Warning: the following contains adult situations and extreme language. If you are easily offended, or just are not old enough legally to be viewing this, please leave now. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Becoming Antonia
by Toni Trepasso
Ok, so let me give you the background of my case. I'm an alumnus of a fraternity at an upstate NY college. My brothers call me Hermes, named after the Greek Messenger God. My parents named me Patrick, (Pat for short). I'm a rather big guy. My last physical at work had me at 250 pounds. I do have a bit of a gut, but my crew leader always knows that I can handle any "bull work" he has to have done, (I guess being a Prop on the college rugby team and a shot and a discus thrower had left me with some good strength.)
I went back to visit the school for Hell Night, (for those of you who aren't members of a Greek organization, Hell Night is the night when the people who want to join, show what they have learned of the house's past and that of Greek tradition. If they show that as a group they have learned what they were supposed to, they earn their Colors.) I won't bore you with the details of that night, (only brothers and alumni are privileged to what ACTUALLY happens there anyway.) I've been known to be a bit of an asshole. One of the things we do as brothers is play a game called "cup check," in which one guy yells cup check, claps twice and then backhands another guy in the nuts, (barbaric, and childish I know. But it's all in good fun, and we're usually drunk at the time right?) The clap is meant to give everyone else a chance to cover up. However, I am known to be VERY quick with my claps and have gotten more than my share of brothers this way, (sorry about that time at Psi D, Hulk.)
Anyway, we are the newest fraternity on campus and there are only so many houses to go around so we hold our festivities on top of the hill behind the other campus in the town, (there is a private school and a State school in the same small town, across the main street from each other in the town. We are from the State school.) The ceremony went on without a hitch and we decided to back down the hill after the celebration and hit the all night Chinese food restaurant. We usually snake our way down the hill because it's not QUITE legal for us to be where we are, and it's about a 60% grade, so walking straight up is almost impossible. Then when you add to that the facts that it was mid March, the schools are in western NY state, and in direct line with the usual belt of lake effect snow off of Lake Erie, you see why we don't go straight up. Well, as you can imagine, when you mix alcohol with high spirits you tend to get a lively bunch of drunks. So we were walking back down the hill for the night, and I was reaching for a tree to help keep my balance, since it was winter and the path was covered in snow over the fallen pieces of the trees that were there, when one of the younger guys who was (as we like to call it) "bombed off his ass" decided that would be a good time to retaliate on me for the earlier cup check. So he yells, claps and swings faster then I can let go of the tree.
I remember tumbling, and I do remember bouncing off some trees and rocks as I made my (quicker then I would have liked) descent. I woke up in a hospital bed, just as a nurse was sticking me for a blood draw.
I jerked my arm back just before she stuck me and asked her, "Where the fuck am I?" (I warned you I have a mouth on me.)
This is when my inner monolog kicked in. "What the hell is wrong with my voice? That sounded like a chick. But I know I said it. What the fuck is going on here?"
She apparently noticed my direst, and told me, "I'm Nurse Smith. You are in the hospital. Your brothers brought you here after you tumbled down a hill. You are lucky to be alive. They found you face down in a ditch behind the University's chem. lab, and there were toxic waste barrels leaking into the ditch with you. You've been out for two months. Let me go get your doctor." She left the room, leaving me to ponder all that had happened.
The nurse came back with another woman who introduced herself as Dr. Erica Mathews. I shook her hand and gasped as I saw the hand looked like that of a woman. (You see, I'm a mechanic by trade, and my hands have for the better part of the past 10 years been pock marked with scars and cuts from me working on race cars, and recently fork trucks at the metal rolling plant I work at near home.)
"What the fuck is going on?!" I exclaimed, then thought to myself, "there's that god damn voice again. Just what the fuck happened to me?"
The doctor instructed the nurse to leave, and then pulled a chair up next to my bed. I went to sit up and realized there were now two rather large globes of flesh attached to my chest, visible thru ever the loose-fitting hospital gown. She looked at me, took a deep breath and informed me that over the past months I had changed into a woman.
"I'm sorry doc. but you can tell Opiee and Pete, that this is not funny. And whatever you gave me to get my voice to sound like this, is a nice touch, but this sounds like something a bad fiction writer would write. This can't be real."
She nodded and helped me up from the bed.
"Why do I feel lighter then I did before? And why are my arms thinner? Speaking of which, where the hell is the hair that is usually there?"
