Chatham Prep School             by: Rachel Ann Cooper          © 1999 All rights reserved

 

As I approached the grounds I hoped to be keeping, I couldn’t help notice the age and ornateness of the place. There were a lot of flower beds along the walkways, all well kept with cedar chips. The campus looked extremely well kept up especially with dozens of annual and perennial flowers in the beds along the red brick walls and I wondered how many guys they had looking after it. As nice as it was, surely there had to be more than one. The place was all marble, stone, brick and perfect grass. I parked the car in a visitor’s slot and walked up to the administration building where I had an appointment with the personnel administrator, Mrs. Penn.

I was ushered in by her very attractive secretary. Her office was lined with books and well appointed with a large oval dark oak desk. Mrs. Penn sat in a well padded chair, arising to greet me... We shook hands and she bade me sit and she sat also.

"Well, Mr. Walker, I see you are looking for employment. What brings you to Chatham Hall?" "Your ad for a grounds keeper Ma’am."

"Have you any experience in that line young man?" "Only at home Mrs. Penn but I am familiar with most of the tools." "I’m sure that’s true but are you also familiar with tractors and power take offs, fertilizing and weed and pest control and would you be able to lift various heavy machinery involved as well as drive a forklift on occasion?" "Oh. Well, I don’t know Ma’am. As you see, I’m a bit on the slight side." "Mr. Walker, ...may I call you Eric?" "Sure." "Well Eric, I think your stature MAY be a little slight for that position. Now, now, don’t look so crestfallen. We have another position that we haven’t advertised and you may be well suited to it as I see your academic record isn’t too bad. Tell me, why aren’t you going on to college?"

"My folks simply can’t afford it and my grades aren’t quite good enough for a scholarship I’m afraid, so I thought I would take a job for a couple years and try to save up enough to get started." "I see. In that case this other job may be just perfect for you. How would you like to be a teacher’s assistant?" "I don’t know. What are the duties and the pay?"

"The duties are to assist the instructor as necessary, distributing and collecting test papers, grading them when the teacher’s load is too great, monitoring behavior, running errands for the instructor etcetera. The pay is about the same but the work is much easier and more suited to your physique and there would be the side benefit of being able to learn the subject material which would benefit you when you are able to move to college. How does that sound?"

"It sounds great Mrs. Penn. When do I start?" "Right away if you like, but there are a couple rules, call them suggestions because we don’t absolutely insist. It’s up to you and we would prefer you do it our way for your own safety but the final decision is up to you." "I don’t understand." "Well, the male staff all wear these tiny ear plugs for one thing. They are very tiny and we find them helpful in blocking out unwanted noise and distractions. They don’t filter out speech but they do filter out music and other distractions like loud noises. The other is that we would prefer you ate in the teacher’s lounge but you may eat with the students if you strike up a friendship or are more comfortable there or you even may take your meals off campus. Just be aware that everything you do here bears a consequence of some sort but the choice is always yours to make."

"Fine Mrs. Penn. I’ll try the ear plugs and eat with the instructors for a while." "Are you aware that room and board are included with our positions?" "No, I wasn’t." "Well, sometimes the hours are long and the work demanding so we will provide you quarters on campus and would actually prefer that you stay. You may go home on weekends of course." "That would be fine." "Well Eric, I think that concludes our interview. Consider yourself hired as a teacher’s assistant and take the rest of the day to go home and get your things and come back and settle in. Laura, the lovely young lady you just met, will get you settled in when you return. Oh, and the salary is $350 a week to start. I think you’ll find that adequate." "Thank you Mrs. Penn. I’ll be back in an hour or two."

To say that I was elated would be the height of understatement. As I drove home, a mere 30 minute drive, I was singing along with the radio, easy listening songs. I’m not crazy about rock ‘n roll. Imagine, a teacher’s assistant at a prep school and I’d be learning at the same time. This is GREAT. Wait ‘till I tell Mom and Dad.

Paint in extreme elation here :-)

When I got home, I fairly floated into the house. "My, you certainly look happy. Get the job honey?" "Even better Mom. Instead of the grounds keeper job, they hired me as a teacher’s assistant and I’ll be learning as I’m earning. They want me to stay on campus during the week though so I’ll only be home on weekends." "That’s wonderful dear. Your daddy will be pleased."

"Room and board plus $350 a week Mom. Isn’t that great?" "Very. And we won’t have to spend as much on groceries either. Your Dad will like that too. When do you start?" "I’m just here to pick up my stuff and then go back so I’ll be packing a bag and I’m off." "OK, honey. Take your nicer stuff. You want to make a good impression. After you get a few paychecks, you may want to buy a few new things. You don’t have a lot of dressy clothes and they may dress a bit upscale, you know?." "Yes, I probably will. We’ll have to see how the others dress there. Then I can decide what I need."

