Mondo Kool drove his Porsche into the parking garage and screeched to a stop next to the attendant's booth. After checking his list, the attendant put a ticket stub on the car's dash and told Kool to leave it running. Another parking attendant hurried over to park the car as Kool got out and walked towards the brand new building next door. Kool glanced over his shoulder only once, and just in time to see his car disappearing into the bowels of the multi-storied garage.
Everything gleamed and sparkled in the latest A-Nu-U Center to join the quickly growing chain of VR facilities that now stretched from Boston to San Diego. This center in Los Angeles had only been open for less than a month, but it was already the busiest center of the 32 in operation. And considering that A-Nu-U trip was the hottest leisure time activity to come along in years, that was quite a claim.
Kool walked over to the reception desk and gave his name to the young girl seated there. She was pretty enough to be a beauty contest winner, and probably was. They flocked to this city each year in an often vain attempt to 'break into' pictures. While they waited for their big break, they took petty, low paying jobs where someone important might notice them. Kool was informed that a Personal Travel Agent would be with him in just a minute, so instead of sitting down, he walked slowly around the enormous reception area, glancing out the windows that stretched from floor to ceiling. He stopped and turned as he heard someone say, "Mr. Kool?"
"Here, babe."
An attractive brunette walked over, flashed a warm smile, and extended her hand. "Good morning, Mr. Kool. I'm Valerie Lee. I'll be your Personal Travel Agent for this journey."
Kool extended his arm and lightly shook the proffered hand. "Wow. I love the way this trip is starting, but call me Mondo. Everyone does."
"Thank you, Mondo. Please call me Valerie. If you'll follow me we can get you started on your adventure."
Kool followed closely behind as Miss Lee led the way to her office. This gave him the opportunity to appraise Miss Lee's various attributes as they walked, and he had to admit that the view was spectacular.
Once in the office, Miss Lee indicated a chair and said, "Please have a seat, Mondo." Sitting in her own chair, she tapped on her computer's keyboard to deactivate the screen saver and bring up the first menu. "Let's just get the basics out of the way first. Is Mondo Kool your legal name?"
Kool sighed, as he said, "No. It's Wilfred Montgomery Churchill. And before you say anything I'll tell you that I was named after my grandfather."
"It's a good name. Full of character."
"Yeah," Kool snickered, "that was Granddad all right. He was the family 'character'. Mom says that I take after him."
Valerie giggled. "How did you come up with the name 'Mondo Kool'?"
"Some of my surfer buds named me. I can hang ten with the best."
"I see. You must spend a lot of time at the beach."
"I do. My job allows me a bit of flexibility with my daily schedule. I usually go into work about 2 in the afternoon."
"Do you own your own company?"
"No. I work at one of the new dot coms. The internet operates 24 hours per day so it allows me to work at odd times."
"Sounds like us. We operate 24/7 also. Most of our clients come in between 6 am and 10 pm but we get new travelers 24 hours a day."
"It's the way of the world, babe."
"Too true."
Getting down to business, Miss Lee entered all of the pertinent information in her computer as Kool answered her questions. She explained about the medical examination and the preparations necessary to take the trip.
"Okay, Mondo, that covered all of the basic stuff. Now, tell me about your fantasy so that we can set up your trip."
"I want to go to Australia to catch some monster waves. I can't take the time off for a real trip. Round trip travel alone would take two days and I'd be too tired to ride once I got there."
"Okay. Cognizant travel or Normal-life?"
"What do you mean?"
"Cognizant travel means that you know that it is a VR trip even though everything will seem completely real. Normal-life means that you are unaware of your real life. The computer generates a complete history for you and you are unaware that you ever had any other life, until you return. You will remember everything about both types no matter which you choose.
"Uhhh… Cognizant travel, I guess."
"Okay. I'm going to go process your credit disk while you select your body for the trip." Valerie swung the monitor around to face Kool and pushed the mouse towards him. "I'll be back after you've made your selections."