My mind was racing now. So many questions, as she lead me over to the door and the floor length mirror that hung on the back of it. To say I was shocked would be like saying Hitler was mildly confused. (I know, get your hate mail going folks, I can keep this up all day.) What I saw staring back at me next to the doctor, (who was quite the looker herself I might add,) was a young woman, who looked in her mid 20's, (I just turned 30 in actuality.) The gown did little to hide the fact that the woman standing next to the doctor was in amazing shape. I'd have put her at about 115- 125 pounds. She was about my height, (5'10" according to the last physical I had for work) and her hair was down to the middle of her back. It was that sexy auburn that has always got my motor running. The Doctor undid the tie on the back of the neck of my her gown and it fell to the floor. My eyes were riveted to the large mounds of womanly flesh on the girls chest. I'd have put them near double D cups for sure. I felt myself starting to get aroused, and smiled at the vision in front of me when it hit me.
"Wait a minute, that chick has the same tattoo as me."
I looked down at "my body" and realized I was naked just like the girl I was looking at, and those lovely breasts I was ogling were sitting on MY chest!
I looked at the mirror again and saw that the doctor had her hand on the shoulder of the girl in the mirror like she had on my shoulder. That was when the world went black.
I woke up back in my bed with the doctor taking my blood pressure, and the nurse from earlier taking more blood.
"Where am I?" there was that voice again. "And what happened to my voice?"
The doctor finished taking my vitals and then retold me the story from earlier. I looked at her and shook my head trying to wrap my brain around what she was saying.
"You mean to tell me that some chemical spill from the University caused me to change genders? BULL SHIT!"
She pulled out a photo book and showed me the dated pictures. The first one was of a guy that looked kind of like me, but his hair was gone. I don't just mean the hair on his head, but his eye brows, arms, chest, legs, and his pubes, were all gone, and he look like he got into a fight with a train and lost. The next few showed the same guy growing back the hair on his head, over a couple days. I looked at the face again and realized it was me. Those same pictures showed his body fat just melting away. You could actually make out the different muscled throughout his body, although they looked A LOT smaller then they had been before all this happened, but I still looked good, all things considering.
"Cool I have Abs! I've never had Abs."
Then I looked between my legs in the pictures, and was dumbfounded. Granted, I've never been a "BIG" guy, but I could hold my own, and never had a woman say she didn't have a good time. The pictures showed my cock getting smaller and smaller as the days progressed. My face started to loose all color as I kept going along in the book. The day my penis was no longer visible in the pictures, was the same day I saw the first signs of breasts on my chest. I kept turning pages and the breasts just kept getting bigger and bigger, (it was like watching something you'd find at www.expansionmansion.com.)
I finally broke down. I heaved the book across the room and started to sob into my dainty hands.
"Why is this happening? Why me? Why now? What is my family going to say? Oh GOD! DAD!!! I have his Jeep!"
Looking up at the doctor with water streaming down my face. "I gotta call my dad, he must be out of his mind!" she pulled me into a hug and patted the back of my head, saying, "Shhh, it's ok, your dad and mom have already been here. They know all about what has happened."
I looked up at her and just stared blankly. "Are they still here?"
She shook her head and told me, "no, we called them this morning when you woke up. Your mom said she and your step dad would be down this after noon."
I nodded to her. "And what about dad?"
She looked down to me. "Uh, he wasn't home."
My mind started asking questions again. "Dad never leaves the house. What the hell? She looked down and to the left, they told us in staff training when I was an RA, (I was a Residents Assistant when I was in college. Basically we are the ones who the students interact with in the dorms incase of problems, questions, or concerns,) that means she's not telling me something. What's wrong with Dad?"
I heard a knock at the door and turned to see my mom standing there, crying, so that got my water works going again, as my mind kept up asking questions. "Why the hell can't I stop crying?"
"Hi Mom."
She just hugged me tight and cried. After what seemed like a while, she wiped the tears away, and sat in the chair in the room, as the doctor left us alone.
"Mom, what's going on? The doctor's not telling me something."
I've always been able to read Mom like a book, and today was no different. She just looked at me like she was about to drop a bomb on me, but didn't want to.
"Mom, where's Dad?"
She started to cry again.
"MOM! Where is DAD?" I asked her again in a sterner tone.
She sniffled and looked me in the eyes. "Ok, here it comes, mom only looks me in the eyes when it's BIG." "Your father hasn't handled this well at all. In fact, he and the rest of the family think you are the devil."
"WHAT!? MOM! NO!"