And off I went to my packing. It didn’t take long. The underwear and toiletries went in the suitcase and the rest I left hanging for the two hooks in the car which didn’t get much of a workout. Yes, I’d need some new clothes soon, I was sure.

When I arrived back at the office, Laura Stern took me to my quarters which were on the first floor of a dormitory. I thought that rather odd but dismissed it. After all, I was the same age as the students there so it didn’t really matter to me and maybe I’d make some friends my own age while I was having to deal with the faculty on a day to day basis.

I settled in, hung up my meager wardrobe and filled only half of the chest of drawers with underwear and a few sweaters. The room was nicely appointed with cheerful colors, pretty curtains on the window and a flower print quilted bedspread on the four poster full sized bed. There was a rocker/recliner, a small TV and a desk of sorts that looked more like my mom’s vanity table. I had my own bathroom and I noticed there was a small speaker in both rooms in the ceiling. Probably for announcements and fire drills, I reasoned. However, as I had not put in the earplugs yet, I did hear a soft, gentle music coming from the speakers. It was nice. Just the kind I liked to listen to but barely audible in the school due to the noise level. In fact, I left my radio on at home all night listening to just that same kind of gentle, easy listening music. It helped me sleep. This was going to be OK. I could do it here too.

I didn’t finish up until about 4 PM and went back to see Laura. She told me where the faculty ate and told me they served between 4 and 6 PM for dinner, breakfast at 7 and lunch at noon to 2.

"Eric." "Yes?" "You don’t have your ear plugs in." "Oh, I was enjoying the music in my room so much I forgot. Thanks." "And so, I put them in and strolled over to the faculty lounge for supper. "Ah, Mr. Walker, our new assistant. Get yourself something and sit so we can get better acquainted" said a lady I hadn’t met. I got a modest tray of food with beverage and returned to sit with her. There were only a couple other males in the lounge. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage." "I’m sorry. My name is Connors, Gail Connors. For the most part you’ll be my assistant in English and Economics but when I don’t need you, you’ll be passed around a little I’m afraid. I hope you don’t mind. We’re a little short handed right now." "No, I’m looking forward to it. It will give me a better exposure to a collegiate atmosphere. It sounds like fun."

"Well, it may be, but you’ll find it’s also a lot of hard work too so be warned." I noticed that most of the instructors were women and that they were not wearing those earplugs. I didn’t hear that nice music in the background here either. We chatted and a few others joined us as we ate and I got caught up in the small talk albeit mostly ‘girl’ talk. But then, that’s what women do, isn’t it? Guess I was going to have to get used to it. I suppose listening to women talk is one way to get to know what women are interested in and that should help me communicate with them.

Laura had given me my schedule and a map of the campus and classrooms and my first class was at 8:30 the following morning. I decided to go to the library and get the texts for the courses I’d be assisting in and do a little studying before bed. Getting back to my room, I took out those plugs and settled in to browse through the books. The next thing I knew, it was midnight and I had fallen asleep in the chair so I got up and went to bed in my underwear. It was then I got a pleasant surprise. My sheets were nylon or something. They felt really neat but I was so tired, I fell right asleep. I was up at 7 and showered and shaved my meager beard and put on slacks, shirt and sports coat and went to breakfast. I remembered to put in my earplugs this time still not understanding why but just following directions.

Mrs. Connors was there and we finished up and went to class together. She seemed like a very pleasant woman and easy to talk to. I liked her. I never worked for a woman before but it didn’t seem like it would be all that bad. As the day progressed, I got a better insight into my duties and my "goffer" status, a Jack of all trades and expectations but that promised to make it all the more interesting and less boring and I knew teaching could be boring.

I couldn’t help noticing a couple of the girls in my classes. Very cute and smart too and they dressed so nicely. They wore dresses and dressy heels and the few boys looked nice too if not just a little, I don’t know...a little on the feminine side themselves. Their clothing wasn’t the rough and masculine styles I would have expected for October nor were they truly feminine. There were no blue jeans anywhere. They were very well groomed and wore longish hair styles and two wore earrings. I swear the boy they called Albert was wearing lip gloss or chap stick and they all had shiny, well manicured nails too. Boy, grooming must be important here, I thought. Observing the rest of the class, I saw the same things everywhere. I was going to have to do some catching up to keep ahead of the guys who had been here for a month already. I made a mental note of that for later. I figured if that was how Mrs. Connors wanted her students to look then I would look out of place if I didn’t shape up a bit.