Valerie got up and left as Mondo began reading the choices. The first one said, 'Keep my own body. No changes.' He selected that. With the selection made he was done but he quickly looked through the other screens anyway before leaning back in his chair.
In his position at the dot com, he spent most of his day resolving computer problems, and Kool was a bit of a computer hacker at heart. No sooner had he sat back than he was leaning forward again and reaching for Valerie's keyboard. He pulled it to him and began roaming through the screens on the computer. The mouse didn't allow access to these areas, which is why clients were only offered the mouse. He might have been unfamiliar with the computer system but he managed to find his way around and marveled at the complexity of the system. He wanted to stay and play but it had been five minutes since Valerie left so he decided that he had better stop. Then he ran into some difficulty trying to get back to where he had been. The computer wouldn't let him back to the 'body selection' screens. He started making entries furiously as he tried to recreate his itinerary. Finally, he was back where he had started. He selected, 'Keep my own body. No changes', pushed the keyboard back where he had found it, and sat back in his chair. As his back came in contact with the chair, Valerie walked in.
"All done?" she asked.
Kool just nodded, wiping a bead of perspiration from his forehead.
"Okay. Let's see." She pulled the flat screen monitor back to face her. "You've decided to keep your own body. That makes things simple. I just need your signature on the credit form and the liability agreement and then you're all set to begin."
Kool took the papers and then signed them before pushing them back to Valerie.
"We're ready to go then. Follow me, please."
Over the next hour Kool was given a thorough medical examination. The doctor seemed almost surprised when his urine sample showed him to be clean of drugs. His appearance and manner of speech had led her to believe that he was one of the drugged up beach bums that you can always find hanging around the beaches.
"Mr. Churchill, you are in excellent health." As she made some final notes on her clipboard, the doctor said, "You are approved for your journey." She opened the door of the examination room and motioned to a waiting candy-stripper. "Follow this young lady and she will take you to your waiting VR chair."
"Cool, thanks doc. Say, do you have to go through an examination like this every time?"
"No, Mr. Churchill. After the initial exam we only do a quick checkup every thirty days. In between you are sent straight to the VR wards after completing your arrangements with you Personal Travel Agent."
Fifteen minutes later Kool was being fitted with a helmet, and ten minutes after that he was being immersed into the VR world.
*****
Kool opened his eyes and looked around. He was immediately confused and then shaken. Instead of the sunny, white sandy beaches and crisp, ocean air that he was expecting to find, he found grey stone walls and the foul stench of human waste. All he could say was " Wow, bummer."
But the greatest surprise still awaited him. Glancing downwards he saw that he appeared to wearing a dress. He immediately jumped up from the bench that he had been sitting on.
"Whoa, what is this? Where am I?"
Kool suddenly became aware that there was woman standing next to him saying, "Madame, are you well?"
"What?"
"Are you well? You suddenly jumped up and began speaking so strangely?"
"Who are you? Where are we? Why am I dressed like this? What's going on?"
"Come lie down. You are obviously in distress."
"I don't wanna lay down. What's going on? Where am I?"
"Why Madame, we are still in the Bastille."
"Where's that? Melbourne?"
"No, Madame. We are still here. In Paris."
"Paris? FRANCE?"
"Oui, Madame. But of course."
"But I'm supposed to be in Australia. And what am I wearing?"
"You are wearing the clothes that you were in when you were arrested?"
"No way. I've never worn a dress my life.. Except to that costume party last year, but that was just for yucks."
"Madame, please, come lie down."
"I said I don't wanna lie down. Who are you?"
"I am Bridgette, your maid. Don't you know me."
"Man, I don't know nuthin. Did they give me some drugs or somethin?"
"Who, Madame?
"You know, those folks at A-Nu-U."
"Anuyu? I don't know anyone by that name. I don't believe that anyone has given you anything."
"Look, where are we?"
"We are in the Bastille."
"Okay, you said that before. We are in the Bastille. And the Bastille is in Paris, France?"
"Oui, Madam."
"Look, something's wrong here. I don't belong here."
"Oui, Madam. You should not be here. But the revolutionary tribunal ordered your arrest and trial."
