A Change of Direction                    by Tigger                   © 1997

An Alternative Ending to Mike Allegretto's and CaitlinB's "A Change of Pace"

 

A Change of Direction Chapter 15

Bronwyn sat in Laurie's library/den, wearing her own skin for a change. Ostensibly, she had been called over to "comfort" her friend after Laurie had suffered a terrible "ordeal". Now, with the cause of that ordeal sound asleep in her bed, the two women sitting behind closed doors, giggling like two adolescent girls.

"You should have seen the look on his face, Laurie, right after she socked him the first one and right before the uppercut connected that put the little snot into dreamland. It was positively *priceless*," Bronwyn was all but chortling. "He thinks he is the greatest lover in the world and that no girl could possibly not want his attentions. Most of them are just afraid of him and his cronies. Before today, though, his nasty little games have always stopped well short of rape so his politician daddy has been able to keep him out of trouble. From his perspective, I suppose, this was no different than those other times. Only this time, Jacqui disagreed with him. Forcefully!"

"But why did he pick on Jacqui? I know her clothes are a little on the daring side, but we all agreed to continue that strategy as a tactic to get the males to pay attention to her a little more. I was hoping she would find one she liked enough to encourage just a little."

"The nice ones all back way off when she hits them with "The Look", darling. Your daughter has very quickly mastered the fine art of cutting a young man dead with a well-placed glare. This one today was trying to prove his manhood by being the one who took her down. He has all the sensitivity of ancient rock, so when she hit him with her whammy, he did not even slow down. I sensed her anxiety, fear and then her anger, and came a running, but by the time I got there, he had her backed into a corner of an empty classroom. She tried to push past him but he blocked her with his body and started running his hands over her. Next thing, I know, she has dropped her books and caught him flush on the chin with a left hook and then the upper cut. He went down like a tree. Then, she just picked up her books and left, calm as you could please. His cronies parted for her like the Red Sea. It was great."

"Well, it was not so great for me when I got the call from the Principal to come pick up my daughter who was being suspended for fighting," Laurie said darkly. "I am glad you met me when I arrived so I was prepared with the basics of what really happened."

Bronwyn sipped her brandy, her eyes still laughing. "You impressed the hell out your daughter in there, by the way. She was all but bubbling about how great you were when we walked home, afterwards. So what really happened? If I believe Jacqui, you all but cut the man's heart out and fed it to him."

"I was tempted, but it was nothing quite so dramatic. He was a conceited ass and all I did was trip him over his own tongue."

Laurie's Story

The secretary kept me waiting for ten minutes before she even called the Principal. "He's out in the halls for change of class, you know," Except he wasn't. He was in his office with Jacqui, trying to get her to confess to causing the whole mess. I know because I eavesdropped on Jacqui's public mind while I was waiting.

Finally, I was ushered into the inner sanctum and this prig is seated behind his desk trying to look wise and scholarly, while Jacqui was sitting in this straight-backed chair wringing her hands.

"Mrs. Donovan," he said it in a very condescending tone. "I am afraid your daughter has been suspended for fighting and will not be welcome back here for four days," His smile put my teeth on edge. "I am sure you can help her correct the error of her ways in that time. We cannot permit our young women to behave in such an unattractive manner, I am sure you will understand."

Since I knew the whole story from meeting with Bonnie, I decided to play along with the fatuous fool. "Oh, of course. I do hope the other young lady is not hurt?"

He coughed and said something I pretended not to hear, making him repeat it again, louder this time. "It, uh, wasn't a girl. It was a boy."

I raised my brows in concern. "Jacqui, are you hurt? Did he hit you, baby?"

Jacqui, her face twisted in disgust, snorted derisively. "He never laid a fist on me, Mum. He cornered me and was feeling me up under my skirt."

"Under your skirt?" I turned back to the principal. "I assume he is being suspended, too?"

"That is not germane to this discussion, Mrs. Donovan. Discipline in the school is my concern, not yours."

I stood up and leaned over his desk. "Now you listen to me, you sanctimonious old fool. You weren't even going to suspend that boy, were you? That little punk molested my daughter in your school. I have been told that by two eye witnesses while I walked to your office."

The idiot interrupted me. "I have witnesses that say her attack was unprovoked at the time and that her counter- accusations are untrue. Mrs. Donovan, if your daughter receives, shall we say, untoward remarks, it is to be expected when she dresses," he sniffed and looked down his nose at Jacqui, "in a rather obvious manner."

I looked at her outfit. The skirt was a bit short, and the sweater she was wearing fit her very nicely, but there was nothing out of the ordinary for a pretty teenager. I saw red. "Why you prudish hypocrite, her outfit is attractive, but it is also completely in line with the dress code you sent home on the first day of school. Now you listen and listen well. My daughter has an unblemished record at this school, and I also believe, is very well-thought-of by all her teachers. If my daughter is suspended, or if I leave here without a formal apology from you, I will start making phone calls. First to my lawyer, then to the media."

"My word is final on this subject, Mrs. Donovan, and you are being offensive. Please leave and take your daughter with you," He stood to open his door. "If you don't leave, I will have the security officer escort you off the grounds."

I stood to leave. "Oh, I will leave. Enjoy dealing with you phone calls. Did I mention, that one of the eye witnesses was your vice principal?"

He stopped me before I could get out the door with Jacqui. As you know, Thea, the vice principal, is one of us, and although she did not actually see it happening, she did "see" it. She tried to get in to talk to that fool and tell him so, but he was too busy trying to protect that kid because of his father's political connections.

"Anyway," Laurie continued, "the rest was sort of anticlimactic. Thea came into the office with write-up on the incident and a list of the other witnesses. Jacqui was cleared, the kid who did it is facing expulsion, and the ones who lied to the principal are all being suspended."

"It was quite the big splash on the News at Six on TV," Bronwyn commented. "Guess you decided to call it in, anyway?"

Laurie laughed. The principal had been filmed running to his car, trying to escape the reporters who had gotten wind of the "sexual harassment cover-up plot" at the local high school. The political angle had made it particularly juicy once the word had gotten out to the reporters just whose kid had been the harasser. Neither the principal nor the politician-daddy was likely to get much public support in the near future. "But I didn't. Turns out it was the principal's secretary. Once she found out what had really happened, she'd called her sister who happens to work at the city desk of the daily paper. It just took off from there."

"Well, at least it all worked out, and you made a lot of points with Jacqui, today. Besides, as you are well aware, her growth in the power follows the growth of her own self-awareness as a woman. Today she became very aware of two critical factors. One is the potential vulnerability of being female, and two, that you would come running to her rescue and not doubt her story for even a minute"

"As if I would," she snorted. "But I lost ground, too. She has demanded that we going shopping for jeans. She told me she has spent almost six months in skirts and she wants pants that aren't so tight she has to lay down on the floor to put on. She was doing so well in the skirts, and now this."

"Don't see how you can say no to her, Laurel," Bronwyn said solemnly. "For the first time since the Transformation, she is dealing with the inherent vulnerability of her new condition. She won't catch the next guy who tries to play cute games with her by surprise, and she knows it. She is a virgin, and rape is a scary thing to contemplate. Let her have her pants, Laurel. The skirts have served a purpose, and I don't think she is going to give them up entirely. Bonnie won't let her," she added with a sly smile.

Laurel sipped and closed her eyes tiredly. "Wasn't going to say no. Wouldn't do any good anyway because she swore she'd buy her own if I refused. Told me there'd be hell to pay if I got rid of them as I had Jack's things that first night," She paused, letting the brandy warm her insides a bit. "We will go shopping for them tomorrow since she is not going to school again until Thea tells me that little animal has been expelled. We will shop tomorrow and she can have all the trousers she needs to feel safe."

"You know, Laurel, it is a good thing that she doesn't know the Transformation Spell, yet. When I walked her to her class after she clobbered that fool? There, in her public mind, was the picture of him as a Dolly Parton clone with the morals and needs of a rabbit in mating season," She grinned. "It was all I could do to keep myself from making her little wish come true."

Laurie smiled at that. "I understand how she feels, but it still means that she sees the whole thing as punishment," her voice was dejected.

"Boys don't often get raped, luv, and she thought she was going to be. We will watch out for her. And that is another thing. Boys. We need a couple."

The change of topic had Laurie's head spinning. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"You said it yourself, earlier. You have been dressing her to get her involved with boys. It has not worked. She still cuts them dead with just a look and there are some rumors starting to fly about the halls about Jacqui and me being lesbians. Regardless of how true that is or not, it is not the reputation we want her living with just now."

"Well, my little ploy worked so well she is demanding loose fitting pants as protection. What are you going to do?"

"I have a couple of nice young lads all picked out for us. In fact, I have been discreetly influencing them for about two weeks now. They are growing quite infatuated with the blond bombshell and the gypsy goddess upstairs. They are going to ask us out to next week's dance and I am going to tell Jacqui that we need to accept. Camouflage, you see," She grinned mischievously. "I will even get her to be "nice" to the boy, maybe a good night kiss or two on the drive home. If it works out, and there is no reason why it should not, they can become our "steadies". I will keep them from getting too amorous by imposing some strong inhibitions on them and by giving them some very interesting dreams to keep their manly urges at a tolerable level. I might even talk Miss Priss upstairs into giving hers a friendly hand-job in the back seat one night. Do her good to get her hands on a cock again. It will also further increase her self-awareness. She is repressing her sexuality and that will inhibit her growth to her full potential."

Laurie listened in stunned disbelief. "You stinker," she said admiringly. "You know? It ought to work. I don't know about the sex, but she will go along with almost anything to keep on Bonnie's good side and to stay in her bed," Then maternal instinct flared and Laurie pinned Bronwyn with a stern glare. "You are sure these are *nice* boys? If they hurt her, I will turn them into harem slaves."

The thought of the usually gentle and forgiving Laurel as the vengeful wicked witch made Bronwyn chuckle, but she hastened to reassure her friend. "Picked 'em myself, luv. Popular enough for our purposes with the "in" crowd, but still independent of them. Smart, polite, and good-natured. Just all around nice guys - the kind you bring home to Mother."

"Her first kiss, huh?" Laurie took a fortifying sip of brandy as she recalled her own first time with a boy's mouth and tongue on her own. "That ought to make it in that diary-that- is-not-a-diary of hers. Hope it's a good one!" She raised her snifter in a toast. "To young love."

Chuckling, Bronwyn answered the toast with her own drink in the air. "Here, here."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

5 months 3 days A. T.

Well, the times, they are a' changing. I have a guy try to force himself on me (I don't think it would have been rape - that time), get in a fight, almost get suspended and watch my mom turn into a virago in front of my eyes. At least I have gotten some comfortable pants out of the deal. And Mom isn't laying out my outfits for me anymore, either.

That is good and bad. The good is that I don't feel quite so. . . all right, I will say the word (go hide in your cave, Jack) *sexy* when I pick out my clothes. I don't know why, but Mom really seemed to have a thing for showing off my legs and figure. I have not said anything about it to her before this, because she said it was a key part of the program to get back to being male. Now, I wish I had questioned her more.

Anyway, on the other hand, now I have to make sure things match. Grown up girl clothes do not come with little animals on them that you can match up to ensure that the outfit works together like little kid clothes do. She let me go a couple of days, but yesterday was more than she could stand and she let me know that the two colors I had on clashed.

Today, I wore a skirt to school for the first time since the fight. Bonnie thought I looked great and gave me a big hug (she really *likes* me in short skirts - which is okay. I like the way *she* looks in them, too). Actually, wearing the skirt made me feel pretty good, too. Mostly because I *hate* the idea that something that jackass did to me was making me change anything!

Mom was proud of me, too. That helped, because in all honesty, getting out the door in that outfit (I was wearing the exact same one because it was the exact same one) was not very easy. When she told me she was proud of me, it gave me the little nudge I needed to keep from running up to my room and coming back down in jeans.

The other big change is one I am not so positive about. Jack, go hide again. I am going to have a boy friend, or at least, I am going out with a boy. These two guys asked us to the dance tomorrow while we were sitting together at lunch. I was going to say no immediately, but Bonnie kicked me under the table and accepted for both of us. After they left, I started to give her hell and she shut me up quickly enough. Seems that we are too much of an item around school, and some folks have figured out that we spend a lot of time together out of school. Bonnie says her dad will freak if he finds out she likes girls and so she wants the cover of a boy friend. Says I need one, too, and those two are really nice guys from everything she has heard. I wouldn't know. I don't much listen to the kind of girl talk where guys are the main topic.

Now the kicker. She says I have to encourage him, gently. I have to be nice to him. What does that mean?? Lord, not that I don't remember what Jack would have thought of as a girl being "nice" to him. (not that any girl ever did anything like that with or for me back then.) When I asked her to be more explicit, she said a kiss or two would be fine - for now.

For NOW?!??!?? Oh, hell. I don't *want* to be *that* nice to a boy.

End Journal Entry.

****************

Laurie and Jacqui were relaxing in their living room a few days after the incident at school. Jacqui was sitting cross-legged on the floor, peering at a magazine article discussing self-image. She was dressed in loose shorts and a t-shirt. She looked so much like any other, ordinary teenaged woman-child that Laurie felt tears pricking at her eyes.

"Mom?" The questioning tone keyed Laurie that something was bothering the girl and she looked away from the newspaper she was reading. Seeing she had her Mother's attention, Jacqui continued. "What does "acclimate" really mean?"

Caught off guard by the question, Laurie considered for a moment. "Since you can use a dictionary, I assume you aren't asking for generalities, are you, dear?"

Jacqui shook her head slowly. "No, I mean as in the "acclimating to being a woman" thing you said I had to do to master the Transformation thing. Frankly, I don't know what that means, and that is starting to scare me. I don't think I am ever going to be able to do that." A tear trickled down her daughter's cheek.

A little frightened herself, Laurie patted the arm of the overstuffed chair she was seated in and beckoned the girl over. She was more than a little surprised when Jacqui all but scrambled over to her and sat down there, leaning down into her Mother's shoulder. "Okay, now give. What is bothering you? Specifically," she tried to keep her tone no-nonsense in the hope that would help.

"Everything!" Jacqui sobbed out.

Undone by having her daughter crying on her shoulder, Laurie just held the girl and let her cry. When the tears started to ebb, she said with a tart touch. "Well "everything" certainly narrows it down."

Jacqui knuckled her eyes and gave a watery giggle. "Real precise of me, wasn't it?" She took a deep breath and snuggled tighter into the chair with her Mother. "Mom, I don't think I will ever be as womanly as you are. It's like the clothes thing. I know you told me that learning to wear them and to deal with them was part of the learning process. And I have tried, Mom, but after . . after. . " her voice faltered, before coming out in a rush. "After last week at school, I am more uncomfortable with them than I was in September. And I probably ruined everything by making you get me pants, but I don't think I can wear that other stuff all the time again just now." The tears were starting to flow again.

"Easy, luv. Now, let's take it from the top. The clothes were something I did to try and force you to acknowledge you were a girl. It has been partly a success, and partly a problem. However, you did your best, and for the most part, your best was pretty good. I don't think wearing slacks is going to set you back if that is what you are worried about. I have told you often enough how jealous I am of how fast you have learned the healing arts. Those are a woman's craft, dear. That should tell you how well you are doing and how far you have come," Not to mention that incredibly strong sixth sense you have developed, Laurie whispered to herself.

