Back to the Village of Queens
by Tanya Mazurek
Barry sat on the subway car pretending to stare into space at the faceless crowd heading into the Village Station. Finally, he was 18. In fact, it was his birthday that very day. In Queens, 18 was the drinking age in 1967 and many parents celebrated by allowing the children a very first legal drink. Not in Barry's family.
Barry was an only child and he could not remember the last time that he received a present for any reason. He always had food, shelter and some okay stuff, but his mom pretty much left him alone. He occupied his time by dressing up in women's clothing as a child and started to come of age as a drag queen during the latter part of his senior year in high school.
The subway train pulled into the station and Barry walked out into a warm, sunny June Village day. He had a satchel full of goodies such as panties, various clothing items, makeup and his hairpieces. Barry's hair was really getting long (at least for 1967) and it was getting harder to hide the length as high school graduation approached. The Village during the day was a different place with plenty of out of towners, college students, artists, poets, and various street people either selling stuff, playing music or chess or just philosophizing about anything.
Barry found the familiar modern apartment house near Bleeker Street and walked up to the second floor. For a minute, he stopped and reflected on the situation. He hadn't seen Rhonda or Leslie since that day in the spring when he and Leslie had been intimate. That afternoon, Leslie made some excuse and left and Rhonda never came back. He had been alone in the apartment and eventually, it sunk in that it was time for him to go. He showered, borrowed some guy looking jeans and sweatshirt and left. He still didn't know whose apartment that was, who Rhonda really was, or why he had been treated so strangely.
Last week, out of nowhere, Rhonda called him on his private line as if nothing had ever happened. She cheerfully said in her Brooklyn accent, "Hi, been thinking a lot 'boutcha. Wanna do the Village on Saturday?" It was Barry's 18th birthday and he had no plans. He was likable, but a loner as he chose to spend his time and money dressing as Kitty. The lure of Kitty was getting stronger and Barry kind of new it. However, it was graduation time and he had been getting ready for exams. Now the exams were just over and he was turning 18. He knew that Rhonda knew that he had done the deed with Leslie. He tried to be casual and asked, "the same plan?" Rhonda seemed to hesitate and simply said "No". Almost as if she hadn't even considered the events the last time she met Barry at his house. "I'll meet you at Leslie's place in the Village around lunch."
Barry knocked on the door and was greeted by a graying curly haired man wearing a very uncool bikini swimsuit. Perhaps 25 pounds overweight, his "love handles" seemed to jiggle as he walked. He smiled, not a warm and friendly smile, more like an inmate sizing up fresh meat. He let Barry in without a word. Leslie came to greet Barry with a hug and a smile and a demure, "It's been too long, honey." Barry wanted to know why Leslie had ditched him that afternoon, over two months ago after a mad, passionate romp in the hay. However, this was his 18th birthday, he had been invited by Rhonda and frankly, he had nothing else to do except wait for his mom to leave the house so he could play dress-up. Hanging out in the Village and maybe being Kitty again just sounded much more appealing. So the boy kept quiet and gave Leslie a hug; a cool hug given the fact that they had had a torrid roll in the sack, nevertheless a hug.
Leslie asked Barry if he would like a drink. At first he kind of hesitated and then Leslie added, "With Genuine Kentucky Whiskey." Barry laughed and said, "Sure." The man in the bikini was in another room. Leslie asked Barry if he had met "Doc Feelgood". Barry just looked at Leslie. Leslie smiled and pointed out that "Doc Feelgood is a real doctor who actually owned the apartment that they were in. His real name is Dr. Harold Somethingorother, but the girls at the Club Purple call him 'Doc Feelgood' for a variety of reasons. He was a Village regular, kind of an intellectual, artistic well-off goofball who just loves drag queens and the like."
After about 15 minutes of idle chatter, Rhonda walked into the apartment and without a word kissed Leslie hello and smiled at Barry. "We need to chat", she told him and sat down with him in the sunroom where Leslie and Barry had first kissed. She looked at Barry sternly and said, "You have not been entirely truthful." The boy just looked at her. "You let us treat you like an adult when you were just 17. You could have gotten all of us into real hot water." She added, "I found out only by chance when I went to write your address down from the real library card and saw your date of birth." Now, Leslie chimed in, "I'm in enough trouble with the cops for stuff they don't like at the Club Purple, imagine what they would have done if I was dating jailbait." Barry mumbled a kind of an apology, but he had no real reply. Rhonda added, only this time with a smile, "you have more I.D.s as Kitty than as Barry. You know the cops don't like fake I.D.s." Rhonda could sense that the point was made and it was time to move on.
