Conclusions

Janet L. Stickney
JanetLynn17@Hotmail.com

 

The conclusions were all wrong of course, but all I could do was sit there and listen as that pompous boss of ours stood there and spouted what he had to know was just plain trash. He lived by the supposition that all women, regardless of their skills, would always cave in to a man, and always during the times there was the slightest bit of tension. That was his credo, and not once had I ever heard or seen him move from that position. I was ashamed to sit there and have to listen to him say it, but like I said, I had no choice. Beyond shameful, virtually all of the guys and certainly all of the women that worked for this lout knew better, but he held the reins of power tightly, so unless you had another job to go to, well, you had to tolerate him.

The mutterings of the women could be heard as we filed back to our offices, irate after having to listen to another tirade about how men should be working and the women home tending the babies. The fact that almost all of the women in the meeting were single did not deter his viewpoint, and I was ashamed to say that I was a man, lest some of that anger the women had rubbed off on me. Stepping into my office, I shut the door and once again went over my resume. Tyranny is an ugly thing no matter who it is aimed at, and as I thought about what had just happened, I heard the words my father had always spoken to my brother and I.

"Women are a gift from God, and to abuse them is an abuse of yourself. They are our partners in life and love, and we must always respect them for what they do for us."

Of course, with my mother and four sisters around, he made sure that while my brother, me and himself always respected them, he also made sure that the girls did not take advantage of us. The upshot was that I grew up knowing that by respecting women, I also gave myself respect. That made listening to the crap we just went through very hard to swallow, but the money he paid was enough to make most of us think twice about leaving. Except for the women. They never stayed very long. I had just finished adding to my resume when the door opened and Beth walked in. That wasn't unusual, closing the door was.

"We girls have been talking, and we have decided that this has to stop!"

"I won't" I said laughing, "kill him, if that's what you want."

"It's not that" she answered with a grin, "and although it should be a wonderful option, no. What we have in mind is far more devious, and will be a lot more fun! Here's what we have in mind, but just listen until I'm done." Beth sat across from me, her face turning somber. "Ermantopz needs to be taught a lesson, and we, the girls I mean, have come up with a way, but in order for it to work, we need you to help us."

"Like I said" I told her, "I won't kill him, but if you have a plan that you think will work, I'll listen to it; maybe I can offer a few suggestions myself!"

"Well," Beth said, "you might want to hear what we decided before you jump in." After a short pause…"Remember what happened last fall? When we had that party and you tried to provoke him by dressing as a woman? And he didn't know who you were?"

"Oh yeah! How can I forget that night? That fool Bill had his hands all over my bottom every chance he got!" Then the light clicked on. "Oh no! Beth, you're not suggesting that I…"

"That's exactly what we are suggesting" Beth said softly, "Listen, as a man you have an advantages that we don't have! For one, you're stronger, yet you looked simply delicious at the party, and just a feminine as most girls do!" Then Beth laid it on the line. "We want you to hire in as a woman, Gerry can fix that, then we want you to lead that poor bastard in a circle! When the time it right we'll all confront him with the facts, maybe including who you really are, then force him to quit, or maybe move to another job assignment! By then he won't have any choice in the matter, and either you or Stan will get his job!"

"But" I said, "I'll lose my seniority, and all of my benefits will have to start over again, and that's if I even agreed to this crazy scheme of yours, which I don't!"

"Gerry says that she can fix that too, plus, she told me that your wages will stay the same, so you don't have to worry about that. All you have to do is tell him you're resigning, then hire back in as…what was it?…Janet? Joyce, Jill, something like that."

Nodding my head yes, I said, "Janet", then listened as Beth set out a plan that sounded audacious, but also, delicious in it's simplicity. Given my dislike for the guy, I was more than tempted to try it, but I knew from long experience that becoming a woman then doing it every day was going to be hard, a lot harder than doing it for just one night, or even a few days. Looking up at Beth, I saw her slip the paper on my desk. It was a blank job application form.

