A Conversation, IV          by: Anne O’Nonymous

 

"I’m coming, I’m coming, hold your horses," Mark Townsend said, walking to the front door of his apartment. Before opening the door, he inquired, "Who’s there?"

"It’s me, Jack Carlson," came a muffled reply.

"Oh!" Mark, unlocking and opening the door, remembered that his friend, Jack, was going to come over and tell him how he made out with Professor Sharp. "So, how did you do," he inquired, as Jack walked in.

"Hey, give me a chance, willya. I could use a beer, ya got any," Jack said, looking for a seat. Finally, he sat on a sofa, and said, "Did real good! Prof. said it was interesting. Well, he got ten pages of ‘interesting,’ but he wanted me to expand the area on ‘Transvestism’ and I want to find out more, too, oh great and wise one!"

Mark, leaving the room to get some beers, missed the last remark; he replied from the kitchen, "Think I can help you there."

"It would be a big help. I need a lot," Jack said, as he watched Mark come into the room, carrying two filled mugs.

"Well, this should be a start. I hope you like microbrews. I’ve been trying some for a change to the mass-brew."

"As long as it is beer, I’m not particular."

"O.K., now we can discuss this ‘Transvestism’ thing. I’ve been doing some reading and I’ve developed some ideas on the subject. Any place you want to start or just go with the flow and see where it leads."

"Go with the flow, I always say!"

"Do you remember what the Bible said about men wearing women’s clothes?"

"Yeah, but that goes both ways, doesn’t it?"

"Yes. Well, here are my thoughts. I think you know that bodily excretions were considered dirty. Feces and urine. Well, at certain times of the month, women had their period and a flow from their body, which could stain their clothes. This would make their clothing dirty, impure. Consider also that women ‘painted’ their faces, using clay mixed with certain herbs and ground-up rocks. Men didn’t! So, women were considered unclean because of that and, by extention, their clothes."

"So, you are saying that a man who wore woman’s clothing was taking on an impure garment, and thus became impure. And in that particular time and religion, there was a strong taboo against it. The impurity of the woman rubbing off on the male," Jack replied.

"Well, another thing was that in other religions in that era and area, females were the chief priestesses. Men, as religious celebrants, wore female garments. They had a belief that to worship the Goddess, you had to be female, so they either castrated themselves or dressed as females. So that could be another reason not to allow males to dress as females, the ‘Thou Shalt Have No Other Gods Before Me’ Commandment. Even today, there are places where males act as females in religious ceremonies."

"I think we touched on that before. Curious, I seem to remember something about Diana, a Moon Goddess. A 28-day period. And, I think, that’s about the same as a menstrual cycle."

Mark replied, "Think of it this way: Women have a 28-day cycle, fertility period, full moon cycle; Man always has sperm ready, sun always there."

"We’re going off the subject, but that’s interesting. So, there is this prohibition against crossdressing in the Bible. But, why! I mean, what makes a boy do that--crossdress?"

Mark sat for a moment thinking, then answered, "I’ve a theory about that, and here it is. You have heard of the Oedipus Complex, where a boy competes with his father for his mother’s love?"

"Yes, but I don’t see the connection!"

"O.K., suppose we have a family, with a male child and a female child. The boy competes with the girl for the parent’s love. He sees how the girl is dressed, how the mother and father treat her, and wants to be treated the same. If I wore those clothes, he reasons, I would be loved too. She, on the other hand, sees the male with the ‘extra’ parts, things she doesn’t have, and reasons she is missing something. She feels ‘castrated’ and lesser than the boy because he has something she’s missing. The girl wanting her father’s love reasons that the boy and father are close because of what he has and she doesn’t.

"Now, the boy wants to be loved by his parents and so he tries dressing in the girl’s clothes to get attention. He shows them how he is dressed, and his father, most likely, gets angry and yells at him, ‘Get those things off, you sissy,’ or ‘I’ll teach you a lesson you’ll never forget.’ In many cases, the clothes feel good on the boy, so nice and soft, he enjoys the sensations he gets wearing them. But they make people he loves, angry. He gets punished for wearing them. Wear female clothes equals punishment. He feels he is not loved, feelings of guilt arise, and he gets, well, depressed.

"As you can see, a vicious cycle is set up, which occurs throughout a Transvestite’s life, a series of purging . . .,"

"Hold it a minute," Jack said, taking a sip of beer, "What do you mean, purging?"

"Purging is when a TV, as they are called, throws out everything. All the clothes, makeup, books, all the nice things they’ve accumulated. It’s a period when they try to start all over again. A new beginning. Almost like a rebirth!"

"So, they can be cured!"

"If you don’t have a disease, you can’t cure it. Now, if they call it a sickness or give it some fancy ‘syndrome’ name, they can do something, they think! Now, if I may continue," Mark replied.

"By all means!"

"As I was saying, they purge and in a while, they start all over again, acquiring their clothes and undies. A cycle of clothes, guilt about the clothes, purging, depression, new clothes, feeling good. This cycle can be broken if they meet someone who accepts them."

"I seem to remember us talking about a type of punishment."