She just nodded to me. "They think that what happened to you is not natural."
"NO SHIT!"
She just waved her hand for me to be quiet. "Your father acts like you are dead."
I started to cry again. "Why? I didn't ask for this to happen. It just did. It's not my fault."
She got up and hugged me again and wiped my tears away. "We're here for you honey," she told me. I looked up and there was my step dad standing there in the doorway, holding back tears of his own. I looked at them both and nodded.
"Does Sarah know?"
"I know what's gone on Pat" came a voice behind me. I turned to see my fiancé.
"Sarah, I just wish you didn't have to see me like this."
"You know I love you, no matter what Pat."
"Just leave. You can't love a... what ever the hell I am now. It's not fare to you."
"You can't say that. I love you. I love the person on the inside, the outside doesn't matter to me."
"What about your dream of kids? How can I be the father of your children when I don't have a penis?" I shouted at her more out of frustration then anger.
"I know you've been thru a lot, buy I want you to know I'm here for you if you want to talk about it." she told me as she kissed my cheek, then walked out of my room in tears.
My mom walked over to her and they talked in the hall for a while, as I just buried my head in my hands and started to ball my eyes out.
"That wasn't fare of you Pat. She loves you, and I thought until a minute ago you loved her too."
"It's not fare to ask her to give up her dream of having kids because of me. I can't be anyone's father."
"You're your father's son. Both of you are pig headed fools. What about adoption?"
"I just don't know what to do mom."
She hugged me and I let my mind wander to what had taken place the night of the party.
"What about the guys? Do they know?"
She told me. "They guys have been under a lot of scrutiny from the school and the police."
"Why mom? They didn't do anything?"
She went on to tell me. "The police think they beat you up and dumped you there. They are treating this like a "Hazing Crime."
"What, Mom, NO! Come on, you know the guys, they would never do that. Not to me. Not to anyone."
As if on cue, a familiar face walked in the door, knocking as he did.
"Captain Brown? What are you doing here?" I asked him.
He looked puzzled that I knew his name. (You see when I was attending school there and being on staff, we had to keep a weekly meeting with Captain Brown, the head of Campus Safety. During my tenure I talked a lot about what was happening both on my floor and in my dorm.)
"Um miss, I'd like to talk to you about what you remember from that night."
I couldn't help but giggle a little when he called me "miss" but being as I no longer looked like the guy I once did, I guess it fit. "Cap, it's me!" I stated, "Patrick, remember, fall '95-97, MacKenzie North?"
He turned the same shade of white I did earlier when looking at the pictures of my transformation.
"Um, no. I mean yes, I mean." He was stammering for the right words. "PAT! I thought the name looked familiar."
He looked at me, trying to first see if there was any similarities to the old me. (There aren't, I already looked.) Then he paused as if trying to make sense of it all. So I handed him the book the doctor left in my room. He carefully looked thru the pages and you could see him blush as he saw EVERYTHING that made me the woman I am now.
"Wow, you look nothing like the guy I met 10 years ago."
"No shit!" I thought to myself. "So what brings you here?"
He got that look on his face I remember so well from back in the day. "Well we have reports of Hazing in your Fraternity."
"WHAT!? You're kidding me right? Come on Cap, you can't be serious."
The look on his face told me he was serious as a heart attack.
"Pat, how did you end up in the ditch behind the University Chem lab?" He asked me in that same stern tone I had heard him use so many times on other students when I was going to school.
"I was out looking for nocturnal wildlife when I lost my footing."
He shook his head. "I already talked to Pete, and Opiee, they told me you were at a party on the hill."
I blushed. "I didn't want the guys to get in trouble for trespassing."
He nodded. "That is a separate matter here. How did you end up in the ditch?"
I gulped and took a deep breath. "We were walking back down after the party, to get Chinese food, when I tripped and fell. I know I hit my head a couple times, and the next thing I remember I woke up with the local vampire, (that would be Nurse Smith) trying to stick me for a blood draw. Honestly Cap. the guys have nothing to do with this."
He pulled out a pad of paper. "Would you mind making an official statement?"
I nodded. "As long as you can get the DA to agree to not press charges for the hill party."
He knew I had him. It was going to be one hand washes the other, and if he wanted to close my case, he was going to have to play my way.
"Ok, I'll talk to him and see what I can do."
