BE FOREWARNED. The following story contains sexually explicit material not suited for those who have not yet achieved the age of maturity. If you should fall into this category, do not read further. Consult the laws of your community to clarify if you are eligible to read adult sexual material. The theme is transsexual. If this type of reading matter offends you, read no further. Go do something else.

 

Armed Forces                    by: Virginia Kane                    © 1996. All rights reserved.

 

PART THREE

Chapter One. Back to work.

"You’re late, Tony. However, I understand that you visited wit your parents this evening. Ms. Donier mentioned it to me. It’s about time, from what I understand. We figured you might be late, so I asked the evening shift attendant to stay on until you arrived. He was willing, so it wasn’t a problem. Things are slow tonight."

As soon as she said that, Miss Regan, our shift supervisor, touched my right arm above the elbow. I didn’t realize it was happening, but got a warm sensation again and sensed that it was okay to be late, but didn’t understand why. Usually, tardiness was frowned on because it put an extra load on the staff that was going off duty. They were tired from working and had to stay on until relieved. Lately, everyone that came in contact with me, without my knowing it, seemed to be able to direct my attention. They’d get me to do their bidding without my realizing that they were in complete control over me. Yet, I knew it, but somehow I didn’t care. I was willing to go along with whatever they said for some reason. Agh! So what.

"Let’s talk for a few minutes, Tony. Things will be slow, and I have some news for you from Ms. Donier. I’ll just let Mike know that he can leave, now. Meet me at the coffee machine in the visitor’s lounge."

"Sure, Ms. Regan. Do you mind if I drop off my duffle bag at my locker, first? It’s a bit heavy to be lugging around al night."

"Oh. As long as you are going to your locker, you see to Mike. Tell him he can leave now. I’ll stop at my desk while you do that. I’ll meet you in the lounge in ten minutes. How’s that, Tony?"

"Okay, Sure." She turned and walked away. She sure looked good for a mature woman. She kept herself in good shape. I wondered how the nurses all could be so fit and trim. They didn’t work hard, not physically, leastwise. That’s what the orderlies were for. We did the huffing and puffing for them.

I quietly opened the door to the staff room for night attendants, where I kept my things and slept. Basically, it was where I lived for the time being. Mike stirred in the bed. "Hi, Mike. Sorry I was late. Thanks for covering for me. I’ll do the same for you when I can. Just let me know if you have a date for a show or something that conflicts with your work schedule. Ms. Regan says you can leave anytime you’re ready."

No problem, Tony. --- I hear you’re starting stress counseling with Dr. Evers. I see him every Tuesday. He’s good. You’ll like it."

"Yeah, but I drew Dr. Sims. I got into a mess with my folks. It’s straightened out for now, but I think I’ll still want to talk to her about my career goals." --- "Say, does everyone in this department know what everyone else is doing?"

"I suppose. It’s a tight group, with lots of caring and sharing. Career goals, you say? What have you got in mind, Tony?"

"Well, I didn’t have any inkling of what to pursue yet, until I got this job. Now, I might consider entering the pre-med program, just like you."

"Really? Did you know that Dr. Ever, Dr. Sims’ boss, has a pre-med research program going? It has something to do with sexual orientation adjustment. He wants me to become a part of a therapy group. Say, you might be asked, too. It sounded exciting, but I can’t do it. I’ve got so many darned classes; I can’t devote any more time to outside activities. It does offer some scholarship grants and college credits, too. If you get asked and join up, let me know how it’s going. You seem perfect for it, if you know what I mean."

"How do I seem perfect for it, Mike? I haven’t heard about it yet."

"Well, for one, look at your build. You’ve got a trim, small stature and almost no facial hair. With your long blond hair and long lashes and fingernails, it wouldn’t take much for you to adopt a feminine composure. Would it?"

"What? What kind of program did you say this was?"

"It’s a research thing to determine how people can adjust to various aspects of living as the opposite sex. You know, men acting like women, and vice-versa. It’s a very popular, new study field about lifestyle changes that women and men encounter since women no longer stay in the old traditional roles society has been dictating for the last several centuries, based on their sex. Don’t you know anything about it? Think of it. --- Free tuition!"

"No, I didn’t know about it. Do all the people who see Dr. Evers and Dr. Sims get asked to take part in it?"

"Naw, only if they qualify and want to volunteer. Could get you a free ride to med school if you’ve an open mind. I’m overloaded, myself. Beside, I’d have a hell of a time qualifying with this Adam’s apple and nineteen-inch biceps of mine. They still want me to be involved to measure my male reactions to the trans-gendered participants. I could just see me dating you if you got involved. Wouldn’t that be a scream?"

"Yeah."

"Say! You’re really thinking about it aren’t you? --- I was only joking about dating you. --- Hey! Don’t let me scare you off. ‘To each his own’, I always say. Fact is, I kind of wonder what it would be like to date a guy in drag, just to see. I hope you don’t mind my saying you’d be a natural for it. I mean, jeez, I wasn’t trying to be insulting or anything like that. I only meant that you could pull it off if you wanted to, because of your size and fair features, and it might be fun to get a free ride through college for getting dressed up like a girl and report to them how people react when they find out you’re a guy, under all the fluff.

"Yeah."

"Tony --- Tony ---. Hey! You with me guy?" Mike suddenly pokes me in the right arm above my elbow. I swooned, fainted and slumped onto Mike’s bed.

Just then, Nurse Regan walked through the door. "There you are, Tony. What kept you? --- Tony? --- Mike, what happened?"

"I don’t know, Miss Regan. I was mentioning Dr. Evers’ research program to Tony, and he fainted! You’re a monitor in the program, Miss Regan. Did I say something I shouldn’t have? Is Tony part of the program and I’m not supposed to know?"

No, Mike. It’s nothing you could help. I think Tony is a still a bit young and wasn’t ready to hear about ‘Program T’, yet. He might not realize things like that go on in science. He’ll be alright. He’s coming around."

"I’m sorry, Miss Regan. I didn’t know he was that sensitive."

"Well, Tony didn’t know it either. I guess he does, now.

I was supposed to tell him his stress counseling sessions are to begin tomorrow. He isn’t scheduled to be offered any candidacy until he has a complete physical, is screened psychologically and then, if he qualifies, he’ll be properly advised of the program’s clinical goals and that all the participants’ activities are voluntary. If he joins, it will be with total discretion. His anonymity and participation would be treated with utmost respect. I wonder what his reactions will be when he wakes.

Stick around, Mike. It may be interesting. Just on thing though. Keep your mouth shut. I think you’ve said enough already. He’s coming around now. Help me to put his feet up on the bed. Tony, --- Tony, --- can you hear me?"

"Oh, --- Miss Regan. I was talking to Mike, and suddenly got dizzy. Sorry I was delayed in meeting you at the visitors’ lounge area. "

"When you didn’t show up at the lounge, I came looking for you here after waiting for you for a while. What happened?"

"Well, I had a pretty long day. I mended some fences at home with my parents. It must have taken more out of me than I figured it would, I guess. Then, Mike started to tell me about some research program Dr. Evers is conducting. I guess I passed out."

"Tony, did what Mike told you have anything to do with your fainting?"

"No, I don’t think so, ugh, well,,, maybe,,, Oh, I don’t really know."

Tony. Listen carefully. Tell me what you remember Mike telling you." Miss Regan touched my arm above my right elbow. I knew I could trust her.

"Mike said Dr. Evers is conducting a program for transsexuals to see how they behave in women’s roles and that I would look good in a dress if I volunteered for the program."

"Well, it may sound simple, but the program has a lot more substance to it than Mike may have led you to believe. For example, all women and men have some aspects of the opposite sex. Some have more potentially than others. This program involves exploring ways that purposely heighten some aspects of the opposite sex while subduing aspects of the natural gender to study the reactions the subjects may experience when they are subjected to such influences.

Shall I continue, Tony?"

"Please do, Miss Regan. You make it sound a lot different from what Mike was talking about. He was saying he wondered what it would be like to date a person who participated in such a study. He said dating would be a part of the program."

"That isn’t what happens, Tony. We gather information from temporarily modified subjects and from a like number of control subjects to measure the effects of the chemical influences we employ. We need to verify how the data is different from control subjects to establish valuable, reliable, predictable changes in behavior. Some social contact with mentors of the same sex is used to examine the participants’ reactions.

We’ve already determined that most women deal with certain types of stress in different ways than men do, with greater ease. We need to determine just how women do it, so that our information can be used to devise ways for men to be able to handle those types of stress with equal aplomb. Men seem to be susceptible to becoming violent from extreme stress, unlike women.

If we measure how the same stress patterns in men can be changed over a period of time under various chemical and pattern adjustment influences that we use in our gender aspect modification therapy, we can find clues to ways to alter chronic psychological illnesses like severe aggression in men and prevent violent crimes from people of either sex suffering from extreme inner anxiety.

Using several proven to be safe and pleasant techniques that will not endanger the studied subjects, we monitor their reactions to the daily stress they encounter. As they progress in the program, we then monitor how the influences used change reactions to the same stress elements. The subjects normally are only requested to reveal information that they don’t mind sharing, so no one is forced to reveal things they aren’t willing to divulge. We gather all the data, compare it to results from the other subjects, as well as the control subjects, distribute our observations to a network of research teams world-wide, to analyze and report back to our control center for development. If we can enable men to handle some types of stress better, the chances for them having strokes, heart attacks, ulcers and the like to the levels of women’s risk factors, we’ll make a great stride for the benefit of mankind, Tony."

"You’re doing all that right here in the hospital?"