"You mean it? I can wear the pants without losing ground?"

"Wel.l.l.l.l..l," Laurie drew the word out teasingly. "I would not trade in your silky undies for jockey shorts, and it would be nice if you could dress up occasionally like you did the other day, but I think wearing jeans to school now and again won't hurt your progress, love," Then she grinned. "In fact, I know it won't."

Jacqui hugged Laurie tightly, then leaned back to look at her Mother. "I was worried. This "acclimating" thing is so ill- defined. I mean, Mom, I still *look* at girls instead of guys. Girls turn me on, and guys challenge my competitive instincts. I want to be better than they are at school and stuff because they think I shouldn't be. I know you said you can't tell me what the lessons all entail, but can't you help me understand this? You are a really feminine woman. If you are the example of what I have to become, well, I just don't know if I can ever do that."

Laurie nodded her understanding. She'd never had this conversation with her own Mother because by this point in her own Transition, she'd known she was never going back to being Larry. "That is a very hard question, Jacqui, because the answer is different for each one of us. My answer, or the way I live my life, won't be your answer or the way you will live your life. As the line goes, dear, you must "to thine own self be true". I think, that eventually you will find that there will come a time when you don't fight yourself so hard. When the different perceptions and instincts implicit in being a woman will no longer seem "different" to you. Basically, you will be "acclimated" when you are happy with yourself as you are then, regardless of how that person is perceived by others."

A frown furrowed the girl's smooth forehead. "But doesn't that mean that to be able to return to being Jack, I have to reach the point that I don't want to be him, anymore?" There was a touch of accusation in her voice.

Laurie smiled gently to defuse her anger. "No, love, that is not what it means. It is not an "either-or" situation. Just because you are happy living one way does not mean you cannot also be happy in another, drastically different situation as well. Jacqui, the learning you have yet to undertake is not intended to deprive you of your old self, or to brainwash you so that you no longer want that for yourself. It is intended to help you find and come to like the real woman that you, Jacqui Donovan, could have been," Should have been, came the silent whisper in Laurie's mind. "And first, you have to discover her for yourself. You had seventeen years to discover Jack, luv. I don't think you have done such a bad job with only five months to find Jacqui."

Uncertainty still clouded her eyes. "You promise, none of this will take away my real choice to be Jack again? There is nothing that this discovery thing does that will force me to change how I feel about that?"

Laurie hugged the girl again reassuringly. "Only you and your own free will could make that change, dear. I would never impose such a thing on you. I promise. And it won't be so very hard. I quite like the person you are becoming, dear. I think you will, too, in the fullness of time."

Jacqui started to say something in response, then closed her mouth. She hugged her Mother again, then slipped off the chair and went to her room.

*****************

Lancaster read the message with increasing anger. The bitches had figured out something was up and had taken action against his operations. Effective action, too, since his two targets in Atlanta and in Charlotte had suddenly become much more surveillance conscious. He could not take them now without the abductions coming to the attention of the local officials.

One thing about power, though, *when* you used it is often much more important than *how much* you used. He had time. He would continue to watch the elements of the Sisterhood he had identified and bide his time. If nothing else came up, the cessation of his operations against them might give them a false sense of security. Additionally, there was still something he was missing in that situation in California. What was their name, again? Oh, yes, the Donovan women. Well, he would let things work for a while. The longer he waited, the stronger his Brotherhood became. Time was on his side.

~-------~

A Change of Pace Chapter 16

Laurie surveyed the utter chaos in Jacqui's room with a benignly maternal mein. The room looked like a tornado had struck her daughter's closet and armoire and had deposited every single garment the girl owned in the middle of the room. Bright colors splashed every square inch of horizontal space in the room and hung from most of the handy vertical pieces of furniture. "Has this room been ransacked by some arch thief searching for the Maltese Falcon, or perhaps a super spy searching for the classified designs of your new secret weapon?" she asked, as much to let Jacqui know she was there as to poke fun at the girl.

"Moo-oom!" Jacqui responded, managing to add a few syllables to the name in her distress. "What *am* I going to wear tonight?"

"Well, you are going dancing, luv. I would wear something that was easy to move in. This," and she picked up clingy, mini-skirted knit dress, "would let you kick up your heels and look pretty at the same time."

The look on her daughter's face held more than a little bit of fear in it. "But, but, .. it's so . . . . short."

Mine field, Laurie realized. Maybe Bronwyn had pushed this too fast and too soon after the incident at school. Sighing, she moved through the rainbow of colors. "I guess you could wear these jeans. I understand that many girls do wear jeans at dances these days."

The look of abject despair on Jacqui's face pulled at her mother's heart. "Bonnie said I couldn't. She is wearing a dress, so I have to wear one, too,"

And I still have not bought you anything that is middle of the road, have I, Jacqui? her mother silently sympathized. I wanted you to constantly aware of you womanliness, and your clothes tended to reinforce that. The only things you have that aren't intended to put you in the spotlight are the jeans you demanded last week. Looks like I put you in a pickle.

"Sit down, Jacqui," She said as she cleared a spot on the bed for them both. Dejectedly, Jacqui plopped down beside her Mother. "Now listen to me. Bonnie is your friend, and I am your Mother. You don't have to wear a dress if it really bothers you. First dates are tough for all girls, but especially for folks like you and me who did not grow up thinking of boys *that* way."

"I don't want to disappoint Bonnie, but I don't have anything I feel . . . " she searched for a word, "comfortable wearing," Laurie heard the word she meant to say, that she had nothing she felt safe wearing.

"I don't have a chastity belt for you, darling. . . "

"MOM!!!" The girl flushed bright red at the thought and at the fact that her Mother had read her so clearly.

Laurie put a finger to Jacqui's lips to shush her. "You did not let me finish, love, but I do have something that might help. I will go get it while you find the longest, fullest dress or skirt you have," She stood and left before the girl could ask her what she was up to. In her own bedroom, Laurie found what she was looking for and hurried back to the room.

Darn Bronwyn, anyway, she should not have pushed the girl so hard. And darn herself, too, for not foreseeing the need for her daughter to look nice without looking too sexy. They should have been ecstatic just to get her out on a date with a male, but no, Bronwyn had to go for the home run and make her feel femininely vulnerable.

Again.

She returned to the room to find Jacqui standing in front of the mirror holding the same outfit Laurie had first suggested. *That* was the longest skirt she owned?? No wonder she was in a panic, Laurie thought to herself. "Here, put this on. It will be a bit small on you because it is mine and you are taller and more rounded than your dear old Mom," The garment she held out was white and looked like a pair of thigh-length running shorts.

Carefully, Jacqui took the proffered item and looked at it. "What is it?" she finally asked in confusion.

"Something you don't really need, luv, so I did not buy you any. It is a long line panty girdle. I use it when I am stalking to keep gravity from winning, but you can use it as a pretend chastity belt. They are bloody hard to get on and off, so even if you find out you like boys, you won't find your panties down around your ankles before you are really ready to take them down yourself," At that, Jacqui's face darkened and Laurie raised a hand to forestall the deluge she saw coming. "I *know* you don't intend to have that happen, dear, but I have to be honest with you. One aspect of the Transformation is that you are a very excitable young woman. I wanted you to enjoy your sexuality, so I .... well, I gave you a little help."

"Gee, thanks a whole lot, Mother," was Jacqui's disgusted response.

"You're welcome, I'm sure," was Laurie's cheeky response. "Now, toddle off to the bathroom and do your business. You are not going to want to be fighting your way into and out of this thing all night," She smacked her daughter's panty-ed bottom to hurry her along.

She was ready just in time. She wore pantyhose since Laurie did not have any regular stockings that were short enough for the panty girdle, and her one inch heeled pumps. The knit dress looked great on her, showing off her high breasts and narrow waist perfectly. That boy was going to be in terminal lust before the night was over. Laurie had helped her with making up her face, using a somewhat heavier hand than Bronwyn had taught the girl. It was a dance, after all, and it would be dark in the gym so she'd need the extra color and definition. At least, that is what she told Jacqui.

She'd approved of the young man, too. Marcus Arnold was tall, maybe six feet one or so, and he dressed nicely in slacks, loafers and a knit pullover. His manners were excellent and he made real points with Laurie when he complimented her daughter by comparing her with her mom. A quick, magical reading of the boy showed that there was no malice in him; he was simply a nice young man looking forward to a good time with a very pretty girl. Bronwyn had chosen well. Teary-eyed, Laurie had waved to them as they drove off. She'd wait up for them, but she would only show herself if she sensed any upset or panic in her daughter. She'd run the boy off then, but if everything went well, tomorrow was soon enough to try and share those little "first date" mother/daughter confidences.

The car Marcus was driving had bucket seats, a center console and *no* back seat. At least, Jacqui thought, I won't have to worry about getting caught in that old cliche. Marcus tried to make conversation with her on the trip, but she was so nervous, she answered in monosyllables, if at all.

At school, he rushed around the car to open her door and hand her out. She smiled in appreciation for the gallant move, but not for the reason he probably assumed. It was darned hard to move in the girdle. There was no way she would have gracefully managed getting out of the low-slung car without his help. As it was, she only barely missed flashing him before she remembered to spin both her legs out the door and to keep them together while she stood. Again, she regretted the promise she'd made Bonnie that she'd wear a dress or skirt tonight.

He offered her his arm, and it took her a moment to realize that she was supposed to put her arm in his for the walk to the door. As she walked beside him, she wondered at the size difference between the two of them. Jack had almost always been taller than his friends. Being so close to someone so much taller than her was a very new experience. Since her Transformation, she mostly spent time with her Mom and with Bonnie, and they were shorter than she was. Even on the team, only a few of the girls were really taller than she was and she did not get all that close to them.

They entered the darkened, noisy gym. The music was loud and the kids were louder. Marcus said something to her and she could not hear him. He yelled in her ear "Do.... You.... Want.....to.....Dance?"

Hell no, she thought frantically. Swallowing hard, she looked at the dance floor and realized it was the fast kind of dance kids like, with very little body contact. Closing her eyes, she nodded her agreement. He gently took her hand and led her out into the milling throng of dancing kids.

Dancing was a little harder than she remembered from her boy- days. First, she was in heels, and no matter how low they were, they *were* heels. She made sure she kept her balance first and the beat second. Besides, the rapid, athletic style of movement she had preferred on the dance floor as Jack did not suit her current stature, build or dress.

Surreptitiously, she glanced around at the nearby dancers until she found another girl dressed in heels and a skirt dancing nearby. Using the girl as her model, Jacqui began learning how to dance like the girl she was instead of the boy she had been.

We forgot this part of it, Mom, she thought ruefully, and then another, scarier thought hit. Whatever was she going to do when they started slow dancing? What little of that she'd done, she'd done as a guy and guys led. Should she claim not to know how to dance that way?

The turn of her mind kept her from really enjoying the dancing. When that set ended, she asked (yelled) if they could take a short respite so she could go to the lady's room. On the way there, Bonnie intercepted her, so the two girls went in together.

"How's it going, girl? Isn't he a great guy?" Bonnie bubbled, trying to figure out how it was *really* going.

"It's okay, I guess. I don't know how to dance, but I am faking it on the hip-hop stuff. Don't know what I am gonna do when we slow dance."

Bonnie grinned easily, trying to relax the girl. "That's easy. Just hold on to him, go where he pulls you, and try to keep your feet out from under his."

Remembering Jack's own attempts at crushing a girl's toe, Jacqui laughed nervously. Maybe that was all it would take. "Well, I will try, but if he hits the same toe three times, I will accidentally nail his little toe with my heel," He remembered a girl doing that to Jack, too.

Bonnie came out of the stall and finished refreshing her makeup. "Aren't you going to use the convenience? It is going to be a long night."

Jacqui simply shook her head and rubbed her belly with one hand as she moved to the door. "Can't. All locked in," and she sailed out into the hall where Marcus awaited her anxiously.

"Locked in?" Bronwyn asked herself and then thought, Laurie, what have you done? Her own date, Jeremy was waiting for her. She'd have to talk to her young charge again later to find out what the story was.

In the end, it was a case of the "best laid plans of mice, men and witches oft times go a leigh," Bronwyn never caught up with Jacqui again that night, having to use some mighty quick foot work to keep her own toes intact. She saw Jacqui leaving on Marcus' arm as the teachers began to herd the kids out so that they could go home, too. At least she had been smiling up at the boy as they walked to the car. Now, if only the last "good night" went well.

Once she had talked with Bonnie, Jacqui had stopped fretting so much. The girdle, for all the discomfort it caused her, would be ample protection against any improprieties she did not welcome. The music was great and she'd always loved dancing. Even the slow dancing was okay, and toward the end of that, she had decided that being held close against a big strong warm body had possibilities she had not considered before. And Marcus had not stepped on her toes even once. He was a much better dancer than she was or than Jack had ever been.

The evening had flown by. When the two of them weren't dancing, they would step out into the hall for refreshment or a chat. She discovered that Marcus was an English Major, which explained why she did not see him in her science-oriented classes, and that he was going to Washington State for college. He wrestled instead of playing basketball, and he liked tennis for recreation. It was also very obvious that he liked Jacqui, too, and surprisingly, that did not bother her as she had thought it would. Eventually, the dance had come to a close and with that had ended her short idyll. Now, driving back toward the sanctuary of her house, she started worrying about the kiss Bonnie had insisted she bestow on her gallant escort.

Do girls really kiss on the first date, she thought in a mild panic. Bonnie had insisted that they do. "It is only four lips touching, idiot. You and I do it all the time. You seem to like it well enough," Had been Bonnie's scathing comment when Jacqui had initially bridled at the idea of kissing Marcus. Yeah, Bonnie, but you are a girl and he's a boy, and part of me still thinks like a boy.

In the end, she convinced herself that she would "tough it out". As he had at the school, Marcus had nearly fallen in his dash to open her car door when they pulled up next to the darkened house. There were no interior lights on, but Mum had left the porch light on for her. Jacqui managed a more dignified exit from the car this time and found herself standing very close to Marcus once she gained her feet. His hand still held hers as she looked up into his face. She had no where to go, just then, for the car blocked her retreat and his body blocked her advance. This, then, was her moment of truth.

By now, Jacqui had a reading on Marcus and knew him to be a decent and gentle guy. All she had to do was let him know that he was too damned close and pushing too hard for a first date and he'd back off in an instant. But she'd promised Bonnie. . .

Shyly, she rose up on her tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, Marcus," her whisper was raspy with her nerves. "I had a wonderful time."

Taking her kiss as an invitation, Marcus clumsily wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. He brought his lips down on to hers and made a very sloppy attempt at a more intimate, mature kiss. His tongue swept her lips. Involuntarily, her arms came up around his neck and she returned the kiss, dueling with her own tongue.

A dog barking next door startled the two deeply involved teens and they broke apart. Staring at one another, they simply stood there unmoving for several seconds. Finally, Jacqui broke the silence. "I should be going in."

"I will walk you to the door," Marcus answered, his tone brooking no argument. She gave him her arm and allowed herself to be led to the door.

She took her key from her purse and then unlocked and opened the door. She started to go in, when she stopped suddenly and moved up to kiss him once more, this time on the mouth. "Good night, Marcus. Thank you again."

