Bless Me Father
by: Deane Christopher
edited by: Steve Zink

9 - NUPTIALS

 

To say that Karen was mad would have been the grossest of understatements. The former Catholic priest felt that two of the people that she cared for deeply had egregiously betrayed her trust. Both had duped her through a simple act of omission. Both had neglected to inform her of what Karen believed to be a very pertinent detail. Both had neglected to make mention of the fact that they were angels, and that she and her newborn, Danielle, were their present assignment here on Earth.

Infuriating Karen even more was the fact that those two friends of hers were not just angels, they were from the upper echelon of the Heavenly Host in that they were both notable archangels. Fact is, they were two of the most celebrated of all the archangels. Though one was operating under the earthly guise of a quirky nineteen-year-old female, Karen had come face to face with the extremely intimidating revelation that her two friends were none other than the Archangels Gabriel and Michael.

Muddying the waters even more was the disquieting fact that the former Catholic priest had come to realize that she was well on the way to falling in love with the Earthly guise of the Archangel Michael. Worse, Mickey De Angelo, the name the Archangel Michael had assumed, had all but acknowledged the fact that he was already hopelessly in love with her.

 

+

 

 

Arriving in the basement in the wee hours of that Sunday morning, Karen harshly snapped, "Gabriella! We need to talk! And, we need to talk now!"

Raising her head slightly off her pillow, Gabriella groggily stammered, "Now? Can’t it please wait till the morning?"

Shifting Danielle in her arms, a miffed Karen returned sharply, "No, it can’t!"

"What time is it, anyway?" a slightly disoriented Gabriella murmured.

"It’s a little after two."

"Oh... so I guess I’m to take it that you’re done with your snit, and you’ve decided to start talking to me again?"

"Gabriella!" Karen sternly admonished. "Don’t be a smartass!"

"All right, already! Let me go to the bathroom first, and then we’ll talk. Okay?!"

"All right, but please make it snappy! I’ve got a lot on my mind..."

 

+

 

 

"First off," Karen began as she nonchalantly raised Danielle to her left breast, "why in Heaven’s name didn’t you tell me you were an angel?"

"Because, you didn’t need an angel when you and I first met. You needed a friend. And, I was more than happy to be that friend."

"All right! Fair enough... so, I guess my next question is, were you ever going to tell me?"

"Honestly, Karen, I can’t answer that question because, I’m not really sure...

"I guess if a situation ever came up where I thought you had a need to know, I wouldn’t have hesitated telling you. Apparently, Mickey thought you needed to know the truth of the matter. Otherwise, I don’t think he would have volunteered the information.

"Let me guess!" Gabriella continued. "The two of you were having a heart to heart conversation in which you told him about your past. That’s to say that you told him about how you had once been a man yourself. And then, knowing him the way I do, Mickey reciprocated by telling you that he was something other than he appeared to be. Correct?"

"Yes. That’s pretty much how it was."

"Well, then it all makes sense. Mickey always did favor the straightforward approach...

"Karen! You do know that he loves you, don’t you?"

"That’s what he told me."

"Well, if Mickey told you that, then it goes without saying that he does. You see, our Mickey the Militant may be a lot of things, but he’s definitely not a liar.

"In other words, Karen, if Mickey said that he loves you, mark my words, girl! He does!"

"But, can he? Can an angel actually love a human being the way he said he does?"

"Yes, Karen. We can. And, we can do that because, as it stands now, Mickey and I are as human as you are, much the same way Jesus was both God and man all wrapped up in one nice and neat little package.

"However, though it was always possible for an angel to fall in love with a mortal, I’ve got to tell you, it’s never actually happened before. That means, you and Mickey are breaking new ground."

"Oh!" Karen sarcastically countered. "I can’t tell you how happy that makes me feel to hear you say that, Gabriella!

"So, tell me. What’s your Boss going to make of all of this? I mean, am I going to my eternal damnation because one of His angels has developed the hots for me?"

"Heaven’s no, Karen! How can you even think such a thing? Look, if Mickey loves you and you love him, it’s only because The Lord has allowed it to happened..."

A few minutes later, Gabriella yawned and then asked the obvious, if not quintessential question, "You do love him, don’t you, Karen?"

"Yes, Gabriella. Though I’m still suffering from a bad case of shell-shock stemming from all this angel business, I really think I do...

"But, I’m not all that sure what I should do now."

"Are you open to suggestions?"

"Sure... why not?"

"You ought to call him and just lay it all out for him."

"Okay..." Karen replied thoughtfully. "I think I’ll do that. I think I’ll call him later today and tell him that the two of us really need to talk."

"No!" Gabriella was emphatic. "I mean that you should call him ‘NOW’!