"Yes, we are. Dr. Evers is leading a team of doctors from each medical specialty in conjunction with the University. Many doctors from all over the country are also taking part in the program, indirectly. It’s quite exciting!"

"Gee! It sure sounds like it!"

"Well, Tony. You have an early appointment with Dr. Sims at 7:00 AM. That’s what I was going to tell you over coffee. Your appointment has nothing to do with ‘program T’, only with your request for assistance with you own stress related problems. You’re to receive a comprehensive physical exam, as well, before you can start counseling, so you’ll need some rest. We can’t have you fainting during the exams. I was going to recommend you switch to decaffeinated coffee so having coffee during your shift won’t keep you from getting your rest.

If you’re interested in the research program, ask Dr. Sims to provide you with a profile questionnaire in the morning. Maybe you’ll qualify.

Mike, I know you’re off duty, but things are pretty quiet tonight. Can you take over Tony’s shift, or should I call for a replacement? Tony is going to need the rest. His exam tomorrow will most likely take all day, and I don’t think he’s had much sleep over the past few days.

"Sure, Ms. Regan. I can handle it. Is it okay to stay here with Tony in the attendant’s room? I’m a light sleeper. I’ll use the pillow buzzer. Page me if you need me."

 "Sure, Mike. That’ll be fine, so long as you two don’t stay up B-Sing half the night. Tony needs the rest, and I mean it!

I’ll get a wrist buzzer for you, Mike. That way there’s no chance for the call alarm to disturb Tony. I’ll be back with it in say --- half an hour. By then, I expect him to be asleep.

Sorry that I can’t get you a sedative, Tony. It may affect the results of your exam tomorrow." With that, Ms. Regan touched my arm above the elbow, and without recognizing it; I began to feel very tired. Ms. Regan turned off all the lights.

"Remember, you two. I expect Tony to be asleep when I return." She left.

Neither Mike nor I was aware that Ms. Regan retreated down the hall a way and removed her low-heeled loafers, then crept quietly back to just outside the attendants’ room, and stood quietly, eavesdropping on us.

After a minute of silence, I whispered. "Hey, Mike."

"Yeah, Tony?"

"What do you think of ‘Program T’, now?"

"I still can’t take on any more load, Tony. My schedule’s jammed, pal."

"I didn’t mean for you, Mike. I mean, what do you think about their ideas. Do you think they’re doing it to make guys volunteer to act like girls?"

"Naw! That sounds too weird, even if it’s a clinical project related to stress, like Ms. Regan says. It sounds dangerous to mess around with peoples’ genes, man. How can they alter the subjects’ genes without messing up their heads, too? I think stuff like that could bend your brain, Tony…

Like, how do you act when you look like a fox, but still carry the ole ‘soft salami’ around? How does it affect getting a ‘woodie’? Do you dig chicks or do you get the hots for a bull stud, instead? Maybe you’ll swing both ways after you get the behavior modifying medications. Stuff like that can scare the shit out me man, even if I’m only an observer. ---

"Tony, ---?"

"Yeah, Mike?"

"You --- thinkin’ about doin’ it?"

"Doin’ what, Mike?"

"Volunteering for that program. Program T?"

"-------- I dunno. ------"

"Tony? --- Can I ask you a real personal question?"

"Sure, Mike."

"Are you gay?"

"Who? Me? Hell, no! I’m a one-woman guy. Louise and I have been going steady since we were in the third grade together, Mike. I never even thought about being gay ---ever! Did you think I was gay?"

"No… No… Honest! I just had to ask because of the way you reacted when we first started talking about Dr. Evers. They way you looked at me, nervously, when I mentioned his research program, it seemed to me you I discovered a big secret of yours. Then, when you passed out, I thought it was because you caught on to my discovering that you wanted to try it out, especially when I said you’d be a natural for candidacy, and laughed and said that I could date you, and that stuff. At first, I didn’t really know what to think. I’m really sorry I caused you to faint, man."

"Forget it. Apology accepted. I’ll be honest with you, Mike. When you said I was perfect for the program and could easily adopt a female composure, I got excited. It turned me on, I don’t know why, but somehow, to think that you see me as a guy who could like other guys. Then I thought about what you said, and wondered if that has something to do with my not pushing my girlfriend into being more amorous with me, like most guys do. Could I be slightly gay and not realize it? I never thought about that possibility! Agh! I doubt it. I love Louise. How can getting a little excited by hearing about some kinky guys in women’s clothes mean that I’m--- gay?"

"Naw! Kinky notions like that get me fired up, too. It’s normal, man. Being gay means you only like guys, instead of girls. Sorry, Tony. If Louise is your main squeeze, you’re hetero. Dressing up like a woman, or getting turned on by the idea only means you’re kinky. Lots of straight guys do it. Got to do what turns your crank, man. Go for it! Do like the ‘Worm’ does. You know, that guy that used to be with the Chicago Bulls. He does stuff like that all the time, and he’s straight. Some stuff he wears is outrageous. Look at the way he wears his hair."

"Aw, that’s for the publicity, Mike. Lots of celebrities do outrageous things like that. I don’t know why. I’d never want anyone to know I did the things they do. I’m embarrassed over my getting excited and passing out from hearing about that stuff from you, Mike. Say, can I ask you something personal, too?"

"Sure, Tony."

"Were you serious when you said you thought it would be fun to go out with a guy that dressed in ‘drag’? Why? ……

Mike? Are you still awake?"

"Yeah, Tony. I’m still awake. I was just thinking back to just before you passed out. I might as well be honest with you, Tony. My cock was as hard as a rock, trying to picture what you’d look like with longer hair, a set of tits, some heavy make-up and swinging your hips in a pair of high heels. If you do volunteer, Tony, I’ll take you out, ----- just so you can tell me how it feels to wear girl’s clothes. Maybe I can find the time to join the therapy group, like they asked. That is, if you want me to join it.

Do you, Tony? …… Tony?"

"I guess so…. Sure… for the scholarship money. Mike, I … gotta … get…sum…sleep."

 

 

Chapter Two. The Exam.

 

"Good morning, Dr. Sims. Am I early?"

G’ morning, Tony. No. However, we do have a few minutes to talk before we begin the exam. I had a brief talk with Ms. Regan before she left work. Seems you had an interesting evening, didn’t you?"

"What did she tell you, Dr. Sims?"

"She advised me she had to provide you with an appropriate outline of one of our research programs that I was going to mention to you today, after you take your physical exam. Somehow, you learned about ‘Program T’ from another orderly, and not in the proper manner. It’s getting harder and harder to keep improper impressions or rumors about this very scientific program within the professional confines of this medical community.

I can’t believe Mike would be so careless. He was told to not discuss the program with anyone who wasn’t directly involved, and then, only after being assigned to a therapy group. Now, I’ll have to cancel his candidacy. It seems he doesn’t know how to keep sensitive issues to himself."

"But Dr. Sims, Mike was told that I’d be in the program. He assumed it was all right to talk to me about it. He said his schedule was overloaded and he was going to take a pass on the group therapy assignment, until I said that I was going to join. Then, he said if I would join, he might want to, as well."

"Really? Well, I’ll report that information to Dr. Evers, and see if it alters his opinion of Mike’s potential. Tony. Do I have your permission to tell him what you just told me? It may affect Mike’s candidacy."

"Sure, Dr. Sims."

"Tony. Are you attracted to Mike in any way?"

"Attracted to Mike? Me? Oh. I think I know what you mean. No, we were just talking last night in the orderly room. Between us, we determined that we’re both straight, but the idea of him dating a crossdresser, if it was me, sort of intrigued him, that’s all. He was merely curious about how I’d look, I suppose. He offered to help me if I decide to participate in the research."

"Uh huh, I see. Well, I’ll include that exactly the way you just said it in my report. We’ll see what comes of it. Let’s talk about today’s physical exam. At this point, you won’t be able to participate in the program, yet. The law requires all participants to be of age. For some participants, Program T may involve stress research related to sexual encounters. Even if the participants are open minded about casual sexual experiences, we won’t allow anyone to take part in that type of encounter if there is the slightest shred of evidence that a law is being violated. But, here’s what we can do to get started, though.

As you now know, your contacting us for stress counseling coincided with our current search for candidates to Program T. When we first met, you briefly admitted to me that you have a fetish involving crossdressing. The stress you claimed it causes is one of the reasons you decided to ask us for stress counseling. The consent form signed by your parents yesterday enables us to proceed with the physical exam portion for determining your eligibility before you reach the age of eighteen a few weeks from now.

We will save some time by completing the tasks common to your stress treatment and Program T qualifications now. We’ll do all the inquiries we need for new volunteers in the orientation phase as well. In fact, we’re going to do a full battery of tests to see if you qualify for advanced phases of the program, too. It’s a bit more involved than the normal physicals, as we must be sure you don’t have any SRD’s and no major maladies that would interfere with the program. Besides all that we want to know if your physical and psychological attributes coincide with other specifications, as well. We don’t want to offer the program to you, until you are of age, but why wait until then to evaluate your candidacy? If you’re not interested in volunteering, let me know now, and we’ll cancel the additional testing. Okay?"

"I’m interested. I slept on it last night. I’m not sure, but I’m interested."

"Good. Dr. Korrick will be in shortly to explain all the tests. None will hurt, unless you are very sensitive to the needle. We can start as soon as you get undressed behind that curtain and put on the hospital gown waiting for you there for you. I’ll be in shortly to draw some blood."

As soon as I stepped behind the curtain and saw the sheer, short, flowing pink gown with puffy sleeves and abundant lace hem, I exclaimed. "Oh, Dr. Sims. This is a woman’s gown!"

