Bless Me Father
by Deane Christopher

Edited by Steve Zink

 

3 – Revelations

Dropping the dishrag she was using into the sink’s soapy water, a clearly shaken Karen Miller frantically stammered, "Gabriella." Reaching over and turning off the hot water, the former Father Daniel Patrick Parker continued on to declare, "You and I really need to talk.

"Look. Why don’t you finish up drying that dish. Then, after you do that, why don’t you have a seat at the table while I fix the two of us a nice cup of herbal tea."

"But, what about the dishes?" a somewhat bemused Gabriella inquired. "Don’t you want to finish them up first?"

"No," Karen replied rather emphatically. "I’ll attend to them later. Right now though, given what you just said about your being psychic and me not being the girl I appear to be, I think it’s high time that the two of us had a little one on one with one another. Okay?"

+

 

A minute or so later, having placed a cup of cinnamon-apple tea down in front of Gabriella, Karen moved to take a seat directly across from her fellow house mate.

"Now," the former Catholic priest cheerfully urged, "what’s all this nonsense about you being psychic and my not being the girl I appear to be?"

"Well... for starters, girl, it’s not a lot of nonsense. I am psychic. That’s to say that I really can discern things about people."

"Oh, you can, can you?"

"Oh, yeah. I most certainly can. For example: I know that while you’ve got a girl’s body, the real you - the you that’s inside of you - isn’t a girl at all."

"Gabriella," keenly aware that her helper was right on the money, Karen sternly countered, "how in the world can you say such a thing?"

Returning to the root of what could easily develop into a circular argument, Gabriella simply replied, "Because, I’m psychic."

"So you say..."

"No," Gabriella vehemently protested. "I really am psychic, Karen."

"And, I suppose you can prove it?"

"I most certainty can."

Though she did so with a good deal of trepidation infesting her voice, a quizzically unnerved Karen felt compelled to ask, "And, just how are you going to do that?"

"By telling you things about yourself. And, not just things about your girl self. I can tell you things about your inner-self. Your male self. That’s to say that I can tell you things that you and only you would know about."

Intrigued, and knowing that it would be in her best interests to enlist Gabriella as an ally should her house mate’s assertions prove credible, Karen allowed the rather quirky nineteen year-old new-ager to proceed.

"At first," Gabriella began, "I thought the impressions of maleness I was receiving from you were simply due to some fairly recent past lives that you lived as a man.

"But then, the more I was around you, the more I realized that the impressions of your being male were way too strong to be caused by your having been a man in one or more of your past lives.

"I mean, take it from me, girl. I’ve never, ever encountered anyone like you before in my life.

"It’s like I told you before. You, girl, are a walkin’, talkin’ contradiction. You know, as in your inner-self is so sexually out of sync with your physical-self it isn’t funny. That’s to say that you’re giving off all kinds of mixed signals..."

Karen, knowing that it was in her best interest to do so, tactfully encouraged Gabriella to present her with some sort of tangible proof to back up the assertions that her spunky house mate was making.

"Well... when I look at you with my mind’s eye - my inner-eye! Or, if you will, my psychic eye! - I catch fleeting glimpses of a man with short cropped, steel gray hair. He - you! - looks to be, shall we say, somewhere in his mid-fifties. And, though I get a fleeting impression that he wears a multitude of colors every now and again doing whatever it is he does, the color that I have come to associate with him most is black. Black with a little white starched square something-or-other at the base of his - your! - neck.

"Fact is, Karen, though it’s pretty elusive, every now and again I catch a quick glimpse of this little white doodad thing-a-ma-jiggy out of the corner of my eye.

"There. I just caught a fleeting glimpse of it again.

"And, do you know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of one of those odd little do-jiggies that priests and some ministers wear as a collar.

"That’s it," Gabriella energetically exclaimed. "You were a priest, weren’t you? Your name was Don. Don... Don... Don.... Larker. Or, something that sounds an awful lot like Don Larker."

"Gabriella," Karen sternly snapped. "Can I trust you to keep a secret?"

Enthusiastically, Gabriella shot back, "I’m right, aren’t I? You were a priest, weren’t you?"

"Gabriella. I’m not about to confirm or deny anything until I have your word that whatever I’m about to tell you will remain our little secret. I want you to promise me that what I’m about to tell you will go no further."

Testily, Gabriella countered, "All right, all ready. I promise. I’ll be a good girl. I wouldn’t repeat anything you tell me. Okay?