Shocked at herself, Jacqui quickly closed the door and all but ran up the stairs to her room, not seeing the smiling Laurie standing in the deep shadows of the darkened front room. Well, Bronwyn, she thought happily, looks like you won your gamble again. Very pleased with the night's work, Laurie settled herself on the couch to wait for her daughter to fall asleep. No sense letting the girl know that her Mom had been watching out for her when she was being so brave.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

5 months 4 almost 5 days A. T.

I have survived my first date with a boy with my virtue and sanity intact. Actually, it was a really good time once I stopped worrying about being a girl and just had some fun. If I was going to write like a girl, I would say that Marcus was sweet. Well, he was, Jack. I did not even need that blasted foundation garment from hell Mom found for me. Having it was nice, though. I felt much safer in it when I left for the dance. I am not sure I would have been able to get out of the house without it, unless I wore pants.

I, Jacqui Donovan, do hereby swear that I will not let Bonnie Davis talk me into any more promises that scare the hell out of me. Wearing skirts to dances. Going out with boys. Kissing boys. God, what will the girl come up with next?

Actually, the kissing wasn't so bad. He was really shy about it. I think if I had said "boo" to him, he'd have fainted. The strange thing is that I *think* I was really the one in control. Or I was until my brain shutdown. Good thing that dog barked or I might have been trying to figure out how to get out of that panty girdle.

Now there is a very honest and very scary bit of truth. Mom told me that Transformation Spell she cast has given me, now how shall I put this delicately? - an enhanced enthusiasm for sexual adventure. More bluntly put, I am going to have to be very careful in the future because as I found out tonight, I have tendencies toward being easy.

Being smaller than a guy has some distinctly interesting aspects to it. For one thing, I felt. . . .protected(?) by him when he held me tonight. New feeling for me because I have never felt anything like it before. Not a bad feeling, I think, just different.

Well, if he asks me out again, I am going to go. I am going to have to think about that damned panty girdle, though. Might be smart to wear it a few more times, particularly if he kisses like that all the time. I am going to have to find out if that was beginner's luck, I think.

He has nice eyes. I like him.

Damn, Bonnie is going to crow about this. She was so sure she was right. The fact that she was makes me want to spit. Can't she be wrong about this girl stuff - just once so I will know she is human?

End Journal entry.

****************

Bronwyn sipped the tea that Laurie had prepared. "So the "locked in" was a girdle? And she wore it because she did not feel safe in that dress? Lord, Laurel, she did not have to wear something that provocative just because I made her promise not to wear trousers. Couldn't you talk her into something in between?"

"She... uh, she doesn't have anything "in-between", Bron. That was chosen as the longest skirt she has. I must admit that I have gone overboard making her dress like a very girly girl when I first outfitted her."

"No lie!" was Bronwyn's emphatic response. "I never knew. She needs other clothes, then, Laurel. She needs women's clothes that she doesn't feel exposed in and that are still obviously feminine."

"I know. I asked her to come shopping with me this weekend. I let her believe it was for me, so we won't be going to the youth oriented boutiques I dragged her to last summer. She'll relax and we will find things she likes wearing, hopefully," Laurie sipped her own tea. "She liked the kiss, by the way. She would not come right out and say it, but by the scarlet blush that covered her when I asked about it, she must have liked it a lot."

"Good. That bit of self-knowledge should help her. How is her training coming?"

"Great. She just soaks it up, and she has a very gentle touch with healing," A sly grin stole across her features. "My periods have not been this easy since my own Mother passed over. She is also very strong. And she anticipates knowledge. By that I mean she is very intuitive. Sometimes I think she already knows what it is I intend to teach her."

"What about other magic? Illusions and such?"

"I haven't started those yet. As you know, those skills are not the strengths of my craft and I have been practicing them first. It is too bad she can't take that teaching from you. I think you would do much better with her than I will in those areas."

"Two problems with that. One, the Sisterhood tradition is that a Mother teaches her Transformed child. I could get around that one, but the other one is a harder nut. If she is intuitive as you say she is, I don't want her around Bronwyn Llewellyn enough to see something that reminds her of Bonnie Davis. Not yet, anyway. That is reason I have not been around here as often lately."

"True. I'll start in a couple of months. There is time. What is on your agenda for her?"

"More boy-stuff. She needs to keep exploring that aspect of her personality and it is best that I help keep young Marcus on a fairly tight leash for her. I may have done my work too well with him, because I think he is falling for our Jacqui and falling hard."

"Is that a problem? It was nice when the boy who gave me Jack liked me a lot."

"Not a problem, but your impregnator was on his way to the Middle East for that Beirut thing and you were able to move away and disappear after you "caught". Marcus is going to want to marry the girl. It is the way his mind works. He is the honorable, responsible sort. We'll just have to move the two of you somewhere else if he does become the one who gives her the baby she will need to master the Transformation Spell."

Laurie's shoulders slumped a bit at that news. "I have liked living here, but if that is what is best for Jacqui, then we will move." It was a long-standing tradition with the Sisterhood that the fathers of their children never knew of their existence. Men tended to take a dim view of their sons suddenly being Transformed into daughters. In most cases, the Sisters arranged "accidents" so that they could "die". Then, they would alter their appearance and move elsewhere to raise their child and to continue the Sisterhood.

"Well, no need to do anything about it right away. He is good for her right now, and she evidently likes him. She may find someone else while he is away at college. We will wait and see for now."

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

6 months, 2 days A. T.

This intuition stuff is really starting to get to me, again. When is something intuition and when is it paranoia??

Case in point. Mom's friend Bronwyn. When I first met her, she said she wanted to be my friend, but lately it seems that whenever I get home and she is here, she immediately has to leave. Like I said... Paranoia, probably.

But it just keeps . . . . tickling at me. And I have this deja vu kind of sensation. It sounds like one of Jack's tired old lines, but I feel like asking her if we've met before. We probably have, now that I think about it. She is an old college chum of Mom's which means I might have met her years ago, when I was really little.

It is just that this intuition thing is so bloody nebulous. It's there and it's not. You *feel* something, and then when you look for whatever it is, there is nothing to *look* at. I feel like I am searching for the monster under the bed, sometimes.

On a similar issue, I have been playing chess with Marcus. He is a fairly good player for an English major. No match for Jack, but more than good enough to give Jacqui a run for her money. I don't think I am going to repeat as school district chess champion. I can beat Marcus, usually, and I always clobber him when we play a speed game.

I have spent a bit of time analyzing my game lately. Fortunately, my memory is still nearly eidetic, so I have reconstructed all my games. My openings and my end games are just fine. In fact, my end game, if anything, is better. I seem to have this killer instinct that I did not have before. Maybe the female is deadlier than the male.

It is the middle game where I get into trouble. If I can't clear the board quickly and force a confrontation; if my opponent forces a strategic battle for position with an eye towards winning by a pawn or some such, I get beaten pretty much every time. Holding more than three or four moves in my head now is really difficult. I seem to find too many other things to attract my attention. The other problem is that I am *slow* in that situation. I would have defaulted one game on time limit if my opponent at the chess club had not put me out of my misery on his previous move.

No, the only reason I will be in the tournament in March is because I am defending champion. The players at school now know better than to get into a speed match with me and the ones with a mature middle game can cripple my end game thrusts.

Oh well.

End Journal Entry

A Change of Direction Chapter 17

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

6 months, 18 days A. T.

Well, I guess I am a real witch now. I have used magic for real on someone other than Mum. One of my teammates twisted wrong on her leg in practice today, and one of the bones in her calf just splintered. What is it they call it when the bone goes through the skin? I think it is called a compound fracture.

Anyway, Tamika was just screaming and writhing. The coach could not keep her still, and the blood was just everywhere. We found out later she had cut a blood vessel.

I linked with her. Yes, Jack, I did remember to shield. I was able to ease her pain enough that she quit screaming, and I was able to nearly stop the bleeding. Besides the healing arts, once I had her stilled, I used direct pressure on the bleeding, too. That is what the paramedics think saved her. Maybe it did, too, but I could not have done that if she'd still been flopping on the floor like landed fish.

She's going to be all right. Only problem is that I have not yet been able to deal with the pain myself. Broken legs hurt like a bitch, at least that one did. I don't know how I made it to the car after practice.

Thank Goodness Bonnie was there and offered to drive. Just the thought of pressing on the accelerator makes my leg hurt.

I like Tamika. I am glad I could help her.

Odd how things work out. If I had not been Transformed, Tamika might well have died. And speaking of Transforming, I have not heard much on that subject from Mom, lately. I guess I proved today that I have learned my healing lessons pretty well. I just wish I had a better idea what the rest of the "lessons" are before I can learn the Transformation Spell.

I am still convinced it has something to do with sex, and more to the point, sex with a guy.

Why do I think that closing my eyes and thinking of England won't get the job done, either. Maybe because I know my Mother a bit better than Jack ever did.

End Journal Entry.

********************

"She'll be fine, Bronwyn. It is just post healing stress. A good night's sleep and the bulk of the trauma she inflicted on herself will be dealt with."

Bronwyn, still in Bonnie's skin, took a shaky sip of her tea. "Goddess, I was so scared. I felt her link, and immediately knew she was going after a potentially fatal injury. I tried to inhibit her, but she was too strong. Thank the light that she shielded herself."

"You weren't able to break her linkage?" That bit of news surprised Laurie.

Bronwyn shook her head emphatically. "No way. Might have been able to stop her from making the initial link, but once she had it, there was nothing I could do. She is definitely her Mother's daughter so far as her healing talents go," She took another sip of tea, her hands steadier now. "I am *very* glad we had you start her training when we did."

"So am I, dear friend, so am I," said Laurie as she considered the danger of that day's linkage. "On another subject. Have you had a chance to peak at her diary lately?"

"No, not in the past couple of weeks anyway," Bronwyn's eyes unfocused, momentarily. "Nothing much in the past few days, other than she is happy she could help her friend. Maybe that will be something we can build on - that Jacqui could help, but Jack would not have been able to," Bronwyn decided to keep Jacqui's speculations on the Transformation Spell to herself. Let Laurie be proud of her pupil without feeling sad about the probable loss of her daughter.

Hope niggled at Laurie, but she tamped it back down. It was Jacqui's decision, now, and only her decision. She had promised that and she would keep her promise.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

7 months, 8 days A. T.

Okay, so how do I write *this* one down? The facts, ma'am, just give us the facts.

Marcus and I went out tonight to a little party given by one of my teammates. End of the season sort of thing - girls bring a snack to share and the date of their choice. Well, I got this wild idea to pick up Marcus instead of the other way around. Mom was not best pleased (not lady-like enough, I guess), but she went along with it in the end.

I put on that great new party dress she bought me last month. The knee length skirt looks great on me, especially with the special silky stockings I talked Mom into buying. Marcus really thought so, anyway.

I picked him up in Mom's car - her car has bench seats in the front so I could let him drive and then cuddle up to him like I can't in either of our cars.

The party was great. We danced and talked with other kids, and then we danced some more.

You know, this is the first date I have been on where Bonnie was not at least in the vicinity. She is not on the team so she did not get invited.

Anyway, after the party, we went off and *parked*. We really steamed the windows there for a while. It would have gone a lot further than it did, except I still wasn't brave enough to venture forth without Mom's girdle on me. Poor Marcus was really in a bad way, though. I could tell from how . . . tight his slacks were around his pants fly. I remembered from personal experience just how hard that is on a guy, and was going to tell him to take me home. You know, so he could go home and deal with that painful swelling like Jack used to after a date. Merry Hand and her sisters, again.

But then I thought, hey, I probably know as much about doing that as he does, and he has been such a nice guy, and wouldn't it have been great if one of my girls had helped me reduce my swelling back when I was Jack? After all, I caused it, didn't I? And Mom says I *am* a healer.

Before he could start the car, I was back on him, kissing him the way I know drives him crazy. He reacted as I expected. His arms came around my back (I think that is so he won't be tempted to cop a feel - sometimes he's just *too* nice. I wonder what that feels like. Is it different when a guy does it than when Bonnie does it?) Anyway, he started kissing me back.

Seventeen years of experience with one of my own had his zipper down before he knew what was happening. I wasn't quite so deft getting his cock out of there, but he wasn't exactly fighting me, so it got done.

He's pretty big. My hands are a lot smaller than Jack's, but I think he is a little longer and maybe a bit thicker than Jack used to be. He was also *very* excited because he came very quickly. I felt very smug about the whole thing. He was a little dazed, but very, very happy, particularly when I hinted that because of my "time of the month", he would not have reciprocate. I don't think Marcus has any more real experience with pleasuring girls than I, excuse me, than Jack did. Looks like it is Merry Hand for me tonight, after all.

One thing though. What *does* a girl do with that slimy stuff on her hand afterwards? Luckily, Mom had some tissues in the glove compartment of her car. Guess I might need some in my purse from now on. To think I used to do that to myself every chance I got - when I was Jack, that is. Yuck.

End of Journal Entry

*************

Bonnie silently crept into Laurie's room once Jacqui had fallen asleep of sensual exhaustion. "Laurel, wake up! You will never guess."

"Hmmm? Wha.," Laurie suddenly realized who it was. "Bronwyn! What is it" Is something wrong? Why aren't you in bed with Jacqui?"

"Nothing's wrong. Just listen. In her journal? She masturbated her boyfriend to an orgasm the other night. Liked doing it, too, she did," Bonnie was beaming with pride in her young charge. "I bet she's planning to gloat about doing it on her own if I tried to convince her it was an easy next step."

"Now what do we do?" Laurie whispered. "She is still not ready to make love, yet. I am pretty sure she does not yet accept what I told her about the effectiveness of birth control for Transformed women. I think she is still operating under the misconception that taking those little pills every day is going to make a difference if she ever makes love with a man."

"No problem. I am still inhibiting Marcus. If they try to go all the way, he won't be able to maintain an erection. I will figure out how to keep that from doing any long term damage to either of them when it happens, but for now, that is our failsafe,"

"Precocious little minx, isn't she? Only six months old and already a bit of a vamp," Laurie giggled to her friend.

"But only in the nicest sense of the word, you round-heeled wench. How could she be anything else when she is *your* daughter? Anyway, our plan is working. She is no longer thought of as a tease at school and she is becoming more femininely confident every day. I got to get back. Just wanted you to know."

 

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

8 months, 16 days A. T.

It is official. I am going to the Prom next month as the best girl. At least, I am going as Marcus' best girl. He asked me tonight and I said yes. Bonnie would insist, anyhow, and besides I might as well admit it. I want to go and moreover, I want to go with Marcus.

He's been pretty great as boyfriends go. I know Jack would not have been so easily satisfied by the occasional hand job after going steady with a girl for nearly 3 months. He likes me and he listens to me. From what I can gather from the other girls I have been palling around with, that is pretty unusual. Was I, excuse me, was Jack that clueless about what was going on in a girl's head when he was dating them? Probably. Nothing like walking a mile in someone else's high heels. Damn, but it has already been such a very long mile. Oh well, just think how much in demand the new, more girl- smart Jack Donovan will be with all the ladies once I get myself back into my own skin, again.

You know? I think I will make my age just right to go after Bonnie when I Transform back. I love her. A lot. I don't want to lose her when I go back to being a guy, and I have the advantage of knowing exactly what makes her happy, too. She won't ever know what hit her.

