Dancer's Legs

by

Julia Manchester

Copyright 2004

 

Chapter 6

Against his better judgment Toby went along with his parents' idea, and before the bruises healed Matt was a true hero to the freshman class. The boys admired him because he had the guts to stand up to one of the strongest seniors in the school, and the girls thought his defense of Tammy was hopelessly romantic, if not a touch foolhardy. Regardless of their perspective Matt was now "the man," and nobody crossed him lightly. Everybody knew about the freshman who had taken on Ray Hamblin, even the faculty—unofficially of course—and Matt was on everyone's "A list," and though he himself was only on the freshman team it didn't hurt his standing to have a girlfriend who was a varsity cheerleader.

For Toby the results were mostly good too. He still received admiring looks from every male with a pulse, but even the upper classmen left him alone. Nobody wanted to mess with Matt's girl. He was very reluctant to be seen as 'belonging' to Matt, and having a boy put his arm around his waist as they walked between classes or on the way home from school was more than a little disconcerting, but Matt proved to be a true gentleman, and he never took advantage of Tammy. In fact he treated her like a rare prize to be handled with great care.

Meanwhile "Tammy" continued to develop into a beautiful young woman. By the beginning of October Toby had a 34-23 ½- 32 ¼ figure, and his breasts more than filled his A cup bras. His face had become more than merely pretty, and his legs were perfectly sculptured examples of feminine perfection.

It was somewhere during this time that Toby began to get comfortable in his new role. Skirts, blouses, long hair and makeup were now second nature to him, and even nail polish, high heel shoes and wearing bras no longer bothered him. All those things were"normal" now—a fact of life—and even being known as Matt's girl seemed natural as time went on. Matt proved to be a considerate guy who always made sure that Tammy was enjoying herself when they went to school events, and he always came to see her cheer for the varsity, and Toby went to see Matt play for the freshman team. The only downside to watching Matt from the stands was that the other freshman boys seemed to eye him like a piece of meat when he was alone. Toby really grew uncomfortable when they eyed his breasts, which had grown even more.

It seemed incredibly odd to Toby, but his own hooters were now larger than the breast forms he'd once worn. The difference was that he now felt every little tug and pull when his breasts swung or swayed, or bounced. He felt the soft caress of his bra's cups gently surround his new breasts, and once in a while he could feel his enlarged nipples grow hard and erect. The sensations were amazing, and though he was gradually growing accustomed to them, they served as a constant reminder that his life was different; that HE was different now.

Dr. Kerensky had talked Toby into going on a "maintenance" dosage of estrogen after a few weeks of school. She had been alarmed that his body had been literally shutting down without either estrogen or testosterone to fulfill its growth requirements. The main problem was adjusting the dosage properly so that Toby's body could maintain its normal functions without developing too girlishly. Dr. Kerensky had started with what she had assumed was a conservative dosage, but Toby's pubescent body seemed to soak up the estrogen with a vengeance, and it took several adjustments before his rapid feminization tapered off to a more normal development.

And his growing breasts weren't the only physical change. His hips had continued to widen, and his derriere had filled out, becoming softly rounded as it assumed a classical feminine contour. As a result Toby's natural stride had evolved into typical feminine gait, and his hips gyrated slightly with each step he took. His body adapted to the changes exactly like any girl going through puberty, and the major changes in his stride and movements begat smaller changes in his posture and gestures and mannerisms. He was nearly oblivious to the small details, but the idiosyncrasies he'd imitated for so long now became second nature to him and were no longer an act.

Meanwhile Toby was also gradually becoming accustomed to being treated as Matt's girlfriend, both by Matt and others, and he eventually came to expect the small courtesies and special treatment that Matt thoughtfully offered as a normal part of their interaction. He also began to appreciate Matt's character more fully and to admire his personal qualities. He was also aware that the girls at school considered Matt very desirable—a hunk—but Toby was never able to decide when it was that he began to share that opinion.

As close as he could tell it had begun near the end of October, though he could never pin down the exact date. Somewhere in that time period Toby began to think of men and boys as "they," and to include himself in the female category. He was part of the group that were not men, not male, and the concept of "we" now included all those of the fairer sex. It hadn't been a sudden phenomenon, but a gradual migration from one camp to the other that continued until Toby knew he was far closer to the female side than the male. One day he felt his nipples grow hard and erect as he watched Matt help his father pull out some old shrubs in their yard. Matt was stripped to the waist, wearing a pair of shorts, and Toby was very attracted to Matt's buff physique. The sight of Matt's well developed muscles, shiny with perspiration and bulging from exertion, excited the former boy and conjured up images of being held in those strong arms. That led to his physical reaction, which included a very odd feeling in the pit of Toby's stomach.

From that point on Toby was aware that a decided shift had taken place, and he was aware that the shift became more pronounced over time.

 

By the end of October Toby finally made it to 5'1," but Matt and most of the other boys in the freshman class towered over him. To compensate for his short stature Toby got Pam to let him wear high heels. Pam was not a great fan of platform shoes (she had read an article that claimed they were dangerous, and she wanted nothing to happen to prevent Toby from dancing) but she did allow Toby to buy a pair of platform sandals with a one inch sole and four inch heels, along with several other pair of "normal" pumps with 2 7/8" and 3 1/8" heels.

Toby was so anxious for a little extra height that he went along with his mother's choices, and was also willing to endure the discomfort of wearing the heels all day. He was tired of being looked at and treated like a little kid, and he felt the added height would bring added respect. It did, but wearing heels also drew more attention to his sexy legs, and gave him a very provocative little wiggle when he walked.

As high heels became a part of his daily routine Toby became even more feminine, and his gait was soon quite graceful. The other girls in his school only wore heels on rare occasions, and they were a bit unsteady, if not clumsy when they did, but Toby's dancing background helped tremendously, and he became intimately familiar with the nuances of wearing heels. He glided down the halls at school like a runway model, and his movements became naturally sexy, making Matt the envy of every boy at Traviston High.

