The Bomber by: Janet Stickney JanetLynn17@hotmail.com
As the bomber made its way to the target, contrails marked their path like an arrow in the sky. All of the men on board knew the dangers of course, but to a man they were ready to risk their fates for the greater good. Capt. Mike Hasse was a man that took his job seriously, and sometimes took chances to deliver the ordinance on target, but he was also aware of the terrible risks he put all of his crew in when he took those chances. As they arrived in the target zone flak reached up into the sky, bursting in black puffs of smoke, that at first glance looked harmless, but the exploding shells sent fragments of steel in all directions, hitting the bomber with a thundering roar. In the first ten minutes over the target zone the plane took over forty hits from the shrapnel, piercing the skin of the plane, ruining the radio and hitting the navigator in the leg.
At the release point, the bombs sailed through the air in a downward arc and soon disappeared in the clouds. Capt. Hasse made a wide sweeping turn to port for the return to England, and had just leveled out when the fighters came at them from out of the sun, which hid them from discovery until the last moment. Machine guns raked the plane on the first pass, killing the co-pilot and one of the gunners. As the other eight guns fired on the fighters the bomber rolled right as one of the engines was shot away. As the bomber rolled left to gain control, Capt. Hasse struggled with the stricken bomber all alone as his gunners tried to shoot down the fighters. The plane was badly hit and all of the remaining crew knew they could not fly back to England. All they could do was fight back and trust the pilot. Then another engine was hit and the bomber became a virtual target in the sky, and the German fighters swooped down for the kill.
In the last few minutes of flight, four more crewmen were killed and the pilot injured. Only Cpl. Grant was uninjured. As the bomber did a slow turn towards the ground and the plane filled with smoke, he struggled through the acrid haze and fire, managing to pull the pilot to the door where he jumped, pulling the captain with him as he leapt out of the plane. As their parachutes opened and they drifted to earth, the fighters flew in close, but did not fire on them. Some pilots had seen others shot by passing fighters after they parachuted out, but the Germans let them float to ground unharmed.
The shock of landing made it hard for the Corporal to quickly get out of his chute and to his Captain, but as soon as he reached him, he saw that the Captain was almost dead. He held his head up and tried to give him some water, but the Captain, in his pain just lay in his arms. "Jimmy, get home if you can. Tell Joyce I love her." Then he died. Cpl. James Grant was more scared than ever before, but his training paid off. He quickly buried the parachutes and his Captain, taking the captains pistol and extra ammunition, dog tags, and insignia with him when he ran to the nearby forest. He settled into a small depression and tried to figure out where he was. Since the target area had been Munich, and they had been flying West but bearing slightly North towards the English coast, he thought he was near Strasburg, close to the French border.
God I was cold! It was supposed to be summer! When the Captain died I did what I had to do, but I was scared the whole time, and waiting for the German patrols to come looking for me wasn't in my plans. I found a good place to hide and waited for night to come and I could get away from here. While I was waiting, I wondered how a kid like me could end up like this. The Army recruited guys like me specifically for the waist gunner's job, which is what I did in the plane. It was a small space and anyone over 5'5" couldn't sit there with any kind of comfort, and if you weighed more than 140 pounds it was tight on the sides. I weigh maybe 120 on a good day, right after dinner, and I'm only 5'3" tall, which made me a natural for the job. Besides, I was a good shot with the twin .50's, and in six flights had shot down two fighters myself. Growing up in the city didn't make it easier for me, but I wasn't the only kid in school my size. Bucky Schultz and Ben Affers and I shared the same fate. Small in size, we were always the butt of someone's jokes.
I waited until later that night before trying to make my way into France, and then to England. Travelling at night with only my compass and a small map I managed to finally get to France, a small village that seemed to have been spared the terrible consequences of war. None of the houses seemed to be damaged, the streets were clear of debris, and it was deathly quiet. I made a careful reconnaissance of the village, finding no signs of German occupation before I found refuge in a barn. I slept, but right on the edge of wakefulness, my eyes opening at any sound, no matter how small.
As the sun crested the horizon, I was wide awake, and ready for the first sign of trouble. I heard the farmers rising, beginning to tackle the chores of their farms and relaxed when nobody came in the barn. Around noon I heard the door open, the creaky hinges making a racket in the quiet barn; on alert, I watched as a young woman gathered up a rake, basket, and small shovel, then left. Leaving the door wide open! I really wanted to close the door but knew better, and just waited, silent, and still very much afraid.