"Think about it" she said as she left, "but please, understand that everybody wants something done, including almost all of the guys. You'll have plenty of support if you do this, and who knows, maybe you'll learn to like it!"

I thought about it all day, and that night at home I opened my closet, revealing all of my dresses, skirts and so on. As a life long crossdresser I was faced with the chance of a lifetime, to work and live as a woman, which had been a dream of mine for as long as I could remember. When Beth asked me, I didn't respond like she wanted me to of course, but there wasn't any doubt in my mind, none at all. I wanted to do it. The job paid well and I liked my job, but if I did what the girls wanted and it went badly, I would be out on my butt, there wasn't much question about that. Ermantopz was entrenched, so any effort to remove him would have to work or we were all going to lose, especially me. But I was sitting on three other standing job offers, which meant that if I was fired, I would be working again the next day, so how could I refuse? It was plainly obvious that I was going to have to put Ermantopz in his place so hard that his teeth would hurt, or take one of the other jobs. Knowing all that, I went to my kitchen and called Gerry at home, told her I would do it, then made sure that she would have everything ready. Then I went in the bath and started to get ready. Removing all traces of excess hair didn't really take that long because once I was out on my own I had managed to remain virtually hairless all of the time.

I had started going out as a teenager, always buying my own clothes since I was an only child, and mom was way to small to borrow anything from. I had plenty of close calls, but I was never caught, and over time began to get not only better, but gained plenty of confidence, so much so that when I was 16, I had started trying on clothes before I bought them, right in the stores, then storing them in a trunk in my bedroom. When I went off to college I took everything with me of course, and had even attended a few of the larger classes as a girl, all without any problem. But when it came time to graduate and find a job, I had to be myself, which wasn't so bad, considering that I could go out every weekend if I wanted to, which I usually did. The few weekends that I couldn't become a woman, I would go visit my mother, spend the weekend with her, do a few chores for her, then she and I would go out for dinner. I never considered that she might know about Janet, since she had never brought it up when I lived at home, so I blithely went about my life as if all was well. I had not been able to get out for almost two weeks when the party Beth mentioned came up, and as joke, I went dressed, making sure that I left some things undone so most anyone would know who I was, and most did, except Ermantopz.

As I rubbed in the lotion to make my skin softer I thought about him. Not what most people would call tall, he was still three full inches taller than me, and outweighed me by almost double! His manner of talking to people left anyone that had contact with him in a state of shock since he was always severely blunt, which can be a good thing when used correctly, but more often than not he simply tore into people without mercy, regardless if they were right or not, but he was especially hard on the women. He made it plain that he thought that women did not belong in the workplace and made every effort to make them feel uncomfortable enough to leave, all without what you could call sexual harassment. The guys that he didn't like also took it on the chin, but he never made them feel like they had to leave, only abused. The rumor was that he had something on the owner of the company, which is why he had been promoted and had never been told to repair his ways, so, as loathsome as he was, the only way to get rid of him would be to set him up for failure, then make sure he did just that, which is what I planned to do.

Having experienced what women feel like around men that feel women are simply for pleasure, I didn't have the slightest bit of worry about what was going to happen to Ermantopz, my only concern was being able to become a woman every day without being caught. Slipping on the nightgown and letting it slide over my smooth hairless body gave me a thrill, knowing that I was about to embark on a very risky, yet certainly, an emotionally fulfilling task. I set the alarm and went to bed, drifting off wondering once again if I were good enough. From experience I knew that doubt was good, because it would drive me to do my very best, so I embraced my doubts even as I fell asleep.

