Crossed Cousins              by: Karen Elizabeth L.

 

"As usual, you don’t have any idea what you’re talking about." My sixteen-year-old cousin Jamie told me. "Women are discriminated against routinely. You’re just too stupid and sexist to notice!"

"Discrimination is all in their minds," I laughed. "Girls at school get all kinds of breaks, plus they never have to worry about the humiliation of being turned down for a date. They do the humiliating!"

"Maybe if you looked more like a guy, you’d get more dates." She teased. "I’ll bet I’ve got more muscles than you!"

"Great, just what every guy wants in a girl, more muscles," I said laughing at her. "Most girls give up being a tomboy by the time they’re thirteen, what are you waiting for?"

I knew that Jamie hated being called a tomboy since her mom was always bugging her about growing up and being a lady. I didn’t know that they’d just had a major argument this morning which had really upset her. I found that out later, after she had knocked me down and was beating the crap out of me!

Our parents came rushing over and quickly pulled Jamie off me.

"What’s wrong with you two?" Her mom asked. "If any two people in this world should be close, it should be the two of you. Yet, all you do is argue."
My aunt was right in a way; Jamie and I shared a name, I was James, she was Jamie, we were the same age, born the same day, and were as nearly identical twins as a boy and girl could be. Her mom and my dad were twins, and through some genetic twist, and although cousins, she and I were nearly identical. Her dad had left them years ago, and my mom had died around the same time. Our parents had always been close and it always puzzled them that she and I weren’t.

"I think it’s time we get some help for you two," Dad announced. "I never thought I’d see the day when you two would actually try to hurt each other."
" He wasn’t hurting me at all," Jamie laughed. "I can take him with one hand behind my back."

"Butch!" I hissed at her.
" Pansy," She shot right back.

"That’s enough from both of you," Dad yelled. "I’ve had enough from both of you, maybe it’s time to find another way to settle you two down."

Jamie’s mom agreed and the four of us ended up talking to a woman counselor for several long, boring sessions which settled nothing.

"Face it," Jamie told me during one of our sessions. "As a guy, you can coast through life. No one expects you to have your hair done just right, your nails perfectly manicured, your shoes don’t have to match anything you’re wearing, and no one ever tells you to act like a lady!"

"Don’t give me any of that crap," I taunted. "If you acted like a lady, you’d be the one coasting. Guys would fall all over themselves to take you out, to sit near you in class, or just have you smile at them."

"If you think Jamie’s life is so easy, why don’t you try it?" The counselor asked as though asking for the time.

"I’d give anything to see that!" Jamie howled. "You could be my mom’s precious little darling, have boys pay for everything on your dates, and all the other wonderful things you mentioned. Of course, you’d have to put up with guys who want to take you out for just one reason, being treated as if you can’t think for yourself, and other fun things."

"Being a boy wouldn’t be that tough for you though," I sneered. "You’re not that much of a girl anyhow! You probably wouldn’t mind my dad’s constantly harping on you to try out for some sport or watching a football game when there’s a good movie on."

Would you two care to put up or shut up, as the saying goes?" The counselor asked. "Jamie, if you think it’s so simple, why not try being a boy? The same for you Jim, could you make it as a girl?"

"What an odd question," I found my self thinking. I figured that the counselor was trying to back us into a corner, scaring us if you will. Since I knew she was running a bluff I was quick to call it.

"I know I could make it as a girl," I quickly volunteered. "I could use the vacation from all the crap dad puts me through. Of course, poor little Jamie would never be able to handle the strain of being a boy, even for a day."

"Anything you can do, I can do better," She mocked. "And that includes being a boy!"

"Prove it," The counselor said softly. "If you can, that is."

"Of course I can’t," Jamie laughed. "But that’s the whole point of this, isn’t it. To back us into a corner and force us to get along."

The woman shook her head. "Actually, you could if you really wanted to Jamie. Same for you Jim. You two could become each other if you wanted to."

"Excuse me?" Dad interrupted. "Did I hear you right?"

"I doubt it," Aunt Janet laughed. "It would be a great idea if they could though."

"I’m serious," The woman told them. "If everyone agrees, I can make it possible for your children to switch places and live the other’s life."

"You’re not joking, are you?" Aunt Janet asked in a strange tone of voice.

"No, not at all. This highly successful program has been operational for close to ten years now. We’ve done it with brothers and sisters, friends, even husbands and wives. Once they see the other person’s life as it really is, they gain a deeper understanding and appreciation for that person."

"This is crazy," I shouted. "You can’t just go changing me into her." At least I hoped she couldn’t.

"Chicken!" Jamie called out. "Afraid you couldn’t handle it?"

I regretted saying it but I couldn’t stop myself. "Give it your best shot!" I urged the counselor.

Dad and Aunt Janet looked at each other then smiled. "How exactly would this be done?"

I was stunned to hear the counselor go into the details of how I would actually be physically changed into a girl. It all seemed so unreal but we were assured that it could be done without any problem. Since Jamie and I looked so much alike it would be simple for me to assume her life."

"I could really look like a boy?" Jamie asked in amazement. "I mean completely?"

The counselor smiled and nodded. "You two would be able to really see the other persons point of view. Jim, if you think girls have an easy life, why not give it a try? Jamie, same for you. Can you cut the mustard as a boy?"

"Piece of cake!" Jamie shouted.

"No sweat!" I added, not wanting to be outdone. Then I saw our parents smile and nod. Suddenly I felt sick, what in the world had we done?

"This was all a joke, right?" I asked. "I mean, I was just joking. You can’t possibly be serious?"

"I think it’s a wonderful idea," My aunt exclaimed. Turning to dad she continued. "Jamie can be the kind of son you wanted, she’s interested in sports and cars."

I blinked hard to hold back the tears I felt forming. "You’re getting rid of me just because I don’t like sports?" I accused dad.

"I’d never get rid of you Jim," Dad smiled. "All I’m doing is giving you a look at the other side of the fence. You know, the side where the grass is always greener."

"This could help you quite a bit Jamie," My aunt told her. "Each of you really believes that the other’s life is somehow easier, or better. I doubt you’d feel that way if you had to live that way for a while."

"How long of a while are we talking about?" Dad asked. "It seems like a lot of trouble for a few weeks."

"Minimum is one year," The counselor replied. "After the adjustment period of course."

"Adjustment?" I asked.

The counselor nodded. "Counseling in mannerisms, speech, dress, voice, then physical changes to create secondary sex characteristics. It takes several months before participants in the program are ready to assume their new gender."

"It sounds interesting," Dad commented as if he were really giving the idea some thought. "What would it cost us?"

"The program is funded by an endowment from a wealthy family whose son was unable to adjust to the demands society places on boys. He disliked sports and anything violent. His family couldn’t understand what was wrong with him, and other boys made his life so miserable that he ended up taking his own life. His parents wanted to make certain that no other family ever had to endure the heartache of losing a child over such a thing, so they set up this program to let boys and girls or men and women see what it would be like if they were the opposite sex."

I was getting sick watching dad shake his head in agreement. "Sounds like a good idea. What do you think Janet?"

"Let’s do it." My aunt said, sealing Jamie and my fates.

"I can’t wait to see you in a bikini!" Jamie teased as we left the office. "I’ll bet you’ll have the boys just drooling over your sexy little body."

"I can’t wait until you get your clocked cleaned playing football in gym class," I fired back. "It’s just a barrel of laughs when some overgrown jock with a single digit I.Q. bowls you over."

Wen we dropped Jamie and her mom off, Jamie insisted that I come inside to check out all the pretty clothes I’d soon be wearing. She took unnecessary delight in holding up some of the frilly underthings that her mom had bought for her.

"I’ll bet you can’t wait to wear these," She mocked as she held a pair of lacy panties up to my waist. "There’s a matching slip and bra to go with it by the way." She quickly pulled out the matching slip and held it to me.

I was determined not to let her win. "Nice," I commented as I took the slip and examined it carefully. "Lace trim at the hem, generous leg slit to match with different skirts."

I picked out the matching bra and began to look it over. "Good, no underwire, they can be so uncomfortable," I sighed.

"You seem to know quite a bit about lingerie Jim," Jamie chuckled. "Been wearing it long?"

"Heard more commercials than I wanted to." I shrugged. "How do you feel about hard-ons?"

Her face went pale. "You’re not serious?" She argued. "I’m not really going to…"

"Count on it," I said with a smile. "Except for getting a girl pregnant you’ll be a fully functioning boy, remember? You’re going to have your very own Mr. Happy, and those hormones you’ll be taking will give him a mind of his own."