It was quite early in the morning, almost two, when I felt the gun barrel pressing against my head. Not moving I opened his eyes and saw the legs of a man. The dirty clothes smelled of dirt, the shoes looked worn, repaired a few times. At the man's urging I was led at gunpoint into the house where I was made to sit at a table in what was the kitchen. A woman and the young girl I had seen earlier began to cook a meal as the farmer sat across from me, his ancient, but very clean shotgun pointed right at me. I wanted to ask some questions, but the shotgun made me hold my tongue, even as the scent of fresh bread, eggs, and coffee reached my nose, making me turn and watch the women cooking. Finally they put a feast in front of me, and at a motion from the woman I ate the first good meal I had eaten in several days. They all watched me eat, not saying a word until I was done, every bit of food on my plate gone, the plate virtually clean.
"My father is very nervous, that is why he holds the shotgun." Her voice was soft and feminine, like I thought it might be. "My name is Marie, my father Pierre, and my mother, Naomi." "Where are we?" "You are in France of course, about 900 Kilometers from Paris, a very long way!" Her English was very good, and I asked about it. "I spent a summer in England before the war." Then her face turned very serious. "You cannot stay here. The Germans leave us alone, and we do not want to change that. You will have to go to Paris if you want to get back to England." Even if her estimate of 900 Kilometers were right, travelling at night, in enemy territory, if I was very lucky, would take me almost a month, at least a month! "We have a way to get you there." The old man spoke for the first time, his English poor, but clear enough. "You have no choice but to trust us." The girl said it, but all of them were nodding their heads in unison, and they were right I realized.
Marie took him up the stairs and showed him a room. "You rest here today. Tonight we begin." She closed the door when she left, leaving me staring at my reflection in a cloudy mirror hung on the back of the door. With no choice, I lay down on the bed, and fell asleep right away, my first good sleep in the last few days. Just after six I was wakened by Pierre, and taken to the kitchen. Sitting at the table was a woman, regal looking even in her tattered clothes. She was about 50, with gray streaking her hair, and a few minor wrinkles claiming her face, but she had skin that looked soft, with clear blue eyes that seemed to drill into me.
My name is Jillian Etienne, and I am here to help you get home." Her English was perfect, better than mine! "I was born in England, that is why sir." She had read my mind like a book! "We have a way for you to travel, but you will have to be brave about it, because it is somewhat different." She had seen him walk into the room and knew that he was one of only a few that she could help this way, now all she had to do was tell him. "You will be travelling as my niece Clarice." It took a full minute for that to sink in before that registered. I must have smiled and didn't realize it. "You think it will be fun?" "No. I think it's crazy to even think that I can travel as a woman and get away with it!" "We shall see" was her cryptic answer. "We must go now." As Jillian waited, I thanked Pierre and his family, and left with Jillian, disappearing into the darkness of the night.
We walked for almost the entire night, arriving in a small town I did not know the name of. Germans were all over the place, and she was careful to lead me in a circuitous route that ended in a small shop deep on a side street. She led me to a room and closed the door when we were both inside. "This is my home. I own the dress shop below. Right now the Germans will be about to return to their barracks for the night. Now is the time to get you ready. Please undress." Her quiet but firm manner and my predicament gave me no choice at all, and embarrassed, I slowly undressed. "The bath is in there. Go shave off every bit of hair you can reach, then call me and I will do the rest." Within an hour every bit of my skin was hairless, and Jillian began rubbing a lotion into my skin, all over. I started to get excited and tried to turn away, but she ignored my dilemma and didn't stop. When she was done she used a tape measure at my hips, chest and waist, then gave me a nightgown and told me to get some sleep.
I tried to sleep, I really did, but here I was, wearing a nightgown, deep in German territory, with a woman I had met just a few hours ago. How could I sleep? Early the next morning, Jillian came to my room with an armful of clothes. "Have you ever dressed as a woman before?' I had, but that had been in high school, for a Halloween party. That's what I told her and she smiled. "Good! Then you know what goes on first. I will watch as you get dressed, but first you need this." She held up a corset! Strings hung from the back, and it looked very. intimidating, and stiff! "Hold up your arms." When she wrapped it around me, at first I thought it would be okay. Then she began to tighten the laces. I thought I was going to die from lack of oxygen, but she merely kept at it until she was satisfied that I had a proper waist. She measured me again and said "it will do for now", which, since my eyes were watering already, made me wonder what would be okay. The corset had pushed my chest muscles up, and I'm sure, some of my waist. My hips now looked wider in relation to the rest of me. Jill used some satin scraps to push my now swelling chest up, making a modest cleavage while at the same time making the bust fuller.
