The Campfire Girl       by: Miss Deborah Leigh Johnson

 

Saturday, August 10 1991

4:30 pm

I know that this is going to be one of the most unusual times that I have ever spent in my life, so I want to keep accurate records of all that happens this week. That is why I am writing this diary of my experiences for the week. I do not want to forget even the smallest detail.

First, let me tell you what situation we are in, okay? We are in a beautiful campsite in Northern New York state. It is raining out, a sort of wet drizzly kind of day. In spite of the drizzle, we decided to embark on our week long camping escapade anyway. Well, my sister Sharon was the one who decided for us. I was voluntold that I was going to go with her.

We have managed to get two tents set up. One tent is a smaller one, with just enough rom in it for the sleeping cots that just barely fit into it. It is a bit cramped, but two people can get along in it, if they do not do much aside from sleeping in it.

The other one is the one we are sitting in now, as I begin my journal. It is a large tent, with flaps on all four sides. It is what is referred to as a dining tent. Because it is not raining too hard, we have put all four flaps up, to let whatever breezes blow to come in.

Where we are set up is just such a beautiful place. It is the Higley Flow state park, just outside of South Colton in New York. The small open space for our tents is surrounding by these huge 60 to 70 foot pine trees that sway like graceful ballet dancers in the wind.

We are on site 3 of loop A. It is so beautiful here. Another nice thing is that there is almost no undergrowth here. All the hill tops, under the pines are covered in a floor of brown pine needles. They are so soft to walk on. They have a delightful scent to.

Now, if you were in a car and you were driving by, you would see two young girls sitting at a pcinic table, inside the dining tent. There is lots of bright light as we have electricity at this site. It would be obviously, from their looks that the two girls were sisters.

One has short cropped blonde hair, a small cute pixy like face with constantly smiling eyes. She is wearing a pair of cut off denim jeans that are cut just above her knees. Draped over her slim shoulders is loosely hung large bulky pink wool sweater. You could not see it if you were driving by, but I know that under her shorts and sweater, that the only things she is wearing are a delicate pink silk pair of panties and its matching bra, trimmed with delicate white lace. At her ankles, all bunched up, are her white knee socks and on her feet are scruffy white sneakers.

The other girl (me) Brenda, looks younger. She is younger. Sharon is eighteen, and as I am only fifteen, the second girl looks like she is the younger of the two. Her hair is quite a bit longer than her sister’s, falling in thick waves to her shoulders. The damp air has made her hair complete in its unmanageable curliness. Presently, her mop is pulled back from falling in her face by her pink hair ribbon, which loosely gathers her hair back into an informal loose ponytail, resting on her left shoulder.

She is sitting at the picnic table, in a pink corduroy jumper that has three quarter length legs and sleeves. It also has a wide elastic waist band that tends to emphasize her waist’s slimness. Also, her ankles are in white socks, bunched, like her sister’s. On her feet are pink sneakers. It is not evident from our seated positions, but, the second girl is 1 ½" shorter than older sister.

Like Sharon, I too, am wearing pretty lingerie. Only, mine are in a very pretty light mauve color. The only differences between what she is wearing under her outer clothes, and what I’m wearing, under my outer clothes is that I am also wearing a few extra items that my pretty sister is not wearing.

I am also painfully aware that I am wearing these extra items as well. Partly that is because they do tend to give me a good deal of discomfort, bordering on pain. Actually, I am getting quite used to them, and, in some strange way, I do find them somewhat comforting. Let me describe them to you, okay.

Firstly, glued to my chest by some adhesive that can not dissolve in water, and for which which Sharon had left the dissolving agent back home, is a small pair of soft rubber breasts. These make my chest bulge out to nearly 35", and fill up the cups of my lace trimmed satin bra. They make the straps of my bra cut into my shoulders most of the time. Actually Sharon has gotten me to admit to her that I really do think that my breasts are pretty, and that I really do like having them on my chest. I also admitted that I like the way they make me look more like as though I were a grown up girl, just like Sharon.

I have to wear mostly, Sharon’s old clothes. That is, I am wearing the clothes that she used to wear about two years ago. I have to have almost exactly the same measurements that Sharon’d had, when she was my age.

Presently, I do have those measurements. The next item is a waist nipper corset, that is really quite tight. It has successfully trimmed 5" from my waist, taking me down to an 18" waist line. The one that I am wearing is made of a skin tone plastic kind of material that is so tight that I can not get it off without her help. In fact I can not get it on without her help either. It is on me till she decides that she will help me take it off, period. I guess that in that sense, I am imprisoned by it.

The last item that I wear that my sister is not wearing, is an ingenious little device that she made for me. She’d sewn four small round rings of metal to the bottom edge of my waist nipper, two on the front and two on the back side. Then she had taken two lace trimmed elastic, and sewn small hooks to each end. She had then sewn a triangle of heavy pink satin between the two elastics. I put it betwwen my legs, and hook the elastics on to the rings. The satin tiangle presses my penis up between my legs, tightly. This very effectively flattens out my crotch, and makes me look just exactly like my sister does, when she wears her panties. But, it also makes me sit daintily. If I do not sit carefully, I can easilly pull my groin muscles the wrong way, which, I have learned is quite a painful thing to do.

If someone were to see my exposed shadow, they would see no trace of the only remaining five inches of boyhood, that I have left to me. The way it smooths me, and makes me look like my sister, very much pleases me. It will also let me pee without having to remove it all the time, but I can only pee by sitting down on the toilet, like any other girl. I am not sure if I can remove this item by myself or not either, but at present, I don’t want to remove it. It helps me so much to feel so much more girlish when I feel that constant restraint between my legs.

You see, I always get very, very excited by wearing my sister’s clothes. I have done so ever since the first time that she wanted to dress me up in her lacy little frocks and her sodt silk panties. The first time was when I was only at the age of two years. Because I feel this way about wearing girl’s clothing, I have always needed something to keep me under control. Because this is device is attached to elastics, if I do get an erection, which is almost a constant state for me when ever I am wearing a pair of girl’s panties, it does have some stretchyness to it. But, the stretchyness is not enough to ever allow a bulge to show. I’ve even worn tight spandex cycling shorts, when I had it on, and the only thing that was visible at all were my panty lines.

I have tried to describe what you might see if you were just driving by the campsite, that is, except for the descrition of our underwear. Sharon, the older girl is reading a book. And of course, you’d see the younger girl writing in her new pink diary.

This site has almost no other people in it at the present time. There is, over on our left, site 5, a camper, but no one is at home right now. Across the street from us, on site 1, is an older man and his wife. He is really nice. His name is Harold and he came over and gave us some kerosene soaked kindling wood and a box of water proofed matches so that, if we wanted to get a fire going, we’d be able to. He even told us how to build it to make sure that it will work right. I think he just likes being around young girls.

Sharon really teased me a lot after Harold left. Let me try and explain to you, why she did that, okay?

You see, Sharon knows that I have envied her for being able to wear dresses, for as long as I can even remember. Sharon knew that, and Sharon encouraged it. Ever since I can remember, Sharon has enjoyed having me for a sister. But, it was also our very closely guarded secret.

No one knew about me wearing her dresses whenever she would babysit me. She always babysat me when my parents left us alone. No one knew that I almost always wore silk panties under my boy’s underwear. No one knew that I always wore lacy dresses and spent all my time playing with my sister’s pretty dolls, at every chance that I got to do so. Neither did anyone know that my sister had a special section of her closet, for my dresses. These were the clothes that she had outgrown, that I had grown into. When ever my mom wanted to throw them out, Sharon was always found a reason for keeping them, without betraying our secret.

Sharon knew some of the girlish boys at school, and she knew that they also had a very, very hard time of it at the school. So, she helped me learn how to act like a boy at school, and she taught me and encouraged me to act like her little sister while I was at home. But it was secret. Sharon, as far as we knew, was the only person alive who had ever seen me dressed as Brenda. She was the only person who ever called me Brenda. Sharon now thought that it was time to change that situation.

Our parents left for a three and a half week business trip about three days ago and they agreed that Sharon was responsible enough to leave in charge of her little brother, while they were away. I was delirious. I knew that this would be the first time in my life that I would be able to go to bed one day, sleep in a nightgown, after I had taken off the dress I had worn all day long, and put on new dress or skirt to wear for the next day. I knew to, that I’d be able to sleep in Sharon’s room, sharing just a wee bit more, the joys and intimacy of the privileged life of being a girl. I knew that I would not have to wear any boy’s clothes at all, not even for one long minute of this time.

Little did I realize that Sharon too had been thinking of having a sister for three weeks. As we had known about the pending trip for nearly a month, she had had a lot of time to formulate her ideas and her plans. I got my breasts and my waist nipper because she had had time to plan my girlhood for me. I did not even suspect what her plan was.

Her plan was, simply this. Because no one knew that I loved being a girl in secret, and because, we were terrified of me being exposed as a fairy, I had never been outside of the house, while I was dressed up as Brenda. My sister had made the decision that I should experience what it was really like, to have the whole world treat me like I was a pretty girl. She thought that I would never agree to masquerading as a girl in public, because of this intense fear of being discovered, and because of my absolute and complete lack of confidence in my feminine personna. She was right. I would never have agreed to it.

The first day that our parents left, Sharon insisted that I make myself as completely as girlish as I could be. She found that I did not want to resist her. Within two hours of their leaving, I’d become hairless, not that I had massive amounts of body hair anyway. I had also luxuriated in a bubble bath. I had also dressed to the nines. This also included the rare pleasure of wearing jewelry, make-up and perfume. She’d taught me all about make-up, but I never had the chance to use it very often.

This was the enticement that she used to get me to agree to let her help me into the waist nipper and to let her glue the pretty little breasts onto my chest. She did not tell me that in order to remove them, that there was a special chemical that I’d have to use, and that I could not take them off with out it. That was when she showed me the crotch apparatus that she’d made for me. I was nearly delirious when I stood in front of the mirror, looking at my flat crotch in the panties. Even though I had a very painful hard on, my pantied crotch looked just like a girl’s crotch in her panties.

This just had to be one of the most dear and exciting moments of my short life to date. I saw the way the delicate lace of the bra cup caressed my slight bulges, and how the now full cupped bra forced the bulges on my chest. I saw the thin waist and flat belly that gave me the curves I envied my sister for having. I saw the way the silk slip draped over my new girlish curves, when I lowered it over my head.

I sat and applied the make-up, the perfume, and then adorned myself with the jewelry. After an hour, I went to the closet and tried on a dress that she had just given me. Because it was so pretty, Sharon had not allowed me to wear it before. But that morning, it was in my section of her closet. I exhilarated at the loudly rustling crinolines as I raised the light green satin knee length dress over my head, and let slowly lower down over me, enveloping me in it’s utter femininity.

I adjusted the puffy sleeves, and did up the zipper in the back. I knew that it would not have looked right without the new breasts I now had. I also knew that it was tight enough around the waist, that without the new waist nipper, I would never have been able to do up the zipper.

It would not have fit me the way that it did without these new additions that Sharon had given me. The waist nipper was so tight that it was like a vice about my waist. But when I saw what I was able to look like in this dress, I was glad that I had laid on the bed and let her lace up the laces in the back as tightly as she did. At the time though, I was sure she was trying to kill me. For the first time in my entire life, I knew that I looked like a lovely young lady. I stepped into high heeled shoes and sat at the vanity, waiting for Sharon to come to dress my hair. It had taken me about three hours to get so completely girlified. I had never ever been so completely girlifeid and I was ecstaticly thrilled.

I was so completely consumed with the experience of my utter effemination, that I really had no idea of what Sharon had been up to while I was so engaged. I had not even given her much of a thought, to be entirely honest with you.

When she came up the stairs and entered the room, I stood up for her. With a loud rustling of my slips, I curtsied to her, as prettily as I could, in just exactly the way that she had taught me to curtsy. When she saw me, her eyes lit up and she clapped her hands in glee, at the vision "of loveliness" (her words) that I made.

She soon had my hair swept up in the back, and falling in a big wave to over my left ear. She pinned it and sprayed it and teased it, and all the while she chattered on and on about what a gorgeous and foxy little chick I made. She talked about how every guy on the street would have a hard on in his pants for me, if they could see me now.

I told her I wished she wouldn’t talk like that, as it made me feel kind of uncomfortable. She chided me, telling me that if I was going to be a girl, I had better get used to trying to make guys as hard as I could, because, that was why we girls got so pretty as we did. She told me that if I ever expected to be a girl, I had better get used to the way they talked about guys, and, if I did not want other girls to think I was queer or something, that I had better learn how to be like and talk just exactly like a normal girl. She also said that at my age, that that meant all about guys. She said that was 99% of what girls my age talked about.

While my mind was on that subject, she very quickly, before I could lodge my resistance to her actions, had pierced my ears. I had shiny diamond studs reflecting prettily from my lobes. If I had not thought they were so beautiful, I would have been angry at her. But, it did make me feel just that much more of a girl, actually. I think she knows me better than I know myself.

I spent the rest of that day dressed like the princess that I felt like was. Sharon kept taking photographs of me, and every once in a while, I would find that she was focusing the video camera on me as well. I loved it.

