Bless Me Father
by Deane Christopher

 

Narcissist

 

One day, about five weeks after giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, the former Catholic priest got the second biggest surprise of her life. Stepping from the shower, Karen was rendered spellbound as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. A proper diet and a good exercise routine had worked wonders on her. A second, more thorough inspection, quickly informed Karen that she wasn’t just beautiful. She was absolutely gorgeous. So gorgeous in fact, that she could easily hold her own with any of Playboy’s stellar playmates and probably, make a good seventy five percent of them envious of just how her supple, shapely and down right sexy her perfectly proportioned hourglass figure was.

At that instant, as the dripping wet, slack jawed, Karen stood there in her parent’s bathroom, lecherously gawking at her own reflection, an unabashed narcissist was born.

Though Karen remained as yet oblivious to the fact, by God’s Hand, her psyche was even then undergoing an unobtrusive revamping of its’ sexuality. In the next several weeks, her sexual preferences would shift incrementally and she would make the fluid transition from being a self-avowed homosexual woman to being a bisexual woman.

God had a master plan in play. He desired for Karen’s new born baby to be nurtured by the loving and balanced guidance of both a mother and father. To achieve that end, God had interceded. He had shed His Grace on Karen at the very moment of little Danielle Patricia’s birth, there by initiating the subliminal process that would, in its’ fruition, make it possible for Karen to accept a certain, preordained male lover.

However, even though Karen was well on her way to becoming a functional bisexual, she was still under the sway of a far to long repressed male libido. And, by in large, so she would remain until God called her to her Heavenly Reward.

Standing there in her parents’ master bathroom, a thoroughly captivated Karen was quick to realize that her male libido was operating in overdrive. Reflexively, driven by the fervor of her primordial desires, Karen’s left hand shot to her right nipple as the middle finger of her right hand entered the crease of her womanhood and eagerly sought out the elusive nub of her clitoral protrusion.

 

+

 

 

In her former life as the male Daniel Patrick Parker, Karen had entered the cloistered life of the junior seminary at the tender age of fourteen. Though she - as the he that she had been - had been encouraged by his confessor/councilor to date girls during his summer vacations as a means by which he could put his calling to the priesthood to the test, Daniel had decided not to heed his confessor’s sage advice. Basically, liking girls the way he did, the young Daniel feared that his resolve would be unequal to the task of overcoming the temptation.

Abstinence and personal restraint was the key. Nancy Reagan’s anti-drug policy of ‘Just Say No’ was nothing new. For centuries, members of the priesthood practiced the policy of sexual abstinence. In fact, to harden their resolve to forego the pleasures of carnal intimacy, prior to ordination, those that desired to enter the priesthood took a Vow of Chastity. They promised God that they would remain celibate.

Many, many times over his years as an ordained priest, Father Dan had been hard pressed to keep that vow. A number of women saw a member of the clergy as the ultimate ‘Forbidden Fruit’ and therefore, a challenge to be plucked and plundered. While some women teased with harmless flirtations, others were deadly serious about bagging and bedding a priest. It feel to Father Dan to discern one from the other.

And, women were only half the equation.

While Daniel Patrick Parker was a priest, he was also a man. And, as a man, he was keenly aware that he possessed a very healthy, and at times, somewhat over-active male libido. He liked women. Truth be told, Father Dan liked women a lot. And, though he tried his best not to, he had a marked tendency to spend an inordinate amount of his idle time thinking about them. And, that fixation of his had lead Father Dan to seriously questioned his vocation to the priesthood every now and again.

To some extent, God had stepped in and resolved the issue of Father Dan’s vocational quandary. Though little Danielle Patricia Miller been in a fetal state at the time, she needed a personal savior to preserve her viability. The Original Karen Miller had been seriously contemplating having an abortion. Father Dan, upon becoming aware of that possibility while hearing the Original Karen’s confession, had beseeched God to intercede on the her baby’s behalf and in doing so, had offered himself to be used in any manner that God saw fit. Little did Father Dan realize at the time that God would take him up on his offer. More to the point. Little did Father Dan realize that God would step in and resolve the matter in the miraculously unorthodox manner He had.