Instead of nylons she showed me how to use leg makeup, then at her vanity she started on my face. The stuff she used seemed heavy at first, but as she worked it into my skin I saw that my face began to look softer and smoother. Rouge, some eyeshadow, and then she asked me to face her. The wig she used was brown, the same as my own hair, but because I had a traditional military haircut, all she was able to do with my own hair was use it for the bangs. After that came a white slip and a dark blue dress with white polka dots, some black shoes that had a short heel. Finally, while I sat at the vanity again she pierced my ears and added some small blue and white earrings. Around my neck went a white necklace made of round beads, and a matching bracelet. "You can do the rest", she said, as she handed me perfume and a tube of lipstick. At last, she had me stand still while she checked me over. "Fabulous! You will have no trouble at all Clarice!" She took my hand and we walked down the stairs and into the shop where she gave me a purse.
"Now we have to walk down the street about two blocks to have a picture taken. Walk with the same stride I do, keep your arms near your sides, and carry your purse under your arm like this." She showed me, and as soon as I understood, we left the store. German soldiers were all over the place, but they walked past us with only a few crude remarks. I must have flinched when they spoke because she asked me about it. "You understand them?" "My Grandmother was German. I learned the language from her." She didn't say anything, but I saw her smile.
The store we went into was a grocery; the old man must have expected us because he hustled us into the back right away. I sat on a stool against a white background while he took the picture. Jill and I waited until he had developed the picture, which Jill put in her purse, then we went back to her shop. "Since you speak German", "and a little French" I added, "you are in a perfect position to travel!" She showed me the passports. One was German and the other French. "For now you will be Clarice Marie Etienne, my niece, and work here in the shop with me. Contacts will be made and we will be told what to do later, maybe in a few days. Until then, you work in the shop with me." I knew less than nothing about women's clothes, but in the next few days Jill made sure I learned all I could, and was able to do my own makeup and hair, and how a proper young girl dresses and acts. I helped her sort through her meager supply of clothes and acted as a dress dummy once while she made a dress. Three days later, the man that took my picture walked in and spoke to Jill, then left.
"We are to travel to Paris by train; we will be met by my husband. Let's go pack you a traveling case." I was surprised by the things she gave me, because it almost wiped out her store, but she just waved it away. I had a traveling suit of gray, the blue and white dress, two blouses and a dark skirt. She also gave me the corset and a small makeup kit that had a small bottle of perfume in it. Then she gave me my passports. "We travel using the French, so hide the German papers well." I could find no good place to hide them until I had to use the bath. Then it struck me, and I loosened the corset and pushed the papers up from the bottom so that they lay against my stomach. Under the corset they would not show at all. As soon as she was ready, we gathered up our cases and made our way to the train station, and boarded the train to Paris.
About twenty minutes after the train pulled out of the station a German Major asked us for our papers, and we handed them over. He asked me to stand, and I did, fearing the worst, but all he did was look at me, then the picture! As he walked through the rest of the car my knees began to shake, and I had to put my coat over my knees to hide the shaking. It took almost an hour for me to calm down, and later, Jill gave me an apple to eat. When we arrived in Paris it was early afternoon, and just like she said, her 'husband' was there to meet us. He gave me a peck on the cheek as well, and greeted me by the name Clarice. Germans were all over the place as we walked out, and into the crowd. The sounds and smells of Paris reminded me of home; the sidewalk vendors, and the honking horns, the people. He put us in a taxi, and we drove across the city, and then, to a small villa high on a small rise.
My 'Uncle' showed us into the house, and then, to our rooms. We met later in a small room that looked out across the city. "My name is Henri, your host while you are here." He turned to me and took a small paper out of his pocket. "This is from your General Ike. As he requested, it is unopened." I took the letter and quickly opened it. It wasn't everyday that a simple Corporal got a letter from the Commanding General!
It read:
Cpl. Grant,
Since you are now in France, we have a unique situation which will require you to do service well beyond what you ever expected. I have a copy of your latest photograph. Your files indicate that you speak German, so we ask that you remain in France so that you can help us gather information about the enemy. You may decline if you wish and nothing will appear in your service file.
It was unsigned, but it gave the signal of our aircraft and then, my mothers maiden name. it was real, and I knew it. I looked to Henri, and he sat back with his arms crossed on his chest. "Cherie, I will tell you that what your General asks is a lot, but he asked me to help you if you decide to stay." Now what! Live as a woman? I had no idea what they wanted of me!" "If you stay," Henri said, "I have someone that will help you. You will be my niece, like now, and you will live here with me. I cannot say more until you decide." I wanted to get back home, but my sense of honor and duty rose up and bit me on the ego. Besides, surprisingly, I was beginning to like the feel of the clothes now that I had worn them for almost ten days. I nodded my head yes, and saw the smiles around the table.