I loved it! She obviously hadn’t been paying close attention during our counseling session and wasn’t prepared for becoming sexually aroused as a boy. Her little game of trying to upset me ended right then and there.

Our training classes started the very next week. Every day after school I went to classes to learn how to act, talk, and dress like a girl. I had to practice putting on dresses, walking in heels, sitting in a skirt, and saying things like "Isn’t that so cute?"

Once I got the hang of all of that, I’d then have to sit and watch videos of Jamie doing those things so that I could learn to do things exactly like she did them. I couldn’t even console myself, as I spent my evenings experimenting with makeup and nail polish, thinking that Jamie was busy learning how to do things like a boy. She already spent most of her time in slacks, loved sports, and knew enough about cars to shame many boys, myself included. She was probably sitting at home, feet up, watching some sort of ball game while I was stuck wearing a nightgown and panties, reading articles in Seventeen about what boys really want in a girlfriend, while waiting for my nail polish to dry.

Dad was really getting into this switching idea; as soon as I got home from school I had to change into a dress or at least a skirt and blouse that Jamie had been only too happy to lend me. My aunt had picked me up enough panties, bras, and stockings to outfit several girls and it was only after dad insisted that I moved almost all of my underwear out of my dresser to make room for the girl’s underwear I wore.

Weeks of after school classes and dressing in skirts started to have an effect on me – it was getting harder and harder to act like a boy while I was in school or on those rare occasions when I could hang out with other guys. While my buddies were checking out a girl’s boobs, butt, and legs, I found myself noticing if her skirt was an A-Line or swing style. They talked about the chances of getting into her pants, I wondered if my butt would be as big as hers. I considered becoming a hermit, staying at home and never going out again, but in a few short months Jamie would be taking my place with the guys so I had to keep a place open for her.

One Saturday my aunt announced that she was taking her new daughter shopping. Even though I had perfected feminine mannerisms and speech I begged, pleaded, cajoled, and cried not to go. Twenty minutes later I slung a purse over my shoulder and meekly followed my aunt to her car. Dad was tough enough when he insisted I do something, but combined with my aunt there was no room for discussion.

"Relax Jim, you look very cute," My aunt told me as I got into her car and frantically tugged at my skirt, which I thought was way too short. "Your skirt’s supposed to be that short, it shows off those pretty legs of yours."

"Everyone’s going to stare at me," I complained. "Is this really necessary?"

"Of course they’ll look at you," She said with a smile. "Especially the boys. You look just like any other girl your age out with her mom and they’re going to like what they see."

"But I don’t want…" I started to tell her that the last thing I wanted was a boy checking me out but she cut me short.

"Get used to it Jimmy," She told me. "You’re a girl for the rest of today and you’re going to have to act like one. If a boy’s checking you out, smile at him, it’s a compliment you know."

That was the last time she had to warn me to behave myself. Just like with dad, I knew there was no arguing with Aunt Janet so I shut up and concentrated on being a good girl.

We talked about school and the classes Jamie and I were taking afterwards. Jamie was adapting very well, my Aunt told me, and there were times when it was tough to tell that she was really a girl.

"I can’t wait until you take her place," She sighed. "I’ve always wanted a daughter who I could dress up in pretty dresses, do her hair, and guide into becoming a young lady. Things just never worked out that way with Jamie though, as soon as she was old enough to dress herself, she lost all interest in pretty outfits."

"Am I supposed to be a replacement for Jamie, Aunt Janet?" I got up the nerve to ask. "Is that why you and dad are doing this? Jamie will become Dad’s son, the one I never was, and I’ll end up as the daughter you always wanted?"

There was an awkward moment of silence. "No Jimmy, I swear that’s not what your dad and I had in mind. We honestly thought this would help you and Jamie, once the year is over, you’ll be free to go back to your old lives, I promise."

My aunt and I had been close even while mom was still alive but after mom died Aunt Janet became sort of a surrogate mother to me. She was always there if I needed someone to talk to and I can’t imagine anyone, even dad, that I was closer to than her. If she said it was all meant to help, I’d trust her.

Aunt Jan led me straight to a boutique specializing in junior’s dresses. "Since she doesn’t like wearing them, there aren’t many dresses in Jamie’s closet," She explained. "I thought you might like to pick a few of your own."

I loved her dearly but couldn’t help but wonder if she had a screw loose. My cousin was a real, honest to goodness girl, if she didn’t like wearing dresses, why would I?

"I can probably make do with Jamie’s stuff Aunt Jan," I smiled, trying to keep her from being too disappointed. "I don’t think I’m going to like dresses that much either."

"I really wish you’d think it over," She said sadly. "It would mean so much to me to finally have a daughter that wanted to be a young lady. Even if it is only for a year."

Why did she have to say something like that? I couldn’t believe the ache in my heart when I thought about how sad she must be. I wanted to tell her that I was really sorry, and didn’t mean to upset her, but I wasn’t interested in wearing dresses.

I wanted to tell her that, but I couldn’t. The words wouldn’t come out; they would have hurt that sweet lady way too much. I took a deep breath, smiled at her, and said, "I’ll give it a try, Aunt Jen."

I got a big hug and kiss for agreeing to try. Unfortunately, I also got several outfits and a gentle shove to the dressing room to try them on.

"You look so cute," Aunt Jan told me as I modeled the first outfit; a pair of lightweight black slacks and a pink top. "Those slacks show off your cute little butt and that top really hugs your curves."

I blushed at what my aunt obviously meant as a compliment. "Thanks, I guess." I nodded.

"The boys at school will be all over you when you wear this outfit."

Suddenly, I felt my stomach drop to my toes. How stupid could I have been, never considering that boys might show an interest in me as a girl?

"I never thought about that," I confessed warily. "I don’t think I could handle it if a boy was interested in me."

My aunt put her arm around me and hugged me. "We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it honey, let’s just have fun now."

Aunt Jan always seemed to have a way of calming me down and this was no different. I was back in the dressing room, trying on a dress, before I realized it.

"Just perfect sweetheart," My aunt commented as I modeled the dress. "You could wear that when you want to look just a little dressy."

I looked in the mirror and saw my cousin Jamie in a cream colored sleeveless sheath that would certainly merit a second look from any boy nearby. It fit me perfectly and I knew that in a few short months, with the changes expected to hit my body, it would fit even better. Right then, it was still just a little loose, a "Good Girl" kind of look. Once the hormones kicked in, it would be tighter and the "Good Girl" would be replaced by a hot young woman. The whole idea scared the heck out of me.

Once Aunt Jan was satisfied that I had enough new outfits we made our way to the lingerie department and once again I was loaded up with new clothes, none of which I wanted.

By the time my aunt was done with me I had a wardrobe that any fashionable teenage girl would have been proud of. All I needed to do was to work up enough courage to wear them. Aunt Jan thought she was doing me a favor when she promised that she’d do her best to help me become a happy, well dressed, young woman. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that was just the thing I feared most.

The next morning I started the female hormones and male hormone suppressants that would prepare me to switch over to girl mode. Dad smiled happily as I washed the pills down. "Aunt Jan tells me you’ve agreed to wear things that Jamie was never interested in. I think that’s very nice of you; you’ll not only learn something about girls, you’ll also make her very happy."

I shook my head. "I said I’d try dad, but I can’t promise to be a sweet daughter to Aunt Jan, it’s just not me."

Dad smiled. "I have a feeling that you’re going to make your aunt very happy Jim." He said. "Sometimes I think you and Jamie got mixed up at birth."

"What’s that supposed to mean?" I asked, feeling very upset. "I’m not good enough to be your son? Not man enough for you?"

"I never said that Jim and you know it." Dad replied angrily. "I’ve always been proud of you but sometimes it seemed as though you were meant for other things."

"Like frilly dresses and baby dolls?"

Dad stared at me until I couldn’t take it anymore.

"Fine!" I shouted angrily. "If you think I should be a girl then that’s exactly what you’ll get. I hope you like your new daughter daddy dear." I pushed away from the table and was about to leave the room when I had a better idea. With one hand on my hip and the other held out from my side, I swung my hips and walked over to where he sat. Leaning over I kissed him on the cheek as I ran my fingers through his hear.

"I love you daddy," I said in a girlish voice as I skipped out of the room.

I threw my self down on my bed and cried just as soon as I got to my room. Dad said he loved me, yet it sure seemed as though he was willing to trade me for Jamie who could be the son he wanted. Was this whole scheme something he and my aunt had planned? He’d get the sports crazed son he always wanted while she’d get the sweet girl in pretty dresses that she always wanted. I’d show him, I vowed. I’d become the sweetest daughter any man could ask for; I’d cook for him, wash clothes, keep house, and be such a good girl and by the time I left for Aunt Jan’s he’d be sorry he ever thought of his stupid little scheme!

