To my readers,

This story started off as a book I was writing in the hopes of getting published. I've put that ambition on the back burner and instead I've decided to release the story to the Internet. There will be more of the story to come.

As always, you feedback is important to me. The lack of it tells me a lot too. If you like this story, please take a few moments to send email telling me that. My email address is: barnold@ralabs.com.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters in this story are fictional, and any resemblance to anyone else living or dead is probably a coincidence. Please notify me if you are archiving this and the other chapters of the story on a web site. Permission specifically granted to Sapphire’s Place and Crystal’s Story Site to archive this. If you intend to publish this story in magazine or book (paper or electronic) format, please contact me for arrangements. Additional information on this story may be found at: http://www.ralabs.com/zapped/ .

 

Before My Time

by Bob Arnold
© 2002 - All Rights Reserved

 

Chapter 1

 

I didn't ask for the life I lead now, it was thrust upon me. I've come to accept the change although it's taken quite a while to get used to the "new me". I think I've adapted rather well. I wasn't always the pretty twenty-one year old woman that everyone sees in my publicity photos.

I was born in 1953 as Robert Bayer Thompson in a quiet little village in upstate New York. The place really isn't important other than I called it home for almost thirty years of my life. Don't go looking for any record of me. You'll probably have a hard time finding them. The village hospital where I was born closed in the late sixties. God only knows where all of the records wound up.

I had a normal childhood and grew up happily like any other kid of the time. That happy time was rather short though. At fourteen, puberty hit changing everything. I shot up from just under four feet tall to over six and a half feet tall in just a year and a half. My weight shot up to around 350 pounds and the muscles on my body developed with alarming speed. I wasn't fat, far from it. I was just built very solidly with loads of muscle and bone. By age 16 I towered over my father and mother. I took up weight lifting in high school and could lift quite a bit more than my own weight without much effort.

It's a shame my mind wasn't a total match for my body. I had absolutely no interest in sports other than weight lifting, no interest in hunting or most of the other "manly arts" things and little need to prove who I was by fighting with every other male. Instead, I turned inward and developed an interest in electronics and amateur radio, literature and music. I much preferred reading a good book or appreciating classical music to watching two teams of men bashing each others brains out on a football field just for the sake of moving a little oval shaped ball a few yards one way or the other.

I was interested in women but sadly they didn't seen to be interested in me. My size and appearance was rather intimidating by the time I graduated from high school. I never got the chance to go to the senior graduation dance. I just couldn’t get a date. I did have the usual high school crush on a couple of the young women in my graduating class but they only had eyes for the jocks on the football team. I learned a few years later that they both had married their high school sweethearts. Both had also undergone rather nasty divorce proceedings a few years after they married. I often wondered if things would have been any different if either of them had married me instead. I wouldn't even try to find that out now. It wouldn't look good for my career.

When I graduated, I went to work for a local electronics store as the service shop person and salesman. I did everything in the store from stocking the shelves to crawling up under the dashboards in cars to install sound systems. With my size it was no easy task, it was just part of the job. I worked there for nearly ten years then tragedy entered my life.

In 1981 both my parents were killed in a car crash with a drunk driver. The drunk walked away with barely a scratch. The accident that claimed both of my parents was his third incident of driving while drunk. The first two resulted in injuries to the people in the other car. He was tried and convicted of Driving While Intoxicated and sent away to prison for five years. The court ordered his home and possessions be confiscated and sold and the money given to me as a settlement. It turned out the he was an investment banker with considerable holdings. Altogether, it totaled up to just over five million dollars.

I would have gladly traded every penny of it to have my mom and dad back again but that simply wasn't possible. Since I was the only child I sold the family house and moved into a huge log home I had built in the hills south of Syracuse. I withdrew from the world for a year and just puttered around the house working on my amateur radio station and reading. Except for the weekly trips into town for supplies, I rarely left the house. I didn't take good care of myself and soon developed a heavy beard and moustache. The beard, moustache and my size gave me a rough "biker" look. I kept them when I found fewer people bothered me that way. Hardly anyone even spoke to me and at the time that didn't upset me at all.

After a year of self-imposed exile I got tired of my isolation and went back to work. Even though I didn't have to work, I decided I wanted to keep myself busy. I found a job with a place that contracted to do sound systems for the road tours of major bands. I became a "roadie", a person sent with the crews to handle the sound equipment and load and unload the trucks. Each show used several tractor-trailer loads full of gear the exact number depending on the band and venue. My size and strength earned me the nickname of "Bear" with the crews. The name had stuck with me since school.

I worked my way up through the ranks until, in 1997, I was foreman for one of the crews. The foreman was responsible for every aspect of the on the road operation of his crew right down to hiring and firing people for the crew. With my crew, my word was law and the owner of the company backed me up on it. My next step up was to become assistant to the owner of the company in a few more weeks. My life took a very different path one night at a concert in Chicago.

The company had contracted to provide sound systems and stage services for the tour of a young teen rock star during her swing through the northeast. The Chicago stop was about as far to the west as we were going to go on this trip. My crew had been on the road for almost two months zigzagging around the northeast to cover her various play dates. We had almost a week between stops on her tour. Since it took a day to set up the stage and sound system and another day to tear down and pack up, we kept ourselves pretty busy. That left only three days for travel time. The two remaining days were a rehearsal and the actual performances. The route was carefully planned with those restrictions in mind. One of my duties as foreman for the crew was to help the star's people plan the tour play dates based on travel times and site availability. I had worked almost a month getting all of the details worked out to everyone's satisfaction.