"We want you to take a job in the German Headquarters. They are looking for German speaking French, and you will fit right in. Before I could even speak he told me that in the morning he was taking me to someone that could help me become a better woman! We ate a small meal and I retired to my room. Jillian came in later that evening and we talked for a long time about what I would have to do, and how much I had to learn about being a woman. "I will be here all of the time Clarice, to help you, and guide you." It was nice that she was going to stay close, but I was the one that had to do this, and I wasn't quite as sure about it as I had been earlier.
In the morning I wore a simple skirt and blouse when Henri and I drove to a small caf, right in the heart of the city. In the back we walked up a flight of stairs, and after a short knock, we were admitted. The woman that opened the door was a Negro, quite tall, with her hair falling just below her ears. Her skin was not very dark, and she had a wonderful smile. She greeted Henri like an old lover, and after we were introduced, we sat around a small table. "Coco, this is the girl I told you about. She needs your best effort, and all that you can teach her." She looked at me and smiled, then, in English, with a Brooklyn accent, she told Henri to leave!
When we were alone she and I talked a little after she served coffee. "I used to be Esther Fronne when I worked in New York, but when I moved here I changed it to Coco Nutt. I didn't plan on the Germans coming, and now I'm stuck here." When I asked her why Henri brought me to her, she threw her head back and laughed, a light tinkling sound. "Because Cherie, I am a man, just like you!" I was floored! A man! She was beautiful, without one sign that she was a man! Then she got serious, and she told me to strip naked, because I was about to begin. She watched me as I stripped to the panties, then, with a wiggle of her finger, I removed those as well. I was now as naked as I ever was when she told me that what was coming next was going to be painful, but it had to be done, and directed me to the kitchen table. On the small stove was a pot with something in it. "This is wax Clarice. I will let it cool a bit, and then pour it on you. When it cools the pain starts, because that is when I take the wax off. "Why?" "Because Cherie, it will make your skin flawlessly smooth, and the hair will not grow back for a long time. All of the best impersonators use it. You will need it because your life depends on it." Then she poured the first of it on my legs. It was hot, but not enough to actually burn me; Coco let it cool, then, without warning, she stripped the first of it off. I thought I would jump off of the table but her hand was in the middle of my chest holding me down.
Three hours later she said I was done and let me up from the table. I felt as if every square inch of my skin was been scalded, but after she rubbed in a lotion the pain went away. We ate a small lunch, then she showed me what else I would need to do. "This is called a gaff; it will give you a smooth front and hide your genitals at the same time. But first we have to make a few small adjustments." She showed me how, using cold water, to shrink myself, and then, how to wear the gaff. It was made of a thin rubber that was close to my own skin tone, and after I slid it on and adjusted the two straps high on my waist, I was surprised at how comfortable it was. "Later we will improve how it looks, but for now it will do." Coco picked up two small bags made out of that new rubber called latex. "Now we will make your breasts. You and I will decide how big you shall be. How big do you want to be?" I had no idea, but I thought I should look average, maybe a bit more, and told her that. "This is what we fill the bags with. You pour and I'll weigh it." Using a measuring cup, I poured until she told me to stop, then she held it to my chest. "One more I think Clarice. That will make you a bit more mature looking." I poured it in and she tested it against me, said it was fine, and we did the other one. She mixed up a bit of dyes made out of makeup and added some to each breastform and stirred it with a spoon until the color matched my skin. Using a hot iron she closed the seams in a way that left them teardrop shaped! She trimmed the edges with scissors then wiped my chest with alcohol. Using spirit gum she attached them to my chest and smoothed down the edges. When she was done I looked in the mirror and saw that I had what appeared to be two perfectly formed breasts growing out of my chest!
"You can wear them for a week at a time, then you must take them off and clean your chest, waiting two hours before you put them back on. Understand?" I nodded my head yes. "Now we do your hips." The process was much the same, and within an hour she was done, and I now had rounder hips. After that we took a break and she told me why she left New York. "They didn't like my style of dancing for one thing, and when I was headlining at the Cotton Club a very big man decided he wanted me. When he found out I was a man he went crazy. I just made it back to my place when a friend called and told me that the guy's goons would be looking for me. This gig was open, so I took it. Then the war came, and here I am." I told her about myself, and the one time I dressed as a girl, which brought out a laugh from her. "All of the best ones start at Halloween Clarice, and you are going to be one of the best ever!"