"You’re referring to ‘Petticoating’ or ‘Petticoat Punishment’ where boys are required to wear female clothes. Again, female clothes equals punishment. A boy is demoted to the status of a girl. A de-masculinization or castration. A lesser-than male. He is unworthy. All these thoughts could go through his mind."

"Am I thinking correctly when I say that this boy feels unworthy to be a male so he must be a female somehow, and, therefore, must act in the manner of a female. That is, to adopt female mannerisms, dress, and eventually marry a male, like any other female would?"

"Close enough. That’s part of it. If you look at the female as being a lesser person. Now, suppose you consider the female as a greater personage. Wouldn’t wearing her clothes elevate you in stature?"

"I would think so. You dress like her, you would be like her."

"And now, think on this: If you consider the female as an equal, what would the clothes do?"

"Well, it would send a message that I wear your clothes as you wear mine. We are equals. Oh, so TVs dress to show equality with females!"

"That’s one of the many reasons," Mark replied. "Remember what I said before, about girls reasoning that they had something missing?"

"Yeah, but what has that got to do with this?"

"She sees her brother outside playing while she is inside doing the chores with mother. He is free, she is learning to keep house. At stores, he is loose, she stays by her mother’s side. If he could be me, she thinks, I could be freer. This freedom is carried over into later life--he goes to ball games, I get stuck with housework. He, the boss, makes a mistake, I get the blame. So, when she gets a chance, she dresses him in her clothes. He then becomes not-girl, not-boy. He is a girl with an extra appendage. If he is seen by boys or girls, he is laughed at, humiliated, shamed. I think I said this before, he is not accepted by the boys or the girls. She is in control! She has ‘Cut off his Balls’ so to speak. Again, he is punished."

"Oh, yes--now I think I understand. So that’s why a strong woman is said to have ‘balls’ or be ‘Butch.’ So a man is reduced by being forced to wear female clothes. He is emasculated, and part of him removed. He is ‘vaginized’ you might say. She has cut of his ‘manhood’ and so he is partly destroyed."

"Correct. Why do you think a Domme Mistress dresses males in as feminine a dress as she can find. To emasculate him. To make him lesser than male. To destroy his masculinity, and then control him completely through humiliation, shame, derision and being laughed at."

"Doesn’t that make you stronger? You know, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."

"Killing a person only takes a few minutes. If you keep at a person over a period of hours, days, weeks, months, even years, prolonging the agony with various forms of torture, whippings, humiliation, degrading activities, how much stronger would that make him. I would dare say that he’d be only a walking shell of a thing, a non-entity with no concern as to whether he lived or died. Only he wouldn’t be able to end his life, because he would lack the courage, the means, or the ability. The walking living dead. Even a rapist has a better chance at freedom than he would. There is no way out!"

"That’s kinda strong, isn’t it?"

"Truth always hurts, my friend. But, look at it this way. Most TVs are happy that they dress, they have a loving relationship with their spouse, and they do feel equal to females. For most, their biggest concern is acceptance in society at large. They get treated like criminals, but they’re not. They get treated like they’re sick, but they aren’t. They are no threat to society, it is society that is their biggest threat!"

"So now what else is there," Jack asked. "Is there more that I could include in my paper?"

"Well, you could include a few things like fetishism, infantilism, Female Impersonators, little-girl men, male lesbians, benefits derived, etc."

"There are benefits?"

"In many cases there are! Some men find crossdressing relaxing, stress-relieving and soothing. There is something in the softness, the feel, that is calming, at least to some males. Perhaps it depresses the testosterone level, maybe in dressing they change something inside. A new personality is allowed to come out, and since this new person is not-them, they can play and not be a stuffy male with all his macho pomposity. Many even give this alternate person a feminine name, to separate themself into two personalities, a male and female."

"Isn’t that schizophrenia, a split personality?"

"No! The person knows both personalities, one male and one female, and has control over both. Most schizophrenics don’t know of their other personalities, have no control when they will appear, and each is very different. In a TV, each personality is essentially the same. The male attends board meetings, the female goes shopping. The TV is in control, the schizophrenic isn’t! It is two personalities integrated in one person, not a splitting!"

"Oh, as you said before. The masculine and feminine principals, each complementing the other. A whole person, not a split." Jack started thinking, then said, "Then maybe these other things, like that little-girl man, do something to fill in a person. It is not a perversion but something that makes a person whole by supplying his needs."

"Exactly. Each of us has needs to make us feel fulfilled. We need to feel good about ourselves, and some do that in ways that may be outside of what the society deems to be right and proper. Another guilt trip in the offering. So, who is wrong, society, that wants to maintain the status quo, or the TV, who just wants to feel good and enjoy life?"

"You got me there. Hey, look at the time. I’ve got to run. Again, thanks, looks like more sessions at the library!" Jack was up and almost at the door when he stopped, turned, and asked, "Can society learn to accept TVs and those others openly?"

Mark thought, then said, "I think it will when pigs whistle and frogs hum!"

 

 

Finis--That’s all folks, Annie O

 

© 2001
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