"That’s to say that you should finish breast feeding that baby of yours first. Then, right after you put Danielle to bed, you should march yourself back down to the living room and give Mickey a call and tell him exactly how you feel about him."

"You’re not seriously suggesting I do that tonight?"

"Oh, yes I am!"

"But, I’ll wake him up," Karen incredulously countered.

"So? I mean, you didn’t think twice about waking me up, now did you?"

 

+

 

 

Karen took Gabriella’s advice to heart. After returning Danielle to her crib, she went back downstairs to the living room and, picking up the phone, punched in Mickey’s number.

"Here’s the deal, Michael!" Karen began curtly. "You want to date? Okay! We’ll date! And, you can start off by taking Danielle and I to Mass this morning..."

 

+

 

 

While Karen was never completely comfortable with the notion that her beau was the angel-general of God’s Heavenly Host, the former Catholic priest soon realized that she did indeed love him.

While tidying up around the kitchen one weekday morning about three weeks later, Jean Miller sought to assuage her curiosity by asking her daughter a couple of questions.

"So, tell me, dear. How’s this thing going with you and Mickey? Excuse me. I’m sorry, Karen. I keep forget that you prefer Michael over Mickey."

"That’s okay, Mom. No apologies necessary. If you still want to call him Mickey, that’s perfectly fine with me...

"But, getting back to your question, Mom, I’d have to say that things are going pretty good."

"You really like him, don’t you, dear?"

"Yes, Mom. I do. I like him a lot."

"Well," Jean Miller was quick to offer her opinion, "there’s no getting around the fact that he likes you...

"So, dear, do you think he’s going to ask you to marry him?"

"I think that’s pretty much a given, Mom. The only question is exactly when he’ll get around to doing it..." Karen replied dreamily.

 

+

 

 

Two days later, with ring in hand, Michael popped the question. Giddily, Karen, feeling every bit the young woman that she had become, accepted. Whereupon hearing the news, Jean Miller and Gabriella stepped in and, without so much as a by your leave from Karen, began planning the former Catholic priest’s wedding for her.

 

+

 

 

Six weeks later, Karen, radiant in an understated, yet ever so elegant pearl white satin wedding gown, was escorted down the central aisle of St. Catherine’s Catholic Church on the arm of Gus Miller, her former friend and the man she had come to lovingly accept as her father. As father and daughter proudly passed out of the vestibule and began to make their stately way down the aisle, Karen hazarded a glanced over at the ornate oaken confessional were she - as Father Daniel Parker - had granted the former Karen Miller absolution for her sins.

For Karen, the poignant, to be almost palpable irony of the moment came close to overwhelming her. Back in the days when Karen had been the male Father Daniel Patrick Parker, he had served for many years as the pastor of St. Catherine’s. As pastor, he had officiated over the exchange of vows that lay at the heart of the Sacrament of Matrimony on more occasions than she could recall. And now, she was about to stand before a priest like she had once been and pledge her troth before God and man.

As giddily happy as she was, Karen was also keenly aware of the singular honor that she was being accorded. Not only was she marrying one of God’s foremost archangels, but standing up for her and Michael De Angelo were two other archangels. Gabriella had not only readily agreed, but had pretty much insisted on servicing as her Maid of Honor. And in like fashion, the Archangel Raphael, in his earthly persona as Ralph Christenson, was standing as Michael’s Best Man.

Then, to make the day even more of a special occasion than it already was, once the wedding Mass was over and Karen and Michael were man and wife, the whole wedding party reassembled in the Baptismal niche located just off St. Catherine’s vestibule. Though she had taken it upon herself to baptize her newborn shortly after giving birth to her, Karen thought it appropriate to incorporate Danielle’s formal baptism as an addendum to her own wedding ceremony. And, it should be noted that no baby ever had a pair of Godparents that were more capable of fulfilling their duties than little Danielle’s. Ralph, Michael’s Best Man and Gabriella, Karen’s Maid of Honor had graciously accepted the honor and obligations of becoming Danielle’s Godparents.

The reception was held at the local Knights of Columbus Hall. By Karen’s request, it was a simple affair, catered as it was by covered dishes provided through the goodwill of friends and family. But, though the reception was kept as casual as possible, a good time was had by all those in attendance.

Two factors determined the length of Karen and Michael’s honeymoon. The first was purely economic. The second was Danielle.

While she fully trusted her mother and father to look after Danielle, Karen was in no way comfortable with the notion of leaving her daughter for more than a couple of days. So, after a lot of discussion with all the parties involved, Karen and Mickey elected to take a short, three day honeymoon.

 

+

 

 

"Oh..." Karen weakly managed. "That was fantastic! Or, I guess I really should of said that you were fantastic!"