I wore a sheer pink baby doll pajama set to bed, and slept in Sharon’s bed with her that night to. And, for the first time in my life, she started kissing me, and caressing my girlified form. She played with my little rock hard cock right through my panties. After driving me almost nuts with pleasure, she showed me how to masturbate a girl. I had never seen a girl orgasm before. When I saw the way she just lay on her back and gave herself over to the sensations caused by my probing fingers, I envied what she was able to feel. I wished that it could be me that could have fingers inside of me.

Then, she told me to pretend that I was the girl, and that she was my boyfriend. She caressed my breasts, kissed my lips and eyes, ran her hand down inside the back of my panties, causing me to feel sensations that I did not know were possible for me to feel. Then she masturbated me, touching me in the way she said guys touched girls. I could not help it, and, I never would admit it to her, but as she was touching me, bringing me to the wildest orgasm that had ever shaken my body, all the while, talking to me, telling me what a guy does with a girl, I wished that for a moment that she really had been a guy. In my mind, she was my boyfriend, for a few minutes. It just seemed so natural, somehow.

I was sorely ashamed of my thoughts after she made me climax, and, I was glad that I had not confessed to her what my thoughts had been. I did not want to be a faggot. I just liked the feeling I had, when I dressed up like a girl, and that was all I wanted to do. I did not like the scenes of being a girl with a guy that had been coursing through my imagination when she was caressing me and talking to me, telling me what boys did to girls.

I was able to be Brenda for all the next day to. All day, Sharon kept telling me how pretty I was, and how I just had to have the guts to try going outside and live like a normal girl lives, at least once in my life. Under her constant prodding influence, I finally agreed to let her take me outside the next day.

The next day was this morning. It was only an hour ago that she told me about the glued on breasts, and that she had packed no boy’s clothes at all. So, if I wanted to stop being a girl, I would have to steal some clothes from a boy. But, even then, I’d still have breasts and that I would have breasts till we got back home again. So, she counselled me to relax and enjoy being treated the way all pretty girls get to be treated. I found I was truly literally trapped by my feminine compulsions, and now I had no alternative but to be the most convincing girl that I could be. I soon learned that while I had been dressing myself with such an abandonment as a girl, that first morning, that Sharon had been busy packing and stowing all of our supplies for the camping trip.

That is what led up to her teasing me about Harold. Harold was the first person, aside from Sharon, who had ever seen me as a girl. He was also the first person, aside from Sharon that ever called me Brenda. When he came over, he smiled, like men do, when they are addressing pretty girls, and he had offered us his assistance. Sharon took my hand and forced me to follow her out of the dining tent, and she told him her name, and then told him that I was her sister. I could not escape it. If I did not act like a girl, I could be in deep trouble.

He smiled and asked us a few questions and, some of them, I had to answer because he had asked them of me. I stood there acutely aware that he was seeing the feminine curves and the flat pubes of a girl, as I stood there, in my tight pink overalls. As I’d often seen girls do, I cocked one foot out to the side, and folded my arms under my new breasts, and hoped that I was convincing to him. I do not remember what he talked about, because I was so scared, and terrified that he would see how badly I was shaking. If he noticed that, he might be able to figure that there was something wrong with me. He did see me shaking, and he suggested that in that kind of mountain weather, that a delicate outfit as I was wearing should be supplemented by a sweater, or I would not just have a case of the shakes, but a serious sickness. I smiled and thanked him for his concern. I promised to put a sweater on right away.

I shrugged into a sweater as he walked back across the road, and then had to listen to Sharon imitate him, and repeat some of the kind words that he had said to me. She got her point across. I had to just get used to the fact that for this week anyway, people were going to treat me like a pretty girl, and I would have to learn to react the way girls react, or maybe I might cause myself some real problems.

If I had had to admit it to Sharon, I’d have to thank her for forcing me into my girlhood for the next week. I kind of like knowing that being a girl is not my choice now, it was the only option that I had. If I didn’t want to get seriously beat up or something, I’d better be the most convincing young lady that I was capable of being..

 

7:30 pm

I was not able to resist it any longer, Sharon just took me to the first ladies bathroom that I’ve ever been in. It is up the hill and around a corner to the left from our site. I felt strange walking over to it. Most of the people who saw us, smiled and greeted us. I knew that they knew that I was going to a girl’s public bathroom.

All the stalls were made of a beautiful pine panelling. It smelled of the musty damp mountain air. It was rustic in appearance. The only difference between it and the boy’s washrooms, is that there is no urinal, and there is an extra sink and mirror. I felt funny knowing that I was really a boy, as I sat and peed like a girl, in a girl’s bathroom. I also liked knowing that this circumstance is forced on me, for at least the next week. I looked around at the stall walls, wondering if I could ever feel normal in this place. As I left the washroom building, Sharon took a picture of me coming out of the door. I knew that the big word ‘WOMEN’ would be seen over my head when the photo was developed. I grinned, knowing that she was going to do these things to me all this week.

Back at the campsite, she asked me how I had liked going to a girl’s bathroom. All I could say that was I had really needed to pee badly. She giggled and went back to her book.

 

9:45 pm

The family to our left just came back. There is a man, the father maybe, the mother and what looks like a younger woman and her husband, and two teenage boys who are kind of loud. They are constantly looking over this way, with a lot of interest.

Sunday August 11 1991

 

11:30 am

We went into South Colton to have breakfast. Boy was I scared out of my wits, as I walked into Smiley’s Country Kitchen. Sharon insisted that since it was Sunday that we should both wear skirts. I have on a white blouse, that is thin enough so that my bra straps are clearly visible through it and a white pleated skirt. I also have a wide red plastic belt around my waist.

The restaurant was full, and it was obvious that it was mostly local people. The main room had two large round tables, where people got up and left, and others took their places. We sat in a kind of alcove at the front, in the front window. This was my first time in a public room, dressed as Brenda. I hurried to the table, in the hopes that no one would notice me or my sister.

Since most of the patrons were men, and we looked like we were pretty girls, that was not too likely to happen. Many smiles were directed to us as we sat down. True, I was as skittish as a kitten, but I was thankful for that crotch piece that Sharon had made for me. I found that just doing something that any normal girl does, was giving me one glorious erection in my pretty silk panties.

That is always the way it had been with me. It is not that I love being a boy that is wearing girl’s clothes that excites me so much. That is not it at all. What excites me is that I am a boy, but I am being allowed to do something that a normal girl does. It is the experiencing of being and doing normal feminine things, that so turns me on. I hoped my panties would not split at the crotch, as I found that being a girl in a public place was a very very terribly exciting experience for me. Sharon kept smiling at me, because she knew the discomfort, and yet, the secret bliss that I was feeling at the moment.

Our breakfasts took a long time in coming. When they finally came, they were so plentiful that I knew that with my waist nipped in the way that it was, that I would never be able to eat it all. Sharon did not have that problem and attacked my plate as well as hers. While we ate, the owner of the diner came out of the kitchen and started to read a poem that a patron had written, as he had stopped for breakfast at this diner the morning before. He apparently was just passing through and had written down his impressions of the place. They were making plans to make a nice frame for it. From the way they talked, the man had only been there for twenty minutes, but every one could remember where he sat and what he had looked like. I knew that they would be able to describe the two girls that had come in, just as accurately to, tomorrow morning. I blushed as I thought of the image that I presented to them.

Sharon told me to go to the bathroom before we got back in the car. Blushing profusely, I rose and walked over towards the sign that said "Washrooms." I looked for the door with the girl on it, and went inside. It was very rustic, very small, and not really clean either. I did have to pee really badly.

I went into the stall and raised my skirt, lowered my panties and did what I had come in to do. On the way out, I checked the mirror for my make-up, such as it was early on a Sunday morning. I glanced up as I came out of the room. Almost all of the guys were watching me. They knew I had gone into a girl’s bathroom to do a girl’s thing in there. Feeling like everyone was looking at me, I lowered my eyes demurely to the floor, and made my way back to the table. Sharon wanted us to stay for a second cup of coffee.

After a few more minutes, a young family came in. The woman was a pretty blond wearing blue jeans and a casual loose fitting white blouse. She had a pretty baby in her arms. Her husband was kind of tall and thin, with a thick black shadow, showing where his vbeard would be if he did not shave soon, and a mass of curly black hair. He wore blue jeans and a red plaid lumberjack jacket. He had knotted muscles in the backs of his big hands.

I watched the woman as she setled her baby in a high chair beside her, and she greeted all of her friends around the table. She seemed to really like her husband, from the way she was treating him. She often reached over to touch his forarm and smile at him. She was very atttentive to her baby’s needs also.

I found that I was envying her for her life style. With a start, I realized that if I was her, that I would do as she did. She did his laundry and took care of his baby, cooked his meals and then she probably crawled into bed every night, and gave him a reason to have come home.

I looked at him, and found myself wondering what he looked like, lying naked in a bed. He was probably all covered in black hair. I shuddered with the shame of my thoughts. I was actually envying this woman, and knowing that if I could trade places with her, that I would have. I knew that I would have also given him a reason to be glad that he had come home to lie in my bed at night.

I had to somehow make myself stop thinking such queer thoughts, I knew, or I would really end up in trouble.

When it was time to leave, Sharon took out some money to pay the bill, and left it with the bill on the table. The bill was for a few dollars, and she had taken out a twenty. Then she smiled at me and told me to go and pay the bill. I knew that I had to, as she got up and left the restaruant.

I picked the money up and walked over to where the cash register was. I was acutely aware of every male eye on my naked legs below my skirt, and on my little tits. One guy even made some funny joke, but, I was too far away to hear what he said. The older lady who seemed to own the place heard him though.

"Jack Morgan, you just keep your tongue to yourself. You don’t pay any attention to the likes of him, Honey. He just gets a bit carried away soemtimes. You see, the way he is, he don’t got to see pretty girls very much."

I could tell from the reaction to her words that she had made some kind of joke about Jack Morgan, but I did not understand what it was. His friends laughed at his rebuff though.

When we got back to the campsite, Harold and his wife had left already. The family next door were packing up as well. They wanted to know if we would like some kindling wood and some paper for starting our fires. It turned out that they also had quite a bit of split wood that they did not want to take back with them. Sharon said that we would need it, and she wanted to go over and get it. The older man insisted that his sons could bring it over to us. He said there was no reason for us to dirty our pretty hands, and that they boys would be very willing to do this for us.

This was a strange feeling to experience for me, standing idly by, watching someone do something for me. Sharon kept grinning at me as the younger of the two boys made a point of saying something to me everytime he brought another armload of wood over. He had a shiny earring in his left earlobe.

Now, we are all alone in this section of the campsite. The only person we see is the security man as he makes his hourly rounds, to make sure that no one is causing us any trouble. I am also walking more than I have ever walked in my life. Sharon keeps dragging me off to the various loops, to see what the camps and the big RV’s campers look like. She teases that she is really looking to see what the young campers look like.

She keeps teasing me that she is going to get me a boyfriend, whether I like it or not. I hate to admit it, but, something deep inside of me wishes that she really could. She says that if you want to attract a guy, you have to advertise your presence, and so, she walks through the loops a lot. Really, except for reading and writing, there is not much also to do here. We can swim, but the weather has not been warm enough for that yet. We can’t sun bathe as it is overcast today, and, every once in a while, we get a little sprinkling of rain. I find it’s fascinating under the pines, because, you do not get all the rain that is coming down. I guess the boughs, so high overhead catch the rain and it runs down the trunks of the trees, instead of falling on our heads.

Monday August 12 1991

 

11:30 pm

Today is the first half decent weather we have gotten since we set up our tents on Saturday. There were a lot of clouds, but, the sun keeps shining through, enough that the air has really warmed up during the day.

It got warm enough that, for the first time in my life, I actually went for a swim while wearing a girl’s swim suit, at a public beach. It was absolutely just a fantastic experience.

Sharon wore a bright day glow pink bikini, trimmed in delicate white lace. She is just such a knockout in it. If I was a guy, at last not the kind of guy I am at the present time, but like a regular boy, I’d be all over her. She is one very very foxy foxy young lady. Sharon tells me that I am a fox to, but I don’t really believe her. I think she is just trying to make me feel less conscious of her looks.

My swim suit is a one piece. It has to be a one piece, with the back high enouth to hide the waist nipper that I am laced into. The corset goes nearly half the way up my back. My suit is a beautifiul blue satin, a light sky blue color. The neck tie string ties up behind my neck, leaving the top half of my back and my shoulders bare. It also has a wee satin bow at the bottom of the V neck line.

It is the same suit Sharon used to wear two years ago. My breasts fill the smallish cups very nicely. With the flat cinched in waist that I have, my hips look much wider than they really are. Also accentuating my hips, is a little six inch frill, sort of like a very short skirt, around my lower part of my suit.

Just a few minutes before I went down onto the beach, I had passed myself in the full length mirror in the ladies change room. At the first glance, I hadn’t even recognized my own refelction. For a moment, I actually wondered who that foxy chick was, when I first saw my reflection. I just hope that everyone else thinks the same thing about me, as what I thought for that brief moment.

Though it was the first really warm day since the weekend, we pretty well had the beach to ourselves. Because of the rainy weather, the whole campsite is nearly empty. That suits us (me) just fine. I find it nerve wracking enough to be walking on a public beach in a girl’s bathing suit, without having a lot of people looking at me while I am doing it to. We spent about two hours at the beach, then headed back to our campsite. Sharon is absoltutely amazed that I am still not used to being a girl.