"Besides, if I’m right about you having been a priest, not to mention a man, who the hell is ever going believe me?

"I mean, were I to run off and tell someone, it’s a cinch that they wouldn’t believe me. They’d probably think I nuts or something and pack my ass off to a loony bin somewhere..."

+

 

"Okay, Gabriella. I’m going to tell you. But first, before I do, I want you to swear to God that you won’t tell a soul?"

"All right, all ready! I promise you that I won’t tell a living soul. That’s to say that whatever in the hell this secret of yours is, you needn’t worry. It’ll be perfectly safe with me."

"Okay, then." Karen heaved a labored sigh in an effort to reinforce her resolve. "I don’t know how you did it, but you’re right. I was a man and a priest until just this past Sunday, when I woke up to find myself fitted out with this body..."

"I knew it," Gabriella gleefully exclaimed. "I just knew it."

"Please, Gabriella. Tone it down a little, will ya’? I mean, the last thing I want is for someone to come in here to find out what the ruckus is all about. As you can imagine, the last thing I want to do right now is to draw any undo attention to myself.

"So, please. Do me a favor. Try to keep a lid on it. Okay?"

Gabriella, aware that she had become somewhat boisterous, endeavored to comply with Karen’s request.

Continuing, Karen said, "First off, I’ve got to admit that you were right about your being psychic. And, just so you know, you were really, really close when it came to getting that old, male name of mine right. I mean to tell ya’. You were as close as close can be. You said my old name sounded something like Don Larker. And guess what. My old name was actually Dan Parker. Father Daniel Parker, to be specific..."

"See," Gabriella, flashing a self-satisfied smile as she did so, happily proclaimed. "I told you I was psychic."

"Yes... yes, you did...

"And, I must say, Gabriella. You sure have made a real believer out of me..."

+

 

"Okay. So tell me. How’d it happened? How did you - a guy - end up with a girl’s body?"

"Simply put, God did it," Karen returned flatly.

"No shit?"

"No shit."

"So, why do you think that God did this to you?"

"Well... to make a long story short, He did this to me in order to save the baby with which I now find myself to be pregnant.

"You see, Gabriella, the girl whose body this used to belong to was seriously considering having an abortion. So, when I found out, I was so upset that I prayed to God and beseeched Him to intervene on the baby’s behalf. And, though He did it in a most unusual and innovative way, He did exactly what I asked Him to do. And, I guess you could say that in a rather convoluted manner of speaking, I’m the end result. God, in His infinite and, at times, inscrutable wisdom, answered my prayers by putting the ball in my court and thereby making me the instrument of His divine mercy...

"In my former life as a priest, I often irreverently remarked that as far as I was concerned, God has a sense of humor. And when you consider things like the Great Flood, Sodom and Gomorra and even the Plagues of Egypt, you could say that He has a pretty warped sense of humor, at that. But, this time, I’d have to say that God’s joke is on me. Given the way things have worked out, it’s rather obvious that He wasn’t about to let me of the hook this time out. In this twisted turn of events that’s straight out of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone, I’d have to say that God went and put the onus for this baby’s future squarely on my shoulders..."

+

 

"So, what do think happened to the real Karen Miller?"

"I’m sorry to say that I have absolutely no idea. But, my guess is, she’s now occupying my former body. Much the way I am hers."

"That sounds reasonable...

"So, have you tried to find her? Or, him? Or, whomever..."

"No.

"I probably should have... but, I’m sorry to say that I haven’t as yet...

"Truth is, Gabriella, I’m having such a hard time trying to contend with everything that’s happened to me that I just haven’t given any thought to poor Karen or her problems.

"I mean, I know that I probably should be concerned about her. And, I probably should have gone out and tried to locate her. But, the truth is, I just haven’t had the time or, for that matter, the inclination. Frankly, I’ve been too self-absorbed trying to contend with my own problems right now to give any thought to her and what she has to be going through.

"Look! I’ve got to be honest with you, Gabriella! This girl shit has really got me down!

"I mean, I’ve got so much to learn and so much catching up to do it isn’t funny.

"The problem is, I don’t know the first thing about being a girl. For the life of me, try as I might, I can’t seem to do anything with this unruly new head of hair of mine.

"Truth be told, Gabriella, I have half a mind to get it all hacked off."

"No. Please!" Gabriella frantically exclaimed. "I implore you, Karen. Don’t you ever do something as foolish as that."

"And just why shouldn’t I get it all cut off?"

"Because, Karen, even though it’s a tangled mess right now, you’ve really got such lovely hair. And, it would be a real shame were you to get it all cut off."