Dr. Sims stepped in and touched my arm. "Yes, Tony. I know. Would you rather have a drab, backless, cotton, androgynous hospital gown?"

"No, I guess not. I might as well get used to the idea. I wouldn’t be of much use if I can’t handle someone seeing me in a woman’s gown. What will Dr. Korrick think, though? Will he expect to see me wearing this kind of gown? I admit wearing one isn’t new to me, but I’ve never had anyone see me in something like this. I only do it in my room, in private."

"That’s one of the things we’re trying to determine today, Tony. It’s a part of the qualification exam. Dr. Korrick will be taking some measurements as well as your vital signs. We’ll be able to observe some of the effects of her having contact with you. Now, be seated and extend your arm, palm up. I’ll need several samples of your blood, darling. Now, be still."

Dr. Sims was efficient at taking my blood samples. I could barely feel the needle. When she was done, a lovely brunette entered the cubicle and smiled at me. "Hi, Tony. I’m Dr. Korrick. Shall we get started?" Wow! In high heels, she was at least four inches taller than me. She was beautiful, to boot! I was awestruck!

My eyes got as big as saucers. I gulped and started to shake. I wasn’t ready for a pretty young woman to see me in a short, pink nightie. I turned beet red and became extremely agitated. I looked around for something to cover my growing problem, but found nothing."

"Don’t be shy, Tony. I’ve seen it all, both ways, and many stages in between." The touch. I could trust her. "To help you to relax with me here, Tony, let me tell you a bit about myself. I am a resident physician now, but I also was a subject in the program, until this past June. You could say that we’re both a couple of ‘sisters’, so don’t let my presence upset you. Does my sharing my secret with you help you any?"

"Are you really a guy?" There I go, being stupid. "Oops, sorry, Dr. Korrick. Sometimes I have trouble blurting out things that might be insulting."

"No problem, Tony. Let me say that I’m the same person I was back when I was first born. I chose to enhance the person I could become, so that I could be of help to the many people who, perhaps, may not have to suffer because I chose to assist in the scientific advances we are developing. How I came to appear as I do and how the program has assisted me isn’t important at the moment.

What’s important is for you to see people as they appear and accept them, as they want to be accepted, not how you feel how certain people should behave or how they have changed due to some program they are participating in.

When you learn more about what makes you comfortable and happy, then you can direct some of your efforts to what your heart desires with greater ease and come a long way toward relieving your stress. Can you think of a better way to utilize your preference for fine fabrics and perhaps learn a few other feminine skills, then channel your interest to very important goals? You needn’t answer. That’s merely a rhetorical question for you to consider, Tony. I’m here for your stress counseling preliminary evaluation. Dr. Sims feels you can be a potential candidate for our research study, so we’ll attend to both issues at the same time.

Stand up on the scale for me, please. No, please don’t stretch. Stand in a relaxed state. Comfortable?" I nodded. "Good." She took a tape measure from her pocket. My "woodie" subsided as I tried to relax at her urging.

"Now, let’s see. Weight: 148 lbs, height: five foot seven and a half, blonde hair, blue, no greenish eyes; color even, with no evident deficiencies. Your complexion is light with a slightly pink caste, nose high, with no septum deviance, lips shallow, chin cleftless and smooth, beard light, neck fifteen and a half, about a four inch rise, with a normal slope, ears small with pendulous lobes, shoulders square, chest thirty seven, biceps fifteen and a quarter, waist twenty-nine and non protruberative, navel inset, buttocks shallow at thirty-one, groinal mons firm and normal, penis extends to six and half when aroused, testes smooth, ugh--- make a note to test for any lymphatic accumulation in the thigh nodes. Thighs at the groin are an even twenty, make that twenty and a half, mid-thigh normal slope to fifteen, calves thirteen, ankles nine, foot size nine-c male. There, Gloria, do you have it all? Ideal!

"Yes, mum." Someone was behind the screen taking down everything that Dr. Korrick was reciting while she took my measurements.

"Now, Tony. We’ll need a few reference photos of how you look now for the program’s files; kind of the "before" shots you see in diet commercials on television. Don’t worry. They’re kept in a safe. Jerry is a professional photographer and he doesn’t bite. He couldn’t care less about seeing you naked and you won’t need to worry about wearing the gown. To him, it’s a job Tony, so try to relax and think of something else while he steps in to takes a few pictures of you. --- Okay to come in now, Jerry. Jerry, Tony. Tony meet Jerry." We shook hands and nodded to each other silently. I felt foolish standing naked in front of the two, but I had no choice.

Jerry was proficient and wasted no time. "First I’ll take a close-up of your face, yes, another, now a profile. Thank you, Tony. Hold it. Two more. Hold your chin up of me. Yes, like that, nice. Now, I’ll back up a bit and get a full frontal torso, turn ninety degrees for me, Tony. Hold it. There. Turn ninety degrees again, and again, full rear, and again, full profile, and again for the left side and again for another frontal shot. Yes. Now the left side again, and bend over to your waist with you’re your palms down at your waist, elbows out. Perfect! Hold that pose while I get a profile shot, now stay bent over and turn ninety degrees. Good! Turn again, and once more. Okay, Tony. Please stand up and raise your arms over your head. That’s it. Now, put them on top of your head. Yes, like that. Now stand still, while I get one more from the side and rear. Fine.

That’s it, I’m done. Thank you, Tony. You’re a good photo subject to work with." He turned to Dr. Korrick. "I’ll get these developed and let you know if I need to retake any. I’ll buzz you, Dr. Korrick."

"Thanks, Jerry. I want to be sure the photos come out okay before noon, if possible." Jerry left the cubicle as Dr. Korrick held up the sheer gown and helped me to put my arms through the sleeves. "This gown looks very nice on you Tony. However, I think it’ll look much nicer on you once I get you something to help make your waistline look a bit trimmer. I’ll be right back and then, we’ll have some real fun. You don’t mind, will you?" Dr. Korrick touched my arm and I nodded negatively, still too shocked to refuse her.

She left the cubicle, and I could hear her addressing the person who took down my measurements. "Yes, Gloria, this one will do nicely." She came back into the cubicle with a white, delicate waist cincher that had long, thin garters attached. "Here we go; this will fit you perfectly." She reached into the gown and put the cincher around my waist. "Suck in your gut for me, honey. This is going to look lovely on you. More. Come on Tony, suck it in." She finished taking the slack out of the laces in the back of the cincher and tied them.

"There. That wasn’t so bad. It’s twenty-five inches, Gloria. That will be all for now. You can leave, Gloria." She paused for a moment, caressing my cinched waist while she listened for her assistant to leave the office. "Now, we’re alone, Tony, and we can have the bit of fun I promised, now that you’re properly attired to proceed.

Everyone except Dr. Sims has left, so you don’t have to worry about our privacy being interrupted. I’m going to touch your penis and testicles now, Tony, but I prefer that you try not to get aroused, as this is a clinical exam to check your reactions while you resist."

She touched me gently, and stroked my soft penis, examining it closely. She then massaged and probed my testicle sac, as well. "See, I won’t hurt you. Your reaction is normal; you are excited, but you can control yourself enough to prevent any ‘accidents’. That’s good. You’re doing fine, Tony. Now, turn around and face the side of the examining table for me. Good, now bend over at the waist and lean on the table with your arms extended, so that I can examine you internally. That’s a boy."

Dr. Korrick put on a latex glove that was as thin as a condom. She lubed my butt with something that caused it to go numb, and inserted a finger. Whoa! That felt strange. She touched my arm. I sensed that I could trust her. She removed the first glove and put on another. It looked odd. It had only a thumb and three fingers, one larger between the other two. She then inserted the larger finger into my anus. Ohhhh! It felt so huge!

I couldn’t help myself. I lost control and began to squeeze my anus around the thick invader. I felt my pulse hammering away at her finger as my growing penis responded. "Reaction to anal stimulus is normal, no polyps or hemorrhoids present with digital insertion. Subject’s sensitivity to digital anal examination is normal and unstressed."

She withdrew her probing finger. "That part of the exam wasn’t so bad, was it? We’ll take a short break now, Tony. Have a seat and I’ll be right back." She left me all alone in the cubicle to ponder the purpose of her invading my rectum, hoping the reason was not because she feared that something might be wrong. She returned after a few minutes without any comment, as if what she had done was an ordinary occurrence during a physical examination. I didn’t ask her about it out of fear of sounding immature or ignorant. There must have been a legitimate purpose for the probing.

"Dr. Korrick, why do you make all of your findings out loud? I noticed that you do it after each step."

"See the video cameras up there in the corners of the cubicle, Tony. We video record the exams for further study in the event we later discover something unusual, to see why we didn’t discover it initially during this exam. Smile into the cameras for the other doctors, Tony. Don’t give the presence of the cameras a thought. It is necessary, and I assure you the recordings are kept securely locked up and can only be seen by members of the research staff for study."

She examined me further, looking into my eyes and ears with the same medical instruments I recognized from having other physical exams.

She used the pointy hammer to check my reflexes and asked the same questions other doctors asked in the past. She recited her findings out loud as she went along. Finally, she said she was finished and Dr. Sims would return shortly to guide me and ask some questions. "Bye for now, Tony. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of each other very soon."

My head was spinning. Goodness! They were video recording me in a fancy nightgown, and wearing a waist cincher, getting examined, as if it were perfectly normal. How could I ever explain any of it to Louise or my parents? What was I getting myself into? However, it is for the purpose of research, and I have no control over what they had me wear, so I can’t be held responsible. No one but the researchers would have access to the videotapes. I’m certain it wouldn’t be misused. It must be okay, I guess. If the program could provide medical advances, who am I to judge? I hope they find that I can qualify. It could be interesting.