We returned to our campsite around four o’clock. The next site to ours, number 5, had became one of the occupied ones while we were at the beach. There is a large 4 wheel drive camper truck with a long canoe on the top, and the family. The father is in a wheelchair. His wife flits around taking care of everything.

There are also three boys, we noted. They look like the are about 17, 15 and 12 in ages. The two older boys just sat at the picnic table and stared at us, when they saw us coming back from the beach. It was a really quite a funny feeling for me. I’ve looked at girls in that manner before, and I know the kind of eerie mesmerizing effect that a pretty girl can have on a boy. It is so very strange to know that now, it is me as a girl, who is doing the mesmerizing. It is not the other way around this time. It makes me feel kind of powerful, in a way.

We walked and watched the boys. When we got back to the campsite, Sharon whispered at me, going on and on about how cute the boys were, as we busied ourselves doing our normal house keeping chores. We were trying to look busy, trying to make them think that we were doing something else.

We tried not to notice as the middle aged boy gets on his bike and pulls the youngest boy by a tow rope. The youngest one is on roller blades, and his brother really causes him to move very fast, much to his delight.

The oldest boy does not look like he really belongs to the family. They all have dark hair, while he has light blonde, almost reddish hair. He is pretty tall, about 5’ 8". He is on the thin side, not really thin, but rather, more lithe and sinewy. Sharon likes him, I can tell.

The next oldest boy is a bit shorter than the blond boy, maybe around 5’ 6" tall. Even at 5" 6" though, he is still a bit taller than Sharon. She is 5’ 4" ½" tall while I am an inch shorter than she is. Sharon kept teasing me till she finally made me admit to her that I did indeed, think that the two boys were cute. She was embarasing me terribly, and she knew it.

But that was all that I would say about what I thought about the boys. As it was, my face was burning and I blushed with very hot cheeks. I had never before in my life ever looked at a boy and thought of a boy as being cute. Now, I had. I could hardly believe that I had looked at those boys over there, and that I had actually thought of them as being cute guys.

I was so embarrassed about my feelings. I was also getting a little worried about myself. Maybe I really was a faggot afterall, and that I had just not known it about myself before. I hoped that that was not true.

Life just seemed so unfair. It would have been so much simpler if I had just had the same hormones flowing in my blood that my pretty sister had in hers. I’d love to have to live a real girl’s life. I really hated the thought of having to live a faggot’s life. I knew all the jokes about guys like that... Now I had to also say... guys... like me. I hated to admit this truth to myself.

As my mind dwelt on the thoughts of "guys like me...", I remembered the last guy like that, that I had heard about. It was in the highschool locker room.

As I remembered it, the whole scene replayed through my mind. About six guys were there toweling off after showering, following a gym class. Suddenly one piped up, saying, "Hey, did you hear that Rockdale High’s got a new wrestler on their team? They say that though he is the smallest guy on the team, that he can’t be beat, not by anyone. He’s won every match he’s ever been in."

"Oh yeah? How’s that possible?"

"Well, they say he’s a fairy, a real swishy type you know... But there is no one who can beat him. You see, he’s got a secret hold that he uses and no one knows how to counter it."

"Oh yeah? What’s it like?"

"Yeah... What he does is he puts a lip lock on the love muscle. And guess what? No one wants to resist his hold, or counter it. So he beats everyone that way."

Now, there seemed to be a very real possibility, that that kind of joke just might be made about me. I shivered in my abhorrence of such a thought. Yet, I had to admit reality to myself. The fact was that I was sitting here, wearing girl’s clothing. The fact was, that I had just admitted to my sister that I had actually thought that a another guy was a cute boy. I also had to admit that I had just thought about the possibility that it might be me who was the swish, in the locker room joke. Eith resolve, I tried to put these distrubing thoughts out of my mind.

Sharon grabbed my arm, shaking me out of my reverie, and told me it was time to go to the bath house for our showers. It was also time for a change of clothes. Meekly, I went with her. I hoped desparately that no one would find out that the brown haired girl in the shower stall, had a cock.

Sharon had already gotten a bag full of fresh clothing and towels, with shampoos and all the other stuff that we would need. As we walked the half mile to the bath house, she also told me that it was time for me to have to spend a bit of time shaving my legs again. She reminded me that I had to keep them silky smooth and hairless at all times, in order to avoid any kind of suspicion.

We arrived at the bath house, and we were pleased to find that no one else was there. I went into a stall and very very carefully shaved my legs, my arms, my under arms and my chest, all around my breasts and my face. I still had no hair on my chest, and had not yet started to shave yet, so I did not have that problem to deal with, but Sharon told me to do it anyway.

When I was done, Sharon helped me dry myself and then she helped me gather my hair back into one of her banana clips. It was a bright yellow. She checked my ears to make sure that there was no infection in the newly pierced lobes, and was pleased to report that I had no infections. She gave a fresh panties and a matching bra that were of white satin trimmed with delicate pink lace. These, I put on as quickly as was possible for me to do so. I did not want anyone coming in and seeing me half dressed, lest they discover that I was not a real girl.

As it was hot out, and we were camping, I did not have to wear a slip. The dress that Sharon gave me to wear was a dusty rose color. The dress was a very loose fit, that had a sash tie at the back. She tied it very loosely. I stepped into a pair of white low heeled sandals.

Sharon had put on a white shirt with bright red short shorts. She also wore a pair of white sandals. Our daily ablutions done, we headed back to our campsite. Because the weather had turned out so nice, we took the long way around. That also meant that we would have to pass by in front of the boys next door to our campsite, on our way home.

As we walked by, we noticed that they had hung a sign out on a tree, advertising that the family name was Nicholson. Mrs. Nicholson was overtly friendly and she smiled warmly as we neared their site. She asked us if we were staying long. We stopped to chat for a while and she warned us that they boys had been watching us very closely. She told us that we should expect them to come and visit us.

Just as she was telling us that, the two older boys were just returning. They bought up the opportunity to get to know us by quickly engaging us in a light conversation about the town of Canton. We were vaguely familiar with the town, as we had passed through it on our way to South Colton. From what I remembered, it was a very pretty little "Anywhere, USA" kind of town.

They invited us over to play cards with them later that night, and Sharon agreed for us. I knew from the look in her eye that it would be better for me, not to disagree with her. I knew that she wanted to get to know that older boy. I was nervous and scared, on pins and needles for the next three hours. I knew that it would do no good to try and talk Sharon out of it. Finally the time arrived. It was finally the time to go over to the campsite next door to us.

Mr. and Mrs. Nicholson had left to go and do some grocery shopping. They had takein the youngest son with them. So there was only the two older boys and us. Boy was I ever scared. I had never been in this situation before and I realy did not know how to act. We sat at the picnic table, boy beside girl, facing each other.

We had been right in our guess about Danny, the oldest boy. He was not a family member. The oldest son, Chris was 16. Chris was sitting beside me, a wee bit too close for my comfort. We started to play gin rummy, and soon we found, including me, that we were laughing and joking at almost every little thing that happened or was said. It was stupid and insane.

I had to admit to myself that it really really was very different being treated like a girl, by guys. They do not treat girls like they treat other guys at all. It’s like everything they do is geared to try to please the girl, and try to win her approval of them.

Guys just wanted to show each other how good they were at things. I’d never been treated so favorably before. Usually I was sort of scorned for being so small, and for being some what girlish. I’d never ever been really accepted without a hard trial of proving myself first. Now, all I had to do was to titter like a girl, and I was accepted. I was not only accepted, but Chris was trying very hard to make me like him. I loved it to.

For example, I found that Chris was trying to be very sensitive to just about anything that would cause me to not like him. And, he was going out of his way to make sure that I was happy. If I wanted a drink, he’d jump up to go and get it. I mentioned that I was hungry, and Chris ran to the camper to get us Cokes and chips. I liked having this kind of influence over a guy, and, I flirted just a little to see what girls could do to guys. I was quite pleased and surprised that Chris seemed to be so reactive to just about everything that I did.

I actually found that I laughed a lot, as they were trying hard to get us girls in a good mood. We really did have a lot of fun. We even agreed to meet the boys the next morning to go for a swim.

Once I had gotten into my pajamas, and was settling into my sleeping bag, Sharon began teasing me about all the ways that she had noted that I was teasing and flirting with Chris. She told me that I was acting a just exactly like a boy crazed thirteen year old teeny bopper. I did not think so, and I argued with her.

I had not realized that I was being such a flirt, but, as she reminded me of the things that I had done and that I had said, I did realize that Sharon had been right. I had been acting like a teeny bopper. It must have been because of my nervousness about being a girl with a boy, we decided. I promised her that I would try to cool it from now on. I did admit to her that I did have a lot of fun being treated like a girl. I also admitted to my sister that I had more fun being treated as a girl, than I could ever remember having had as a boy.

 

Tuesday August 13 1991

 

1:00 pm

I have just finished washing the dishes after our light lunch of salad and grilled hamburgers, which I had cooked on the open camp fire. I had thrown some pine cones into the fire and they seemed to make a nice flavor to the meat. I’m alone doing the clean up, as Sharon has gone off with Danny for a walk around loops E and F. Danny thinks that he has some hometown friends staying there, and wanted Sharon to meet them.

The Nicholsons had left early this morning again, leaving the dad to sit in his wheel chair alone. He reads a lot. He and I talked a bit as I fussed about our campsite. I had to strain my voice a bit as we talked back and forth across the open space between our sites. He told me that he was a teacher in a local high school. He seems to like being alone a lot. He also seems to not be upset about his having to spend his time in a wheelchair. His obsession is hockey, and he told me that both of his sons, and Danny attend hockey schools. He promised that if I wanted to come to a game, all I had to do was to just let him know, and he would get us free tickets. I said I would tell Sharon, and maybe we would take him up on his offer sometime.

I spent the next hour just laying around in the lounger, soaking up the rays, as they say. It feels so funny knowing that every person who walks by our campsite is convinced that I am a pretty young girl. I love it.

I also took the time to paint my toenails a bright rose pink. That of course meant that I would also redo the nails on my fingers as well, to pass the time. I loved knowing that everyone could see me doing such typically feminine things. I especially loved knowing that they also thought that it was perfectly normal for me to be doing things like that.

We did actually go swimming with the boys that morning, around 10:30. This was an entirely new experience for me. I love the way my girl’s swim suit feels on my body. It is tight and pulls and exerts pressures where a boy’s suit doesn’t. I love the feeling of it, especially when I dive. I just love the way the neck ties seem to strain against my skin as I move in the water. I can feel the water pull at my suit, all over where my suit touches my skin.

I love the feel of it.

Also, for the very first time in my life, I have held a boy’s hand today, in the way that girls hold boy’s hands. Chris, wanting to show off about how brave he was, to get wet in the cool water, grabbed my hand and half dragged me into the water with him, till we were nearly up to our necks.

I tried desparately not to get my hair wet, but he dunked me. He dunked me, just enough to get my hair wet, then, he pulled me up to the surface again. As he pulled me up to my feet, he also pulled me against his body. I became acutely aware that I was there, standing beside a nearly naked boy, who wanted to keep holding me as close to him as he could. I was also quite surprised at how strong he is for such a sinewy looking boy.

Chris, I very quickly realized, was certainly a lot stronger than I am, even if I had wanted to act like a boy. I managed to extricate myself from his grip on me and swam out to the raft.

I will admit it, okay? When I was standing in front of him like that, and he was holding me in a sort of loose embrace, it really did turn me on. I found that I wondered what it would feel like to have him kiss me. I found that I liked it when I had inadvertently put my hands up and I had touched his flat hard muscled chest. I liked the feel of his hairy legs as they brushed against mine under the surface of the water.

It was only because I was so very ashamed of those feelings and thoughts that were ripping and tearing through my psyche that I had escaped to swim away from him, out to the raft. I desparately wished that I was a real girl so that I could behave like a real girl with him. Yet this desire caused me to be torn with guilt to, becasue, I knew that I was still a boy under all the prettiness.

None the less, Chris had followed me out to the raft, however. When we got there, it seemed like he was doing things just to try and prove to me how strong he was. For example, once we got to the raft, he was constantly picking me up and throwing me out into the water. Then he would grab my wrists and hoist me out of the water, back up onto the raft. Each time that he pulled me out of the water, he managed to pull me up against him, into his arms, so as to steady my balance, so that I would not fall or trip. Everytime he did that, I became very acutely aware of the feel of his hairy soft skin.

It did not take me too long to realize that he was being macho for me, trying to impress me with how masculine that he was. I let him know that I did not really like having him throw me around like that, and he stopped it immediately. I was finding out that it is a delightful thing, the way a small girl can control a boy who is so much bigger and stronger than she is. I loved it.

I let myself act in a bit of a pouty way, complaining about how hard the raft was to get comfortable on. Chris asked me if I wanted him to go to the beach and get me a towel to lay on. I wanted to see if he would, so I said I would like that, and smiled warmly at him. He dove into the water, swam to the beach, got my towel and brought it back to me. I could hardly believe that a guy would try so hard to please a girl. I could hardly believe that any guy would try so hard to be in my good graces that he would bend over backwards for me, the way Chris was doing. Okay, I admit it. Being a girl has got a lot of advantages to it, at least as far as boys go.