Leslie added simply, "We did miss you, but do not lie like that to us again. It's your 18th birthday and let's have some fun." She started to give Barry a hug, but Barry, unaccustomed to being hugged while dressed as a boy did not respond. He was looking down kind of embarrassed but not feeling guilty at all. He could have told them that he never really lied and that they just assumed that he was over 18, but since all was forgiven, Barry knew to keep quiet.
Doc Feelgood walked into the room and sat down to listen. That kind of made Barry uncomfortable, however, Barry was starting to understand that there were relationships between Rhonda, Leslie and Doc Feelgood that he needed to understand and he was just a newcomer to the Village. Rhonda stated, "We invited Kitty back here because we all miss her and because we think that she belongs here." Wow thought Barry. This was the first time in his life that he was missed by anyone. It was not lost on him that Kitty was mentioned by name…was Barry kind of jealous?
"I've heard that Kitty is quite a looker" commented Doc Feelgood (translation: We want Kitty) and added, "We heard that she fooled the ever vigilant Leslie into thinking that she was the real thing." (translation: We really want Kitty"). And finally he said, "I've heard she is going to be here tonight. I can't wait." (translation: Get lost kid). Barry just felt like leaving…but where? And Kitty was stirring inside.
Barry considered the situation. He was in the Village on his 18th birthday; he had been scolded for fibbing (okay lying) about his age; he was being told that his popularity was based solely on the charisma of Kitty and it sounded more like a setup than an invitation. Was Rhonda really his friend? Was Leslie passing him along to Doc Feelgood for two tickets to an off-Broadway musical and a player to be named later?
However, what were his options? Go home and watch his mom knit a sweater and talk to her sisters over the phone? Go to the final dance at school to see if anyone knew he had ever gone to Jamaica High? He passed through 4 years of High School building an anonymity that took a lot of effort. He was a good student who actually made every effort not to be noticed. Some people were in the closet; he had built one to live in all through high school. So he did what he does best; remained quiet and non-communicative.
As the talk drifted away from Barry and the day moved into the afternoon, Rhonda suddenly suggested, "Honey, let's go for a stroll in the Park." It took a second for Barry to realize that she meant him. He nodded and they left without much fanfare. Leslie didn't even seem to glance his way.
The afternoon sun was strong and the street life was fascinating. The area had jugglers, mimes, flower children, flower peddlers, musicians, singers, beggars, and hundreds if not thousands of tourist types from the 'burbs to gawk at the scene. As they walked down to Washington Square, Barry noticed a thin, homely man about 40 carrying a purse and mincing around the park. He was obviously almost bald and he combed his hair forward and curled it as if no one would notice. He was taking heat from a few high school kids hurling insults and seemed to be enjoying himself. Will that be me in 20 years? A twinkled toed caricature of a human being trying to be noticed? He was lost in this thought.
Suddenly, as if to wake him up, Rhonda asked what he was thinking. "Nuthin', mumbled the boy. Rhonda added, "I was thinking….." Uh-oh, thought Barry. "What if you stayed in the Village for a few weeks vacation and worked here? It might be fun", Rhonda said almost rhetorically. Barry had the distinct feeling that this was all rehearsed. Barry never replied. He wondered if that would set in motion events that he could not control. He could not hide things that were out of his hands.
Rhonda not only persisted, but went in a totally different direction. She stopped and looked at him in the eye and said, "My heart went out to a frightened guy who really needed me. Why do you think that I really went back to the dance in Flushing? I wanted to make sure that you were not alone if you were "read" and embarrassed. I would have stepped in and whisked you out of there". The tears were rolling down her cheek. Barry hugged her tight. It occurred to Barry that this was the first female that he had ever hugged and really meant it. He made a mental note to never to tell her that Kitty gave oral sex to a perfect stranger that night. They remained silent as they walked. I guess that you can really find out who your friends really are when you are 17 years old boy, pretending to be a 30ish female at a singles dance your very first time made up as a women in public and drunk to boot, he thought. He had never met Rhonda before that night and yet she cared. The boy was starting to experience a very strange feeling…trust?
It was late in the afternoon when they got back to the apartment and no one was home. Leslie walked in with friend whom Barry immediately recognized as the other pretty dancer in the Drag Show at the Club Purple. She commented as she passed by to Rhonda, "Sis, I have a show tonight. I'll catch up." Catch up? Thought Barry. To what? To whom?
