Birth Control?               By: Janet L. Stickney                JanetLynn17@Hotmail.com

 

My mom put my sister on birth control when she was 14, but after taking them for a while, they made her sick, and she quit taking them. Mom didn't want to hear about "sick" and just kept buying them, but Nancy kept stuffing them away. It was a no win situation for both of them, so I stayed out of it. It was only when I read the back of one of the packages that I realized they contained female hormones! Nancy and I had played dress up many times, and our parents had even seen me more than a few times as a girl, but what nobody knew was that I wanted to be a girl. Now I'm 13, and after searching the Internet, I knew exactly what would happen if a boy took hormones. That's when I casually asked Nancy if I could have her entire stash of pills, she gave them to me, and I started taking three a day. I couldn't find a thing about a guy taking birth control pills, if they would even work like I hoped, or even how many to take, so I guessed.

Weeks turned into months, and even taking three pills a day, nothing happened, which made me think that what I read was just a bunch of hooey, but I kept taking the pills anyway, hoping for the best while fearing the worst. Then it happened. I hit puberty. My breasts began to get tender and very sore for a week or so, then a small but definite mound began to appear, which then grew to a slightly larger size and began to push out against my clothes. Since I was still growing I didn't think much of it at first, ignoring the fact that my bottom was getting rounder and wider, chalking it off to my growth spurt. Then Nancy mentioned it, telling me that I was beginning to look like a girl!

My name is Matt, and I live with my parents and my sister, just your normal suburban family, except that I want to be a girl. I can't explain it, but I have always felt this way, but with Nancy helping me dress up, I was able to get some relief now and then. When she told me that I was starting to look like a girl, I was elated, but also, scared to death. My parents had never seemed to mind when I was dressed up before, but this was going to be different, a whole lot different, so I began to hide my attributes the best I could, wearing baggy clothes all of the time, but my breasts kept growing, and by the time I was 14 I had a small but fully developed bustline, and my jeans were always tight. I wouldn't dare wear a bra, and my boobs began hurt all of the time from the unrestrained bouncing, and once or twice, depending on how I moved, bent or whatever, my clothes would stretch over them, making my boobs clearly visible. Because there was no way that I could or would take gym classes, I was skipping them instead, which was eventually reported to my parents with a note telling them that I was going to fail unless they had a valid reason for my not being there. That's when it hit the fan…big time.

My dad was really into physical fitness, so when he found out that I was skipping gym, he literally dragged me into his office and demanded to know why I wasn't attending my gym classes. Between his glaring eyes and my fear, we deadlocked in a silent dance that I was going to lose, one way or another, and I knew it. Sitting there like that, knowing that I had to tell him something, did nothing for my self esteem, especially when mom came in and sat on the corner of the desk. Other than my gym classes, I was an all A student, so they were at a loss about my actions, and they both wanted to know what was going on. There was only one way out of the mess I was in, and knowing that I was going to die anyway, I simply gave up. Without a word, I stood up, pulled off my baggy sweater and tucked in my shirt, which clearly outlined my firm budding breasts.

"In your room" mom said instantly between her gritted teeth, "right now young man!"

Of course, I had to strip for her, and she could see what I had become. My hips were wider, my well rounded butt hung down a little, and my breasts stood straight out. Mom quickly grabbed her measuring tape and determined that I had a full A cup, with a 34-22-34 figure. I thought she was going to go ballistic, then, without a word, she went into Nancy's room, returning with a bra, which she helped me into. It was then that my growth became even more evident as the bra pulled everything up, making things firmer. With a withering look from mom, she handed me a blouse, told me to put it on, then she and I went back to dad's office. As we walked in and dad saw me, his eyes went wide, then mom laid it on him.

"It seems" mom said to him, "that our son has developed the body of a 14 year old girl, complete with breasts, wider hips, smooth skin and a narrow waist!" They demanded that I tell them how it happened, as if I was going to admit that I had been taking Nancy's birth control pills. I shrugged my shoulders, falling into the chair in front of the desk. "Well" mom went on, "No matter how this happened, he needs to wear a bra all of the time, but that won't be possible, that and attend school anyway, so, since Matt doesn't want to tell us how this came about, I have another solution." Dad and I both leaned forward…"Matt will just have to start dressing as a girl! He doesn't have a choice, now that he has…those!"

"But mom!" I cried, "I can't go to school dressed as a girl! The kids'll kill me!"

"Matthew, this did not just happen to you, you did something to make this happen, which means that you wanted it to happen, and it has! Honey" mom said, softening her voice, "you leave us no choice but to make sure that you stay healthy, and for girls your age, proper undergarments are essential! Don't you see that?"