I just shook my head. "No, either he drops any charges against the guys for the party, or I don't talk. It's that simple Cap. You know me, I've never lied to you, well, aside from the half truth I told you today. If you can't get the DA to go along with this, then I'm sorry, but I plead the 5th." (For those of you not from the States, the 5th amendment to the US Constitution protects someone from incriminating themself in a legal matter, by not having to talk about it to the authorities.)
He picked up his cell phone and dialed a number. Apparently he was calling the DA, because he told who ever what on the other end what I had just told him. He nodded and hung up.
"Ok, done. All charges against your house for the party are dropped. Now, about that statement."
I took the pad from him and wrote about the deal with the DA first. That way it was on record and there was no way to back out now. Then I wrote down just what I told the Captain earlier, about the party, and walking back down, losing my footing and grabbing a tree, (I left out the part about Tugger slapping my balls) then the tree breaking and me going down the hill the fast way. I handed him the pad back after I signed it and as the nurse came in I asked her to make me a copy of my statement after the Captain signed it. (If watching all those cop shows with Dad has taught me anything, it is to always get it in writing, and keep a copy for yourself.) The Captain shook my hand and left, telling me to stay in touch, and stop in to see him next time I was in town.
"Hey, cap? Can you do me one more favor?"
"I can try. What's up?"
"I don't want anyone in here that I don't know, and I DON'T want any media."
"Yeah, about that. You know the alumni at the U are some powerful people in the world of business right?"
"Um, I guess. Why?"
"They have been doing their best to keep everything out of the papers and as far under the radar as they can in regards to TV, and radio. But if it'll make you feel any better, I'll post a guard outside your door. OH, and you know Dee is back on the force, right?"
"Can I have her? We have a lot of catching up to do." I smiled as he nodded, and I thought back to my first days at Alfred.
I had met a girl at orientation, and she lived at the bottom of campus. I was in the dorm at the very top of the hill, and after I got unpacked I decided that I wanted to pay her a visit, so what's the fastest way for a person to get down a hill? (aside from how I went down the one behind the U?) I strapped on my roller blades and pointed myself down upper campus drive. About half way down I heard a siren, and a voice over a loud speaker asking me to pull over. I looked over my shoulder and saw a cop car following me, so I stood up and tried to put on my brake. However, it snapped off, and went thru the windshield of the cop car. The cop pulled in front of me and instead of putting on the brakes slowly to help me stop, the cop just jammed them on and I ended up doing a face plant on the trunk. As I was trying to clear the cobwebs from my head from the hit, I turned to see a rather large woman cop standing in front of me, and she looked pissed.
"Do you know how fast you were going?"
"Fast enough to piss you off?"
"I clocked you at 55, and the speed limit on campus is 20. Are you alright?" she asked as I was wiping the blood from my nose.
"Yeah, I'll live, I always bleed from the face when I bounce off a car."
She ended up writing me a ticket for speeding and made me take off my skates. I showed up for my court case and the judge looked mad.
"55, in a 20, you're losing your licence for this one boy."
"Your honor, I wasn't in my car."
"Motorcycle?"
"No."
"How were you going that fast?"
I held up my skates. He looked at the cop who I later found out during staff training was named Dee, and she nodded.
"Young man, you know it's not safe to go that fast on those. So slow it down in the future. Case dismissed. You are free to go. Officer, in my chambers.... NOW!"
Dee and I became friends after that, and would often joke about the incident.
Mom then told me that she hired a lawyer for me, and we were suing the university for unsafe dumping, pain and suffering, and punitive damages, (what ever that means). He had also gotten a judge to put a gag order on the whole hospital staff, so no one could say a word about my case to anyone who was not related to me. Also that the lawyer has started the paperwork to legally change my name. I was dumbfounded. It hadn't yet sunk in to my brain that Patrick wasn't Patrick anymore. Then it hit me. I remember all the long talks my Dad and I had as we drove to the races when we both worked for the USAR Hooters Cup team. (www.usarprocup.com). Dad told me once that if he had a daughter he wanted to name her Antonia, and call her Toni for short. He'd always laugh and tell me about the fun it would be when a young man called and asked for Toni on the phone, and he'd tell them "speaking." (Dad has a strange sense of humor).
"Antonia" I said as I looked at mom.
She just looked back and tried to comprehend what I just said.
"My new name, I want to be Antonia. But you can call me Toni for short."
She nodded and smiled a little, knowing where it came from. Visiting hours came to an end and my cell phone rang, right after Mom and Doug left.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Oh, I'm sorry I think I dialed the wrong number." the caller stated, as I checked the ID.
