Camp Shoni

by

Pamela

pamelapamela@hotmail.com

 

Chapter 9

 

As Lorin rode on the bus to Poughkeepsie, for the first time since he had cooked up his plan months ago, he felt free of the immediate danger that his subterfuge would be discovered by his parents. He sank back into his seat and relaxed and felt giddy with happiness. He had done the impossible and it must mean that he could continue to do the impossible. He would act the part of a teenage girl that summer at Camp Shoni so perfectly that no suspicion would ever be raised. Lorin watched the scenery slide by. Each road or house or town that the bus passed meant he was that much closer to realizing his dream and he felt happy and content. It wasn't long, however, before he found himself wondering if he were happier now than he had been in the meadow with Penny a few days earlier. It was a big and important question and he honestly did not know the answer. Maybe by the end of the summer he would know. Whatever way it came out was likely to affect the whole future course of his life.

Lorin couldn't help but appreciate the irony that if he did get caught at Camp Shoni then he would not have to answer the big question himself: it would be answered for him by his parents and maybe even the police. In a strange, sadistic way, there was some comfort in that scenario since it gave him a way to relax and just let life wash over himself without having to think. Thinking, that was his worst enemy, since it had got him to where he was at that moment. He was too clever for his own good and it had made him think up this crazy plan and now he had no way to pull it off as perfectly as he would want. Lorin felt his spirits sag and his anxiety rise. The all too familiar image came back to him that he had been trying to put out of his mind all that spring: the image of himself slipping and sliding down a steep hill into an abyss. At the bottom would be his parents, sister, other relatives and friends yelling at him and crying. Only Beth would be the exception, and he hoped Penny would also, but he did not know for sure. He wished the bus would speed up and up and up and get him to Poughkeepsie so fast that he wouldn't have the time to think any more about all these things

Lorin distracted himself by counting highway signs and his anxiety passed. A minute later he thought that maybe he had just two hours left as Lorin if even that. Would he miss his boy self? Would his boy self actually be missing? Would his girl self long to be his boy self? The thoughts swirled in his head.

Lorin looked around the bus to see if anyone else might be going to camp. There were a couple of boys his age sitting next to each other a few rows ahead of him but there was nothing obvious about them to suggest why they were going to camp. Lorin saw a girl up front near the driver. From what he could tell she did not seem to be too attractive. Lorin caught a man looking at him who then looked away when Lorin returned the gaze. Lorin wondered if the man could tell he was a guy, or had he wondered for even a second that maybe Lorin was a girl. He hoped so, since it would make his task that much simpler.

Finally Lorin took a book out of his backpack and became absorbed in reading, and then before he knew it the bus pulled into the station at Poughkeepsie. Trembling, Lorin put his backpack on and got off the bus. In a few minutes his trunk was unloaded and Lorin sucked in his stomach and forced himself to be brave. This is it, the games begin! He looked around the terminal to where he expected the luggage check to be and sure enough he could see it a hundred yards away across the terminal. His trunk was heavy but it slid rather easily on the hard surface of the terminal floor and Lorin did not have too much trouble pushing it across the room. A clerk gave him a numbered receipt and Lorin walked to the main entrance to the terminal and out onto the street.

Samantha's. He would now have to find the hair salon. Lorin pulled a hand drawn map he had made showing him the way to Samantha's and headed off looking at the street signs. He walked slowly having time to kill. A pizza place was at the end of the first block and Lorin debated whether he should have a slice or not. He decided he was too nervous to eat; in fact he had no appetite. Shortly before noon he found himself standing outside Samantha's Unisex Salon. Through the large picture window he saw several people inside. There appeared to be a woman hairdresser who was middle aged and a younger male hairdresser. A couple of women were in barber chairs having their hair styled.

The presence of the man was disconcerting and Lorin hoped he wouldn't be listening in on his conversation with Samantha. While he was looking through the window, the woman stylist saw him and Lorin had no choice but to enter the shop. When he came in the woman called out to him, "are you Lorin?"

"Yeah," Lorin said nervously.

"Have a seat, I'll be with you soon."

Lorin couldn't tell if she was friendly or not. The woman was preoccupied with a conversation she was having with the woman whose hair she was styling. Lorin sat down and picked up a magazine and looked at the cover. It was a trade magazine for the hairstyle industry and Lorin skimmed through it looking at women's hairstyles. It was Greek to him and the more he looked the more confused he became as to what sort of hairstyle he should adopt. He hoped that Samantha would be able to tell him what he should do.