That statement brought me up short! "But Coco, I don't know about being a woman! I can wear the clothes and do the makeup, but all of the other things! I'm lost there!" "You will do fine Clarice. It is a matter of mind as well as how you look. Speaking of that, lets see what we can do with your hair." When this all started I had a military haircut, but I was due for another when we were shot down, and now I could feel my hair tickling my neck. Coco thought I could do without the wig, or at least a full wig, and had me sit at her vanity so she could try a few things. She wet my hair and used a few small rollers in the front and brushed out the back. In the end she used what she called a fall, which was added to the top of my head and held in place with some pins and a built in comb. When she was done I had to admit that it was a lot more comfortable than the wig, and made me look a bit more naturally feminine.
Then she went on to show me the tricks of makeup, and at the same time she thinned my eyebrows into a wider arch. "Now we get you dressed." I watched as she picked up something that looked something like a corset, which she said, was called a Basque. I wrapped it around myself and fastened the hooks in the front and zipped it up, feeling the way it pulled me in at the waist. I wore the same bra, but I had to adjust the straps because my new breasts made it fit so differently, and the way they moved without the bra was so different. I put the rest of my clothes back on and stood in front of her. "You are wonderful Clarice! Simply perfect! Wait two weeks and come back to see me. I will teach you how to do your hair." She gave me a bag of things to take, including some of the makeup she had used. " I hugged her, and she called Henri to come and get me.
When he first saw me his mouth dropped open and I used the moment to give him a peck on the cheek. He drove us home, and Jillian was waiting to see me after Coco had done her best. She was also impressed. We had a late dinner, then Henri and I went over my 'legend' to make sure I had it right. "You will ask about employment in the morning, so take all of your papers and wear your best clothes." I said I would, and went to bed.
I quickly found out that because of my breasts, sleeping on my stomach was out, but I was tired a quickly drifted out. In the morning I laid out my clothes and sat at the vanity to redo my hair and makeup, then pulled the slip over my head and then the blue dress with the polka dots. This time the belt around my waist accented my new figure, which was a lot more comfortable without the corset. Jillian had given me a dark blue jacket to wear and I slipped it on and saw that it was short, coming just to my waist. I added the blue and white jewelry, a dash of perfume, and a deep red lipstick. Checking my purse to make sure I had everything, I added the perfume and the lipstick, a hanky, and a small mirror. I was ready, and stepped out of the room to join Jillian and Henri for breakfast. We ate almost in silence, then Henri drove me to a shop close by the Headquarters and let me out. I was now on my own.
As I walked the few blocks to the building I thought about what might happen to me if I was ever found out. It would not be pleasant, that much was for sure, so it was up to me to do the best I could. As I walked into the building the guard asked me what I wanted, and in perfect German I told him that I had heard that they were looking for German speaking French, and I was there to inquire about the position. He made a call and a woman walked out to meet me. She was tall, slim, and beautifully dressed in a grey woolen dress, a bright scarf around the neck, a maroon belt and matching shoes. She had brown hair that was starting to show a little gray, but obviously under the care of an experienced hairdresser. The most surprising was that she had an open smiling face showing me a friendly welcome. She motioned to her office, and I followed her in.
After an hour of questioning, she had me fill out some paperwork, and I was hired to work in the office of Major Gerhard Schwartz, on the second floor of the building. She showed me the way, and the Major and I were properly introduced. He showed me the desk I would use, and let me organize things that way I wanted them. My typing skills were barely adequate for high school, but I managed to get better after he dictated a few letters that afternoon. I was given a pass to the building and my picture was taken for an insert to my own papers. That night I filled Henri in on my duties and who I was working for. He told me to not do anything out of the ordinary, but to be just your average secretary. For that entire week I settled into the job, and on Friday, I was paid, worth about $15 in US money, which was a fortune at the time. On the way back to the house I passed a small dress shop and went in.
It was the first time I was buying women's clothes, but I found two dresses and a suit that I liked, and another pair of shoes. The entire bill was $7.50! The woman put my things in a bag and I walked the rest of the way home making a quick stop at the small grocery and then the bakery where I bought bread, and some fish for dinner that night. I had almost six dollars left when I walked into the house. Jillian and I made dinner, and after we ate I showed her the clothes I had bought, and then tried them on. I didn't realize it at the time, but it was a sure sign that I was beginning to feel comfortable in my role as a woman. I think Jillian knew it, but she never said a word to me.