My first day went well although I was rather nervous about dealing with kids my own age but they seemed OK with it and knew I was just an employee. At first they called me Mr. Walker as I had been introduced. I ran across Albert out in the hall and we talked for a few minutes. He seemed very nice, terribly refined for a boy though but I liked him and he was very bright, something I admired. I told him to call me Eric rather than Mr. Walker and to drop by my room some time if he liked. He said he would.

After dinner I went back to my room, removed those darned ear plugs and studied a little while and then it hit me that I really should go out and get myself a complete manicure kit so that’s what I did. Why I didn’t just settle for an emery board, I didn’t know.

I don’t know why but I got myself some hand lotion, clear polish and polish dryer too. Then I came back and proceeded to do my best to make my hands look like the other guys in class which was to say, more or less like the girls in class, cuticles pushed pack with rounded nails as best I could except with only the clear polish. I had gotten this hardener stuff and must have put four coats on by evening’s end. They were very shiny and nice looking if not a bit short. Well, they would grow and I had noticed how easily the others picked up papers with their longer nails. That would be an asset in my paper shuffling job. I was looking forward to their growth.

I didn’t fall asleep in the chair this time and took my time enjoying the luxurious feeling of my bedding as I snuggled in for the night having placed my earplugs on my night stand so I could hear the alarm. At this point, I had reasoned that the plugs were simply to help me concentrate on my work and I was sure they did that but sleep is not work. My next day went much as the first with me making more observations about the work and the students. That Jenny Atkins was a fox. She dressed rather sexily and the combination of her dressing and what was probably underneath made her a hot number in my eyes. I was going to have to see if I couldn’t get to know her too.

My days fell into routine as one might expect. Life is like that and it was time to go home for my first weekend. Mom gave me a big hug and I waited until Dad got home to tell all about my job and everything so I’d only have to do it once. They both noticed my manicure without any negative comments but I did explain that all the students were very well groomed and I wanted to at least keep pace as an assistant. We spent a pleasant weekend just lounging around although I did get stuck cutting grass. Dad was watching football, something I never did anyway. I liked tennis and ice skating but none was on that weekend. I left Sunday night to go back to campus and gave myself another manicure and, for whatever reason, stopped at the store and got a few facial cleansing things. I trimmed and filed my toenails too and clear coated them also and spent some time brushing my hair. As I wouldn’t get paid except on the first and 15^th of the month, I had a week to wait for my first paycheck and I just knew it would have to go for clothes for the most part.

One night that week Albert did stop in and we had a nice visit. He was obviously from a refined family and I mentioned that I liked his slacks and shirt. He blushed and thanked me. "Would you like to go shopping with me when I get paid Albert?" "Oh sure. I LOVE to shop. If you like my clothes, I’m sure we can find you some very nice similar things too." And so, a date was made for Saturday. While we were on the way to the mall, I asked Albert if he knew Jenny Atkins. "Oh, yes. She’s very sweet," he replied. "Are you interested?" "I’m not dead," I kidded back.

"She’s a second year student Eric but you are nice looking if not a bit slight. Maybe she’d go out with you. I can introduce you. Then it’s up to you what happens." "Great. I’ll settle for that." We reached the mall and went in. Shopping with Albert was expensive and educational. I noticed his clothing was also soft, flowing and made of expensive fabrics and of course, that’s what he recommended for me too.

After he showed me about fabrics and styles a while, I had to agree that I liked the soft, flowing fabrics too and bought several shirts, a couple pairs of light weight slacks and then we moved into underwear. Well, what Albert called underwear was more like lingerie frankly and at first the idea of wearing soft nylon hip high briefs with no placket and cap sleeved satiny tee shirts scared me, but then I remembered how much I loved the feel of my bed and wanted more of that so I ended up with several sets of rather slinky nylon undies. The briefs were high rise and that meant I couldn’t stand while relieving myself and then it hit me: NONE of the young men used the urinals that I had noticed. How odd!!! I hadn’t seen one male stand to pee in two weeks except for staff. It did not escape me that we were probably NOT in a men’s clothing store. The name was Aidens with no designation as to gender and I didn’t see any men’s suits or shoes in there either..