"But, I haven’t a clue as to how to take care of it."

"You can learn, can’t you?"

"Yeah... I guess so..."

"All right, then. Tell you what, girl. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about being a girl if you return the favor by teaching me all about this God of yours."

"Tell you what. You’ve got yourself a deal. You teach me everything I need to learn to be able to function as a girl and I’ll teach you about all God. And, your first lesson is, He’s not just my God. He’s your God as well as everybody else’s God. Okay?"

+

 

Later that evening, as Gabriella was diligently endeavoring to get the worst of the tangles out of Karen’s tresses, Karen broached the subject of religion as she said, "Gabriella, are you really sure you want me to tell you all about God?"

"Oh, yeah. I’m sure. I mean, if He could do something as stupendous as what He did to you, then I think that it more or less behooves me to get my ass in gear and learn something about Him."

"Okay, then. How about we start off by using the Kiss Approach? And, that’s Kiss. As in: keep it simple, stupid.

"Basically, when it comes to God and doing the things that He wants us - His children - to do in order to gain salvation for our immortal souls, all you or anyone else has to do is to strive to do what His Son, Jesus instructed us to do. That’s to say that we are to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

"And, that’s pretty much it in a nut shell, Gabriella. All He wants us to do is to love Him and follow the Golden Rule.

"I mean, as far as I’m concerned, everything else in the Bible - both New Testament and Old - equates to nothing more than just a lot of piling on.

"Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s all nice stuff to know. Because in one way or another, it all pretty much reinforces the love God and love thy neighbor business that Jesus spoke about. And, though I don’t think it’s really necessary, I would encourage you to read through it all when you have some time on your hands.

"But basically, if you just live your life by those two precepts that Jesus talked about, guess what, girl? You’re doing everything you need to do in order to secure a place in Heaven for yourself..."

"Sounds easy."

"Yeah... and, it certainly can be. Trouble is, we all have God’s gift of free will. And, because we do, living life the way God wants us to can sometimes become a real uphill battle."

+

 

The extremely well regimented life she had lived as the former Father Daniel Parker put Karen in good stead to absorb Gabriella’s lessons. Though she looked upon it as a thoroughly irksome and irritating task, Karen diligently applied herself to mastering what was for her the ignominious art form of putting on makeup. While it was true that her initial forays into the rather daunting field of cosmetics netted some pretty outlandish results, Karen, adopting the ‘If At First You Don’t Succeed Try, Try Again Credo’, managed to improve and refine her application techniques. In fact, Karen got so good at it she eventually reached a point where some of her fellow residents at the halfway house where actually seeking her out in order to have her do their faces, and help them with the restyling of their hair before the month was out.

Though her pregnancy would serve to pretty much mask the substantial changes that were being gradually wrought upon that new and ever so feminine body of hers, Karen, though she knew it not, was in the process of transforming herself into a truly beautiful and engaging young woman. Her much improved diet was doing wonders to address those sullen looks of hers. Daily walks in a nearby park with Gabriella and a low-impact exercise routine that had been suggested by one of the clinic’s gynecological nurses were also helping to further improve Karen’s physique. Though she paid scant attention to it, her legs, hips and derriere were beginning to form up nicely.

Gabriella, Karen was quick to realize, was a real godsend. She proved to be a great and patient teacher, a compassionate shoulder to cry on, and the truest of true friends. Were it not for Gabriella, Karen seriously doubted that she could have made the transition into womanhood. The two of them quickly became inseparable, causing some of their house mates to speculate that the two of them might well be lesbians.

Truth be told, there were times when Karen, spurred on by that manly libido of hers, was half-tempted to put a move on Gabriella. Often, she would find herself fantasizing about what it would be like to engage in a sexual tête-à-tête with that new girlfriend of hers. However, though she found herself hard pressed to do so, Karen always found the wherewithal to restrain herself.

+

 

"Gabriella..." Karen began tentatively as they crossed the street and entered the park. "I have a little confession to make."

"You do, do ya?"

"Yes... I’m sorry to say that I do."

"Okay, then..." Gabriella encouraged. "What’s up?"

"Well, even though the last thing in the world I want to do is to jeopardize our friendship, I’ve got to be up front and honest with you," Karen agonized.

"All right, Karen. Go ahead. Say whatever it is you have to say to me, and let’s get done with it."

"Well... the truth of the matter is, I love you, Gabriella."

"Well, that’s certainly a nice thing to hear. Because, girl, I happen to love you, as well."