Anyway, that was how I spent the morning. Now, I am faced with having to ask to myself the big question, "Am I really a fairy?"

The facts are; I very definately prefer to wear girls clothes. I am certainly finding that I just love being able to put a guy through the hoops for me, like the way I had gotten Chris to swim all the way to the beach just to get me a towel. I had to admit that I had liked the feel of his skin touching mine. I also had to admit that I had really wanted Chris to kiss me. I had gotten a hard on, as I had stood in front of him, when he had first pulled me up after dunking me, and he had pulled me into his arms. I had loved the way I felt when, for just a brief moment, I had been leaning against his chest. But, would I be able to really face myself, knowing that all those filthy names and those crude jokes would now also apply to me?

With a start, I realized that I had been only playing being a girl so far. If I was serious about experiencing all that girls get to experience, I would have to let Chris kiss me. I’d also have to do more than that. Sharon told me that she does not know one single girl at her school who does not regularly suck off her boyfriend. She says it is the only way for us girls to be able to keep the guys happy, and still guarantee that they don’t get themselves pregnant. She told me that she has done it, and that she really likes sucking a big hard cock. She told me that it was one way to really feed a guy’s ego. She said that they love to have a chick go down and suck them off.

I, I realized, might have to become a cocksucker. Would I really be able to do such a thing? Worse, I also realized, was that I must be a queer if I was even willing to think those thoughts. Thoughts like those are just not the thoughts of normal guys.

Of course, I was not exactly dressed in clothes that normal guys wear either, at the moment. I lowered my hand to my thigh and tugged downwards at my skirt hem. I giggled at my action, just as I was writing these words. I just knew that I loved being a girl, and if being a girl meant that I would have to get down on my knees in front of some dude some day, and suck his cock for him, then I was pretty sure that I would probably would do that, just so that I could act in one more way like real girls get to act act. I kind of hoped that it would never happen, but, I also hoped that it would to.

I readily admitted to myself that I wanted to do everything that a girl gets to do, just because I to wanted to be more and more a girl. I guess then, after all these things are considered, that I have answered my most troubling question. I am now willing to admit to myself, that I am a fairy.

So, that means that if Chris tries to kiss me, I will let him kiss me. And... I will also... kiss him back. I would act just like any other normal girl would act, and kiss a boy who strikes her fancy. A shudder went through me as I imagined myself standing in his embrace, with my arms stretched up around his neck, in a totally vulnerable and defenseless position, feeling his hard flat body pressing against mine. But of course, that would mean that Chris would have to like me enough to want to kiss me. I thought he did, but I was not certain.

 

11:30pm

Danny and Chris asked us to come over to have supper with them tonight. Sharon readily agreed, saying that she abhored cooking, and that she would do anything to get out of it if she could. Actually, it was me doing all of our cooking, but I did not feel to correct her.

We went to the bathroom to change from our casual attire into something that was a little bit dressier than what we’d been wearing most of the day. Sharon did insist that we wear dresses or skirts over to the Nicholson’s. Since I really do prefer to wear dresses or anyway, I did not disagree with her suggestion..

The outfit that I put on, was a light green, long sleeved silky blouse and a white pleated skirt. Though it is still quite warm, I did wear a slip under it. My only concession to the weather was that I did not wear any nylons. It was just too hot to get really dressed up.

Sharon wore a kind of slinky tight red dress with a high princess neck line and short sleeves. Her dress zippered up the back. She joking said that it would give Danny freer access to her body, if he wanted it. That gave me the frist hint of what she was thinking about for later on, but I tried not to pay any attention to it.

We did put on a light dusting of makeup, which included also spritz of perfume However, we decided to wear the same sandals that we’d been wearing all day, as they were very comfortable and cool.

The boys, it was very obvious, liked what we looked like. Their eyes seemed to light up when they saw us. It just felt so very very nice to me to be liked and appreciated. I had never been treated like this when I was a boy.

Mrs. Nicholson took over our attentions as soon as we got there, by asking us for some help in the kitchen. We agreed. It felt kind of strange having a woman treat me like I was her daughter, and I really liked it to. Sharon and I helped her to carry all the food out to the picnic table, and we washed the dishes and stuff when the meal was over. I loved doing what a normal girl is expected to do. What really made my day, was when she offered us aprons to protect us from the spills that might try to find their ways to our clothes. I wondered briefly, what Chris thought of me when he saw me coming out of the camper, wearing one of his mother’s aprons. I felt very strange having her tie it around my waist and, I liked wearing the apron. It just releases some strange kind of excitement in me to know I am acting like a girl is expected to act like. I loved it. I wished that it never had to end.

Mr. Nicholson kept making funny little remarks about the four of us and romance, telling us about some of the humorous happenings when he was a teenaged boy when he was trying to get his very first girlfriend. Actually, between him continuing to embarrass the boys the way he did, and his wife’s trying to get him to stop it, they kept us in stitches all through the meal.

It was a really delightful meal. She had seated us so as Sharon was on one side beside Danny, and I was sitting on the other side, with Chris. Because his little brother also sat on our side of the table, I had to sit quite close to Chris. His legs kept rubbing up against my thighs. I do not know if it was on purpose or not, but it seemed that he was sitting much closer than he really needed to sit.

Once, when he had gone to get me a fresh bottle of ketchup, his mother smiled at me and commented that she’d never seen him quite so smitten with a young lady. Her words and actions led me to believe that she liked me and approved of a match up between Chris and I. If only she knew what was really in my panties, I am sure that she would not think the same way. But, I enjoyed the charade while it lasted. It was a ruse but I loved being treated like I was her potential daughter-in-law. It was so pleasant for me to experience having a girl’s role in a family setting. Of course, my sister just sat there with a knowing secret smirk on her face all night.

Around 7 pm, Danny suggested that we walk over to see who was at the beach. We agreed. Chris and I walked a few steps behind Danny and Sharon. I was surprised to see Danny reach out and take Sharon’s hand, as though he’d been doing it all of her life. I was even more surprised that Sharon did not pull her hand back, but she moved slightly closer to Danny. When Chris saw that, he reached for my hand. If I wanted to be thought of as a real girl, I knew that I had to act like my sister had acted. I to moved to walk a little closer to my "boyfriend".

As my sister had done, I accepted his warm strong fingered hand, and moved a slight bit closer to him, to make our walking a little more compatible. Soon, Danny and Sharon were walking quite a few feet in front of us, so we could not hear their conversation anymore.

As we walked, Chris began telling me all about his aspirations to go to college on a hockey scholarship and how he eventually wanted to study law. I found it was much easier to keep asking him questions and keep him talking about himself than it was to let the conversation get around to me.

Ultimately, though, he wanted to know more about me. I told him my imaginary life that I had lived as a girl. I told him my secret fantasies, as though they had been fact. I related about how I wanted to grow up and become a famous dress designer. I told him I liked painting and writing poetry. I said I played the guitar, which I did do in reality. I told him I just loved drama and that I acted regularly in school plays. The acting part was certainly true at the moment.

He asked about my boyfriends, and I told him that my parents were kind of strict, so that even though I was fifteen, I had only had two boyfriends before.I also admitted that both of them were in the last six months. I told him that I was not going steady at present, however. He asked me why I’d broken up with them and I told him it was because they seemed to be mostly interested in my body, much more than they were in me. I told him that they’d constantly be all over me, trying to get into my pants, and that I did not really like that in a guy.

I was sort of hoping, as I told him all of this, that he would decide to not try and kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me but, I did not want to be a faggot either. I was torn on in the inside. If he kissed me, I just knew I would act just like any other girl, regardless of whether it meant that I was a faggot or not. And, even though I wanted to do that, still I did not want to wake up tomorrow, to look in the mirror, and know that I was looking at a faggot.

Soon we reached the beach. It was just starting to get dark. The smell of the pines and the quiet rippling of the Raquette river made a beautiful atmosphere. The north star could be seen, reflecting on the still water’s surface. No one else was there. I was alone with Chris, my boyfriend.

Sharon and Danny had already decided where they were going. They had perched on top of one of the picnic tables, to the far left, almost under the trees. I could see that Danny had his arms around her and that they were kissing. For a brief moment, I envied her because it was normal for her to have a boy kissing her like that. I could see that her arms were moving up to go around Danny’s neck. I wondered what it felt like to be so close to a boy. I wondered if I was going to find out.

Chris noticed them to, as he put his arm around my shoulders and directed me to another picnic table, not too far away from my sister and his friend. It was far enough away that we could not hear what they were talking about, when they did talk, so we had a certain measure of privacy. He took my hand hand helped me to step up onto the table’s seat. I was acutely self conscious as I turned and smoothed my skirt out under me, as I sat. Chris was still standing on the ground and just smiling as he watched me move.

"You are a very graceful girl, Brenda. I... I think you are beautiful."

I looked at him. In the twilight, I could see he meant every word he was saying. I did not know what to do. My mind raced quickly over every conversation that I had ever had with Sharon about her boyfriends, hoping for some clue as to how I should act.

"Thankyou, Chris. That is very flattering. I... uh ... I think you are kind of cute to, you know."

His face split in a big smile. "You do? O... shit, Man, that’s great, just great." He climbed up onto the table beside me, smiling all the while. He was smiling like the proverbial Cheshire Cat. He was smiling like he had me.

"I don’t want you to think that I’m just tryin’ to get into your pants, you know, like those other two guys you told me about, but I really think that you really are a foxy chick, you knowY I can’t help it. I just get really turned on by you. I,... I am just trying to be up front with you, so, I hope you don’t get mad at me if you think I’m coming on too strong or something, okay, Brenda?"

"Okay, Chris," I responded softly.

He sat there and stared at my face in the fading day light. I could almost feel his eyes as they slowly studied every facet of my face. I loved it.

"What are you doin’, Chris?"

"I just want to remember this night forever. I want to remember exactly how pretty you look. I want to remember every detail of your face."

"Now, that’s very flattering, but it makes me a little nervous."

It did make me nervous. I was afraid that he might see something that would alert him to the fact that I was not entirely all that I seemed to be.

Chris smiled, and put his arm around my shoulder, and gently pulled me to him. "Maybe this will relax you a little more...."

I looked up at him and could see his eyes closing as his lips descended to touch mine. I could smell the sweat on his body. I could feel the strength in his arm as he pulled me closer. I felt his hot breath from his nostrils on my left cheek as his lips came down, and ever so lightly and gently, touched mine.

This is what I had waited for. I’d longed to see if I would feel like a girl, or if I’d get sick to my stomach because a boy kissed me. This was the turning point for me. I knew that the very next few seconds would let me know if I was a dyed in the wool class A faggot, or if there was some normal boy left in me at all. I tensed in my anticipation of my first kiss from a boy.

I felt his lips gently tickle mine as they brushed softly across mine. He felt me tense, and pressed his lips a bit harder against my lips, then drew back to look at me, although not letting me go from his embrace.

I could see that he was worried that he had offended me. I did not know what else to do. His kiss had not been long enough for me to tell whether or not I hated being kissed by a boy. I could see that he was awaiting some sign from me that he had not ruined our time together.

I found that I wanted another kiss, to be sure. Not really sure about anything, I gently reached up with my right hand, touched his chin, and let my fingertips caress the corner of his lips, back to his jaw, then past his ear and on to the back of his neck, where it rested lightly. He moved back as he felt me moving my left arm, and gave me enough room to raise it. I let my hand run up his side, over his very tense chest, where I could feel his rock hard nipple in the palm of my hand, and up to the right side of his neck. This hand to, rested lightly on his neck. Still, he was not going to kiss me unless I invited it. He seemed to so desperately want to be accepted by this pretty girl.

I felt tender towards him. I felt so absolutely flattered that I could make a boy’s body react to me like his was. I remembered that the thought played in the back of my mind that this boy was hot for me. For a long moment, I held my hands on his neck, looking at his eyes. They were pretty and reflected the growing starlight. His strong arms about my shoulders made me feel dainty in his arms. This was a feeling that I cherished.

I knew then, that if it was possible for me to feel like this for a boy, while I was wearing girl’s clothes, that I could react just like a normal girl would. What excited me was that I was doing just exactly what millions of girls did all over the world, every night of the year. In fact, I was doing just exactly what my sister was doing, right now with her boyfriend. I was so turned on. It was not because I was dressed up as a girl and that I was kissing a boy. It was because I was actually getting to do what real girls get to do. I was a girl inside, and it did not matter how painful that bulge got in my panties. I felt like a girl, and I loved the feeling.

I raised my elbows a little more, which had the effect that I pulled Chris’s face towards mine. I closed my eyes as I felt his lips gently at first, touch mine. As he began to act more and more like a boy in heat, his lips pressed mine hard. His right arm went to my neck, capturing me in a neck hold so that I could not get away from him. That was okay with me. I did not want to get away from him. I liked where I was.

His left hand moved gently from my shoulder, down the silky sleeve of my right arm, then back up to make it’s way down my back. I knew that he was petting me, and I nearlly purred. I felt his fingers tracing the outlines of my bra straps. Girls felt things like this every day, and I was just one more girl tonight.