Dad, quiet to that point, asked, "Are you going to tell us how you managed to corrupt your body? Or shall we make a guess?" I said nothing, hoping that I could protect Nancy, so at least one of us would be safe from their wrath. "Have you been the one taking Nancy's birth control pills?" My heart sank to its lowest depths when he said that, but I remained mum. "Helen, get Nancy down here now please?" When mom and Nancy came in, dad, in a very casual voice…"Nan, do you see anything different about Matt?"

"He's dressed up like a girl again, but we've all seen him do that before, no big deal dad."

"Take a closer look" dad told her, and when she saw the material straining across my breasts, her eyes went wide. "Yes,, you guessed it Nan, Matt has developed not only breasts, but the rest of his body is that of a girl his age! The question is, how did he do it, and the only conclusion we can come up with is that he took your birth control pills, which means that you had to be giving them to him! Do you have anything to say?"

"Those pills" Nancy almost yelled, "always made me sick! I told mom, but she didn't do anything, so I just quit taking them! Matt wanted them so I gave them to him! I didn't know what he was doing!"

Dad looked at mom who had a sour look on her face. "I guess" she said, "I should have paid more attention. Those same pills didn't bother me, and I thought you were faking it Nancy! I'm sorry."

"That fact remains" dad said, "that Matt probably cannot be expected to revert to his old self, but we will have the doctor check him out to make sure. In the mean time," then looking right at me, "I want you to go get changed. From this moment until we figure out what to do, you will be wearing skirts and dresses, both here, and at school if necessary. Since there is a valid medical reason for this…change, I'm sure that we can get you admitted to the school as a girl. The rest you'll have to handle on your own I'm afraid. It's the price you're going to pay for being so stupid."

Within the hour I was fully outfitted in panties, the bra, a skirt and a pullover top, my longish hair had been brushed out and a butterfly clip added. Mom had me use blusher and lipstick, the dashed on some perfume. The only thing I wore of my own were my gym shoes. Then she told me to go outside! I had never left the house when I was dressed, afraid of what my buddies would say, and it wasn't any different then, but mom held the door open, and I was ushered outside to face the world as Mary, the girl I had become. As I stepped outside my worst possible nightmare came true when Tom came riding into the driveway on his bike. At first he didn't know me, then I saw the look of recognition on his face.

"Holy Cow!" he said, "Why are you dressed like a girl?! You lose a bet or something?"

"Or something" I said, without going into detail.

Tom looked at me a bit oddly, then asked me if I wanted to go riding, so rather than stay at home and possibly have to face dad again, I took my bike, told mom where I was going, then Tom and I left. By the time we had got to the park, I had learned how to ride a bike in a skirt, and Tom had plenty of time to study me from the side, then, when we stopped…

"Those are real boobs, aren't they?" he asked, still not sure.

"Ummm yeah, but…"

"You mean that your turning into a girl?" He sounded strident that time.

I propped my bike against a tree, sat on the swing looking at Tom, wondering just how much I could tell him. Everyone was going to find out anyway, but Tom was my best friend, so…."Yeah, I guess, but mom says that I have to wear the "proper undergarments", which means that these…" I pointed at my boobs, "would stick out, so dad thought the best solution would be for me to dress like a girl, at least until they can figure out what's happening to me."

"Well," he said with a grin, "at least you got a nice pair!"

"Very funny" I said. I wasn't about to tell him it was all my idea.

Tom and I stayed at the park for a while, the rode back towards my house. He kept staring at me which was making me nervous, but he didn't say anything, and when we got to my house, he told me he would be by the next day after church. Church! I had forgotten all about it! If dad was going to make me dress like a girl, then everyone would find out, and it wasn't going to be on Monday, it would be the next day! I went in the house in a rush, only to be stopped by mom.

"Girls do not run like that Mary, so please learn to control yourself."

"Do I?" I asked, Have to go to church…in a dress?"

"Yes dear, you do. After you left, Nancy told me that you have been taking those pills for almost two years!" Taking my hand, we sat at the table. "That was some very long planning Mary. Taking those pills, knowing what they would do, then waiting until you began to change? You had this all planned out long ago! And just to make sure, I checked your computer, and guess what I found? A very long list of what would happen if boys your age took birth control pills, so don't lie to me, you wanted this to happen, and made sure that it would. Didn't you?" With each word I sank into the chair, my head almost to the table when mom took my chin in her hand and pulled up. "Tell me" she said softly.