The star was Antoinette Baker although she preferred to be called Toni. For someone just seventeen years old she had come quite far since her days on a Chicago kids television show. She was discovered from a casting call with students at a local grade school. That plus a few successful performances in the local community theater group got her noticed in Hollywood. That lead to a small but key role on a network television show that launched her music career. She was mainly into her music now but still had requests from time to time for television appearances.

This was her summertime tour. In a few more weeks, she had to go back to school for her senior year. While she was out on tour, she traveled by bus from site to site arriving a few days ahead of the road crew. That gave her time to make public appearances and radio and television interviews in each location before the show. There was time for a single rehearsal before each show. The shows were usually on a Saturday with an afternoon and an evening performance.

My crew made it into Chicago on time and had things all set in the sports arena in time for the Friday night practice session. That went well except that Toni and her sound mixer got into a real argument during the session. I cringed at the loud discussion of his inability to get the sound exactly like she wanted it. It was mostly him yelling at her, nor her yelling at him.

Saturday arrived bright and clear. Just the weather to bring out the crowds for a sell-out of the afternoon performance. Most of the tickets were gone already. The few that were left were the expensive seats down near the stage. Even they would be gone well before the performance started. I greeted Joe Sampson, Toni's mixing person, as he walked over to the sound console.

"How are you doing this afternoon, Joe?"

"Fine so far, Bear. Everything running OK?"

"Yes. This place is a bit larger than any other site we've been in. There's quite a bit more echo in here. I think we have the delay units set to try to counteract that. We'll just have to listen to see if we got it right. Are you all set?"

"As set as I ever get. Toni keeps harping that the sound isn't right. I've tried everything I can to make it like she wants it but nothing has clicked with her so far. It's not your gear, Bear, it's her. You, your staff and your sound equipment are the best we've ever worked with."

"Sometimes making the star happy is difficult, Joe. Just keep trying."

"I swear that if she dumps on me one more time I'm walking out and going home. Let her get someone else to mix the concerts and her studio sessions. I'm getting to old for this crap."

Toni picked that moment to walk out on stage. "Joe?"

"I'm here, Toni." He raised his arm to wave so she could see us in the middle of the audience section. We always set up the mixing board where the audience was to hear what the crowd heard for the best mix.

"Can you please try again to get the mix better? It needs to be brighter and not so thin."

"Just what do you mean by brighter and not so thin? I've already tried everything I can think of to make it the way you want it."

"I don't know how to put it into words, Joe. It's just something I feel. Please try again OK?"

Joe just gritted his teeth and waved back at her. She turned back toward the rear of the stage as disappeared behind the curtain. In another ten minutes, the crowd started to come into the arena. The show would start in another hour. Joe just sat there grinding his teeth and muttering to himself until about ten minutes before show time.

"Bear, I'm sorry. I can't handle this any more. I'm nearly sixty years old and I have to bow and scrape to a seventeen year old bitch. I'm outta here, Bear. When you see her, tell her I quit. I'm getting my stuff out of the bus and I'm going home." He stood up, grabbed his briefcase and coat then walked out.

I shrugged as I watched him disappear in the crowd. Ten minutes before the first show and the sound mixer has walked out with no replacement around. I figured I could do no worse than Joe did so I moved over to the main chair at the console and proceeded to bring the system online for the show. I had done many shows before but never one for as popular a performer as Toni Baker.

Let's see. She said brighter and less thin. Joe tended to run his shows with an almost flat overall frequency response. For 'less thin' I set up some boost in the bass guitar and other instruments that played the low notes. It would put a little more sound energy into the air. If handled right you could just feel the rhythm of the low notes on your skin. I would know if my guesses were right if I got goose bumps as the first notes of the bass sounded. That was something I never felt when Joe was mixing. I also routed the bass guitar to an effects processor in the rack next to me and added a bit of chorus to it's overall sound. That would give it a bit 'chunkier' sound.

In the remaining few seconds before the announcer spoke, I cranked in some overall high boost to add some brightness to the sound. I figured I could fine tune things after the concert started. The band walked out on stage and got into place. A few seconds later the drummer did a four count with his sticks then the bass player started in. As I had hoped, a few seconds later I had a good case of goose bumps. I looked around to see the rest of the audience feeling the effects too.

The drummer and keyboard player got in a couple of measures then Toni appeared through a trap door in the back of the stage. A small elevator lifted her up even with the stage. As she started singing, a big smile appeared on her face as she heard the sound system in the arena.

The rest of the concert went off without a hitch anywhere in the performance. I even added a few special effects to some of her vocals, as it seemed appropriate. It was a good thing I had been at nine of her other concerts on this road trip. I knew each of her songs and could adjust the sound system on each of them for best effect on the audience.

As the last notes of the last song in her normal performance set echoed through the arena, the audience broke into thunderous applause. She walked back on stage and bowed then indicated to the band to start one last song as an encore. The audience again applauded wildly as the song finished. She bowed again and waved as she walked off the stage.

The crowd slowly filed out of the arena. I shut down the sound system and stayed with it until the last of the crowd was gone. I was making some notes in my planning book when I heard a small cough behind me. I turned around to see Toni Baker standing there.

"Hello, Miss Baker. Can I help you with something?"

"Yes, where did Joe go? I have to thank him for finally getting the sound I wanted."