Toby and Matt were too young (13 and 14 respectively) to attend the Harvest Dance, but the school also hosted an informal dance the week before the big dance for freshmen and sophomores. Toby wasn't surprised when Matt asked him to go to the dance, and he soon discovered that even though the dance was considered casual the freshmen and sophomores treated it like their own formal dance—at least the girls did—And that required a gown and a lot of preparation. The morning of the dance his mom took him to her salon, and when Toby emerged two hours later his hair was permed with soft highlights, his nails were shaped and polished, his eyebrows were thinned, and he had been given a complete makeover.

There weren't many freshman girls who could wear a strapless dress, but Toby could. His breasts were now a large A or a small B cup, and June had talked him into wearing a white, full - length, strapless gown she had worn as a sophomore. Using the gel inserts from the bra he had purchased a few months before Toby was able to pull it off. The white, sprapless bra had a thick, strong band that felt very confining, but June explained that it was just another sacrifice girls made to look beautiful.

Pam had taken Toby to buy a pair of white sandals with 4" heels to go with the dress, and though Toby wasn't accustomed to heels that were quite that high he was able to walk in them without any difficulty. He did like the extra height the heels gave him—he was all of 5'5" with them on—because Matt had sprouted to about 5'11" and sometimes Toby felt like a midget standing next to him.

Since Matt did not yet have a driver's license he had arranged to "double-date" with Tom Kelso, and his date, Valerie Conners. When Matt saw Toby descend the front stairway at the St. James' house, holding his gown in both hands to avoid tripping on the hem, he was speechless. Finally, he blurted out, "Tammy, you look fantastic!"

Toby blushed deeply and smiled at his date. "And you look very handsome," he replied, surprised at how true that statement was for him. Matt looked so tall, so strong and masculine, and Toby was awed by Matt's easy strength and casual manner. His navy suit fit him perfectly and made him appear several years older.

The dance was a wonderful experience for Toby, and he quickly picked up the technique of dancing backward. There was really nothing to it. He just stayed light on his feet and let Matt guide him around. He learned how to respond to the slightest touch from Matt's arm around his waist or his hand, and before long he was actually able to anticipate Matt's intentions. Toby had such a great time that his inhibitions simply melted away, and he allowed Matt to pull him close after a few dances. By the end of the evening there was no daylight between them, and in the car on the way home there was no distance between their lips.

 

Toby continued to dance with the troupe and cheerlead at school. His growth continued, and soon he was 5'2" and weighed all of 99 pounds. At the same time he continued to evolve both physically and mentally. By Christmas he was a full B cup, with a 34-23-34 ½ figure, and considered by the guys to be a hot little chick, but even more important were the emotional changes that he had undergone.

By that time Toby had been living as a full time female for nearly seven months, and almost full time for another three months before that. Makeup, feminine clothes, and trips to the beautician were so natural to him—so much a part of his normal routine—that he found it increasingly difficult to recall what it had been like to be a normal boy. With each passing day Toby became more firmly entrenched in his new, feminine way of life.

Over a period of months he began to see his hidden phallus as a deformity rather than the potential key to return to his former life. At first he had considered his concealed penis as an insurance policy that he could cash in if things went sour for him on the distaff side of the great gender divide, but he came to the realization that a return to his former life was impossible, and besides, he was doing all right as a girl, and the only possibility of a "normal" life was on the female side of the line.

The realization that he actually wanted to be a girl—fully and completely—had shocked and embarrassed Toby at first, but he gradually accepted his fate. He wasn't sure if the desire sprang from the hormones, which he continued to take in measured doses, the camaraderie he had developed with the girls in the troupe, or the months of female "programming" he had undergone. Perhaps it was just that the knowledge that he couldn't cut it as a man had caused him to simply give up hope of returning to a masculine life, but that in itself would not explain his new attraction to the boys in his school, and the fact that he felt no sexual attraction for girls anymore.

About the only downside to being a girl was the loss of strength. Toby had once been about average in strength for a boy his age, but his wiry strength had all but left him. His arms had become girlishly thin, and lifting even everyday items like a suitcase or a bag of groceries had become much more difficult. His lower body was weaker too, though his hips and thighs were actually larger. He couldn't run nearly as fast as he once had, or jump as high. June had explained that puberty sometimes did that to girls.

"Why do you think that the last several Olympic gold medals for women gymnasts had been won by pre-pubescent 12 year olds?" She asked rhetorically, answering her own question a moment later. "It's because they have no hips or boobs to get in the way."

Toby understood completely since he was experiencing the same thing at an accelerated rate. He was also beginning to understand the "herd instinct" that affected girls. In part it was a defense mechanism – girls were all too aware of their physical inferiority to males, and they learned early in life that there is safety in numbers. But there was more to it than that. Having experienced life in both sexes Toby realized that males, including the "old" Toby, were more independent, more competitive, and less inclined to cooperate with each other. They vied for dominance and possession of a mate. The "new" Toby felt none of those needs. Like the other girls he was strangely passive in the presence of the boys, and he was perfectly content to let the boys decide what to do and where to go when they all got together. While the males tried to cull a female from the herd, the females all seemed to wait to be chosen, provided it was by the right male.

He wondered whether the nagging insecurity he felt was the result of his inexperience as a girl or something all girls felt at his age, and he was amazed that the boys he once hung out with now seemed like complete strangers.

 

By early February Toby was blossoming into a rare and delicate creature. His height was nearing 5' 3" and he had gained a few pounds, mostly in his hips and bust. His 34B bras fit quite snugly over his expanding breasts, and his hips had broadened to 35 inches. His waist remained a tiny 23 ½ inches, which gave him an incredible figure. Pamela and June were amazed at the way his body had taken to the influence of estrogen, and Pamela began to think that Toby looked far better as a girl than he ever had as a boy.

Her son had the face of an angel, with large, sparkling blue eyes, high cheekbones, and full, kissable lips. His flaxen hair hung well below his shoulders and seemed to shimmer in the light. His long, sculpted legs were classically feminine, especially in heels, and his movements had become naturally graceful and elegant. After months of hormones Toby's skin was soft and blemish free, and any suggestion that "Tammy" was not 100% female would have been considered madness. In fact, "Tammy" was considered by many to be the most beautiful girl in town.