"I always wanted to be a girl mom! When Nan and I played dress up it was like heaven! But I…never expected to grow so…"

"Quickly?' mom interjected. "We always knew that you liked dressing up as a girl honey, we just never expected you to do something so foolish! I'm not sure, but I'm willing to bet the doctor will tell us that what you have done cannot be undone, and that means that you'll be a girl forever! Is that what you want? To be a girl?" Nodding my head yes…"Well now it looks like you'll get your wish, and that means that you'll be wearing a very nice dress to church tomorrow, but why don't we spend a little time on your hair tonight? Maybe you'll feel better about it in the morning."

I went to my room to sulk I guess, then I saw my reflection in the mirror. My hands went to my breasts, and as I fondled myself I felt the nipples growing hard, and knew that I had been right all along. Only it was true when I said that I never expected it to happen so quickly, and only after being found out did I realize that I had been fooling myself. I went in Nancy's room. Looking at her dresses, then selected one that I liked, the white one with the little flowers on it. It went with my one and only purchase, some low, white heels. Nancy came in, and gave me some pantyhose, the earrings and necklace that she always wore with the dress, and I dragged them all back to my room, deciding that my only hope was to become the girl that I always wanted to be, which meant acting, talking, and so on, just like any other girl my age.

At the dinner table it was obvious that dad was still angry with me, but he didn't mention my status, and I chatted with Nancy about clothes I could use and so on, adding that I would have to get my own makeup kit soon, to which mom agreed. I thought dad was going to throw up when she said that, but with that thin top on, there was no doubt that I had boobs, and since I did, and because of his edict, would be dressing as a girl, a makeup kit among other things would be required. Mom told him just that, making it clear that she didn't like it either, but could not see any other way except to help me look presentable as a girl. In fact, right after dinner, that's where Nancy, mom and I went. To the mart to get me some panties of my own, plus bras, some makeup, and another pair of shoes. While we were out I felt as if I belonged there in that sea of lingerie, and reveled in the fact that I no longer had to skulk around peeking at things that I wanted, like some kind of pervert. Mom bought a few other things for me, like earrings, then we went home. Since it was getting late, mom and I went to my bathroom where she washed my hair, then set some rollers in place and gave me a nightgown to wear to bed. I lay there for a long time wondering what dad was going to do, since it wasn't like him to just take things, and I was certain that my troubles with him were just beginning, but I knew that I would have at least a few days before my premature death, so I planned on making the most of them, and fell asleep smiling at what I knew I had to do. It was an easy decision.

In the morning after I used the bath, I tucked away my now smaller manhood before I went in to get dressed. The pantyhose felt really good on my legs, and I loved the way they whisked up my legs, making them look longer and a lot more shapely. I did struggle with the bra, but managed to get the new one on, then opened the package that contained my new makeup. The foundation matched perfectly, and with a bit of green eye shadow and some tan highlighter, I used the liquid eyeliner on each eye, a black pencil under each one. Then I slipped the dress over my head and zipped it up before I stepped into my heels. Looking in the mirror was a real thrill, because I knew that I wasn't padded anywhere, and the dress fit me just as good as it used to fit Nancy. Mom came in when I called for her, and she brushed out my hair, using a curling iron to create a very feminine hairstyle, telling me that it looked "darling" on me. Then she left me to finish getting ready. Earrings, the necklace, some perfume of Nancy's, blusher, and finally, I pulled the gold cross of my own that I always wore from under the dress and let it lay between my breasts. With the pale red lipstick on, I took the white purse that had my things already in it, and went down to the kitchen.

Dad was pouring his coffee when I walked in, just the two of us there. He looked at me but didn't say anything, sitting at the table. I poured a juice, then sat across from him, waiting for the blast I was sure was coming.

"You look" he said softly, "very nice Mary."

"Thanks dad, you do too."

Is it true" he asked me, "what you told your mother yesterday? That you have always wanted to be a girl, and those dress up sessions were the only time you were happy?"

"Yeah" I said carefully.

"Just what was in your mind taking those pills, I'll never understand, never! But, there doesn't seem like there is anything I can do about it, not yet anyway, but just to make myself clear about this…change, you are grounded, not for this, but for lying, and not telling us when you were in trouble at school. You will attend school, just like I told you, as a girl, however your mother will go with you tomorrow and make sure they understand why. You are to come straight home, and not leave the yard unless we tell you that you can. Am I clear on this?"

"Yes sir."