Dr. Sims returned as I was contemplating. "Hi, Dr. Sims. That didn’t take long. Dr. Korrick seemed pleased. Why did she need, uh, never mind. Was she really a guy when she started?"

"How Dr. Korrick approaches the lavatory is none of your business, Mr. smarty pants, and her exam is only the beginning, nosey bones. If you keep asking so many questions, we’ll never get finished.

If you must know, Dr. Korrick is also a dietician. As each doctor examines you today, and there will be several, each will check out items necessary for their contribution to the total examination from the viewpoint of their assigned specialty. Then we all will consult with Dr. Evers to develop an overall therapy strategy for you, first to treat your stress, and then to determine if you can be included in the research program. We’ll leave nothing to chance and are very thorough, here. Now if you don’t stop being so inquisitive, I’ll have to spank your pretty bottom for you."

"Okay, Dr. Sims. I’ll be good." I knew she was just kidding around with me and liked her casual approach to not answering my questions, directly.

Next, Tony, I want you to complete a questionnaire. Take as much time as you need, and fill out as many answers as you can. Don’t rush. If you don’t understand a question, circle it, so we can discuss it’s meaning. Some of the questions are included to confuse you, so you probably won’t be able to answer them all. Don’t let that bother you. It’s a profile questionnaire, not a graded exam. Press the call button on the wall when you are done."

"That gown suits you, Tony. You’ll be all alone for a while. However, if you get chilly, you can put your whites back on. Of course, if you prefer, you may continue wearing the pretty gown and I’ll bring you some mules and panties to match. Since we know all about your fetish, we’d like you to discover how it feels to dress up in the presence of others. That way, you can get used to being seen by others in the program while you partake of your hobby. Not a soul here will ridicule you for doing it, and you can try to guess how many others you will meet that share your interests."

"I’d like to change back into my whites, if you don’t mind, Auntie Em. I’m still quite shaken up over being asked to wear it for Dr. Korrick’s exam." She touched my arm. --- Do you want me to not change into my whites, Dr. Sims?"

"Perhaps you should change back into your whites now, Tony. You’ll have plenty more opportunities to become accustomed to wearing some finer clothing, later. That gown may distract you too much while you complete this questionnaire."

"Oh, Dr. Sims. I just remembered. Ms. Regan said to ask you about a profile questionnaire for Program T. Is this the one she meant?"

"More questions. No, this is a standard stress management survey. Now, get crackin’ and fill it out as best you can.

As I started, Dr. Sims left.

 

Let us now leave Tony’s mind to let him concentrate on the questionnaire.

 

 

Chapter Three. Updating the Dept. Head.

 

As Tony began the questionnaire, Dr. Sims left to meet with Dr. Evers and review the first of the videotapes with him….

"Do you see? In only six weeks, we’ve reinforced Louise’s implementation of the arm contact suggestion technique to the highest level we’ve ever been able to achieve. Either Tony is truly a wimp, which I doubt, or the subliminal audiotapes we had superimposed on the music he listens to in the attendants’ quarters are more effective on him than we anticipated.

Everything is coming together nicely. His eighteenth birthday will be two weeks from tomorrow. Classes start at the university this coming Monday. His high school records are on the way here. As soon as we confirm his S.A.T. scores are high enough to allow him normal entrance into the pre-med program, I suggest we enroll him. I’d rather not have to apply for a waiver and need to wait for approval. Let’s not wait until he’s eighteen for that. Let’s get him enrolled in college before he signs up for the research program. We’ll be able to drop him if he doesn’t qualify physically, without too much difficulty.

He’d have a hard enough time in his first semester, getting used to his intense class load without a late start. That’s why his stress counseling is so critical now. We purposely designed the first semester’s curriculum to weed out laggards. Let’s make him feel competent to deal with that stress. With our help and adequate tutoring, he should be able to handle both, the rigors of Program T and the pre-med workload."

"I agree, Dr. Sims. Louise will be pleased to have him in medical school with her. They’ve got ten solid years of co-learning behind them. With that, and our training methods, and the extra credit they will both get from their participating in Program T both of them can complete the accelerated pre-med program in two and half to three years. Hopefully, they’ll both attain their doctorates in a little over six years, perhaps seven, at the most. As soon as our staff completes the clinical exams today, and confirm that he can participate in Program T, I’d like you to suggest contacting Louise to him. He hasn’t spoken to her in nearly a week. If she doesn’t reinforce her dominance over him regularly, our too-frequent use of the arm-touch method may overtake her influence. That may be counter-productive.

"Yes, Dr. Evers. I think his special contribution to Louise’s accelerated education will enable them both to begin their clinical case analyses with dysfunctional patients in six or seven years, as you suggest, just as you and I did twenty-some years ago. Think of it. We’re cloning ourselves, professionally. The chances of finding suitable candidates like Tony and Louise with the right motives; incentives, with compatibility and the proper generation separation from us must be a billion to one. This time, with our knowledge and with their unique physical attributes, in ten years, we may finally be able to produce a miracle: hermaphrodites that can sire and bear each other’s own offspring. We’ll surpass Einstein in notoriety."

I’m not concerned about notoriety; succeeding in what has never been done before is the important issue, Emily. Our genetic annalists feel very confident that by the time Tony is ready, we’ll have the rejection problems solved and be able to locate a suitable organ donor to augment Tony’s missing or inadequate, latent, non-functional female reproductive capacity, while fully retaining his male functionality."

"This time we will succeed, Dr. Evers. We’ve worked so hard, for so long. There are many risks involved, so many things that can go wrong, but all the essential elements are present. Tony and Louise are both perfectly healthy specimens. To think, Tony feels he needs stress counseling. I feel I need it more than he does. The entire program’s future hinges on Tony’s development. We can’t take any chances that he won’t be deterred from joining the program. If he does, we’ll be set back years.

By the way. When you last spoke with Mr. Court, Tony’s father, did he give you any reason to suspect that you are Tony’s genetic father? At our last weekly meeting with Tony and Louise’s parents, he seemed preoccupied. Now that Tony is almost mature, he has to be wondering whether your close resemblance to Tony is something more than a mere coincidence. He may soon figure out why you enticed him and his wife into adopting Tony when he was an infant. He may also figure out that his participating in the early studies was a potential cause for his own infertility."

"Yes, we took a big chance in my being directly involved in those weekly meetings. Now that Tony is back on track, I think we should revert to my not having further direct contact with his family until the right time, unless absolutely necessary. One thing for certain: I don’t want Tony to see or hear me, yet. Our voice inflections and facial expressions are too similar to be mistaken. It was extremely difficult for me to disguise my voice and limit my participation in those meetings. His father must be aware of the many similarities, or perhaps his memory of our youth in college together must be suffering a mental block. Tony definitely does take after me. The great similarity is too striking to be coincidence."

 

 

Chapter Four. The test.

 

STRESS MANAGEMENT PROFILE QUESTIONNAIRE

 

Answer each question by relating how you feel, rather than by what you have learned academically. This part of the questionnaire assesses how you express yourself with others and how subject matters affect you. If more than one answer seems appropriate, rank your responses in order of significance. 1 = most significant, 4 = least significant.

1) When someone yells at you, you should:

A) Yell back.

B) Ignore them until they get hoarse.

C) Ask them to calm down.

D) Try to determine why they are yelling.

 

2) Anyone older than you has the right to:

A) Tell you what to do.

B) Receive your respect.

C) Be offered your seat on a bus.

D) Punish you.

 

3) When something is not working well, you should:

A) Put it aside, it isn’t worth being upset.

B) Put it aside until you are in a better mood.

C) Concentrate harder. You can handle it.

D) Admit to yourself that you can’t handle it.

 

4) Girls handle stress better because:

A) They can get away with fooling people better.

B) People expect girls to handle stress with ease.

C) Boys don’t have self-control.

D) It’s genetic. Don’t worry about it.

 

5) Some people, like corporation presidents, are more capable of being in control and can accomplish more because:

A) They have qualified employees to help.

B) They get lots of practice.

C) They don’t have to work, only make decisions.

D) They are geniuses. That’s why they are in charge.

 

6) When you become angry, you can:

A) Think of pleasant things to calm down.

B) Get away from whatever is bothering you.

C) Yell at someone or throw things.

D) Make your anger a tool for your use.

 

7) Parents aren’t always right, but they’re always:

A) In charge, so live with it.

B) Always due your respect.

C) Not to be disagreed with.

D) Capable of changing their minds when influenced properly.

 

8) When in school. You should:

A) Be on your toes or someone will take advantage of you.

B) Remember the purpose of your being there.

C) Relax; class will be over before you know it.

D) Learn as much as you can, forget about good grades.

 

9) Always try to outdo others, because

A) They’ll consider you better than themselves.

B) Performance is the measure of success.

C) To become a smarter person.

D) They’re inferior.

 

10) Everything seems to happen to you because:

A) You’re not as lucky as others.

B) You can’t handle pressure.

C) Murphy’s law.

D) The astrological date of your birth.

 

11) Women are really in control, because:

A) They are genetically smarter.

B) The world is designed in their favor.

C) Feminine wiles.

D) Men let them think so.

 

12) Women should always be obeyed, because:

A) They’ll treat you rotten if you don’t.

B) The world is designed that way.

C) It’s the best way to win their favor.

D) They use dominance to gain control.

 

13) The best way to handle stress is to:

A) Get sexually aroused.

B) Understand that stress is a natural thing.

C) Avoid it.

D) Attack. Get it out of your system.

 

14) To ward off stress, so it never occurs, you can:

A) Learn what causes it in you.