"Opiee?"
Dead silence on the other end.
"Um, is Hermes there?"
"DUDE! It's me!" To which I was again greeted with dead silence. "Hello?" I asked.
"Um, is this the same Hermes who is my little brother in the fraternity?" he asked, not knowing what else to do.
"Well I guess you are still my big brother, but I think you should call me your little sister now." I told him giggling slightly.
"Um you don't sound like Hermes."
"NO SHIT!.. ok, I'll prove it to you." I went on to tell him about the night in Cougar's room when she joined our sisters. I mentioned about him playing with hair spray, and me pissing on her roommate's bed. I even told him about us doing community service afterwards and fixing his step dad's fence.
And again a long pause. "Pat?" he finally asked.
"Well for the most part, yeah, it's still me."
He asked me what happened, and why I sounded like a woman. So I gave him the "readers digest" version of what happened. He went on to tell me about all the problems with the DA, and Campus Safety, and how the school didn't know what to do, they were going to wait to see what happened with the DA first.
I then told him that it was all taken care of, and about the deal with Captain brown.
"Always playing an angle aren't you?" he laughed.
"Well I wanted to protect the brotherhood as best I could, after all, you guys have always been there for me."
He told me that some of the guys had Friday off and that they wanted to stop by and see me. I went white as a sheet, and didn't know what to say.
My heart didn't give my brain time to think and I blurted out, "Absolutely. I'll tell the nurse."
My brain finally caught up. "FUCK! Now what? FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Too late now to back out."
He babbled about something and told me he'd see me Friday. I hung up and tried to get some sleep. But my mind kept racing.
"Man what a day? I find out I've been in a coma for 2 months, and they guys almost lost their charter. My Dad doesn't want anything to do with me. FUCK! I'm a woman, now. How the hell am I going to adjust to that? I wonder if I still have a job? I mean, I haven't been there for 2 months. If I do still have a job, will I still be able to do it? Where will I live, Dad won't let me stay there anymore, he won't even want to talk to me. Or will he?"
I picked up my cell again and dialed my dad's house, (it's weird not calling it home anymore).
"Hello?" dad answered.
" Dad?" I replied, which was met with a quick hang up. So I dialed back thinking it was a dropped call, and got the answering machine. Oh yeah, it was dropped alright. He dropped the receiver back on the cradle faster then Britaney Spears trying to hold her baby. (I know, get your hate mail ready folks. But I make no apologies.)
So I laid back down and shut my eyes. Sleep was uneasy that night. I kept replaying the night in my head. More the fall then the rest of it, and I kept dreaming about the guys showing up Friday.
The next few days were filled with a whirl wind of test, of poking and prodding with needles, and ultrasounds. Then I was introduced to the wonderful world of the OBGYN. (These sick bastard's get paid to look at the parts of women the rest of us would get arrested for asking to see.) She ran some tests, and this tube up my, vagina. (Wow it seems weird to actually call it my vagina) She told me it had a camera in it to see how everything was looking, and that she would be taking a biopsy to make sure everything was normal.
"Define normal Doc? Because my definition has been rolled up into a ball, lit on fire and then pissed on over the past few days."
She looked at me and half smiled and nodded. Then after she did her thing I was able to go back and try to sleep, the guys were coming in the morning. When I got there, I saw the chiseled face of the woman I grew to respect both as a cop, and a friend from my days at school.
"Hi Dee."
"Um, hello miss. I've been assigned by Captain Brown to look after you for the rest of your stay."
"Dee, you don't recognize me do you? Pat... remember the roller blade speeding ticket?"
All the color drained from her face and finally the name Cap gave her clicked. She just stood there with her jaw hanging and looking at me. I invited her into my room and we talked for a while. I showed her the pictures the doctor had given me and she was almost as stunned as I was at the transformation. She got up to go back to stand duty as my dinner arrived, and I asked her to make sure no media shows up, I just hate having my picture taken. She nodded.
"So that's why in most of the pictures I've seen of you, you have your middle finger in the air. Good way to make sure they wont be used in print. I'll be in the hall. Just yell if you need anything."
I was relaxing watching the NASCAR practice after dinner when I looked at the door and saw a woman I hadn't seen since I was at the AM stations back in Syracuse.
"Leila? What are you doing here?"
"Ah, Miss Trepasso, you're awake, good, I have a few questions if you don't mind."
"What the hell? How did you get in here?"