"No. You don’t understand!" Karen heatedly objected.

"I don’t?"

"No! No, you don’t!

"You see, when I said that I loved you just now, what I should have said was, I love you the way a man loves a woman. That’s to say that I’ve got a bad case of the ‘hots’ for you!"

"Okay... so, what’s the problem?"

"Gabriella. Did you just hear what I said?"

"Of course I did, you ninny. You said that you love me the way a man loves a woman, didn’t you?"

"Yes. And, that doesn’t bother you?"

"Bother me? No. Not at all...

"Truth be told, I find it all very, very flattering. And, there’s a big part of me that truly wishes that I could reciprocate and feel the same way about you that you do about me.

"But, as much as I would like to, I can’t and I don’t.

Stopping and manfully turning Karen about to face her, Gabriella continued on to say, "But, I do love you, Karen. In fact, I love you more than you will ever know. And, believe me. I only want the best for both you and that unborn baby of yours.

"I’m sorry that I can only offer you my friendship. But, I promise that if you that you will except my friendship, I will be here for you always.

"So, come on, Karen. Give me one of those great big bear hugs of yours, girl, so we can get back to getting on with our walk..."

+

 

Oddly enough, Karen’s testament of a manly love for Gabriella did not infringe on their relationship one iota. Fact is, in the days immediately following Karen’s revelation, their friendship actually ascended to a higher plane. It both deepened and broadened. It became even more intimate than it already was. Gabriella, in an effort on her part to assuage any fears that Karen might yet harbor, seemed to go out of her way to make it blatantly obvious that when it came to their relationship, it was a secure as secure as could be. Repeatedly, Gabriella reassured Karen that their friendship was the most important thing in the world to her, and that she looked upon Karen as the sister she never had.

Though it took some really serious soul searching on Karen’s part, the former Catholic priest reconciled herself to the fact that her love for Gabriella would, out of necessity, have to remain of the unrequited variety. Their friendship was by far a too precious a thing to risk.

As an ordained follower of Christ, Karen had, by choice, lived a chaste life. That is to say that Karen was no stranger to sexual abstinence. She, as the he that she had been, had practiced sexual abstinence his whole adult life. Fact is, he had not even masturbated until a doctor had prudently advised him that if he wished to avoid future problems with his prostate gland, he had best take the matter in hand and see to the draining of that sperm reservoir of his on a regular ongoing basis. Random nocturnal emissions, as the doctor had gone on to informed him, were incapable of doing an adequate job when it came to expunging the required amounts of sperm in order to keep that former male body of hers healthy.

Though it had taken one hell of a lot of soul searching at the time, Father Dan had reconciled himself to doing as the doctor had admonished him to do. The rational he had used was that if one’s body was nothing more than the Tabernacle of the Soul and that we had all been charged by God with the upkeep of said Tabernacle, Father Dan had no recourse but to do as the doctor had instructed. If one looked upon masturbation in much the same light as one looked upon maintaining a healthy diet and a moderate exercise routine, one could easily reconcile themselves to the fact that by masturbating on a regular basis, they were complying with God’s mandate to keep their soul’s earthly repository in tip top shape.

Karen was in a quandary, wondering if she could perhaps employ the same sort of convoluted logic to address the needs of her present mental state. And, if she did, would God look askance upon her actions?

The very last thing in the world Karen wanted to do was to tick-off the Big Guy. If she was going make it as a woman and a mother, she knew that she definitely needed God in her corner.

+

 

Having just traversed the little stream that meandered its way through the heart of the park via a set of well placed stepping stones, a somewhat distraught Karen Miller sought her girlfriend’s advice as she tentatively intoned, "Gabriella..."

"Finally," her girlfriend jubilantly exclaimed.

"Well, now that you’ve finally got around to asking, the answer is, yes. You should do it. And, you should do it tonight."

"I should do what tonight?"

"You should get off on yourself."

"How the hell did you know I was going ask you about that?"

"Because, girl. As I keep telling you. I’m psychic."

"Yeah... silly me keeps forgetting about that. So, you really think I ought to?"

"You’re darn tootin’ I do.

"I mean, if you don’t do something soon, you’re apt to go off the deep end."

I mean, here you are - a girl with a man’s mind. Who, I might add, just happens to be just a wee bit pregnant and therefore, as hormonal as all get out.

"And then, on top of all of that, you - you poor thing - are so in love-lust with me it isn’t funny.