B) Don’t try to accomplish too many things.

C) Go to counseling.

D) Don’t let it bother you, and it goes away.

 

15) Stress occurs, because:

A) You don’t pray enough.

B) You’re not lucky.

C) It just does, for everyone.

D) It’s nature’s way of telling you that you goofed up.

 

16) Stress is hard to cure, because:

A) No one understands how you feel.

B) You can’t predict it.

C) You’re a male. Only women can handle it.

D) You don’t know how to let go.

 

17) Having sex is the best way to relieve stress, because:

A) It takes your mind off of problems.

B) It doesn’t require thinking.

C) It doesn’t really help, just feels good.

D) Works better than anything else.

 

18) Stress relief is different for some people because:

A) Human nature provides ways, like children’s crying.

B) Women can use their emotions to ease it, whereas men are too self-conscious about emotions.

C) Some people study and learn ways to cope.

D) It’s the same for everyone.

 

19) Men should learn to handle stress by:

A) Trying to think like women, they can handle stress better.

B) Pass it on by taking it out on someone else.

C) Never let them see you sweat.

D) There’s nothing you can do about it.

 

20) Fantasies help relieve stress because:

A) They take your mind off of your troubles.

B) They make you feel good.

C) They usually involve sex.

D) Everything’s perfect in your mind.

 

21) Stress is like pattern baldness because:

A) There’s not much you can do about it.

B) Some have it, some don’t, so what.

C) There are some techniques that can cure it.

D) It affects your head.

 

22) The things that cause stress do because:

A) They’re the important matters in life.

B) They can’t be controlled.

C) No one knows.

D) It’s natural.

 

23) If you could change stress, you would:

A) Study to become an expert at its control.

B) Learn to act like a woman. They know how.

C) Learn what medicines can help.

D) Try anything that makes it go away.

 

Let’s visit with Tony’s mind to check on what he thinks of the exam….

Wow! This is hard. At least, in school, they let you review the subject material before giving a long test. I got three pages done, seven more to go. It’ll take all morning!

I wonder what this profile tells them about me. I can’t figure some of these questions out. I don’t feel comfortable with any of the answers I marked. Maybe I’d answer them differently if I put on that beautiful gown they made me wear earlier. I don’t suppose they’d mind. It might make taking this test a little easier. Yeah, if I wear the gown, I may be able to imagine I was a woman, and could answer the questions in that frame of mind. That’s probably what they expect me to do. (Tony gets up, walks over to the gown, toys with the hem and lifts it to his face.)

I wonder if these cameras are still running. They’re not interviewing me now… I’d better not take a chance. If Dr. Sims wanted me to wear the gown while taking the test, she’d have said so. I better not do it. (Tony returns to the desk, looks back at the gown, shakes his head negatively, and returns to the task of completing the seven additional pages of questions. All of the questions have answers that suggest to him that women handle stress easier than men do.)

Meanwhile…

"He’s been at it for an hour, Dr. Evers. Shall we see if he’s taken the bait yet? Let’s check the monitor on camera 14. There… No, he’s still in his whites. My suggestion to wear tem is stronger than the impulses triggered by the test. Check camera 15. Oh, look. The gown was moved. Rewind the tape. He may have worn it, and then reconsidered. There. He’s getting up, ……

Well. He’s still influenced more by the touch technique than by the written suggestions. We’ll review the tape again later with help from our staff of senior behavior monitors. Let’s find out what insight Regan has. She’s been watching him more closely than the rest of us…"

 

 

Chapter Five. Resuming the Physical Examination.

 

We’re back with Tony.

 

What a day! After completing the questionnaire, Dr. Sims returned to give me the rest of the day’s schedule. The first stop was scheduled at 11:00 Am for something called an upper and lower "G.I.". I never heard of those physical exams before, and for a moment, I was tempted to ask if I was to watch to gay soldiers going "at it".

I decided to keep it to myself, as I didn’t know Dr. Sims well enough to be rude by cracking corny jokes.

What happened instead was something I’ll remember for some time, and I had to explain it later to Dr. Korrick, in full detail. She met me at 2:30 in the afternoon, telling me that she would accompany me to the next several stops, as we were running behind schedule, and had to complete all of the tests by 5:30… She didn’t say why.

Since I wanted to get to know her better, I appreciated her company for the remainder of the tests. I had my skin pinched, eyes puffed at, ears gored, butt shot, feet clamped, arms stretched, waist crushed by a vinyl Boa Constrictor, while on my "tippie-toes", etc., etc. for over three hours. One doctor even made me do the splits for him, just so he could get a "distention calibration", whatever that is.

I was bewildered. Some of the tests I have done before, but most of them were completely new to me. I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out what they were for, but was assured by Dr. Korrick that they were all necessary, and I probably would become familiar with them soon, if I decided to stick around, because I’d be doing them over and over, and might even get to learn how to administer some of them. I didn’t notice how she carefully watched for my reaction to that comment. I was really getting tired of all the poking and probing. If it wasn’t for Dr. Korrick I might have quit. The way she calmly explained them made it all, well, so very interesting.

At 5:10 pm, Dr. Korrick announced that we were back on schedule with time to spare. When all the technicians left, and the two of us were alone, in an examination cubicle, she asked is she could test one more set of reactions. She didn’t need my spoken permission, as I’d done everything I was asked to do, all day, but it sounded as if she asked in order for me to participate fully and respond more carefully. I said: "Certainly."

"Tony, I would like you to describe, in your own words, what preparing for the upper and lower "G.I." was like. Keep in mind that I’m not trying to embarrass you, but need to know how you felt during those procedures. It will help us to assess what you think of while experiencing that particular type of stress. Can you do that for me?"

"Dr. Korrick, I… I… don’t know what you mean. Do you want to know what was going through my mind or what the steps were? I didn’t want to have to tell her what happened. Preparing for the exams was an experience like nothing I had even heard of. It was scary at times, fun, at times, and was highly sensuously arousing for the entire time.

The corners of her mouth curled up slightly, as she softly purred. "Start wherever seems natural, and tell me each and every thing that happened, what you did, how it felt to you, and whether or not you enjoyed it, Tony." With that, she touched my arm above the elbow. I couldn’t refuse to tell her. After all, you have to obey what Doctors tell you to do.

I began by explaining to Dr. Korrick how a nurse that I had not met while doing my job took me to a porcelain-tiled room with a commode, and a shower built into one wall, and long, narrow bench to sit on. The room was large, too large to be just for that one toilet. The nurse said she was going to give me a "Physic" to prepare me for the G.I. exams.

She left me sitting on the bench for a few minutes and returned with a big metal framework mounted on casters that barely fit through the oversized doorway. At the center of the elaborate chrome framework was something that resembled an exerciser, mounted on two sets of independent gimbals at one end, and what looked like a maid’s cart from a hotel mounted at the other end, but with an electronic control panel built into it. The framework also had an I.V. rod, several hydraulic pistons attached to various movable parts mounted around the framework. The attached cart also had shelves built in down below the control panel, filled with supplies.

The nurse instructed me to kneel down on two leather pads, mounted low on a crossbar that swung from one set of gimbals at the very back of the frame, as she went around the thing, locking all of the casters in place to keep the whole thing from moving around... As soon as I knelt down, she directed my arms onto two higher pads mounted from the other pair of gimbals, one pad at either side of the framework. The upper crossbar had handles for my hands to grip onto not quite one foot in front of the pad she placed my arms on. Then she slipped an elastic band of terrycloth over each of my wrists and used thick leather belts to strap my wrists down to the metal frame over where the terrycloth strips protected my wrists, with my hands gripping the handles firmly. She then proceeded to fasten two terrycloth-lined belts over my forearms, so that I could not remove my arms from the upper pads. Once both of my arms were secure, she came around behind me and placed similar straps over each calf, just behind my knees, so that I could not move my legs.

I asked her what the framework was for, and why I had to be strapped to it so securely. She said: "You’ll soon see. The arm and leg straps are for safety until you know how to use the equipment on your own. Doctor’s orders during the training." She then installed four tubular bars with rollers at the very ends, extending outward from each corner of the framework over the locked corner wheels. The extended bars appeared to adequately stabilize the entire framework so it could not accidentally tip over.

She went around to the front end of the cart to the control panel, plugged an electric cord into a wall socket and turned on a switch starting what sounded like an electric motor for a pump of some sort. She seperated the cart from the metal framework, except for a thick, suspended bundle of hoses and wires that extended to the framework from the cart. At the control panel, where I couldn’t see what she was doing, she hydraulically moved the arm and knee pads about a foot further apart, causing me to crouch somewhat on the kneelers, separating my arms and legs almost to the point of being a bit uncomfortable. Then the entire framework rose up hydraulically bout a foot.

I got apprehensive. The nurse came up behind me and rubbed my back, telling me to relax and not be afraid, that nothing was in the least way harmful. She explained that the framework enables a patient’s body to be placed into the proper angles for various different procedures. The arm and leg straps secured me from shifting my body while the frame could be automatically rotated. The framework insured that a patient would not slip and get hurt while assuming various required body positions. The nurse noticed that I was beginning to become agitated, so she was very gentle and recited a long explanation about the machine. Tony recalled in his head the long explanation she gave him.

"This equipment may seem overly elaborate, but it was designed primarily for long-term chelation therapy to implement the use of many medications that are digested by the human body when ingested orally, and rendered useless. Using frequently repeated chelation affords far more consistent results requiring far lower doses of some very expensive medications.

However, this equipment also enables patients requiring frequent gastro-intestinal examinations to efficiently purge all solid wastes much more thoroughly than the old fashioned, repeated enemas did, in privacy, once the patient learns to operate the apparatus properly. With this equipment, a patient can control a thorough purge entirely on his own, comfortably, sanitarily, even when physical movement is impaired from an injury.