He stared at me for a moment longer, then left me sitting there. If getting grounded was the worst thing to happen to me I would be happy as hell, but I knew that the worst would not come from dad, but the other kids in school, unless I could convince them that I was turning into a girl, and the best way to do that would be to let some of the girls see that I had breasts. A plan started to form in my mind, but everyone came into the kitchen, and I put aside any thoughts I had about proving myself. All that lay ahead was church, and more trouble.

In the car, mom took my hand and slipped a wrist length white glove on it, then the other, telling me that I should be properly dressed. I never saw any girls wearing gloves to church except in pictures, but there wasn't anything I could do about it and left them on. Then we were walking into the church, that bright airy cathedral lighting each face as they turned to see who was coming in. I saw Jill and her brother James, Heather and her folks, Seth and his mom, then I saw my grandparents. We didn't see them often, and when they turned and saw us, neither of them gave any sign that they recognized me for who I really was, but talk about my life crashing to a halt, seeing them only made it a sure bet. When we passed Jill she smiled at us, Heather stared for a moment, then I saw her eyes get wider, and I knew that she knew who I was, as did Seth.

The mass was the usual hour long affair, then, as we filed out, Seth grabbed me by the arm, slowing me down, but he walked out with me, and I saw Heather coming up fast. Standing with mom while dad talked to the minister…

"Matt?" Seth asked with wide eyes, "Is that you?"

"Her name" mom said, "is Mary, and yes, she used to be Matt. Something happened to her body chemistry, and she started to turn into a girl. Mary just didn't tell us until recently. We have decided that this is best for her, and we hope you do to."

"Does that mean" Heather asked, "that those are real?!"

I nodded my head yes, and with both of them looking at me, my Grandparents walked up. Mom told them my name, and while Grandpa seemed calm, Grandma's eyes went red, like lasers on overload, growing smaller and sharper even as her face went from smiles to grimace in an instant. Taking Grandma's arm, mom took her and Grandpa aside, leaving me with Seth and Heather.

"Your Grandma" Seth said, "doesn't seem to be happy with this…change…Mary."

Jill and James walked up, and after Heather told them who I was, Jill got all smiley while James merely looked me over from head to toe. It gave me the creeps, especially when I saw his eyes.

"So…" Jill asked, "does this mean that this is how you'll be dressing at school? I mean, if those…if you have the body of a girl, well almost anyway…"

"My parents" I told them as easily as I could manage, "said that it would be easier on me that way. Mom said that I shouldn't be flopp…that I have to wear the right undergarments. If I wore a bra under my normal clothes that would be just about the worst thing I can imagine, and as far as I'm concerned, I think mom was right when she told me that it would be better for me to dress this way."

"This ought to be good." James said, "When some of the guys find out who you really are they'll freak out! Especially if they hit on you!"

I looked over and saw mom telling my Grandparents what had happened, hoping the they simply told them I was turning into a girl, without the details. Everyone left except Nancy, and she was talking to a friend, leaving me alone to stand there waiting for whatever else to happen. That's when the ministers wife walked up, introducing herself and asking my name. When I told her, she looked around, saw my parents and Nancy, then made the connection. She choked back her first response, smiled again, and told me to have a nice day, then left! Nancy was at my side when our parents walked over, telling us it was time to go home. On the way…

"We told" dad told me, "your Grandparents that we discovered that you were turning into a girl, which is why you are dressed this way, but we didn't tell them that you took any pills, that's between us." Looking right at Nan, "right?" When he got a nod of her head, "so, they are coming over later. I do not want you, either of you, to mention those pills. As far as anyone else is concerned, this is a freak of nature and we will handle it. Until the doctor tells us what to do, we will not have Mary becoming some kind of oddball because of this. Okay?"

On the way home, dad stopped and let mom and I out in front of her beautyshop, telling us that he would be back to get us as soon as we called, then mom took me inside. The place was empty, only the aroma of shampoo and chemicals lingered in the air. Mom told me that all she wanted was to have my hair cut and styled in a way that would make it easier for me to do on my own, adding that since it might take a while to get through this, I might as well enjoy it. Besides, she told me, almost all girls my age know how to do their own hair. The woman that walked out was the size of a small car, round and short with dishwater blond hair, deep set eyes, and a pasty face. I was ready to run right out of the place when I saw her, but mom held me by the shoulder, and I was quickly sitting in her chair.