After ten minutes Lorin could see that it was noon, but Samantha didn't seem to be close to finishing with her customer. The bus for Camp Shoni was to leave at 1 and Lorin didn't see how he could get his hair styled and get back to the station in much less than an hour. Maybe a 5 or 10 minute delay would be OK, but then he'd be really pressing it. Not only was the terminal several blocks away, but he would have to switch to being Lauren before he got there. This was not looking good. Samantha and the woman chatted casually and every so often Samantha stopped working and just talked.

At 12:10, the male stylist finished with his customer and she paid him and left. The stylist said something to Samantha and vanished into a back room. Just as it came to 12:15 Lorin put down the magazine, stood up and began pacing back and forth and staring hard at Samantha hoping she would see him.

After a minute, she glanced at him and said, "I'm sorry, I'll be done soon."

"I'm sorry but I have to catch a bus, remember?"

"I think I said I would try and fit you in, and I will."

"Oh, OK," Lorin said. A wave of depression descended over him. It was 12:20, in another minute or two it would be impossible to make the bus as Lauren. What would he do? Did the camp have any provision for late campers? There had been a warning in the camp documents in capital letters about the importance of arriving at the bus before 1 since it would leave promptly.

Lorin slumped down in the chair and fought back tears that seemed to be coming on. He had worked so hard for so long to get to Camp Shoni, and now the plan was unraveling by a few minutes. He felt Samantha staring at him, but he couldn't look up. He put his hands up to his face to hide behind them. The futility of his situation was overwhelming. A great weight descended on his shoulders pushing him down and he felt sorry for himself. He didn't want to feel sorry for himself, but the burden had become too large and he just couldn't take it any longer.

After a minute or two he felt the presence of someone near him and he opened his eyes and saw Samantha standing over him.

"You look like you're going to die."

"I was hoping I could get changed, you know, like I said on the phone, before the bus leaves at 1. I'll never make it now."

"I'm almost done."

Lorin looked up at the clock it was 12:26. He feebly pointed to it. Samantha looked back at the woman in the chair. She wasn't close to being done. "I feel terrible. Maybe Gus could do it."

"Gus?"

"He was just here, the other stylist."

"A man?" Lorin said. Lorin had never planned for the possibility that a man would be the one to turn his appearance into that of a girl. His transformation had always seemed like a girl thing to him. It only involved girls and not guys. Guys would never understand his wanting to be a girl, but girls would. They would be able to understand his hunger for all that they had.

"Is that a problem for you?"

"It's just that, you know what I need done?"

"Make you look like a girl, right?"

"Yeah," Lorin said. Her voice was loud enough for her customer to hear and Lorin winced in embarrassment.

With an effort he added, "you don't think he would laugh at me?" Lorin wasn't sure that laugh was the right word, but it seemed to explain in his own mind why it was that he didn't think a man should be the one to turn him into a girl.

"Why do you think I wouldn't laugh at you?" Samantha said, amused by Lorin's remark.

This almost brought on his tears and Samantha quickly added, "I'll see if Gus can cut your hair, and if he can I'll make sure he won't laugh at you."

Lorin nodded his head and Samantha went to the back room and a minute later she returned. "He says no problem. Give him a minute to finish his lunch."

"OK, thanks," Lorin said in a tiny voice. It was his only option and he would have to take it despite whatever embarrassment he might feel.

"Go ahead and sit in his chair, he'll be right with you. He's very good."

Lorin did what she said and in a minute Gus appeared. "What's the deal? Samantha says you want a girl's style, is that it? For a play or something?"

"I can't thank you enough," Lorin said, and in mid sentence something came over him and he desperately wanted to talk as if he were Lauren. In his best girl's voice like he had practiced with Beth, he continued, "I've got to look like a girl. Yes it's for a part sort of, as you can see I've been practicing it a lot. But I've got so little time now. My bus leaves at 1 promptly, do you think we have enough time?"

"Oh sure, yeah no problem."

"That's so kind of you."

"So what kind of girl's style do you want?"

"Whatever makes me most look like one, can you do that?"

The elderly woman being attended to by Samantha turned around to stare at Lorin.

"I don't see why not. I better shampoo you first."

"Is there time?" Lorin asked.

"There had better be, because I can't do what you want with a dry cut. Trust me it'll be all right."

