The story of Catherine Lawrence is in 15 parts and I apologise for such a long story but it got out of hand. All 15 parts are completed and for those who like to print the story so you can read it in bed, I will have all 15 parts posted soon.
Carmenica

Catherine Lawrence

by Carmenica Diaz

Part 5

 

'Doctor Waters will see you now, Miss Lawrence.'

'Thank you.'

'Cate,' Helen said with a broad smile.

'Hello Helen, do you want me to get undressed?' I wanted to get the embarrassing bit over with as quickly as possible.

'Not yet, sit and we'll talk. How is everything?'

I took a deep breath and told her. The words rushed out and she listened silently but I sensed, with sympathy.

She brushed my question about confidentiality aside. 'I'm not going to tell anyone, Cate. The transition process insists that you live entirely as a woman for at least a year, maybe two and if you choose to do that while on the stage, that's your business. Now, when the man approached you in the restaurant, how did you feel?'

'I don't know,' I said honestly. 'Confused, perhaps flattered?'

'Were you attracted to him?' she asked gently.

'He was nice and very charming. He had wonderful hands, big and strong but…Oh I don't know.'

'You noticed his hands?'

I raised my eyes. 'Yes,' I said, puzzled. 'Why?'

'Nothing.' She smiled. 'Don't worry, it's normal to be confused.'

'Normal?' I said a little bitterly.

'Yes, normal. Now, you've been taking the hormones?' I nodded. 'I think I can see the results. Let's get you undressed so I can examine you.

 

Helen was seated at her desk while I dressed. 'The changes have been remarkable, Cate. I'd like to take some blood samples so I can get some tests done.'

'Is there anything I should be worried about?' I asked, as I came from behind the screen.

'No, not at all. I just want to find out why the hormones have acted so quickly. I have my suspicions which would explain your physical characteristics before you began hormones but I need some intricate blood tests.' I sat down at the desk and she smiled. 'I can give you another booster shot, would you like that?' I nodded and she quickly gave it to me. 'All done, you can lower your skirt, Cate.' She then quickly took blood samples.

She was writing something so I checked my face in the small mirror over the hand basin. I turned back to see her smiling at me and I flushed as I sat back down.

'Cate, have you decided to use the breast forms, the ones that are glued on? The glue cannot be removed for a month so it's a good trial.'

'I'd like to,' I said hesitantly, 'but I'm not sure how I would get them. I don't want to draw attention to…'

'Of course. Let me get them and I'll arrange for them to be couriered to your home in a plain parcel. Don't worry; it will come from me, not from the manufacturer. Are you happy with the cup size, it's a D?'

'What do you think?' I asked shyly.

'I think it looks good on you, they may be some discomfort in time but a reduction can always be arranged. I'll also order some new underpants that will help control. They're adjustable so when more shrinkage occurs, you can allow for it. I think I've explained the effects of the hormones?' She raised an eyebrow and I nodded. 'Good. Those ones you have are for show business, not every day wear. I think you'll find these ones more feminine as well and they're very brief. You can even wear them under a swimsuit.'

'Swimsuit!' I was shocked and she laughed.

'Yes, Cate, a swimsuit. I'll order five pairs and I'll add it to your bill so there's no record of you paying the manufacturer.' She smiled and put the pen down. 'All done, your hormones are there and I want you to call me if there's a problem.'

'Ok,' I said, standing. 'Helen?'

'Yes?'

'Thank you. I know you don't have to order the stuff for me so thanks.'

She stood and smiled. 'I expect tickets to one of your shows,' she said with a laugh. 'That's my payment.'

'Opening night, Helen.'

'Really?' Her eyes lit up and I laughed.

'Yes.'

'I'll have to tell my husband.'

'It'll be formal, he may not like it.'

'He'll hate it but I'll love it,' she smiled.

 

The parcel came two days later and I asked Bel to help me. She read the instructions and spread the glue. 'Ready?'

I took a deep breath. 'Yes,' I said, 'I'm ready.

And I was.