My hair was washed, trimmed a little, then set in rollers before I was placed under the dryer. As we waited for my hair to dry, she took my hands, sighed, then began to clean my nails, using a strong smelling chemical, then she filed them, using what looked like a sponge before she started adding a white paste to the top of my nails. Using an orange stick, and a thin paper form, she made my nails just a bit longer, then shaped and painted each one. While I sat there with my hands in a box with a blue light in it, she checked my hair. Then she and mom went to talk while I could do nothing but sit there. I liked the longer nails of course, but I wondered what she had done to my hair, and glancing at her, I certainly hoped she knew what she was doing, because just looking at her, it didn't look like it.

Mom stood by as the rollers were taken out, then, watching in the mirror, the woman created by far the best and most feminine hairstyle she could with my hair. I was very pleased with the way it looked, and said so, which made the woman smile. Then she used a small clipper to trim my eyebrows before she said she was done, adding that the soft perm would make it easier for me to do my own hair for quite a while! A perm? I had a perm? Without a word, mom paid her and we walked outside, only to stroll down the walk, passing several shops.

"Your father thinks," mom said, "that this will go away with some kind of magic pill from the doctor. But we both know better, don't we?" Looking at mom, I had no idea what she meant, which she picked up on. "What I mean is, you took those pills knowing it would change you, and you took them because you wanted to be a girl more than anything else in the world, which is what your father doesn't get." We stopped and sat down on a bench, then, "No matter what happens from now on, you'll always want to be a girl, and probably will succeed some day, but your father is one of the macho types, and he expected you to want to be like him, not me!" Taking my newly manicured hand in hers, she asked, "Tell me, do you like boys? Is that it?"

"You mean am I Gay? No, not like that, I only like being a girl mom! Guys just weren't part of it for me! I only wanted…the, right parts I guess! I always felt like a girl mom, and just look at me! I look better as a girl than I ever did as a guy, and we both know it!"

"Yes dear" she said to me softly, "I know what you mean, it's just that we have to find a way to tell your father without making him feel like he failed you. He really wanted you to be like him Mary, but that isn't possible now, and while he hasn't said it, he knows."

"He grounded me mom, forever I think. He said it had nothing to do with this, but the fact that I didn't tell you that I was having trouble! But I wasn't having trouble mom, I was turning into a girl, and didn't want anyone to know! I didn't think those pills would do this to me this fast, and I didn't have any other choice!"

"Well," mom said calmly, "I understand your reluctance to tell us that you were developing, especially since that's exactly what you wanted to have happen, but you have put us in an impossible situation! Surely you see that? Even if we can get you admitted back into the school, there are other issues, like using the restrooms for example. You may not think anything of it, and maybe not even the other students will, but what about the parents? Some of them are very narrow minded, and will make a determined effort to have you removed from the school unless we act first! Then there is the name you go by. Mary is not your real name, which means we may have to change it, just to get you into the school, then there will be other complications, like boys, and believe me, as soon as they forget about who you were, they'll be coming around. I can only imagine what your dad will do then!"

"It won't matter mom, I'm grounded for life, remember?"

She smiled, patted me on the knee, then called dad on her cell phone. He showed up a few minutes later, not saying a word when he saw my hair, and drove us straight home. I went to my room to change and found Nancy there, a pile of clothes in her hand. Shutting the door, she quietly told me that the clothes were ones that I could have for my own, but added that I could borrow anything I wanted if I needed it. Then she hugged me before she left. I changed into a short skirt and top, put on some ankle socks over my pantyhose then my gym shoes, and went to check my email.

I heard the front door open, and went to see who it was, running down the stairs, my skirt flying, my boobs bouncing and my hair drifting back, when I saw that it was Tom. He looked at me, smiled, more a grin really, then asked me if I could ride again. I had to tell him no, so we settled on sitting out on the patio. Mom said nothing as we raided the fridge for some pop, watching as we sat on the steps to the yard.

"You got a new haircut" he said, then noticed my nails.

"It'll be easier to take care of" I told him, "mom says that I should be able to get ready by myself, and this was the best way."

"Looks good on you. I like it Mary!"

"Thanks" I said.

We heard the door open, turned, and I saw that my Grandparents were standing there. Grandma looked a bit less like she was going to eat my carcass and spit out the bones, but she wasn't smiling either. Grandpa motioned for Tom to join him while Grandma sat next to me on the steps. When Tom was gone…

"Your mother told me that your turning into a girl. Is that right?" Nodding my head yes, "Well, I never heard of such a thing, and I'm beginning to wonder if this is all a big trick on us!"