"I've been growing my hair long to make it look more girl like."

"I can see that," Gus said. He led Lorin to a back area of the shop where he washed Lorin's hair and then brought him back to his styling chair.

"Your hair is medium length, between your shoulders and chin. So, I'd guess something like bangs across the front, a part over the middle of your head and your hair sweeping around the sides of your face just over the outer corner of your eyes and the outer parts of your cheeks and angling to just below your chin. Your face will look soft and feminine, any male angularity will be behind your hair."

"That sounds so fantastic!"

"Well let's see how it turns out first."

Lorin glanced at the clock and Gus said, "I know. Relax. I'll have you done in no time."

As much as he wanted to believe Gus, he felt extreme anxiety deep in his loins. It was a hot intense feeling that seemed to encompass the entire midsection of his body. He watched Gus select a scissor and with confident hands gather the strands of his hair together and snip them across the front. The immediate transformation in the mirror was striking. Using a brush, Gus organized the part at the top of his head and when it was aligned he cut the hair so it would fall like he had suggested over his face.

Like a wizard Gus conjured up the girl in Lorin and as Lorin watched in growing amazement he saw Lauren appearing more and more clearly. Later he would reflect many times over on when had been the exact moment in the mirror when the balance tipped away from Lorin to Lauren. It was a subtle thing, but there was a certain point after which anyone looking at Lorin's face would think they were looking at a girl. Not just any girl, but a young feminine girl, with a rather pretty face peering out from behind her bangs and long strands of delicate, straight hair converging toward her chin. Lorin felt his eyes tearing up and then a drop fell down along his cheek. He was now Lauren. That was it. It was done. He was a she. He would now think of himself only as a she. The girl whose image he saw in the mirror had been Lorin and now she was Lauren. That girl, she was Lauren. Lorin was Lauren.

The self-image of Lorin, the boy who had planned this summer at Camp Shoni, receded from Lauren's mind at blindingly fast speed until all that Lauren knew with sure knowledge was that she was a girl. She was a she. She was Lauren.

Gus noticed the tear coming down Lauren's cheek and gently wiped it away with his hand.

"It's a tear of joy," Lauren said.

"I know," Gus said smiling. "I won't probe any further, but just answer me one question."

"Sure," Lauren said in the voice Beth had taught Lorin weeks earlier, "I owe it to you. I owe you a lot."

"Why this shop, this day, in Poughkeepsie?"

Lauren smiled. "I'm on my way to camp. It's the camp bus I have to make. Oh, and it's not a coed camp."

Gus stared at Lauren shaking his head, "a gutsy thing if I ever heard one. My goodness."

Samantha had finished with her customer and she came over to see the transformation. "He comes in a boy and leaves as a girl. You're a magician Gus."

"Did he," Gus started to say and stopped after seeing Lauren give him a sharp glance. "I mean, did she tell you why she needed this?"

"She?" Samantha looked momentarily surprised and then said, "he/she/it, whatever, said it's for a play, isn't that true?"

"Tell her," Gus said to Lauren.

"I'm going to a girl's camp this summer."

"A girl's camp? You're going to be among girls, pretending you're a girl? That wasn't truthful of you," Samantha said though she did not sound upset.

"I feel terrible having deceived you, but I had no choice. Everything depended on this and it's turned out so much better than I ever could have imagined. I am forever grateful to you."

"You've left us vulnerable," Samantha said. "If you get caught I imagine we'll be blamed."

"But there's no law about giving a boy a girl's haircut, is there?" Lauren said.

"Maybe not, but I do feel like the shop has aided and abetted the delinquency of a minor."

Gus laughed, "chill, Samantha, it's only hair. We didn't give him a boob job."

Lauren glanced at the clock and saw that she had barely ten minutes left.

"I truly am sorry, but I've got to go. I can't thank you enough, really. It's so much better than I ever imagined."

"You're hair is damp."

"I know, but there isn't any time."

Lauren got up, reached in her knapsack and took out her money. "What do I owe you?"

"It's just fifteen for the cut."

"That's all?" Lauren gave Gus twenty five dollars. "Can I use your bathroom for a minute?"

"Sure," Gus said indicating where it was.