The upper and lower gastro-intestinal exams for which you are scheduled required complete evacuation of the bowels. If you are accepted into the research study, you may be expected to have regular examinations, so you will need to be able to operate this equipment on your own to qualify.

Allow me to explain. With your arms secured, you operate the machine by modifying pressure applied to a tongue depressor. The appropriate parts of the framework will properly rotate your body to enable gravity to assist the purge. A pattern of slow rotation will assure a thorough cleansing."

She promised that she’d be careful so as not to startle me until I became accustomed to the machine’s movements. Then she suggested that if I was aware of the machine’s range of movement, I could relax better.

She let the machine slowly tilt my body forward, my arms dropping to the level of my legs. Then she raised my kneeling torso, so that I was in the position of a jockey on a horse. Then, she rotated me further. I felt as if I was on a kneeling bobsled, sliding down a steep hill.

Seeing myself suspended so high made me nervous, so I told her. She suggested a blindfold. Without asking, she quickly covered my eyes with a silk domino mask with lace trimming. "Yes, that’s better. You’ll be able to endure the process comfortably this way, Tony. Many patients always ask for the mask after their first time. They claim their not being able to see helps them relax and makes the procedure more pleasurable."

I heard her humming to herself, even over the humming the electric motor was making. "This equipment serves multiple purposes, Tony. It will help us to prepare you for a lot of tests. For example, after your G I exams, a doctor will slide a long, flexible chord with a miniature tv camera into your throat to examine your esophagus and larynx. We prefer that you don’t interfere with that procedure, so we’ll fit you with a retainer to prevent you from biting down on the camera’s cable. Please open your mouth wide."

I felt her slip in a wire retainer behind my back teeth that kept me from closing my mouth all the way. Then she plied a hard rubber double ring behind and in front of my front teeth that kept my lips open. I couldn’t see it, but I felt that my lips were completely exposed, except for four clips that held my mouth open at the corners.

The outer rubber ring was flat, but the one behind my teeth had a ridge I could feel with my tongue, upon which my teeth rested. The flat part was covered with some sort of paste that was tacky and the nurse rotated it back and forth a bit. Soon, it wasn’t able to rotate any more, and my mouth felt glued open wide, gently but firmly. The combined apparatus felt like a football player’s teeth protector, only the rings protected the lips as well, so I couldn’t bite them. She assured me that nobody she knew of got so excited as to bite down on their own lips, but she wasn’t about to argue with Dr. Evers who developed the equipment.

I wondered what kind of procedures involved would be so unnerving to prompt someone to bite their own lips.

Then the nurse described the next appliance: an "insert" to me. She said it would hold down my tongue and was to be inserted into the lip and teeth rings and over my tongue to keep me from swallowing it and choking on it.

She explained that, once she inserted it, I would not be able to talk until the installed insert was removed. She said she would ask me to respond by nodding my head when everything seemed comfortable. Due to this appliance, no one had ever swallowed their tongue, or even bit their lips, that she could recall, because it worked so well.

"Anyway," she went on, "Orders are orders. I wouldn’t think of disobeying Dr. Evers." She asked if I was ready. I wasn’t, but what could I possibly say? My mouth was fettered in such a way that any response would have been garbled. Besides, Dr. Evers ordered it, so it had to be okay.

She told me to hold my tongue as flat as I could, as she inserted a soft, warm, pliable, curved, hollow tongue depressor into my mouth. It followed the curve of my tongue, all the way to the rear of my mouth. It seemed to be probably well over an inch in diameter, and over three inches long. The part that reached the back of my mouth seemed wider, somehow, and was designed to hold my tongue down flat. To me, it did seem logical, that this thing could easily keep the tongue secure in the correct position to prevent suffocating on it by forcing a patient to breathe through the nose instead of the mouth. Yet, I could still breathe easily.

She hummed again, and touching my arm, she again told me to relax and become comfortable. What choice did I have? She wanted me to become accustomed to its feel, as it was there for my protection. Her pleasant, feminine voice became soft, almost a murmur, as she asked if it was all the way back to where my tongue started to curve downward. I nodded yes. She seemed to rotate the two parts of the ring-insert combination, which resulted in the two becoming locked together into a single unit.

She then advised me that I should breathe normally through my mouth. She also explained that the hollow insert could accommodate the camera devise and the inside of the hollow tube was equipped with special ridges that would prevent the possibility of an unintentional air seal. I pondered the unusual sensations it provided with the outer ring clipped onto my lips, preventing me from spitting the entire works out, and the insert holding my tongue down firmly. My mouth was effectively held wide open, immobile with my tongue pressed flat against my lower palate.

The nurse asked me once again to shake my head up and down if the appliance was uncomfortable, or side-to-side if it wasn’t. I didn’t think it was really bad, but didn’t move my head. I was told to respond in one way or the other. I slowly shook my head from side-to-side nervously, as I didn’t know what reaction moving my head would cause. I could sense the device was well fitted and comfortable. I could easily breathe, swallow and cough, but I couldn’t say anything, except to make a garbled noise.

Next, the nurse said she had to adjust the insert’s size for effectiveness, and that I should shake my head to let her know when I thought it was becoming too large. I felt the diameter of the depressor expand ever so slowly. I got a ridiculous idea, and began to snicker. The nurse slapped my bare bottom, telling me that it wasn’t the proper time to horse around. The expanding tongue depressor or "insert" gradually got uncomfortable and I moaned and shook my head to let her know.

Her lack of any reaction brought me back to reality. Concentrating on the lip ring and tongue depressor, I had almost forgotten the restraints and my helpless position on the framework. I must have looked outrageously stupid on my knees, strapped down, blindfolded, and gagged, with this ring and insert combination spreading my mouth wide-open.

The nurse then said it was time for me to learn the purpose of the tongue depressor and how to control it, as it would require some practice. At that point, I was confused. I was helpless. Whatever could I "control" with this strange gadget in my mouth?

The nurse stroked my back with her hand, soothingly. "Listen carefully, Tony. The insert in your mouth is made of soft rubber and has a sensor that is connected to a valve control. A slight vacuum inside of the insert will cause a valve to open and allow fluid to enter your bowels through a tube that I will insert into your rectum. Be very careful. If you bite down on the retainer, it will not function properly.

The more suction you apply to your insert, the larger it will become, and the faster the cleansing solution will flow into your bowels to clean them.

The tube I will place in your rectum is fitted with an inflatable sleeve called a flow retention bulb. It will expand comfortably upon your initial oral directive and contract when the connection to the sensor is interrupted. The flow of cleansing solution is regulated in response to increasing or decreasing the vacuum within the oral insert. When you completely release the vacuum in the depressor, it will reduce in size, stop the flow, and the inlet valve will close. A second outlet valve will automatically open, and all the cleansing fluid as well as your body’s waste will flow out through a second, larger, elimination tube directly into the toilet.

First, let’s practice how the machine simultaneously provides the body’s rotation in response to your regulating the vacuum before attaching any of the flow devices. Gently apply just a wee bit of suction to your oral insert. Yes, that’s the way. Feel how large it can get?"

I nodded. "Okay, Tony. You’re doing fine, if the insert is uncomfortably large now, I can adjust the sensor to be more sensitive. At your maximum comfortable level of direction, we want your body inverted completely. The machine’s stops will prevent you from going too far and do a somersault.

I want you to apply more suction slowly, but please don’t release all of the suction quickly if you become nervous, or you will spin backwards rapidly."

I applied suction to the mouthpiece and felt myself slowly rotate forward. "Notice that the more suction you apply; the farther forward the machine rotates your body. If you get dizzy, you can lessen the vacuum, but don’t release it entirely, just yet. I want you to vary the suction so that I can fine- tune the sensors. If you reduce the entire vacuum quickly, you will rotate back quickly. So, go slowly until you’re familiar with regulating the rotation.

You only want to be upright in order for gravity to assist in the release of the cleansing fluid and your body’s waste.

To assure removing all waste material, the procedure must be repeated several times until the eliminations are clear. You’ll be able to reach the facemask with your hands when you operate the machine on your own, to check the discharge. I moved your hands out of reach for now so that you wouldn’t be tempted to remove the entire mouthpiece improperly until you learn how to do it correctly.

Since your bowels contain considerable waste at the beginning, you won’t be able to accept much cleansing solution. As more waste is gradually evacuated, more and more solution will be able to enter your bowels to thoroughly rinse it out. After you become accustomed to the fluid entering and leaving your body, you will relax and enjoy the sensations this truly remarkable machine provides. It really turns an otherwise uncomfortable and messy process into a sanitary, efficient and pleasant experience."

Without making further comment, I felt the nurse begin to massage me at my backdoor. Her finger applied a tacky substance to my nether hole. It didn’t hurt, but felt odd---, imposing. Soon, the sensation seemed warmer and very soothing. Surprisingly, I did not sense a need to expel her finger, as I gently entered me. Then, I could feel her introduce the larger device, similar, perhaps, to the insert in my mouth. I didn’t understand how it feel so large, yet not cause any discomfort.

Boy! She was persistent. It continued to enter my backside. All this time, the nurse continued to whisper soothing comments as she penetrated me. I tried to expel it, but for some reason, my muscles wouldn’t respond. When it was well within me, it seemed to nestle into place, conforming to my colon, or perhaps, my colon conformed to it. Again, I sensed a need to expel it, but when I tried, I couldn’t do it.

Strapped down on my knees, blindfolded and silent, I couldn’t even ask for an explanation for the phenomenon.