He let his hand move in small circles, on my shoulders as his lips pressed at mine. Then he moved them gently over the entire area under my nose. He kissed up the side of my nose to my eyelids, then back down the other side back to my lips again. I knew that I was being made love to. I was the lovee, not the lover, and I felt entirely natural and happy. His lips went in turn to each of my ears, where he nibbled gently at my earrings. He kissed down my neck and back to my lips. I was feeling so loved. Warmth spread a warm pink cloud through out my entire inner being.

His fingers found the top of my waist nipper. He explored it a bit, then asked me what it was, in a quiet whisper. I told him that I had been born with a slight abnormality in my lower back, and that I had to wear a corset all the time to support my back muscles. He told me that he thought he might never meet a girl who wore a corset, and, he liked it. He said it was sexy.

He continued kissing me. Now, I felt the tip of his tongue on my lips. I knew that a real girl would welcome this intrusion into her body. I also knew that I also wanted to have this part of this boy inside of my body, just like any real girl would. I opened my teeth slightly, hoping that he would get the message that he was welcome inside of me. I wanted him to shove his tongue into my mouth. He got the invitation message.

First, he softly licked all over my lips, slowly and sensuously. Then I felt it start to penetrate my mouth. As it moved in, I opened my mouth to receive him. I could feel the hot moist thing sliding over my lips. This was terribly exciting for me. I could not help but wonder if I would feel the same way if it was his cock he was trying to put into my mouth. I had the strange suspicion that I would welcome it just as much as I was welcoming my boyfriend’s tongue.

Having my arms up around his neck, as Chris kissed me, made me feel completely vulnerable. If he grabbed at my breasts or my crotch, I’d be completely helpless to defend myself or to protect myself. This too was a feeling that all girls experienced, and, I loved it.

I felt his exploring left hand leave the small of my back and move up to gently caress my right breast. I was not concerned. I knew that they would feel like real breasts to him, and I knew that they could not move about or come off without that special dissolvent that Sharon had deliberately left at home.

Chris manoeuvred me so that I found that I was laying on my back. He had his right arm under my neck, and his lips again possessing mine. I hungrily sucked on his tongue. I wanted him to kiss me. He was pinning me to the table with is weight, which was half on top of me. My left arm was around his neck, hugging him to me. My right hand was gently rubbing his taut chest and his shoulder. I marvelled at how hard his muscles and his little nipples had gotten. I could feel his fingers as his hands roamed over my right breast, and I longed for real breasts.

His left hand went down and began to gently rub the skirt on my right thigh. I was so caught up in the excitement of the moment that I did realize it right away, but he was slowly working my skirt up. I felt his hand move to my flat belly, then back to my thigh. He stretched, and I felt his hand go to my right knee then to my left one.

With a start, I realized that my legs were slightly opened. It was like an invitation to this young stud, I knew. In my mind, there could not be a more girlish experience, than for a girl to have a boy feeling her up with his hand up under her skirt.

The problem was, I was not sure if my deception would continue, if he managed to get his fingers up to the crotch of my panties. When I felt his hand half way up my thigh, I clamped my knees together. Sharon had told me that that usually worked. I could feel his hot fingers on my naked hairless thigh, as I squeezed tight enough so that his hand could not move any further upwards. Chris stared at me, almost not believing that I would stop him, when he was so close to scoring with me. For a moment as I looked up into his frustrated eyes, I was scared. I knew that if he decided to, he could do whatever he wanted to with me. He was far too strong for me to ever try to resist him. I knew then, that girls felt like this most of the time to.

"What’s wrong, Brenda?"

"Nothing’s wrong, Chris. I just don’t like for a guy to touch my private parts until I know him very very well. I’m not an easy lay, you know."

"I know that. It’s just that... well, I thought you were like your sister."

"What has Sharon got to do with anything between us?"

"Well... look at her."

He moved so that I was able to sit up. I looked over at where Sharon and Danny had been sitting. I was absolutely shocked at the vision that I saw. They were no longer sitting on the table. Danny was laying on the grass, on his back. He was stripped naked.

Sharon was kneeling between his wide open legs. I could see her head moving very slowly in an up and down motion. I knew that she was giving Danny a blow job. I could have screamed at her because she was putting me into this kind of tight situation. I knew darn well that Chris was going to expect the same thing and that he was going to be really ripped off if I did not come through for him.

I knew that he was strong enough, that he could certainly force me, and, I’d be unable to resist him. I also knew that if he did force me, that, being a boy in a dress, I could hardly look to the police or the park rangers for help. They’d laugh themselves silly. I’d never be able to convince them that I was not doing this on purpose. They’d figure that a faggot got whatever he deserved. Not only that. but if Chris got really worked up, it seemed likely that I might lose my controlling influence over him.

I was stunned, and did not resist when he pulled me back down onto the table. His hand was still tightly squeezed between my thighs and I let go of him when he pulled at it.

"Brenda?"

"Huh?"

"You have given me the worst case of lover’s nuts that I have ever had. you just got to do something for me. You just got to. I’m going nuts."

The desperation in his voice made me very wary. I realized too late that I had been playing with fire, and I was now about to get burned for it.

"Wha... what do you want me to do, Chris?"

"I want you to treat me the way your sister is treating Danny."

"But... I... I’ve never done that before. You... you want me to be.. to become a... a cock sucker."

"Yeah, so what? From what I’ve heard, chicks love sucking cocks. Why should you be any different from any other chick?"

"I... I don’t know. uh.... No reason I guess." The worse part was that he had sound reasoning for turning me into a faggot cock sucker.

He lay back on me the way he’d been before and started kissing me again. He shoved his tongue back into my mouth, and, because I had to keep up the pretext of being a girl, I knew that I had to act like a girl would act. So I sucked on it the way I had been before. I even put my right arm up around his shoulder again, like an excited girl might do with her boyfriend.

I felt kind of giddy. Soon, if he had his way, I knew, it would not be his tongue in my mouth, but it would that hard cock that he had in his swim trunks. I was terrified of that, mainly, because, I hated the thought that I was a faggot. And, Chris was going to turn me into a faggot, very soon.

I trembled with the humiliation that coursed through me, and yet, a strange perverse feeling was also coursing through my every fibre, telling me that I would like it. It told me that somehow, this was normal for me. All of the social conditioning of my previous life was warring with my most secret inner desires. Guilt flashed through me like lightening, yet still, I lay there and let him move his tongue inside of my mouth, and sucked on it as though I were really a girl in heat.

As my mind raced, looking for ways to try and escape from this dilemma that my sister had gotten me into, Chris’s left hand came up and took my right wrist. He lowered my right arm so that in a moment, he had my right hand pressing on the front of his nylon swimming trunks. He was rock hard, and moaning. I could feel the heat of his hard on, right through the material of his trunks.

Chris was hot for me. I had caused this to happen to him. Some kind of strange and perverse pride took over me, as I realized that he was acting this way because I was such a foxy lady and had made him this hot. He was flattering me by being so hard for me. He was showing me the power that my femininity had over him.

Not knowing what else I could do, I slowly let my fingers begin to move on it, feeling out the shape of his cock. I began to wrap them around the six inch long shaft. I was so ashamed of being a boy and doing this to a boy, yet, I knew that if Chris thought that I was a boy, that he would not be allowing me to do this to him. I felt strangely priveleged.

I started to move my arm up amd down, so that I was actually masturbating Chris, through his loose fitting nylon trunks. It was strange, but, I liked acting like I was a real girl, in this way. I felt that somehow, the girl’s clothes I was wearing, had given me freedom to do things like this. I had never experienced any thing like this before and I loved being the total girl in my role.

As soon as I began to touch him like that, he started to moan and writhe around. It made me feel powerful to make someone react to me like this. I also felt, in some strange way, as though I had been trusted by him. Afterall, this is what most men live and die for, and protect with everything they’ve got. Afterall, they do call it their pride and joy, do they not?

I had never understood that feeling, as I would have willingly traded mine for a vagina and a pretty pair of breasts, but, I was certainly not a normal boy, was I? And. Chris was just so willingly giving it to me, wanting me to do anything that I wanted to do with it.

I did not know what to do with it, or even what I wanted to do with it. I did know for the first time in my life, that I would want to do something with a guy’s hard cock though. That was a strange and enlightening idea to me.

After what seemed like a long time, I still did not know what to do next. I just liked lying there and being kissed by this boy. I liked the feel of his hat hard on in my fingers. I liked knowing that I was jacking off his cock for him. He turned his attention to my neck, and kissed me under my chin. I loved it and submissively raised my chin to let him do whatever he wanted to to me.

"I... I don’t know what to do, Chris. I never did anything like this before. Tell me what I should do."

He sat up and got off the table. "Here, you sit at the table, just like you were going to eat something." Then he started to giggle. "Hey, you really are going to eat something anyway, aren’t you?"

Not knowing what else to do, I smiled as demurely as I could. "I... uh...

Yes, I guess I am, aren’t I?"

I sat at the table in the normal way, remembering to tuck my skirt under me as I sat down. I heard him moving behind me, but could not see what he was doing. He went around to the other side of the table. He was stark naked. His cock bounced with his every step. I was fascinated by it and could hardly take my eyes off it. He was circumcised. It was big, about three inches in diameter, and, it looked like the most ugly thing that I had ever seen in my life. At least, it seemed big to me.

Yet, I was mesmerized by it. Even worse was that I found I was having a deep craving in me. I wanted desperately, to feel it inside of my mouth. I wanted to feel it. I wanted to taste it. I wanted to make it fill me with cream.

I blushed in the dark night, because of the shame I was feeling. These were very perverse longings I was discovering in myself. Yet, they were there. Still, I had a hope that somehow, that something might happen to get me out of this situation.

He climbed up on the table, towering over me. This made me feel so small and exposed, and vulnerable. I looked up. Chris smiled down at me, walked across the table towards me, and stepped on the seat I was seated on, with one foot on each side of me. He stood over me like that for a long moment. Then he sat down in front of me.

Chris looked around at the semi secluded area we were in. "Sure hope the ranger does not come around too soon."

When he said that, my heart just leapt into my mouth. Fear went through me. I was terrified. What would happen to me if the ranger did come and find me doing such a thing? Chris would probably just be commended for getting a girl to do this kind of thing for him, but what would happen to me?

I looked up at him, and I am certain that my uncertainty showed in my face. He hunched his back down and took my face, gently, into his two hands, turning it up towards him. He smiled in a reassuring fashion, then he kissed my lips, and he put his tongue between them.

I felt so strange. Not knowing what else to do, I put my elbows up onto his hairy knees, with my forearms resting on his thighs. When I did that. the back of my right hand accidentally brushed his cock. I did not move my hand away. Instead, almost as though my hand had had a life of its own, it turned, and, I could feel this boy’s cock in my palm, for the very first time in my life. For the first time aside from my own, that is, but I am not really a boy anyway so that does not count. It was so very hard, yet the surface was satiny smooth. I felt the veins in it, and felt the constant throbbing of it.

Chris moaned when he felt me touch him, and his cock jerked in my hand. He kissed me once again, then he lay back on the table. I sat there, and in the near dark, illuminated only by the stars and a rising half moon I looked at my right hand as it held it’s first cock. I could just barely make out the pink tipped nails.

I gently closed my fingers around it, and placed my thumb on that secret most sensual part, right under the head of the shaft. Chris jerked on the table as he felt me touch him there. Loud moans escaped his lips. I could not believe that I was really having the guts to do this. I was at last, being allowed to do what a real girl is allowed to do.

I slowly began to masturbate my boyfriend. With my left hand’s fingers, I gently lifted his rather hairy balls and felt the hardness of his excitement. I then caressed the insides of his thighs, with my left hand, and continued to jerk him off with my right hand, especially my thumb. I let my left hand run, palm down, over his thighs and up onto his flat well muscled belly. This is what girls do, and, I relished the freedom that I had so that I could do it to. I loved the feel of his soft curly hair on my palm, and his soft satiny smooth skin.

Chris was nearly rolling around on the table under my hands. I did not know what to do next. Fortunately, he told me what he wanted me to do next, though.

"Awww... that is fantastic, Brenda. Put your mouth on it, Babe and suck it now. Put your mouth on it and suck my big wad right out o’ me....Awww... Fuck you are so fucking good... Brenda, Sweet Baby... Suck my cock now...

Awww..."

I steadied his cock with my right hand, and put my left hand on it as well, holding it in place with just my fingertips. I lowered my head, hardly daring to believe that I was actually going to do this. I really did not know if I even had the guts to suck his cock for him. It would take guts, I knew, because, this was against everything that my life had ever taught me was right and normal for a young guy to do. I had tried most of my life to convince people that I was a normal boy, and now... this.

Not knowing whether I really could or not I thought that just maybe I’d find out, if I just kissed it a little. I lowered my head, placing my lips over the little pee hole, and ever gently, ever so lightly, touched my lips to the smooth hard head of his cock. It did not seem so bad afterall, so I moved my lips a bit, moving my lips all over the cock head.

I was kissing a hard on, and, I found it pleased me, strangely to know that I could find this kind of courage deep within myself. It seemed to me that if I could kiss Chris’ cock, and also find that I even liked kissing his cock, that I’d be able to suck his cock, afterall.

I opened my lips wider and put my head down again. The head was too dry and it would not go into my mouth. Extreme disappointment coursed through me. I could not believe that I could humiliate myself to such a degree, only to find out that I was not going to become a real cocksucker afterall. I was actually sad at the thought.