Up early, I selected what I was going to wear with great care. As a new hire, Ermantopz would know very little about me, but since Gerry had power over all hiring, she was outside of his authority, which is why I knew that I would be doing the same job, for the same money. That alone would make him sputter a bit and to my advantage, put him on edge, and to send him further along that path, I had to make him think that he could come on to me. It was essential that he at least tried, or this would all be for nothing, and as I pulled out the skirt I knew that I would have his attention within a few hours. Sheer to the waist pantyhose with just the right padding gave me a very nicely proportioned look, my bra grasped the small mounds on my chest and made mountains out of them, especially after I used the small silicone pads to fill out the rest of the way. Doing my makeup was easy, and I was done in a few minutes. My hair went just the way it always did, into a moderate pageboy, which it always did unless I really spritzed it with spray. The gray silk blouse to contrast the burgundy skirt, then the jacket to complete the suit. Earrings and perfume, gray heels and red lipstick, then I put everything in my purse and took one last look. I was ready.

Something told me as I walked out of my condo that I might not be able to ever return to being a man again, but the way Ermantopz demeaned people had bothered me long before that point, so I simply forgot about what might lay ahead and drove to work, prepared for the worst yet hoping for the best. I knew I looked good, and I also knew that unless someone was very astute or I got stupid, I would not be found out; yet the remains of my fears from when I first started going out kept reminding me that I was a guy in a dress, and to be very careful. As planned, I went straight to Gerry's office when I walked in, closing the door as she looked up at me.

"Yes?" she asked, "Can I help you miss?"

"I should hope so" I said in my normal voice, then changing the pitch to be more feminine. "I'm here to apply for my old job. My name is Janet Lynn."

Well, after her eyes regained their normal dilation, she smiled and together we filled out the paperwork.

"I'll have a new sign" Gerry said, "on your office door by lunch Janet." Then…."Damn you look good! How do you…no! Don't tell me Janet, I don't think I want to know! All it'll do is make me feel bad!" She made a motion and I sat across from her. "I told him that you had resigned, then told him I was hiring you. I didn't tell him your name because I didn't know it, and I certainly didn't tell him you're a woman! But he was impressed with what I did tell him of your resume, but, like I said, he does not know you're a woman. Come on, let me introduce you around."

"That's fine Gerry" I told her, "but as far as I know, only you, Beth, and I know what's going on, so lets keep it that way. Unless someone guesses, and even if they do, as far as you're concerned, I am a woman named Janet, is that okay with you?"

Gerry quickly agreed, complimenting me when she told me that she doubted anyone would believe I wasn't a woman, even if she told them! As we walked around and I was introduced, only Beth gave me a funny look, but everyone else seemed to accept me as the woman I appeared to be. Then, at last, she took me to meet Bill. The minute his eyes landed on me I knew what a mouse must feel like when a cat is around. Greedy eyes that devoured me from head to toe while he did everything but slobber on his shoe. His particular smell was a mixture of skin lotion, hair gel and sweat, which I found repulsive enough as it was, but when he took my hand in his, it wasn't to shake, it was merely to hold my hand! I pulled away after a moment, then, before we left his office…

"Are you married Janet?" he asked smoothly.

"No" I told him, "not yet."

"Why is that?" He was quickly getting on my nerves.

"That" I told him sourly, "is none of your business! As long as I do my work here, I fail to see that my personal life is any of your business!"

"Don't get your panties in an uproar" he said, "I was just wondering why a pretty girl like you isn't married."

"You misunderstand me" I said sweetly, "so let me make this clear. My panties are not in an uproar as you put it, and what I do on my time is my business, so if you don't mind, please do not talk to me as if I am some teenage girl, I am a woman! I'm not your sweetie, honey, babe, sweetheart, or baby either. You assign the work and I'll get it done, and anything beyond that is my business." Adding sugar in my voice, "Is there anything that we don't understand?"

"Gerry will show your office" he said with a hint of anger in his voice.