By then I had had enough attitude from her, so I stood up, raised my top, bra and all, and let my babies stand there free and naked. After Grandma swallowed her tongue and I was all back together, I sat back down. "Satisfied?" I asked her in a sarcastic tone, "since you never once believed me before Grandma, I'm not surprised by your reactions, but mom? Dad? You didn't believe either of them? Why isn't that surprising?" Standing up, "I really don't care what you think Grandma, this is how I am, and like it or not we're all stuck with it!" I stomped off, going in the house only to see mom moving away from the window. As I passed her…"I told her what she could do with her holier than thou attitude mom. I'm going to my room!"

I was in my room about two minutes when mom came in and shut the door.

"Your Grandma is very confused right now Mary. Did you flash your breasts at her?"

"She said that we were all lying to her, so I proved her wrong! I don't care what she thinks of me mom, I am the girl I want to be, and she can take a hike if she doesn't like it, because I am not going to change things just to please her!"

"Your Grandma loves you Mary, its just that she doesn't understand!"

"What more can I do?" I cried, "she's not that blind!"

"Come back downstairs honey, she won't bite."

"I'm telling you right now," I said, "that if she starts in on me, I'm going to let her have it! She's just like dad, which must be where he gets it from, but I am a girl, and she's just going to have to accept it!"

I was saved by the bell, the doorbell. When we reached the foyer, Jill, James and Tom were there, Jill and Tom holding hands. I quickly told mom I would be outside, then went out, shutting the door behind myself. James stayed next to me as we walked around back. I was hoping that Grandma was gone, I didn't need any more of her nasty looks. Jill casually mentioned that she was having a party the next Saturday, and asked me if I wanted to come. Still grounded, I told her I would have to ask, but James grabbed my hand and told me that he hoped I could be there. I thought I saw Tom wince when James touched my hand, but let it go as an overactive imagination. A bit later dad walked out, obviously looking for me.

"Can Mary" Jill asked him "come to a party we're having at our house Next Saturday?"

"We'll see Jill. Right now I have to talk to Mary…alone please."

"That's okay, we have to go anyway. See you in school tomorrow Mary!" with a wave of the hand, they were gone.

Sitting down next to me…"We're not doing very well are we?" He asked me.

"Who's we?" I said.

"You and I. I am very disappointed in what you've done to yourself, I really expected you to be…

"More manly?" I asked sadly, "With a body like mine? You're joking, right? On my very best day I weighed a great big 118 pounds dad. I don't have, and never did have, the slightest trace of body hair, hell, I don't even have to shave! Some of the guys in my class have to shave every day, but not me!"

"That does not explain why you didn't just come tell me how you felt!"

"Oh yeah, I can see that happening dad, I can picture your reaction if I told you that I wanted to be a girl and wanted to start on hormones to give me the body I wanted! You would have gone ballistic and had me at your gym every night for hours on end trying to "make a man out of me"! I took his hand in mine. "Dad, I'm really better off as a girl, and you know it. Just look at me! I told mom before that I looked better as a girl than I ever did as a guy, and I'm right!"

"Perhaps" he said, "but just the same…" He stopped, looked at me, then, "your Grandma is angry as all get out Mary, and after you flashed her she won't even talk to me about your situation!" He drew in a deep breath, let it all out, then began to chuckle. "That must have been some sight Mary, flashing your Grandmother that way, I'll bet the look on her face was priceless!"

"Grandma thought we were all pulling a trick on her, and she was mad at me, so I told her to take a hike dad. I can't fight everyone, especially her. It's going to be bad enough when I got to school tomorrow, and I just don't need her crap!"

"Okay" he said, "I overreacted, but right now, we have to find a way to become a family again. All of this tension is making everyone edgy, and obviously, you feel as if you did the right thing. So, I will take you to school in the morning and straighten things out for you. I'll even change your name if the doctor confirms what we think is true. But, you cannot go anywhere except school until you see the doctor and he says it's okay."

"Can I go to Jill's party?" I asked hopefully.

"We'll see. Can we start over again?"

I leapt up and hugged him hard. That was the first time in my entire life that dad actually said that maybe, he might possibly have been wrong. I let him go and we went in the house together. Nancy was waiting for me when I walked in, grabbing my hand and taking me to her bedroom. She wanted" as she never had, to see me, naked she said. So, with the door firmly shut and locked, I undressed until I was standing there in my panties. "Damn" was all she said, then, as I got dressed again, she noticed my nails, so I told her what that woman had done, and what mom said. Nancy and I were always close, but now it seemed that we were even closer, something that I really enjoyed. She was everything I wanted to be.