"I'm sorry to tell you, Miss Baker, that Joe walked out ten minutes before the show started. He told me to tell you that he quit. Several other things were also mentioned but I don't use that kind of language normally."

"Please call me Toni. If Joe didn't do the sound then who did?"

"I did, Toni. "

"Well, Mister 'I did', what's your real name?"

"I'm Robert Thompson, the foreman for the stage and sound crew. I was here when Joe left and there wasn't time to find someone else. You liked my mix?"

"I did very much, Mr. Thompson. Since Joe has gone I’d like to invite you backstage for a buffet we always have between performances. Will you come?"

"I really should stay here with the equipment. Thanks for the offer though and please call me Bear, Toni."

"Bear? That’s an odd name."

"I got it back in school. My middle name is Bayer and the kids just started calling me Bear instead of Robert or Bob. It seems to have stuck with me over the years."

"You do look more than a little like an old grizzly bear." She looked at me intensely for a few seconds. Our eyes connected and I felt as if she was looking into my soul opening up all of my feelings and deepest secrets to her. "I’d say you were more of a teddy bear at heart. Won’t you please re-consider and come back for something to eat? I’ll even send someone out to watch the equipment. Please, Bear?"

I stood there for a few seconds then decided that she was probably not going to take no for an answer. I nodded and walked toward the stage. Toni fell in beside me and placed her arm around mine. We walked arm in arm to the backstage area where the buffet was set up.

I got the grand introduction to the performers. This was a new experience since on some shows the performers are more often than not a separate group from any hired help. As a member of the road crew and being a hired person too I normally didn’t feel it was appropriate to go to these types of gatherings.

I found out that even the dancers had noticed the change in the sound during the performance. I got many compliments on how well it sounded. I explained that I expected that Joe’s backup person would take over for the next show and thanked everyone for their compliments. Toni walked over to me a few minutes later.

"Bear?"

"Yes, Toni?"

"Bear, I want you to do the last show tonight. We really don’t have a backup person for Joe on this tour. Will you mix for me again?"

"Are you sure, Toni?"

"I’ve never been more sure of anything, Bear." She turned toward the crowd of performers around the buffet table. "Do the rest of you want Bear here to mix for us again tonight?" The general consensus was that I should be hired away from the sound company on the spot.

I sighed then turned to Toni. "I give in, Toni. I’ll mix again tonight but you’ll need to find another mixer for the next show in Syracuse. After this performance I’m giving up the road life. I’ve been doing it for much too long now and I need a break from it."

Toni’s face lit up in a big smile and she kissed me on the cheek and gave me a huge hug. I didn’t think anyone that small could hug the stuffing out of me but she did. "Thanks, Bear. Now come and eat a little more. We have another show ahead of us tonight. We all need the energy to get through it."

Over the next two hours I was made to feel a real part of the performing crew. We sat and talked about our various interests in the music world and how we all got started. The band was rather surprised to learn that I used to perform as lead vocalist in a small garage band in my youth. I stopped when I got into the technical aspects of the music business.

Show time quickly arrived and I headed back out into the arena to start up the sound system again. The arena was filling up quickly with people. Finally show time arrived as the arena lights dimmed.

Things went even better than the first show. Now that everyone on stage knew what was happening they seemed to throw themselves even more into the performance. I picked up on their excitement and added a few more tricks into the mix. By the time they got to the middle of the show everyone on stage was wearing the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen. The energy coming from Toni, the band and the other performers was incredible. You could almost feel the magic in the air.

The middle of the show always had a short "cool down" segment where the band and all of the other performers were introduced. It gave the dancers and the band a chance to have a little break and get some recognition from the audience. Only the performers on stage were normally introduced when they did these things. I got a big surprise at the end of their introductions when Toni came back on stage from a costume change. I opened up Toni’s wireless microphone as she walked back onto the stage.

"There’s someone out there I have to call special attention to tonight. You’ve been listening to his work all night and didn’t even know he was there. I'd like the people running the spotlights to turn them around and show everyone where he is. Let’s have a big round of applause for Robert "Bear" Thompson our sound mixer tonight!" The spots wound around the crowd finally settling on the mixing position in the audience. "I’m not letting you get off that easy Bear! Stand up and wave to the folks. Folks, Bear here was a last minute replacement when our normal mixing person wasn’t able to do the shows today. He’s done an incredible job for us. Please thank him!" The applause grew and I reluctantly stood up and waved to the crowd. Toni continued, "We’re going to try something different tonight. Bear, this song’s for you."

The band started to play and within a few notes I recognized the song as "Bobby’s Girl" by Marcie Blaine. Toni’s version was set to a driving rock beat. My hands danced over the console as I added a chorus effect to Toni’s voice and changed a few other things to match the sounds flowing into the console. I glanced over to be sure the CD recorder was still running and had lots of time left. I had changed the CD in it during a 30 second break at the start of the intro section. This would be one I wanted to save.

The song finished as the audience erupted into applause like I’ve never heard before. I suspected that Toni was going to have another hit on her hands when she finally got into a studio to put this one together. The rest of the performance went very much like the first half with all of the performers showing an incredible amount of energy. Once again, the feeling in the arena was almost mystical in nature. Toni and the band were having an incredible performance and the audience knew it and was feeding that back to the performers on stage.

As the last notes of the last song of the night faded into the background chatter from the crowd I sat back in the chair at the console almost totally drained. In all of my years of working performances I have never been through anything remotely like that performance. The only record of the performance was the two CDs I tucked away very carefully in my brief case.