As usual when not in school, I was wearing a pair of white shorts and a blue top Jamie had given me. Underneath, I wore a pair of white cotton panties and a plain bra, just the type of things an average girl might wear. I wasn’t going to be average though, I was going to show daddy just how right he was by becoming the kind of girl my aunt could only dream of!

I rummaged through my dresser until I found a peach colored, satin bra with matching panties and a half-slip. A pair of sheer pantyhose, medium height heels to match the brown leather skirt and peach shell, and I was ready to do my hair and makeup.

I scoured my memory for every detail I learned in my classes on being a girl; choosing my colors to compliment my outfit, even I was surprised at how good I looked. I took a curling iron to my hair, clipped on a pair of earrings, fastened a necklace around my neck, and then went to show off for my daddy.

"Is this better daddy?" I asked sweetly as I walked into the room clasping my hands in front of me. "I’m sorry I wasn’t the son you wanted, will I do as your daughter?"

"Jimmy, please don’t talk like that." Dad asked, his voice starting to break.

I glided over and kissed him on the cheek. "Do I look pretty daddy?" I pouted.

Dad shook his head and walked away. "Yes, very pretty." I heard him sob as he left the room. It served him right, I thought to myself. I tried to be a good son, I tried my hardest, but it wasn’t good enough for him.

From that day on, I did my best to be the best daughter dad could hope for. I was ultra feminine, preferring skirts, dresses, or dressy slacks instead of jeans, and I even learned to walk in high heels. Dad seemed to be having problems with it at first but he soon gave up and accepted me as the girl I was pretending to be, even calling me Jamie at my insistence.

I suppose I was so busy punishing dad that I lost track of time. One day, I was setting the table for dinner when I realized that my time as Jimmy was up. In two short days I would check into the hospital, go to sleep, and wake up as my cousin Jamie. I would move in with my aunt and spend the next year as the sweet girl I had been pretending to be to punish dad. Aunt Janet would expect me to wear dresses and skirts, nail polish and makeup, and be the kind of girl my cousin never was, the kind I had inadvertently become to upset dad – a perfect young woman.

Dad stood silently watching as I was prepped for the surgery. I wished I hadn’t been so nasty to him since our argument, I suppose that in his own way he really did love me. As the nurse began pressing down on the plunger that would send me into dreamland, I frantically motioned for dad to come over.

When he did I took his hand in mine and smiled at him. "I’m sorry dad, I love you." I said just before blacking out.

When I woke up in the recovery room a nurse was standing over me , taking my temperature. "Welcome back Jamie," She smiled. "Everything went well."

Jamie, that was me now. I’m now a sixteen-year-old girl because of some stupid argument with my cousin.

"How do you feel Jamie?" Dad’s face showed signs of worry. "Are you okay?"
" Kind of numb, I guess." I smiled up at him. "Guess I’m really Jamie now, huh?"

"Completely," Dad nodded. "I’ll still think of you as my son though."

"Thanks dad, that means so much to me." I yawned and fell back to sleep.

When I woke up again I saw Aunt Jan sitting next to the bed. "Good morning sleepyhead," She called cheerfully. "I wondered when you planned on waking up."

"I can’t believe how tired I felt." I yawned. "Where’s dad?"

"He spent the night with you, now he’s waiting for Jimmy to wake up. Seems he was pretty wasted too."

"It’s all over, right?" I asked nervously. "I’m a …"

"Yes Jamie, it’s all over. You’re a girl now." She confirmed. "And we’re going to have a great time for the next year, I promise."

I looked down at my body but the bandages covered everything.

"You’ll have them on for a couple of more days yet." She said. "You’ll be out by the end of the week."

"Did they?" I looked down to my crotch.

Aunt Jan nodded. "Tucked away for now Jamie, you can have it back in a year."

I sighed in relief. It was silly of me to worry but there had been that nagging fear that they’d give it to Jamie.

Later that afternoon, I was reading through a fashion magazine Aunt Jan had gotten me when I heard a familiar voice.

"You must be the new girl I heard about?"

That was odd, it sounded as though I was hearing myself talk I looked towards the voice and saw myself standing in the doorway.

I blinked, shook my head, and blinked again, but I was still there.

"Surprised?" The boy at the door asked.

"Jamie?"

"Jimmy," He corrected. "You’re Jamie, remember?"

"You not only look like me, you even sound like me."

"I should dummy, I am you."

"This is just so weird, it’s like looking into a mirror and listening to a recording." I just couldn’t believe how completely she’d changed. Her hair was cut short and styled exactly the way I wore mine, she stood with one arm against the wall and one foot on top of the other, mimicking my way of standing perfectly.

"You ain’t seen nothing yet," She laughed as she walked over to my bed. "Let me help you up, I want you to see something."

I was still a little weak but with her help I was able to walk over to the bathroom. She opened the door wide enough that I was staring into a full-length mirror. At least I thought I was. The problem was that I was standing next to where I thought I was and Jamie was standing where I should have been. If I raised my arm, Jamie’s reflection raised hers and if Jamie raised her arm, my reflection did the same.

"See," She exclaimed. "They really did it, we’re each other now. This is going to be so cool!"

"I hope you’re right," I said with a sense of resignation to my fate. "Otherwise we’re going to be totally messed up."

I had my bandages removed the next day and was disconnected from the bag that handled my bathroom chores. Aunt Jan gave me a pair of silky blue panties and a set of blue and white cotton PJ’s to wear.

"Would you like to see the new you now?" She asked as she helped me out of my hospital gown. I nodded, too scared to answer. She closed the door to my room and took me to the mirror.

"Close your eyes Jamie," She whispered. "Let’s make this a surprise."

I don’t know how it could be any more of a surprise to find out that I now had the body of a teenage girl but I closed my eyes and waited while my aunt helped me out of my gown and panties.

"Open your eyes Jamie," She told me when I was completely undressed. "I want you to see the young woman you’ve become."

I was speechless to see a naked teenage girl standing next to my aunt. I put my hands under my breasts and felt them. Nothing fake here, they were attached to my chest and I felt every movement of my hands as I examined them.

"Thirty four A, in case you were wondering. Exactly the same as Jamie was." I heard my aunt tell me.

"Dear God, I was a girl with a thirty four inch bustline." I thought to myself. "I’m supposed to be a sixteen year old boy but sixteen year old boys don’t need to wear bras. What am I going to do?"

As I stared into the mirror my gaze accidentally dropped to my crotch. My flat crotch with puffy lips where something else had been.

"You’ll have to sit down to use the bathroom now," Aunt Jan seemed to read my thoughts.

I hurriedly pulled on the panties she had given me, noticing that they were a much smoother fit now. Once I had on the nightgown I began to fill a little better. I still looked like a girl, there was no changing that, but at least I couldn’t see the physical changes which made me feel as though I could never go back again.

While we were recovering aunt Jan and dad gave Jamie and I each a CD player and a bunch of different CD’s to listen to. Mine were done by some of Jamie’s favorite boy band groups, nothing that I’d ever liked before but now I found myself listening carefully and relaxing.

"Why didn’t I think this group was any good?" I wondered one afternoon while I laid in bed, listening. "They have such great vocals, their music is very well arranged, and they’re not half bad to look at either."

"Not half bad to look at?" What had brought such a silly thought to my mind?

I put the thought out of my head and finished listening to the CD. When it was done I felt so happy and thought it would be great to go and visit Jimmy.

Jimmy? I meant Jamie. No, that wasn’t right, I’m Jamie.

I brushed my hair, put on a robe and some fuzzy slippers, and started off to see Jimmy.

"Hi Jim, how’re you feelin’?" I called out. He was sitting in a chair, reading some magazine about cars while listening to his CD player.

"Hi Jamie!" He answered after taking off his headphones. "You’re looking pretty good."

"Thanks." Why did I feel so happy when he said I looked good? Why did I keep thinking of her as a he, I knew he was a boy, I mean a boy.

"Uh, I’m feeling kind of strange." I admitted sheepishly. "Sort of mixed up in the head, you know?"

"What’s your name?" He asked suddenly.

"Jamie Susan Harding," I answered without hesitating. "I mean it’s Jamie. No, it’s not, it’s…, oh I give up. At least I know that I’m a girl. I mean…"

Jimmy started laughing. "Give it up, you can’t do it."

"What’s going on," I asked feeling extremely bewildered.