We moved on to a self serve shoe store and the isles were just marked with sizes. I usually went to a regular shoe store where they wait on you. I saw a nice pair of penny loafers and tried them on in my size. Too small. Well, I just moved up the isle until I found some that fit and I think it was a good thing I was wearing very light weight socks. The size was larger (8) but they made my feet look smaller, almost petite. They also seemed rather light weight which I rather liked. Again, how odd? I needed some slippers too and found a pair of scuffs in the same isle. They seemed a little fancy in a silver color but they were nice and fit and would do for padding around the room. We paid and left.

I only had about a $100 left so we had to quit which bummed Albert out but I had to save a little for gas and munchies. It was only a one week paycheck this time. He really did love to shop so we didn’t stop. He went into a few shops looking for things for himself. He did find a shirt he liked only it wasn’t a shirt. It was a blouse, soft, pretty, but not too feminine; a blouse nonetheless. I just told him how nice it looked on him and it did. I couldn’t get over how I accepted this young man buying a ladies blouse for himself and actually complimenting him on it. I’d never developed any particular prejudices along these lines though. It hadn’t occurred to me to check which way the buttons went on MY new shirts. Well, he did look sweet in it and that WAS lip gloss he was wearing with a very light tint too it I think. Albert was a rather androgynous person although it didn’t seem to bother me like I thought it should. I just accepted him as he was, earrings, lip gloss and all. I could swear he had little bumps protruding in that blouse too. No! That’s silly! He may be a little effeminate but surely he wasn’t growing breasts too but then, I wasn’t really sure...nor was I sure why I didn’t seem to care. He DID appear a bit more attractive than when we first met though.

We returned to the dorm and the conversation on the way home was rather animated on his part, much more so than I was used to from a boy but Albert was definitely his own person, very expressive. If I wanted him for a friend, I’d just have to accept that, so I did. I WAS a little concerned that if I hung around with an effeminate boy I might be guilty by association but I wasn’t effeminate so what did it matter? At least, I didn’t THINK I was. Besides, he could introduce me to my dream girl.

We parted at the dorm and I put my purchases away after changing into one of those nice sets of undies. They did feel SO good. I decided right then and there I was going to like nylon a lot more than I ever did cotton and vowed to get more soft and slinky clothing. Maybe a satin robe would be nice. As I was admiring my new underwear I noticed my hair needed some attention and so I washed and conditioned it to a shiny glow and blew it into what seemed to be rather more volume than usual. The combination of my undies and sheets was almost too much. It was wonderful. I was so glad I took this job and fell into dream land listening to that soothing music. Just before awaking, I had an odd dream. I was in the bath shaving all the hair off my legs and hands and underarms...reveling in how smooth my skin was.

It took a few more days for circumstances to play into my hands but I finally got Albert to introduce me to Jenny. I’m afraid I was really taken with her. She was very friendly but somewhat aloof and I was going to have to take it slowly with her. She was going to take some knowing before I asked her out and then she may not want to date me but it wouldn’t be my first turn down. All I could do was try to make a friend first and see. I really didn’t have designs on bedding her. I just wanted to get to know her.

The first thing I had to do along that line was to abandon the faculty cafeteria for the student one or I wouldn’t have much of an opportunity to talk with her outside class. And the clatter in there was so loud I had to take my ear plugs out just to hear her. The menu was quite different and all of the drinks tasted a bit unusual but for Jenny, I’d get used to it. Mrs. Connors advised against eating in the student cafeteria and warned me the food wasn’t as good but one makes sacrifices.

So, in addition to my duties and associations with the faculty, I spent leisure time with Albert and Jenny. Albert would usually visit me in my room and I’m afraid I found myself slipping into relating to him more like he did with me in a rather animated fashion. If I would have to put a label on it, I would say that he encouraged me to be more fluid and expressive and while I think it may have looked a little campy, began to feel rather comfortable with it But I had to meet Jenny at the library, student lounge or coffee shop. We kept everything very platonic and I wasn’t at all sure I was making any progress except that we did begin to share details of our lives and become friendly. I found she came from Ft. Wayne Indiana and her father owned a small department store which was of course, where her very nice clothing came from. My blue collar background wasn’t nearly so interesting and I played it down at every opportunity. Suddenly it hit me that I was spending all my time with a girl and a boy who appeared sometimes to be more girl than boy. Oh, well.

I wore one of my new outfits to the coffee shop one night and she said I had good taste in clothes. In what I immediately recognized as a feminine, limp wristed gesture, I explained that Albert had helped me pick out some things to which she responded, "Oh, Albert has WONDERFUL taste Eric. You should listen to his advice. He should be a designer. If you follow his lead, you’ll be voted best dressed on campus in no time." "Really?" "Oh yes. Believe me. Trust his judgement. You’ll just love how you look. Just put yourself in his hands." "Well, OK. If you say so Jenny. He does dress well. We’ll be doing more shopping in another week and I did plan to get some nicer things."