I knew that I wouldn't see Toni again tonight since her normal practice was to go to her bus and depart for the next stop on the tour. I shut down the sound system then started to take things apart and re-pack the travel cases as the audience left the arena. While Toni would be heading out, I and my crew still had many more hours of work tonight to get things ready for the move to the next site. I would stay as much as I could here then catch a plane back to Syracuse to begin my new position as the assistant to the boss in another two weeks. Until then, I had some vacation time coming and I intended to make good use of it. After many years on the road, I found myself wishing for a quiet home life again. Doing the same thing year after year had taken its toll on me. I didn't mind the travel so much as the day to day grind of having to be responsible for a crew of thirty people and a dozen tractor-trailer loads of equipment.

I just finished tucking the last of the cables into the effects rack then snapped on the road cover when I heard a small cough behind me. I looked up and was surprised to see Toni standing there again.

"Thanks for mixing again tonight, Bear. I think that this show was the best one I’ve ever done. And that’s thanks to your mixing skills." She reached up and pulled me down to her level giving me a kiss on the cheek and a huge hug.

"Thanks, Toni. Hadn’t you better get moving to the next destination? You’re normally on the road by now."

"I wanted to make you an offer. Since Joe has decided to leave us, we have an open seat and bed on the bus. Syracuse is the next stop on the tour. Would you like to ride with us instead of in some noisy old tractor-trailer combination?"

I thought a few seconds then looked at the teenager standing before me. Our eyes connected for a few seconds. I felt something that I hadn't felt in many years, a very deep affection like someone feels for their family. Except I had none.

"Yes, I'll take you up on the offer. Syracuse is actually my home. I was supposed to fly back tomorrow for two weeks vacation then start my new position with the company. I think the ride back will help me to unwind a little better than flying. Let me tell the crew I'm leaving then I’ll get my things out of the truck."

"Great! Thanks again, Bear. You did a great job tonight. I wish you’d come to work for me though. I could use your talents on my records and concerts."

"I don’t know, Toni. Why would you want someone like me around anyway?"

"Your talent and your warm, gentle nature are good enough for me."

"Warm and gentle nature? I look like a mean, nasty biker dude. How do you know about my warm and gentle nature?"

"Your eyes. They’re a window to that wonderful soul inside you. All anyone has to do is look deep enough inside you to find the real you."

I blushed but I doubt that Toni saw it under my heavy beard. "Well, I'm making you late. Let's get moving." I collected my brief case and we walked back to the equipment staging area. I found my second in command and let him know I was leaving. We said goodbye and shook hands since I wouldn't be seeing the crew again any time soon. I got my bags out of the tractor cab and headed for the waiting bus.

It was quite some bus too. It was a full size passenger bus converted as a motor home. The front portion of the bus had a small combination kitchen and living room area. The last half of the bus was broken up into a few small bedrooms. Most had bunk beds but the last two had larger single beds. The bus started to pull out of the arena parking lot as we walked toward the back.

Toni stopped next to a door. "You're a rather large person. I don't think you'd be very comfortable in one of the bunk beds. My mom normally uses this room but she's back in Los Angeles at the moment. You can use it until we get to Syracuse, ok?"

"Thanks Toni. Let me stash my stuff and then I'd like to get a little tour of the rest of this palace on wheels."

"It is something isn’t it? I like traveling this way too. I know it's not the fastest way to travel but I feel much safer and I have a chance to slow down a little and see some of the country while we're rolling along."

I dumped the briefcase and suitcase on the bed in the room. "Me too. I could have been home in just a few hours by going by plane. Then I always need a couple of days to unwind from a road trip anyway. At least this time it will be a slower 'decompression' than normal."

Toni took me to the back of the bus to start the tour. "This is my bedroom. It's a little bigger then the others. I guess being the star has its privileges but I'd be just as happy with a smaller room and let everyone else have a bit more. I can't change the way the bus is configured because we only rent this one each time we go out."

"I'd have to agree, Toni. It probably costs less to rent it than to own it and have to do the maintenance on it before each trip."

"You've seen your room. Right in between the two is the rest room. I know it's sort of small but it's better than trying to find a place to stop in the middle of the night."

"Agreed. Nothing worse than having to go and not having anything other than a bush to go behind." Toni giggled at my comment and continued the tour.

"This of course is the living room and kitchen. There's bottled water in the fridge and lots of pop-in bag popcorn to use in the microwave. There's some quick fix frozen stuff in the little freezer in the fridge too. I like the sound system too. It sounds great for being on a bus."

"Toni, would you like to hear some of your concert tonight? We've routinely recorded the concert for your manager. I happen to have a set of CDs for the second show with me. Want me to get them?"

"Sure. It's always so hard to hear what things sound like when I'm on stage. I'm so nervous all of the time that I can't really enjoy performing."

"You don't look nervous up there." I went to get the CDs out of my brief case.

"Well I am. VERY NERVOUS!" I handed Toni the first CD. She put it in the player and turned up the sound system a bit as the concert started. "Oh my God, I have goose bumps!"

"I hoped that effect would be captured on the CD. It's so hard to get that to work on a home system."

She sat down on the couch and listed to the music. She motioned for me to sit down beside her. She listened until the CD stopped, a full hour at least. All the while she was giggling and moving her feet to the beat of the songs.

"That was great, Bear. I wish all of my music sounded that good."

"It could. It's all in the way it's done. I'm sure you'll find someone that can mix the way you like it."