 

I became remarkably comfortable with the breasts. For a start, I could forget about the corset and just use a bra. I examined myself in the mirror in just my bra and panties with the control thong underneath. The surface of my panties was smooth and flat and with my curves, I could not see any evidence of Chris anywhere. A waist had now emerged and I could see that my bottom had grown, my skin was also soft and smooth. Bel had commented, when she was gluing the breast forms on that she could see my own breasts had begun to grow.

There were times, times when I was depressed about some small thing, when I wondered if I was just following an idle whim but I just had to look in the mirror to see the happiness in the eyes of the woman who smiled back at me. When I examined my face in the mirror, I saw the image of my mother reflected back at me. I had the same eyes, the high cheekbones and plump lips. I was always more like my mother than my father. Both had died in a car accident five years ago and I missed them both.

I wondered what they would have said if they were alive?

I was on a road that I knew I could not turn back from.

 

I had no need of a stylist for the first meeting of the entire cast so Bel didn't come. She had to concentrate on her school to get it ready for sale. There were no shortages of buyers but she did have to show the new owners how to operate it.

'Are you sure you want to sell it?' I asked her and Bel laughed loudly.

'Are you kidding? God, yes! To get back to the theatre is wonderful, it's what I've missed.'

The first meeting would be a read-only in small rehearsal rooms while the sets were being built in the theatre so I was fairly comfortable with the process but nervous all the same. I wore a pair of black jeans I had borrowed from Bel. She told me that they fitted me better than her but I was a bit surprised how big my bottom looked in them.

'What?' Bel said with a laugh when I asked her. 'Did you ask me if your bottom was too big in those jeans?'

'Don't worry about it,' I mumbled, red faced.

'They look fantastic, you look fantastic and very sexy. Wear that black top we bought with it and you can borrow my leather jacket.' Bel experimented with my hair and pulled it back, after brushing it upwards and made a simple half ponytail. I looked in the mirror and was satisfied. Casual but sexy and no one could mistake me for a man.

I walked into the rehearsal rooms and was greeted by Richard who, it appeared, had decided to put our disagreement behind us. I thought it was best that I should as well.

'Miss Lawrence,' he cried as if he was surprised.

'Richard,' I replied, accepting his air-kisses. 'Please call me Cate.'

He introduced me to the cast, Wade Thompson stared at me and, for a moment I inwardly panicked, worrying that he had recognised me. Then I saw his eyes were mostly on my breasts and I recognised the look, it was pure lust.

'I'm so glad to meet you Catherine,' Wade said, smiling, eyes dropping to my breasts and back to my face. Does he think I don't see it, I wondered? 'Lucy has told me how talented you are and if you need any assistance, personal rehearsals or anything, please don't hesitate to ask.'

I smiled and managed to stop giggling. Did he really think his charm was so overpowering? 'Thank you, Wade, you're very kind.'

Sarah smiled warmly at me and embraced me. 'I'm glad you're here,' she said. 'It will make a real difference.'

'It's nice of you to say so, Miss Wright,' I murmured.

'Sarah, please.'

I smiled. 'Ok Sarah, I'm Cate.'

Sir Humphrey Barton, a famous Shakespearean actor was playing David and I was suddenly overwhelmed by his presence. He smiled at me when we were introduced but didn't say anything.

We sat around a long table for the first read, cups of coffee, bottles of water and fruit juices in the middle and all of us with pens to mark our scripts or to add notes in our character book. All actors used notebooks to describe the character they were playing, build a background to give motivation and ideas of relationships they, or their character, had with other characters.

Sarah sat at the end of the table beside Richard and I wondered how she felt, now that her play, her words was now taking shape. The characters she had created on paper were now living human beings, sitting around a table, watching and waiting.

'I think,' Richard said with a smile, 'before were begin we should run around the table and tell us a little of your background and how you came to be here.'

Wade was seated next to him, so he began with what was, I suppose, a charming smile. He had been in repertory, a few plays, television and had just completed a film in America. 'Just a supporting role,' he said modestly, 'and I'm here because I auditioned and was,' he smiled again, 'obviously successful.'