 

Traviston High School had an unusual tradition. Each year the senior class voted for a king and queen for the spring prom, but the lower classes voted for a prince and princess. The prince also became a member of the king's "knights," and the princess became a member of the queen's "ladies." Together the group made up the entire "court." The prince and princess also wore smaller versions of the crown and tiara.

"Tammy" and June were both in the running for prom princess, but Toby didn't want to compete against his sister so he did nothing to increase his chances, and even lobbied his friends to vote for June. It was a close contest, but June managed to beat her brother by a few votes, much to the relief of both siblings. June was becoming a little intimidated by Toby's beauty, and a latent competitive instinct had begun to manifest itself, at least in her own mind. She had convinced herself that it would be humiliating to finish second to her brother, of all people, in the vote for princess. Toby, on the other hand, still felt a bit odd that he should even be in the running for princess, and he was glad when June won the vote. The only problem was that Matt had been elected prince.

Matt's name was on the list because one of his friends had nominated him, but he really didn't care about the competition so he, like Toby, had done nothing to further his chances. However, a few of his friends had organized a clandestine effort on his behalf, and they had been aided by a few girls who were jealous of Tammy, and their efforts had been successful.

According to tradition the prince escorted the princess to the dance, and that meant that Tammy's boyfriend would be taking "her" sister. It was an absurd situation, and Toby couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy towards June, though he told himself he was being ridiculous. After all, he was partially responsible for June's election, and in that he was genuinely happy for her. Besides, he told himself he wasn't really a girl, at least not yet, and even though his attitudes and sexual orientation were those of a normal teenage girl something inside him told him he had no right to be jealous of any real female; that he would not acquire that "right" until he had become a complete girl.

It was then that Toby realized that he had made the decision to "go all the way."

In the days that followed he became more and more determined to become a full-fledged female. He confided in his mother, and Pam supported him completely. She could see that there was no chance her son could ever have a normal life as a man – He was just too far gone, both physically and emotionally. She knew that, aside from developing into a stunning beauty, Toby had lost all interest in females, from a sexual standpoint, and that "Tammy" was firmly attracted to boys, but she advised her erstwhile son to keep his decision to himself, for now. Pam knew that the decision to become a true female would deeply hurt Bob.

Pam had already consulted Drs. Grant, Kerensky, and Girard, and they had informed her that surgery was possible at any time. Though a surgeon would not ordinarily touch a child Toby's age, his case was unusual. The fact that Toby's masculine organs were non-functional, and that he had been living as a female for eleven months, nine of those full-time, combined with the apparent switch in sexual orientation and his obvious success in his female role made him a prime candidate for sexual reassignment surgery.

Pam broke the news to Bob as gently as she could, but he wasn't convinced. He had watched the metamorphosis of his son with a growing sense of loss, and as far as Bob was concerned the entire episode had become a tragedy, and Toby was simply trying to make the most out of a bad deal. That was so typical of his son, who Bob regarded as a great kid. Toby wouldn't be in this fix if it weren't for his generosity, and now it seemed that everything was conspiring against him, and everyone was jumping to conclusions about his condition. How did they know that Toby would never be able to function as a man, or that he would always be an effeminate runt? Bob knew they were doing marvelous things with human growth hormones, and if estrogen could feminize Toby it stood to reason that testosterone could restore at least a measure of his masculinity. The problem, as Bob saw it, was that there was just too much female influence around Toby. All those women were guiding and advising his son, and their natural bias was, of course, towards all things feminine.

Bob decided it was time that Toby had a little more masculine influence in his life, and he was just the guy to handle the job. The problem was that his input was literally drowned out by all of the women around his son. What he had to do was get Toby alone for a few days so he would have a chance to get the boy straightened out. After a week of pondering the problem Bob hit upon the perfect plan.

Easter was early that year and so was the spring break, and the prom was scheduled for the Saturday before the beginning of spring break, in mid March. Bob decided that it would be a perfect time to take Toby to Florida and spend a week watching the spring training baseball games. Just he and Toby would go. June had the prom and Pam would stay behind and watch their daughter.

Bob's plan was not to try to change Toby overnight – He knew that was impossible. He merely wanted to begin to sway Toby's mind back to a masculine polarity. He reasoned that if he could just nudge Toby towards the proper side of the line, just a bit, he might yet salvage his son's manhood. At least he might want to fight for it instead of giving in and having the surgery.

But there were practical limitations, and the problem wasn't simply a matter of feminine influence. There were also real physical problems too. By that time Toby had acquired a stunning 34-23-35 figure, and his breasts had ballooned out to nearly a full C cup. His face haunted the dreams of many boys at his school. His mannerisms had become completely feminine, and his gentle disposition, shy smile and wide innocent eyes screamed GIRL to anyone who encountered him.

Bob knew he would have to take it slow and easy.

 

Chapter 7

 

Bob and Toby left for Florida the morning of the prom so Toby didn't get a chance to see June all dolled up. On the positive side he did not have to witness his sister being escorted by Matt, or the fuss that Pam made over the couple. By the time Matt picked up June Toby was sitting in a front row box seat watching the Yankees destroy the Detroit Tigers in an exhibition game.

Bob had admonished Toby to "leave the skirts and dresses at home," in an attempt to get the boy back into pants, but Toby's old clothes no longer fit him, and his new wardrobe wasn't exactly a model for the well-dressed young man. He was wearing a pair of tight, girls' navy shorts, a white tank top that hugged his increasingly well-endowed figure, and leather sandals with two-inch heels. His blonde hair was pulled into a bouncy ponytail, and he had a navy shoulder bag slung over his shoulder.

Bob had bowed to the inevitable with Toby's clothes, realizing that it would take a lot of time to get his son back into "normal" attire, assuming that was even possible, and he satisfied himself with just turning Toby's mind back towards masculine pursuits. It seemed to be working too, as Toby appeared to be engrossed in the game. He followed every pitch. Every play, just as he always had, and Bob began to feel pretty good about his plan.