The nurse asked me to apply a small amount of suction to the oral insert. As I did it, the oral insert and the other gadget in my backside began to expand, and then, slowly I felt the fluid entering me, and the slow forward rotation began. I immediately felt bloated and got scared. I panicked and sucked hard on the depressor. The kneeler lurched me forward while the fluid entering my backside gushed a torrent into me. Pain from the sudden distention of my stomach gave me severe cramps and I bit down hard on the oral insert.

An electrical shock ran through me like a bolt of lightning! I immediately screamed into the mouthpiece, but could not dislodge it. Simultaneously, I rotated back upright with a jerk, and could feel the fluid gush out of me as I released the suction.

The nurse laughed and said: "Didn’t I warn you not to bite down? You silly boy! The machine automatically returns to the ‘home’ position releasing all fluid at full flow, when you bite down. It also engages an electrical shock to induce you to relax all your muscles. Now you understand why you were strapped in so securely. A sudden jerking motion might hurt you.

Let’s try it again a little more carefully, Tony. You haven’t yet mastered the technique sufficiently. You can learn how to "ride the bull" later on, when you do this on your own. Let’s stick to the basics, for now."

Following her instructions carefully, I practiced applying suction to the "bit" in my mouth. Each time, the rotation became smoother; the cleansing fluid entry gentler, and the sensations that coursed though me from using the apparatus became much more pleasant. My doubts concerning her earlier assurances about enjoying its use began to vanish.

Soon, my stomach was expanding to take in copious volumes of cleansing fluid. At her direction, I was maintaining the highest level of vacuum, until I began feeling uncomfortable from retaining the fluid. She massaged my tummy with her hand, which dispelled some of the discomfort, and urged me to retain the fluid for as long as possible before releasing the suction, so I tired to gently add additional suction. More fluid entered me, bringing more discomfort, then a brief easing, then more discomfort, until the need to expel the fluid became urgent.

"Hold it! Hold it! Don’t release yet, Tony. You’re doing fine. Hold on as long as you can. "

I could feel delightful tremors starting, just a slight tingling sensation from deep within me. It began to feel good, even with the discomfort present. It was warm, soothing, comforting and exciting all at the same time. Then I got severe cramps and released the vacuum, but gradually. The kneeler rotated upright, and I expelled the fluid in one, long, painful gush!

The nurse cautioned me to take it easy. I wanted to attain that nice tingling sensation again. I just had to. I applied suction. This time it seemed that a lot more fluid entered me. I increased the suction as more fluid and more of the rotation, until I was totally inverted with my feet pointing straight up into the air. Wild, vibrating, sexy sensations began to flow throughout my body. The nurse again urged me to hold it, hold it, hold it, and hold it, while I continued to experience the captivating rush of sensations like I’d never known before. My entire body buzzed with sensual energy. I wanted some release, a sexual release. I suddenly realized my rampant penis was at full erection! Wow!

I didn’t dare let the nurse know how this thing was making me so excited. I feared I might ejaculate right in front of her. I let the suction subside. The reverse rotation began, sensation diminished, fluid expelled, and a warm glow filled me as my stomach shrunk and my body relaxed completely. It was a very satisfying experience.

"You’re not done yet, Tony," exclaimed my nurse! "But, you are getting the hang of it. I’m now going to attach a small external catheter to you. You may have to expel some fluid from your kidneys, as well. No sense in you making a mess on the floor." She slipped what felt like a tight latex sheath over my hard penis. She knew! I could feel something like a hose brush up against one leg. The nurse said I could pass water from my penis as well as from the anus and should continue repeating the process for the next half-hour, at which time, she would return to administer a dye laden barium based fluid which I would retain during x-rays of my bowels.

For a half-hour, I continued to apply suction, rotate, hold, tingle, bloat, rotate, and expel. Then relax for a minute and repeat the entire process. It was addictive. When the nurse returned, she observed that my expulsions were running clear, and jokingly asked me to stop enjoying myself for a few moments. She did something to the fitting in my rectum. She then asked me to apply suction again. As I did, I couldn’t tell much difference in the fluid entering me, except it was cooler as it entered me. She had me take in as much as I could, and told me to hold it, suck, hold it, suck, and hold.

When I could stand no more, and was quivering with delightful tension, she told me to release. The kneeler rotated, but the fluid did not expel, causing some mild discomfort. My stomach was still distended.

She rapidly removed my mask, unlocked the insert with a careful twist, and removed it from the dual-ringed teeth protector attached to my lips. With a quick look in a mirror on the wall across the room, I discovered the outer lip ring looked like very large, but feminine lips, held in a large "O" as I had imagined it would look, but was a bright shade of red that made it appear that I was wearing lipstick. It still held my mouth wide open. I knelt there staring at my face, transfixed. I thought suddenly, that I appeared to be very sultry and was flooded with a sense of desire for the apparition before me.

She unstrapped me, dressed me in a plain hospital gown, set me in a wheelchair and whisked me off to radiology. On the way, I noticed the marks on my wrists and claves from the straps. I was sure the doctors and lab technicians would know where they came from, and thought about how my face must look, with the big red lips seductively opened wide in a provocative and very sexy appearance. How embarrassing!

I noticed my stomach was still bloated, too. To the casual observer, I must have looked like a pregnant girl, going off to delivery.

The doctors and lab-techs were kind and polite, acting just as if nothing they saw was anything out of the ordinary. My emotions, of course, were running rampant. The x-rays they took must have made my body seem like that of a very pregnant girl, just like I felt.

My standing up afterwards was a slow and careful process, requiring their assistance. I was physically drained and a new urgency to eliminate was threatening. Still, they gave me another tall glass of the fluid with barium in it and expected me to swallow it while they did more x-rays.

They took me to a chest x-ray machine. They went behind the lead-lined shields, and we all watched strategically placed monitors as a bright image of the fluid navigated my throat down to my stomach where it merged with the criss-crossed image of fluid that the nurse pumped into me from behind. I stood amazed at the level of technology used, while the doctors and technicians watched intently, obviously looking for something I knew nothing about.

At 1:30, I had my throat examined directly with a tiny video camera. They called it a laryngoschophy. They sprayed a strawberry flavored cocaine derivative into my throat and, a few minutes later, sent in the camera. I did feel it enter, but it wasn’t painful. Didn’t even make me gag. I was able to see my own vocal chords and then beyond. Then they inserted it further, and reversed the view. I could see the underside of my vocal chords. Wow! My mind reeled at the technology used.

The next stop was for pulmonary function. They wanted to see how deep I could breathe. They made me blow real hard into a clear plastic gadget they attached to my teeth retainer. It looked as if I was wearing scuba gear that was hooked up to a clear plastic accordion-pleated canister. Blowing into this sci-fi rig for the next fifteen minutes under their close observation resulted in a computer generated graph. I haven’t the foggiest idea of what it meant or what it has to do with stress counseling, but all that equipment and their computers was as impressive as hell.

"Well, Dr. Korrick, that’s about it. I never saw or felt anything like that weird exerciser or saw anything that even resembled what they let me see on those monitors while they examined me."

"Did you learn anything, Tony? Was it interesting?"

"It sure was! I was truly amazed! It was very intriguing and most exciting to see how efficient the hospital is. I really enjoyed the experience. Hospitals sure can use modern science and technology to advantage. It must have cost millions to develop all that paraphernalia. Up to now, I thought that medical science was mostly curing people with drugs and surgery; from what all I learned the past month or so while doing my job in cardiology."

"All those advances were the result of diligent research, Tony. I’m glad you enjoyed learning about them firsthand. Perhaps you can appreciate the efforts of people who are engaged in research, behind the scenes. We don’t get much credit for all the extensive development and painstaking testing that’s required to make machines like that universally functional.

For instance, the diverse oral control ring you used has evolved from what was once a rudimentary clamp to hold down a patient’s tongue flat in a wide-open mouth. Now, the same modern device has several applications.

With the aid of volunteers, earlier models were refined and more special features for a host of applications were incorporated in the basic design."

"I still can’t get over how that weird thing made my mouth look and feel… Then there was that weird test I took this morning, and the gown Dr. Sims said I should wear. Did she mention to you that I crossdress, sometimes?"

No one ever saw me do it. Today, you and doctor Sims---"

"Yes, Tony. She told me beforehand. She felt I would understand some of the causes for your stress better than a doctor who is unfamiliar with that particular aspect of your behavior.

Tell me, Tony. Did you enjoy using the exerciser?"

"That was a totally unique experience in of itself. That thing made me have the weirdest sensations---"

"Did you enjoy being retrained, too?"

"The restraints? Oh---, I don’t recall. They were necessary for safety."

"Well, using restraints are often necessary and often assists in observing reactions to stress. Most stress can cause involuntary reactions we refer to as hyper-motility. Careful monitoring it reduces the risk of it developing into some major functional problems, like esophageal reflux, ulcers, and many other maladies. There are many causes for illness we still don’t fully understand and must use every means available to advance science.

We developed the ‘exerciser’ to perform comfortable bowel evacuation for people with involuntary muscular motor activity and for those patients with serious nervous disorders that can’t predictably control muscle response sufficiently to self-administer waste elimination by utilizing a normal enema device. As it stands, attendants must administer enemas that the average person can do the same procedure in the privacy and convenience of the home, without embarrassment or assistance by an attendant.

Instead of waiting hours while a patient is on a restricted diet, we could dramatically pare the wait-time required prior to introducing irradiated barium for x-rays. It’s a truly important breakthrough. Unfortunately, the present model hasn’t attracted sufficient interest to be commercially mass-produced due to a complex maze of social conventions, insurance clauses and certification procedures imposed by the various regulatory agencies.