With a muted chuckle, Michael replied, "Well, as much as I like hearing you say that, why don’t we just say that we were fantastic and leave it at that...

"So, tell me. How’s it feel not being a virgin anymore?"

Snuggling up against that new husband of hers, Karen dreamily offered, "It feels wonderful...

"Trouble is, it’ll probably just grow back." Karen was clearly referring to that persnickety reccurring hymen of hers.

"Oh, no it won’t. I have it on good authority that this time that cherry of yours is going to stay popped."

"Oh! You do, do you?"

"Yes, my love. I most certainly do. But, just to be on the safe side, I guess it falls to me as your husband to keep that new little you-know-what of yours reamed out good and proper."

"Yeah... I guess it does, at that..."

 

+

 

 

The next morning, as Karen and that new husband of hers were having breakfast in their hotel’s restaurant, Michael grew serious and said, "Karen, there’s something I really think you ought to know about Danielle’s genetic makeup."

"Michael!" Karen wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer to the question she was asking. "Are you trying to tell me that you’re really Danielle’s father?"

"No! Not by any stretch of the imagination! Truth be told, last night was a first for me as it was for you!"

"Okay..." Karen continued uneasily. "So, if you’re not Danielle’s father, I take it that you know who is."

"Yes, Karen. I do."

"So, are you going to just leave me hanging in suspense here, or are you going tell me who my baby’s father is?"

"Oh, I have every intention of telling you. I mean, why else would I have brought the subject up to begin with if I wasn’t planning on telling you?"

"Okay. So, tell me already!"

"Well, as strange as this is going to sound, Karen, genetically speaking, you’re Danielle’s father as well as her mother.

"That’s to say that when God caused your sexual reassignment, He did a little finagling so to arrange for Danielle’s DNA to reflect both your present DNA and your previous DNA.

"In other words, were you to exhume Father Dan Patrick Parker’s body and run a DNA test on a sample of his remains, the results would clearly show that he is unquestionably Danielle’s father."

"That’s incredible!"

"Yes. Yes, it is. But, as incredible as it is, it’s nonetheless the truth..."

 

+

 

 

Two weeks after the wedding, Gabriella paid Karen a visit on her way home from work.

"So, what did your hubby think of that rather unusual wedding present you got him?"

"You mean that?" Karen bobbed her head in the general direction of the massive broadsword that hung prominently on one of the walls of the DeAngelo’s apartment. "Well, after he got finished laughing his ass off, he informed me that he really liked it a lot..."

Several minutes later, Gabriella changed the subject as she cheerfully inquired of Karen, "So tell me, kiddo. How’s it feel being an old married woman?"

"It feels wonderful, Gabriella. Absolutely wonderful.

"I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, but I’ve got to say that I’ve never been happier in all my life.

"I mean, as much as I liked being a priest, I love being a wife and a mother so much more.

"I mean, it’s so much more rewarding, it isn’t funny."

"So, I take it that Michael’s turning out to be a pretty fair husband."

"Oh, yeah! Frankly, I don’t think there’s ever been a better husband than Michael."

"Maybe not..." Gabriella had to agree. "But, I’d be willing to bet that if you had gotten married and had children instead of entering the priesthood like you did, you could have given that new husband of yours a real run for his money."

"You really think so?"

"Yes, Karen. I do."

"Well, it’s nice to hear you say something like that, Gabriella. But, you know as well as I do, Michael has a distinct advantage."

"True... but, nevertheless, I have no doubt that you would have not only been a good husband, but a really great father as well..."

A few minutes later, Karen changed the tact as she said, "You know something, Gabriella? You would make a pretty good mother yourself.

"Fact is, now that I think about it, you really ought ask The Big Guy to give you a dispensation so that you could go out and find yourself a man of your own."

"Funny you should say that, kiddo. Because, it appears like I already have."

"Really?"

"Yes! Really!"

"Who? Do I know him?"

"Oh, yeah... you know him, all right."

"It’s Ralph, isn’t it? You’re in love with Ralph!" Karen, unable to contain herself, gleefully exclaimed.

"Yes. You’re right. It’s Ralph, all right."

"Wow! That’s great! You and Ralph! And, I assume that Ralph loves you as much as you love him?"

"Yes... that would seem to be the case..."

Karen sarcastically continued on to add, "Well, if that isn’t a match made in Heaven then, I don’t know what is!"

"Tell me about it," a clearly disgruntled Gabriella returned in disgust.

"Hey! What gives? What’s wrong with your being in love?"

"Nothing! Everything! Oh, I don’t know... It’s so confusing..."

"That settles it. You’re in love, all right.