He felt even better when Toby went to the concession stand after the game and purchased a baseball to get a few autographs. Bob watched from his seat as Toby waited patiently in line to get a player's signature. He wondered why Toby chose the line for one of the Yankees' farmhands instead of one of the lines that led to one of the established superstars, but then he realized that the line Toby chose was much shorter. And Bob decided Toby didn't want to wait too long for an autograph. The kid who was signing had performed well. Even brilliantly, and Toby probably thought the youngster was one of the organization's rising stars.

Bob would have been much less sanguine about his plans if he knew the real reason Toby had chosen that particular line. In fact, the feminized boy was completely infatuated by the young third baseman. It wasn't as if Toby was intentionally flirting with the young player – he wasn't – but as Bob watched from afar he saw the unmistakable body language of a young girl who had a terrible crush on a boy, and Bob knew then that his plan was a lost cause. His son was past the stage where he could intervene and bring the boy back. He no longer had a son at all, he realized, but two daughters.

The rest of the vacation was nice, but Bob was preoccupied by his new daughter's emerging needs. He did not need a doctor or a psychologist to confirm what his own eyes witnessed, and he recalled reading that the sooner a transsexual was allowed to transition the better off she would be.

One day, while Toby was down sunning himself at the pool, Bob phoned Pam and admitted defeat. He also discussed what they should do next, and Pam confessed that Toby had confided to her that he wanted to become a complete female. After discussing their options Bob agreed to allow Toby to have the surgery.

Bob revealed all of this to Toby on the trip back home, and he wasn't too surprised when Toby broke down in tears and hugged him like a daughter. After all, he was just that.

 

Pam had shared the news of Bob's decision with June, and when Toby got home June pulled him into her room to talk. She told her younger sister all about the dance, which was great except for Matt, who spent much of the night talking about Tammy. He was polite and considerate of course, but after a few dances June had mingled with her friends, and Matt had done the same. She also reported that several girls – she listed them by name – had made moves on Matt, but he declined to get involved with any of them.

"Girl, that boy is in LOVE with you! Absolutely and completely."

Toby blushed and felt a warm feeling rising in the pit of his stomach. His feelings for Matt had grown during the year, and he suddenly realized that he was in love too. When tears began to form in his eyes June leaned forward and hugged him tightly, which made him feel wonderful but also started the tears flowing freely.

"I think I love him too," the new girl confessed through her tears, and June hugged her sister again.

The following day Pam called Nancy Kerensky and told her of Toby's decision and the unanimous agreement of the family. Dr. Kerensky seemed relieved to hear the news and immediately scheduled an appointment for Toby. She recommended a psychologist by the name of Alice Edwards, and assured Pam that, given the circumstances, she saw no problem in getting approval for the surgery that would complete Toby's transformation. She also scheduled an appointment for Toby to come into her office. She told Pam that since Toby had made his decision to complete the process she wanted to alter his dosages to that of a normal teenage girl.

After both appointments Toby was given new scripts for his medication, and his surgery was scheduled for one week after the end of the school year. In the meantime all restrictions on physical education and athletic participation were lifted.

 

In the weeks that followed Toby became a different person. He seemed happier and more at peace with his situation. At school he went out for the girl's swim team, and though he made the team he was shocked to discover that his times in the 100 meter freestyle were far slower than the ones he had posted the prior year. In fact he was only the third fastest of the four girls that swam the event. He stuck with it, though, and did manage to improve his times a little, but after a couple of weeks he realized that he would never again achieve the times he had as a boy.

Swimming for the girls' team involved other adjustments too. The blue and white tank suits the girls wore a bit more revealing than the one Toby had used for Marcie's pool party, and tighter too. The legs were cut very high and the neckline was low enough to show a little more of Toby's enhanced cleavage than he preferred. As one of the bustier girls Toby felt the eyes of every boy that came to the meets follow him as he moved about the pool. Thankfully, Matt was usually there too, and his mere presence was enough to discourage any of the other boys from getting out of line. But they looked – a lot.

It was no wonder they did, either. Since going on the increased dosage Toby's breasts had grown to a full C, and though Dr. Kerensky thought they had reached the limit of their growth they were large enough to draw a lot of attention. It seemed to Toby that most of the boys rarely looked him in the eye when they spoke to him, and he doubted whether any of them could remember the color of his eyes.

A few of the boys could, though, because in addition to having a great figure "Tammy" was becoming drop-dead gorgeous. Her classic oval face was framed by her luxurious hair, and her facial features had become delicate and refined, with high cheekbones, wide, innocent eyes, and lips that begged to be kissed. The photographers for the school paper and yearbook practically followed her around, and though most of the pictures they snapped were group photos, they always seemed to have Tammy in the forefront.

The increased hormones also brought the new girl's emotions bubbling to the surface. Toby caught himself giggling at foolish, girly jokes, and at other times he seemed to cry at the drop of a pin. The emotional roller coaster was exhausting at times, and though Dr. Kerensky assured her patient that it was temporary and his emotions would settle down shortly Toby felt like he was being controlled by his emotions much more than when he previously took large doses of estrogen. He seemed unable to concentrate at times, and found himself daydreaming about Matt quite a bit.

For his part Matt enjoyed the changes in "his girl," though he didn't know the reason for them, and he sometimes found Tammy's behavior strange. He was particularly confused by her occasional tears. He had heard that all girls went through an emotional turmoil during their periods, and he assumed that Tammy was just experiencing what other girls did during "that time of month," and he tried to be supportive.

From a purely physical standpoint he could see that Tammy was growing more beautiful by the day, and he couldn't get her out of his mind. He dreamt of making her his wife, though he knew that marriage was out of the question for years, but he began to consider the possibility and vague, generalized plans began to form in his mind. In the meantime he treated her like a rare treasure, and she responded with increasing affection, leaning against him as they walked down the halls at school or at the mall, and letting him kiss her in a way that women reserve for the one they love.

By spring Toby had grown another ½ " to 5' 3 ½ " and he was happy to finally be growing out of petite fashions. He was still short, even for a girl, and Matt still towered over him, but her wasn't being mistaken for a child anymore, especially with his figure, and high heels helped his self image quite a bit.