Anyway, I was really pleased when he asked me. So was Mom when I told her, only now, I wish I had kept it to myself. She is gearing up for another mammoth shopping expedition only this time, she says we are looking for *the* dress so it may take more than one day of shopping. HELP!!! Why do women *like* shopping? And if they have to shop, why does it have to take *all day long*??? It's only another dress.

Well, maybe not. Marcus deserves a little treat for being such a pal through all this. I want to knock his eyes out and have him tripping over his tongue that night. One thing's for sure, we are going to the places we went after Christmas and not those places Mom took me to right after the Transformation. We are talking classy, elegant, understated sexiness, not brass and flash.

Good grief, what am I saying??

Oh, and another thing, Mom has started to teach me how to dance. Real dancing - waltzing, cheek-to-cheek, guy holding girl real close - that kind of stuff. Its kind of fun. She says I should invite Marcus over so he can partner me in my lessons. Hell, I am going to invite him over so he can learn to dance, too. Mom has said I need to learn to dance in real high heels for the prom, so Marcus needs to learn to dance or he will learn to fear for his feet.

It feels good not to be so angry anymore. I have come to accept that what Mom did, she did out of love. It is not her fault that I did not want the gift she wanted to give. Having her so pleased tonight, wanting to help so badly with the Prom stuff . . . it was special - sort of like the old days when it was just Mom and Jack, only different. Maybe even better. She is trying so hard.

Tomorrow's a big day, too. I defend my chess championship. Since I know I am unlikely to win, I am somewhat more relaxed than I might otherwise be tonight. Last year, Jack did not sleep for three nights before the tournament. The one-hour time limit on the preliminaries should favor me, but the two-hour limit for the rest of the matches means there are likely to be middle games. I would like to place, though.

End of Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

8 months, 18 days A. T.

Tournament is over. I took fifth place overall. Highest finishing girl, too, so that is something.

As I predicted, I managed to win my prelims fairly handily. In both cases, I sacrificed my queen before blasting their defenses with a rook/knight attack. Less than twenty moves in both games. I won my first match in the bracket by teasing my opponent into playing too fast. Again, it was over pretty quickly and without any significant position play.

I lost in the quarterfinals to the kid who won my school's championship. He knows me well enough that he forced a long, almost forty-move game, and beat me in the middle game. Word got out pretty fast after that not to let me get up a head of steam, and I lost 2 of 3 matches in the consolation bracket. Beat another girl in the match that I won to take fifth place.

Still, I am pretty pleased with myself.

End Journal entry.

*******************

Laurie found Jacqui in her little library, staring at her chessboard. The fifth place medal rested in the center of the board among the massed black and white forces. She looked up and smiled at her Mother. "Hi, Mum."

Laurie pulled up another chair and settled beside the girl. Putting an arm around her shoulder, she asked. "Are you very disappointed that you did not repeat as champion?"

Jacqui leaned over and snatched up the medal by the neck ribbon and examined it closely. Finally, she sighed. "No, not really. Truthfully, I did not expect to win - especially once I saw that I could no longer manage the middle game," her brows furrowed. "Mom, I know I have asked this before, but why can't I think anymore? Like I used to? Why is it so hard to concentrate?"

Laurie started to repeat her evolutionary explanation, but remembered a recent incident where Jacqui had helped her with a computer printer problem. Maybe she would understand that more easily. "Remember the other day when I called you in to help me in my office? I was printing out something at the time, and I was angry because something was wrong with my computer. The screen was not keeping up with my typing," A soft indulgent smile flickered across Jacqui's face. "You were printing in background and trying to type at the same time."

Whatever that means, Laurie thought, then continued. "Right, and you explained that by trying to print that way, I was asking the computer to do two processes at once, but that since there was only one CPU, or computer brain, both happened slower. I had a choice, you said. I could do both at once and accept the slowdown, or I could do only one at a time. I could print faster or type faster, but could not do them both simultaneously."

"The program is effectively on hold until the CPU is done with the print job," Jacqui put in.

"Exactly. Well, the program being on hold is the way you thought as a male, dear. Anything that was extraneous to what you were focused on simply ceased to exist for you. Women don't get that choice, luv. Your brain is going to process those little subliminal clues in addition to the overt information you are working with. That is the way you are wired, now, and unlike my computer, you cannot turn that on and off to suit you. Since you still have only one brain, though, so your intuitive thinking uses part of your brainpower and effectively "slows" down your beloved rational logic. I would say that it also affects the amount of memory and other resources you can apply to that kind of serial thinking."

The girl seemed to consider this, then grinned. "Makes sense to me. No upgrades available for this CPU, either," She thought for a moment more. "You know. . . .The intuition thing is probably part of the reason I am so much better in end game, now. Some instinct seems to point at my opponent's weakness."

"A very good thing for a woman to be able to do, considering that males are usually much stronger. Evolution again."

"It is all so strange, Mum. So much of what I used to think of as being "me" is changed, and it is not just physical."

Laurie smiled gently. "Darling, being a woman is much, much more than just the physical," She leaned over and kissed the girl on her cheek. "I would say you have learned quite a bit that will help you, dear, and learned it very well, indeed."

Jacqui became very quiet at that. She stared again at her chessmen, and then at the medal she still held in her hand. Then she smiled, and leaned her head on her Mother's shoulder. For now, that was good enough for both women.

 

 

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

8 months, 24 days A. T.

We found the dress, but it has to be fitted. Do you know what that means? It means that some female with pins in her mouth jabs them into various tender portions of my anatomy. I told her that she was trying to fit it to me, not nail it to me. The bitch only jabbed me harder the next time. I told Mom that if there is one speck of blood on that dress, we are not paying for it and I get something off the rack.

Then she told me that I had two, maybe three more fittings before the dance.

ARRRGGGGHHH!

End of Journal Entry

*******************

"I couldn't believe it, Bronwyn. *She* picked out the dress and it is *perfect* on her. I would have had her in something slinkier, perhaps younger looking, but Goddess, she looks positively dangerous in this."

"Well, that is something positive. Her journal still discusses going back to being Jack," and Bronwyn was *not* going to discuss what was currently motivating the girl with her Mother. Maybe Bonnie was becoming *too* important to Jacqui. "but as long as she is enjoying her little feminine adventures, we can still hold out hope for her eventual acceptance of womanhood."

"It is so sad that she did not become as we did after our own Transformation. All of us are losing out on so much because of the way she feels."

Bronwyn nodded. "I think it may have been because she was Transformed without ever having made love as a man. Neither of us were virgins at the time of our entry into womanhood, but Jack was. I think Jacqui resents that most of all, and it may be why the enchantment did not ease the way for him as we thought it should have. Our research Sisters are exploring that possibility so that we can try and avoid further occurrences this in the future."

Laurie just shook her head. "It is hard to believe that some smart girl never tripped up my gorgeous, strong son and had her wicked way with him before that time. What is wrong with these girls of today, Bronwyn?" she asked facetiously.

"AIDS for one thing," she said quietly. "Every smart girl knows that a broken condom can hold more than babies for her, now. Besides, your son had a very full plate. Between sports and schoolwork, he did not have a lot of time to spend on a girl, getting her to where she was confident enough of him that he was worth the risk. I think those girls missed out, but that is water over the dam, now," "Are you going to the Prom, dear?" Laurie's eyes were twinkling at her friend.

"Of course. He's a lovely boy and has done his tasks very nicely," She grinned hungrily. "He might even get very lucky afterwards as a reward. The exuberance and stamina of youth make for an . . .interesting possibility or two. Should be a lot of fun. Too bad he won't remember it once I no longer need to be Bonnie," She sighed in mock dismay. "Still, the training I will give him will stand him in good stead. Some girl will be very fortunate once she catches him after I am done with him," Both women started laughing at that and they moved on to other, more mundane topics.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months, 2 days A. T.

What is worse than a dress-fitting at the hands of the very sadistic Attila the Bun-sticker? A dress-fitting with that evil bitch when you are also dealing a rough first day of your period. The only thing that kept me going was the image of losing my lunch all over her blue tinted hair and the only thing that kept me swallowing hard not to do just that was the off chance I might miss and ruin my dress. End of Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months, 5 days A. T.

I can't help wondering what I did to offend Mom's friend Bronwyn. I am *not* imagining that she is avoiding me. She and Mom were deep in some little tete-a-tete this evening when I got home from visiting Tamika. Ten minutes later, she remembers an important engagement and is off.

That little niggle sense Mum says I am supposed to pay attention to is going crazy.

And another thing, when I said good bye to her, it was on the tip of my tongue to call her something other than Ms. Llewellyn, only whatever that was slipped into that nebulous part of my head that works in "background".

Whatever it is, she is Mum's friend, and I need to fix whatever is wrong if it is something I have done. Mum has a hard enough time dealing with her gender-confused child. She does not need to lose a friend, too.

After the Prom, I think. Now all I have to do is figure out how to get five minutes alone with the woman without her turning tail and running for cover. It was *much* easier to deal with stuff like this as a guy. "Hey you" doesn't seem to work when you are only five feet six inches tall and a 120 lbs.

End Journal Entry

****************

Bronwyn, in her guise as Bonnie, was sitting in Jacqui's library watching the girl work her own brand of magic with the top-of-the-line PC on her desk. It fascinated Bronwyn to see how easily her young friend found useful information with her computer, or how quickly she did very complicated calculations and reports on it. While she wasn't actually computer-phobic, Bronwyn's use of a computer was mostly limited to word processing in her "real-life" career as a novelist.

Now that she thought about it, very few of the Sisterhood's members were technically oriented. Almost all of them were of a more . . . humanistic bent in their mental workings. What was that, left or right brained? Bronwyn couldn't remember, but whichever side of the brain that dominated her thinking, it was pretty clear that the opposite side was foremost with the novice witch in front of the computer. She was staring at the screen like it was a crystal ball. All Bronwyn could see was line after line of totally incomprehensible and unrelated letters and numbers scrolling down the screen. Finally, Jacqui sat back in her chair, a smile on her face. "That's got it," she said with evident satisfaction.

Bronwyn did not see anything on the screen that was at all different from when Jacqui had declared it was a problem, and said as much. "Oh ye of little faith," Jacqui intoned, and then made a blazing-fast series of keystrokes before hitting the enter key with a maestro's flourish. The screen went dark for a second or two before a picture of Bonnie and Jacqui smiled up out of the screen.

"I don't know how you did that, since I know we never posed together for that picture," She held up her hand to forestall the expected explanation that she would not understand anyway. "I *don't* want to know," she grinned down at her friend. Was it possible that Jacqui's technical mindset was another piece of the puzzle of why she fought her Transformation so hard? Was there something in the way the dominant side of her brain worked that made the reality of what happened to her so . . . difficult for her to accept? She'd have to run that by the research team, too. Whatever else came of this, the Sisterhood was *not* going to go through so painful a Transformation transition again.

"So, you all ready for the Prom?" she asked nonchalantly.

Jacqui's attention was back on the screen, working on some other confusing list of equations and expressions. "Guess so. The dress is done, thank goodness. Most of the pinholes in me are even healed. I have had the shoes for a couple of weeks now, and a good thing, too. I would have been lame in an hour if I hadn't practiced walking in those stilts for the past few days. How about you?"

"Oh, yeah. My mom finished making my dress the other day," Another member of the Sisterhood had been drafted to act as Bonnie's Mom on those days when one had been needed. Now, she made a useful opening for a gambit that Bronwyn hoped would work out for Jacqui and for Laurie. "We are going to make a day of it, getting me ready for the big night. She is even borrowing a video camera so she can record the whole day. She is more excited than I am," Bronwyn let the hook dangle in front of her prize fish and just wiggled the bait a bit.

Frowning, Jacqui turned to face her best friend. "Your Mom? She's going to help you get ready? And it's going to take all day?"

Here little fishy, Bronwyn thought, just take a itty-bitty taste. I promise you will just love it. "You bet. She practically begged me to let her do it. It is going to be great. She is going to spend the day pampering me and I am going to look fabulous when she is done. And Jeremy is going to go nuts when he sees me," She preened for her audience because she knew she had Jacqui's complete attention. "Yeah, it is going to be really great."

Jacqui sat there, her hands unmoving on the keyboard. "You say that Moms really like doing that kind of stuff?"

Gotcha! Bronwyn thought with a hidden smile. Time to reel this prize in. "Yep. It is a special time for Moms, seeing their daughters all turned out and helping them get ready. Except for her daughter's wedding day, I think Prom Night is the most special time a Mom ever shares with her daughter."

"Really," Jacqui said distractedly. Then, she shook herself and returned her attention to the computer program on her screen. "Well, let's get this done so we can go get some dinner." And she started typing out more of those strange, meaningless symbols.

 

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months, 9 days A. T.

If, as Bonnie assured me, that Prom Night is a special time for Moms - why hasn't mine asked to help beyond the buying of the dress and stuff?

Because she knows how much you hate all this femme-stuff, dummy. Thanks, Jack, I needed that kind reminder.

Only, I don't think I do, anymore.

Not as much anyway. Maybe.

Hell.

End of Journal Entry

A Change of Direction Chapter 18

Jacqui slept late the morning of the Prom. She intentionally did not set her alarm until noon because she knew it was going to be a very late night. She got out of her bed with a bounce and headed for her armoire to get some clothes when she stopped herself. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Sleep ruffled, her tousled mane of hair gave her a look that Jack found very sexy. The long, satiny nightgown hugged her youthful curves like a glove and Jack liked that even more. She sat down, her teeth worrying at her lower lip as she decided if she really was going to do this.

Finally, scolding herself for her lack of conviction, and determined to do what needed to be done, she pulled on the matching, filmy peignoir, her high-heeled slippers and headed down to the kitchen.

Her Mother was doing something at the stove when she came down that smelled wonderful. "About time you got up, lazybones, you have a lot to d. . ," She stopped talking when she turned to face her daughter, surprised at seeing her still in her pretty night clothes. "Uhmm, aren't you afraid you won't be ready in time for Marcus waiting so long to get started?" Heavens, but she was lovely, Laurie thought again. Why couldn't the girl see that and treasure that? "I know you don't think much of the little female rituals, dear, but there is a lot to do to get ready for a special night."

Coughing to clear her throat, Jacqui smiled shyly at her Mother. "Sort of thought there might be, Mum. I was, uhh, wondering if you could help me get ready?" The dumbfounded and unabashed hope that lit her Mother's eyes made Jacqui's insides hurt. Quickly, she rushed on, otherwise one or both of them would be crying. "I, uh, still don't know how to do up my hair and face as well as you do, and I was thinking, maybe you'd take some video of the whole shebang? I might want. . . memories . . . later," She'd almost said "when I am a man again, but had stopped herself just in time. That would start the hurting again."

A painfully joyous smile lit Laurie's face. "I could do that," she whispered. "I would really like to do that," She added. Then, before she could start bawling, Laurie spun back to the stove. "I am making your favorite breakfast of blueberry pancakes. I don't expect you will want to eat later today. So, sit yourself down. You will need nourishment if I'm going to be getting you ready."

"What ever have I let myself in for?" Jacqui laughed as she settled into the chair with a swirl of silk. Thank you, Bonnie, she thought. Thank you very much.