He picked up the CD player and tapped it with a finger. "I guess Dad and your mom forgot to mention it?"

Jim went on to explain that out parents had given us special CD’s which would help us adapt to taking each other’s place. His of course, would make him think of himself as Jimmy, a boy, while mine would make me think of myself as being Jamie, a girl.

"How come they told you abut not me?" I asked, feeling left out. "It wasn’t nice of them to trick me like this."

"I don’t know, ask your mom?" He shrugged.

"My mom?" When did I get a mom? Mine had died, no that wasn’t right, she’d been right here in the hospital with me. Right here with Uncle Joey.

"Crap, I can’t get things straight in my head. I keep thinking that I’m you, you’re me, and my mom is really my aunt."

"I should have explained it to you Jamie," Aunt Jen said as she walked in with dad. "We were worried about you and thought you could use a little help. The CD’s will help you express yourself as a girl, that way you won’t have to worry about screwing up and giving yourself away. You’ll remember all of the things you learned about being a girl and do them automatically."
" What about being my mom?"

"Would you want to call me Aunt Jan in public, when some of your friends might hear you?"

I could imagine the questions I might be asked and knew I wanted no parts of them. I could put up a fight, just like I had done with dad but what would I gain. I still knew who I was, I still had a father and an aunt that I loved, so what had been lost?

"Will I ever remember being Jimmy?" I asked, afraid of what the answer would be.

"You’ll never really forget. You won’t be able to tell anyone and after the year is up, everything will be reversed, I promised you that." Dad told me. In addition, your mom and I have special code words to use anytime we need to trigger your old memories. You’re a little confused now but when you go home with your mom, she’s going to make you forget all about being a boy."

I didn’t have the will to fight. Instead, I rushed over, threw my arms around him and Aunt Jan, and thanked them for their help.

"I’ll be a good girl," I promised.

Jimmy and I traded driver’s licenses on our last day at the hospital. It was now official, I was Jamie Susan Harding, and I had the I.D. to prove it.

I wore a cute sundress with tiny blue flowers on a white background for my trip home with mom. I couldn’t resist giving Jimmy and Uncle Joey a goodbye kiss, promising that I’d stop over to visit them as much as I could. I waved goodbye to all the wonderful nurses who had been so nice to me then followed mom to our car.

"Are you about ready to become a girl?" She asked as we pulled into our driveway.

I was in a panic. If I let her make me forget that I was a boy, I might never have the chance to go back. Once I thought of myself as a girl how could I be sure they’d let me return?

"Do I really have to mom, I’ll be good and won’t cause any trouble."

"It’s not a punishment Jamie honey," She patted my leg. "It’s just to help you fit in, that’s all."

"I’m really going to like being a girl, aren’t I? I mean, you and Uncle Joey set this up so I would."

Mom gave me a kiss. "I’m sure that you’re going to love being a girl, Jamie dear, but not because of anything your uncle or I did. Who knows, a year from now you may decide to stay as my daughter forever."

"Mom, please don’t do this to me." I burst into tears. "I really do want to see what it feels like to be a girl, but I want to know what’s happening to me too."

"But honey, it’s just to help."

"I know mom, but please, can I do it my way." I asked pleadingly. "If you agree," I added to sweeten the deal. "I’ll wear dresses and even get my hair done."

"Would you get your ears pierced?" She asked, trying to work a bargain.

"Hair, pierced ears, and a manicure." I offered. "Just don’t make me forget that I’m a boy, okay?"

"You have to keep the other memories though," She countered. "Things like your girlfriends, movies you like, groups that you enjoy, and especially me being your mom."

"I guess I can live with that, I’ll need to know that stuff anyhow."

"It’s a deal!" She agreed with glee. "Finally, the daughter I’ve always wanted."

Mom kept her part of the deal, handing me a CD once we got inside. "This will reverse you’re thinking of yourself as a girl. Of course if you don’t keep your promises I may just sneak in a suggestion to have you enter a beauty contest." She warned, only half joking.

I went to my new room and let the CD work it’s magic. I remembered that I had a girl cousin named Jamie and that we had switched places for a year. I could easily remember dad and Aunt Janet, but just as easily recall my best girlfriend and her favorite color.

I wanted to thank mom for keeping her word but wasn’t sure how to do it. Suddenly I looked inside my closet and noticed a pink dress hanging there.

It was a pretty dress; short with a V-neck, and cap sleeves, from the time I spent dressing up to upset dad, I just knew I’d look good in it. I picked out some fresh lingerie; nice feminine looking things of satin and lace, and got changed. I slid my nylon covered feet into a pair of pink pumps that I found then did my hair and makeup.

"I just wanted to say thanks mom," I said as I walked into the room where Aunt Jan sat. She had her back to me but turned as soon as she heard my voice.

"I think things will work out all right this…" Her voice trailed off when she caught sight of me.

"Jamie, you are gorgeous!" She said as she rushed over to look me over. "This is the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time. I could never get your cousin to dress like that."

"Maybe it’s just a little left over conditioning but it doesn’t feel bad at all," I started to giggle. "I thought this might be the best way to thank you."

I must have made a great impression because I got a huge hug and several kisses from mom. "Do you think you’re up to going for lunch like this?" She asked eagerly "I’d love to show off the pretty young lady my daughter has become."

"You’re such a sweetie mom," I told her as I kissed her. "But I don’t think it would be such a good idea."

I watched as her expression changed instantly from happiness to disappointment. "I understand," She said softly. "I guess I got carried away."

"I guess so," I said, trying to keep a straight face. "Anyone can see that this outfit is much to dressy for lunch. If you can hold on for a few minutes though, I think there’s a sundress that would be just right."

"You are the sweetest girl in the whole world Jamie!" Aunt Jan laughed as I hurried off to change. "I’m going to hate to give you up."

I thought about what mom had said while I changed. Had my cousin been such a snot that I could make mom this happy in one day? What was so terrible about wearing something pretty, I wondered as I unzipped my dress and stepped out of it? The clothes were very colorful, comfortable, and I did look awfully good in them, so why not make mom happy? As long as I remembered that I was really a boy, and that this was just a way for me to understand my cousin and other girls better, what could it hurt?

I had to change to a strapless bra since the sundress had spaghetti straps. I had fastened it from the front, tugged it around, and was just adjusting the cups when my hand brushed against my nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure through me.

"What in the world was that about?" I wondered. I brushed my nipple again and was again instantly rewarded. I tried the other side with the same results and was soon busy rolling my nipples between my thumb and forefinger, having a wonderful time!

I guess I lost track of the time because suddenly the door opened and mom was standing there staring at me.

"I wondered what was taking you so long?" She laughed as I struggled to get my breasts back into the cups of my bra. "Why don’t you experiment later, I’m hungry?"

I awkwardly slipped on my sundress and followed mom out to the car. "I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me." I tried to explain.

"Don’t worry, all girls go through a stage of experimenting with their bodies. It’s perfectly natural and helpful for when you get married. If you don’t know what feels good to you, how will your husband?" She explained, while I blushed furiously.

"Uh, well, I don’t think that will ever be a problem for me," I tittered. "I don’t plan on having a husband."

My aunt looked at me for a second, then it was her turn to blush. "I’m sorry, it’s just so easy to think of you as a girl. I don’t mean to insult you but you honestly fit right in, you’re so natural as a girl."

"It’s okay, Aunt Jan," I tried to ease her embarrassment with a smile. "Even if this isn’t something I would ever think of doing, I still want to get everything right, you know what I mean? I guess fitting right in as a girl is a good thing."

Aunt Jan kissed my forehead and thanked me again for being so nice.

"I could get used to being this close to someone," I found myself thinking. I never felt this way around Uncle Joey, but that was probably because I wasn’t masculine enough. I was more than enough of a girl for my mom though.

I hastily pushed the thoughts out of my mind as being way too dangerous. I was a boy, pretending to be girl, and a year from now I’d be a boy again, but only if I didn’t let thoughts like the ones I’d been having stick around.

Lunch was so good! Aunt Jan took me to a very nice place where I could order anything I wanted. I ordered the salad bar with an Iced Tea, and loaded my plate with some of the most delicious vegetables and fruit imaginable. I wished I could go there sometime with Uncle Joey but he just wasn’t into salads.

"Real men don’t eat salads," He’d say as a joke, but I always felt uncomfortable since I always loved a good salad.

My aunt and I had a wonderful lunch talking about all the latest styles and what I thought looked best. IT was a blast to check out all the women and critique their outfits. Aunt Jan and I agreed that so many women just have no idea what looks good on them.