Initially, the former Catholic priest found her new body to be more of a turn-off than a turn-on. Illicit drug and alcohol use, compiling in on the former owner’s catch as catch can, extremely non-nutritious eating habits had given Karen the unkempt looks of a waif. That is to say that, as Karen, Father Dan had found her new self to be anything but attractive. Karen thought she looked more like a somewhat effeminate prepubescent boy than the twenty year old young woman that God had turned her into.

It was Gabriella’s influence and patient tutelage that had turned Karen the Street Urchin into Karen the Young Lady. Starting with Karen’s hair and continuing on with lesson revolving around both the application of makeup and matters involved with feminine hygiene, Gabriella helped the former Catholic priest adjust to living life as the female she had become.

A nutritious diet in conjunction with a daily exercise routine also contributed to the ongoing the enhancements that were being enacted on Karen’s appearance. However, those improvements were being masked by the concurrent changes that were being wrought upon her body in order to accommodate the infant that was even then developing within her womb. Though people were constantly complimenting her on how wholesome and nice she looked, Karen held a vastly different opinion of her appearance. Contrary to what she was being told, Karen thought that she looked fat, frumpy and far to ungainly to ever be considered in anyway attractive.

 

+

 

 

"Oh!" Gabriella snickered. "So, I take it that we got off on ourselves today, did we?"

Having become accustomed to her friend’s uncanny psychic abilities, Karen did not think to respond with a cynically sounding , ‘And, just how the hell did you come up with that?’. Instead, Karen, keeping her voice low in hopes that her mother, who was out in the kitchen preparing dinner, wouldn’t pick on the exchange, nonchalantly acknowledged the fact that she had indeed gotten off on herself."

"And, I assume that we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves?"

Repositioning Little Danielle in her arms as she did so, a noticeable distraught and somewhat irked Karen tersely replied, "Yes! Yes, we did! We - Or, I should say I! - enjoyed it a lot!

"Now, before my mother catches wind of what we’re talking about, can we please drop the subject and talk about something else?"

"We could..." Gabriella teased. "But, we’re not going to.

"You see, Karen, I’m awful curious. And, I really want to know what precipitated that little me’in and me’in session of yours. And, I’m plan to keep after you until you fess up and tell me.

"So, I suggest you do so now and have done with it. Okay?"

"All right!" Karen was clearly miffed. "If you must know, when I got out the shower I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror."

"Oh! And, I take it that you liked what you saw?"

"Yes! Yes, I did. I liked what I saw a lot."

"Okay! So, what you’re saying is: you turned yourself on. Then, I guess, one thing more or less lead to another and you ended up playing a game of grabass with yourself."

"Yes!" Karen was incensed. "That’s pretty much what happened!

"Now, can we please drop it?"

 

+

 

 

During dinner that evening, Gabriella, after commenting to Karen’s mom on just how delicious everything was, continued on to say, "I don’t mean to be presumptuous, Aunt Jean. But, do you think I might prevail upon you to watch Danielle for a couple of hours this evening so that Karen and I can run over to the mall?"

"Sure, dear. I’d be happy to..."

 

+

 

 

"Okay, Gabriella! What gives? Could you please tell me just why we’re going to the mall?"

"Because, silly! Now that you’ve finally come to realize that you’ve got yourself one hell of a body there, I think it high time for you to start upgrading that rather limited wardrobe of yours..."

 

+

 

 

Though it took a good bit lot of coaxing and cajoling on her part, Gabriella eventually managed to talk Karen into accompanying her into a Victoria’s Secret Outlet.

Sheepishly, as she gazed about the store, Karen said, "I’m not so sure about this."

"Well, I am.

"Look, Karen! After everything you’ve been through, I think it’s high time you start pampering yourself a little."