The next day mom got me up early, and after a quick shower, I got dressed in a skirt and blouse first, then changed my mind and put on the pale blue dress with the flower print. I did my makeup, and as I pulled the brush through my hair, it popped back into place! Pantyhose, shoes and lipstick, then I grabbed my purse, book bag and left the room. After a quick bite, dad and I went to the school for what I was sure would be a confrontation just short of a war.

Our Principal was a woman that knew, without any doubt, that there were two kinds of people, men and women, and had a very hard time with those that did not seem to fit her standard, like Greg. He wore more makeup that she did, including lipstick, and always wore black. Then of course there was Lydia. She cut her hair so short that it was almost a crew cut, and insisted on wearing the shortest skirts she could find, but always with a flannel shirt. Spiked hair, tight jeans, short skirts always made her crazy, yet she was forbidden by the school board to try and change things, being told "we were just like that when we were in school, remember the no bra look?" The President of the school board said that to her during an assembly when she inadvertently screwed up and went after Greg. Since then what the kids wore became more outrageous, going right up to but not crossing the line that would get them expelled. With all that in mind, and having been very careful to dress in what she would think of as proper, I had my hopes up, but still worried, just in case she was having a bad morning.

Dad and I walked in together, flowing into the stream of kids hustling to classes. Most ignored me, some smiled, some said hi. When we walked into the office dad immediately asked to see the Principal, and we were ushered into her office. Sitting behind her desk I could see that she was wearing one of her severe suits, and casually wondered if her corset was to tight, based on the way she looked.

"Can I help you" she asked dad.

"Yes, that's why we're here. There has been a development within our family that affected our son Matt."

"Yes, I know you!" she said with a smile, "you filled in as a coach two years ago didn't you?"

"I was glad that I was able to help." Dad told her, "but the reason we're here is that Matt has undergone some dramatic changes in his physical being, and we need your help to make sure that he can still attend school here."

"Of course! Anything to help, and if I can I would be happy to do it. Where is Matt by the way?" she asked, even as her eyes settled on me. Then she got it. "This…this girl is Matt?"

"Well, yes. Matt has developed the body of a girl his own age, so rather than have him subjected to ridicule because of his...attributes, we decided that it would be better for everyone if he fit in better, and obviously, that means as a girl. He uses the name Mary by the way."

Everyone of her prejudices came into play, and as she looked me over I saw her eyes narrow, especially when she saw the way my blouse was pulling over my breasts. "I see" she said, "you want me to admit Matthew into the school, but as a girl, because of some alleged development?"

"Alleged?" Dad asked her somewhat angrily. "I am not accustomed to being called a liar Madam, nor am I eager to have my son dressing as a girl! There simply wasn't any other way to allow him to attend school, without being ridiculed that is."

The Principal sat back in her chair, with a look on her face that told us she was confident that we were pulling a scam on her, and as we watched, she called the school nurse, and told her she wanted me examined. If the nurse confirms what you say, then of course I will admit her back into the school. She will have to follow the dress code of course, but if she dresses like she is today, I see no problems at all, and will assure you that she will be perfectly safe with us. However, if she is not developed as you say she is, then I will report this to the school board and let them take whatever action they deem necessary. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course" dad said just as the nurse came into the office. "Go with the nurse Mary, and do what she tells you to."

After a quick moment with the Principal, I followed the nurse to her office. Mrs. Kelly was about mom's age, and has three daughters of her own, one of which was in my class. I removed my blouse, skirt, and bra, then stood there as she made sure my breasts weren't stuck on, then with a sigh, told me to get dressed.

"I've heard of this happening before Mary, but this is the first case of it I have ever seen! I'll tell her that you are a girl in virtually every way, since it's obvious that you are. Now please get dressed and go back to the office."

After a short discussion with the nurse, I was issued a new ID card and told to return to my classes, except gym of course, but placed in a computer lab class instead. As I walked to my class I knew that no matter what happened in the office, the real test would be in the classroom, and as I walked in and sat down, everyone looked at me, and a few recognized me right away. I was okay until lunch, when some of the bully boys stopped at my table and began to harass me. James and Stan were sitting with me, but it was Seth, walking up behind them, that told them to take a hike. Since Seth was quite able in enforce his words, and refused to be bullied by a bunch of low life's, which they knew, they left.