"Look at this lady," I nudged my aunt and directed her attention to a heavyset woman who had just walked in. The woman was wearing a pair of shorts that were obviously too tight; the fat on her legs seemed to balloon out after the shorts ended and her butt seemed to go on forever.

"A loose sundress, maybe some slacks," I advised. "But she’s just way too big for shorts. At least a sundress wouldn’t emphasize her butt so much."

"You’re very observant Jamie," My aunt complimented me. "How did you develop such good fashion sense?"

"I didn’t realize I had until recently." I shrugged. "Ever since listening to those CD’s I seem to be able to remember every article in those fashion magazines you bought for me. I can look at an outfit and in my mind, I’m putting it together with the right accessories, hair style, and makeup."

"Good, the CD’s worked just the way I wanted them to." She smiled. "I wanted to enhance your memories of those things to make it easier for you to fit in as a girl."

I laughed and shook my head. "I’m glad you didn’t force me to think of my self as a girl mom, those CD’s are so effective I might have ended up getting married."

Later that day I had my first test. I was sitting around watching TV when the doorbell rang. Mom answered it and I looked up in horror as a girl walked into the room.

"Hey Jamie, you look totally hot!" She said as she admired my outfit. "I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since sixth grade."

"Hi Jill," The name, to my amazement, was right there when I needed it. I didn’t have to think for a moment, everything my cousin knew, I now knew. "Yeah, it’s the new me. I promised mom that I’d quit fighting her and try to look like a girl once in awhile."

"I hope this isn’t going to be a trend for her, Mrs. Carson." Jill told mom. "There are just too many hot looking girls out there and too few boys to go around. Your daughter’s just going to be more competition for me."

"Thanks Jill," I said in wonder. "I didn’t think I looked that good."

"You are drop dead gorgeous Jamie," Jill said as she gave me a complete once over. "Guys are gonna go nuts when they see the new you!"

"It’s just a dress," I said trying to be modest. "I’m sure they’ve seen girls in dresses before."
" But they’ve never seen a girl like you in a dress," Jill said, firm in her stand. "You’ve got great legs, a fantastic figure, and I’d kill for your boobs."

"All right, you’re making me want to throw some jeans and a comfy top on." I laughed, even though the compliments were making me giddy with delight.

"Why don’t you shows Jill some of your new outfits?" Mom suggested. "I’m sure she’d love to see them."

"Bet you butt I would!" Jill giggled . "I can’t wait to tell the other girls about seeing you in a dress, they’ll never believe me."

"She promised to get her hair done, a manicure, and pierced ears too," Mom threw in for good measure. "What do you think of that?"

"Your turning into a girl Jamie," Jill started to laugh. "What’s in it for you though?"

I smiled and winked at mom. "We worked out a little deal, if I try to make the old girl happy, she’ll go easy on me."

I had to hurry out of the room before mom swatted me for calling her an old girl.

Jill immediately latched onto the pink dress I had worn earlier. "Girl, you’ve got to model this for me. I won’t believe it’s yours unless I see you in it."

Jill seemed so sweet and nice, and I couldn’t just let her challenge me without responding so I reached back, undid the zipper on my dress and slowly stepped out of it. I was hanging the dress up when I realized that I was standing in front of another girl wearing only my bra and panties.

"Sexy!" Jill whistled before I had a chance to cover myself. "Matching bra and panties and all that lace. Do they feel as good as they look?"

I ran my hands along my satin covered butt and smiled as though in a trance. "They’re absolutely luscious," I told her. "I’ve never worn anything like this before."

Jill spent hours with me watching me try on everything in my closet from sexy shorts to the leather miniskirt mom had bought me while I was in the hospital. No matter what I wore, she told me I looked either great, fantastic, totally hot, or all of the above. With friends like this, why didn’t my cousin dress better? It certainly wasn’t because she was afraid of being laughed at.

The phone started ringing early the next morning with all of my girlfriends calling to see if it was true, was I really giving up the fight and becoming a girl. Of course, when the first girl asked me that question, it totally threw me. "How could she possibly know about the swap?" I wondered until I realized that she had talked to Jill. When my heart stopped pounding I admitted that she had gotten it right; mom and I had signed a peace treaty and I was going to be a good girl for her.

That afternoon, I answered the phone and a familiar male voice asked if I was the hot looking girl he’d been hearing about.

"Hi Jimmy, nice to hear from you." I said. "Yep, that’s me. Mom and I have declared a truce, I’m going to try to be the daughter she always wanted."

"Why, what’s in it for you?" He asked.’

"I still remember who I was," I answered. "That was really important to me so I made a deal with mom. For the next year, I'll be the kind of girl you never were."

"You didn’t have to go that far, did you?" He asked. "It’s just going to make things harder for me when we switch back."

"Sorry Jimmy," I said sweetly. "Mom’s always been very special to me and this means so much to her. It’s the least I can do for her."

"I’ll never understand girls," He laughed, before wishing me good luck and letting me talk to Uncle Joey who also wished me luck.

"Don’t forget, I love you too," He told me before hanging up. "You’re welcome back anytime."

I was in tears as I hung up the phone. How could Jimmy have been so stupid before we switched? Mom didn’t ask for much, just a daughter who would dress up and spend a little time bonding with her mom. Why was that so hard to do? Mom was such a sweetie and we were getting along like never before. It was almost like having my real mother back again. Anything I could give to my new mom would hardly match what she’s giving to me.

My girlfriends thought it was so cool that I was finally going to give up being a tomboy and become a lady. They promised mom that they’d keep an eye on me to make certain I didn’t slip back into my old ways. That involved almost daily shopping trips to check out the latest styles in every store within twenty miles of us.

I’d heard girls talk about shopping with the reverence usually reserved for religion but to me and my friends, shopping was a religious experience. We had a great time going from one store to the next, trying on ten to fifteen outfits in every store, but before we’d buy something it had to be pretty, on sale, and a perfect fit. Anything not meeting any of those three requirements would be put back on a rack to be shunned, unworthy of further attention.

The only things that marred my shopping fun were the guilty feelings I had every time I bought my self something cute. I’d pick out the most adorable shorts set, something I just knew that I’d look really hot in, take them to the counter, and then wonder why I was buying more girls’ clothes. I knew there were plenty of outfits in my closet at home, certainly enough to get me through summer. After that, I’d wear uniforms to school and probably jeans at home, especially once the weather got colder. I didn’t really need any more clothes, but they looked so good on me, and made me feel so nice when I wore them, that I couldn’t resist buying more outfits. My shopping sprees were making it harder and harder for me to want to go back to being a boy but I just couldn’t stop them.

Something that upset me most were boys; the way they looked at me at the mall, and especially when my friends and I were at the pool. I could almost feel their eyes boring into me, especially my breasts and butt. Some were pretty cool about it, giving me a glance and a smile, but others looked at me with barely concealed lust!

I was never that obvious or ignorant when I used to look at girls, I was positive about that. I’d smile and say hi to them, try to be friendly, and then maybe talk to them. It always helped to leave them smiling and happy; that way, later, when I’d ask for a date, I usually got it. These guys, who were nearly stepping on their tongues, wouldn’t have gotten anywhere with the girls I dated.

Like I said though, boys were really causing me to question what I was doing. My girlfriends would point out guys they thought to be especially promising, and we’d comment on what we liked or didn’t like about the guy. I was holding my own for several weeks, thinking of things my friends would expect me to say, when one day I checked out a guy and my heart started to race.

I started to go through my inventory of phrases, "Nice buns, lots of muscles," and so forth when I blurted out, "He makes me damp!"

"Damn, where did that come from?" I wondered before I realized that it was true. The crotch of my bikini was getting damp, even though I hadn’t been anywhere near the pool. I was getting sexually excited over another guy!

I wanted to get up and run home but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t take my eyes off that gorgeous guy with the nice bulge in his trunks. Why in God’s name was I looking at his crotch and wondering how well endowed he was?

"A guy that make you damp?" One of my friends laughed. "That’s good to know, I was beginning to worry about you."

"Not nearly as much as I’m starting to worry about myself," I thought. Looking at another guys crotch, getting all hot and bothered, what in the world was wrong with me?

"Nothing’s wrong with me," I muttered under my breath. "Nothing he couldn’t fix, I’m sure."

I was pretty badly shaken by that incident. I knew it was all pretend and that I was going to be a boy again in the future. I knew that I was having fun, learning a lot about girls, but I was sure that I wanted to go back to being a boy. I was worried though that I might just change my mind if I couldn’t stop thinking the way I did though. Boys were off limits, I was a boy, and I couldn’t go around dating other boys. No matter how cute they were and that guy at the pool certainly was cute. Broad shoulders, muscles on his arms and chest, thick, wavy, blonde hair. Drat, it happened every time I thought about that guy, my crotch was getting damp again!