"We have a party tonight. Starts at eight at Monte's pad down Bleeker Street; But things don't really get going until after 11. We'll show up at 11ish and be fashionably late" laughed Rhonda. Barry thought that gave them a "mere" six hours to get ready. He apparently had said "yes, I want to go" and did not know about it. As if on queue, Rhonda added, "that is, if you want to go." Some things don't have to be said but Rhonda said it, "think of this as a debut or "coming out" for Kitty." Just when Barry was starting to THINK that he was being manipulated, Rhonda brought out a flask of Genuine Kentucky Whiskey and Barry KNEW that he was being manipulated. And so another evening for Kitty began.
Strangely, Leslie had little to say; almost as if, the conquest had occurred and it was over. Rhonda and Barry were pretty much left to themselves and as they consumed the alcohol, Rhonda continued to coach Barry on how to be Kitty. Always carry Newports or similar cigarettes. It can be sexy, lighting as cigarette (Barry didn't have the heart to tell her that neither he nor Kitty liked cigarettes) is a conversation starter and less chance of talking like a guy. How to hold a cigarette, how to ask for a drink; how to hold a drink; how to use mirrors in the room to check makeup, etc. how to smile; how to sit; how to stand; what to say to just about anyone. Etc, etc. and finally, Rhonda sensing that Barry was getting bored out of his mind, added quietly, "and what to say and do if and when hassled by the police." That got Barry's attention. OMG!!! Would they make Kitty sleep with the canine patrol dogs? Undress for a police lineup? Call his mom? Call all the neighbors? Barry's mind raced and he paid close attention to Rhonda's advice.
As evening approached, Barry went into the bathroom and started the long ritualistic transformation to Kitty. Barry always looked in the mirror and saw a boy in a dress. The sight turned him on, however, he didn't see himself the way others saw him. He would always apply too much make-up and if given enough time in front of a mirror, he would turn into a Picasso nightmare. He always had to tell himself that less is better. Anyway, his new friend and mentor, Rhonda, was a reality check. About an hour after he started, Barry started to really get that Kitty feeling again. She was starting to come out and take over. As he stepped out of the bathroom, Rhonda, who had been waiting patiently to use the make-up counter and bathroom, simply laughed. In her most sarcastic Brooklyn accent she bellowed, "Hey, you look like Dracula's daughter the morning after. Wash that crap off your face" Then, she just shook her head and grinned.
Kitty became Barry in a dress almost instantaneously. He kind of bowed his head and turned around to start over. However, he did have time to notice that Rhonda looked quite a bit older without make-up; old enough to be his mom. She was wearing a pinkish slip and bra and skimpy robe and clearly was a real woman. No doubt about that, the boy thought. As he washed his face thoroughly, he realized that he needed her help. He called through the door, "Rhonda, please feel free to use the bathroom and I really need your help." That was all he had to say. Rhonda, walked in, smiled and closed the door. There was nothing sexy in the smile, just one old gal trying to help a new gal.
Rhonda reminded Barry that Kitty needed to learn how to apply her own makeup and in less than ,oh, 3 or 4 hours. "Remember honey, you have to bring out your best features, not hide under a ton of makeup." Kitty a licensed and successful beautician, worked on the boy, yet again. Barry sensed, as he started to disappear behind Kitty's persona, that Rhonda loved to be with him, but not as his valet forever. He reminded himself that he had tipped her $15 the first time they had met and paid Maria and her a total of $230 for a complete makeover. He had better learn quickly or be broke.
Rhonda moved quickly and effortlessly. Kitty needed a break and lit a Newport. In the back of her brain, she realized that Barry would never have done that. As they sat for a moment a chatted, Kitty could see Rhonda visibly become interested in just about everything that Kitty did. The way she rolled her eyes, her smile, the way she tossed her hair after the matching fall was fitted into her teased hair. Barry didn't really understand why. He didn't see the dramatic difference. He loved the way he felt when dressed as Kitty, but Kitty was amazed how people seemed to love everything that she did. It was almost creepy to the now hidden Barry. Was he jealous?
For the first time Kitty was wearing a mini skirt in public. It was a leatherette outfit imported from England and someone had given it to Leslie who gave it to Kitty. As a one piece mini, Kitty had to be very careful or give everyone on the street a free show, especially when she sat down (or stood up). Kitty liked low heels because they did not make her look too tall and they were easy to walk and dance in. Anyway, it was a kind of shiny black with just enough cleavage. Rhonda murmured, "Not bad." A real compliment by her standards.