"No, you don't understand. I'm not supposed to be in France. I'm supposed to be in Australia."
"Madame, please come lie down. You are not well."
"Look, I'm not supposed to be here. Tell that Dr. Burgess that I want out. Right now."
"I don't believe that that is the name of the jailer."
Kool wasn't getting anywhere and was feeling more and more frustrated by the minute. He suddenly started banging his fist against his head while yelling, "WAKE UP. WAKE UP, DAMMIT", but all that he succeeded in doing was giving himself a headache. As he hit himself he suddenly realized that the arm that was punching his head was feminine. He stopped as quickly as he had begun, and stared at the delicate features of the hand and arm.
His next action, as realization sank in, was to drop his hand to his chest and then to his crotch. It wasn't until then that he realized that the maid had been calling him 'Madame'.
He suddenly felt his knees go weak. "Those bastards at A-Nu-U did this to me. They made me into a woman. I'm going to sue those assholes for everything they're worth."
"Madame, you are ill. Come lie down. You will feel better after you have eaten later."
Kool allowed himself to be led to a pile of straw in the corner and helped down. Even in the dim light he could see that his clothes were filthy. "Uh… Bridgette, how long have we been here?"
"It's October 15th, Madame. We have been here for about two years now, and it seems like an eternity."
Kool tried desperately to remember his French History but little of it came to him. He remembered that the revolution started around 1789 but little else. There had to be a way out of this. He tried remembering everything that he had been told at A-Nu-U before going under but he couldn't remember any trick for ending the trip early. He lay there trying to figure a way out of this predicament and slowly drifted off to sleep.
Bridgette awakened Kool a few hours later. "Madame, it is almost time for our daily meal."
"Okay, I'm awake. I'm starving."
The sounds of the bolts on the door being pulled back echoed throughout the cell, and the door started to open. Kool jumped up as the jailer walker in with a bucket and ladled two scoops of something into bowls that Bridgette held. Kool approached the man and put a hand on his arm.
"Hey bro, what's happening? Can you help me out here?"
The jailer gave Kool a dumbfounded look.
"Man, I need to get out of here. What'll take to make that happen?"
The jailer laughed. "You'll be leaving tomorrow. They will have a cart waiting for you just before noon."
"No. I need to get out of here today. If I get out of here then I can work on getting back to A-Nu-U."
"Anuyu?"
"Yeah. You know. The VR ward?"
The jailer just shook his head and laughed. "They always go crazy on the last day." He pulled away from Kool and left the cell, pulling the door closed behind him.
Bridgette approached with a bowl of the slop that the jailer had ladled out. "Here Madame. Eat your meal. You must keep your strength up. Don't let them see that they have broken your spirit. You have been so strong up until now."
Kool took the bowl and sniffed at the contents. To say that it was unappetizing would have been a gross understatement. As he looked at it, it appeared to move. Looking closer he saw that something was indeed moving. Some kind of worm or maggot was crawling along the top of the food. Kool walked over and set the bowl down on the bench where Bridgette was eagerly spooning her food into her mouth. "Uh, I'm suddenly not hungry any more."
Bridgette stopped eating and looked up. "But Madam, you must eat."
"No, that's okay. You seem to be enjoying it. You can have it."
"But this will be your last meal."
"My WHAT?"
"Your last meal. They don't feed you on your last day."
"LAST DAY? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"Madame, calm yourself. You have known about this for a week."
Kool composed himself and said, "Okay, I'm calm. Now tell me about this 'last day' stuff."
"Tomorrow is your day to go to le guillotine. Sentence was passed a week ago. Don't you remember?"
Kool replied softly, "I must've forgot." He was already deep in concentration. He had heard once that if you die in a dream, you die for real. What would happen when they cut off his head in this dream world? Would his real heart stop? Would they be prepared to restart it again with one of those shock devices that you see on television? The more he thought about it the more nervous that he became. He wasn't supposed to be here so they couldn't possibly be prepared to save him when he died.