I did my best to avoid any situations with guys but you know what? They’re everywhere! I mean, a girl can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a guy. I’d be minding my own business in the supermarket checkout line when the guy bagging would start up a conversation with me. I checked and never once saw a sign that said "I’m lonely, talk to me," but it had to be there somewhere, since guys seemed to feel obligated to start conversations with me. Of course, once I responded the conversation always ended up at the same place. "You know, there’s a dance Saturday night, would you be interested?"

I always turned them down but it was breaking my heart to do so. Some of these guys seemed really sweet and totally bummed out when I said "no thanks" but there were one or two others that bummed me out to refuse! None made me damp like that guy at the pool but they were… well they were cute.

Yeah, that’s right, I thought some guys were cute. A few had sort of puppy dog faces, you know, the kind of face that you immediately fall in love with. They brought out strange, maternal type feelings in me. I just sort of knew that I’d be safe with them. Others were obviously athletes, they were bigger and stronger looking than the puppies and although I couldn’t be sure that I’d be safe with them, that seemed to add to their attraction.

As the days passed I noticed my resistance to guys was getting seriously weaker. We’d talk a lot longer than before, and it was hurting me more than ever to turn down their requests for my phone number or a date. The worst part was that it wasn’t just feeling bad for their sake, I was actually starting to think that dating one or two of them might be fun!

I thought it over very carefully and made up my mind that there was just no way, no how, that I’d ever date another guy which seemed to make it much easier to relax and have a good time when a guy started to come on to me. I knew there was no chance of my giving in so I had nothing to worry about and could hold a conversation without a care.

I was waiting in line at the drugstore one day when I heard my name.

"Aren’t you Jamie from Keystone High?" The voice asked.

I turned around and there was just the most adorable pair of eyes, set in this sweet looking puppy dog type face. This guy was no threat; I knew that for a fact.

"Yeah, I was in Mr. Lowe’s class last term." I rattled off information that my cousin had supplied. I couldn’t seem to put a name to his face though; he must not have been anyone my cousin knew well at all.

"I was in Geology, third period with you," He smiled and those cute eyes of his seemed to dance. "Man, that was a tough class, wasn’t it?"

I remembered my cousin complaining about that class and how the teacher was one of the toughest graders in the whole school.

"Bet on that," I laughed. "But I don’t seem to remember you."

"Mike Louis," He smiled and held his hand out to me. He seemed so cute, totally non-threatening, and friendly, that I instinctively reached out and took his hand.

"Nice to meet you Mike," I said as my voice seemed to change tone. Usually I had a pretty much uninterested tone to my voice when I talked to guys but I was laughing and talking to this guy just like I did with mom or my girlfriends. I checked out first and for some reason decided to wait as he was getting checked out. He was making me laugh so much talking about classes and everything that I just had to wait for him!

As it turned out Mike lived near me so we walked home together, laughing and joking as though we were old friends. I felt so relaxed and at ease with Mike, and when he asked if he could take me out I said yes without thinking.

Before I could stop myself I had told a boy that I had a great time talking to him, thought he was very funny, would love to go out with him, and had given him my phone number! I swear it couldn’t have been more than ten minutes since I met him in the drugstore and he had me all wrapped up in a neat package with a pretty bow.

"We could check out that new comedy at the show this weekend," He said as he carefully folded the paper with my phone number on it and put it away. "I’ll call you later, okay?"

"Sure Mike, that would be sweet!" I waved as he walked away.

"He’s cute," Mom said as she opened the door for me.

"Too cute," I moaned as I dropped my purse on the table by the door. "I just made a big boo-boo!"

I flopped down on the couch and poured my heart out to mom about the guy at the pool and how I’d been successfully fending guys off for weeks now.

"This one was in Stealth mode," I groaned. "I never saw him coming until it was way too late!"

"Too late for what?" She asked with a sly grin. "Is my daughter growing up and noticing boys?"

"Your daughter is not only noticing boys, she has a date with the one that just walked her home." I admitted. "He knows my name, we’ll probably have classes together next term, and worst of all, he has my phone number. What am I going to do if he calls?"

"You accepted a date with the young man," Mom said calmly. "That means that you’re obligated to go out with him. He will call, and you will put on something pretty and be his date for the evening."

"But mom, he’s a guy!"

"I noticed that dear, and it was pretty obvious that he noticed you are a girl." She smiled, knowing that I’d trapped my self. "A pretty girl that seemed to be happy that he was interested in you."

"He is kinda cute, and he’s just so funny," I was forced to admit. "I never felt like I did when we were walking. He just sort of made me feel special."

"It takes a very special boy to make a girl feel that comfortable Jamie," Mom laughed. "He deserves a chance."

"But mom," I started to whine.

"No buts young lady," She insisted firmly. "You made a date with a young man and now you’re going to keep it. We’ll find something special for my baby’s first date as soon as you know where you’re going."

A movie, Saturday, I think."

"That’s easy then," Mom began to rev her engine to prepare her little girl for her first date. You have that purple, white, and green skirt in your closet. Pair it up with that sleeveless lilac top and you’re set for a casual date."

My only hope was that Mike wouldn’t call. Maybe I had said or done something to turn him off and he had only been polite in asking me for a date.

That chance was shattered into tiny pieces later that night when mom called me to the phone.

"Oh, hi Mike!" I fairly sang into the phone, unable to control myself. If I didn’t want to date this guy, was I so happy that he called? "Of course I remember you silly, it was only yesterday."

He seemed genuinely thrilled that I’d take his call; I guess other girls had blown him off in the past. "Other girls?" What was I thinking, make that just "Girls," since I wasn’t part of that group?

"Tonight? Sure, that sounds like fun, see you then!" I said as I hung up the phone. Then it hit me; he’d done it again! Busted through my defenses as though they were Styrofoam and got me to agree to go out with him even before our planned date. What a sneaky thing to do.

It wasn’t going to be anything special, just an evening at the local roller skating rink, but for some reason I felt that I had to look my best for Mike. After all, I reasoned, he was willing to spend his hard earned money on me, I should at least give him something to be proud of, right?

Mom came home to find me in my panties and bra, searching for the right outfit.

"Big date?" She teased.

I wish I had a camera to record the look on her face when I told her that Mike and I were having a pre-date, date.

"I thought you were upset about the movie, now you’re going to go skating with him?"

"He tricked me again," I pouted. "He’s just so fun to talk to and be around that I can’t seem to say no to him."

"Perish the thought that you might be just a little curious about what it feels like to be with a boy." She joked.

"Not a chance mom," I said calmly as I pulled on a pair of tight jeans. "Not curious at all."

"So the idea of a boy holding you tightly in his strong arms, running his hands through your long hair, telling you how pretty you are, doesn’t interest you?" She joked.

"N..No, it doesn’t." I stammered, trying to concentrate on getting my jeans over my hips and buttoned.

"What about when you’re only inches apart, his face is close enough to yours that you can make out the pores in his skin. He tells you that you’re the prettiest girl in the whole world, then he leans close, your lips touch, your arms go around his neck as he tightens his grip around your waist. You feel his tongue pressing against your lips; you open them and meet his tongue with yours. Suddenly you understand just what girl sees in a guy and you like it. Your breasts start to tingle, your nipples stiffen, and you have that familiar feeling of dampness again."

"It won’t work mom," I finally smiled. "I’m ready this time."

She almost fell on the floor laughing as I reached into a drawer and pulled out a box of panty liners!

"I like a girl that thinks of everything!" She said through her tears. "You’re going to let him kiss you then?"

I shuffled my feet, wrung my hands, and tried not to look at her. "If he wants to." I shrugged. "Of course, if he doesn’t try tonight, he’d better try tomorrow if he ever wants another date!"

"Go with your feelings Jamie," Mom advised. "Your only going to be a girl for a year, enjoy yourself."

"I’ll try mom," I promised. "I’ll be good, don’t worry."

"I wouldn’t think of worrying with a daughter like you," She told me as she kissed my forehead. "Good luck."

Mike was such a sweetie; he kept me laughing with his jokes until I was begging him to stop. We skated apart but side-by-side until they called for a "Couples Skate." Mike smiled at me and held out his hand, inviting me to be his partner. I should have hesitated, I’m sure I wanted to, but no, I reached out and latched onto his hand as though I were drowning and needed to be rescued. Mike’s face was dwarfed by the size of his smile as he closed his hand around mine and led me out to skate.