"So is it true that you used to be a man?" she asked as she pulled out a small video camera and a tape recorder."
"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM! DEE!" she ran in just as soon as I called for her.
"You're not supposed to be in here. I'm sorry Toni, I had to use the head."
"Wait, Dee. Take her camera, and the tape deck. Leila, I'm surprised at you. What happened to the scared little girl that had her first night on the air at 'News radio 750'? You've changed. You can stay, and we can talk, but it's all off the record. For now anyway."
She took a seat and pulled out a pad of paper. I told her that off the record means off the record, and if she didn't like that, she could leave. She put the pad away and I explained to her what had happened.
"How did you know I was scared my first time on the air?"
I made a motion like I was pushing a button. "Smile will you? You look like you're about to throw up."
It took her a moment to remember, but it finally clicked and her jaw dropped as she lust stared at me.
"PAT? Pat Trepasso?"
"To answer your earlier question, yes I used to be a man. And YES, I am, or rather WAS, Pat. I go by Toni now."
"You're the same Pat that used to produce my news when I was at 750?"
"The one and only."
"This isn't possible. You're a... a..."
"Woman? What did your boss tell you when you were told to come here?"
"Just that there was a woman who used to be a man at this hospital."
"Ok, again, strictly off the record, I'll give you some of the story. I was at a party behind Alfred University. NO, it wasn't a hazing incident. NO, I wasn't beat up. And HELL NO, my brothers didn't do this to me. They actually saved my life. I fell down the hill when I tripped and ended up in a pool of toxic waste."
I held up the photo book for her to see, but not touch, and she just had a deer in the head lights look the whole time.
"A lot to wrap your head around isn't it?"
"Um, yeah. You have to let me do a story on you. This could make my career."
"I don't want to be a freak. And you know as well as I do, that your story will make me a freak. So I have to decline. But I promise you this, if I ever do anything note worthy, you'll get the first crack at the story. Deal?" I asked as I held out my hand to her.
"I'm going to hold you to this, Pa... I mean Toni."
"Ok. Look Leila, it's been a long day, and I need to get some sleep. Good seeing you again."
"You too, and sorry for sneaking in on you. Night." She waved as she walked out, and I closed my eyes for some needed sleep.
I woke up as the nurse came into my room with breakfast, and noticed a sign on the door, "Please call me Toni." I smiled to myself at the joke being the one person who this was meant to honor wouldn't piss on me if I were on fire now. I sighed and ate. A little while later there was a knock at the door, and a familiar voice
"HERPES! You in here?" Opiee, is always pulling that crap.
"FUCK YOU OPIEE!" was my reply.
He and Pete, came around the corner and just stared at me.
"Hermes?" they asked in unison.
"In the flesh, well what's left of it that is." I laughed.
Opiee was staring and starting to drool. That was when Pete punched him and reminded him of who I was.
"Still the dirty old man I see, eh big bro?" He just laughed.
"WOW! You look..." he paused to find the right word.
"Hot?" I offered, causing him to turn more shaded of red then I thought possible.
Pete interjected, "Man we though you were dead. What ever you landed in burned my boots and Opiees gloves."
I just nodded and smirked. "Yeah, think carefully about what it did to me." I replied.
The look on his face told me I struck a nerve, he was just trying to see how I was doing.
"It's not your guy's fault. I don't even blame Tugger really. Although I would like to get the fucker back somehow."
Pete smiled. "Well you could come to Alumni weekend and lead him on."
"Um, short answer, NO, longer answer, HELL NO!, longest answer, OH HELL NO!" I laughed. "It's bad enough to know Opiee wants to fuck me." I looked at my big brother. "DUDE! Snap out of it, you're not my type."
He started to laugh. "Sorry man, er, uh..." It was fun to watch him stumble to find the words.
"Just call me Toni, or Hermes. I'd cut that herpes shit out if I were you, or I might start telling people you gave me it." I laughed.
They both sat down and we talked about that night, and they asked me what happened. I just handed them the photo book the doctor gave me and they both flipped thru it in silence. They came to the last pictures of me naked and they both started to blush more then I've ever seen them do before. That was when Mom came back in with a big shopping bag from one of the local women's stores for me.
"Mom, you remember Opiee, and Pete." I offered to her as they shook her hand, and stood up to get ready to leave.
"So who else came with you guys?" I asked.
"Maria, Jamie, and Brit."
"Well, send them in on your way out." I told them as my mom set the bag down. "What's that Mom?" I pointed to the bag, obviously filled with clothes.