Before they left, Rhonda made sure that Kitty wore black panties over the one piece nylons. Attention is good, too much attention is not good, Kitty thought. She noticed that her blue eyes kind of sparkled by keeping the eyeshadow to a minimum and her naturally long lashes were more than enough in a soft brown, instead of the jet black she had used. She had a light complexion. False eyelashes might work in a light brown, but black false eyelashes screamed, "DRAG QUEEN!."
Kitty and Rhonda slowly walked the three or four blocks to Monte's. It was about 10:15 PM and not nearly as late as Rhonda had hoped. Kitty noticed that people actually smiled at her as she passed. Rhonda would say "Hi" and Kitty merely smiled as they walked together. Barry, far in the distance reflected on how no one ever smiled at him. Then again, he never smiled at anyone. Kitty, on the other hand, loved the clicking sound on the sidewalk that their heels made as they walk through the cooling night air. The sound seemed to echo on the walls of the buildings despite the city noises around them.
Monte's place was a one bedroom apartment with a terrace. Monte was still at the Club Purple emceeing the Drag Show. It occurred to Kitty, that Monte was so hip that he would be showing up three hours late for his own party. As they entered, there were at least 30 to 40 people gathered in various little cliques making small talk. Kitty noticed as she removed a small shawl and placed it on the arm of a nearby couch, that many eyes were on her. She pretended not to notice and engaged Rhonda is the smallest of small talk.
Out of nowhere a couple of guys came over and kissed Rhonda on the cheek. They smiled at Kitty and as she pulled out a Newport, two lighters materialized as if in unison. It was kind of funny and Kitty giggled and the guys laughed. "A friend from Queens?, asked one. "Sort of", smiled Rhonda. The small talk continued for about five minutes and Rhonda whispered something in one of the guy's ears. Instinctively, he almost shouted, "You have got to be kkkkidding!" and stared at Rhonda. Kitty, knew what that meant and wanted to crawl into a hole. Why would Rhonda announce that Kitty was not what she appeared to be?
The guys excused themselves and left to join another group. Kitty wanted to shout, "You traitor!! I don't want to be looked upon as a freak!" But Kitty did not want to lose her composure. Rhonda sensing Kitty's glare, asked, "Whatsa matter, hon?" Kitty asked with moist eyes, "Why did you tell those guys?" "Tell them wha?" asked Rhonda reverting to her best Brooklyn speech pattern. "All I said was that a mutual friend had something for them and all they had to do was call, bring $150 and pick it up." She added, "Oh! You thought that I ratted you out, huh? Well, those guys are sissies anyway and they would never be interested in a hot mama like you." For the second time in 5 minutes, Kitty wanted to crawl in that hole and die. She just grabbed Rhonda's elbow gently and said, "I'm sorry, sugar." Sugar? Barry would never say that, she thought. Rhonda nodded, enough said.
The crowd was getting larger and louder. Room was at a premium and Rhonda and Kitty had staked out an area near the bar. Doc Feelgood came over dressed in a psychedelic Nehru suit that accented everything that should not be accented. Kitty couldn't look at him without giggling. He mistook her giggles as a come hither thing and smiled, "My dear, you look ravishing. I am in awe of your beauty." Kitty knew that he was full of it, but she loved it! She retorted, "Kind sir, your are the essence of chivalry!" The Doc beamed and Kitty deep down knew that she had the fish on the hook, but did she want to reel him in? It was just too easy for her.
At 12:15 AM with great fanfare the host, Monte, made his grand entrance. He came over to all his guests and said a few words to each. Monte was the kind of guy who was every woman's confidante and girlfriend. And straight guys laughed at his jokes, albeit nervously. Monte came over to Rhonda, an obvious favorite and greeted her with "Hi, sugar." Hey, that is my line thought a smiling Kitty. Rhonda turned to talk to another guest and Monte asked Kitty if she had seen the Drag Show to which she replied, "Yes it was wonderful." (Actually, she had to shout due to the noise). Monte continued, "Please tell all your girlfriends in Queens about our show, The more the merrier." It suddenly dawned on Kitty that Monte had not "read" her. Maybe it is the lighting, Kitty thought. Kitty debated whether to let Monte in on who she was. Why should I? Thought Kitty and just quietly smiled.
Kitty was really amazed that she was perceived as so personable. People laughed when she laughed. People smiled when she smiled. People wanted to stand next to her. People obviously enjoyed her company and she theirs. She knew that there would be heck to pay when Barry comes back. He would not have even been invited to this party. She put the thought of Barry aside and just tossed her head back and laughed at inane jokes. Kitty seemed to sense that she could light up a room. She had no clue as to why, however, she did not want the music to stop.