Once I was in my office I picked up right where I left off and was able to get quite a bit done because everyone left me alone. Wearing heels and pantyhose felt so good, and the skirt felt naturally comfortable, as if I should have worn one all along, but I put aside those thoughts and stayed working until coffee time when Beth stuck her head in and invited me to join her and the other girls. Since nobody but the three of us knew I wasn't a woman, the other women in the office quickly adopted me into their ranks, then began to tell me all about our esteemed leader, and his attitude about women working. Their animosity towards him, so palpable that you might have thought you could see it in the air, was only the first of many signs that I had severely underestimated just how much he was disliked. When I went back to my office Ermantopz was there.

"Have we met before" he asked me without preamble. "I'm sure that we have, I just can't place it."

"If we had" I answered tartly, "I too have forgotten it, but I doubt it, why?"

He grinned at me, then…"We started off on the wrong foot this morning, and I was wondering if you would let me take you to dinner tonight? Sort of an apology."

"I'm terribly sorry Bill, but I can't. I don't date people I work with. It's a bad policy and doesn't set a very good example, does it? I mean, if I were to be promoted, what would people think? That I slept with you? I can't have that, can I?"

"No" he said sourly, "I can see your point. But, and you should understand this right up front, we don't usually promote women into the higher ranks because most women get married, have kids, then take a lot of time off, and generally cannot be here to do the job once that happens. You see my point don't you?"

"Oh yes" I told him, "You hide behind the excuse of marriage to hinder promotions for women. That's clear enough, but of course, you know that's against the law, don't you?"

"I run this office my way lady, and if you don't like it, you can quit!"

"Oh" I said, "I can't do that! Just think of all the fun we're going to have, you and I!"

After he stomped back to his office I carefully checked the tape recorder, replaced the tape, then labeled the one I had removed and put it in my purse, along with the one I had made when I met him that morning in his office. I have always had a small, but always in plain view, sign in my office that says that "recordings may be made to insure accuracy", so I was perfectly legal in making that tape, and planned on making many more, all in my effort to remove Ermantopz. I went back to work, staying in my office all day, only leaving as everyone else did. I couldn't give him the slightest opportunity to fire me, so I followed the rules exactly. By the time I got home I was ecstatic that I had managed to meet everyone and convince them I was a woman, and as I went in to change, I thought about how easy it was going to be when I dropped the hammer on Ermantopz. Wearing shorts and a top I started to make a small dinner. As the meat slid into the oven, the doorbell rang, and without a thought I went to answer the door.

Opening the door…"Hi there!" he said with a grin, "I live across the street. My name is Ben. I saw you leave this morning, and knew that I just had to meet you!"

"Hi, I'm Janet. Just move in?"

"Yesterday" he said, "I got transferred out here to look into a few things for the company."

"Well", I said, "nice to meet you Ben, and I'd like to talk more but I have dinner in the oven."

"Married?" he asked sullenly.

"No, just…hopeful"

"I'll let you get back to your dinner then Janet, maybe I'll see you again later?"

"I'll look forward to it" I said as he walked away.

Ben had never seen me as a man, so he thought I was a woman, which was okay, but would make it a lot harder for me when and if I decided to return to being man. I finished dinner and was washing the dishes when the doorbell rang again! Thinking it was Ben again, I went to the door and yanked it open, but it wasn't Ben standing there! My mother stood there with her eyes wide open as she stared at me for a moment.

"Can I come in?" she asked, her eyes never leaving me.

I let mom inside, just as surprised to see her as she was to see me dressed as a woman! "Hi mom."

"Hello…Janet." I was shocked that she knew my name, and it must have shown on my face. As mom put her purse down and sat on the couch…"I always suspected something when you were…younger, but when I found that school ID on the computer, well, I was sure. You were always discrete that I let it go, but…what's going on? Are you living as a woman now?" I flopped into a chair, and with a sigh, told my mom what was going on and why, then how I planned on making things right at work by becoming a woman. She listened carefully, then…

"I thought I would surprise you with a visit, maybe stay a week or so, but…"

"You're always welcome here mom, but as you can see…"

"Yes, I know" she said, "you're living and working as a woman and can't change that."