"I think I already have. Will you mix my two Syracuse concerts? I want to hire you away from the sound company and have you mix all of my concerts and recording sessions like Joe used to."

"I don't know, Toni. I was planning on retiring from the road. I've been doing this kind of stuff for over 15 years now and I'm sort of burned out. Can I think about it overnight?"

"Well, since you aren't going anywhere except the same place I am I'll let you make up your mind. Will you at least consider mixing the Syracuse concerts for me? I'm not certain that I can get a replacement so soon."

"We'll talk about it in the morning. Now let's listen to the second CD." I handed the second CD to her and she swapped it for the one in the player. This was the second half of the concert. The music started again and Toni went back to enjoying her performance.

Somewhere as the second half of the show played I must have fallen asleep on the couch. I woke when the bus hit a small bump in the road. I found Toni snuggled up against me under a blanket over both of us. I looked over at the sleeping teenager wondering why she had decided to do this. She looked so peaceful that I decided not to disturb her. It just felt right to have her snuggled up against me. I put my arm around her and she snuggled as close as she could. I soon fell asleep again.

I woke again to find the bus had stopped at a small diner a few hundred miles east of Chicago. The first rays of sunlight for the day were streaming in the window. Toni was still snuggled up against me. I reached over and gently shook her until she woke up.

"Morning, Toni. Ummm…why did you do this?"

"You just looked so cute sleeping."

"Cute? I look like the world meanest biker dude and you call me cute!"

"I see the you inside as well as the you outside. I know you've cultivated the 'look' but it doesn't matter to me."

"Why? I scare most people off after a few minutes."

"Well you definitely don’t scare me. Let’s get something to eat. This should be one of my favorite truck stops on the way to Syracuse. They have the best breakfast menu in this part of the country."

"I need to change these clothes Toni. Give me about ten minutes to work the kinks out from sleeping here, ok?"

She looked down to see that she never changed out of her last stage outfit. "I need to change too. It would look sorta weird to walk in dressed in glitter and beads at this hour of the morning wouldn’t it?"

"In there it would look weird to walk in like at any time of day. See you in a few minutes." We both went to our bedrooms. I changed into my usual polo shirt and faded blue jeans and took a couple of minutes to comb my hair a bit and trim my beard.

Toni knocked on my door a few moments later. "Come on Bear. Time to eat. I’m hungry!"

"Coming!" I opened the door to see a short brown haired girl dressed in old jeans and a faded flannel shirt standing there. "A wig?"

"Sure. It lessens the chance I’ll be recognized. My natural red hair is somewhat unique you know. Now let’s go eat!"

I followed her out of the bus to the diner. She introduced me to the waitress and her bus driver. I must say that the food in the place was excellent. I found out that whenever she went through on her tours that she always stopped here. The owner and waitresses all knew her and welcomed her like she was part of the family. I got accepted into the family too.

We finished up breakfast and headed back for the bus. We spent the rest of the daylight hours slowly working our way eastward making periodic stops at various places of interest to Toni. Each time we stopped for a few hours, our driver, Andrea Johnson, had a chance to get some sleep. Toni explained that she always took the time whenever possible to enjoy life and see the country. We stopped at some of her favorite places including a small park for a picnic lunch and a small out of the way restaurant for supper. At the restaurant, the staff knew her from other stops and welcomed her back. Again, I was made to feel very welcome and had a wonderful supper in some very good company. I felt more that a little sorry when it came time to leave. We got back on the bus then talked for several hours in the living room area as the bus traveled eastward. Finally around 11 PM we decided to call it a night and get some sleep. We settled into our rooms this time and were soon asleep from the swaying motion of the bus.

Around 2 AM I had to make a bathroom trip. As I finished up and opened the bathroom door I heard soft sobbing coming from Toni’s room. I gently knocked on her door. "Toni? Is everything all right in there?"

"Come on in, Bear. The door isn’t locked."

I opened the door to see Toni setting up in her bed. Her eyes were all red and puffy from crying. "Why the tears, Toni?" She stared at me intensely for a few seconds then as our eyes connected I felt an incredible sadness fill my soul.

"Oh, Bear, I’m sorry. I didn’t want anyone to know about this."

"About what, Toni?"

She stared at me again for a few seconds. "You have to promise me that this will NEVER go any further, ok?"

"Toni, I’ve only known you personally for just over a day now but for some reason I feel like I’ve known you forever. I’ve started to think of you as the sister I never had. You can tell me anything and I’ll never breathe a word of it to any other living soul."

"Thanks, Bear. It’s my dad. In another few weeks he’ll be released from prison. You see he went crazy and hurt me and my mom very badly and killed my younger brother. I’m scared of what he’ll do when he gets out. He swore he would kill us. Mom has been trying to get the parole board to keep him locked up but the board feels that he’s changed. Mom feels that it’s all a cover to get out and get back at us and I agree with her."

"I haven’t seen anything about this in the news. Did this happen before you became famous?"

"It did. I feel so afraid, Bear. Afraid that he’ll hurt us and afraid of what it will do to my career. Things are going so good right now and I don’t want to have to give it up to go into hiding from him."

"You can always get a body guard."

"I’ve tried. They don’t understand the life of a teenager. They aren’t willing to put up with everything I go through. I don’t want to live like some china doll all packed away in a protective box until my dad does something and gets himself back in prison again."

"How many have you tried so far?"

"At least six. None of them wanted to stay more than a couple of weeks. What am I going to do Bear?"