Lauren hurried to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She took off all of Lorin's clothes and from the backpack she took out panties and put them on, followed by a pair of thin pink socks. She next took out the bra that Lorin had placed in the backpack and with extreme delight she expertly put it on. It was padded and exquisitely pretty and Lauren said out loud, "how did I ever manage without a bra before." She looked approvingly at herself in the small mirror and then hurriedly put the pink bunny tee shirt over it. The last two articles of clothing were her shorts and a pair of girls sneakers and then she was done.

There wasn't much time to admire herself in the bathroom mirror, but she couldn't resist the temptation to take in the whole new look of herself. She was cute, even without make up or anything and she loved the way her hair looked. It was nice to be wearing a bra and feeling so feminine. There was something utterly fulfilling about the feeling of having breasts. It was like she was complete now. Most wonderful of all was that she felt that her longing had ended. Yes, she could sense that there was still some longing in her, perhaps to not have a penis, or to have a narrower waist but these were subsidiary to a primal desire inside herself to project the image of a womanly figure to the world. It was breasts that seemed most important and now she could look forward to many days ahead, one after the other drawn from a rich mother lode of days, like taking withdrawals from a bank vault filled with riches, where she would be wearing a bra and experiencing all that society gives to those who are female, or at least have the appearance of being female.

Lauren stepped out of the bathroom holding Lorin's clothes in a neat pile. The clock said it was almost one. "I've got to run! I don't need these clothes where I'm going. Can I just leave them here?" she asked.

Samantha took the clothes from Lauren and said, "hurry up. You're never going to make it!"

"I'll drive you," Gus said, "my car is out front."

"Would you!" Lauren said.

"C'mon!" Gus said and they rushed out to his car.

As they waited at a traffic light with the terminal in sight, Lauren said, "actually, I may be coming through here in two months and I might need my hair changed back."

"Really?"

"Even if I don't, I may stop by then to say hello and I hope you'll be there."

"I hope you do. I'm really going to want to find out how it all turns out for you."

The car started moving and when they got to the terminal, Lauren saw several girls wearing pink tee shirts. "Whew, the bus must not have left, there are bunch of other bunnies."

Before Lauren left the car she turned to Gus and said. "You saved my life and I'll never be able to thank you enough."

"The pleasure is all mine," Gus said.

Impulsively, Lauren leaned toward him and gave him a little kiss on his cheek and then left the car. She waved to Gus as he drove off and then hurried to pick up her trunk.

When a camp counselor saw Lauren trying to drag the trunk across the floor she said, "let me help you with that!"

"Thank you," Lauren said, "it's awfully heavy!"

"What's your name?"

"Lauren Baxter."

"Small world! I'm Marilyn, your counselor for the bunnies of cabin 4!"

As they struggled with the trunk, Lauren said, "It's my first year at Camp Shoni."

"We've got a great group of girls this year. I'm sure you're going to have loads of fun."

"I've been so excited about camp, it's hard to believe it's actually going to start."

"I know exactly what you mean."

They brought the trunk close enough to the bus and then let it down. Marilyn went off to help another girl and Lauren looked around at the kids in the bus station. She saw that some of the girls were wearing blue tee shirts that identified them as Wolves at Camp Shoni. Nearby there was a bus for camp Dan that was close to being fully boarded. Through the window Lauren saw a few faces that she recognized. She didn't see her friend Owen, but figured his parents drove him up to camp anyway. One thing that was certain was that the bus wasn't leaving promptly at one. Her hysteria over the last hour had been pointless.

Glancing around at the girls in pink tee shirts Lauren saw a familiar face and then realized it must be Joan, or someone who looked exactly like the picture that Joan had sent. The girl had dark hair and was much more well developed than Lauren. "Hi Joan!" Lauren exclaimed.

Joan turned around and eyed Lauren quizzically. "You're Joan in Cabin 4, aren't you?" Lauren said.

"Yes! Lauren? Is that you? You've totally changed your hairstyle. You look so much different. I love that hairstyle it's so adorable."

Lauren didn't know if she was supposed to hug Joan, but she did so anyway and Joan hugged her back.

"I thought I'd try something new that my hairdresser suggested. I'm so glad you like it."

"It's cute," Joan said. "I haven't seen any of the other girls; I suppose they're not coming by bus. It's just you and me."

"It's my first time at Camp Shoni," Lauren said.

"You'll love it. I do. I've been going for three years already. This year we get to go to the dances and the big cotillion at the end. It's so neat."

"I know, I was reading about the cotillion. It sounds so wonderful."

"It is. A lot of the girls from the lower camp help with the decorations and when the boys start arriving we're allowed to watch them. They wear ties and jackets."