At work, the Major complimented me on my new clothes, but otherwise remained aloof, and our working relationship went quite well. Only once did he ever suggest in any way that I might find the nightlife in Paris exciting, with him. But he was older than my own father, and while I never said no, he did not push it and he never mentioned it again. There was a lieutenant on Field Marshal Kohlditz staff, Rolf Bremerman, that was my age, and he did ask me out. After making a few quiet inquiries, I agreed, and on Friday night, I had my very first date. Like many of the officers, he was full of himself and knowing what my primary duty was, I let him talk, and he gave away some very secret information! Being quiet I became like a star struck girl in his eyes, and he asked me to go to a nightclub with him the next night. How could I refuse? I said yes, but when told him that I did not have a dress nice enough for a nightclub, he motioned for the check, and he drove me to a warehouse that was filled with beautiful clothes!
"Confiscated for the Reich, but I don't think they will miss a few dresses, do you?" He let me walk around and look, then, after I had made a few selections, he waited while I tried them on. When we left the warehouse I had three wonderful dresses, with shoes and jewelry to match. When he drove me home I knew that I would have to kiss him, and as soon as the car had stopped I let him kiss me. It wasn't bad at all, which surprised me. I went in after promising to be ready at seven the next night. I was a very tired girl that night, but not tired enough to forget to wake Henri and pass on the information I had.
I never saw a radio in the house, but I did know that Henri was always able to find out things. When I told him what I had heard he merely smiled, but I knew that soon, the Allies would also know. The next morning I called Coco and asked to help me get ready, and rather than my going to her place, she came to the house. The first thing I did was to remove all of the breastforms, hip padding, and the gaff. She checked my skin, and thankfully said that I didn't need the wax again. I washed my skin, and while I waited the two hours, she began on my hair, which she said was long enough to wear without a hairpiece. She watched as I thinned my own eyebrows, then I went in the bath and sank into the hot water we had started earlier. By the time I was out of the tub I was relaxed and ready to get dressed for the evening. I rubbed a lotion that smelled like fresh flowers all over and walked into the bedroom, where Coco gave me a new gaff. This one was slightly smaller, and in the front, was a realistic bit of hair!
"I finished it yesterday and now is as good a time to try it as any. Slip it on." I did as she told me, adjusting it so that I was comfortable, and even though it was smaller, I actually felt better. "It holds things a bit more firmly Clarice, that's why it feels better, but I wasn't sure about the length. Try it and let me know how it works out." She and I together put the breastforms back on, but this time I used a bit of foundation to hide the thin seams where they met my chest. The rest was easy and before long I was at the vanity doing my makeup while Coco watched, making suggestions as I went along. Then, for the first time I had my nails trimmed and filed into nice oval shapes, and painted a hot red. While I waited she started on my hair, using heated rollers and a gel of some kind. After that, she teased and fluffed my hair so that it looked as if I had more hair than I did, and it was very feminine in shape and style. She had done my hair in a short bob that left my ears open while curling under in the back with bangs that sat on my forehead and cut straight across. Jillian had loaned me a corsolet that was all pink with white lace trim, and a pair of stockings. I wrapped it around myself and Coco did up the laces in the back, When she was done I had a 21 inch waist and my breasts had been pushed up, and into the cups of the bra creating an impressive cleavage. I looked at Coco, worried that she had over done it, but all she did was smile at me! I sat on the chair and rolled the stockings up my legs and fastened them to the garter tabs and pulled in the tension. The dress was next, and I careful slipped it over my head and let it settle on my shoulders. Coco zipped it up, and I felt the material shrink to fit me, accenting my new curves. The dress was a dark green with silvery rhinestones for accent, and strapless, it left me bare at the top almost to the point of embarrassment while the hem was just above my knees. Coco assured me it was in style, and I took her word for it. The jewelry I had in the box were rhinestones surrounded by gold, the earring's chandelier style while the necklace lay on my chest just below my neck. The bracelet was loose on my wrist, but I liked it that way after a bit. The shoes were black patent leather heels three inches high. I had never worn heels that high before, so I practiced walking around until I felt comfortable in them.
Before I left the room I did my lipstick in a deep red that matched my lipstick, and added perfume. Coco gave me a hug, and I left to wait for my date to arrive. He arrived in a staff car, then drove us to Palace Le Blanche, a popular nightclub in downtown Paris. It was also a place of intrigue, since the owner was a member of the Resistance. His sole duty was to help his girls gather information and pass it on. I didn't know this at the time, nor did he know about me, which became a problem later, because his Maitre' de was writing down the names of the woman that consorted with the Germans for later reprisals. Rolf and I were seated, and just after he had ordered our dinner, the music started.