"Right. If that bothers you…"

"No dear, it doesn't bother me. You're all grown up now and can make these kind of decisions yourself, it's just that I finally get to meet the girl that had her ID on the computer. Looking at you I'm wondering why we never talked about this? I thought that we were closer than that."

"How could I mom!? With dad gone I knew that you wanted me to be the man of the house, and I was, but I had this girl running around inside of me, and once in a while she just had to get out! But how could I tell you that? What would you have done? Send me to a shrink? Ground me?"

"No dear, I would not have done any of those things, at least I hope not" mom said with a sad tone in her voice. "But I think that I would have liked to have known you when you were a teenager. Who knows, we might have been able to have a lot of fun together."

"So…? You're not angry with me?"

"No dear" mom said, "I'm glad that you finally found the courage to be the person you obviously wanted to be."

"Let's get you settled in then" I told her, and went to the car to get her luggage.

Ben saw me, waved, then watched as mom and I took her things inside and helped mom unpack. That night we had a very long talk about my liking to be a woman so much, which is when I told her that I might not give it up, ever. Her reaction was not what I expected. When she told me that if becoming a woman was what I wanted, then I might as well get started on it and quit wearing so much padding! That night I thought about what she had said, not telling her that when I was in high school I had taken her hormone pills I had "borrowed" from my mother for almost a year, growing small but definite breasts of my own. They had always been small enough that I could easily hide them, and since I always wore a loose shirt, nobody else knew either. When I was a teenager, the size of my breasts, with just a bit of padding was just right, but now that I was older, I knew that they were too small. I only lacked the courage to start on the hormones again. I once again had a reason, and made a mental note to call my doctor the next day.

I wore a tan skirt with a pink pullover top the next day, leaving the coffee on for mom as I left for the office. I walked in with Gerry, who told me that Bill was so angry with me that he was ready to explode! That told me that I was on the right track, but I never saw him that day, and simply did my work without incident. On the way home I stopped to see my doctor, and after I told him what was going on and a short physical, he prescribe what I needed and I went home. Mom had dinner almost done, so I set the table, and after we washed up she suggested that we hit the mall, telling me that I needed new lingerie and a few more dresses and skirt and blouse outfits, especially as I was working as a woman! It was plain that mom had gone through my things, or else she would not have known about the sad state of my clothing and lack thereof. Not one to stare a gift horse in the mouth, I took her up on her offer, knowing that her experience as a woman would help me a lot buying clothes. I knew that I had to replace my old stuff, but before this there wasn't any really pressing reason, so I bought new panties, several bras, a panty girdle, new nightgowns, and slippers, plus three skirts, three dresses and a couple of pairs of slacks and some shorts before we went home. The whole time we were shopping mom made lots of suggestions, "buy this" or "ignore those", and "those are uncomfortable" as we went from department to department, and I knew that I was right. Mom helped a lot.

The next day was like the one before it, and the day after that as well, but on Friday we were all called into the conference room, all of us notified by e-mail. Since nobody knew what was going on, we had no clue as to the firestorm that we all thought was about to erupt. Everyone knew about my provoking Ermantopz, so most everyone expected the meeting to be all about me in some way. But the minute I walked into the room I knew something was different, Bill was nowhere to be seen, but standing right up front, plain as day, was Ben! Once we were all seated…

"Good morning everyone" he started out, "my name is Ben, and I'm from headquarters. I've been sent here because we are aware of some problems that have reduced your effectiveness. As you can see, Mr. Ermantopz is not here today. He has decided to take an extended vacation prior to his retirement, so I will be staying for a while, using his office while I review everyone records with an eye to possibly promoting someone from this office to his job. If any of you have questions, please feel free to stop by my office at any time."

The murmur of voices grew stronger until…

"You don't have to go through all of the files" someone said, "we all know that there are only two candidates, Janet and Stan, and my vote is for Janet!"