Baseball was out, of course, but he could and did go out for the softball team. He originally thought it was just baseball played with a larger ball and thinner bats, but he soon found that there were several important differences in the way the games were played. He also discovered that his arm strength had actually diminished somewhat since swimming season ended. He was still fairly quick, though not as much as when he was a boy, but his arm was so much weaker that he was glad the girls played on a smaller diamond. He would have never been able to make the throw from shortstop to first on a full size field, though he was adequate for the smaller one.

Another difference in the games was the uniforms. On the boys' team Toby had worn a typical baseball uniform consisting of pants, a button down shirt, and a standard cap, but on the softball team he was issued a fairly tight pullover top, tight shorts, knee high socks, and a cap with a hole in the back so the girls could their hair in ponytails and keep it out of their faces when they played. A shin pad was also worn on the leg he bent as he slid into bases.

The play was far less aggressive than he was used to with the boys, but that suited him fine. He didn't want to get injured playing – after all, it was just a game. He had more important things on his mind, like Matt.

Matt was on the baseball team, so they often played on adjoining fields, and since he had gotten his license that spring he usually drove Tammy home after the games, often stopping for a snack or just to talk. The license meant a lot more freedom for them, and as the days warmed Matt was able to drive them to the beach and the mall without one of their parents looking over their shoulders. Of course that meant a few extracurricular activities, but they never went all the way. Tammy did allow Matt to fondle her breasts on rare occasions, and it felt absolutely wonderful, but Matt was able to restrain his impulse to push her further than she was willing to go, and of course Tammy knew that, no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn't allow Matt to touch her "down there."

 

The rest of the school year seemed to fly by as Toby prepared for his surgery. Their softball team finished in the middle of their league, but the boys did very well, and after Tammy's season ended she went to see Matt play. As the end of the year approached Pam and Bob got together with Toby's medical team and they decided to stage another "trip" to Chicago. This time the whole family would go, ostensibly to visit Toby, but in reality they would change planes at O'Hare and fly on to Colorado to a well known clinic that specialized in SRS. They would be gone for about a week, maybe more, since they wanted to be sure Toby was sufficiently healed to travel. Just prior to their departure Dr. Girard removed the surgical glue that restrained Toby's penis, and Toby was shocked at how small it appeared. At the same time he was repelled by the sight of the unwanted appendage, and he couldn't wait to become a true female. The only good thing was he wouldn't have to wear the gaffe he had started with. The remnant of his masculinity was so small it was barely noticeable.

Pam glanced over at her son as they were flying to Colorado, and she wondered what he was thinking. He seemed completely at peace, but the surgery he about to undergo would have profound consequences for the rest of his life, and he was so young to be making a decision like this. For the millionth time she considered how unfair it was, how life had dealt her wonderful son such a rotten hand, and once again she blamed herself for getting him into this mess.

Bob seemed to read his wife's mind, and he reached over and took her hand. "It's not your fault, you know," he told her quietly so the children wouldn't hear.

"I got him into this in the first place," she replied. "If I hadn't been so concerned about the dance troupe this never would have happened."

"Nonsense," her husband replied. "You had nothing to do with him taking those pills, and you didn't know about it until it was too late. Besides, Toby – I guess we better get used to calling her Tammy now – Is happy about the way things have turned out. He – She has never been more popular or had this many friends, and she seems to have adapted to her new life completely.

"I was the one who is to blame. If I had spent more time with him I might have noticed the changes he was undergoing."

"Now you're talking nonsense," his wife told him. "I spent a lot of time with him – the dance troupe, shopping for clothes, and everything else, and I never really noticed anything out of the ordinary, aside from the fact that he was dressed as a girl."

"Well, just get it out of your head that you are somehow responsible for all this," Bob told Pam. "In a sense we all are, and at the same time no one is to blame. Things just got out of hand."

"She really is pretty, isn't she?" Pam asked her husband.

"She's far more than pretty. She's beautiful," he replied. "The dangerous part of that is that she doesn't realize how gorgeous she is. She's completely oblivious to it, just as I was to what she's become."

"Well, she hasn't changed in one respect. She's still a sweet child. Boy or girl, she still has a great heart."

"Absolutely," Bob agreed, putting his arm around her shoulder. "She's just like her mother."

That earned him a kiss and a smile, and that was enough for Bob. He settled back and tried to enjoy the rest of the flight.

 

Chapter 8

 

The clinic was located in a beautiful small town, nestled in the mountains. There was still snow below the tree line on many of the peaks, and the air was cool and crystal clear. The sky seemed a deeper blue at that altitude, and the first yellow and blue wild flowers were sprouting at the lower elevations, decorating the craggy rock formations and providing a colorful contrast to the dark green pine that marched up the slopes in ragged lines. The building itself was in the style of a Swiss chalet, with a steeply pitched roof, half timbered walls, and crosshatched window panes. It was set back from the road at the crest of a small rise in the center of a mountain meadow that curled upwards to a stand of tall pine.

The entire St. James family piled out of their rented car and stretched after the two hour drive from the airport. They all had reservations at a motel just down the road, but everyone wanted to go to the clinic with Tammy before they checked in. They were met by a middle aged woman who introduced herself as Jenny, and she took them all inside and settled them in a conference room. Pam handed her the medical records, which included the requisite releases and written permission and recommendations from Tammy's medical team.

After a brief explanation of the surgery and a tentative timetable, Jenny led Tammy to another room where a nurse checked her blood pressure, pulse, and respiration. She also drew a blood sample and had Tammy undress. She gave her a hospital gown and asked for another type of sample, which she provided after a few minutes. After she had the records and the results of the examination Toby was taken to a small, but cheery room where she would stay for the next several days. Pam was allowed to stay with her new daughter while Bob took June to the motel.