Jacqui was not *quite* so grateful seven hours later as she waited impatiently for the arrival of her date. Laurie had been a taskmistress of the first order from the moment she had set the stack of pancakes in front of her daughter.

Jacqui had been sent back to her bath twice to re-shave her legs. "The stockings are real silk, dear. We don't want pulls, now do we?" she'd asked ever so sweetly.

Then there was the four or five attempts to get her nail color *just* right, or the three different hair arrangements or the untold different makeup attempts. "You do want it to be perfect, don't you darling?" And of course, Jacqui did, for her Mom as much or more than for herself.

One problem, however, had been Laurie's quite literal interpretation of "videotaping the whole shebang". Jacqui had good naturedly chased her Mother out of the bathroom when she was getting ready for her soak in the tub, but she had needed to put her foot down when Laurie reached for the camcorder as Jacqui prepared to put on her lingerie. "Mom! I might want to share this with someone other than family someday, okay? Let's try not to turn it into a reverse strip tease?"

That had earned an embarrassed laugh from Laurie who had then, reluctantly, put down the camera to help her daughter put on the slinky wisps of satin and silk they'd bought to go with the dress. Looking at herself in the mirror as she stood there, arrayed in a red silk camisole and matching thong panties set, Jacqui thought it would be nice to have some lingerie shots of herself when she was Jack again. Although, she admitted, there would be something perverse about getting horny looking at the picture of a girl while knowing that you had been the girl.

Finally, they put on the dress. Made of shimmering red and black silks, the design of the calf length, off the shoulder formal dress had been derived from Romany styles. The vivid colors accented Jacqui's complexion and the tightly fitted bodice was cut to show just the right amount of creamy breast and cleavage. The tight waist flowed into a full skirt that would swirl teasingly as Jacqui danced and spun about the floor. With her hair teased full and tied off in a bright red satin bandanna, the large, clip-on (she'd still paled at the thought of getting her ears pierced) earrings, and her Mother's cosmetic artistry, Jacqui was done over into the living image of her gypsy Great Great Great Grandmother.

The final scene in Laurie's video production was a shot of the stunned stare on Marcus's face as he watched Jacqui slowly, regally descend the stairs. Jacqui's quick kiss and "Thanks for everything, Mom," finally sent Laurie over the edge. She spent the rest of her night watching the video of *their* day together again and again, weeping happily over each unexpected, precious gift her daughter had surprised her with this day.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months 12 days A. T.

What a remarkable day yesterday was. I feel like Eliza Doolittle. "...I could have danced all night..."

The Prom was a lot of fun, particularly since both Marcus and I knew how to really dance.

And I am feeling very smug and righteous about doing the girl- thing with Mom yesterday. I may not have been born or meant to be a girl, and I am not likely to stay one any longer than I have to, but Jacqui made Mom happy yesterday. And it wasn't so very difficult. Maybe if I do things like that a little more often with her, fight her on things like that a little less, it won't be so hard on her when she no longer has Jacqui. Maybe.

I also went a lot farther with Marcus yesterday than I ever intended to go. I went down on him. Yes, that is what I said. I, Jacqueline Donovan, formerly Jack Donovan, am now *officially* a cocksucker. Actually, that is really a crude term for something that made me feel pretty good inside because it made Marcus feel so good.

It was nothing like I expected it to be. Sort of hard and sort of velvety soft, all at the same time. As to the taste, well, it was just sort of salty. In all honesty, I am not really sure why I did it. It started out to be another hand job, but I was just so . . .so high after the dancing and the music, and he'd just been so great to me, I just sort of gave him a little kiss on his little head while a stroked his erection. Next thing I knew, I had the whole head in my mouth and he was groaning like he was in heaven. The way he responded to what I did with my mouth made me feel so incredibly powerful, so very, very strong. I never remember feeling that kind of power when I was Jack. Made my panties rather damp, actually.

Marcus wasn't shy about kissing me afterwards, either. No silly worries about being a cocksucker by proxy in my lad, and he told me he understands about me not being ready to "go all the way". Says he wants to learn to "do the same thing" for me. Does a guy do it differently than a girl, like Bonnie, does it? In any case, I think I will keep him, at least as long as I am Jacqui. He is really a good guy. I wonder if we would have been friends if I had met him as Jack? He's not into the same sports as I am... was.

And on a very positive note - *if* as I suspect, that making love with a guy is a critical step in my "acclimating as a woman" - I don't think that is quite so far out of the question, now. It still makes my stomach a bit queasy, but it is "butterflies in the tummy" queasy and not "oh god, not that" queasy. It is still a bit scary, but I think I can see my way clear to overcoming that particular road block to learning the Transformation Spell.

All things considered - It was a lovely day.

End Journal Entry

*************

It was a unusually refreshed and awake Jacqui who came down from her room the next morning. Jacqui was surprised to find her Mother's friend, Bronwyn, sitting in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea, alone. She was even more surprised when Bronwyn did not gulp down her tea and bolt. Maybe I am just over- reacting, she thought.

Still not seeing her Mother, Jacqui greeted Bronwyn with her best smile. "Hi, Ms. Llewellyn. Good morning. Is my Mom around?"

Bronwyn smiled at the girl and offered her some tea. "She had to make a quick run to the store. Something about not having strawberries or some such thing."

Jacqui turned to the stove to get the tea. "Oh, she is planning her special shortcake for dinner, Bonn..," Confused, Jacqui stuttered to a stop and spun to look at Bronwyn. "I mean, Ms. Llewellyn," Something about Bronwyn caught her eye and put her in mind of Bonnie, so she had nearly called her that. But that was silly. Bronwyn was a good four or five inches taller than the pixie tall Bonnie, and she was not nearly as . . . busty as her superbly endowed school friend.

"Is something the matter, Jacqui?" Bronwyn asked, cocking her head to one side.

"N...n.no. Nothing. Just a silly mix--up is all," But that is *just* the way Bonnie holds her head when she is asking me something. Now hold on girl, she thought, what you are thinking is just plain impossible, she told herself sternly, but just as suddenly stopped herself in mid-argument.

Now "impossible" is a mighty strange word for you to be applying to any situation, Jacqueline-who-used-to-be-Jack, she thought. And every instinct you possess is screaming "Bonnie".

Taking a shaky sip of the tea, she told herself to think clearly, and to examine *all* the facts. Who was Bonnie? She only knew what Bonnie had told her. And as soon as Bonnie showed up, things began to get easier for her. Who helped her with clothes and makeup when she was fighting with her Mom? Who helped start healing that breach? Who was always there to give her a little hint or to correct her before she made a humiliatingly masculine error? The answer was always the same. Bonnie. Who found Marcus and all but dared her to go out with him. Again, the answer was Bonnie.

It also made sense that, if Bonnie was really Bronwyn, that maybe she'd decided to play it safe, and keep a low profile around Jacqui.

Was it within her Mother's power to find someone to be her friend and confidante? Would her Mother do anything she could to help her daughter once she realized just how badly the Transformation had gone? The answer to each of those questions was a resounding yes.

Suddenly, all doubts disappeared from Jacqui's mind. If Laurie could Transform Jack into Jacqui, then Bonnie had to be Bronwyn, and Bronwyn was of the coven or whatever it was that group of her Mother's was called themselves. Now, the big question was whether she should be angry about the deception? Hadn't the ruse given her help she needed but would not accept from her Mother?

And then that answer became equally clear to her. She should be angry only if Bonnie/Bronwyn was not really her friend. She'd be angry only if *all* of it had been a deception. Otherwise, Bonnie/Bronwyn was exactly what she seemed to be - the friend she had needed - the very special friend who had always been there for Jacqui whenever she had needed her.

Taking a deep breath to soothe her fluttering stomach, Jacqui looked the older woman straight in the eye. "Hello, Bonnie- love. How are you this morning?"

Bronwyn nearly responded out of habit, without thinking, before it hit her that she wasn't wearing her "Bonnie-skin". Eyeing the girl speculatively, she made a quick assessment of whether she could bluff her way through this or not. A telepathic check of Jacqui's public mind put paid to that idea. The girl was absolutely certain. Somehow, she had taken all the disparate information and put it together into the truth. Impressed by Jacqui's powers of intuition if not her timing, Bronwyn smiled weakly at her friend. "Hello yourself, Jacqui," Suddenly, the reason behind the girl's suddenly greatly enhanced perceptions came to Bronwyn.

Smiling slyly, she said "You must have gone a whole lot further sexually last night than you ever have before," She had decreased the strength of the inhibition that she had imposed on Marcus in preparation for last night. Enough so he could press his suit a little harder, but not so much that he wouldn't take "no" for an answer if it came to that. Still, Bronwyn had not expected much to come of that. She'd *thought* she knew Jacqui well enough to predict how far the girl was ready to go with her fellow. "Well, you sure surprised me. So, tell me. Did you have sex with him?" She did not think she'd reduced the inhibition that far, but Jacqui could be a very inventive little minx when she was turned on, as Bronwyn well knew.

A smug smile lit the lovely face. "That is for me to know, Bonnie-love."

Grinning at her impudence, Bronwyn shook her head. "No, luv, I need to know, and please, call me Bronwyn when I am in this skin. I know it is hard, but it is also safer," If the girl had gone all the way with Marcus, Laurie needed to know now so they could determine if Jacqui had gotten pregnant.

"Thank you," Bronwyn raised an brow in silent demand and Jacqui gave in with a smile. "We didn't go all the way. I, uh, gave him fella... umm fella...," frustration at being unable to remember the technical term set off Jacqui's temper. "Oh hell, I sucked him off," she blurted.

Amused at her embarrassment, Bronwyn hid her smile behind her teacup. "Oh did you? Enjoyed it, too, didn't you?" Jacqui's angry flush deepened into a blush. "Did you swallow?" she asked knowingly.

Coloring even more brightly at the blunt question, Jacqui answered anyway. "It wasn't bad. And what else could I do with it? I might have gotten his sperm all over my dress, otherwise," then she relaxed and giggled impishly. "He squealed like a pig when I brought him off," she offered conspiratorially.

"A man usually does, dear, when a lovely woman gives him that gift. Particularly the first time a woman does it for him. I am sure Jack would have, too."

All the color drained from the girl's face. "That's something I may never know, Bronwyn. Jack never experienced that, and now, he may not ever get the chance," Taking a deep breath, she pressed on. "Do you . . . do you know . . . everything? What my Mom did to me? What she did to Jack?"

Solemnly, Bronwyn nodded. "Are you better about it, now? About your Mom?"

Her good mood dissolved, and Jacqui nodded dejectedly as she poured more tea. "Mostly, anyway. I still wish she hadn't done it. I wish I understood why she felt she had to do that to me. What she hoped to gain by it," her voice fell to a whisper. "What it was about Jack that was not good enough for her."

"Nothing!" Bronwyn's strident voice cut through Jacqui's depression. "There was nothing wrong with you as Jack. You must never think that what she did was any kind of unthinking, accidentally cruel whim on your Mother's part when she Transformed you."

"Then why, Bronwyn? Why take my whole life, turn it inside out and leave me in a world that I did not ask for? Why? What right did she have to take away the life I knew and wanted?"

Compassionately, Bronwyn put her hand across to hold Jacqui's. "Your Mother is a member of a group that I also belong to, Jacqui. We call ourselves the Sisterhood. We sensed great power in you, and a great potential to use that power for good. Therefore, because we thought the Transformation was the best way" and actually, the only way, she admitted to herself, "for all concerned, we took the responsibility upon ourselves. We elected to use this specific Transformation to expose you that power and to help motivate you to learn to wield the power yourself."

"So, like my Mom, you see nothing wrong with what you had her do to me, Bronwyn? Well, you can tell yourselves that what you did was for the best, or that it was not an unkind or unfair thing to do to me. You can go ahead and tell yourselves all that; just don't expect me to agree with you. You took away my dream. I wanted to play college ball. I had a promise from the coach at BC that he would offer me a scholarship to play big time college basketball there. Now I will never know if I would have been good enough to make it. I will always wonder, and regret not having had my chance."

Of course, Bronwyn knew all this. Laurel had cried herself to sleep in her arms every night for weeks, furiously berating herself for doing her duty to the Sisterhood. Bronwyn simply did not understand it. How could any caring person want basketball more than having the power to help people?

"Seems like a small dream to me, compared to what you could become and to the things you could accomplish with your life now that you have been Transformed," Bronwyn said in a matter of fact tone that suggested Jacqui should stop whining. "Besides, you are going to college in any case. The Sisterhood is paying all your expenses to any college you want to attend. Staying in town to go to school was purely your own choice, you know."

"But it was my dream, Bronwyn. With the emphasis on the *my* and the emphasis on the *was*," Jacqui's voice was hoarse with suppressed emotion. "Even when I do manage to undo this . . this change, nothing will be the same as it would have been or could have been. Even if I change back to the way I was, to the age I was at the moment of Transformation, who will remember Jack Donovan then? Who will offer him a scholarship to play ball? Will your Sisterhood willingly expend the power necessary to give me back the life history I did not actually get a chance to live during the years I was a female? It is one thing to change records so that a John becomes a Jacqueline who has mostly the same history as the pre- Transformed male. I bet it is another thing entirely to invent a whole lifetime of records and memories for the rest of the world," She stopped to look at Bronwyn and saw the grudging agreement in her expression. "Thought so. And there's another thing you ought to consider, Bronwyn - this doing-good-for-others thing of yours. If that is your dream, I accept it - for you, but it wasn't and isn't my dream. I am not sure I even have dreams anymore. I don't want yours and I can't have mine."

The girl understood far more than Bronwyn had expected or wanted her to understand. The Sisterhood could accomplish many things, but what Jacqui would need to become Jack again and play in a major college program was simply too complex a conjuring for them to undertake with any hope of complete success. And complete success is precisely what they would have to achieve because even the smallest mistake would lead to questions he could not answer. The Sisterhood would also risk discovery if they took such precipitous action on his behalf.

He was correct. There was nothing they could do that would give back what she claimed they had taken from her. Claimed, nothing, Bronwyn thought bitterly. They *had* stolen her dreams because the Sisterhood, in its arrogance, had weighed Jack's dream against their need and found the dream wanting. "We have wronged you terribly, then. You still intend to reverse the Transformation at the earliest opportunity?"

A sad bleak look. "I don't know, Bronwyn. My feelings on Jack versus Jacqui run the whole spectrum. Most times, my answer is not only yes, but *HELL YES*, Transform me back - yesterday! But as we just discussed, the dream that drove me most of my high school life is lost to me. When I think of it that way, I just feel like saying "the hell with it". I will have to start essentially from scratch in either case. Then, there are those rare times, like immediately after making love with you, for example. In those moments, I actually think that there is a chance that my life as Jacqui might be even better than my life as an un-Transformed Jack could have been. And I hate to admit this - because I detest such weakness in myself - there are those other times?" Jacqui lifted her brows at Bronwyn as her voice dropped even lower, "Those very lonely, scary dark times when I feel there is no place in this world for Jack or Jacqui anymore - times when I just want it all to end."