A few minutes later, Gabriella had to laugh. "All right! So, I guess we’ve learned something here. You’re not into lacy, frilly things. So, what do you say we look at something in satin? I mean, you do like the feel of satin don’t you?"

Karen did like the feel of satin. Fact is: she thought she liked the feel of satin a little to much for her own good and told Gabriella as much.

"So, what’s wrong with that?" Gabriella impishly teased. "I mean, I don’t think being a little self-indulgent is going to hurt you. I mean, get real here, girl! There’s no way that you’re going to rot that precious soul of yours by simply wearing a satin bra and panty!"

"No!" Karen freely admit. "You’re right. It won’t.

"But, it could lead to temptation. And, temptation could lead to sin."

"Oh!" Gabriella sought clarification. "So, I take it that what you’re saying is: you’re still hung up on the masturbation business.

"Look, Karen! We’ve hashed this out before, but it looks like we need to hash it out again.

"As a man, didn’t your doctor encourage you masturbate as a means of safeguarding your health?"

"Yes! Yes, he did."

"Well, let me ask you a question. Isn’t your mental heath as important as your physical health?"

"Yes! Of course it is!" Karen was noticeably ill at ease with the subject matter; fearing that a salesgirl or another shopper might overhear what she and Gabriella were saying to one another.

"Okay! Let me ask you another question, girl. Hasn’t getting off on yourself helped you to relieve all the sexual tension involved with you and your being a guy with a girl’s body?"

"Well, of course it has! But..."

"There’s no ‘buts’ about it, Karen! Look! If playing a game of grabass with yourself helps you deal with you and your being a girl and all, what’s wrong that?

"I mean, it more or less goes without saying that since God chose you to be Danielle’s mother, He wants you to be the best mother that you can be. And, if that means you have to masturbate in order to maintain your sanity, I can’t envision Him gigging you for doing something that helps to keep that crotchety and, at times, perverted old male mind of yours on an even keel."

As much as she wanted to, Karen found herself at a loss to find fault with her girlfriend’s logic. What Gabriella had just told her made a lot of sense.

"Okay, Gabriella! You win! I’ll buy a set just to see if I like ‘em."

"Oh, you’ll like ‘em all right. Trust me. You’re going to love ‘em.

"And, you’re not buying them. I am."

"Oh, no you’re not. I’m not going to have you spending your money on me..."

In the end, Karen won the argument, but the lost the war. Gabriella eventually conceded and allowed Karen to buy the matching satin bra and panty ensemble she had selected. However, once Karen had completed her purchase, Gabriella handed the salesgirl another six of the satin bra and panty sets along with her new check cashing card.

"Oh, so you decided to pick up some for yourself too?"

"No." Gabrielle smirked as she coyly replied. "These aren’t for me. Since they’re on sale till the end of the week, I just thought I’d be nice and pick them up for this hardheaded friend of mine who takes perverse pleasure in giving me such a hard way to go all the time.

"I mean, you’d think by now that she get it through that thick skull of hers that I really do have her best interest at heart..."

 

+

 

 

Karen absolutely loved the feel of satin against her skin. She also loved how down right sexy she looked decked out in the pair of skin tight jeans that Gabriella had pretty much coerced her into purchasing. Fact is: Karen liked the way she looked in the jeans so much, two days later, she asked if Gabriella if she could see her way clear to stopping by the mall on her way home and picking her up two more pairs. Gabriella was more than happy to oblige.

"Hey, I picked you up something else when I stopped off to get those jeans for you."

"What? What’ya get me?" an intrigued Karen gleefully inquired.

"They were on sale so, I got you a pair of shoes.

"Here!" Gabriella said as she proffered Karen the bag. "How about trying them on to see if they fit you."

"Hey! What gives?" a clearly disgruntled Karen said upon opening the shoe box. "These shoes have heels."

"Yes. They do, don’t they. But, I’d say that they’re only about two and a half inches, so they shouldn’t be all that hard for you to handle.

