Being Passable

by Zoe Carlyle

  

I was never passable. This was something I had accepted. As much as I would have liked it to be otherwise, I just never had the type of face that could melt from male to female. It didn't matter what makeup tricks I used, or what type of wig I wore, I just couldn't pass. It does kind of suck sometimes, I would like to go shopping fully dressed, so that I could try on outfits at the store without feeling like everyone was staring at me, but it's also something I've dealt with, and I also have nothing keeping me from growing facial hair.

Despite the fact that I couldn't go out in public dressed as a girl, I still loved the clothes. I loved women's clothes. I loved everything about women's clothes. Guy's clothes are so boring. I mean, yeah sometimes it's cool to be tough and masculine, but come on, sometimes you just need to be soft, and.. well, girlish. And when you do that, you need an outfit to go with it. I had the outfits.

But, due to my non-passability, I could only wear them in the comfort of my own room. I occasionally would venture out of my bedroom in a skirt and pantyhose when my parents and brother were away, but I'd usually hurry back into my room, fearing the front door would open and I would be trapped, a damsel in distress so to speak. But as hard as it was for me to hide my dressing at home when I had my own bedroom, It was paradise compared to when I first moved into a college dorm.

Suddenly, I had a roomate. Someone who slept in the same room as me, in a bed that sat at a right angle from mine. Sure, I had found a place in my room to hide a small stash of clothing, but I never seemed to get a long enough stretch of privacy to actually put the stuff on. Brent, my roomate, was never guarenteed to be gone for any long period of time, and I was terrified of him walking in on me just as I was buttoning my pleated skirt around my waist.

So you can imagine how excited I was the night Brent got tickets to go see a concert on campus, and I knew he would be gone at least 3 hours because he wanted to see all the bands. It would give me roughly 2 hours of pure-crossdressed bliss, giving me enough of a window on both sides to get everything put away before he came back.

20 minutes after Brent left, I pulled my little brown suitcase out from between my bed and the wall. I slowly looked through the items I had brought to school with me to see what would have the honor of christening the dorm room. I decided against a pair of tight black clubbing pants because I was sick of wearing pants for the last 3 weeks, as well as my long black skirt, because I wasn't in the mood for a conservative look, I wanted to be light and airy.

I instead settled on the aforementioned pleated skirt. It was a blue skirt with green plaid lines, I had a white, semi-sheer button up blouse that I wore over a black midriff tank top. Since the overall look had a somewhat catholic schoolgirl look, I topped it off with a pair of knee-high stockings, and a pair of black shiny men's strappy shoes that were the closest things to Mary Janes I could find in men's 12 (another reason I couldn't pass)

I could barely hold in the excitement by the time I pulled on the last stocking and looked at myself in the mirror to button the middle buttons on my shirt, leaving the bottom open to show off my bare midriff, and enough on top to show off where my cleavage would be if I had breasts. I took a deep breath and looked at myself, head to toe. I posed for a bit, smiling at myself, in the clothes I belonged in.

I put on some Britney Spears music, which I only listened to when I was in girly-mode, and sat down on the couch to relax. I beleive being fully dressed in women's clothes is the greatest stress-releif system in the world. I never feel more relaxed. The problem here was, I got too relaxed.

 

"Steve, what the hell?!?" I didn't even hear the door open when Brent got back from the concert. I was too busy sleeping on the couch. I did hear of course, when his shocked voice exclaimed the previously transcribed quote. I forgot what was going on for a second, but as I opened my eyes and saw my outfit, I knew exactly what the issue was..

"Woah.. Brent.. I can explain.. um... you see.." I tried to think of an excuse.. I racked my brain trying to think of what possible explanation I could give. Halloween was too far off, Brent knew I hated Frats and so I couldn't use rushing as an excuse. I drew a blank. So I went with the truth "I'm a crossdresser"

"Well no shit.. I can see that..." He had a look on his face.. I was sort of releaved by it, because it looked more like suprise than revulsion. Suddenly I felt kind of bad for not just coming clean to him before. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, mirroring the same thoughts.