"For the moment, nothing. Just take lots of deep breaths and try to relax. We’ll talk this over more in the morning before I leave for home." The sniffles slowly subsided and the look of worry faded from her face. I held her for at least an hour as the bus bumped along on the final leg of our journey to Syracuse.

"Are you all right now, Toni?"

"I think so. Bear. Thanks for putting up with me. I need a friend right now."

"I’m happy I was able to help. Let’s try to get back to sleep now though, ok?" I got up to leave.

"Umm…, Bear, please don’t go…"

"What?"

"Please stay a little longer. It felt great snuggled up against you last night. Can we do that again?"

"Just a minute." I returned to my room and grabbed my pillow and a blanket. "I’ll do it on two conditions, one is that we leave the door to your room open, two is that I stay above the sheets and blankets. That way there’s nothing that can happen. Agreed?"

"Agreed. Thanks, Bear! I have a real live teddy bear to hug the rest of the night now." She gently kissed me on the cheek as I climbed into bed and spread the blanket out over myself. She snuggled up beside me and we both fell asleep in moments.

When we woke up the sun was shining through the window in Toni’s bedroom and the bus was parked in a rest area along the Thruway. I turned toward Toni to see her smiling at me. "Good morning, Toni! Are you feeling better now?"

"Lots better thanks. With my big teddy bear to hug, all is right with my world again."

"Well let’s get up and see where we are and get something to eat. Sound good to you?"

"Sure. Meet up with you outside. Looks like another good day."

We got up and I headed for my bedroom to change into another polo shirt and old jeans. I used the restroom then knocked on Toni’s door to let her know I was done. I walked up to the front of the bus and found Andrea curled up on the couch sound asleep. I opened the door and stepped out into the cool morning air. Toni followed me a minute later.

"Looks like we’re at the rest stop near Elbridge just west of Syracuse. I’ve had breakfast at this place before. We’re better waiting and eating somewhere closer to the city. Is that ok with you, Toni?"

"I yield to the man who lives here. Where do you suggest , Bear?"

"I can think of one place but it will take a little while to get there. How about my house?"

"Really? How far are we out?"

‘About ninety minutes. I live south of the city in a huge log home on the side of a hill. I’d be happy to make you and Andrea breakfast. I just need to make a grocery run to pick up the food. I didn’t leave any perishables in the house because I was gone so long."

"You mean a real home cooked meal at a real kitchen table. Can we have real waffles?"

"If that’s what you want, yes. Interested?"

"Why are we still standing here talking when we could be moving?" Toni started pulling me toward the bus again. "Let’s wake up Andrea and get going!"

"Toni, let the poor woman sleep. I can handle this thing. My driver’s license covers something this big."

"Works for me. Let’s go!"

"Hold on there tiger. Let me take a quick look at the bus. I always inspect the vehicle before I drive it especially something this big. Safety first you know." I made a quick trip around the bus checking the tires and looking on the ground for fluid leaks. I couldn’t find any obvious problems so I got back on the bus and got comfortable in the driver’s seat. I got all strapped I then started the beast and let the engine warm up a bit. I checked all of the gages and found that Andrea must have filled the tanks before she decided to rest. I had the bus back on the highway in just a few minutes. Toni was strapped into the jump seat beside me.

A few minutes later a bleary eyed Andrea wandered up into the cab. "What are you doing here? I thought I was the driver!"

"And you still are. I thought that I’d spell you a while. I’m licensed to handle this beast. Just head back to a bunk bed and get some sleep. We’re headed to my place south of Syracuse where I’ll make you both breakfast. How’s that?"

"Thanks. Bear. It’s good to have someone to take over for a bit. Makes it much safer. Wake me when we’re there, ok?"

"Will do. If we’re stopped at a grocery store when you wake up we’ll be right back. I have to pick up some stuff cause there’s no food in the house. Now get some sleep!" Andrea patted me on the shoulder then disappeared into the back of the bus.

Toni and I chatted away the miles toward my home. I learned a lot about the spunky seventeen year old and the full story of how she got where she was. Only I got the real inside story, everything that you’ll never hear in the press and never will either. I also told her a lot about myself. Also things that I thought I’d never tell anyone else. It just felt right somehow to share my deepest secrets with this beautiful young lady. We felt closer to each other with each passing mile.

I stopped the bus at my favorite grocery store and went in with Toni to get enough groceries to do breakfast. We must have lugged out 6 or 7 bags full of stuff to the bus. The store staff recognized me since that’s where I usually shopped. If they recognized Toni in her baggy clothes and unruly hair I didn’t know. At least nobody said anything if they did. We got back on the bus and headed for my place in the hills. It was only another 15 minutes to get there.

I pulled the big bus into the long driveway that lead through a heavily wooded area to the house. It sat nestled in among the trees in a forest on the side of the hill. All of the utilities were buried underground so the only thing that showed was the house itself and a three car garage of similar construction off to one side of the house.

"This is incredible, Bear! The place is huge! You live here all alone?"

"Yes. I wish I had someone to share it with though. It’s lonely sometimes but I do like the peace and quiet. Let’s get these bags in and I’ll get breakfast started."

We unloaded the bus and put all of the bags in the kitchen. I opened a few windows and started the fans to move the stale air out of the house. Toni followed me around ohing and ahing at the size of the place. I saved the best room for last on the tour. We walked into a finished basement and down a short corridor to a door set in the wall. I opened the door and turned on the light. Toni’s eyes went wide at the sight of a complete recording studio.