Sir Humphrey described himself briefly as an actor and said he was here because Sarah was a friend and she had asked him. He nodded to Sarah with a kind smile when he said it and she returned his smile.

Suddenly, they were looking at me. I cleared my throat. 'I'm trying to be an actor,' I said, 'and I know I have much to learn. I'm here because I fell in love with the play when I read it and I auditioned.' They seemed to want more but I smiled and flicked through the script. Sir Humphrey was watching me but he turned away when I looked at him. Maybe he's seen something, I worried, maybe he knows.

'Now,' Richard said breezily, 'let's have a casual read-through. We are fortunate to have Sarah here so if you have any character questions, ask away.' Everyone nodded when Richard looked around the table. 'Right, Act I, Scene I.'

Hugh Benson, who played the minor role of the detective, began and we all settled down to work. At least we tried to as all of the actors except Sir Humphrey and I, asked Sarah an awful lot of questions that I thought were, frankly, rather trite.

Finally, we closed Scene I. Simone makes her first appearance at the beginning of Scene II and I was a little nervous. However, once I started, I fell into the role and it was, I thought, going well. It was only the first read-through so I was casual and, thankfully, the questions had ceased. We finished the casual read-through and broke for lunch.

I wandered over to the table where sandwiches had been laid out and picked up a small apple. I was munching on it when Henri appeared with a woman in tow.

'People,' he said in that shrill voice, 'this is Monica who is responsible for ticket sales, group bookings and, we hope, sponsorship.'

'Hello everyone,' she said brightly. 'I'll be wheeling in potential sponsors when I can and if you can assist, it would be appreciated.' Everyone nodded but I could see, like actors everywhere, they didn't really wish to be involved with the commercial side, they considered it beneath them.

I think Monica sensed that but she smiled again, although a little sadly, and stepped back. I looked over and saw Sarah talking to Henri in a low voice and I remembered that she had gone into debt for this play.

Monica moved to the table with a paper plate in her hand and selected a small sandwich. 'Hello,' I said and she turned and smiled. 'I'm Cate Law…'

She cut me off with a laugh. 'I know who you are. I promoting this play, remember? I should know the cast members.'

I smiled. 'I suppose you should. Look,' I said, 'I didn't want to speak out before as I'm new and feeling my way but if I can help in anyway, please ask.'

Monica looked at me for a moment and I knew she was wondering if I was serious or just posing. 'Ok,' she said slowly, 'if there's an opportunity when you're not busy, I'll…'

'No,' I said, 'Monica, I am perfectly serious, I understand what you have to do and I want this play to succeed so whether I'm busy or not and I can help, please ask.'

She appeared a little stunned and then she smiled. 'Thank you,' Monica said quietly.

After lunch, Richard called us back to the table. 'This time we will act on this read-through, we will savour the lines and perform. There will be no breaking from character and we will test for time. Rodney?' The young man who had read with me at my audition stepped forward with a clipboard and a stopwatch. 'Time each scene, please.' Rodney nodded and we picked up our scripts.

'Let's sit down and begin,' Richard said.

'Richard,' I said hesitantly, 'I'd rather stand, if you don't mind?'

Richard was about to say something when Sir Humphrey smiled and said, 'I prefer to stand as well, Richard.' Of course, all the actors decided to stand then and Richard shrugged.

'Fine. Hugh?'

Scenes I and II went well and I found myself deep within Simone, tasting the words and feeling the emotions Simone felt. I was in my own world, Simone's world.

Scene III was a little more intense and I focussed on it. Sir Humphrey's deep voice boomed around the small room when Simone and David had their first small confrontation, the moment when Simone is first defeated.

David: I think you understand the situation, Simone?

Simone (shaken): I… I think… mean, you cannot be serious? David: I am a very serious man. (laughs) I cannot imagine how you thought you could win against me. You should be home with your husband, girlie!

Simone (almost crying): Yes, yes, I suppose I should. I….