"He is rather effeminate though, don’t you think?" I remarked. She smiled sweetly with a little twinkle in her eye and looking slyly over at me.... "Oh, I know, but I like a boy who isn’t afraid of that side of himself. A little of that might look attractive on you too Eric. You certainly have the face for it." WELL! THAT was a revelation! Maybe I would at that. I’d never tried even a smidgeon of femininity before but then I DID realize that I was paying a little too much attention to my hair, nails and underwear, all usual girlish traits by default. What’s more, I was enjoying these pursuits and the feelings that accompanied them.

I don’t know what made me do it, but we stopped by the commissary and I picked up a bottle of ‘natural’ color clear polish which is a little pinkish. I walked Jenny to her room and went back and gave myself another pedicure/manicure in ‘natural’ and, after three coats, there was a bit of a tint showing. By now, after three weeks of pushing back cuticles and filing, my nails really looked as nice as any of the other (wow, I almost said other "girls") students. What ever put THAT in my head I wonder? But they did. They were long and rounded and gleaming like jewels and my hands were now quite soft and pretty what with the hand lotion and all. I was quite happy with them. My parents noticed of course but didn’t say much about it, accepting it as part of my refined atmosphere and my better clothes. I was a teacher’s assistant, not a factory worker.

Spending so much time with Albert and Jenny and in that noisy cafeteria, I had pretty much abandoned my ear plugs, never really understanding their purpose to begin with and the faculty had said it was my choice anyway. I filed them in my night stand and just left them there. It seemed that, in retrospect, that act and my other activities were beginning to feel quite ‘liberating’ to me. I was becoming more like my friends.

Albert and Jenny and I were becoming friends and getting closer and I was becoming very accepting of Albert’s femininity which seemed to be on the rise. I began to think of him as one of the girls and didn’t really care any more. He certainly talked like one and acted like one lately. I had no idea femininity was contagious but was soon to find out that Jenny’s idea of embracing a little bit had taken root in me quite insidiously. I believe I was loosening up, as they say. I’m afraid to the casual observer, the three of us seated in the coffee shop from a distance looked just like three girls talking and giggling as they are wont to do.

Upon receipt of my third paycheck after five weeks, all three of us hit the mall. Well, I hardly know where to begin. I was so used to being around girls and feminine boys, including Albert. It was almost like I was in a post hypnotic trance and just being with them put me in a decidedly girlish mood. I couldn’t get over myself. They suggested, and whatever it was, I tried it on or did it and it was fun. I’d never had so much fun shopping.

Most of our time was spent in decidedly ladies specialty shops where the first thing I found out was that a women’s size 10 slack fit me much better than anything I could find in men’s and then they got me into some blouses and blazers suitable for work where the feminine cut and buttoning wouldn’t be so noticeable, or so I convinced myself. The blazers accentuated my slender waist and rounding hips though. And why were my hips getting fuller? Well, it all did feel grand with my nylon undies and all and Albert did have great taste as Jenny said but when did my bottom begin to blossom?.

In nice slacks, blouse and blazer, I looked like I had the beginnings of a ‘figure’ all of a sudden. I just don’t know what came over me. I was so terribly receptive to all these totally feminine things but then Jenny had already said she admired a boy who wasn’t afraid of his femininity and I admired HER and still had hopes. So, I let them dress me and I loved the resulting look even if it was more like Albert. I was acting so frivolous and demonstrative all of a sudden.

My gawd! I didn’t get out of that mall with one masculine article of clothing or shoes. They took me to a makeup counter and I sat still for getting my ears pierced with little gold hoops and loved the look with my longer, fuller hair. The girl insisted on plucking my eyebrows and put some blush on me and some light frost lipstick too, appropriate for my coloring. And I bought BOTH! She kept referring to me as "miss" and I didn’t have the heart to correct her. Judging by the look of me, I barely could tell what I was.

At this point, I must confess I was feeling a great deal like a miss, if the truth be told. There I was in girl’s slacks, blouse and blazer and by now they had me in frilly panties and camisole from the lingerie store, sheer knee high hose and loafers with a 2 ½" stacked heel. "Eric" said Jenny, "you look positively darling. Please keep dressing this way. You have real potential, don’t you think Albert?" "Oh yes Jenny. Eric, you are going to turn out smashing." "Gee guys," I blushed profusely as I looked in the full length mirror and saw what they saw. I was now very androgynous too and leaning very much toward girl, just like my friend Albert. I looked sweet, much TOO sweet.