"I don't know.. I guess I was worried you'd freak out"

He went to the mini-fridge and handed me one of the beers we had managed to sneak in, as well as popping one open for himself, before sitting down on the couch. "well, I guess I can understand that, I mean.. we've known each other 3 weeks, and if I had freaked out, it would be a very uncomfortable living space for the rest of the year. "

"Exactly.."

"But now that I know, and you know I'm not freaking out.. feel free to wear whatever it is you want in here.. its ok with me."

"thanks.."

He smiled a bit, "well, why don't you model your outfit for me?" I looked at him kind of oddly, but decided he was being pretty on the level, and trying to understand this new aspect of my personality he discovered, so I stood up and playfully teased the bottom of my skirt, and posed a bit for him. I turned the Britney music up again and danced around to "baby one more time" which seemed fitting based on my outfit.

When the song stopped, I did a little curtsey. He eyeballed me up and down and then said "Well now I know why you shave your legs...." which, when added to the sexy little dance I had just done for him, made me start laughing, suddenly I lost my balance and fell towards the couch and right into Brent's arms.

Both of us laughed for a second, and then it got very quiet. We looked into each other's eyes, and I think both of us were wondering not only why didn't the other move, but why didn't we ourselves move. then finally Brent said to me. "you know, I've always had a thing for schoolgirl outfits." It got quiet again, and I looked deep into his eyes, and I could feel both our bodies leaning together, untill our lips pressed against each oither's in a kiss.

We kissed for a few seconds and then Brent pulled away. I didn't know what to say, I think he was scared. I know I was. But we kissed again. and again. It started out slow, but soon we were kissing each other over and over, madly. We moved up off the couch and were in each others arms. I felt myself wrap my stocking-clad legs around him as he pressed my back against the wall for support. It was then that I felt his stiff cock pressed against mine. he started running his hands up under my skirt and rubbing my ass. He kissed my neck as I nibbled on his ear and the next thing I knew we were on his bed, and he was pulling a condom out of his sock drawer.

I unbuckled his pants and pulled his dick out. I pulled off my white cotton panties and continued to kiss his neck as unwrapped the condom, and placed it into my hand, which I used to roll it over him. He took two fingers and got a bit of lotion from the same drawer, and began to finger my asshole, spreading the lotion around my virgin hole, to prepare it for what was next.

I slid my back against the wall and felt Brent pull my legs up onto his shoulders. He and I both took a deep breath, before he leaned down to kiss me, and as he did, I felt him slowly enter my ass, gently and smoothly. I tightened at first, but finally loosened up as he eased into me. The fact that he continued to kiss me the whole time made it a lot more bearable. Slowly he slid himself back and forth, and I thrusted my hips as well, the tip of his penis rubbing against my prostate made my whole body quiver.

"I'm coming" Brent whispered as he continued to thrust. I didn't get a chance to say the same as the rubbing of his cock on my male g-spot made me explode in ecstacy. I had never had such a strong orgasm in all my life, and it was all from the internal stimulation. I screamed loudly "I came too" Brent said, before kissing me again and pulling out. He rolled off of me and we both stared at the ceiling, catching our breath.

I looked down at myself, Somewhere in our passion, my overshirt shirt had come off. . I could see that my blank tank would need replacing, and Brent's chest was in need of a good shower.. but for now I was thankful to see that my favorite skirt had not been soiled as a result of my orgasm, as at some point Brent must have unbuttoned it, and it found it's place to the floor. Though we both needed to clean the aftermath off, for now we just found each others arms.

"have you ever had made love to another boy before?" I asked Brent

"I still haven't" He said, as he spooned against me. Those words still mean something to me to this day. when i thought about it, I understood. We had not fucked as two boys, with one in a skirt. When we made love that night, I was making love as a girl. It didn't matter that I didn't have the right facial structutre, or that my feet were too big. At that moment when I fell into his arms, Brent saw into my soul, and saw the sexy girl trying to get out.

And lying there, in Brent's arms that night, was when I finally felt passable.

  

  

  

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