"END?!?!?" Fear clogged Bronwyn's throat and made the words a squeak. "As in the *final* end?" The girl nodded jerkily. "Oh, Jacqui, you mustn't. It would destroy your Mother. She was not alone in this. It was not her decision alone to Transform you and then limit your options so severely afterwards. We of the Sisterhood did it with her; *we* asked her to Transform you; *we* told her that it was the correct thing to do. *We* told her to craft the spell so that only you, with the fullness of your own power, could undo the Transformation. If you . . " Bronwyn had to brace herself before she could even say it aloud, "do yourself harm over this, because of what *we* asked her to do to you, it will kill her. She is a healer."

"I know that. It is what stopped me the one time I came close to . . doing it, and why I won't do it in the future. I love her. She is my Mum."

In a very quiet voice, Bronwyn said. "She likes hearing that from you very much, Jacqui."

"I know that, and I try to say it to her often. It is just that sometimes, I can't get past the bitterness and the hurt."

"Hurting goes both ways, luv. You are both healers. Perhaps you could heal each other?"

"I don't know, Bronwyn. Maybe. After yesterday, I think we can. I have the entire, long summer to decide."

You have the summer now that you have forced your Mother to set aside her damnable plan to sacrifice her life so you could have your male life back, Bronwyn thought gratefully. "So what will you do? About the magic and mastering the Transformation Spell?"

"Continue with it as best I can. As you know, I am not going away for college, so I can continue taking instruction with Mother. Maybe I will figure it out sooner or later. When I do, I want the option of being able to act upon that decision." Then, Jacqui remembered the question she wanted answered immediately after she penetrated Bronwyn's disguise as Bonnie. "So what happens now that I know the truth about you?"

"What do you mean, luv?"

"I will miss Bonnie. She was my only real friend. Is she, or rather, are you going to just disappear from my life, now?"

Bronwyn was on her feet in a flash and pulled the girl into a tight embrace. "Goddess above, what an awful idea! Bonnie or Bronwyn, I love you, Jacqui. You are important to me. I will always be with you. In fact, now that you are strong enough to see through my disguise, I can undertake to help your Mom in your training. There are some aspects of the craft that I am much better at than she is."

"But what about . . ," she broke off, embarrassed to even continue the question.

Bronwyn arched back so she could see into the girl's eyes. "What about. . . what, dear?"

Blushing furiously, but refusing to be deterred from something so important to her, Jacqui pressed on. "What about sex. . . I mean, making love?"

The light went on in Bronwyn's mind. She pulled the girl back to her and kissed her fiercely. When they were both breathless and heatedly aroused, she broke the kiss and rasped "Does *that* answer your question, you silly girl? I love you and I want you, and the only way to keep me out of your bed is to kick me out. Got that?"

A foolish grin lit Jacqui's face. "Got it, and after that kiss, I have something else, too. A burning need. Care to join me upstairs to stoke that fire a little before we put it out?" She held out a hand that the older woman enthusiastically took in her own. "It will be interesting to find out if an older lady like you can keep up with me," she added saucily.

Bronwyn's mouth fell open in stunned amazement. "Why you little . . ," Her mouth snapped shut as an evil sparkle lit her eyes. "Well, I can tell it is time to start teaching you things that Bonnie was afraid would scare you off screaming to your Mommy. Come along, Miss Smartie Britches. I am going to indoctrinate you into the more sexy aspects of spanking. *You* need one," And then Bronwyn began to drag a suddenly uncertain Jacqui upstairs by her ear.

A Change of Direction Chapter 19

An Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

9 months 12 days A. T.

Wow!

Bronwyn is Bonnie and Bronwyn is also one of Mom's witch pals. She is also sexy as hell, just not so blatantly built as Bonnie. Her beauty sneaks up on you. She's just so. . . sleek-looking. Her breasts are small, but they fit so neatly in my hands and are they ever sensitive. I made her cum just by licking and nuzzling them, today.

She *spanked* me. Lit a fire in my insides, let me tell you, and with my *own* hair brush, too. I never thought getting your bottom whacked could be sexy, but it sure was. She actually made me orgasm by spanking alone. Okay, so my clitoris was bouncing off her knee in rhythm to the swats, but still, it sure shocked the hell out of me.

And that is not the only thing that shocked me. Guess who came back from the store while I was getting my butt whaled? I must admit to not being a stoic. I was screaming my head off when Mom came charging to my rescue.

I really tried to get up off Bron's knees so I could go hide, but the sneak wouldn't let me up. Mom recovered a lot quicker than I did, making some pithy remark about being "de trops" and asking if it was "a private party, or can anyone join in?" Me? I was too stunned to say anything, but Bronwyn just invited her to come in and get comfortable.

She did get comfortable, if you consider being *naked* to be comfortable, really quick. Next thing I know, she has her oh- so-very cool hand resting on my fiery hot butt and is trailing her fingers in between my legs. I tried to close them, but I was too late. She had a firm finger-hold on my clit.

They can talk all they want to about a hard dick having no conscience. I can now state with some authority that a hot clitoris doesn't have much of a conscience, either.

On second thought, is that aspect something unique to me, and my still male based view of sex and sexuality? I mean, when I get horny, I get horny. Instead of getting an erection, though, a whole different range of physical reactions happen now, but in my head, I am still *horny*. And I trust Mom and Bronwyn, so I felt safe, if a little immoral when Mom joined the party. I don't know how I would react if a really good looking older woman that I did not know and trust like I do with Mom started to play with me like that. Somehow, I don't think I would liked it or responded to her as I did to Mom.

How Jack might have reacted is a completely different matter. I can't say for certain how I would have reacted as Jack if that same good looking older lady came on to him because it never happened. What I *think* would have happened is that she could have led me anywhere she wanted to, as long as she had a firm grip on Jack's penis. Maybe being six foot four inches tall and weighing 220 lbs has something to do with that. I could trust myself in those situations, then. Trusting someone is much more important to me as Jacqui than it was as Jack. It is harder, too.

Mom makes love very nicely. She is so incredibly giving. I practically had to hold her down to make her let me reciprocate. That was fun, too. I liked feeling her fight and squirm as I tried to hold her still on the bed. I wonder if witches play with ropes and chains? If Mom is going to be a regular in my bed, I sure would like to see how she looked all stretched out and helpless.

Is that residual anger talking? Lord, I hope not. Besides, she really would look sexy as hell that way. Mom is built! I wonder why Jack never noticed that before?

Before I forget it. I am going to make sure I get spanked again. I wonder if Mom and Bronwyn like being spanked, too.

Hmmmm.. that leaves another very interesting question I need to consider. What would Marcus think of spanking games? Well, he is a lot stronger and a lot less experienced than Bronwyn. I am not sure I want my butt to be the one he learns on. Learning implies making mistakes which I would prefer *not* be made on *my* tender little backside. I think I will table that idea for a while. Unless. . . . I wonder how Marcus would feel about *getting* a spanking? A little oral reward for his bravery under fire, perhaps? Mmmmmmmm. I *like* that idea. I have been wondering about what his butt looks like up close. So far, all I've seen bare is his front.

You can come back, Jack. I am through fantasizing for a while. Bronwyn is going to teach me how to work some of what she calls "the deception magicks", too. From what I gather, that entails illusions and what she calls "shape-shifting". That is evidently what she did when she became Bonnie. She told me that shape-shifting is different from Transforming in that the essential things (like gender) remain unchanged. It is more like a very good Halloween costume than a Transformation. After I learn that, I guess I could look like Jack, and I could cast an illusion that would give me the appearance of male genitalia, but I would still be a girl and I would still have all the female plumbing. Not sure what good knowing that stuff will do me, but Bronwyn assured me that it is all part of learning what I will need to know so that I can do what I have to do. She also told me she knows about my wishes with respect to becoming Jack again, and that she has promised my Mom to help me all she can.

Why doesn't that make me feel as good as it ought to make me feel?

End Journal Entry.

****************

The Brotherhood's new Chief of Investigations and Information came into Lancaster's office. The old one had not learned the names of the Sisterhood's leadership quickly enough to suit the High Leader and had paid for his failure with his protracted and very painful death. The new man rued his former superior's failure because it meant that he was now the man on the hot seat and he was not any closer than his departed boss had been to finding the answers the High Leader demanded. He only hoped that this chance bit of information would buy him a little more time.

Lancaster looked up and gave the man a withering look. "Yes? What is it?"

"Sir, we have been keeping a loose surveillance on that family in San Bernadino per your orders. Periodically, we run computer checks of the local databases in that area, trying to find irregularities that might give hints of Sisterhood operations there," Lancaster knew all that. He'd given that fool who'd failed him those precise orders personally. "So?" he snarled, pleased to see this new lackey quail before his power.

Fighting to keep his voice from quavering, the chief continued. "Sir, we have found an abnormality during one of scans of the school district computers for the school the daughter attends. Only it does not relate to her directly, but rather, to the friend she has spent so much time with over the course of the year,"

Intrigued in spite of himself, Lancaster sat back and settled to listen. "Proceed," he ordered.

"Yes sir. Two weeks ago, and in all previous scans of that computer, records existed for one Bonnie Maria Davis. On further review of other machines in the local area, similar entries in that name were also found. This was verified using your own Dark Power sealed computer records, sir. Yesterday's scan showed no signs that such a person ever existed, either at the school or in any other system that had previously contained record of her. Furthermore, upon a scan of the Social Security System computers, we found that there never was any entry corresponding to this person."

Lancaster brooded for a while on that. "Analysis?"

"Speculation only, sir. We believe that for reasons known only to themselves, the leaders of the Sisterhood has sent one of their own, disguised as another teen, to support the daughter in some way. We don't have a lot of data on Sisterhood procedures for guiding the transition of one of their new Sisters, but what intelligence we do have suggests that such an intervention is not the norm and should be regarded as irregular."

Lancaster digested that. That analysis meshed with what he thought about the situation. And if the bitches did have to bring in extra help with this one, what did that mean? Was it in someway significant? Was she or the mother someone special in the Sisterhood, or was this transition simply particularly difficult? What if, given the scanty nature of the Brotherhood's data on the subject, that this additional intervention was actually not uncommon? What if the Brotherhood had simply missed the presence of the supporting Sister acting as a safety net for the one in transition before this? No, Lancaster mused, this *was* something different, and unexpected. There was something there he could use against them, he just did not yet know what it was. He would be patient. He still was not ready in all respects to go up against the Sisterhood.

"Maintain your surveillance," he snapped out the order. "Pay particular attention to who comes and goes at the woman's house. Let me know instantly if the missing woman reappears. I don't think she will, but we must be ready if she does," Yes, there was something out of the ordinary here. "Good job, Chief. See that you continue to do as well. You are dismissed."

Lancaster savored the pleasure of watching the man scurry out of his office like a frightened rabbit.

~--------~

A Change of Direction Chapter 20

Graduation day finally arrived and Jacqui took the top honors in Science and Mathematics. She missed out on one of the top three slots overall because her single-minded focus in her strong areas resulted in a couple of "B"'s in other courses. Still, she and her Mother were proud of her accomplishments. Jacqui's only real regret was that Bonnie, as Bronwyn, was seated in the auditorium as a guest and was not beside her on the stage.

Only after the ceremony had concluded and she had joined her Mom and Bronwyn for the reception did Jacqui realize how remarkable that fact was. Her *only* regret about this day's events had nothing to do with the circumstances of her Transformation, but rather with the simple fact that she missed a presence that only she and her Mother now remembered. Pensively, she tried to reconcile that with how she had thought she'd feel. Perhaps, she thought, I feel this way because *this* part of my life was really not changed. Heck, Jack probably would have not done as well as I did, since he would have had a lot more distractions to deal with, given the NCAA offer and all. No, this day, in any case, she was where she would have been, regardless of the Transformation, and it really did not make a difference to her that she was wearing a dress and heels instead of a suit and tie.

Happily, she posed with her friends from the basketball team, and other girls she had grown fond of over the year. Tamika was there in a cast, but she was there. Jacqui felt proud of her part in that.

She posed with Marcus, and even slipped in a little kiss that her Mother dutifully caught on film. But the best picture of all was the one Marcus took of her, standing between her Mom and Bronwyn. What made that picture so special was so simple it was complicated. In that instant Jacqui knew, that regardless of what she did or decided, she would forever after treasure that picture and that memory. Her Mom. Her Best Friend. Herself. All of them together and happy.

The festivities and celebration went long into the night, ending with the three exhausted women snuggled together in Laurie's bed.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

10 months 17 days A. T.

I am a High School Graduate.

Mom and Bronwyn went out of their way to make the day extra special and the gifts were wonderful. Bronwyn gave me a "blank check" for the laptop computer of my choice for college, since she was "certain she'd buy exactly the wrong thing."

Mom gave me a gift certificate at the clothing store she knows I like so that I can go buy my own college clothes. Said she trusted my taste and wanted me to be comfortable at college. She also said that I had learned everything I need to know about being a "very girly-type girl". I *think* that she intended that to be a compliment. Knowing Mom, it probably was although Jack is still squirming over it.

I cast my first solo illusion spell today, too. I wasn't mean about it, either, although I did want to do something to that damn principal. I thought about it, too. I still wonder what would have happened if everyone in the auditorium saw him in a miniskirt. Mom would have had conniptions, though. So, I did a nice thing, instead. One of the really lonely guys at school got a kiss on the cheek today from the girl he has a horrendous crush on, which he would not have gotten otherwise because the girl in question is a snooty, stuck-on-herself bitch. Actually, the real kisser in this story was me. Since I am a girl, the "fool the eye-only" limitation of illusions was not a problem. Even if my looks were the only thing altered, and only in the eyes of my beholders, a girl still feels like a girl when you get hugged. And since a lot of folks saw "me"/her do it, she now has to pretend that she really likes the guy or risk getting teased mercilessly by her "ours doesn't stink" clique of friends. He's a nice person - maybe some of that will rub off on her.

I am going to try another, more complicated illusion later on, for my eyes-only.

Oh, I forgot my best present. Mom demanded to know my most secret fantasy. I think I shocked her when I mumbled something about tying her to the bed, but she went right along with it. I was right, though, she *is* beautiful all stretched out tight like that. Her skin is so different from mine, all golden and light where I look like a beach bunny with an all over tan. I loved watching the play and strain of her muscles under her glistening skin as Bronwyn and I pulled her tight with the scarves we used to tie her up. Frankly though, once I had her that way, I was at something of a loss as to what to do next. Fortunately, Bronwyn was not at a loss. She had these incredible, long feathers with her. I never knew that Mom was *that* ticklish or that you could make someone climax from tickling.

I found out those little facts later in the evening, first hand. Mom's not the only ticklish member of this family who can be forced to an orgasm (okay, to *several* orgasms) with tickle torture. Mom exacted her revenge on me as soon as we set her loose. She and Bronwyn ganged up on me (so what if I did not fight *too* hard) and had me gasping with laughter - and orgasms in very short order. Love and Laughter - it is not a bad combination. I would never have thought so as Jack. I wonder if that was because of my male ego or my male dignity?

Bronwyn slipped out of getting her turn with the feathers, though. Mom and I were just too shagged to take her down after they'd finished with me, but I have an excellent memory. An excellent imagination, too, and the mental image of the cool, reserved Bronwyn nearly peeing her panties in laughter is too much to resist.

You know what? I just realized. I am actually happy. Amazing.

End of Journal Entry.

****************

Laurie decided to take advantage of Jacqui's apparent absence to take a peek in her room. She needed to check out her daughter's wardrobe for any missing college necessities. Without announcing herself in any way, Laurie entered her daughter's supposedly empty room.