Oh boy! I just thought of myself as looking ‘sweet’ and was all girlish from the skin out and it felt WONDERFUL and I tingled all over with goose pimples at the thought. I was actually a bit turned on by my reflection and my nipples got hard next to their slinky lingerie. What did he mean about ‘going to turn out?’ What was happening to me? Did I care? Would it affect my job? I hoped not, and then I remembered...no males use the urinals, at least, not the student males. Wearing lingerie, I had to use the stalls anyway but I didn’t seem to mind.

It took me a little while to get used to wearing high heels, stacked or not, and it made me walk like Jenny with that sway to my hips but then, I was dressed like a girl anyway and even at that was only 5'8" with those 2 ½" heels. What the hell! So I looked a little feminine. So what? So do most of the guys in the school. Of course, when we stopped to eat, the waiter asked, "what will it be ladies?" That sort of set the tone of things and we just went along with it, having a good laugh at his expense or, was it at MY expense?

My new mode of dress and general appearance, earrings included, did not escape Mrs. Connors, the class, nor the rest of the instructors. I noticed them notice the changes but not a word was said except by Mrs. Connors. "You’re not wearing your earplugs dear and you’ve been eating in the student cafeteria for quite a while now, haven’t you?" "Yes, that’s true. Is there anything wrong?" "Oh, no. But you WERE warned. We just want you to be happy here. It’s not a problem for us." Well, that was a relief. After that little conversation, I wore my stacked heeled shoes on occasion to class without comment except for my friends. They said I looked very ‘cute’.

Jenny had given me a couple pairs of very pretty earrings to wear, dangles I’m afraid, and my hair was almost down to my shoulders by now. I was taking better care of it and had switched to her brand of hair care products that gave me more volume and shine but I did need a cut. They were both dying to get me into the campus styling salon and just before Christmas vacation, I succumbed.

I came away with a soft body perm and a trim that made me look even more girlish in what I’d call a wavy pageboy with bangs and that wasn’t all. My blouses now had bumps like Albert’s if not more so. I was also now sleeping in a soft, sensual nylon nightie, one of three I just couldn’t resist on our last excursion to the lingerie store. I had simply fallen in love with sexy women’s lingerie and I wanted to wear it all the time. I couldn’t keep my hands off it. If Jenny didn’t mind a bit of femininity in her men, I guess she was pretty happy with ME. I was becoming so soft and round though.

It wasn’t just that I had an affinity for nylon and lace now. My butt and chest were growing round and soft and I was becoming more and more like Albert, VERY girlish by my own admission and I think it was becoming very obvious. I’m afraid I was beginning to swish a bit too. Not too much; not campy like some of the gay boys, but noticeably. The faculty had nothing to say except in a complimentary way though. I didn’t understand when I overheard a snippet of conversation that I was sure was about me that went, "well, she was warned but doesn’t she look sweet now? And look how she carries herself and uses her hands!" SHE? ME? Were they talking about ME with that feminine pronoun? They were a LOOKING at me right enough.

Of course I had been home every weekend and my parents also saw these gradual shifts in clothing and disposition, style and mannerisms over just a few months, a little over three actually. Mom did the washing. She saw my claws and hair and earrings, my arched eyebrows and now darkened lashes, the carefully applied subdued eyeliner. She saw the shine to my lips and my softening, changing body. She knew what was in my wardrobe, nothing but girl’s clothes and lingerie. I had lost weight in my shoulders and waist and muscle mass and put it on my butt and chest. My complexion was perfect but I couldn’t help jiggling when I walked.

"Honey, is there something you want to tell your mother? You’ve put on some weight, haven’t you?" "Gee mom. I don’t think so. Why?" "Oh, please Eric, we’re not blind, or is it ERICA now?" That did it. I just looked at her and, without much warning, the dam burst.

She held me close and I wept. We wept. My mascara ran. "Oh, mom. I think I’m turning into a girl. Whatever am I going to do? The worst of it is, I LOVE what’s happening to me." "Do you really dear?" "Yes, with all my heart." "Well, then, be whomever you must, but be happy. That’s all we want for you in the end, to be happy. Your daddy is a bit taken back but I’ll make him understand. Is the job going alright?" "Just fine Mom. They don’t seem to even blink an eye at all this." "Well then, just be happy and what happens, happens. I really do think you should get yourself a few nice bras though. You ARE developing!" Mom took me bra shopping. Now THAT was a revelation I can assure you. I can see the headlines in the school newspaper now...Eric buys first bras...