But the evening slowly faded as dozens of partygoers drifted off into the June night. Back to the Bronx, to Brooklyn and wherever and back to their real non-hip, non in-crowd lives. Kitty remembered Barry's graduation and idly wondered if his mother would even show up (mean thought, of course she would). Kitty did not drift off because she was now kind of part of the scenery of the Village. Put away in a coat closet until another great party when she would be brought out like the ice chest of cheap wine or the chips and dip. Kitty had to put those thoughts out of her mind. She was who she was (well, kind of). Kitty found that by smiling, speaking softly and only at the right times, she could listen to her inner voices and carry on multiple conversations and people just thought that she was the greatest! Why? Why ask why?
As is was getting close to the time to leave, Rhonda smiled at Kitty, "Do you realize that at least a dozen guys and at least a few girls either asked for or hinted that they wanted your telephone number and address? That may be the all-time record." Kitty just smiled, the most humble smile that she could muster. At that moment, as Kitty was having her shawl placed on her shoulders by a guy who just happened by, Monte approached with a broad smile, "Well, princess you were party central tonight!" Kitty thinking that he was speaking to Rhonda, just didn't look up. Monte, looking a bit hurt, just stood there. Kitty, realizing her faux pas, put her hand and arm in Monte's and whispered, "Forgive me. I am honored that you would invite a poor girl like me from Queens to this great party." Kitty cringed at her own corniness but Monte seemed to eat it up. Kitty was learning that girls can get away with murder as long as they are pretty, humble and charming.
Monte added just as they were leaving, "We will have to talk. Kitty I found out who you were and I am just blown away. Please come and see me tomorrow…not too early, sweetie." Kitty nodded, but had no idea what he was talking about. She couldn't stay because Barry's high school graduation was coming up and it was just easier to nod and say goodnight.
By the time Rhonda and Kitty left, the streets were relatively quiet. Kitty was tired. Her makeup was starting to feel close and the girls were just too tired to talk. They walked slowly and in silence. Rhonda grabbed Kitty's hand and whispered, "Now that was a REAL costume party!" Kitty smiled and ignored the whistled and cat calls of the young guys passing in cars who passed by. Rhonda had taught Kitty that any contact on the street could involve the police and guys in dresses always lose no matter what.
When they reached the apartment, Leslie was there with the other dancer from the club. By far, the two prettiest girls at the Club Purple. The other dancer was dressed in an impossibly provocative mini skirt covered with sparkles. She looked like a neon sign in a dress. She was leaning back in her chair scratching her chest and drinking something that may have been coffee. There were two other obvious Drag Queens that had deep voices and nasty dispositions. Kitty was taking off her shawl when one of the nasty Drag Queens said, "What are you looking at bitch?" Kitty was taken aback. Rhonda tersely commented to the nasty Queen, "Fuck off!" Kitty had never heard Rhonda curse. But her demeanor and tone said that she meant business. The nasty Queen retorted, "Go back to Queens, you Fag Hag!" Was that what Rhonda was? Wondered Kitty. Is that why she was so caring of Kitty? What was a "Fag Hag" anyway? The confrontation was over because Rhonda firmly dragged Kitty into Leslie's room. Kitty wondered why Leslie who had made love to her the last time they had met, just said absolutely nothing.
Rhonda and Kitty got undressed and took off their makeup with cold cream. A truce seemed to exist because the Drag Queens in the other room did not bother them. However, both girls were tired and without much talk, climbed into Leslie's queen-sized bed and fell asleep.
By the time Barry awoke the next morning, Rhonda was gone. Barry dimly remembered that Kitty had promised to visit Monte. Reasoning that it was Kitty's promise, not his, Barry put it out of his mind as he needed to go home and get ready for graduation. Not much to get ready for. Maybe an aunt or two will call. Maybe a present. Maybe nothing but show up, get his diploma and leave. He could honestly say that although he had no enemies at school, he had no friends to share the moment. Yet, it was time to graduate.
The apartment was empty again. The smell of stale smoke was clearing as someone had opened all the windows and let the air in, Barry went in and showered and changed into his guy stuff making sure that all visible signs of Kitty were either gone or camouflaged. He left and had coffee at a "Chock Full O' Nuts" place down the street. The Village was waking up, the early arrival tourists had cameras, the street vendors were setting up and Barry was getting on the subway to go back to Queens.
When he arrived home, the house was empty (no big surprise). However, his mother had left a letter for him on the table (a letter was a big surprise). It turned out to be a greeting from his government to register for The Draft.
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