There was a swell of voices, both for and against me until Ben held up his hand. "Okay then, since you all feel so strongly about these two I'll talk to each of them before I make my decision."

My goose was cooked, long past well done, because once he saw my files he would know that I was a man! On the way out of the room Gerry took my arm and steered me to her office, telling me that she had heard from a friend at headquarters that this might happen, so she had changed all of my records to reflect that I had always been there as a woman!

"They may have duplicate records Janet, but I doubt they'll check those, so just be cool. All of the women are rooting for you, so do your best!"

I was called into Ben's office about an hour later, watching Stan leave as I walked down the hallway. I knocked then opened the door and walked in. Ben almost jumped straight up when he saw me, realizing that I was his neighbor.

"You have an impressive record Janet, but it doesn't exactly fit into what we heard about the way Bill ran the office. Care to tell me about it?"

I sat there a moment, unable to make up my mind, then I said, "Ermantopz didn't have a choice did he? Someone made a formal complaint, and you did your homework. If that's true, then you have someone from your staff working here already, feeding you information about everyone here, including me. Ermantopz wasn't the kind of guy to just quit, so that's why he…retired? So," I said sitting back in the chair, "that means that you have inside information on each of us, including me. How am I doing? Am I close?"

"Nobody" he said, "ever told me you were stupid Janet, however, our records show that we had an employee with the same last name in the same job prior to your being here, and by all accounts, you were able to jump right in and get the job done, all without any help. Because I am naturally curious I did a little checking, and guess what? Both you and the guy you replaced have the same Social number! Now, either the government made a serious mistake, or you are the same person! Care to tell me what the hell is going on here?"

Since he had already figured it out, I sat back and told him what the entire staff had planned for Mr. Ermantopz and my part in the scheme, which also explained why I was working as a woman. Then I told him that I had no intention of returning to work as a male, preferring to remain working as a female. He listened carefully, laughing as I described what Bill would have experienced had I been able to carry out the scheme. "Audacious" he called it, but when he leaned forward with his elbows on the desk and looked at me, I didn't think he was worried about some scheme, not by the way he was looking at me.

"How about dinner tomorrow night? A nice place, dressy" he said, "bring your…mother along. I'm safe enough I guess, I haven't bit a woman on the first date in a long time!"

Laughing, I agreed, but warned him as well. "You might not bite, but my mother might, so be careful Ben!"

"I'll let you know about the promotion later this morning, but right now, after all of the turmoil that Ermantopz caused, I think I'll have to name a woman to the post or face a revolt!"

"What about Stan?" I asked, "He's been here a long time, and certainly deserves a promotion."

"He will be moving to headquarters Janet. The choice is actually between you and one other woman. Stan never figured into any promotion here. I'll tell you that much right now, but you'll know before lunch in any case. We can't have this hanging over everyone very long."

I went back to my office, passing Gerry who was obviously on her way to talk to Ben, and just as obvious, she was the other female he had mentioned. Later, about twenty minutes I guess, I heard the knock then saw her as she walked into my office and sat down on the sofa.

"That was an interesting conversation I just had" Gerry said quietly.

"How's that?"

"He interviewed me for Bill's job!"

"So? Maybe he thinks you’re the best qualified!"

"I turned him down Janet. I'm pregnant, and when the baby is born I plan to stay at home! I can't take that job! Besides, I told him you were the best qualified, and if he didn't give you the job we would all quit on him!"

"Pregnant? When? How come you didn't tell me?"

"I wasn't" Gerry said, "going to say anything until I started to show Janet. I've already had three miscarriages, so why get everyone excited for me when I might…"

"I understand" I told her, "but with day care…"

"If I have a baby I'm staying home to raise it Janet, just take the job and give them hell! You deserve that job no matter what you wear, and I think that Ben knew that before he got here! He didn't say it right out, but he alluded to it. I also think he's got an eye for you."