When I got back to school after vacation, I had a surprise waiting for me. The school psychiatrist wanted to see me.

"So, Mr. Walker, how are things going with you and how do you like your job here by now?" I knew he was trying to put me at ease but it wasn’t working. "Things seem to be going great doctor, unless you know something you want to tell me." I thought I’d just toss that out and see what came back. "Well Eric, may I call you Eric?" "Of course." "We’ve noticed some changes since you came. You quit wearing your protective ear plugs and have been eating in the student cafeteria for 3 months now." "Well, I am the same age as the students and it’s a little more comfortable for me." "I see. Well, as I said, there have been some changes and we like your work and want you to stay so it’s time we had a talk about your future." "I thought that would come from the personnel administrator." "Not in a case like yours. You see, Chatham is a special school."

"We cater to a very special kind of student, usually one that has been in a good deal of trouble." "I don’t understand. They all seem quite well behaved." "Yes, well, that is because they are under a constant barrage of subliminal conditioning and various chemical re-enforcements to alter them to become acceptable members of society." "You mean this isn’t just an ordinary prep school?" "Far from it I’m afraid Eric although we don’t advertise, and you have inadvertently fallen in with the student body’s program. Perfectly natural in your quest for company your own age and we have no problem with it as long as you don’t. In fact, we feel you may be ready to progress to the next level as you seem quite comfortable now as a feminine person."

"I HAVE become terribly effeminate, haven’t I?" "Yes, dear, but it was to be expected after all. You have progressed beyond effeminate into truly feminine. You didn’t follow the rules and now you are happily paying the price." "I AM happy doctor which I don’t really understand, but the price?"

"You ARE becoming a GIRL of course. Doesn’t your own mind tell you that is what you want?" ‘Oh YES doctor, but WHY? WHY do I crave these pretty clothes? Why do I want to wear dresses and sexy high heels and makeup and look like Jenny? What has happened to me and why am I growing breasts and this great looking bottom that swivels as I walk? Why are my thighs filling in? Why am I talking like a girl and thinking about MEN?"

"One thing at a time Erica. We may as well start calling you that now. You, of your own choice, subjected yourself to our reprogramming which is coming through the speakers 24 hours a day. That began to make you susceptible and accepting of femininity in boys and then you began to eat with the students and began receiving massive doses of female hormones as well as other conditioners in your beverages at each meal just like THEY do and here we are. The chemicals are converting your body into that of a young woman and your mind wants every bit of it due to the programming with the help of the hormones. You can’t help it and even I can’t change your mind now. The programming is not reversible and we know you don’t care now anyway. You WANT to be ERICA don’t you?" "Yes doctor, I do. Oh, what have I done?" At this point my perfectly manicured hands rushed up to my abundant head of shiny hair with blonde highlights, long slender nails gleaming.

"Now, don’t worry dear. What about your parents?" "They’ve seen and know and they just want me to be happy." "Wonderful, and happy you will be as a beautiful young woman. You are here in the office today to begin your transition. You will be getting a time release shot every week through June and I will counsel you as needed. I think you will be a lovely addition to our staff Erica and if you decide to move on to college yourself, we may be able to help you if you sign a contract to come back and teach here. You no longer lust after Jenny do you?" "Heavens no." "Good, because she’s a boy too, for now at least."

"Really? A boy?" "Absolutely. Now, you will also need some electrolysis and we are set up for that. I’ll make your first appointment for you. With your parent’s permission, we can take away your useless hormone factories. Please take this form home and have it signed so that we can dispense with them. Most males would want them replaced with prostheses but you will benefit from the empty sac. I’d consider letting Jenny and Alberta take you shopping for some skirts, dresses, bras and pumps young lady. You know you want to." "Oh, doctor, do I ever want to. Thank you." I took the form and left, elated that everything was now clear, elated to know I was really going to become a woman even it was by accident or fate. He had said a beautiful young woman.

And so the pretense of Eric was dropped. Jenny owned up to whom she really was at my prodding, a juvenile delinquent with three strikes against him/her and she seemed perfectly happy now to be a girl with a sweet disposition. She showed me a picture of herself before Chatham. They were two entirely different people.

As suggested, we went out and spent some more of my money on girlish essentials like the doctor suggested. I now knew instinctively how to walk, talk and act like a girl. No article of clothing was a mystery to me. It was in the programming and the training that Jenny and Albert provided. I swished beautifully and POOF, Erica became the new assistant in heels and a dress complete with appropriate makeup.