I was completely blown away by his skills on a pair of skates; he skated forwards, backwards, and even did a few dance steps without ever letting go of my hand. The way the other girls looked at us made me feel so proud to have Mike as my partner, it was clear that a few of them regretted passing up a chance to date him.

I learned that Mike had played Ice Hockey practically since he started walking and the in-line roller blades we wore were as comfortable to him as shoes were to me. He could seem to do anything on skates but what I really enjoyed were the times when he just held me and led me through dance steps. It seemed so romantic.

As soon as the thought popped into my head I pushed it out again. What was I thinking about? "Romantic?" Sure, if I was really a girl then this whole thing would have been so wonderful, but I was a boy and so was he, it couldn’t possibly be romantic, yet I couldn’t think of any other words to describe it.

I honestly hated to see the evening end, Mike and I were becoming such good friends, and he was a riot to be around, yet he knew how to appeal to my feminine feelings that seemed to be developing out of nowhere. As we said goodnight, I leaned forward and kissed his cheek. I mean, it seemed like a good thing to do, and girls did it all the time.

"I don’t suppose I could get one of those right here?" He teased as he tapped his finger to his lips.

I tried to hold back, honest to God I did, but one moment we were standing there, holding hands and staring into each other’s eyes and then I couldn’t stop myself; I leaned in and met his lips with mine.

"Thank you for a wonderful evening Mike," I said softly as he held me in his arms. "I can’t wait to see you again."

He lifted my face up and smiled. I didn’t need any encouragement; I met his lips and opened my mouth for his tongue.

I had a hard time sleeping that night; I kept imaging myself walking down the aisle of a church in a long white gown, wanting to hurry to be at Mike’s side so we could be married. Uncle Joey walked me down the aisle then lifted my veil as he handed me over to my future husband. We said our vows, kissed, and hurried off to our honeymoon.

Mike carried me over the threshold of our hotel room then gently lowered me onto the bed, all the while whispering what vile, depraved things he was going to do to me.

"Will you quit talking, " I purred. " I’m horny and can’t wait to get you inside of me. I may just latch on forever and never let you go."

Mike undressed me then slipped out of his clothes and into me. He pushed and pulled, teased and tormented me until I could take no more. I clamped down on his organ and held on tight as we both climaxed.

I woke up to find my hand inside my panties and one of my fingers stuck inside of my wet sticky opening. This was getting ridiculous, I couldn’t be dating other guys and having dreams of them screwing me silly, I had to do something about it.

After getting cleaned up and dressed I was having some breakfast when Mike called. I was all set to tell him that I had screwed up, would have to cancel our date, was moving to Alaska, entering a convent, anything to get out of going out with him again. As soon as I opened my mouth though, my hormones took over and I was telling him how much fun I had and how sweet it was of him to call me. My resolve went out the window; I was nothing but a giddy little girl talking to the guy she had a huge crush on.

Mike was thrilled to see me when he picked me up the night we went to the movie. He smiled, told me that I was really hot, and before I could think, he kissed me.

"You’re awfully sneaky, do you know that?" I giggled. "You could at least ask if you could have a kiss."

He had a devilish looking grin on his face. "I’m sorry Jamie, I’ll just put it back where it came from." With that, he leaned in and kissed me again.

"Now, may I have a kiss?" He asked sweetly.

A voice in my head was shouting, "Run, don’t do it!" but the voice that came out said "Certainly, since you asked so nicely."

As we kissed that little voice in my head was telling me to stop, but that feeling in my breasts and crotch wouldn’t let me. I wanted this guy to hold me and kiss me until it was time to leave. We could start up again once we got to the show.

I don’t seem to remember a thing about the movie, but I can tell you that Mike is a great kisser, has a wonderful personality, and can think of dozens of ways to sneak a kiss. By the end of the evening I was glad of two things; that I had moisturizing lipstick and that I was a girl!

I gave in a and dated a few other guys but something about Mike kept my interest and I was happy to find time for him whenever he asked. One day, my girlfriends and I were sitting around, doing our nails when one of them asked if I’d do her a big favor.

"Sure Kelly, what do you need? An outfit for a dance?"

She looked at me as if trying to decide if she should go through with asking then suddenly blurted out, "Your cousin."

"My cousin?" I asked perplexed. "What are you talking about?"

"Your cousin Jimmy," She mumbled. "I’d appreciate it if you could get me a date with him."

Of all the luck, when I was a guy I would’ve given anything to date Kelly. She was pretty, had a great looking body, and a smile that could light up a stadium. I thought she was too pretty though, that she’d never go out with a guy like me, so I never bothered to ask her out. Now, when I was stuck as her girlfriend, she wants a date with the guy I used to be!

"You want to go out with my cousin?" I tried really hard to keep from showing how shocked I was. "Jimmy?"

"I’ve had a crush on him for so long," Kelly told me. "I kept hoping that he’d ask me out but it doesn’t look like that will ever happen. I’d be so grateful if you could get me a date with him."

Talk about wanting to smash your head into a wall. Why had I been so stupid? Then I had a truly inspired thought. If I could match Jimmy up with Kelly, I’d be the one dating her once we switched back. If they kept dating, that is. All I could do was to fix them up and hope my own selfish plans worked out.

The next day I crossed my fingers and picked up the phone. What if he wasn’t as interested in Kelly as I had been? That would be crazy though, Kelly was pretty, well liked, and sought after by nearly every guy in school, Jimmy just had to be interested.

"Hi Jimmy, it’s me." I said cheerfully as soon as he answered.

"You’re not ready to switch back already, are you?" He sounded worried for some reason. "We’ve still got time yet, you can’t back out now."

I turned on the charm. "Relax, I just need a favor from my favorite cousin, that’s all."

"You want a favor from me?" He asked sarcastically. "I thought girls had it made, what could I do for you?"

I wanted to tell him what he could do with the phone, but I needed his help if I ever wanted to date Kelly.

"You remember Kelly Johnson, don’t you? An old friend of yours."

"Yeah, Kelly was always fun to hang out with, I do kind of miss her."

"She wants to date you."

"She what?" I could almost hear his head spinning.

"She asked me if I could fix her up with you," I said trying to seem altruistic. "She’s had a crush on you for the longest time."

Jimmy started to laugh. "That’s unreal, didn’t you use to have a crush on her?"

"Look Jim, we can both win here if you cooperate. Kelly’s a sweet girl and she and I have become very good friends. You’ll get a girl who’s already very interested in you until we switch back, then I can have her."

"I hope no one’s listening to this conversation," He laughed. "Even if they were, they’d just go nuts trying to figure it out."

"Can I count on you Jimmy?" I pleaded. "Please?"

"Uh yeah, I guess so," He finally responded. "Actually, I haven’t been dating, I can’t figure out how to approach a girl."

"Are you interested in girls?" I asked trying to get the upped hand by embarrassing him. "I’m surprised."

"I can’t help it," He finally admitted. "No matter how goofy it seems for me to be interested in another girl, Mr. Happy seems to have a mind of his own."

"I tried to warn you about him," I laughed. "Girls just don’t understand."

"I understand, believe me, I understand," He chuckled. "I can’t seem to look at a pretty girl without him waking up. Sometimes he wakes up before me in the morning. You should have done more to warn me."

"You didn’t bother to tell me about the leaking faucet in my pants that drips whenever a really cute guy is around, did you?"

"We goofed didn’t we Jamie?" He asked softly. "There was just so much we didn’t know about each other."

"I think we’ll be okay Jim, I’ll help you if I can."

"Thanks, maybe you can start by helping me with Kelly, I’ve never been on a date as a girl or a guy."

Our double date went off beautifully, Jimmy relaxed, and it was almost like old times with him and Kelly; at least it would have been if they could have kept their hands off each other. It was such a contrast to watch him and Kelly making out, hands roaming all over each other. Compared to them, Mike and I were like brother and sister.

Every date with Mike was just perfect; he knew how to act like a gentleman yet make me thankful that I was a girl. Of course, every night when I got home I hated myself for letting my hormones get the best of me again. I consoled myself by figuring that school would be starting soon and Mike and I wouldn’t have that much time together. Maybe we’d drift apart and I could regain my self-respect. In the meantime though, he was a great kisser!

When school started I was upset over the uniform I had to wear; a blue plaid skirt, white blouse, and blue jacket. Since I started taking female hormones I’ve had to do aerobic exercises daily to keep from putting on extra weight and I don’t mind saying that not only did I avoid the extra pounds, I developed a very eye catching figure. Now I’m stuck in this awful looking skirt and blouse that makes me look the same as every other girl in my class. I had to find some way to distinguish myself from all of the plainer looking girls in class, Mike deserved the best in his girl, and I wanted him to have it!