And nearly had her heart stop.

There, in front of the mirror, stood the son she had not seen in nearly a year. She almost spoke his name aloud, but her heart was beating so fast, she could not get the word out. She just stood there, staring at him. How had he done it? Had Bronwyn discovered a way to break her enchantment? Perhaps by calling upon the sum total of the entire Sisterhood's power, her friend had found a way to break that benighted, misguided spell?

Then something else caught her eye – there was something distinctly odd about the way he looked now – he was still easily recognizable as her son, but different somehow.

What was it, she wondered. Then it hit her. 'His' skin color was wrong - it was the color of Jacqui's skin, the dark olive tones of their gypsy ancestors and not the lighter skin shade of Jack's Scandinavian father. It was then that Jack noticed her reflection in the mirror.

"Looks all wrong, doesn't it, Mom?" came the soft alto voice of her daughter. An instant later, her son was once again the daughter he had become. "I can't even remember how I used to look," she said with an ironic twist to her full lips. "I've tried that illusion countless times since I finally got the hang of the magic. I have been trying to remember what it felt like to look like Jack, but I can't even remember enough about my own face to make a passable illusion of myself. Every time I try it, I come out as some amalgamation of Jack and Jacqui."

"Is that so very bad? Jacqui is a very nice, very attractive person."

"Thanks. I love you, too, but the point is I don't know Jack anymore. At least, I don't know the Jack I used to be anymore. Who will he be, Mom, in that future time when he is once again who I am?"

'Once again who you are,' Laurie morosely repeated in her mind. The question that had haunted the elder Donovan for months, of what had not gone right for her daughter once again reared its ugly head. What made her daughter long so fervently for the male life she'd lost the night Laurie had Transformed her? Laurie still had no answers, but for her daughter's sake, she made the effort to lock that hurt deep inside her soul and to keep a positive spin on her words.

"He will be the sum total of your experiences, good and bad, my love. Those are what will have shaped the person you will become. In your case, those experiences will be part male and part female; boy-child, adolescent male, and teenage girl, young woman. If you think about the richness of that range of experiences, then whoever he becomes, my love, he will be a very formidable person,"

Almost as formidable as the woman you could become if only you could find your way to making that choice. We will need you so badly when the Dark Time comes. "Now," Laurie continued, "would you like some help with that illusion? Illusion casting is not my forte, but I suspect that my memories of what Jack looked like are a little less distorted by recent experiences than yours are. I can help mold the illusionary features for you, if you like."

"You'd do that, Mum? I mean, I know you really want me to stay as Jacqui."

"Not if it makes you unhappy, Jacqui. I cast my spell thinking you would be as happy with your new life as I have been with the one my Mother gave me. I never wanted to go back to being Larry, nor did any of my friends want to return to their former selves. But now, I accept the fact that you do want to go back. You are my child and I love you. I want your happiness above all else. Now, do you want to try the illusion again?"

In the light of her Mother's stark sincerity, the need that had been compelling Jacqui to try the illusion waned. If, in the final analysis, the new Jack was a combination of the best parts of the old Jack and the best parts of present Jacqui, she could live with that. "Maybe some other time, Mom. I don't think it matters any more, thanks to what you just said. So, what brings you into my room, Mum? Wanna borrow some of my clothes?"

Relieved by the change of subject, Laurie snorted and gave her daughter a mocking glare. "As if I could wear anything of yours, you busty wench. Goddess, I would look like a little girl playing dress-up in *her* mother's clothes trying to fit into your things. No, I was just wondering what you still might need for college." That seemed to satisfy Jacqui's curiosity. After all, Jacqui's "birthday" is just around the corner, she thought.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year A. T.

Mom and Bronwyn threw a gala surprise birthday party today for me. At least that's what they called it for the benefit of the girls from the basketball team and for Marcus. Actually, as the date above this entry indicates, today marks the one year anniversary of the day I found myself changing into Agent Scully's hermaphroditic twin. Of course, we can't tell anybody else about *that*, so instead it was birthday cake, presents and many refrains of "Happy Birthday". It was still pretty cool. And I am *really* looking forward to my birthday spanking from Mom and Bronwyn, but *that* comes later!

Marcus gave me a lovely bracelet, with his and my initials engraved on it, the letters intertwined. I am really not sure how to handle this relationship or the feelings he evokes in me. He is becoming very important to me. What will happen to his memories when I change back? And does it really matter? Jack is straight line straight. And I don't think I can be friends with Marcus - not after. . . Well, not after everything.

Well, I am not going to worry about that - not right now, anyway. I only have a few minutes before Marcus gets here to take me dancing.

I am really curious about the two gift wrapped packages that Mom has squirreled away in her bedroom, though. She won't let me open them, or even have them in my hot little hands until the three of us are alone in her bedroom. Then I can open them. She had a very sexy look in her eye when she told me that, too. If I did not like going dancing with Marcus so much, I would be pounding on her door right now.

Oh, and Bronwyn gave me my first shape shifting lesson today. I don't think this is going to be as easy to learn as illusion casting. A whole *hour* of lessons and exhausting repetition and what did I accomplish? Changed my nails - made them a bit longer and a different color. HAH! I can almost do that without magic.

Oh well. Mom just called, Marcus is here. Time for my grand entrance. I wonder what he will think of this leather miniskirt? No time like the present to find out.

And no. I *don't* have the panty girdle on underneath the skirt. I don't think I need it anymore with Marcus. Besides, this skirt is so short, the girdle would show.

End Journal entry.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 year, 1 day A. T.

Well, I did not *quite* need the smelling salts, but it was a near thing. Poor dear almost hyperventilated when I came down. I think I may have flashed him. The skirt *is* short and the steps *are* steep.

As to the wearing or not wearing of the panty girdle chastity belt, that little concern was much ado about not much at all. We are definitely going to have to plan this more carefully. Finding a place where Marcus and I can be alone *and* comfortable is a definite priority before we can start working on training his mouth for use on lips other than the ones on my face. His car does not fulfill the comfort requirement. There is not even enough room for him to get his face properly in position for a little oral loving. Darn compact cars, anyway.

I practiced my own oral technique, though. Even though he was *very* excited, I managed to string him out quite nicely. Teasing is fun. Following through afterwards is even more fun. He tried to reciprocate with his hands afterwards, but he needs the same type of gentling lessons I needed immediately after Transformation, but he's a quick study, my Marcus. Motivated, too.

As for me, I have a date in Mom's bedroom later to open those two presents she would not let me open in front of company. All we are waiting for is Bronwyn to arrive. Mom has this cat who is going to eat the canary look on her face every time she looks at me. Sounds like fun to me. Tweet tweet. Here, kitty-kitty.

End Journal Entry.

***************

"Well." Bronwyn said with feeling as she kicked the wadded ball of gift-wrapping paper away from her chair. "That certainly was a fun time for all concerned. Not." She took a long sip from the brandy snifter cradled in her palm and let its fiery warmth burn through the knot of anxiety still curling inside her.

"Not at all what I expected, either. But my daughter often reacts the way I least expect her to react. Goddess, when I remember how excited we were when we were planning this whole fiasco, I almost want to laugh. I would, too, if I did not feel so much like crying."

"The healing spell you put on her will keep her asleep and dreaming good dreams for the rest of the night, Laurel. I expect, given a little time and a little distance, she will be fine. We just pushed a button tonight and found out that it was not wired the way we thought it was. Who would have thought, given the girl's boundless enthusiasm and innocent pleasure in every other sexy game we have introduced to her, that she would have gone over the edge because of this one?" Bronwyn shook her head in frustration. It had actually been *her* idea and it had gone very badly, indeed. "What are you going to do with them?" Bronwyn asked as she gestured at the bed with her snifter.

Laurie turned to regard the jumbled mass of leather and metal lying on top of her bed along side a moderately sized, but life-like artificial penis. "I don't know. Keep them, I guess," She would just as soon never have seen them in her life. "Knowing my headstrong child, as soon as she recovers from the shock of whatever happened tonight, she is going to feel humiliated by her reaction in front of us. She'll decide she has to face her "weakness" head on, and will insist on having them. Eventually, she will get used to them being around and that will help, too."

"Not one to cower for very long, is she?" Bronwyn smiled. "Too bad she has figured out about Bonnie. An "un-involved", sympathetic friend might do her a lot of good tomorrow," A thought struck Bronwyn that she did not like much at all. "Do you think that she reacted so strongly because we were the ones who gave it to her?"

"Trying to make up for taking one penis away from her by giving her a substitute? If that is a problem, it is only a small part of the puzzle - there is something else there I haven't figured out, yet. Besides, you and I know that was not the case. We were only thinking of this game as a natural progression of the woman-to-woman lovemaking she enjoys with us, but I would say that is not quite how she saw it."

"Good thing we decided against the locking harness. I shudder to think what would have happened if we had needed keys to shuck her out of that thing," Bronwyn took her last sip of brandy. "What now? She still needs to learn the lesson we intended to teach with those toys. She needs to learn how to enjoy the passive side of making love. Not that I mind her "let me do that for you, too" attitude in bed, but it's like she is cutting herself off from anything she perceives as in any way submissive, particularly to anything she sees as being masculine," Bronwyn snorted. "Goddess, even when she sucks Marcus off, she is in charge. The only time she ever lets go completely is when you or I tie her down first, and then she insists on quid pro quo later so she can try and outdo us."

Laurie shook her head. "I don't know, Bronwyn. As I said, I think she will come around because she simply cannot abide weakness. The lesson I think we really have to find a way to teach her is that loving submission is not weakness," Laurie stood up and rolled her head about, trying to relax the stress in her shoulders and back. "And Goddess knows, right now? I have absolutely no idea how to accomplish that goal. For now, I think I will go crawl into bed with her. She probably won't be happy to see me when she wakes up, but I don't want her to be alone if bad dreams do come."

"Mind another bed mate, tonight?" Bronwyn asked. "I don't much want to be alone, myself."

"Nothing I'd like better. If she wakes up mad, you can catch your fair share of the chewing out I am sure she intends to lay on my poor head," Laurie stood and held out her hand to Bronwyn. Together, they walked out into the hall.

*************

Something was tickling Jacqui's nose. Eyes still closed, she tried to reach up with her hand to brush it away, only to discover that her arm was being weighed down. Waking with a start, she realized she was not alone in her bed. Cracking open one eye, she saw a halo of pale, blonde hair arrayed on the pillow in front of her. Bronwyn, she thought. That meant that the soft, warm body pressing up behind her was Mother.

And then she remembered the night before, and realized why they were all here in her bed, and not in her Mother's much larger one.

As they had all planned the day before, Jacqui had joined her Mother and Bronwyn in her Mother's room shortly after Bronwyn had arrived. Both her Mom and Bronwyn had already been dressed in very sexy nightgowns when they had ushered Jacqui into the master suite. With great ceremony, the two older women had made a real production out of stripping Jacqui down to the skin. Of course, they did not resist any opportunity to taste or touch any newly uncovered bit of skin, so by the time they had Jacqui fully naked, they also had her fully aroused. It was at this point, that her Mother had presented her with the first of the two packages she had teased Jacqui with the night before.

With all the delicacy and patience of a starving woman at a banquet, Jacqui had fallen upon the wrapping paper and had turned the beautifully wrapped package into brightly colored confetti in mere seconds. However, the contents of the box still remained a mystery to her even when she held it in her hands and examined it thoroughly. Once it became obvious that she had no idea what the device was, her Mother and Bronwyn had come to her aid and assisted her in donning the harness.

Jacqui had first concluded that it was some kind of kinky bondage toy, and that they would use it to supplement the scarves that had become a regular part of their love-play over the summer. The new harness was been made of wide leather straps. One strap fit tightly around her waist, just above her hipbones, while two matching straps buckled about each of her thighs, just below the crease where her legs met the buttocks. Fine-linked, silvery chrome chains connected the thigh straps to the waist belt. Her Mother and Bronnie had been determined to make sure that all the straps and adjustable chains were tightened as much as they could be and still be comfortable for her. The fourth strap was the one that had really surprised her.

It attached in the front of the waist belt, right at her navel, and hung down. There was some type of thick, metal ring in the strap, a little less then midway down the leather length. From the ring, two thinner straps dangled. The two women had been very particular in adjusting the front connection of that strap so that the ring rested just so over her woman's mound, and then they had pulled the two dangling leathers up between her legs. Each of those straps had been pulled, ruthlessly under the crease of each buttock and had been connected to buckles at her sides. The effect, as Mother and friend had strained to cinch up tightly on the straps, was to nearly split her puss in two, while also lifting and separating the muscular, rounded half moons of her ass. Jacqui's initial reaction to the whole thing was that it looked like and felt like some type of leather woman's jockstrap.

Actually, that had all been pretty exciting, Jacqui admitted to herself. When they had brought her the next package, she had hoped it contained something that would complete her bondage, maybe a set of handcuffs, or even some leg-shackles.

It hadn't.

Her fingers had gone nerveless when she had pulled the flesh-colored, latex sex toy out of the box. She remembered thinking that it was both thicker and shorter than hers, or rather Jack's had been. Bronwyn had interpreted her sudden lack of animation as confusion, because she'd slipped the fake dick out of Jacqui's hands and then snapped it into the ring above Jacqui's pubis.

Mother and Bronwyn had then all but shoved her in front of the wall mirror to admire her new "look". They'd been surprised at Jacqui's response. Maybe shocked was a better word.

Jacqui had simply lost her composure all together. She'd grabbed hold of the dildo and had tried to pull it off. That effort had failed miserably as the harness did what it was designed to do entirely too well for Jacqui's purposes. Realizing that the toy was solidly in place, she had then flailed ineffectually at the myriad of buckles and catches - screaming her head off at her Mother to "Get this damned thing off me!"

Unfortunately, neither her Mother nor Bronwyn had been able to calm her enough to get their hands on any of the buckles. Finally, she'd felt the touch of her Mother's magic, and had slipped into sleep.

Why had she gone off the deep end like that? Why had the simple symbolic reminder of her former masculine state upset her so much? She'd thought she had gotten beyond feeling like that. Hadn't she learned to handle her feminine needs? She was practically having an affair with a man - enjoying it, too.

Part of it had been the verbal teasing from her Mother and Bronwyn. Bronwyn's comment that "We thought you might want to keep in practice, just in case you do decide to change back to good old Jack," was one thing. Had Jacqui not been so off balanced by the scenario, she probably would have been able to deal with that wisecrack in the manner Bronwyn had intended it - as a lighthearted jest at her expense, and as a bit of a challenge, too.

Unfortunately, before Jacqui had a chance to handle that remark, her Mother had chimed in. "And she needs more than practice, Bronnie," Laurie had said with an air of determined resignation. "Unlike us when we were Transformed, our little darling has a hymen. That means Jack never got it on with a girl, so we will have to teach her everything."

Up until that moment, Jacqui had not realized the significance of her possession of a hymen, at least as having one related to being a Transformed woman. She had thought that it was just one of those things; that being "reborn" as a woman meant "everything old was new again". Apparently not, and that meant that her *Mother* knew Jack was a virgin. He'd been a Junior – almost a Senior in school, for god's sake, and except for that one time when he might have gotten it on with the girl, he'd never been inside a woman.