When I showed up for class so attired, Mrs. Connors remarked, "Erica, you look simply lovely, doesn’t she class?" "Yes, Mrs. Connors" came the chorus. It’s hard to keep a secret when the whole school is geared to making changes. Funny they never mentioned the true nature of the place, just to wear my ear plugs and eat with the faculty. That still bothers me but, then again, I’m rather happy with the results.

I continued to grow and shrink where I should and revel in my femininity. My parents signed that paper, my father somewhat reluctantly of course, and I underwent a little operation with local anesthetic and my panties fit much better then. The unsightly bulge problem was gone as well as my ability to make tadpoles. My hair now cascaded down to my shoulder blades and I was now a 5' 5 ½" blonde working on a B+ cup.

I looked on as the first year boys changed into first year girls with rarely a whimper over the next few months into Spring. A few fought it but they found themselves evolving, becoming ever more feminine. Alberta and I became even tighter as she began wearing skirts and a bra and full makeup too. By June, there were no obvious boys in any of my classes and to all intents, my parents now had a daughter. All of my unwanted body hair was gone and I was looking forward to some quality bikini time at the county pool. With the removal and rearrangement of things, to be completed in the fall, and with my new female urges, I was ready to break a few hearts. Oh yes, I had become ‘hunk’ oriented too and terribly unashamed of it.

As it turned out, Jenny, no longer the object of my affections, lived in one of the better neighborhoods just about 15 minutes from our place. I guess money doesn’t keep people from getting into trouble. She had graduated a little above the middle of her class but had decided not to go on to college after prep school, but to take her computer skills and get a job after a little vacation time. We exchanged addresses and phone numbers and after we finished up the paperwork at school, I called her. I went over to her house. I wanted to see it and meet her parents and find out how they liked having a daughter instead of a delinquent son.

Mrs. Atkins was very nice and treated us both like refined young women, which, I suppose we were, by hook or crook. Jenny was quite domestic at home and they had their own swimming pool, a rather nice and large one out back. My suit was in my car and after Jenny was through with the lunch dishes, we changed and went out to catch some rays. She had a striking figure which made me at once wonder what happened to "it". "Oh, they didn’t explain it to you?" "Explain what?" "Well, that was part of my sentence. While you were finishing the term’s paperwork, I was in the hospital. I really AM a girl now...completely and forever. You see, my...his last crime was rape and that was the last straw for the judge and being a minor, they couldn’t give me the regular sentence and offered me Chatham as an alternative. Of course, they didn’t really explain the real deal. But I really love being a girl Erica. It’s a lot of work but it’s a lot of fun too. So will you. You don’t have a choice either you know."

"Yes, so I’ve been told, but who is going to pay for MY operation? My folks surely can’t afford it." "Didn’t I hear of them offering you a deal if you came back to teach?" "Yes." "Well, that’s it. You teach, they pay. You get a good job and nobody loses and you and I get to find ourselves a couple neat guys to take care of us the rest of our lives. Doesn’t that sound like fun?" "Jenny, you little devil. You have this figured out to the last detail. If I didn’t know better, I’d think that last thing "he" did was on purpose knowing what would happen to you."

"(Laughing) yeah, maybe I did, but you’ll never know and now you’ve fallen into the web too. Here you are stuck in satin and lace, surrounded by femininity, oozing sex appeal from that bikini, advertising with every tap of your spikes on the pavement. I’ll bet you can’t wait to get back to school and see the new crop of soon not to be boys and finish up your year of living as a woman."

She had me there. Even without the constant barrage of subliminal programming, no longer necessary as I was ‘fully cooked’ after two semesters, I would continue to take my hormones willingly, my mind swinging every day further from manhood or any thoughts of ever going back. Just then a shadow fell on my face and while I couldn’t see who it was, I knew it was a hunk about 6 feet tall and 185 pounds.

"Oh, hi Jack. This is Erica, the new student assistant at Chatham. She doesn’t live too far from here. Sit down so she can see you." "Jack lives next door Erica. We let him use the pool for taking care of it. He goes to Waltham College, a sophomore." Jack took my hand and, lifting it up, kissed it. "Would you like to take a swim Erica? You’re lovely." "Yes Jack. I think I would. Thank you." He held on to my hand, lifting my 120 pounds easily. I was right. He was six inches taller than me and nicely built with a rugged face and a nice smile. Oh my! My hormones were in overdrive. I had no idea I’d react this way to a real man. I had butterflies in my tummy. I needed to talk to Mom in a hurry. Hope he likes what he sees and does he have any idea I’m not totally ‘real’ yet? Certainly he knew all about Jenny. We dove in together and swam to the other end.

Not the end.

 

© 1999
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