Living on the meager meals Jillian and I could make, made my dinner a feast, and I understood why some women were gambling with their lives by staying with, or being seen with a German. Under the makeup and padding I was an Allied flier, and the risks I was taking by dressing as a woman made my predicament even worse than theirs, but many of them ate little, scooping the rest of the food into their purses for their families. I ate the dinner, not making any move to take any home, because I wanted Rolf to relax and not think I had a young family. During a break in the music his boss, Major Hess joined us at our table, and let slip that the Allies had landed at Normandy. "It was a blood bath for them Rolf, but they did manage to get ashore. There is much fighting along the coast, but our Panzer division will certainly be sent to throw them back into the sea." He stood and excused himself, leaving me with Rolf and a serious desire to learn more about the invasion.
When he pulled up in front of my house, his arm went around my shoulders and as he drew me close to him I had no choice but to submit to him. His hand found my bare leg, and when he let it roam higher, almost to my panties, I stopped him. It was obvious that he was excited and I had no intention of letting him try to rape me, so I let my hand find him. As I stroked him, he relaxed almost instantly. It was the first time I had ever touched another man and I was scared of what might happen, but he let me stroke him until he finished. I used a hankie to clean my hand, and after he kissed me I went in. Jillian was there and I passed on the news I had heard. That's when she told me that it was imperative that I find out everything I could during the next few days at work. She was kind enough not to ask about anything else.
On Monday morning I reported to work as usual, but instead of Rolf, I was met by Major Hess and escorted into the Field Marshal's office. "You will work here until further notice Fraulein." The General himself had me type out directives for the protection of Paris, the troops stationed there, and finally, the destruction of Paris. On the huge map behind his desk was to location of every German unit, and all known Allied units. Patton was still well South, and the German Army had a well established line of defense. I could not take notes of course, but I memorized everything I could about the area South of France. It was hectic, with officers and planners meeting often that day, and at the end of the day I had to hurry home so that Henri could do whatever he did with the information.
Every day after that, for almost a month the Allies managed to break through the German defenses, making all of the officers very nervous. Montgomery was forcing the issue by being the anvil while Patton became the hammer. Between them they managed to bottle up the Germans near Brussels in what was later to be called the Battle of the Bulge. Patton used his speed to strike deep, moving almost one hundred miles in a few days to relieve General McCauliff and his men. I myself heard the Field Marshal chuckle when he heard the response General McCauliff gave when he was told to surrender. "Nuts!" "This general will not admit defeat easily, and Patton is on his way to help him. We must prepare for the siege of Paris!" I had seen the devastation that bombing can cause first hand and I did not want to be there when, and if, a siege happened, but I had no choice. It was late when I got home that night and quickly gave Henri the information.
When Patton began rushing towards Paris, Field Marshal Kohlditz received an order from Berlin, from Hitler himself, telling him to reduce Paris to rubble before letting the Allies take it! But he was really a man of great understanding, and he must have known that by making Paris a pile of bricks, he would be forever known as a butcher. While his men were brutal in many cases, generally he let the people run their shops and so on, under strict rules. He gave the order to evacuate Paris, leaving it intact two days later.
Henri handed me a communiqu that directed me to remain in my guise as Clarice until I was contacted by a man known only as 'Reptile', and told what to do next. I could not chance going to work while the Germans were packing, burning, or shredding all of the documents in their headquarters, so I waited with Henri and Jillian in the house. Neither of them could tell me why I was to remain living as Clarice, only that I was told to. While we waited I tried to imagine what a man with a name like Reptile would look like, wondering if he was extremely ugly, or big, or, handsome and tall. It was a scary time for all of us because the Germans were beginning to shoot anyone they thought was a member of the Resistance. Henri was shot in his car just a block away from the house, and Jillian and I knew that the Germans might shoot us just in case we were also members of the Resistance, so we left the house. We hid in the house of a friend for the next few days, and when the shooting stopped we knew that The Allies were at the outskirts of the city. The Germans left as fast as they could to the North while the French Army entered the city from the South and West.
We stayed hidden for two more days, then returned to our house. Alone and safe, I took the time to take a bath, shave, and get dressed again while Jillian did the same thing. Reptile showed up that afternoon. He was not at all like I envisioned; he was short and squat, almost bald, with bright blues eyes. Once he identified himself, he took Jillian and I in a car to the headquarters of the American Army. Both of us had assumed that we would talk with Intelligence officers, but we were taken into the office of General Patton! He had two of his staff there with him, and General DeGaulle as well. The door was closed and he simply looked at both of us before he spoke. "Never in all of my time in the military have I met such brave men! Your sacrifice was more than many men could take and I commend you." He shook our hands, and sat back down.