"Oh just some things to get you by till we can go shopping." She pulled out a bra, and matching panties. "You'll need to ware one of these so your breasts don't sag." she explained as she tossed it to me.
I took off my hospital gown and started to get it on like I've seen so many ex girlfriends do when they had to put one on. I was dumbfounded finally realizing just how real this all is now. I was brought back to reality by a knock and the high pitched shrill of a voice I can only describe as Rosanne Barr on helium.
"What up fucker?"
I snapped by head back up from the task of putting a bra on to see her jaw drop as Maria saw my double d's jutting out from my chest. Before I was able to cover up, Jamie, and Brit walked in and both just looked at me. You'd have thought my head was on fire and my ass was catching to see me scramble to pull the gown back on.
"Nice tits Hermes." Brit stated with a devilish smile, as I turned more shades of red then Opiee did earlier.
"Um, thanks?" I didn't know what to say.
"Are those real?" Maria, always direct.
"Um, YEAH! I grew my own because you won't let me play with your's." I joked back at her, then pointed to the book of pictures and they reacted like everyone before them had.
Their attention averted gave me time to finish putting on my bra. I motioned mom to come close, and whispered to her,
"How did you know my size?"
she smiled, "They measured you before you woke up."
I just nodded, and pulled the gown back over my now restrained breasts. The girls looked at me and were awe struck.
"Hermes?" Maria asked?
"Don't make me prove it to you too. Ok, the weekend I met you we were putting Mac Duff thru, and we were in Sarge's room making him his shirt, we went shopping at Wally World, (Walmart for those of you not in college) and we talked about who in the house actually understood what it meant to be a brother." She just looked at me and her eyes got wide. "OH MY GOD! HERMES! It is you." I turned to Jamie, "How did you ever let this rocket scientist be president for as long as she was?"
She laughed and shrugged, not really knowing what to say.
"What do you think Brit?" I asked.
"I think she smokes too much pot." she responded in a giggle, causing me to laugh too.
"Um, I mean about me, and what's happened?" I instructed. She blushed and I could see her nipples harden thru her shirt. (Brit and I have always joked that we had the same taste in women.) I just smiled and nodded. When Jamie broke in.
"You really are Hermes, you have your Tattoo." I looked at my right arm and looked at the promise I had made to Loki about getting the crest inked into my skin when they finally got the charter. Just too bad he never lived long enough to see the day.
"Yup, I'm still me, well on the inside, I'm still me. On the outside, I'm..."
I paused to think of what to say when Brit broke in. "My next girlfriend."
We all laughed, and it dawned on me that mom had never met the girls before.
"Mom, the one with her forearm pierced is Brit, she's a Pi Nu sister. The cute one with the glasses is Jamie, she's one of our's, and the short one with the big mouth is Maria. She's one of our's too, unfortunately." I laughed and she gave me the bird.
"Love you too sis. Speaking of which, does this mean I'm one of you now? I suppose you can't call me a brother anymore." I giggled again.
They all smiled at me.
"You know Hermes," Maria started. "You've always been there to go to bat for us, so I don't see why not."
Jamie nodded, and offered, "We do run things different then the guys do."
"Well I kind of figured that. I guess I need to find a new catch phrase for Hell Night. 'Sound off like you got a pair', just doesn't fit anymore."
We all had a good laugh over that, even mom finally smiled. The girls all gave me big hugs as they left and told me that they would talk to the others and see what was going to happen. They passed the doctor on their way out and she looked at me.
"Ah, your friends came by to see you eh Toni?" I just nodded not even thinking she was using my new name. "How would you like to go home today?" she asked.
"What?" I replied.
"I said how would you like to go home today? Your blood tests indicate that there is nothing more to keep you here. We've set it up that you can do your Physical and Occupational therapies in Syracuse. So we can have you out of her in a couple hours."
I just looked at her. "I don't even know where home is anymore."
I started to tear up again. I'd been living with my dad, I told you I was a mechanic and jack man in the Nextel Cup. Well Dad had a stroke, and I came home with out thinking twice about it to take care of him. Yup, gave it all up to be there for the same fucker who won't even take my call.
"MOTHER FUCKER!" I yelled as I started to ball into my hands.
Mom came over to comfort me and gently rocked me as she stroked my long hair.
"Shhh, it's ok, you're coming to live with me and Doug." I heard her words, but it took a while for it to sink in.
