E-mail: shmuel_yacobi@yahoo.com
Address: Shmuel Yacobi
# 15/233 Anandpet
Machilipatnam – 521 002
South India
Title: Dead or Alive
Genre: Ghost Comedy
Aim: To sell the same to Hollywood moviemakers
Purpose: To build the South Indian Jewish community

 

Dead or Alive

by Shmuel Yacobi

Gist:

Draco is a hunter and a very big man. He went out into the forest for hunting. A group of young fellows drunk drove and hit Draco. They drove away leaving Draco to the wild dogs. The wild dogs smelled him and tore his body alive. He fought for a while and died. His soul went to the paradise. The security angels said that he was not meant to die. He returned to the earth and found his skeleton. He lost his body. He went into the town and searched for the dead bodies. He had found a young fellow’s body and used it. He married the young fellow’s girl friend. He also convinced his wife that he got a new body. He lived with both women simultaneously and did many ghostly things. Finally he left the body and the two ladies as widows. The angels rejected him again. He came back when they were ready to cremate young fellow’s body. Both ladies jealously shared their husband and had look-alike boys.

 

Dead or Alive

Draco and Margaret were living in a mobile home in a forest area near Seattle. Draco is a hunter. He went out for hunting. He shot a rabbit. He was walking towards the dead rabbit across the muddy road. A group of young cricketers drunk drove and hit Draco. Draco rolled down the road and fell into the valley. The young cricketers did not care to look back. They drove away leaving Draco to the wild dogs.

Draco was badly hurt and bleeding. The wild dogs smelled him and began to tear him alive. He tried to chase the dogs away. He tried and tried to stop the dogs biting him alive. He leaned back on a rock and died. His soul went to the gates of paradise.

The security angels checked his papers and told him that he was not meant to die on that day. They sent him back to the earth. He is supposed to spend his time on earth until they allow his soul into paradise. He was disappointed and rushed to the forest to see his body condition. But the dogs had already torn his body to pieces. Draco was terribly upset to lose his beautiful body in such a dreadful manner. He ran to his home. His wife was still sleeping like a she-bear. He screamed aloud and tried to wake her up. But his voice was not heard. He realized that he was dead and alive at the same time. He cried like a child as he lost his body. He needs a newly dead body to live in.

* * * * *

Draco went to the downtown restaurant. He wanted to have some hot coffee. He sat at a table and called the waitress. She looked at him and came towards his table. Draco thought that she heard him. But she came and took order from Mark and Julie who sat next to him. The waitress brought them hot pancakes and served hot coffee. Draco felt hungry and went to their table and sat there.

Mark began to eat the pancakes. Draco grabbed the pancake and ate. But the pancake is still there. Draco felt only the taste of it but did not eat the pancakes. Mark ate the pancake. There was no taste left in the pancakes. He complained about it. Julie and the waitress took a bite and felt no taste at all. The waitress replaced the pancakes. Draco felt the taste of the hot coffee. He went into the kitchen and snatched the tastes of all items. He had learned many new things. Then he went on to search for newly dead bodies.

* * * * *

The Seattle Cricket stadium was full with the spectators. England team was playing a friendly match with Washington team. Rodney a young cricketer was playing for the Washington team. His girl friend Rose told Rodney that she would marry him only if their team wins. Rodney was excited about this challenging proposal and was playing with extra vigor. Suddenly he was hit by the ball and died immediately. The sports doctors rushed to the spot and the chief declared him dead.

But Draco ran to the spot and entered into Rodney’s body. Draco with Rodney’s body got up. The chief of the sports doctors was surprised. The team members thought the chief was crazy to declare him dead. No one but Draco knew that Rodney was dead.

Draco wanted to go and see his wife Margaret. But he was forced to stay and play with the team. Draco with his ghostly techniques scored the maximum runs and the Washington team won in a ghostly manner. The Washington team insisted that Rose should come and marry Rodney right there in the stadium. They all celebrated the wedding then and there.

* * * * *

Draco with Rodney’s body married Rose. Draco tried to tell his story to Rose. But Rose gave no chance for him to tell. She was always busy with her friends explaining how ghostly Rodney played. The team had arranged the honeymoon for the newly wedded couple in a star hotel in Seattle. They all celebrated the victory of their team in the hotel.

Draco in Rodney’s body called his wife Margaret and told her his story. She took police help and went into the forest and found Draco’s skeleton. She brought the skeleton and hanged it in their mobile home with the special permission from the police authorities. Draco called her from the star hotel and convinced Margaret that he was alive and had found Rodney’s body to live in. Margaret came to the hotel to see Rodney and Rose. She saw Rodney and Rose in the hotel along with all team members. Margaret dragged Rodney aside and picked up quarrel with Draco for marrying Rose. Rose was surprised to see Rodney trying to convince Margaret. She joined the quarrel.

Rose and her friends and the other cricketers were confused to know that Rodney was dead and Draco was living in his body. The chief of the sport doctors who treated Rodney and declared him dead during the match came and confirmed the truth. But no one believed the report and moreover they all suspected him that he might have killed Rodney. But both Rose and Margaret claimed that Draco in Rodney’s body belonged to them either he was dead or alive. There was big confusion about the identity of Draco+Rodney.

Since this was a theological issue they called a protestant pastor. The pastor came and preached on Romans 7: 1-4 and declared that both Rose and Margaret were no more under the law and as widows and they can marry others. There was hot theological argument about their status and eligibility to remarry. The case was handed over to the judges.

* * * * *

The judges declared that Rodney is medically dead but legally alive. They also declared that Draco is physically dead but legally alive. The court case went on for a while. And at the same time both Rose and Margaret were legally allowed to have sex with Draco in Rodney’s body until they marry others.

Meanwhile those who poisoned Rodney and those who hit Draco were caught and prosecuted. The judges came to understand the whole story. The criminals were arrested. The judges declared that a human being could never die twice. According to the legal stand Draco and Rodney died separately. Their death certificates were issued. But the combination of Draco+Rodney may continue to live as long as they can and there is no jurisdiction in the human law to interrupt their status whether they were dead or alive.

* * * * *

Draco was fed up with all these tensions, court cases and quarrels and finally went back to paradise leaving Rodney’s body. The security angels checked the papers and stopped him to enter into the paradise since they recognized him neither as Draco nor as Rodney. They told him that there was no record of such a body soul combination of Draco+Rodney. No one can enter into paradise twice according to the Paradise laws.

Draco returned to earth and entered Rodney’s body just before the cremation. He opened the box and came out from the crematorium with Rodney’s body. All the friends welcomed Draco+Rodney. The chief of the sports doctor was puzzled again. The judges declared that they had no jurisdiction over this type of case and maintained status quo.

The protestant pastor quoted John 12: 25,26 and said, ‘those who believe in me, even though they die will live and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?’ Every said, ‘Amen’. Rose and Margaret came to an agreement and Draco+Rodney visited them separately according to the schedule. They both became pregnant and got two look-alike boys.

  

  

  

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