I wanted to do what a girl does so badly that I almost ached inside. And girls sucked cocks, so that is what I wanted to do. I wanted to feel this cock slide past my lips and into my mouth. I wanted for it to fill my mouth. I wanted to make him ejaculate his cum into my mouth, so that I could feel his hot cream, just like a real girl gets to do. Wanting the reward that girls get from their guys, I was disheartened at this turn of events. I could not believe that I could come so far, and end up being so dissappointed. I felt like crying.

The thought occurred to me, that since it was so dry, that just maybe, if I licked it that there might just be enough lubrication to allow it to slide into of me. I stuck my tongue out, and realized I had put my tongue right on his pee hole. I was about to pull it back, when I laughed at myself, reminding myself that I was going to suck him so that his cream was going to cum out of that hole and fill my mouth anyway, so I might just as well go ahead and lick it. Afterall I had been lovingly kissing it only moments before, right?

I moved my tongue, covering the head of his cock with my spittle till it was completely wet. Then, I started to lick down on the sides of the shaft, as though it was some kind of lollipop or something. He of course was writhing about, but I had a lot more interest in what I was doing, then in how he was reacting to it. True, I wanted to give him pleasure, but even moreso, I wanted to feel what it was like to do what a girl does in real life.

When I got to the bottom of his hard shaft, I just found myself unable to resist the desire to take his bag into my mouth and suck it for him. This, I learned, was a mistake. All I got for my trouble was a bunch of hair stuck between my teeth. I had to remove it before doing anything else. It was humiliating, yet, strangely exciting to me, to know I’d sat there, wearing girl’s clothes, plucking a man’s cock hairs out of my teeth. Strangely, it made me feel free.

When his shaft was soaking wet from the top to the bottom, I again kissed it all over. I felt like I was somehow honoring it for belonging to a real boy, and not to someone like me. I kissed my way back to its crown.

This was it. The moment of truth had arrived. I was about to become what I had spent my whole entire life in the fear of being branded as. The next time one of my school chums called me a COCK SUCKER, I would know that it was a true name. Somehow, the word glared in bright large letters in my mind. Yet, though I knew the humiliatiion and ostricization of it, I longed to feel his cock inside of me.

I opened my mouth as far as I could, and again lowered my head over his cock. I felt the head on my lips as it very slowly slid into my mouth as I lowered my head. I felt it then as the head popped past my lips. I was giddy with my new excitement. I could hardly believing that I had actually had the courage to be able to do this. I locked my lips around the head, and I licked the head of his cock.

I closed my lips tightly and moved my head down as far as I could go, feeling the shaft slide over my sensitive lips. I lowered my head till I could feel the cock head at the back of my throat. It almost made me want to gag. I was surprised at how little of the cock would actually fit inside of my mouth. My mouth was fuller than I could ever remember it being before. It seemed that not much more than the head and an inch or so of the shaft was inside of me. But, I had the realization that I actually did have a cock in my mouth. I loved it.

I stopped and I took a brief moment to think about it. I wanted to be able to know that I would remember every detail of what was happening. I wanted to be able to remember every perverse little detail. I smelled his sweat, in the pine scented air. I heard the water lapping on the beach. I heard the faint sighs and moans from the orgasm that my sister was giving to Danny, mingled with the songs of the night birds.

I felt every stitch of female clothes I was wearing, caressing me, reminding me that this was a woman thing that I was doing. If Chris knew that I had a cock like his in my panties, he would never being lying there, allowing me to suck him off the way he was. He’d probably be pounding the shit out of me.

I savored the moment, blissfully. I was, almost, every inch a girl. I could even feel the lace trim of my panties on my upper legs, because I was so alert to every sensation at the moment. I could feel the soft caress of the satin on my bum as I moved slightly to get more comfortable. I heard the slight rustle of my slip under my skirt, as the soft lingerie moved delightfully across my hairless girlified legs.

I felt the tight constriction at my crotch, and yet somehow, that to seemed to be a right thing. I felt in some perverse way, that since I was being allowed to be so much of a girl, when I was not entitled to by nature to do that which I was doing now, that I should pay some kind of a price for the privilege of doing it. That tight constriction at my crotch was the price I was paying, for being allowed to be where I was at the moment. In some strange way, it felt right.

Still, even though I had Chris’s cock in my mouth, I knew that I was not yet a complete cock sucker. I still had not sucked his cock. I now wanted to be able to look in the mirror tomorrow morning, and know that I was looking at a cock sucker’s mouth, when I applied my lip stick. I locked my lips, made a vacuum with my mouth, and raised my head slowly. Now, I told myself, I had become a class ‘A’ faggot cock sucker. This is what fairies and girls do, and I was now a fairy and a girl, and I loved it. I am a girl, and I’d give anything to be able to spend my life relating to real boys in this way.

I lowered my head again, and raised it slowly, expecting at any moment to have him start cumming in my mouth. I wanted to taste his cum. I wanted to eat it, to swallow it, I wanted to get the same reward in my belly, that my sister, a real girl, was getting in hers right now, at the same moment. If she could do it, I could do it. I wanted to be just like her in every respect, including being a boy’s cock sucker.

I lowered my head again and sucked very very hard. Over and over again, I sucked till my jaws got very sore and my neck and shoulder muscles began to ache. I was fearful that somehow, I was not sucking him right. I just could not understand why he wasn’t cumming, and filling my mouth with his cum.

My own cock ached from its painful confinement. I did not want to cum though. Girls do not cum with cocks. I just wanted to continue feeling my skirt and slip as the slight night breezes tugged at it. I moved my knees open and closed, so I could feel more of the girl’s clothes I was wearing. I liked the feel my elastic bra straps digging into my shoulders. I loved the feel of the soft silky long sleeves of my blouse as it was caressing my arms, as I moved my head over my boyfriend’s cock.

This was a real girl thing I was doing and I relished the feel of the girl’s clothes I was wearing while I was doing it. I wanted him to cum and fill my mouth with his boy’s stuff. I had sacrificed a lot for this moment, and I felt like I deserved his cum. I wanted his cum to fill my mouth just like Danny’s was filling my sister’s mouth.

At last, Chris tensed, jerking upwards, and started to spurt himself into my mouth. I was at last, getting my face fucked. I felt his cock twitching in the confines of my mouth, and ran my tongue all over the underside, of the cock that was cumming into my girl’s mouth, to try and give him the wildest orgasm that he’d ever had. As far as his cock was concerned, it was a girl’s mouth that he was fucking and filling, and I felt just fine about that. I was being a girl for him. It was more than fine for me, it was a fantasy come true. I ran my fingers up and down his shaft, trying to coax everything out of him that he had to give to me. I knew now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that if I was wearing girl’s clothes, that I liked sucking boy’s cocks.

He came so much, that his cum started to squirt out of the corners of my lips. It was hot. It was thick and creamy. He tasted a little bit salty. I tired hard to swallow all of his cum, but there was so much of it, that a lot squirted out onto his belly. I hoped that he would not be mad at me for that.

It was a wonder to me, to be so completely identified with doing such an intimate girl’s thing. I loved the feeling og utter girlishness that was sweeping over me, and yielded my mouth up to him, to serve him as his cunt. I loved the utter effemination that I was feeling. This, to me, was what I wanted to do all the time. I hoped that he’d let me suck his cock again and again before we had to leave the camp sites.

Chris collapsed back onto the table that he was lying on. Though he had cum and I had swallowed as much of his cum as I was able to, I still had his erection in my mouth, and my finger tips were still exploring what a real boy’s balls felt like. I felt him starting to go soft inside of my mouth. I gave him one final suck and raised my head. I looked at the cock that I had just sucked. He had cream all over it. I leaned down and kissed his cock again, and with my tongue, I cleaned his cock for him.

When he had recuperated, and he had gotten dressed, we started to walk me back home, because when I had finally drained him as dry as I could, and he had gotten dressed again, we found that we were left all alone. Danny and Sharon had already left. As he walked me home, we stopped many many times, every few feet in fact, and I’d put my arms up around his neck, and he’d wrap his arms around my waist and back, sqeezing me tightly to him, and he’d put his tongue into my mouth and kiss me deeply.

Just before we left the beach area, I noticed that as he pulled me to him, that I could feel another hard on in his trunks. I decided to tease him with a line I had heard from Mae West, in a movie one time.

"Hey, Mister, is that a pipe in your pocket or are you just glad to see me."

"Brenda, I got to be honest with you. I have a hard on every time I am around you. There is just something so damned sexy about you, and I don’t know what it is. You just make me so hot all the time."

"Oh?" I was, naturally pleased. "You think that you can cum again?"

"Yeah... Why? You want to suck me off again?"

I could tell by the look on his face that I just blew him away, when I smiled, kissed him, and told him that I’d love to suck him off again. By this time, we were at the boat house. He took my hand, and led me up under the trees, and started to kiss me again.

"Did you mean it, when you said you’d ‘LOVE’ to suck my cock again?"

I reached out and grasped the front of his trunks again, and gently began to jack him off. I responded by answering, "What is the point of being a girl, if you can’t enjoy what makes boys different from girls, eh?"

I put both of my hands on his chest and began to unbutton his shirt. When it was open, I put my hands on his hard nipples and gently massaged them.

"I like your chest."

"I don’t have any hair on it yet."

"I know, it is just like a girl’s almost." I wanted to see his reaction.

"Well, I don’t have the boobs you do, but, I guess with no hair on it, it looks kind of like a young girl’s, in a way."

I bunched up his chest flesh. "I bet this would be enough to fill an A cup.

Maybe we can try it some time, eh?"

He looked nervous, but, he did not back away from me. I lowered myself to my knees, untied his swimsuit, and pulled them down to his ankles. I stood up again, and began to kiss and bite at his chest. In my left hand, I gently cradled his cock, and was moving my hand back and forth, slowly.

"In fact, I bet you this thing would look marvelous in a pair of silky girl’s panties," I whispered to him.

His only reaction was that he moaned as though he were terribly excited. It seemed to me as though he got excited, more so, if that was possible, at the idea of wearing girl’s panties.

"Chris?"

"Ummm?"

"Let me do it to you?"

"Do what?"

"Let me put my panties on you. I’m just dying to see what you’d look like in a pair of girl’s sexy little silk panties."

"Okay, if you want to."

Wow, I was floored. Chris should have been screaming at me for making such a suggestion. In stead, he watched me, as though in a daze, as I raised my skirt and pulled down my panties. I took them off, and then knelt before him, and raised each foot to slide the lacy leg holes over his feet, then raised my panties up his legs. He was fit to burst, all over my face. I stood, placing my hands at the back of his neck, pressed myself to him, kissed him, and whispered to him.

"In days of old, knights used to wear clothes that the ladies gave to them, as a token of good luck and devotion. Would you wear my panties for me, if I gave them to you, Chris?"

I stood in front of him, rubbing his engorged cock through the delicate pink silk, with my belly. I just could not believe that this young hockey stud would let me put my panties on him.

"Oh.... I’ll do anything you want, Brenda, just don’t ever stop, what you are doing, okay?"

"Oh, I won’t stop. I want to make you cum for me again, my big strong stud in my little girl’s silky panties. You are so sexy in panties, did you know that, big stud Chris? ...Mmmm... Maybe I should have a nickname for you, huh? How about, if in secret, I call you Christine, or Christa? I like Christa better, don’t you? Maybe you’d even look pretty in a dress and some makeup on your face. You are kind of pretty, you know, Christa. Would you like that, big boy?"

He nearly fainted when he heard those word come from my mouth. His knees buckled. I told him to lay on the grass, all the while, I was grinding the silk of my panties into his cock. It was obvious that he loved wearing my panties and he loved the things I was saying to him. "My Chris may just be a fairy to", I thought to myself.

"So, Christa, you got to tell me how come such a big strong stud hockey player like you gets off so much, by wearing girl’s panties, eh?"

He was like putty in my hands. He explained, as I masturbated him, that his mothers’ clothes would not fit him because she was so short and kind of on the fat side.I asked him if he had ever stole his girlfriend’s panties to wear. Chris admitted to me that he had some times stolen his girl friend’s underwear in the past, but he had always felt so guilty about stealing them then wearing them under his school clothes, that he always destroyed them after a couple of days.

"You should not feel guilty about doing something that does not hurt any one else, Christa," I tried to console him.

I lowered the front of the panties he was wearing at the moment, and started to lovingly kiss his cock again. I asked him if he thought that he was a queer. He said he did not think he was. I asked if he had ever done to a boy what I was doing to him, as I lowered my mouth over his engorged organ and began sucking his cock again.

He said that he had not. I asked if he thought that he ever might suck a cock, and he said he did not know. I asked if he would like to have a boyfriend if the boy could make every one think that he was really a girl.

Chris responded that that thought sounded kind of sexy and exciting. I moved my head back up his flat belly so that I could kiss his nipples and I gently chewed on them.

Then I asked whether, if he really did knew any boys that could look like, act like, and talk like real girls, who would also be willing to love him, just like a girl would love him, if he would he treat her just like he would treat a real girl, including making love to her, which might mean sucking the cock that she’d have in her pretty silk panties, just like I was doing to him.