"You have a studio, Bear? Why?"

"I’ve always had an interest in the work. I built this a few years ago just to play around. I’m afraid it’s not quite up to current standards but I can get some great sound with what I have here."

"Is this the reason you knew how to mix my concert sound?"

"Partly this and partly many years of doing that on the road. A good deal of what I did during the shows I learned right here first with local bands doing demo tapes. Want to hear one?"

"I’d love to but can we get breakfast first?" I heard her tummy growl then mine added is it’s own noises.

"I guess we’ve been outvoted by our stomachs. Let’s get back to the kitchen. We’ll come back here later."

We went to the kitchen and finished putting away the groceries. I got out my ancient waffle iron and mixed a batch of batter while Toni cooked some bacon. She put the bacon on some paper towels to soak up the grease. I put on the first waffle while Toni cooked a couple of eggs. I told her to go get Andrea and I’d watch the eggs. Moments later a drowsy Andrea followed Toni back to the kitchen.

"Set down Andrea. Breakfast is coming right up. Coffee , tea or OJ?"

"OJ please. And sunny side up on the eggs?"

"Got it. Toni, I’ll take my eggs sunny side up too please. I’ll have your waffle ready in a couple of minutes." I served up Adrea’s waffle and started Toni’s. Another few minutes passed. Toni’s waffle finished cooking then I started mine cooking. Toni jumped up to cook my eggs and shoved me toward the table telling me she’d get my plate ready. I shrugged and sat down. Toni set a plate in front of me a few minutes later with the waffle on it. The eggs were arranged to look like eyes and the bacon strips were formed into a big grin. Toni kissed me on the cheek before she sat down to finish her own breakfast.

"Thanks, Bear. It’s been a very long time since I had anything to do with getting breakfast. I really enjoyed that. I like the simple food too. I’ve gotten tired of all of the fancy stuff out on the road."

"Me too. How about you, Adrea?" She waved agreement as she hungrily ate her waffle. "I’ll that that as a yes then." Andrea looked up with a large smile as a drop of real maple syrup dripped off of her chin.

"I think we have a winner here, Toni. Andrea do you want another waffle?" She nodded as she put the last of the first one into her mouth. I got up to start another waffle in the iron.

"So where are you staying in town anyway, Toni?"

"I’m supposed to go to the big hotel downtown. I’m tired of hotels though. All of the fans always trying to get to see me and no peace at any time of day or night."

"Well, how about staying here? I have three extra guest rooms that have never been used since I built this place. They may need a little cleaning but they’re yours if you want them while you’re in town. You haven’t seen it yet but there’s even a spring fed swimming pool in the back yard. The water’s nice and cool even on the hottest summer day."

"Unless my manager vetoes the idea I’d love to stay here for a while. After these two shows I don’t have another show for at least two more weeks. I could use a break where I’m away from the public. They’d have a hard time finding me here wouldn’t they?"

"If you don’t know that the little road leads to a house you’d never find the place."

"Great. Can I use your phone? I'll call my manager and let him know where I am. Can I give him your phone number?"

"Sure. There's a phone in almost every room. The phone in here is on the counter by the door. Help yourself." Toni finished her waffle then called her manager. I couldn't hear any of the conversation but she came back smiling a few minutes later.

"He wasn't real happy about the last minute change of plans on lodging but when I explained that it was kind of hard to find the place he thought it was a good idea. The fans have set up camp at the hotel where I was supposed to stay and are already scouring the hotel rooms for me. I gave him the address and told him to look for the mailbox. He'll be here in a couple of hours. He just has to be sure that he's not followed by the fans."

"I appreciate that. Peace and quiet was the main reason I built this house all the way out here. I doubt that anyone will spot the bus from the air because of the tree cover. We'll just have to get you into and out of the city using normal vehicles while you're here."

"I didn't see any cars parked outside. Are they in the garage?"

"Yup. I have a positively huge Ford Excursion SUV with dark tinted windows that should be perfect to drive you around in. I doubt that any of your fans would expect you to arrive in something like that. We could also arrange for a decoy limo or two as well. I have some friends in the business that can help there."

"Great! Then it's settled. I'm staying here after the concert for my vacation. Are you sure you want house guests for two weeks, Bear?" Our eyes met again and I knew then and there that this lovely young lady would always be welcome in my home and my heart for however long she wanted to stay. There are no words to express the feelings that passed between us during that moment. Our souls touched and intertwined creating a bond between us.

I sat for several seconds choosing my words carefully. "Toni, I was never so certain of anything as I am of this. You will always be welcome here no matter what has happened to you. You will always be safe here and I would gladly give my life to protect you."

"Thanks, Bear. You're kind of like the big brother I always wanted."

"And you're like the little sister I always wanted."

"Well come on big brother. Let's get those rooms cleaned up and our stuff moved in here out of the bus."

"All right, sis. The cleaning stuff is in the closet in the hallway. You're not going to stay here without helping out are you?"

"Just try and stop me from helping out, Bear. I need to get back to feeling like I used to instead of some type of pampered star with a swelled head. Let's get busy."

We finished up the breakfast dishes and got the cleaning supplies out of the closet. In an hour all three rooms were cleaned and fresh linen and towels were put in place. Andrea and Toni got their bags out of the bus and got all set up in two of the rooms. Toni expected her mom to fly in when the concert was over. I told her that her mom was always welcome here too.