"He knows that I'm not a woman Gerry, I told him as much, so nothing is likely to happen between us."

"I'm not so sure Janet. He sees you as a woman, not a guy, and guys looking at women don't think like we do, so be careful or you might change your mind!"

As the day went on a lot of people stopped in to congratulate me on my promotion, and while I was thrilled to get it, I simply could not get the idea that Ben wanted to take me to dinner, knowing full well that I wasn't a female. By the time I got home I was wound up, and when I went in, mom was right there, waiting for me. I told her that I got the promotion and all of the circumstances surrounding it, including the fact that Ben had invited both of us out to dinner with him. In her calm voice, she quietly pointed out that I could return to being a man again, if I wanted to.

"But that isn't the case is it?" Mom asked me. "You don't want to be anything but a woman, right?"

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"Like the nose on your face" mom told me. "I think I knew that the moment I first laid eyes on you when I got here the other day. The way you looked, how natural you acted, and having seen how you dress for work, well, there wasn't anything to deny what I saw! I can't say that I'm overjoyed with your choice, but I have to admit that you look very nice, and obviously, since you have been doing this for a very long time, you know what's in your heart and what is right for you." Sitting back in her chair, "Janet, honey, are you sure about this?"

"Mom, I think that you should know that when I was in high school I had been taking your pills."

"What pills?"

"The ones the doctor gave you for the hot flashes. They were estrogen, and I took them to make me more feminine."

"Did they work?" mom asked me a little shocked.

"Of course" I said with a grin, "by the time I graduated from high school I had a full A cup breast and slightly wider hips and no body hair!"

"I never" mom said, "realized…is that why your beard is so light?"

"I'm guessing, but yes, I think so."

"You better get changed mom. Ben will be here soon."

"I think I'll set this one out Janet. You go, have a nice time, and tell me all about it when you get home…hopefully tonight."

"Mother!" I said with a grin.

I went in my room and put on the black sheath, touched up my makeup then changed shoes and was ready about the time Ben appeared at my front door. I let him in, introduced mom, who embarrassed me when she reminded him that she expected me to come home that night! I felt like a teenager when she said that, but Ben laughed, then we left in his car. He took me to a nice Italian restaurant, and as we sat waiting for the meal, he asked me more about my status, specifically how far along I was in my transition. While I didn't lie to him, I held back a little, unsure why he wanted to know.

"The reason I ask is that my sister has a friend, Betty I think her name is, and she went through the same thing. Her real name was…Doug I think. Now, if you didn't know, you never would! She's gorgeous!"

"I started in high school" I told him, "but I put it aside when I graduated from college. I had to work, and all of my documents were for a guy, so…"

"But you're back on the program now?"

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"Because" he said as he put his hand over mine, "you are quite beautiful, and I want to get to know you better, a lot better, but…"

"You want to know if it's worth the effort."

"Exactly" he said.

That made me angry, and told him as much. "Making a new friend is always worth the effort Ben, but if you can't see that, maybe you had better take me home!"

"Whoa!" Ben said quickly, "That's not how I meant that Janet, What I mean is, since you stopped once, will you do that again? Or can I keep asking you out! You're attractive, intelligent, and quite able to speak your mind, plus you're willing to take chances, and you're certainly willing to stand up for your co-workers! Those are all traits that I find appealing, and you have them all!"

I settled down as Ben explained himself, but I let him dangle for a bit, enjoying the power I had over him and his libido before I put a smile on my face and forgave him. Of course, when he dropped me off I kissed him goodnight, and the next day he was gone, returning to his own job. Mom stayed a while longer and I went back to work. Once the furor surrounding Ermantopz was gone, the office settled down, our productivity rose almost 300 percent! I began in a program, and within a few months I had removed the last traces of a beard and my body started to reacting to the drugs. Because I still had the remnants of my previous attempts with hormones, my body began to change rather quickly, and after three months I was able to fill my bras all on my own without help at all!