Yep, by the time that school started I was officially Mike’s girl. He had asked me to go steady with him and I couldn’t bring myself to refuse and lose those big, strong arms, those soft, kissable lips, and the calm, peaceful feeling I had whenever we were together. I thought about it for at least three or four seconds; I was already worrying about going back to being a boy so that wouldn’t change, all that would change was that I’d lose things that meant the world to me making it a very simple decision. I was Mike’s girl, he was my guy, and that was all that mattered.

I really had to think hard about what I could do to stand out from the other girls at school; I couldn’t adjust the hem of my skirt, that wasn’t allowed, I couldn’t wear stockings and heels, they weren’t part of the uniform, and I couldn’t wear see through blouses, I wasn’t that kind of girl.

Mom suggested that I do something with my hair. "You did promise to get your hair done, remember?"

"I’m sorry mom, I really did forget. I’ve just been so busy lately, but it is a great idea."

Mom was thrilled to make an appointment for me at her favorite salon then she and I pored through every magazine we could get our hands on to select the right style for me.

"Have I ever told you how happy you’ve made me Jamie?" She asked as we walked into the salon. "I didn’t think I’d ever take my daughter to get her hair done."

I put my arm around her and gave her a squeeze. "You’ve been the sweetest, most understanding mom in the world to me, I’m just lucky to be your daughter for awhile."

We stared at each other briefly, nothing needed to be said, we both knew it was only for a little while longer but we were both happy for what he had.

The stylist did a fantastic job on my hair, adding blonde highlights and shaping it to frame my face. I loved the way I looked and couldn’t wait to show Mike.

Every tug on my hair, every drop of shampoo dribbling down my top, and the yucky smell of chemicals was worth it when Mike saw me. He smiled, rushed over to me, and planted a big kiss on me.

"I can’t believe it Jamie," He said when he finally stopped kissing me. "How did they make you prettier than you were? They must work miracles."

Is it any wonder I thought he was the greatest boyfriend a girl could hope for? Sweet, attentive, a world champion kisser, and he knew just what to say to make me feel special. It was wonderful and horrible at the same time, it was getting harder and harder to avoid telling Mike that I loved him.

Yes, loved him, as in would do anything for him, willing to spend the rest of my life with him. Some nights I laid in bed and cried. I was falling in love, it all seemed so natural, so wonderful, but it couldn’t be happening. I was a sixteen-year-old boy, I may look like a girl and I couldn’t seem to think like a boy anymore, but I was really still a boy. I wanted to give myself to Mike, to let him do anything he wanted with me. I desperately wanted to be his wife, his lover, and if possible, the mother of his children. All he had to do was ask!

How could I do any of that when in about nine short months I’d be going back to the hospital to become Jimmy again? Would my cousin appreciate Mike the way I did? It wouldn’t be fair to expect the real Jamie to pick up where I left off, what if she didn’t hit it off with Mike?

Of course, the real problem, the one I didn’t want to admit, was that I loved being a girl! I got a kick out of wearing pretty lingerie, dresses, stockings, and heels. I was so good at doing my makeup that I could start getting ready for a date thirty minutes before Mike picked me up and still be a knockout. I enjoyed the attention I got from boys; had a great time dating, and I don’t care how goofy it seemed – I was in love with Mike!

I threw myself into being Mike’s girl; I was there for him at Hockey games, cheering him on, I learned to bake and made all kinds of treats for him, I even learned how to cook his favorite foods for when he came over to visit.

While I was throwing myself into being Mike’s girl, I also threw myself into being more of a girl for me too. I took long bubble baths to keep my skin soft and smooth, used moisturizing cream on my face to keep it looking pretty, had my hair and nails done on a regular basis, and wore nothing but satin and lace lingerie. I was having a wonderful time and couldn’t begin to dream of becoming a boy again and giving up all of that pampering! Still, the deadline loomed and soon it would be all over, or would it?

What if Jimmy felt the same way that I did? He and Kelly were going steady so it was possible. Still, I couldn’t just come out and ask him if he wanted to stay as a boy, I was afraid that he’d make fun of me.

I was snooping in Mom’s papers one day when I came upon a receipt for videos and D’s from a company called "Under Control" whose letterhead stated that they specialized in gender changing materials for males and females. That had to be the place where she and Uncle Joey got the stuff to turn me and Jimmy into each other, I thought as my heart began to pound. I looked up their web site and quickly found what I was looking for – a CD that would lock the changes that had been made to Jimmy. Once he listened to that CD, he’d no longer have any interest in being anything but a boy. Wearing skirts and heels would be as silly sounding to him as it was to any other boy.

I was so excited when I got the tape, it was everything I had hoped for – Jimmy’s favorite group, the insert was identical to a real CD, the only telltale sign was the company’s logo "UCI" in the bottom corner of the back of the jewel box case. I grabbed the keys to mom’s car and rushed over to Uncle Joey’s. I thought Jimmy might be out with Kelly and I could slip into his room and drop off the CD. Even if he was home, I’d just say that it was an early birthday gift. All I had to do was to get him to listen to it for one minute and he wouldn’t be able to turn it off until its work was complete.

Drat, Jimmy was just leaving the house when I walked up. "Hi Jimmy," I said pleasantly. "I brought you an early birthday present. I know how much you like this group so when I saw their new CD, I figured I’d get it for you."

The way Jimmy looked at me made me feel uncomfortable; could he possibly know that he was being tricked?

I felt as though an ice-cold hand had just squeezed my heart when Jimmy flipped the CD case over, his eyes went right to the UCI logo. How in the world had he known?

Just as I prepared myself for a chewing out that I would have richly deserved, Jimmy started to laugh hysterically.

"This is too much," He guffawed. "Too, too much!"

He reached into his jacked pocket and produced a CD from my favorite group. He handed it to me with the back of the case facing me, and pointed to the UCI logo. "Looks like we shop at the same music store!" He teased. "We’d better talk."

Inside we sipped sodas and had a fabulous time talking about how we had planned to trick each other into staying in our new genders. Jimmy had long ago decided that he was way happier as a boy than he could ever remember being as a girl

"I hated dressing up, having to wear frilly outfits and act like a little lady when the boys were riding around on their bikes, getting filthy dirty, and having a great time doing it." He confessed. "I cried for two whole days when I got my first period; mom thought it was so great, her little girl was growing up, I thought it was the most awful thing that could ever happen to me. When dad and your mom came up with this idea, I jumped at the chance. Even if it were only for a year, I could be the boy I had always wanted to be."

"I never really wanted to be a girl," I explained, sipping my drink. "I thought it was just Uncle Joey’s way of getting rid of me since I wasn’t interested in macho stuff. I’m glad they made us switch though; I guess I should have been a girl all along. I love the dreamy outfits, getting my hair and nails done, and dating as a girl is way different than it was as a boy."

"That’s for sure," Jimmy quickly agreed. "Kelly and I were pretty good friends way back when, but I’m seeing a side of her that I never realized existed." He looked at me kinda funny. "If I tell you something, promise me you won’t laugh?"

"Scout’s honor!" I pledged.

"You were never a scout!" Jimmy shot back,

"Just tell me dummy, I promise not to laugh." Sheesh, boys can be so dumb!

"I want to marry Kelly." He said softly. "I know it sounds crazy but I can’t help it. She’s perfect and I love her."

"Guess what, she loves you too." I was happy to tell him. "You’re all she ever talks about, there’s no one she’d rather spend her life with than you."

We broke the news to Uncle Joey and mom the next day.

"You don’t have to do this you know," Uncle Joey told me. "I wouldn’t mind you being my son, I love you."

"I know you do, Uncle Joey." I kissed him and gave him a great big hug. "But I don’t want to be your son, I want to be a girl, and someday marry Mike."

We all hugged and cried but in the end Jimmy and I won. As soon as school ends we’ll be back in the hospital to make everything official. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with Mike, as his wife, his lover, and his best friend. I’ll take good care of him and make him as happy being my husband as I can. I just know that I’ll never want for anything more as his wife.

I’m sure Jimmy and Kelly will be happy together also, I’ve never seen two people more devoted to each other and in love than they are. Someday I hope medical science will evolve enough that I can bear children, I’m sure I’d be a good mom and Mike would be the perfect dad. Of course, if it should happen that our children have trouble adjusting to their sex roles, I’ll know just what to do to help!

 

 

 

© 2001
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