I went to see the doctor on Tuesday, and after a very complete physical, announced that I was perfectly healthy, telling my parents and I that even if he prescribed massive amounts of testosterone to suppress my estrogen levels, he had serious doubts that I could ever return to my former self, and that's when it was decided that he would monitor my growth, handing a prescription for hormones to mom that would allow me to mature as any other girl would, stressing to us that in his opinion, it was the wisest course of action. Dad looked crushed, mom disheartened, but mom asked him if it was possible, short of surgery, to make me look like a girl…"down there". After some heated discussion, dad finally agreed. The doctor ushered them out, and had me lay on the table. Half an hour later I was allowed to sit up, and with one grasp of my hand, I knew that I no longer looked like a boy anywhere. As I got dressed he left to talk to my folks.

By the time we got home I was reveling in the fact that I no longer had to hide, I could join and participate in any function any other girl could, and after mom demanded, and I showed her what the doctor had done, and I could see it on her face, gave in to the obvious, but told me not to leave my room uncovered, as dad had no longer had any reason to see that part of me. Nancy wasn't in quite as much shock that I had it done, only that I looked "perfect" according to her.

Most kids didn't even bother to comment, just letting me attend school like everyone else, and using the girls restroom quit being an issue after I had to make an adjustment, and several girls saw my breasts. Everything was fine, and I became very adept at doing my own makeup and hair, getting dressed and so on. I never gave any thought at all about guys because they were never part of my dream, but as time went on and I became a part of the social scene, I found myself dressing a bit differently whenever I knew I would be at an event that certain guys would be at. I wasn't even aware of it until Marcie mentioned it, telling me that both Seth and James wanted to ask me out!

At this point details are unimportant. Only the fact that by the time summer rolled around I had matured, with the body that was almost womanly, and I no longer felt out of place, since I could, and did, attend many pajama parties with my friends, took swimming classes, joined the girls soccer team and so on. I never dated until that summer, and while dad always treated me fairly, I would catch him watching me now and then, that look of hopelessness on his face. No matter how I looked, I was still his son, and there wasn't any doubt that he wanted me back, as a boy that is. There was very little I could say to make him feel better, until James asked me out.

"You have a date?" he asked me.

"Dad" I said, "it's been almost seven months since I… since the started. I turned 15, which is when you let Nancy start dating, so…"

"It's not that" he said sadly, "it's just that…"

For the first time I went to him, sat on his lap, and put my arms around his neck. "Daddy" I said softly, "I've always been a girl, even when I was little only now it's true on the outside. I can't be who you want me to be daddy, but I can be your daughter, if you let me."

"But you…" he started to say.

"Yes, I am your daughter, but you never really accepted me as a girl, you only tolerated me. Now I want to be your daughter, just like Nancy."

"But I never…"

"Daddy, you always were pragmatic, so you accepted the obvious, but you always thought that I would become your son some day. It was all over your face every time you looked at me! But that isn't going to happen! All I want is for you to love me for the person I am, not the person I was or you want me to be!"

With a sigh he hugged me closer, not saying a word, and as our cheeks lay against each other, I could feel his tears on my face. We sat like that for what seemed like hours, then…

"You'll dress appropriately of course, and no…"

"Daddy!" I said with a grin, "I'm not that kind of girl!"

"Just what kind of girl are you Mary?"

"I'm your little girl, and always will be."

He let me go on my date, and while he struggled with it, our relationship grew closer, and his anxiousness about me began to fade away. Mom treated me just like Nancy the minute I looked like a girl all over, and was always there for me when I had questions about girl things. Dad never again questioned my judgment, except that one time when Seth wanted me to spend the night after a party, but he would have done that with Nancy, so I didn't worry about it. In my senior year dad gave me a ring he had made for me, a small diamond with our birthstones set one on each side. I knew, as did Nancy and mom, that it was his way of telling me he finally accepted me as his daughter. Our struggle, mine with how I felt, what I had done, and the resulting change in our lives, mom with her confusion about why a male would want to be a female, and Nancy coping with sharing her clothes and becoming a mentor to me. Dad's struggle was harder as he watched me turn into a girl, knowing that with every step I was turning my back on everything he deemed sacred, from his macho outlook on life to the idea that while we are all equal, men are just a tad bit more equal. Having to cede to the obvious was a tremendous strain on our relationship, and while he worked hard to make sure that I was safe, and never once abused me, it took all of his will power to finally accept me as his daughter. Then there were my Grandparents, dad's parents. Their initial dismay and nasty attitude finally grew less and less until they realized that I would not be a grandson ever again, and we reached an unstated truce of sorts.

Now at the age of 22, I can look back on those days without pain because I knew that I was right all along, but I can't gloat right now, dad is taking me to my graduation ceremony. He looked quite proud when we took those pictures, and the one of the two of us says it all. He loves me.

 

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© 2001 by Janet Stickney.  All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.