"It must be magical."

"Yes, magical, only this year I, I mean we, won't have to watch from the sidelines."

"I can't wait."

"It's funny that way. We all can't wait for the cotillion, but the cotillion means the end of the summer, and we'll all be crying that the good times are over."

"Bittersweet."

"Exactly."

Joan recognized one of the boys on the bus and pointed him out to Lauren. It was a guy that Lauren also knew, Frank, one of the older campers from last year. He had a reputation as being a great athlete and was very popular. "I remember him from last year when he used to come to some of the dances," Joan said. "You have to watch yourself with him. He's slick."

"What would an older guy like that want with us?"

"You'd be surprised. They like to take advantage of our innocence."

Lauren was glad that Joan was so helpful. "To be honest, I haven't had too much experience with boys. My parents are pretty strict about dating."

Joan smiled, "we're the bunnies, remember? I think the girls who want to be bunnies haven't dated much. You'll see that the wolves all act like they're such experts and so experienced."

Lauren noticed that Joan had a large stuffed Orca resting on top of her suitcase.

"I'm sure I'm going to have so much fun this summer as a cabin 4 bunny," Lauren said.

"If the other girls are as nice as you, I'm sure we'll get along wonderfully," Joan said.

The bus was beginning to load and Lauren said, "I better freshen up."

"Don't go to the terminal bathroom. There's a nicer one across the street in the Wendy's."

"Thanks," Lauren said, "I'll be right back. Don't let them leave without me!"

At the Wendy's Lauren saw the adjacent bathrooms for men and women and for the first time in her life was able to go into the ladies room. It seemed like a magical experience, going through that portal to a world that had been forever the province of her mom and sister and other girls. Now the ladies room belonged to her also. It was where ladies went and she was a young lady now.

With great attention to detail, Lauren peed like a girl. She sat, she dabbed at her pretend vagina with tissue paper. She quickly went through her purse and put a slight bit of makeup on her face and a dab of very light pink shaded lipstick on her lips. She made a brief try at combing her hair. Luckily it was a style that did not need a lot of attention. She had noticed since she had left Samantha's that she often found herself sweeping the hair off of her face and she concentrated on making the gesture as natural and feminine as possible.

Lauren and Joan sat together on the bus. Joan was next to the window which gave Lauren an opportunity to look at her while pretending to be looking at the scenery as the bus made its way toward the mountains and Camp Shoni. Lauren compared herself to Joan: their hair, their skin, their arms, their facial features, their legs and feet. Lauren decided that her own hair was as girlish as Joan's and her arms were perhaps even a bit thinner than hers. Her feet were definitely a bit bigger and it was hard to tell about their skin. Lauren wondered if Joan's was softer but she couldn't just go ahead and touch her. One big difference was their finger nails. Joan's had a kind of light blue polish with some sparkles in it, while Lauren's were bare.

As they rode along bouncing as the bus negotiated the small roads, Lauren said, "one thing I really need to do is get my nails polished. My mom doesn't believe in makeup."

"Believe me, it'll be one of the biggest activities in our cabin. Trying out nail polish and talking about boys, they go hand and hand."

"Great," Lauren said and even giggled slightly.

"What color?" Joan asked.

"Probably pink. It's my favorite color. I've always loved pink."

"Me too, but for some reason I love blue nail polish."

They rode on in silence. Lauren watched as the bumping of the bus caused Joan's breasts to slightly bounce and jostle. She looked down at her own breasts as defined by the foam cups of her bra and they were clearly not moving. Lauren felt envious, even more so than normal, since she felt that in some ways she had a right to have real breasts now. It was unfair that she didn't. And when she thought about the fact that she had a penis, she felt a wave of hopelessness. Surely she had demonstrated to the world during the past half hour that she was now a girl. In fact, it was clear to her that being a girl was not about having a penis or not, so God might as well just give her the right anatomy and just be done with it!

In another hour the bus pulled through the gates of Camp Shoni and Lauren gazed with excitement at the wooden buildings, the sports facilities and the beautiful Lake Navajo that would be her home for the next two months. Regardless of anything, she would make the best of the situation, and not spend the summer praying for miracles. Just getting to camp Shoni was really a miracle enough.

End of Chapter 9

  

  

  

*********************************************
© 2007 by Pamela. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, and compilation design) may be printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without the express written consent of StorySite and the copyright holder.