When Bob and June returned to the clinic they discovered that the surgeon had already been in to see Tammy, and he had assured her that she was in fine health, and that he expected the surgery to go smoothly. He had remarked that he usually didn't see patients that were so young, but he explained to Tammy and Pam that he viewed Tammy's youth as a positive factor. He also remarked as he left that he rarely had patients as pretty as

Tammy was, and the new girl blushed.

The surgery was scheduled for 7 A.M. the next day, and he wanted his patient to get a good night's sleep, so the family left shortly after the doctor.

 

Tammy was awakened at 5:30, but she was allowed no food and only a sip of water before the nurse began preparing her for surgery. Her family had come to see her and wish her well, but they were given only a few minutes before the nurse shooed them out. After the family was gone the nurse really got down to business, and her work included an embarrassing shave of Tammy's private areas. She gave Tammy a special cap to wear that would keep her hair out of the way during the surgery, then she helped her patient dress in a very short hospital gown that was designed to give the surgeon access to her pubic area. After she was ready the nurse gave her a shot then allowed Bob and Pam back in for a few minutes until Tammy drifted off to dreamland.

The next thing Tammy knew she was back in her room, but she was barely conscious and found it hard to focus her eyes. She felt extremely tired, and the one sensation she was truly conscious of was thirst. Her mouth felt as dry as dust, and she croaked out a request for water.

"Hi honey. How are you feeling? "I'll raise your bed just a little so you can take a sip."

Tammy recognized the voice of his mother.

"Where am I?" She rasped.

"You're at the clinic, honey," she reminded him as she inched his head higher. "It's all over, and the doctor said everything went wonderfully. You're my baby girl now, and in a few days you'll be up and around."

It all came back in a rush to her, and the former boy smiled as she sipped a tiny amount of water through a straw. Her mouth seemed to absorb all of the liquid and she was still thirsty, but her mother told her she had to take it easy on the fluids for a while longer. Still, the realization that she was now a complete woman brought a smile to her lips. She wasn't a freak anymore, someone caught between the sexes, but a real female.

"Can I see?" She asked.

"Not right now," her mother replied. "The doctor doesn't want any unnecessary movement. Besides, it's a little swollen and discolored right now. But that will disappear over time, and the doctor said when the swelling goes down you'll look just like the other girls."

Tammy nodded slightly – even that movement was a chore – and smiled dreamily.

"Dad and June are outside, waiting their turn to see you. I'll go get your father first," his mom told him.

 

Later that day Tammy got a chance to see herself, and she was appalled at the bruises and swelling, not to mention the sight of the catheter, but the doctor assured her that she looked far better than most of his patients, and that the swelling would go down in a few days. The ugly bruises would take a bit longer to fade, but when they did she would look completely natural.

She was given a little pain medication, but her doctor wanted to begin reducing that as soon as possible. He told she would have to put up with a little discomfort for the next several days, and told her to be a "brave girl" for him.

She was confined to the bed as long as the catheter was in, but was told it would come out in a couple of days, and in the meantime she was to limit her movement as much as possible to avoid tearing her stitches and damaging the doctor's work. In the meantime her nurse gave her lessons in feminine hygiene that were embarrassing, showing her how to douche herself, and how to dilate her new vagina to prevent it from closing up. The nurse used an atomically correct model to demonstrate, but assured Tammy that she would help her perform each task she described before she was discharged.

That was not something Tammy was looking forward to doing.

By the third day Tammy was becoming very restless, and sick of hospital food. The reason for the bland diet had been explained to her, and she understood why she was being poisoned, but it didn't make the meals any more palatable. She was definitely feeling some discomfort, though not outright pain, in the area of her surgery, and as time passed she was growing concerned that something had gone wrong, despite the reassurance of her nurse and doctor. So when the doctor came into her room just before noon and announced it was time to remove her catheter, she was overjoyed. Without the catheter she would be allowed to get out of bed and walk around a little, even if she couldn't leave just yet.

She felt an odd pulling sensation as the catheter was removed, and during that time she was actually able to perceive her new vaginal cavity. A tiny breath of air swirled around her new equipment and Tammy's eyes opened wide as she felt it caress her new opening.

Afterwards she was helped to a sitting position then allowed to stand with support from her nurse and her mother. When her head cleared she was able to take a few steps before her escorts turned her around and led her back to the bed. As she lay back down she felt as if she had just run a mile.

Tammy's introduction to stents came the next day, and her nurse demonstrated again, using lubricating jelly and the smallest diameter stent to start her out. Tammy was mortified to dilate herself in front of the nurse, and the sensation of actually inserting a foreign object into herself caused her to gasp. She could feel her inner structure being gently pushed aside as she inserted the stent slowly, and she almost panicked, but the nurse was right there, and she encouraged Tammy to continue. A small shivering sensation deep within caused the new girl to tremble a bit and brought a smile to the nurse's face.

"That's a good sign," she advised. It means that your nerve endings are intact and functioning as we hoped."

Later that day Tammy was subjected to her first pelvic examination and tears came to her eyes as she felt the doctor probing her new equipment. She squeezed her mother's hand tightly, and Pam stroked her hair, knowing exactly what her new daughter was going through. She knew that Tammy would eventually become accustomed to the indignities of a pelvic exam, even though she would never enjoy them.

Tammy was discharged two days later, and though she was still quite sore and stiff she was grateful to be out. She wore a loose sundress with comfortable cotton panties and no hose. Pam helped her fix her hair and June did her makeup, and when Bob entered the room he embraced the three women in his life and resisted the urge to carry his newest daughter to the car. Instead he put his arm around her waist and helped her walk slowly out of the building and towards her new life.

 

Chapter 9

 

Youth has its advantages, and by the time they returned home Tammy was able to walk fairly normally, though she wouldn't be running in any races or playing softball for a while. Sadly, she realized she would also not be wearing a swimsuit for at least a month, but she knew that the worst was over and that she would be getting better every day. Already the swelling was way down and some of the ugly purple bruises were turning an uglier, but lighter shade of sickly yellow.

Tammy was examined by Doctors Grant, Girard, and Kerensky the week she returned home, and each of them, in turn, told her the surgeon had done a wonderful job on her. Dr. Grant gave her "the talk" during his examination, and when Tammy began to protest that she wasn't about to "do it" with any boy he held up his hand to silence her.