I think I fainted, because I opened my eyes and mom what shaking the doctor's hand as the doctor left the room.
"Mom?" I asked. She turned to face me. "Mom, am I a freak?" I asked with tears once again in my eyes. Mom came over to comfort me, and held me tight as she told me that I was her baby, and would always be. This made me feel a little better, but it still ate at me about Dad.
A little while later a different doctor came in, she told me she was from Syracuse, and would be my OBGYN. I just looked at her like a monkey reading a map. Then it dawned on me.
"OBGYN? Why do I need an OBGYN?"
"It's ok, I'm sure you have a lot of questions, this is normal."
"BITCH I WAS A MAN 2 MONTHS AGO! Tell me that's fucking normal!" I snapped at her, then realized what I had said and apologized, balling my eyes out again.
"You didn't deserve that, I'm sorry, this is all a lot to take in. It's only been a couple days or so since I woke up."
She accepted my apology and told me about the tests they ran while I was still under. She showed me that I in fact now do have all the right things to make me a fully functioning female, and that I would need to be careful.
"What do you mean?"
My mom leaned in and whispered in my ear. "She mean's you can get pregnant honey."
My jaw dropped, as yet another thing I hadn't thought of came into the forefront of my mind. "I just want to go home. Please, let me go home?"
The doctor nodded and went to see how my release was going. I just hugged my mom and cried. I was scared, now I had to worry about things that I never had to think about before. This is starting to suck more and more. I won't bore you with the details of the release, just that I had to see the Doc's in Syracuse the first part of the next week.
So Mom, Doug, and me, all drove back to their place and when we got there, I realized they had set up their computer room as my new bedroom. My bed was there, and my dressers. Then I looked at mom.
"Uh, what will I wear? All I have is guy clothes mom." She gets that look on her face when she has a good surprise for someone. (Think Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland).
"Open your dressers up and see hun."
I looked confused for a moment, then opened the top drawer of one of the dressers, where I usually kept my boxer briefs, and was floored when all I saw was bras and panties of all colors and styles. I looked at some and held up a thong.
"You're fucking kidding me right? You actually expect me to wear something that causes a wedgie on purpose?"
Mom just laughed. "They really aren't that bad hun. Just try it, you might like it." I just gave her "the look." (She know's the one)
The rest of the weekend went pretty easy, we did go shopping. Nothing major, just for some new shoes, (apparently, my feet shrank when I had the change), and some summer styles that I thought didn't look too girlie. I know I'm a woman now, but my brain still thinks it's in a man's body sometimes. Mom took special pleasure in teaching me how to walk like a woman. It took all day Sunday before I got rid of the masculine gate I'd had for almost 30 years.
We met the doctor for the appointment Monday and she went over the tests they did with me at the other hospital. I was still trying to wrap my mind around all she was telling me, then it finally dawned on me.
"When can I go back to work Doctor?"
She looked at my file and then explained to me that I was going to meet with the Physical and Occupational Therapists the following day and they would evaluate me and see what was the next course of action to take.
"What is it you do for a living Toni?"
"I'm a fork truck mechanic."
The look on her face was classic. It took her a moment or two to realize I wasn't screwing with her, and then she remembered that I used to be a man.
"I see, well the Therapists will look at your new body and see when you can be ready to go back."
I sighed, "That's if I actually have a job to go back to."
Mom, took this time to tell me that after she found out about what happened, she called work and told them and that my lawyer had contacted them and taken care of everything. Also that they agreed to wait to see how I was when I woke up as to if and or when I was coming back.
So that being settled we left for home right around lunch time. Mom asked me where I wanted to eat. I looked at my watch and saw that if we hurried we could miss the lunch rush at the Dinosaur. As we pulled up I took a deep breath, and started to sweat. Mom told me that they kept it out of the papers about what had happened, and that she and I would be the only ones who would know here.
As we went in our hostess was someone I used to work with when I was behind the parts counter at the local Hardly Dangerous dealer, (you think I'm that nuts to get sued for copyright violations?) so I had to play it cool and not do anything stupid. Surprisingly, lunch was rather un-eventful, well, other then the fact that I couldn't eat half of what I used to be able to do. The Dinosaur has this platter called the "Tres Grand Hombre's" it's half a chicken, a ˝ rack of ribs, and ˝ pound of pulled pork, two sides and corn bread. I used to pound one of those and then get a piece of home made pie. I took my "to go" box and we headed back "home."
Next time: Toni Back in the saddle
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