"I mean, you did tell me that you like seeing girls in heels, didn’t you?"

"Yeah... but..."

"But, nothing!" Gabriella coquettishly countered. "Like it or not you’re a girl now. And, by your own admission, a narcissist one at that. So, I just figured that since you like to see women decked out in high heels, you might as well go for the gusto and starting wearing them yourself...

"Tell you what, kiddo. Once you get the hang of these, I’ll pick you up a pair of three inch heels. Likewise, once you feel comfortable with them, we’ll move you up to a pair of four inchers..."

 

+

 

 

Occasionally, when the rare opportunity for an introspective evaluation of her current situation presented itself, Karen would start off by asking herself the very same question she always asked herself. ‘Did she like being a girl?’ Her answer, as always was an emphatic and resounding ‘No!’ Though she had become quit accustomed to functioning as the female, had the former Catholic Priest had any say in the matter, prior to Danielle arrival, Karen would have jumped at the chance to be a man again.

However, Karen had to admit that there were certain aspects about being a woman that she absolutely loved.

For starters, as much as Karen had liked being a priest, she loved being a mother more. God, she realized, had gone the extra mile and provide her with a very healthy maternal instinct. As demanding as job as motherhood was, Karen found that even though she occasionally grumbled about it, she would not have had it any other way. As much as Danielle needed her, she needed Danielle. Danielle was her reason for living - her rock, as it where. And, she in turn was Danielle strength, at least for the near to immediate future.

Though it had thrown her for a loop initially, Karen had come to realize that being a sort of self-contained narcissist was as neat as it was handy. It was, to her way of thinking, eroticism carried to the nth degree.

Though she was always circumspect about it, least her mother catch her crassly playing with herself, Karen thoroughly enjoyed experimenting around with all those nifty erogenous zones that her new body had come equipped. She loved to tweak them. She loved to caress them. She loved to keep herself simmering just sigh of the event horizon of a full blown state of sexual arousal.

It became game for her. And, Karen, being the perfectionist that she was, soon began a grand master of it.

Knowing full well that she might have given in to the lure of situational ethics, Karen, after one hell of a lot of soul searching on her part, concluded that Gabriella was probably right about the masturbation business Aware of the fact that she had no recourse but to seek such sexual realize as a means by which she could maintain her tenuous grasp on sanity, Karen had come to believe that God would not look upon her actions with disfavor.

 

+

 

 

"Karen." Jean Miller said as she joined her daughter at the kitchen table. "I know I’ve told you this before, but I think it needs to be said again. Both your father and I are so very, very proud of you. Not only have you turned your life around, but you really are a fantastic mother."

"Thank you, mom." Karen was on the verge of getting choked up. "Hearing you say that really means I lot to me. And, I’ve got to tell you, I really appreciate all the help you and dad have given me..."

"While I don’t mean to probe, honey" Karen’s mom introduced a new topic, "what’s going on between you and Mickey?"

Guardedly, Karen replied, "Nothing that I know of, mom. I mean, he’s just a friend."

"Oh!" Jean Miller response clearly conveyed a sense of cryptic disbelief. "Are you sure that Mickey knows he’s just a friend? I mean, he drops by to see you almost everyday."

"That’s because he’s new to the area, mom. He hasn’t made a lot of friends yet."

"Well, he certainly isn’t going make many new ones hanging around here, now is he, dear?"

"No... I guess he isn’t....

"So, I take it that you’re saying that he has an ulterior motive for hanging around here, mom?"

"Yes. That would be my guess."

"So, am I to take it that what you’re not saying is: Mickey likes me? And, not just as a friend?"

"Yes. That would sure seem to me to be the obvious answer.

"The question is, dear: do you like him?"

Being as honest as she could be, the former Catholic priest thoughtfully replied, "I’m not really sure, mom...

"Well, honey, don’t you think you owe it to Mickey to find out?"

"Yes. You’re right, mom. I guess I do at that..."

 

 

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© 2001 by Deane Christopher. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.