Patton is an imposing man that wants to win at any cost, and my impersonating a woman, to him, was just another way to win. At no time was he less than cordial, or did he or anyone else in the room, comment on the way I was dressed. But he did confirm my identity by asking me questions that only I could answer. When he was satisfied, he asked me to remain behind while Jillian was allowed to leave with another officer. "Your work provided me with a lot of very useful information Clarice, and I want to personally thank you for your efforts." He had used my cover name! "We want you to continue your role as a woman, but given the situation, we think that you should be in uniform. As a member of my staff you can travel around the city and not worry about being accosted." I knew what he meant. Many of the women that had catered to the Germans were being systematically found and their heads shaved. It was a sign of their shame. General Patton knew that would happen to me as well, so he wanted me in uniform. After 14 months living as a woman, trying to regain my male status would be hard, and now, I wasn't sure that I even wanted to regain my male status! "We'll talk later Clarice. Go with the Major and she will see to your needs."
I went with the Major, and as we walked along she told me that General Patton had decided that I should also be a Major! "He is very impressed with your work here Clarice, how did you come to be in France went it all started?" I couldn't answer her, and I'm sure she knew it, so I just said: "I was lucky I guess." She dropped it and we went into the ladies locker room where she gave me a complete uniform, which was GI all of the way. "We were given your sizes, so everything should fit." I was left alone to change, but found it unnerving to undress with the chance that one of the other women might walk in at any moment. Leaving my dress on, I changed into the regulation panties before I undressed, and changed. On a small shelf I found some makeup, and touched up my face before I ventured out of the room as a brand new Major in the WAC's. My uniform had all of the right decorations on it, which surprised me, because some of them were for combat missions women were not allowed to be in!
I had lunch, and was summoned back to the General's office. Because I was now in uniform, I saluted him was soon as I approached his desk. With him was a man that seemed to be tall, almost portly, with gray eyes that seemed to look right through a person. I was motioned to a chair, and once seated, General Patton left the room without a word. "You have done well Clarice, very well indeed, and not one person ever knew that you were a male! What you have done was an astounding feat, even for a real female. You have much to be proud of." His relaxed manner and easy voice made me wonder just what he did during the war, but all that came out was: "I'm not sure that I'll tell my family I spent it as a woman sir." He chuckled and sat back. We looked at each other for a few moments, then he spoke while looking directly at me. "How would you like to continue your role as Clarice?"
It was the very same question that had begun to nag at me a few months ago. There was no doubt in my mind that I liked being thought of as a woman; I liked the clothes, the way I was treated, and the attention. As a male I was never in contention because of my size. Many times, only my wits kept me out of trouble while I was growing up. In the last 14 months I had grown to like being thought of as a woman, and now, it was being offered to me as a choice! "Every since you bailed out and Marie found you, we had you transferred to my outfit so you could operate without the Army getting involved." He stood up and put out his hand. I stood and took it, then he told me who he was. "I'm Bill Donovan. I run an outfit called the OSS, the Office of Strategic Services. We gather information about our enemies and help the military decide what to do. Officially, you've been transferred, but if you want, I will release you back to the Army." "What about my remaining as Clarice? How can I explain this to my family?" "You cannot. In fact, we would prefer that you die in combat."
At that I sat down! "It's better for all of us. If you went home and then left again there would be hope that you might return. If you went home as a man your cover would be blown and might be shot by a sniper, and if you go home as a woman, well.. No, I think it's better for all of us if you die in combat." My mother had died before I joined up, my father had remarried, and my sister had married and moved away. Not many would miss me, so I nodded my head yes. "Excellent!" He took my hand, led me to the door, and told me to be out front in twenty minutes. It was the start of an entirely new life for me.
I was well used to dressing as a woman so the female uniform did not bother me, it was all of the saluting! Once we were in the car we went to a small airstrip just outside of Paris and boarded a plane for Geneva. On the way he told me that in Zurich there was a doctor, one with very special skills. I would see him, and when I returned I would be almost a complete woman! True to his word the doctor was a magician. When I left I had no beard, no body hair, and my own breasts! I had my now shoulder length hair cut and styled, and began my career as a spy. You have probably seen me on television many times, because I met and married an Ambassador who happened to be Gay. I was able to satisfy him and he gave me legitimacy as we hosted many parties over the years. I miss him a lot lately. He died in an accident leaving me his estate and his job! From flier to spy to Ambassador. Not a bad career.
© 1998
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