Andrea moved the bus up next to the house and I connected power, water and sewer lines from the bus to drops I had installed when I had the place built. I had considered buying a large motor home so I had the connections installed just in case. The bus was set for several weeks before needing service. It could also serve as additional bedroom space if needed.

While Toni was waiting for her manager, we headed for the recording studio. I played a tape I made of a local band for her. She smiled at the style and commented that it was so close to the sound she wanted on her own music. I loaded a set of music tracks into the recording computer and got Toni set up in the isolation booth. She had just completed a vocal track when her manager arrived. Andrea let him in and brought him down to the studio.

She came out of the booth when she saw him enter the studio. "Hi, Tyler! How are things going for this concert?"

"Fine I suppose. You threw a bit of a monkey wrench into things when you decided not to stay at the hotel but I can see why you decided to stay here. It is hard to find and if you hadn't given me exact directions and what to look for I'd still be searching. That little road is awfully easy to miss." He looked over at me then back at Toni. "Toni, aren't you going to introduce me to your host?"

"Oh, I'm sorry! Bear, this is Tyler Jenkins, my manager. Tyler, this is Robert Thompson but everyone calls him Bear. Bear here saved us in Chicago when Joe walked out ten minutes before the concert." Tyler reached out and we shook hands.

"Thanks for coming to the rescue, Bear. I'm told that the performance was positively electric. It that true?"

I was about to comment when Toni chimed in, "I heard the concert myself from the CD copy. I think it's the best I've ever done if not the absolute best. Want to hear it?"

"Do you have the CD's here?"

"Bear brought them with him. Are they still in your brief case, Bear?"

"No, I brought them down with us." I reached over to hit the play button on one of the CD players and adjusted the level of the sound system in the control room. The concert started and we all listened until the CD ended with the first half of the show.

Tyler spoke up first as the last of the notes faded into the applause. "My God, Bear, does it all sound like that?"

"Yes, do you like it?"

"Like it? I LOVE IT! Toni, I think we have your next album right here just as it sets. Bear, let's listen to the second half of the show." I changed the CD in the player to the second half and hit the play button again. Another hour later both Toni and Tyler were grinning from ear to ear.

"Bear, this sounds even better now than it did on the bus when we listened to it that night. Will it sound this good for most people?"

"That's hard to say, Toni. I think so. Why?"

"I think Tyler is right. This is the next release for me. I've never done a live in concert release before and this recording is the best I have so far. I still get excited thinking about my performance that night."

"You really think this is that good, Tyler?"

"If it wasn't I never would have suggested it, Bear. Yes, it's THAT good."

"Thanks, Tyler. This was only supposed to be a check recording so I didn't master it as well as I could have. I guess you have your next big hit right here, Toni. Let me make backup copies of these CDs since they are the only copies in existence. I have the facilities to copy them and make backups so we don't loose the material."

"Wait a minute, Bear. You mean that you could get this even better?"

"Possibly, Tyler, possibly. If I used some of my digital gear from the studio to record I could get a multi-track master instead of just the CD copy of the audio."

"Want to try at the two Syracuse concerts? Toni told me she's asked you to mix them for her. When Joe called to tell me he quit, I started looking for someone to replace him. I haven't found anyone yet that I'd trust yet to handle the job until I heard this."

Toni looked at me again. I could almost hear what she was thinking. She just nodded her hear eagerly as I looked back. "All right, Tyler. My little sister here would never let me hear the end of it if I refused. I'll at least do the two concerts this weekend. We'll have to see about anything after that though."

Toni exploded off the chair and launched herself at me. She scored a direct hit with a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Oh, thank you Bear. You've made me so happy! I knew you would do it!"

"Toni, can Bear and I have a little talk alone for a few minutes please?"

"Of course, Tyler. I have to visit the little girls room anyway." She bounded out of the control room. We heard her charge up the stairs to her room.

"Please forgive me for asking, Bear but I have to look after her best interests. Has something happened between you two?"

"I guess you could say that something has happened, yes."

"My GOD. I knew it had to happen sooner or later. She had sex with you didn't she. Now it will be all over the papers."

"That's NOT what happened, Tyler. You can ask Andrea yourself. She was with us every step of the way here and nothing happened. What did happen was that Toni and I have bonded together. I think of her as the little sister I never had and she thinks of me as her big brother. We know things about each other that would be very harmful if they ever became public. Our bond goes beyond love, Tyler. I would give up my own life to protect her if it came to that and I know she would for me. There is a part of each of us that completes the other. I can't explain it any more than that because words simply do not exist for what we feel. I can assure you beyond any doubt that I care deeply for Toni and would never do ANYTHING to harm her in any way."

"Bear, I can tell from the way she looks at you and acts toward you that you're telling the truth. It took her almost two years to trust me after her father hurt her. In just two days you've gained her complete trust in spite of your somewhat scary exterior. That's a record for Toni. She usually closes herself off from most people unless it's related to her performing and then it's only while she's on stage."

"I know all about her father. I guess you could say that I've seen it all through her eyes and felt what she felt. That's a part of the bond between us. It's probably best if we never speak of this again around her, Tyler. It's a very private thing between us."

 

To be continued in Before My Time - Chapter 2

 

 

 

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© 2002 by Bob Arnold. All Rights Reserved. These documents (including, without limitation, all articles, text, images, logos, compilation design) may printed for personal use only. No portion of these documents may be stored electronically, distributed electronically, or otherwise made available without express written consent of the copyright holder.