"Tammy, I believe you, I really do, but you need to have all of this information in case circumstances change in the future, and even if you think you know all about this I want you to hear me out, okay?"

Tammy nodded, and listened while Phillip Grant gave her his Sex-Ed 101 lecture.

While Doctor Girard played a minor role, merely checking the results of the surgery, Doctor Kerensky took blood and when the results came back from the lab she adjusted Tammy's medication one more time. She gave her a list of things she needed to watch for, and told her to call if she had any questions at all. In the meantime she schedule Tammy for six month checkups.

During this time Bob, Pam, and June were doing an admirable job of covering their tracks. They explained that Toby was having a great time at his aunt's home, and that he had made a lot of new friends. Since Tammy liked it in Traviston the families had decided to continue the arrangements for another year. Unfortunately Tammy had "picked up a bug" during the trip, and she needed some time to recover.

It was at least plausible, and it seemed to cover all the points that needed to be explained. June even made up a few details about Toby's new friends, including a new girlfriend, which made the story even more believable, especially to the kids from the high school.

Matt wasn't easily deterred from seeing Tammy though, and he pestered Pam, until she told him he could see her in a few days. Tammy was getting better every day, and Pam hoped that in a few days she would be fully recovered, except for the bruises.

Tammy was anxious to see Matt too, and she didn't think it would be a problem. The pain and discomfort were almost gone, and the aches that remained were almost eliminated with aspirin. The swelling was almost completely gone too, and she doubted if anyone could possibly notice. Of course the ugly bruises were still there, but even those were beginning to subside a bit, and she hoped she would be able to wear slacks in a few days. Shorts might be a bit risky, unless she wore a pair with longer legs, but she didn't have to worry about that yet.

The select few of their friends who were in on the secret (the girls from the troupe) were amazingly loyal to their newest girlfriend, and though Pam regarded them as the "weak link" in the plan, they actually managed to keep the secret to themselves. June felt it was easier with a group knowing because they could always talk among themselves, which they did, discreetly and incessantly.

 

Matt was worried about Tammy, and his concern showed on his face as he entered the house. Tammy smiled at him when he came into the living room, and his look of concern faded into a big grin as he saw his pretty girl's face light up. He had missed her terribly, and when he heard that she had been sick he had to see her. As he looked down at Tammy he could see that she wasn't feeling completely well. There was something in her movements that told him she was still a little out of sorts.

When Bob and Pam left the room Matt put an arm around Tammy's shoulders, and was gratified by her reaction. She leaned against him and gave an audible sigh, bringing a smile to Matt's face.

"I really missed you, Tammy," he said earnestly, squeezing her just a bit and putting his other hand on her thigh.

"I missed you too," Tammy replied. "I didn't have much fun while I was gone," she said truthfully, "and I thought about you a lot."

Matt grinned down at his petite beauty and turned her face towards him. "Well, we'll have a lot of fun this summer," he reminded her. "We'll be together a lot."

Tammy smiled up at her man and nestled against him again. "I just have to get over my, this . . . illness," she sighed.

Bob and Pam were observing their new daughter from the next room, unknown to either Tammy or Matt, and what they saw made them feel a lot better about everything they had just gone through. Tammy was obviously content with her decision, and deeply attracted to Matt. Dr. Kerensky had already told them that the upside of the tragedy was that, since Tammy had begun taking the estrogen just as she was entering puberty, her body had not been subjected to the massive influences of testosterone that other teen aged boys experienced, and she would continue to appear as feminine as any other woman. The timing also had a lot to do with her mental outlook, and Dr. Kerensky had pointed to Tammy's growing attraction to boys as proof she was completely socialized as a female.

Neither parent had wanted this to happen to their son, but now that it had they both wanted Tammy to have a chance at a normal life. Their daughter could obviously never have children of their own, but many women faced the same problem. All in all, things were looking pretty good from their point of view.

 

Tammy improved a little every day, and the soreness became a thing of the past. Only the bruising remained to remind her of her surgery, and that too was fading. She still could not wear a swimsuit, but shorts and short skirts were okay. She usually wore dark pantyhose with the skirts to minimize the chance anyone would see her bruises, but even that concern diminished towards the end of July.

Meanwhile she began to work out with the dance troupe again. Pam kept her exertions to a minimum at first, but gradually Tammy was able to keep up with the rest of the girls. In the beginning of August Pam was able to schedule several performances for the troupe and begin selecting their outfits.

On a personal level, Tammy had worked with the stents the nurse had given her, gradually working her way up to the largest size. Nothing quite drove home the reality of her new female existence like dilation, and it made her consider her new role in life from a sexual standpoint, instead of the ordinary social and clothing concerns. Over time Tammy became a bit more introspective and shy. She began to see herself in typical female roles that she hadn't really considered, such as a housewife, a bride, or . . . a mother. Thinking about motherhood often caused tears to come to her eyes. She was fully aware that she would never be able to conceive or carry a child, much less give birth, but then she wouldn't have been able to father a child either before the operation, so her decision to undergo SRS hadn't deprived her of anything, but that didn't lessen the pain.

As time passed Tammy also began to consider new career options. When she was a boy she often thought about playing professional sports, though she now realized that was unrealistic. "Toby" had not been that athletic, and his small size would have precluded any professional sports career, except perhaps as a jockey.

Now Tammy began to consider other possibilities with a maturity that was beyond her years and borne of her recent experiences. She quickly rejected medicine – Her recent experience had left a bad taste in her mouth for doctor's offices, hospitals and clinics. Business didn't appeal to her either, or science, but dancing was another matter. She had come to love dancing with the troupe, and now she began to consider dance as a possible career option. She spoke with her mother about it, and Pam told her it was very hard work that required intensive study, grace, coordination, and an aptitude for artistic interpretation. When Tammy asked Pam whether she would have any problem due to her change of gender Pam smiled and told her that was the least of her problems. Nobody would ever consider the idea that she hadn't always been a girl.