David: You will do what I say, let's be perfectly clear. Are we clear, Simone?

Simone: (softly) Yes, I'm clear.

 

Tears were running down my cheeks as we silently turned the pages to begin Act II. I was emotionally charged and so, it seemed was everyone as we powered through the scenes of Act II. The time slipped away, it had no relevance and soon we were in Act III, the final act.

 

David: Don't make accusations you cannot support, Simone!

Simone (mildly): I think you mean substantiate, David. I would have thought the Chairman would have a better command of the English language. Perhaps you'll have time to brush up when you're in prison. Don't worry I can prove everything very easily.

David: I don't think it's wise to threaten me…

Simone (laughing): Threaten? I don't threaten, David, I just do! I expect your letter of resignation within ten minutes.

David: Or you'll do what?

Simone: Do? Let's see if you're man enough to find out.

 

We reached the final scene and Wade moved closer to me as he read, his face was pale and I saw he was a better actor than I first thought.

Then we were there, the final lines.

 

Tom: I don't think you understand my difficulties, Simone.

Simone (sharply): Don't you Tom? I think I've had enough difficulties of my own, I think I've had experience! Don't you? Don't you Tom?

Tom: Simone, don't…

Simone (anguished): Don't what Tom? Don't embarrass you, or is it you don't want to remind you? Remind you of what you've done, done to me?

Tom: Simone, can't we try again. Can't we…

Simone (harshly): Try again, after what you and your friends and family have done to me? You're pathetic.

Tom: Simone…

Simone: I've changed, Tom! You changed me and I'm stronger and I'm happy being me! This is who I am, me!

Tom turns and walks away, a beaten man.

House lights down, single spot on Simone.

Simone: This is who I am, this is me!

Fade to black, curtain down.

 

Silence hung over us and suddenly, everyone in the small room burst into applause and I looked around stunned. Sarah was applauding wildly and Henri and Richard were wreathed in smiles. Monica was staring, with wide eyes as she clapped.

Richard spoke as the applause died down. 'Do you think we should do another read-through?' Everyone booed him and he laughed. 'That was fantastic. We move into the theatre the day after tomorrow, we'll walk through then. Be there at ten everybody. Good night.'

Wade congratulated me as he left and this time, he looked directly at my face.

Sir Humphrey came over and kissed my cheek.

'I'm afraid, my dear, I must apologise,' he murmured and I looked at him surprised.

'Apologise? What for, Sir Humphrey?'

'I think I was rather rude when we were introduced. I must admit I thought you were here because of your beauty. I was wrong, you are as talented as you are beautiful.'

I flushed. 'Please, there's no need…'

Sarah came over, linked arms with us both, smiling happily. 'Didn't I tell you Humpy?' she said, 'Didn't I tell you she was Simone?'

'Indeed you did,' he smiled. 'I should have listened.'

'You were fantastic, Cate,' Sarah said. 'Thank you.'

'Indeed you were, Miss Lawrence,' Sir Humphrey said.

'Please,' I murmured, 'call me Cate.'

'Then you must call me Humpy, all my friends do.'

'Oh, I don't know if I could.'

'Am I that old?' he asked wistfully and I smiled.

'No, it's just that you have been a hero of mine for so long, I loved your Hamlet and Richard III. I just don't know if I could call…'

'Oh call him Humpy, Cate,' Sarah exclaimed, laughing, hugging me. 'He's just an old teddy bear and,' she said with a smile at him, 'he's an awfully dear friend.'

'Good evening, Cate,' Sir Humphrey said with a courtly bow. 'I'm looking forward to our first walk through.'

'So am I. Good night, ah…Humpy?' I flushed and Sarah laughed.

 

That night, I went through the sequence of events for Belinda who hung on every word. I began describing while we cooked and I finally finished as we sat down to eat.

'I'm coming to the walk-through,' she said firmly. 'I need to start getting an understanding of the wardrobe. Who's wardrobe mistress?'

'I don't know, we weren't told.'