He said that that sounded really exciting to him. He said he’d like to meet such a boy as that. I again went down to his cock, and slowly, kissed and sucked it till I made him cum for me again. When he had cum and, he had actually gotten soft in my mouth, I lay beside him, running my hand over his chest.

I lay cuddled in Chris’s arms, with my head on his cehst, gently playing with his cock with my left hand, as he continued to kiss my face. I kissed him, and asked him if he had been lying to me about his willingness to go out with a boy who masqueraded himself as a girl. He swore to me that he had not, and, then a suspicious look come over his face.

"You’re not... one of them... are you, Brenda?"

"I thought you said you would like a boy like that?" I teased.

He lay back down again, and sighed. Then he raised up on his right elbow, kissed my lips again, and then as he looked into my eyes in the pale starlight, he softly whispered his thoughts to me.

"You know, Brenda, if you were really a boy like that, I wouldd love you. I think that I would even want to marry you. I guess you could tell by the way that I reacted when you talked about such things, that they really get me turned me on. I don’t think that I would like to live like as a girl, but every once in a while, I think about what it would feel like to wear dresses. I think about what it must feel like to act dainty and to be pretty, not that I think I could ever look like a pretty girl. Heh... do you want your panties back now?"

"Yeah, I will need them."

He giggled nervously as humped his hips up and he let me pull them down his legs. He watched me, as I stood up, stepped into the panties, and raised them back up my legs. I pulled them into place under my skirt, where they belonged. I smiled at my stud boy who had just been wearing my panties. As I was pulling my panties back on, Chris had redressed himself. He just stood and grinned at me.

I felt special because I knew that he had revealed a side of himself to me that no one had ever seen or even suspected about him before. Still, I was just too nervous and too scared to tell him that I really was the kind of boy that he said he would love to meet and even to marry. I still feared being rejected for being a fairy, even though he’s said he’d love me if I was like that.

"I don’t want to go back yet, do you, Brenda?"

"No, I like being here with you, Chris."

Chris lay back down on the grass and held up his arm for me to join him. I did just exactly that. I felt like there was a strange kind of magic around, as I lay back down beside my first boyfriend again. His strong arm encompasssed me. I knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that I was capable of feeling the kinds of feelings that girl’s feel towards real boys. I felt secretly delighted to know that I could feel like that.

We did not talk for a long time. I felt like purring. We lay and listened to the sounds of the nights birds and the water laping on the beach. Every once in a while we could faintly hear one of the jets from the Fort Drum military base. I lay with my head on his shoulder.

Chris would kiss the top of my head every once in a while. Then his hands started to trace out the outline of my bras straps on my back again. I opened my eyes and could see that he was starting to have a stirring movement in the front of his trunks again.

I smiled, absolutely pleased that I was able to have such an effect on him. I turned my head towards his chest and began to kiss him again. Soon I found his left nipple and began to kiss it, then to lick it, then to chew on it. It felt so very very different fromt the only other nipples I had ever had in my mouth, Sharon’s. It was so small, hard and on a flat well muscled chest chest. I loved what it felt like.

He moaned under me. I felt it reverberate through his chest more than I heard it. I smiled. I looked down and watched as I slid my left hand down and gently rubbed the front of his nylon trunks. The sound seemed loud in my ears, as I caressed the front of his trunks. I could scarcely believe that I was having the courage to act just exactly like any other girl. I felt free and excited. I did not have to have my own erection slaked to be happy. I was elated, just be being allowed to be a real girl for a short time in my life.

I moved my hand up and slowly I slid it down inside of his trunks. I wanted to feel his cock again, in my hand. I never wanted to forget how nice it felt to me. I gently began to masturbate him again.

This time, there was no urgency. This time I did not have to make him cum because of his lover’s nuts. This time, I could go slow and really enjoy every moment of making love to his cock.

After what semed like a short eternity of relishing the fact that as a girl I had the freedom to caress a boy in such an intimate fashion, I decided that the time had come for me to suck his cock again. I wanted to taste his cum again. I wanted to pleasure him in the way that girl’s pleasure the boys that they like. I certainly liked Chris well enough. If I lived in Canton, I knew that I would really want to be his steady girlfriend. I wanted to feel like a girl making love to her boyfreind, once again.

I began kissing down his belly till I got to his trunks. I raised my head a bit, and began kissing the front of his trunks, following the hot hard bulge that was under my lips, up and down the entire shaft. He was starting to moan and buck his hips around again. I was making him react to me like that. I was falttered that my girl self was so able to make a virile boy respond to her like that. I gently bit it through the trunks. Chris loved that.

I pushed the waist band of his trunks down to his knees, so that I could have free access to his engorged cock. For a long minute, I watched my hand play with it. I was seeing what any other girl would see in her most intimate moments with her guy, and it gave me a warm tingle inside to know that.

I gently rubbed my fingers all up and down the hot satiny smooth yet throbbingly hard shaft. I cupped the head of his cock in my palm. I reached down and grapsed his hairy balls, gently in my finger tips. These were his family jewels, and he was letting me have them to do what ever I wanted to do with them. In some strange way, I felt trusted and priveleged.

I moved down between his legs, and pulled his trunks all the way off him. He opened his legs wide and raised his knees for me. I moved up between his legs. I stared at the cock that I was going to suck again. It seemed so ugly, yet, I was fascinated with it. It wa so completely unlike mine. It was big and strong compared to my little wang. This was a cock to honor, I thought to myself.

And honor it, I was going to do. I was going to honor it by making love to it. I leaned forward and began planting my loving little kisses all over it’s swollen head, very slowly. Chris moaned and moved around under me.

I held his cock still with both of my hands, and kissed the shaft up one side and down the other side, and then repeated it, over and over again. I revelled in the lightness of freedom that was coursing through me. I was free to do what girls do to boys, and I was elated. I knew that I was all girl at the moment, and, I never wanted the moment to end. It seemed to me that I was totally sastisfied, just by acting like a girl, in a girl’s intimate situation. I was in love with being Brenda.

I lowered my head so that I could lok at his balls. I could not see much in the dim starlight. A small cloud had covered the quarter moon. I pressed my lips agains his hairy balls, and I was unable to resist my urge to once again, take his balls into my mouth. I could only take one at a time in, as his balls were pretty big.

When I got my fill of sucking and licking his balls, which I could tell was driving him nuts, no pun intended, I took a moment to pluck his pubic hair from my teeth. His cock hair really irritated me when it was stuck in between my teeth the way that it was.

Then I began at the shaft and put my tongue on it. I very slowly licked my way all the way up to the head of his cock. Then I repeated my action, on the left side of his cock, then on the right side. I felt like I was licking a very large lollipop. I could hardly wait for the taste of the sweet stuff to cum out for me.

I then licked all over the head of his cock, very slowly. I did not want to just suck his cock for him. I wanted to make love to it for him. I felt like I loved his cock, at the moment.

Then came the moment I had been teasing myself with, by deferring it as long as I could. But, now, I wanted to feel him inside of me. I opend my lips and lowered my head. I felt the soft skin slide across my lips as he enetered me.

I lowered my head till I felt his shaft moving on my lips. Once I had him inside of me as far as I could get him, without making myself gag, I moved my lips around and licked his shaft. I hoped it would take him a long time to cum.

I very slowly raised my head, feeling his cock on my tongue as I washed him with it. I relished the feel of his shaft moving on my lips. This time I was not going to lock my lips on him. I did not want to get a sore jaw again.

I sucked him in this manner for a very long time. I have no idea of how long it was, but I knew that it was a long time. One time, I even had to stop so that we could hide behind a tree, as the park ranger drove by. Once the ranger had gone by though, I had Chris lie on his back so that I could get on with making my love to his cock. I enjoyed having such control over a strong boy, and I wanted to make it last as long as I could. I loved doing what girls do to boys.

However, he was unable to hold off, and he began to fill my mouth with his cum in one big gob after another. I felt it jetting back against the roof of my mouth and splashing against my tongue. This was the reward that nature intended for girls to have, and, I relished receiving it as a girl.

I swallowed all that he had to give me, and tried to suck some more out of him at the same time. I kept sucking his cock till it had shrivelled up into a tiny worm in my mouth. I loved being a faggot cock sucker, I admitted to myself, as I removed him from my mouth.

I lay back and watched him as he put his trunks back on. No one had ever treated him the way I had treated him, and I could see his appreciation in his eyes, and hear it in his voice when he talked with me. We stay there and necked for a bit longer, then he walked me back to my tent. As we walked, he held me very close, which made the walking slow and awkward. But he was making me feel loved, like a girl, and I wanted the moment to go forever.

Sharon was already in her sleeping bag when I crawled into the tent, but she was not asleep. And she would not let me sleep until she had gotten me to tell her every little detail of what I had done and what we had talked about. She seemed to be the most interested in my feelings at the times that I had his cock in my mouth, or when he was kissing me. She insisted that I describe the feelings to her, as completely as I could.

When I had told her everything, she told me that that was just the way she felt, so now I knew that I was really more of a girl than a boy, because I felt the same feelings that a girl feels.

I then asked her why she had started sucking Danny off in the first place. I asked her if she knew what kind of pressure that her sucking Danny’s cock was going to put on me to do the same thing for Chris.

She smiled and said that she had wanted for me to have to suck Chris’s cock, and she had figured that the only way she could get me to do it, was to put me in a position where I figured that I had no choice but to do it.

She said that she had felt it was important for me to know whether or not I was as queer as she thought that I was. And, now that I knew I was just another fag queero, that I could get rid of a lot of the uncertainty and stupid guilt that I was carrying around, for betraying my stupid sense of boyhood.

I did not like being referred to as a queero, but, as they say, "If the high heeled shoe fits, wear it."

Then she wanted to know if I would ever admit to Chris that I was not all girl, but that I did have something a little extra than a regualr girl in my panties. I said that I didn’t know if I could ever be able to tell Chris about me. She just smiled knowingly, but Sharon did not press me on it.

She watched as I shimmied out of my skirt and blouse, and got out of my underwear, into the baby dolls that I was going to wear. I had taken off the little apparatus, and my engorged cock was bouncing around obscenely in the pale blue silk loose fitting panties.

Once I had laid down on the cot, inside of the sleeping bag, Sharon got out of her bed and knelt beside me.

"Brenda, you poor baby. You must feel a terrible pent up sexual tension.

"From what you tell me, you were on an erotic high for at least three hours. I can’t let my little sister stay like that, not if I really love her, can I?"

I lay back submissively as I felt her soft delicate hands search arund under my sleeping bag, till she found the front of my panties. When she touched me, I nearly orgasmed at that moment.

She opened the sleeping bag, pushed down my panties, and took me into her warm loving mouth. I moaned loudly as she made me ejaculate in a wild orgasm of pent up emotions. All I could picture was that I had made Chris feel what Sharon was making me feel at the moment.

I orgasmed, acutely aware that I was completely an effeminated person. Every one knew me as a girl. I loved what Sharon had forced me to live this week. I loved it and I loved her for knowing what was best for me. I had never felt so complete in my life. I yielded to her ministrations, and was thankful that even in this, I was in the more feminine submissive role.

 

Wednesday, August 14 1991

 

 

11:30 am

 

The Nicholsons have been gone most of the day. I got up very late, about half an hour ago, and they had already left. Sharon is all bustly with vim and vigor. She wants for us to go to Lake Placid today, and see the High Falls Gorge.

I do not really want to go. I want to stay alone so that I can think about the things that I did last night, and to think about my conversations with Chris. She says we can’t stay at home, because, we have dates with Chris and Danny, that she arranged for us, to go out for dinner, at 7:30 tonight. So, we had to get a hustle on if we are going to get back in time to keep our dates.

She drove us over to the bath house so we could shower and get fresh clothes. She insisted, that since no one else was there, that I should take the time to use Nair on my legs and arms. I’d never used a dipilatory before, and, I was quite pleased at how smooth and soft my skin felt after using it. I loved the feel of the silk panties on my legs, as I got dressed.

I dressed casually, in just a pair of long pink shorts, that are made of some soft billowy type of material, a light pale yellow short sleeved blouse and the same sandals that I wore yesterday. My hair is in the banana clip again. My pretty lingerie is peach, and made of delightfully soft silk with white lace trim. It is very pretty.

Today, I will have to carry a purse over my shoulder all day. She just grinned and told me to get used to it. I have found that I really do not have any more qualms in going about in public wearing girl’s clothes. The way I’ve been accepted by everyone has just convinced me that I am accepted and treated like a girl, and that every one just assumes that I am what I look like. I have had no quizzical second glances. I know for certain, that I sure do get treated a lot better when I am a girl, than I ever did when I was a boy.

One thing that I do especially like is the sense of freedom that I feel. As a guy, I was always aware of how I had to walk or hold my hands, or the way I talked, like as if I thought that someone was always watching me, to see if I was acting faggoty or something all the time.

Now, I just act the way I wish I could all the time. Besides, if a girl acts a little boyish sometimes, no one thinks twice about it. In fact, it is often treated as being cute. Most girls have been tomboys at some stage in their lives, it would seem anyway. So, I don’t have to be overly concerned about boyish behaviour either. But, do not let a boy act like a girl, or man it is over for him.

I love this new freedom I have. I can just be what I am and act the way that is most natural for me to act, and no one will persecute me for it. It’s great.