"The first time I ever saw you dance with the troupe I thought you had great legs," she replied. "You could dance at Radio City Music Hall if you put your mind to it," she added.

From that point on Tammy began to take dancing more seriously, but something else began to exert an influence on her, too.

 

Tammy had spent nearly a year in a gender limbo, and after the stress of discovering the damage to her body, the trauma of the surgery, and relief of finally belonging to one sex, she began to embrace her new gender wholeheartedly. It seemed to Pam and Bob that she was either making up for lost time or trying to prove to the world she was a complete girl.

Regardless of the reason, she became more feminine by the day. She dressed in very feminine fashions, and indulged in girlish activities to a greater extent than even her sister and friends. She begged Pam to teach her how to sew and knit, and she actually began to make some of her own clothes. She got to the point where she could hem a skirt or take in the waist, and she seemed to take extra time with her makeup and hair. Her bedroom soon contained several stuffed animals, pictures of girls dancing, and a photo album that contained pictures of Tammy and her friends dancing, cheerleading, posing in their swimsuits, and just goofing around. She and June were always borrowing clothes from each other and helping each other with their hair, and by the middle of August even her physicians had trouble remembering that Tammy had once been a boy.

Dr. Edwards checked with Dr. Kerensky and told Bob and Pam that there was nothing wrong with Tammy's hormone levels, and that she was probably seeking validation of her decision to go through with the surgery. She expected Tammy to find a happy medium as she became more comfortable in her new life. In the meantime she advised the puzzled parents to let their new daughter find a new equilibrium over time.

Matt really didn't notice much of a change in Tammy (sometimes boys have no clue), but he was happy when he was finally able to convince his girl to go to the beach in mid August. By that time Tammy's bruises had disappeared, and she and June went shopping for a new suit. Her pure white bikini enhanced her already well developed bustline, and revealed enough cleavage to draw the eyes of every boy on the beach. Matt loved it, and he felt a sense of pride to have such a beautiful girl.

As summer waned Tammy started cheerleading practice, while Matt began lifting in earnest for football. He was growing taller and stronger, and while Tammy was up to 5' 4" Matt had grown to 6' 1." Whenever their schedules coincided Matt would drive Tammy to school, then head to the weight room while she and the other cheerleaders practiced outside. Afterwards Matt often took Tammy out for a soft drink, sometimes with a group of other players and cheerleaders. Afterwards it sometimes took them a long time to get home.

The dance troupe was practicing too, getting ready for their first big competition of the year. This year Pam had decided to go with a Mexican theme, and the girls worked as hard on their costumes as the routines themselves. The costumes consisted of white, off the shoulder blouses, very full knee length skirts in Aztec patterns with layers of petticoats, and spiked high heel shoes. Most of the girls, June included, had a difficult time getting used to the 3 ½ inch heels, but Tammy had no problem at all, and Pam chose her to dance the lead. Oddly enough, the most difficult part of the routine for Tammy was learning to use the castanets, but she eventually mastered the small, handheld devices.

The dance was a bit suggestive, and Tammy's part called for her to strut in a circle, alternately swirling her skirt (and exposing her thighs) and using the castanets with her hands held above her head. It called for a saucy performance, and Tammy even practiced the facial expressions she would use as she strutted her stuff in the performance.

When Pam saw her new daughter's interpretation of the choreography she was a bit shocked at first, and very glad that there were no boys around to see her youngest girl perform the routine like a barroom flirt, but the more she thought about it the dance she had designed really did call for just that type of performance. The audience would love it, and she realized that Tammy wasn't being all that suggestive. Her reservations were due to the fact that her former son would be dancing the lead. After she forced herself to look at Toby's interpretation in an objective manner she came to the conclusion that it was perfect, and didn't change a thing.

On the night of the big performance the girls were fluttering around in the dressing room, helping each other with their hair and makeup, and inspecting each other to make sure their outfits were perfect. While the other girls were wearing sheer to waist pantyhose Tammy was wearing a red garterbelt to hold up her smoky nylons. The matching strapless bra accentuated the already alluring cleavage displayed by her peasant blouse, and her very high, red spiked heels molded her legs wonderfully and gave an extra wiggle to her steps. June helped her with the four petticoats that the costume called for, before helping her step into her full skirt. The two sisters hugged each other briefly, and when all the girls were ready they left the dressing room and took their positions on the stage, behind the lowered curtain.

Though the performance was in the high school auditorium they had a small professional group of musicians that night, which was far better than the recorded music they usually used. Four other groups had performed before them, and the auditorium was packed with parents and friends, and a smattering of dance aficionado. There was also a camera crew from a local television station and, unknown to all, a dance critic from a major out of town newspaper.

When the music began the curtain rose, and on cue the girls began their carefully prepared dance. As the featured dancer Tammy strolled between the others with perfect timing, moving with a saucy strut and swirling her skirt. When the music segued into her solo dance she swirled around with her hands high above her head, working the castanets furiously until the finale, when she posed with one arm in the air and the other on her hip, one leg canted sexily in front of the other.

It was a magnificent performance for a high school troupe, and it eclipsed everything else that night. The audience roared their approval and came to their feet, and Tammy was overwhelmed by their response. The other girls surrounded her and they hugged each other until the curtain fell.

In the audience Matt clapped furiously and had to restrain his urge to whistle. Near the front Pam took Bob's hand and the couple smiled into each others' eyes. At that moment they knew their new daughter would be fine. She had weathered her cruel ordeal and come through with a wonderful attitude and a chance at a great life.

Meanwhile, the dance critic from the Times opened his program and circled the name of the featured dancer in the last performance. He was greatly impressed by the professionalism of that girl. She had grace and poise and a wonderful sense of timing, and he intended to mention the girl to his friend, the Dean of the university's School of Performing Arts. This was a girl who had it all, and deserving of a scholarship. Unless he was very wrong she would be dancing professionally in a few years, after she completed her training.

As he left the auditorium a picture of the girl kept flashing through his mind. Her legs long and graceful, and perfect for a dancer. "Dancer's legs," he muttered to himself as he walked to his car.

 

The End

  

  

  

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