We still have to carefully limit the equipment’s trial use to advancing our research to expand it’s potential for uses in additional different clinical applications before the stoic medical profession recognizes its merits. The amount of rigmarole we must contend with to put such a device into mass production is staggering. It may take us several years. Each element is carefully evaluated for its utility value, as well as the entire apparatus.

The orally controlled insert that enables a patient that has impaired muscle movement to use the equipment independently is fraught with controversy. Some clinicians vehemently insist an attendant must assist such a patient; that the equipment is too complicated for patients to use without oversight.

Once a patient is thoroughly instructed properly, the continued use of an attendant isn’t an absolute necessity. A patient can be taught how to prepare himself for examinations faster, easier and with virtually no expensive technician to aid him.

With the shortage of qualified staff and the vigilance of administration to cut unnecessary operating costs, the equipment has definite potential to future health care, once it is refined and proven effective. In the event that you are accepted as a participant in ‘Program T’, you may be frequently examined gastro-intestinally to measure medically induced changes in the way your body functions improve. Using the equipment will make those exams less intrusive on your schedule and your diet.

We’re now working on a newer model, which would automatically detect when a complete bowel cleansing is achieved. It could then start up an attached, compact, open magnetic radial imaging machine to produce a video recording of the images obtained. A panel of doctors could examine the results at any time. Of course, some new control valves would need to be installed in both inserts to administer the trace fluids at the appropriate times. Doctors can watch the effect of simultaneous trace fluid introduction instead of attending x-rays in two separate procedures as they do now.

Videotaping would afford repeated observation or a patient’s condition for potential referral to specialists in the event that primary care physicians determine such specialists’ opinions are warranted. Think of the massive cost savings. Think of how much precious time could be saved for both, the patients and physicians. With computer links, the videotapes could be

Examined by several doctors from any location. The potential savings and advancement of patient care is staggering.

Would you feel threatened by being asked to assist in the development of such modifications to the equipment you used today, Tony?"

"No, I don’t think so, Dr. Korrick. Uh,--- I, --- may I ask you something?"

"Sure, Tony."

"Have all the ‘Program T’ participants used that ‘exerciser’?

"Well, if you mean: ‘Have I used it?’ The answer is yes, you see, I helped to develop it. It’s used for many other programs besides gastro-intestinal exams. It did cost several thousands to develop. It would not have been attempted just to use in that one application, Tony. It wouldn’t have been practical. Such an expenditure warrants further applicability."

"Like what?" I asked.

Dr. Korrick broke out in a wide grin. "Oh, no. We could be here all night. Time’s up, Tony. I have a report t write, and a dinner date. You have plans to meet with a young lady named Louise, and yu still have to work your shift tonight."

"Does everyone here know my schedule better than I do?"

"No, not everyone, but some of us like you so much, we’re interested in seeing that you make progress here, and become more involved. Does that worry you?"

No, in fact, I appreciate it. I like the work, the people and the fascinating things being done. I’d like very much to ‘get more involved’."

"I know about your date with Louise tonight because Louise and I have worked together on occasion. We have known each other for a long time. I advised her to pursue a medical career. She’s very intelligent, and she’s a very caring person. She’d make a good doctor. Maybe, someday, you will, too. What do think about that?"

"I’m not sure I could handle it. I have this fear of screwing things up. If I was more sure of myself, I might consider it, but unless I was confident that I could see it through, I wouldn’t want to impose on my folks to spend a small fortune to find out I’m not cut out to be a doctor. I’d really like to check out more options in the field to see if some lower positions that I could qualify for are available. I don’t have lofty notions of becoming a doctor. I doubt if I’d be any good, or even qualify. That’s why participating in the research, with a scholarship to pay for the college tuition seemed appealing. My folks won’t admit it, but they can’t afford to send me all the way through medical school."

"You know, Tony, Louise has already enrolled in medical school. She’ll start next week in pre-med. She’d decided a long time ago when she was a candy striper. She thinks the world of you, and has told me how you two have been going steady since you were quite young in school together. She’s afraid to discuss it with you, because you might walk out on her like you did on your parents. I know you wouldn’t do that, but she does fear the possibility.

She’s also been approached to participate in ‘Program T’. She’ll be in a monitoring group. You might be able to work in the same group with her. Think of all the fun it would be if you two could work and continue to study together. You’re a real lucky fellow, you know."

"But, Dr. Korrick, that was my main concern about volunteering. I don’t know how Louise will react. What would she say if she knew I agreed to dress up like a girl? I mean, oh drat! What’ll I do! I love Louise! She might think I’m some kind of pervert or freak! I CAN’T LET HER FIND OUT! IT MIGHT TURN HER AWAY FROM ME. IT HAS TO BE KEPT SECRET!"

"Tony! Relax! … If you don’t want to talk to her about it at this point, that’s perfectly okay. You’re not accepted yet. Don’t put so many carts before the horses. I notice you do that a lot. Anyway, don’t say anything about it yet, and see how things go between you tonight. Maybe Louise will tell you all about the program. She may even want you to participate in it with her. How do you know? Then, if she asks you if you are interested, it will look as if it was her idea. After all, this is an important research program where a lot of people are giving freely of their time and effort to advance science. She couldn’t possibly think ill of you for volunteering. Could she?

Just don’t blurt anything out. Besides, she’ll probably want to let you in on her recent acceptance into pre-med, first, so let her. Don’t let on that I have already told you, dummy. Let her have her big surprise for you. Don’t spoil it for her. Play it smart."

"Oh, I get it. All I have to do is let Louise talk me into it. Dr. Korrick, you’re wonderful! I could kiss you for that advice!"

Suddenly, I turned beet red. She carefully observed my stupid reaction, knowing that I wasn’t sure if she was born as a boy or girl. Omigod! What if she is still a man!

I just offered to kiss another guy!

Her eyebrow raised, she smiled and responded. "Tony, I’m really flattered, but don’t you think Louise would be upset with us if she found out we did something like that?" She waited silently for my reply…

I looked straight at her, trying to figure out if AI was right about her birth sex. I really couldn’t detect anything male about her. Her arched eyebrows weren’t bushy, nor looked as if they’d been trimmed. She had no trace of a beard shadow on her chin that would lead anyone to suspect she had ever needed to shave. Her hair was obviously her own, not a wig.

My eyes scanned down to her chest, and those lovely breasts peeking out of her white lab coat. The coat poorly disguised the delicate white lace trim on the pink bra that excited me so. I just couldn’t believe she was ever a man. Her small waist, gently curving hips, and those gorgeous legs had to evolve naturally. How could they possibly change a person so much, chemically?

Our silence became unnerving, until she finally drew me into an embrace and put her long arm all the way around me. Suddenly, I knew! I didn’t understand how, but I knew that Dr. Korrick was once a man! Still I wanted her to hold me. Her lips seemed to quiver with anticipation. Still holding me she said: "Well?"

"Uh,,, ah,,, Dr. Korrick? I,,, uh,,, was wondering. If I get accepted in the program, will I have to kiss a guy? Mike thought the participants that dress up like girls are expected to act like girls, too. You know,,, do some of the things with guys that girls do, sexy things, like petting and,,, touching them in certain ways to get them excited. I sincerely doubt if I could do any of those things with a guy. I never even tried heavy petting with girls."

"If you were asked, could you do those sexy things with a girl, Tony? For example, do you think you could kiss a girl or engage in heavy petting with a girl that you weren’t in love with, to provide useful data on how it feels? Even preparing for a date with a girl can be stressful. Can you remember how uptight you were the first time you tried to kiss Louise?"

"Yeah. I guess I was uptight the first time. I’ve never really gone too much further than kissing Louise, though. Is it different with someone that you aren’t in love with? Most people think it isn’t right to toy with someone’s affection if you aren’t serious. I never did it, and I don’t think I can. I think I’d feel as if I’m being unfaithful to Louise."

"If you were asked to kiss or pet with a girl to evaluate your stress Tony, it wouldn’t be a violation of faithfulness to Louise, and if it were done to establish necessary behavioral data for the research program, it would be a clinical assignment. Sometimes, activities like that can be useful. Would you like to try to kiss me? You said you wanted to kiss me."

"I really would, Dr. Korrick, just to see what it’s like, ah,,, I mean,,, if you want me to, just to see if I should consider volunteering. I wouldn’t be of much use to the program, if I couldn’t."

"Well, Tony. I would like to kiss you, too. An innocent kiss is certainly not going to make you love Louise any less, but I won’t kiss you if you’ll feel guilty about it. I’ll only kiss you if it’s my lips you want on yours, just for the thrill of it. There’s really no reason for you to feel guilty. Okay?"

"Okay. I won’t feel guilty. It’s just to see what happens."

Her soft lips touched mine, and I swooned from the immense pleasure that engulfed me. I still couldn’t think of Dr. Korrick, as once being a guy, so, naturally, kissing her was okay…Her kiss was warm and tender, just like Louise’s kisses. I could feel my libido responding. My kissing Dr. Korrick didn’t make me feel guilty at all. Kissing her was only making me hard. It was better than getting dressed up and imagining I was a girl! I wondered. Maybe I could kiss a regular guy, if I was dressed up as a girl.

I thought about it as her lips continued to press firmly against mine. So what if Dr. Korrick was once as a guy, too. She wasn’t one now. She sure doesn’t look or feel like a guy. I’m not so afraid that I couldn’t kiss anyone who looked this nice. Oh, oh! What if after I join this program I start looking as good as she does? Would other guys want to kiss me, too???

OMIGOSH! MIKE!!!!!!

 

To be continued.

 

 

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