Thursday August 15 1991

 

12:30 am

I have not been able to get to sleep, so I thought I might as well get up, and write down what happened tonight. To say the least, it was exciting, unexpected, and, I think very life changing for me.

We got back from the High Falls Gorge around 6:00 pm. It was, to say the least, absolutely awesome. Sharon bought me some new earrings made of a light blue polished stone from the gift shop at the gorge. She insisted that I put them on right away to see how they look.

They are about two inches long, and dangle down. I like the way they are constantly knocking against my cheeks and neck, if I turn my head too fast. It’s nice to have this constant reminder of my complete effemination on top of every thing else.

We drove over to the shower house to change for our dinner dates because the lighting is better than in the washroom. Sharon insists that we do it up right, so, for the first time in my life, I am going to be completely dolled up, just like any other teenager would on her first date. She wants me to be especially pretty, to have a very fond memories of this night. She said it would sort of be like my prom night that I would never have, for me.

She tightened the waist cincher tighter than I had ever thought that it could be tightened. I did not believe she would be able tighten it, but because I have been wearing it constantly, I’ve been unable to eat like a boy, so I’ve actually lost weight. I wore the same panties and bra that I had on all day. This time, however, I wrapped a lacy garter belt around my waist, before putting my panties back on. Then once again I felt the ecstacy of wearing nylon stockings on my hairless legs.

I’ve worn nylons before of course, but I’d never worn them on completly denuded legs. This was such a real sensuous experience that I determined I was going to wear nylons at every chance that I got after that. I even found myself planning to wear them under my school pants, if I could manage to find a way to avoid detection.

Then, came my high heeled shoes. They were white with three inch high, thin spike heels. For a moment, I wondered if they could even support my weight, then giggled because I had seen really fat women wear heels like this before, and they did not break under that weight. At the backs of the heels were little bows. The toes were open, and my pink nails could be seen through my nylons.

Down over my head, drifted the softest most sensuous satin slip that I had ever had the privilege of wearing. This was new. Sharon told me that while I was sleeping this morning that she had gone in to Potsdam, to buy me something special for today. It had a big full skirt that just seemed to constantly rustle against my nylons, and it seemed to touch nearly every square inch of my thighs. I loved it. The bodice and the hem were trimmed in two icnhes of the finest most delicate lace I had ever seen before. It hung from my shoulders by delicate satin spaghetti straps. This was a truly feminine slip and I really did feel a sense of privelege to be allowed to wear it.

Next, she showed me the dress she had bought for me. It was white with a loud floral pattern on it of big red and yellow flowers with big green leaves. It had a wide full skirt with a three inch wide red belt. It was made of a soft silky jersy material, and I could hardly wait to see what I would look like in it. Before she allowed me to put the dress on, however, she wanted to do my makeup.

She plucked at my eyebrows, making them perfectly arched, then she studiously applied my makeup. We both have summer complexions, so we can use the same make-up and clothes colors.

First came a rose based foundation cream. Next she brushed my eyelashes with a water proof brown mascara, till they were thick and long, sticking farther out than I had ever seen them before. She then highlighted my eyes with a liquid eyeliner, also in brown. Next came the dark blue eyeshadow over my lower eyelids, and a thin strip of light blue eyeshadow above that, nearly as high as my arched brows. When she was satisfied, she let me apply my own blush and lipstick, while she dressed herself.

She wore bright red lingerie trimmed in black lace. She told me that if she was going to have sex with Danny that night, that she wanted him to get as hot as he could possibly get, and that her sexy lingerie could always do that to a man. Over this, she draped a black silk slip with red lace trim on the bodice and hem. Over this, she lowered a silky red dress, that was kind of tight around her breasts and her hips. I envied her for her natural shapeliness.

My dress, I realized, though very pretty, looked a wee bit little girlish beside what she was wearing. It almost looked too feminine. When I commented on it, she laughed and told me that she would never wear it, because it was just too woosie for her tastes. I asked what that meant, and she laughed. She explained that most modern girls thought woosie meant too gilrly like, too femiinine, or just too frilly and sissy like for modern girls.

None the less, I raised my dress over my head, because, woosie or not, I thought it was gorgeous. I slid the silky short sleeves over my wrists and let the ultra feminine garment envelope me in its prettiness. Once I had the full skirt adjusted, and the short puffy Bishop’s sleeves were comfortable, I buttoned the three large round buttons up the front, and buckled the belt.

An inch or so of the lace bodice of my slip could be seen above the deep V shaped neck line of my new dress. I’d seen girls dressed like that before, and I had always thought that it was very pretty. There was no floor length mirror in the shower house, so I could not see what I looked like. I knew that I felt like a princess. Sharon solved my problem for me. She produced an instamatic camera, and took pictures of me in various poses. We waited a few minutes for them to be developed.

I was absolutely thrilled with the image that I presented. The wide belt made my skirt flare out. It fell to just an inch above my knees, and made me look ultra feminine, almost like a girl from the mid fifties might look. It was a delight, and I was very pleased with it.

Next, I had to sit patiently while she played with my hair, using combs, pins and mousse. When she was done, I had curly bangs at the front and my hair was full of soft waves, falling to curl inward at my nearly bare shoulders. I loved it. I smiled my pleasure at her handiwork at her. With my eyes closed, she sprayed perfume at the back of my neck and my wrists.

In only a few more minutes, we were back in the car, and driving towards the camp site where the Nicholsons were.

Before we got out of the car, she remembered that she had forgotten about putting on our jewelry. I was still wearing my new earrings, and she said that they went fine with my dress. I wrapped a delicate silver wristwatch on my left wrist, and put a small pearl ring on my right hand, the fourth finger. Next, she reached up behind my neck to snap on a delicate thin silver necklace, with a diamond looking heart pendant dangling from it. She smiled and told me that I was as pretty as any princess. I felt like a pretty young lady.

I was surprised to see that the boyse were still in their scrubby old casual clothes. They explained that they needed to go home to change their clothes.

Sharon gave the keys to the car to Danny, and she sat in the front, on the passenger side. I sat behind Danny, and Chris sat beside me. His eyes were full of wonder at what I looked like. All he could keep saying was, "Gosh... you’re gorgeous..."

It made me very self conscious, and, I loved his adoration. We sat, holding hands in the back seat, for the whole three quarters of an hour that it took to get to Chris’ house in Canton. Sharon told us that she and Danny were going on to Danny’s house, for him to change, and that they would come and get us when they were finished.

Once we got inside the house, Chris grabbed me and wrapped me in his strong arms around me, nearly crushing me as he smothered my face with his kisses. I was thankful that I had thought to put a supply of makeup in my purse, because, I just knew that he had smeared my lip stick, but I did not care. I just wanted to feel him continue kissing me so ardently. He held me tightly like that for nearly fifteeen beautiful minutes.

I went to the bathroom to repair my lip stick, and he told me where his room was, and to go there when I was done. I loved the sound of my delicate heels clicking on the hardwood floors in their house. I loved the constant rustling of my lingerie when I walked. It just made me feel just so completely girlish.

I walked down the hall to Chris’ room. It was a typical guy’s room, with a basketball net on the wall, sports posters all over the place, including on the ceiling, and some dirty clothes thrown on the floor in scattered heaps. He was obviously a slob, this Chris of mine. I grinned. As there were no chairs in his room, I went over and sat on his bed, and waited for him.

He had gone to take a shower. He came back naked and he had a raging hard on. When he saw me looking at it, he just grinned and told me that that was the price I had to pay for being so pretty. All I could do was smile. He also told me that he was going to find it very hard to put his underwear on, with his cock sticking out like that.

"Brenda, you can’t believe how horny I am for you. I’ve had a hard on all day long, thinking about what you did to me last night."

"Oh? I suppose you want some more to?"

"Heh, does a bear shit in the woods? I’d be daffers not to want some more of your loving. You are fantastic."

"Is that why you got me up here, on the pretense of showing me your room?"

"Well, Brenda, would you be real mad if that was true. By the way, you look absolutely beautiful tonight."

"Thank you kind sir. So, are you going to be able to live with that hard on, or are you just as desparate as you were last night to get rid of it?"

"In all honesty, I am more desparate than I was last night. I’ve had it all day long. It has almost got me bent over double with the pain."

"Oh... So, you’d like me to take care of it for you?"

"Yeah, but only if you really want to." He looked deeply into my eyes. "It is important to me to know that you really really want to, Brenda."

I did not understand what was going on in his mind, but, I smiled at him as I straightened myself up.

"Yes, Chris, if you must hear it, I really really want to do it for you. I liked doing it for you last night. And I think that I will like doing it for you now. Are you happy, silly boy?"

Amidst the loud rustling of my dress and slip, I kept my eyes fixed on his eyes as I got off his bed and walked over to where he was standing. Still watching his eyes, I reached out to grasp his cock in my right hand, and slowly I lowered myself to my knees. With my eyes still fixed on his eyes I moved my face fore ward till I felt my lips touching on the tip his cock. I pursed my lips, and kissed his cock head. I could smell the fresh clean scent of the soap he had showered with. He was staring down at me, fascinated.

I opened my lips and found that this time, his cock would slide easilly into my mouth, when I was in that position. I took the head of his cock into me, and sucked and licked it a bit. Then I moved my head back so that I could smile up at him.

"You still like to wear girl’s panties, Big Stud, Christa?"

He moaned. He was like putty in my hands. He explained to me, as I vacilated between sucking him and masturbating him, that his mom had always wanted a girl, and that she used to dress him up in pretty dresses and silk panties when he was little. He said he had liked the feel the clothes gave him, and that he missed it when it stopped. It had stopped when his little brother was born.

When I asked, he told me that he used to have his own collection of dolls that he used to play with all the time. I asked if he still wore girl’s clothes at home. He said, as he writhed about, that only some of his mother’s clothes would fit him, and he wore those as often as he could get away with it.

Then he asked me again if I really really liked what I was doing to him. I took his cock out of my mouth and smiled up at him.

"Chris, I can gurantee that if I did not like what I am doing to you, that I would not do it." Then I put him back into my mouth and started trying to make him cum for me again.

"You know, I find it almost absolutely unbelievable that you are really a boy."

The shock of what he had just said, hit me like a hammer on my head. My eyes went dark and fear tore through my psyche. I froze. My first thought was that if he tried to hurt me, I could bite the cock that was in my mouth, and try to run away. That would at least immobilize him for sure.

But I knew that he was not going to hurt me. I quickly realized that he loved what I was doing, especially since he now knew that I was also a boy, though I was a complete girl at the moment. He must have had a talke with Sharon.

Not knowing what else that I could do, I slowly regained control of myself. I went back to licking and sucking the cock that was so hard in my mouth. My hands were shaking.

"You know, last night when you asked me if I would like to have a boyfriend who passed himself of as a girl, and I told you that I would love to meet a girl boy like that, I was not kidding you. I want you to become my steady girlfriend. I want you to come and see me some times, even after you go back to your old life.I want to make love to you lots of times. I... I even want to suck you the way you are sucking me, Brenda."

When he said that, he started to spurt his big load into my mouth. I hungrilly sucked it all out of him, trying to get every drop. I felt the thick stuff as it started to slide down my throat. Girls felt things like this all the time. I felt very girlish.

When Chris got soft in my mouth, I got up and went over to lay on the bed. I was emotionally exhausted. Chris came over and lay beside me. He started to kiss me on the lips. He licked my lips.

"I can taste the cum on your lips, Brenda."

"Do you like the taste?"

"Yeah... I do. I want to taste your cum to."

With that, he put his hand down on my right knee and he slowly pushed it up under my dress, caressing my nyloned thighs. I did not stop him this time. He pushed his hand all the way up, till I could feel his fingers on the crotch of my panties. I was achingly hard for him.

I lay on my back, panting, afraid to move lest I find that I had only been dreaming. Chris moved down on the bed. He sat on the edge and reached over to push my dress and slip all the way up till it was bunched up on my belly.

He leaned over and slowly he began to kiss the thighs above the tops of my nylons. His lips then moved to the front of my panties. I could feel his hot moist breath right through my panties.

His fingers then slowly lowered the front of my panties. I felt him fingering at the apparatus that Sharon had made for me, till he figured out how it worked. H unhooked the little hooks, then he pushed my legs open so that my erection could spring up.

"It’s beautiful, Brenda, just beautiful. It is almost... dainty. I like it."

I felt the bed shift as he moved his weight. Then I felt the glorious sensation as his wet warm mouth came down over me. I was aware of every single stitch of feminine clothing that I was wearing. Chris, even though he was sucking my cock, was making me feel completely girlish. This was like my wildest fantasy coming true. It took very very little to make me explode in his mouth. I was so super charged sexually, that it only took a few seconds. The orgasm was so intense that I nearly blacked out as I ejaculated wildly into my boy lover’s mouth. I felt that I was loved by him, and that made me wild with orgasmic release. I was unable to stop the moans that escaped my lips as he made love to me.

Once I had started to get soft, he replaced my clothing for me, tucking me back between my legs gently. Next he moved up to lay beside me again, with a big grin on his face.

"Well, I guess that you are not the only cock sucker here, now are you, Brenda?

I could not resist smiling back at him, and wrapping my arms around his neck in a loving embrace. As far as I was concerned, this boy could do anything that he ever wanted to to to me, and, I would love him for it.

 

© 2001
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