Ben flew in a few times, to check on my work he said, but we always spent our off hours together, and it was during one of those dates that his hand found its way into my bra. Having him touch me like that was like nothing else I had ever experienced and sent chills down my back as I valiantly fought with myself to not go any further, and maybe find myself doing things I wasn't ready to for. Becoming a woman changed the way things were at work, some of my male buddies became more distant, while I grew closer to many of the women. The guys, the ones that were married stayed away so that their wives wouldn't get some crazy ideas, while some just could not understand why a man would want to be a woman. Other than the way I dressed, nothing else changed. Mom and I talked on the phone quite a bit, and as the holiday season grew closer, she asked me to come home. Then she asked me if maybe Ben would like to come also! Asking Ben to join us for the holidays would certainly send a message, which was that mom and I wanted him to become a closer part of our small family! I liked him, and he liked me, and we had even spent time necking as some call it, but if I asked him to join us, I was sure that I knew what would happen.

I had to consider my status, and regardless of what Ben thought, I could not satisfy him like a woman could. I could do things for him, but would I? Then, if he and I got together, how could I ever be promoted again? It would look like favoritism, which is how this all started in the first place! I called mom, ready to tell her no, but once again, she poked holes in my theory.

"I can't ask Ben to join us mother, he'll think…"

"That he means more to us than just a friend?"

"Well, sure! I mean, we've dated a bit, so…"

"Stop that! Now you listen to me! Every time we talk, all you can talk about is Ben this or Ben that, how much fun you two always have together, and what a nice guy he is! Don't you think it's time that you made up your mind? Are you a woman, or are you still a man in a dress? If you're a woman, and you like him well enough, then you have to cast that net and catch him! It's clear, at least to me, that you two belong together! Don't you see it? He already knows all about you, yet you tell me he calls you at least twice a week, and he comes to see you every weekend! How much plainer does it have to get for you? Now, I want you to call him and ask him to join us! You're 24 years old honey. You don't want to be an old maid do you?"

After that harangue, I thought about what mom asked me. Was I a woman or still a guy in a dress? I knew that I was a woman, but after what mom said, I knew that I was not acting like one. Picking up the phone I called him, and asked him to join mom and I for the holidays. I knew he had a sister and a brother, but he didn't talk about them much, so I had no idea if her visited them or not. When he enthusiastically said that he would love to join us, I realized that I wanted to not only be a woman, but his woman. It hit me like a ton of bricks, awakening me from the self induced fairy tale I had been in. He was one of the good guys, and I was pretty sure that he was in love with me, so as soon as I hung up the phone I left for the mall. I was going to make sure.

Ben and I arrived at mom's, all of the usual decorations up and the house smelling like fresh bread and warm cakes. Mom had moved into the small bedroom giving me hers and Ben the one next to mine. That night we had a wonderful dinner, and Ben looked happier than I had ever seen him. Mom treated him like her own, and while we were doing the dishes, she reminded me with a smile that it was time to throw the net. As I started to walk through to the familyroom…

"I'm going over to visit with Millie. I'll be gone until about midnight honey, so make sure that the house is locked up." Then she grinned at me and winked!

As I passed through the familyroom, I told Ben that I was going to change. Taking my time, I slipped out of my clothes and into my personal present to Ben, the white satin and lace teddy. I made sure the laces were loose enough to cause concern, then slipped on my robe, ready to go down and entice him, when I heard him in his room. Since the bath connected to both rooms, I went through the bath, cracked open the door to his room, saw that he was unpacking, and let the door swing open. When he turned, I let my robe fall to the floor.

Being a woman is more than being a sex object, it's about loving someone more than yourself, then giving yourself to them without hesitation. With no pause on my part I became as complete a woman as I could, and did not return to my own bed that night.

 

 

 

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© 2002 by Janet Stickney. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.
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