"I’ll grant you that you’re being a real good girl about it. That’s to say that you really are behaving yourself and doing everything you can to mind those P’s & Q’s of yours whenever we’re together.

"But, though you are, it’s pretty apparent that it’s all starting to really get to you. You know, as in it sure as hell appears like it’s driving you right up the wall, isn’t’ it?"

"Yes..." Karen found herself forced into the unenviable position where she had no recourse but to reluctantly agree with Gabriella’s assertions. "Yes, it is."

"Well... before you go postal and do something stupid - something you’ll end up regretting - I strongly suggest that you take the time to attend to what needs attending. All right?

"Look. I’ll tell you what we’re going to do. Since it’s only the two of us occupying our bedroom at present, I think it would be a good idea for you to head up to bed early tonight. That way, you can tickle that new fancy of yours to your heart’s content, and thereby get your rocks off.

"As for me, I’ll just stay downstairs for a while and occupy myself by reading a book or watching television or something..."

A few minutes later, a still troubled Karen returned to the subject of masturbation. "Look, Gabriella. While I really do appreciate your more than generous offer, I’m not really sure if it’s a good idea for me to be doing something like that."

"You mean, because God might not like it?"

"Yeah... I guess I’m kind of worried that were I to do something as crass as playing a game of grabass with myself, The Big Guy might not take to kindly to it..."

"All right... I understand where you’re coming from, Karen. But, let me ask you a question..."

"All right. Ask away."

"When you were a man, did you masturbate?"

"Yes... yes, I did."

"Why?"

"Because, my doctor told me that it was a good idea for me to do so."

"And, why did he tell you that?"

"Well, as I recall, he said that I should masturbate as a means to help avoid the possibility of future prostrate problems."

"Okay. So your doctor told you that you should masturbate to help avoid problems with your prostrate. Right?"

"Yeah... so what’s your point?"

"Well, if your doctor told you to masturbate to guard against a possible physical problem, I don’t think God - especially the kind of loving and compassionate God that you’ve been telling me about - would be too upset with you were you to get off on yourself in order to help you deal with the kind of mental problems that you seem to be contending with..."

+

 

Having caught all of The Letterman Show, Gabrielle headed upstairs and entered the bedroom she and Karen shared. There, upon the realization that her friend was still awake, Gabriella felt compelled to ask, "So, tell me, kiddo. Did you do it?"

With her voice couched slightly above that of a conspiratorial whisper, Karen sheepishly muttered, "Yes..."

"Did you enjoy it?"

A smidgen louder, Karen impishly replied, "Oh, yeah. I’d have to say that I enjoyed it a lot.

"In fact, I’ve got to admit that it was the most enjoyable thing I’ve ever experienced..."

"So tell me. Are you multi-orgasmic?"

"Oh, yeah... I’m as multi-orgasmic as all get out..."

"Good. I’m really glad to hear you say that, Karen..."

Fifteen minutes later, after her girlfriend had returned from one of the house’s two communal bathrooms, Karen soft intoned, "Gabriella?"

"Yes."

"I just want to thank you."

"For what?"

"For encouraging me to do what I did tonight..."

"Oh. In that case, you’re most certainly welcome.

"Now, while I know you’re feeling all warm, fuzzy and self-satisfied right now, how about you be a good little multi-orgasmic femlin and do me a big favor by trying to go to sleep?

"Remember, girl. You’ve got an eight o’clock appointment at the clinic tomorrow. And, if you still want me to accompany you, even if you don’t want to go to sleep right now, I do. So, what say we shut our traps and try to get some sleep? All right?"

+

 

"Karen," Gabriella said as her house mate sat down at the kitchen table the next morning. "I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but I’ve got some bad news for you. The paper says that they found your old body decomposing behind a row of dumpsters in an alley over on the lower east side. The article goes on to say that it appears that you - or, I should say, the former you - died from an apparent overdose of crack-cocaine..."

"Oh, that poor, poor girl..." Karen stammered. "I feel so, so sorry for her..."

"I know you do, Karen... I know you do...

"But, you can’t start blaming yourself. You didn’t do this to her. God did. And, if God did it, I’m sure that He did everything He could to help her make a fresh start."

"Do you really think so?"

"I sure do. Look. Think about it this way. He gave you me to help you get your feet on the ground.

"So, it stands to reason that He must have provided someone to help the old Karen out in her time of need."

"You really think so?"

"I most certainly do. Remember - as you keep telling me - God doesn’t give someone more than they can handle. I mean, while He might push them to their limit and make it one hell of an uphill battle for them to have to contend with, He never asks anyone for more than they are capable of handling.