"So tell me, Gabriella. Just how and when did all this happen..."

 

+

 

 

Gabriella did just that. She told Karen how it had all started innocently enough at the wedding reception when she, as the Maid of Honor had danced with the Best Man.

"I don’t know what happened, Karen," Gabriella excitedly gushed. "But, when Ralph took me in his arms, something extraordinary occurred. I guess you could say that I began to see him in a different light.

"As well you know, the two of us have known one another for uncountable eons. But, though we have, I’ve got to tell you, kiddo, he has never had that kind of effect on me before. Nor, I should point out, have I on him.

"That’s to say that we’ve always had a very healthy platonic relationship prior to that wedding reception of yours."

"But," Karen sought clarification, "I take it that that’s all changed now."

"Yeah... you could say that..."

"Let me ask you a question."

"Sure... shoot..."

"Is this the first time the two of you have functioned as human beings?"

"No. We’ve both taken on human form on numerous occasions in the past."

"All right, then... let me ask you this, how many times have you operated as a human female?"

"Well, though I have upon rare occasions occupied the body of a woman, it’s not something that I’ve been called upon to do a whole lot."

"Okay," Karen said as she endeavored to quantify Gabriella’s statement in her own mind. "So, what you’re saying is, functioning as a woman is not something that comes naturally to you."

"No. It sure isn’t. Truth is, Karen, I really have to work at it."

"Well, if you do, it sure doesn’t show...

"All right. Let me ask you another question. On those occasions in the past where you had to function as a human female, did you have a lot of interaction with Raphel, when Raphel was functioning as a man?"

"No. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever had cause to interact with him a whole lot on those rare occasions when I was instructed to assume a woman’s persona to carry out an assignment."

"Well, there you have it!" Karen beamed.

"Have what?" a thoroughly perplexed Gabriella found herself forced to ask.

"Your answer, of course," Karen cryptically teased.

"What answer? What in world all you talking about, girl?"

"I’m talking about Ecclesiastes."

"Ecclesiastes!" a completely bamboozled Gabriella exclaimed. "What in the world does Ecclesiastes have to do anything?!"

"Think about it," Karen charged.

"Oh... I see where you’re going with this. There’s a time for this and a time for that. Right?"

"Yeah... there most certainly is. And, to my way of thinking, these feelings that you and Ralph have for one another are nothing more than God’s way of informing the two of you that this is a time for love."

"Do you really think so?"

"Oh, yeah! I most certainly do. Given all that you’ve told me, I think that this is God’s way of rewarding the two of you for everything you’ve done for Him.

"Besides, wouldn’t it be easier for the two of you to keep an eye out for me and Danielle were the two of you married?"

Gabriella, unable to find fault with Karen’s logic, found herself forced to agree. "Yes, I guess it would be, at that..."

 

+

 

 

Three months later, in a ceremony that was pretty much a carbon copy of Michael and Karen’s, Ralph and Gabriella became man and wife. Gus Miller, extremely flattered for having been asked, walked that ‘adopted’ daughter of his down the aisle of St. Catherine’s. Likewise, Jean Miller thoroughly enjoyed functioning in the role of the bride’s mother. Karen, on Gabriella’s insistence, was the Matron of Honor, while that new husband of hers stood as Ralph’s Best Man.

 

Postscript +

 

 

"Oh, my! Isn’t she precious?" an elderly, mid-eastern lady cheerfully beamed as she deftly maneuvered her cart into the checkout line behind Karen’s. "You must be very proud of her."

"Yes... yes, I am..." an extremely flattered Karen returned with a smile that bordered on beatific.

"And, well you should be, dear. She’s absolutely beautiful.

"Truth is, she reminds me a lot of my baby."

"Oh, so you had a little girl, too?"

"No. I had a little boy. But, there’s an inner something about your little Danielle that reminds me of my son."

Taken aback, a clearly startled and astonished Karen gasped and began to weakly stammer, "How? How in the world did you know that my baby’s name is Danielle?"

"Because, dear, I know a lot of things. And, I know that your little Danielle is destined to do great things. And, I can assure you, dear, you will be very proud of her achievements. As I was of my son’s, and as I will be of hers."

"Are you are who I think you are?" a shaken Karen questioned.

"I guess that all depends on who you think I am," the elderly woman chuckled as she kindly replied. "But, I’d like to be your friend, Karen. And, if you will allow me to, I’d like to part of Danielle’s life as well.

"Tell you what. After we’re finished here, how about we go next door and have a cup of coffee and a doughnut together. My treat.

"Oh! And, I guess I really should introduce myself. My name is Maria Lords. But, if you can find it in your heart to do so, I’d like you to just call me Aunt Mary..."

 

The End +

 

 

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