'I'll find out.'

'What about your business?'

'Don't worry, it's organised.' Suddenly, she hugged me. 'Cate, this is so exciting!'

'Yes,' I said wondrously, 'it is isn't it?'

Bel sat back, studying me. 'Everything ok?'

'Yes, it is,' I smiled. 'It's perfect.'

 

Belinda was spending the day with the new owners of her business so I was at a loose end after I cleaned the flat. I was just finishing vacuuming when the doorbell rang.

It was Lucy who smiled when she saw me in casual skirt, pink top and hair in a scarf. 'Am I interrupting?'

'Just cleaning, come in.' She had her briefcase and she placed it on the table. 'Would you like a cup of tea?'

'That would be nice,' she said, sitting down as I put the kettle on. 'It's not fair, Cate,' she called to me in the kitchen.

I popped my head around the door. 'What? What's not fair?'

'That even doing housework you look sexy and glamorous.'

'Oh get away with you!'

I put the teapot and cups on the table. She was still smiling when she poured the tea. 'The read-through went well?'

'I think so.'

'You think so?' Lucy raised an eyebrow. 'I hear Sir Humphrey is in love with you.'

'Lucy,' I said, face red, 'stop it.'

'Just a little friendly teasing, Cate but everybody was impressed. Sarah is over the moon. Monica tells me you are prepared to help in charming sponsors. I don't think Chris would have done that.'

'I don't think Chris really cared about people,' I said softly. 'I do.'

Lucy patted my hand and then smiled again. 'We have to arrange your bank accounts so I can arrange for your money to be transferred. You will want credit cards and things, I suspect? I can introduce you to my private banker if you like, he'll do everything for you.'

I suddenly felt sick. 'Bank accounts?' I asked in a sad voice. 'How do I do that? Don't you need identification?'

Lucy pretended to think hard and I immediately knew she was up to something. 'Identification? What, like a birth certificate or a passport or something?'

'Well, yes,' I said staring miserably at the table.

Lucy rummaged in her brief case and placed a document in front of me. 'Like this?' she asked quietly.

I stared at it, it was a copy of a birth certificate for Catherine Christine Lawrence, born on the 22^nd of April twenty-four years ago in Dublin. 'Dublin?' I asked, stunned.

'Yes, but you moved to Liverpool when you were five and it's there you went to school with Belinda and Mark. It's all in there.' She placed a thick folder on the table. 'You and Belinda had better get to know that file well, ok? Can you do the Liverpool accent?' I nodded, still stunned. 'It might be nice for you to slip into it every now and again. Oh,' Lucy said with a twinkle in her eyes, 'I almost forgot, you may like this as well.'

Lucy placed a Euro passport on the table and I opened it, a picture of me stared back. 'That's why the photos in the office?' I murmured and she nodded.

'I had to make sure I got your ear but it was acceptable. What do you think?'

'They're wonderful but, Lucy,' I asked, stumbling over the words, 'are they…'

'Real? Absolutely! Not fakes, absolutely legitimate.'

'But…how?'

'Don't ask,' Lucy said firmly. 'I have my ways and I used a big favour I've stored up over the years. Look,' she said firmly, 'I did this because I think you're bloody marvellous. I wanted to help Chris but it was impossible but now when I look at you it's like a butterfly has sprung from a drab cocoon. Shit,' she groaned,' I'm becoming poetic. But, I just want to help you, I'm so proud of you.'

I blinked and tried to smile. 'Lucy, thanks.'

Lucy smiled as she packed up her briefcase. 'Why don't you get dressed so I can help you get the bank accounts set up?'

'Now?'

'Yes, so you can have money? So,' she said seriously, 'we can go shopping?'

I got changed immediately. As I was getting ready, I marvelled at how easily I did it now and how much I enjoyed it. Chris would have been lucky to spend thirty seconds on getting ready while I would spend and hour or so. Chris didn't care how he looked, while I cared greatly.

End of Catherine Lawrence Part 5 by Carmenica Diaz

  

  

  

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