"I mean, that is what you’ve been telling me, right?"

"Yeah..." Karen’s reply was tentatively given.

"And, you weren’t lying to me, were you?"

"No. I wasn’t lying to you..."

"Okay, then. If you weren’t lying, and God doesn’t ask more of us than we’re capable of, then it stands to reason that He must have provided an out for that poor girl who ended up in that old body of yours.

"Trouble is, for some reason or another, she didn’t avail herself of that out. It was her choice, and apparently she made the wrong one. It appears that she took the easy road. And, as sad as I am to have to say this, the easy road is what - in the end - led to her demise.

"I mean, unless there was some foul play involved, she’s the one that put that crap in her system.

"In other words, Karen, she and she alone is the one who is responsible for her own death.

"You had nothing to do with it. Your concern was and still is for that baby you’re carrying.

"I mean, when you asked God to intervene on that unborn baby of yours behalf, you had no idea that He’d ever go and do what He did, did you?"

"No... no, I didn’t."

"In other words, if there is anyone else who is responsible for the old Karen Miller’s death, it’s God. And, you can bet if God caused it to happen, He had one hell of a good reason for His doing so..."

 

+

 

Shortly after eight, Karen was instructed by one of the clinic’s nurses to go into Examination Room B, disrobe, and put on the flimsy hospital gown that she would find waiting for her there. Shortly before twelve, after an unprecedented three and a half hours of being poked, probed, peeked at and prodded, a once again street attired Karen reentered the waiting room.

"Hey," a concerned Gabriella inquired. "What gives? You were in there for an awful long time! I was starting to get really worried.

"I mean, is everything okay with you and baby?"

"Yeah..." Karen replied glumly. "Everything just peachy keen. They say the baby’s doing just fine."

"So, what about you? Are you fine, too?"

"Oh... you could say that I’m even better than fine."

"What do you mean?"

"My hymen - Gabriella - the doctors say it’s still intact."

"By hymen, I take it you mean your maidenhead?"

"Oh, yeah! And, as crazy as this is going to sound, mine shows no sign of ever having been broken! Hell! According to them, it shows no sign of even having been torn!

"Fact is, according to everyone who took a look-see - and, let me tell you! I do believe that everybody and his brother at one time or another stopped in that examination room to scope me out down there! - it appears that this new little you-know-what of mine has never been penetrated! In other words, according to them, it doesn’t appear that this body of mine has ever engaged in the act of intercourse with a man!"

"So, what you’re saying is, you’re still a virgin?"

"I am! They’re not!

"Before they sign off on something like that, they want to run some more tests first. That’s to say that they want to take one of those fiberoptic do-jiggies cameras of theirs and stick up inside of my you-know-what and take a closer look. And, if that and some other test they were talking about running on me prove to be inconclusive, they’re actually considering getting together a team of the nation’s top notch gynecologists to take a look at me before they go so far as to actually commit themselves to the virginity business..."

 

+

 

A little while later, as the two of them sat in a booth at a nearby McDonalds, Gabriella, feeling that her friend needed to talk, said, "This virginity thing has really gotten to you, hasn’t it, Karen?"

"Oh, yeah... it’s really got me spooked."

"How come?"

"Need I remind you of what happened the last time there was virgin birth?

"I mean, there’s no way in hell that I’m cut out to be involved in something as earth shattering as that.

"I mean, I’m am certainly no Mary Mother of God.

"Nor, would I want to be."

"How can you say that, Karen?

"I mean, you’re a good person, and for a girl who was once a guy - take it from me - you are going to be one great mom.

"And, I’m not just saying that to make you feel good about yourself. You know, as in I’m not trying to placate you. I said what I meant and meant what I said. Trust me. Knowing you as I do, I can tell you one thing. You, girl, are going to be a great mother.

"And remember, that’s coming from someone who’s psychic.

"In other words, I know things. And, the one thing I’m certain of is that you, young lady, are going to absolutely love being a mother."

"Yeah... but, what if this baby of mine really is the Second Coming of Christ?"

"Then, I would say that He’s lucky to have you as a mother, because you are going to do everything in your power and then some to raise Him right..."

"This can’t be happening..." a clearly shaken and disgruntled Karen muttered. "I mean, I’m not equipped to deal with something as stupendous as that."

"I disagree. But, you were probably right when you said that it can’t be happening...

"But, then again, wouldn’t it be something if it was..."

 

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