And the crowning humiliation was that his Mother, as Larry, had done what Jack never had. His Mother knew things he did not know. And so did Bronwyn. Jack's own penis had been untested at giving a woman pleasure at the time of his Transformation. And the problem was that no matter what happened after she learned the Transformation Spell, Jack would never be able to match what that unfeeling piece of rubber could do for a woman. It would never go soft before granting the woman her release. It would never finish too soon, leaving his partner high and dry. It would never become too sensitive or tender to continue.

Thoughts and feelings whirled in a dizzying maelstrom about her head. Rolling onto her back, Jacqui closed her eyes again and tried to calm herself. The deep breathing and meditation exercises her Mother had taught her as part of her healer training finally worked. Gradually, her mind slowed, and coherent thought returned.

She worked at viewing the process more objectively. The relaxation exercises had eased the tension in mind and body. She stretched to relieve the final kinks.

"Good morning," a soft voice mumbled beside her. Soft hands began stroking her hair. "How do you feel?"

A bubble of helpless laughter escaped Jacqui, causing her Mother some concern. "Better, actually," She considered a moment before adding, "Pretty good, in fact," She rolled to face her Mother and gave her a hug and kiss. "MMMMmmmm, you taste good," she cooed. "I have been laying here trying to work out what happened last night."

Forcing herself to keep her voice light, Laurie asked, "And have you come to any conclusions?"

"None that I am very proud of," Jacqui replied. Her Mother's hand gently stroked her hair and some more of the tension relaxed. Maybe talking it out with her Mother would help ease the embarrassment that Jack, and Jacqui, still felt. "You know that I . . . umm, Jack was a virgin?" Laurie nodded as she watched her daughter's eyes. "Until last night, I did not understand what being a real virgin – that is, a girl-virgin - meant in my current state. And it never occurred to me that you hadn't been a virgin when you were. . .well, when you were Larry," Jacqui tried to look away, embarrassed all over again at the admission.

Laurie took the girl's chin in her hand and drew it back so their eyes met. Love and understanding softened her Mother's eyes. "Does that really matter so very much, darling?"

Jacqui swallowed, and tried to find words to express her feelings. "Maybe in a perfect world, it wouldn't. But the fact remains that I was almost eighteen and never made out with a girl," Then her eyes darkened with stormy emotion. "And YOU *knew*!"

Laurie chuckled at the ringing condemnation in her daughter's voice. "And I had never been a female virgin, either. Your old Mom had gone where you never had. Is that it?"

Jacqui flushed and then nodded jerkily. "All those little male fears and insecurities never went away, I guess. I never felt the confidence that comes with having "proven myself" with a woman. Some of what I felt last night was that, anyway. Couple that with the fact that Jack could never hope to compete with that toy and you have the greater part of what went wrong."

Laurie gently kissed the girl's forehead. "Let me ask you a question. Have you made love with Bronwyn and me?" Unsure where this was leading, Jacqui tentatively nodded that she had. "And have you given us countless orgasms? Made us scream shamelessly with pleasure?"

A very smug, self satisfied and nearly male grin slid across the girl's features. "Damn right I have," she answered arrogantly.

"So, I would assume that, after you go back to being Jack, you are not going to forget how to do that?" Jacqui shook her head emphatically, her eyes wide with wonder and understanding. "Then how in the name of the Goddess can you be inadequate? Making love to a woman is infinitely more than the mere act of sticking a dick in her pussy." Her Mother's crude words sent Jacqui's brows lifting into her hairline. Laurie continued, pressing her advantage. "It really is pretty absurd, when you think about it *logically*," the word dripped with trenchant irony, "Here you are, fully female, but feeling male inadequacies in comparison to a marital aid and to your very happily female Mother. Jacqui, my girl, get a grip, will you?"

Jacqui's mouth made an "O" as she stared at her Mother. Finally, her sense of the ridiculous won over her sense of shock. She chuckled softly to herself at the images her Mother had painted across her mind's eye.

Much of the remaining tension in Jacqui's body relaxed. Sighing, she snuggled up closer to her Mother. "The rest of what set me off was like a huge culmination of all the little hurts I did not know I still felt as a result of the Transformation. Like - "Why me?" or "What was not good enough about me that I needed to be changed this way?" All those little things that I know, intellectually anyway, had nothing to do with your decision, but that still niggle at me when I am alone in the dark. And I guess I felt cheated, looking there in the mirror, seeing an image with real breasts and a man-made penis, and knowing that no matter how good it would feel, it would not be what I would feel if I still was Jack."

"Am I to assume from your more serene demeanor," which Laurie's healer instincts sensed was the way the girl actually felt, "that you have dealt with most of that?"

"Yes. Although I wish I knew, right now, what making love to a woman felt like as a man," Jacqui sighed, "It might make so many things clearer and more simple."

"Even if I remembered how it felt, *which I don't*, dear, it is something that can only be experienced. I can only tell you that in my case, at least, it paled in comparison to what I experienced as the woman being made love to by a man."

Jacqui smiled at the wistful tone in her Mother's voice and cuddled closer. "Wishes and horses, Mum. I can tell you, that jerking off as Jack never felt as good as what Jacqui does to me with her fingers. Which pales in comparison to what you and Bronwyn make me feel when we are together," And she started kissing her Mother a little more seriously as that memory aroused her.

Their passion awoke Bronwyn who was soon actively participating. Nothing further was said by any of the women for a long time. Mouths had better uses at that moment than merely speaking.

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 2 days A. T.

I am still kind of embarrassed at how I reacted to that gift. Mom and Bronwyn were so pleased with themselves and all ready for a good time and then I went ballistic on them. I am still not sure I completely understand why I did.

Much of it is as I told Mom. We talked some more after our morning romp (making love with two other women in a too small bed can be very friendly, although you do have to watch where you put your knees. You can bruise tender areas that way)

The harness and dildo are now in my room so that I can see always see them, or hold them or touch them periodically. For now, I just want to get more comfortable with the whole idea. Mom and Bronwyn have promised that I, alone, decide if and when those toys ever come out to play again.

After some quiet time for reflection, though, I sensed there was more to the gift than just another neat toy to add spice to our lovemaking. I asked Bronwyn about that and she gave me a funny look before shrugging. Seems the two witch-women have decided that I need to let loose of my controls a little more. Bronwyn said I need to try being more passive in my lovemaking, if only for the experience. "You don't always have to be in charge like Jack evidently was on his dates," she said. "You need to experience letting someone else control the action, and let that person *make* you cum. If only so you will understand both sides of the experience."

That is part of the problem, although I could not admit that to Bronwyn. Jack *wasn't* in control on his dates. That is why he is still a virgin and I am still a virgin. Of course, there was that one time with Dani Evers. We had planned to "do it" at her place while her folks were out on a date. God, I'd been so ready and so nervous.

Unfortunately, I was not the only one. By the time we got to her bedroom, poor Dani was almost frantic - and not with the urgency to consummate our union. She was white as a sheet. I remember she had worn black lingerie and it made her pallor look even worse.

Then, she started crying. Jack had never lost a hard on so fast without cumming. She was terrified. Terrified of being found out by her parents. Terrified of getting pregnant. Hell, terrified of Jack. He ended up playing "big brother" and telling her it was all right. She finally fell asleep and Jack let himself out.

So ended Jack Donovan's first and last real chance at conjugal bliss.

Maybe Bronwyn is right, though, at least about being in charge in the bedroom. I like it, and I don't know if I would much like just "taking it". I probably will try to do it that way, though. Bronwyn, the sneaky, underhanded, loving little witch knows me too well. She made it a dare.

I just don't know if I am going to try being "passive" with that harness on someone else, though. That is going to take some heavy thinking, before I do that with anyone - even Mom or Bronwyn doing the driving.

And it is not because I don't trust them, or don't think they would make the experience wonderful for me that I don't want to use them to use those things on me. Mostly it's because I did not get to try the real thing as Jack. If and when Jacqui loses her virginity, I'd like to have the real thing that first time.

Not that I am ready for that, in any case. As comfortable as I _think_ I have become with my femininity, Jack is still a big part of me, and he has a problem with letting a man have his carnal way with me. I don't blame him, either, it is a big step. Certainly for me as Transformed woman, anyway.

Why? Well you may ask. It is simply this. The part of me that is still Jack, still heterosexual male, is dead set against doing it. That is a substantial obstacle for my desires in that regard to have to overcome. Only a monumental need to have a man inside me could get me past Jack's intransigence. I would have to be in love with that man before I would be able to get past that and have intercourse with him. And if I love him enough to make love with him, how could I leave him and become Jack again?

The _really_ uncomfortable thing about this whole line of reasoning is that falling in love with a man, and making love with a man, do not seem to be quite as impossible as either of those ideas did a year ago.

Jack is *not* liking this discussion at all. Well, I don't feel that way about any man right now, if that is any consolation, Jack.

Oh well, college starts in a few weeks. That should keep me busy.

End of Journal Entry.

A Change of Direction Chapter 21

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 year 4 weeks 1 day A. T.

You know, I don't know why I insist on using the honorific "Miss" instead of the more trendy and politically correct "Ms." when I write in this book. Maybe it is a reaction to some of the girls and teachers at school who insisted that Jack call them "Ms.". Maybe I am just being pigheaded and trying to maintain something about me that is different from "real women".

Maybe it just suits me.

Got all the classes I wanted and at the times I wanted to take them. It is so great not having to take courses I don't really want to take. I have two computer science courses, a physics course, a chemistry course and calculus. This is *so* great! And one other course, too. Don't know about that one yet, or why I really signed up for it.

My advisor is a really good guy, who only balked a little bit when I showed him my proposed schedule. He doesn't think I am going to hack it, though. We'll see about that.

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 year 2 months A. T.

First round of tests are all over, and I did pretty well. Now that the mountain of studying I needed to get done for them is over, I have a little time on my hands for the first time since school started.

Some observations. There are other girls in all of my classes, but not one other girl who is in all my classes. Of course, there is no guy who is in all my classes either, although there is one who is in all but the one I won't talk about in here. I think he is really shy, though. He won't even say hi to me on his own.

I'm glad for the non-technical course. It relaxes my head to do that reading when the other courses wear me down.

Dammit. I *miss* Marcus. Why couldn't he come here instead of going so far away. I miss dancing with him, and I miss. . . . well, I miss a lot of things about him.

In the evenings, now that I don't go out very much, Bronwyn has been drilling me in shape shifting. I did a fair job of changing my hair color the other night. When I tried to change my skin tone we ran into a little. . . Minor glitch. I wanted to make it lighter like Bronwyn's, only I ended up looking like a human zebra. Bronwyn says I need work on "whole body visualization" before I begin my conjure. Maybe I should try to turn into Bonnie. I got really good at visualizing that hot bodied little tart during my senior year at school. (You know what they say about eavesdroppers, Bronwyn, and you were - both hot-bodied *and* a tart! You think I did not remember that you showed up on the scene right after Mum promised not to peak in here?)

Well, tomorrow the unknown class starts studying one of the topics I signed up for the course to learn about. Hopefully, I will learn what I need to know.

End Journal Entry

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 2 Months 13 days A. T.

Met a very interesting person today when I went to see Professor Stevens, my advisor. This guy owns a huge computer electronics firm and he is working to implement Professor Stevens' theories on quantum computing on a practical computer. In the meantime, as his part of the collaboration, this guy provides Dr. Stevens with all the latest and best computer hardware to use in his research.

He has really strange eyes. Dr. Stevens introduced us and he gave me this really searching look, like he thought he recognized me from somewhere and was trying to remember when and where. It was a very disconcerting experience. I think I will plan to be elsewhere when he visits Dr. Stevens from now on.

Marcus wrote me an email! I wonder how he found out my address? What *am* I going to do about him???

End Journal Entry

*****************

The Brotherhood's Chief of Investigations sat silently in his chair. Lancaster had waved him into the seat opposite the huge desk when the Chief had first entered into the High Leader's Office. Lancaster had yet to say a word, but the Chief knew better than to say anything without direction.

Finally, Lancaster leveled the fearsome power of his eyes on his subordinate. "My work with the college teacher is going in accordance with the plan. I also met the girl today. One would never know that a mere fifteen months ago she was a male," A malevolent grin lit his chiseled features. "I do not believe she liked me very much. In any case, as long as the professor is her program advisor, and I will see that he continues in that role, I will have a reliable source of information on what the girl is up to. She is still living at home?" The chief affirmed that she was. "And the other woman, Llewellyn, continues to visit regularly?" Again, the chief confirmed this. "Very well, relax the surveillance on the girl and her Mother. We will use the good professor as our surveillance asset for now. My hypnotic programming of him is complete and thorough. He will watch her for us and report on any unusual activities immediately," That over, he switched topics abruptly. "What about the other suspected Sister we have unearthed?"

"Roberta Lawler lives in Austin, Texas. She has recently been observed visiting an obstetrics clinic near her home. We made a midnight reconnaissance of the office and ascertained that the woman is two to three months pregnant. She is expected to deliver in the March or April time frame."

"Any indication of the sex of the child?"

"None, although it is too early for sonogram determination of gender. If she is, as we believe, a member of the Sisterhood, then she would likely not feel the need for a sonogram merely to determine its sex."

"Too bad. If it were a girl baby, we'd know for a fact that she was not a Sister. Very well. I want round the clock surveillance on the Lawler girl and an action response team in the area the moment the fetus becomes viable outside the womb. Muster the team as soon as the woman gives any signs of going into labor. I want them to take both the woman and the child as soon as we know the child is male and as soon after the actual birth as possible. Something about the birthing process is critical to the Sisterhood and we must know what that is before we can hope to deal with them effectively."

Feeling that he must speak, but not wanting to, the chief cleared his throat. "It may simply be the celebration of birth, High Leader. Most Matriarchal Societies place great store on the creation and nurturing of new life through the birth experience."

"It may very well be that, Chief, but somehow, I don't think so. The Sisterhood is not a classical matriarchal society since every member of that cursed group was at one time male. No, there is something more to it than just female life worship," His arguments made him even more certain. "Go set up the operation in Houston. Your piteous begging for the surcease of your own death will go unanswered for a very long time if you fail to capture the woman and her child alive."

The man's fear was palpable as he hurriedly left the office to carry out his Master's orders. The taste of his emotion was sweet on Erich Lancaster's tongue, and he laughed at the pure, unadulterated pleasure of having been the cause of it.

~--------~

Excerpt from the Journal of Miss Jacqui Donovan

1 Year 3 Months 5 days A. T.

I don't know what to believe. On one hand, I have heard Mom and Bronwyn speak about things often enough that I am relatively confident that I understand many of their beliefs. But what I got from that class does not jive with what they have said when they did not think I was listening.

I am going to the library right now to see if they have anything in the rare books sections that will help. Probably not since I don't read or speak foreign or dead languages. Cripes, why could not the old Celtic civilizations have written their stuff in "C" instead of Gaelic? Oh, well, I hope the translations are good. They will certainly be better than I could do, but will they be accurate enough for my needs?

Hmmmm. I wonder if there are independent sources of information about this on the Internet? There is stuff about most every thing else, why not this? Yahoo, Alta Vista, Lycos - here comes Jacqui!

End Journal Entry

 

 

(continued)

 

 

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