*****
Darryl Evans, Senior Programmer at A-Nu-U, carried a printout into his supervisor's office. "Hey, Pete, I think that I found the problem. I traced the difficulty back to Valerie Lee's workstation. It occurred while she was handling a customer named Churchill. A bunch of bad codes were entered along with multiple redundant command sets. The problem got compounded as other requests got backed up in the system and a number of subroutines were wiped out. I know that Churchill's trip is messed up but I haven't been able to determine yet if any other problems will crop up. I think that I have rebuilt all of the damaged subroutines.
We'd better let Dr. Millar know. He has to be the one to determine how we handle the Churchill problem. How bad did his trip get messed up?
"You won't believe it," Evans said smiling. "Instead of going to Australia to surf the 'monster waves', he's sitting in a cell in the Bastille during the French Revolution."
"Oh, boy. This is gonna be a bad one."
"That's not all. He's in the body of Marie Antoinette."
Pete groaned "Oh, no. What more can happen?"
"I'm not done. Madame Marie Antoinette is due to get her head cut off in a few hours."
Picking up his phone, he punched a few numbers and then said, "Dr. Millar, this is Pete Wilson. We have a Code Orange problem. Can I come up and see you right away? Good. This concerns Valerie Lee. I think that you should have your secretary ask her to come up also. Very good, sir, I'll be right there." Hanging up the phone, he said, "You'd better come along also, Darryl. We may need your knowledge of the system."
"Sure thing Pete."
*****
Kool spent hours walking around the small cell. He was scared. He had never been so scared. He felt cut off from his world and totally helpless. When he was on his board, he knew that the ocean was the master, but at least he knew that he had a little control. Here there was nothing to hang onto. His only hope was that he would wakeup before he was killed.
As the hours dragged by, Kool spent his time both scratching at the fleas on his body or the lice on his scalp, and trying to figure out how many hours had passed since he had arrived. He had only signed up for a 20-hour trip. Of course, that part of the trip could have been messed up also. Damn those people at A-Nu-U.
Despite his attempts to stay alert, he dozed off. He couldn't know that the computer was programmed for normal sleep cycles.
*****
Bridgette awoke her Mistress in the morning. "Madam, you don't want to sleep you're last hours away. You should get up now. I will comb your hair and try to make you as pretty as possible. You should go to le guillotine with dignity."
Kool sat up and rubbed his eyes, wondering if the next few hours would be his last. 'What a way to go,' he thought, 'having your head chopped off while crowds of smelly, unwashed, flea and lice infected, ignorant peasants cheered.'
Bridgette helped her mistress to her feet and led her to the bench. Retrieving a comb with almost as many teeth missing as remained, she began to comb her hair. As the hour to leave approached, Bridgette washed Kool's face and hands and tried to restore her mistress's former regal manner, an impossible task considering the condition of her clothes.
As the jailer opened the door, Kool's nerve deserted him. He began to babble to the jailer that it was all a mistake. That he didn't belong here. He tried to explain that he was only a surfer from California.
The jailer just ignored everything. He had seen it before. Even the nobility lost it when it was their turn to face Madame le Guillotine. He led the former queen out of the cell and through the narrow corridors to the exit where the cart was waiting. Several other prisoners already waited in the cart, their hands tied behind their backs.
Kool considered bolting but knew that he wouldn't get far, and in this frail body, he couldn't expect to win a fight.
The cart wound it's way through the narrow, crowded streets until it came to the public square where the guillotine was waiting. Kool was forced to stand in the cart, the subject of ridicule as each of the other victims were taken up onto the raised platform and beheaded. Kool couldn't stand to watch, but couldn't help but listen as the crowd roared with each fall of the blade. As the most famous person to be dispatched this year, the execution of Marie Antoinette had attracted enormous crowds, and they yelled and cheered with each movement that brought Kool closer to the evil device as the guards led Kool up the steps.
When they had at last reached the top of the platform, Kool's arms were tied behind his back and he was roughly pushed against a wooden table that was tipped up on end. As he was tied to the bloody piece of wood, he turned his head to one side to avoid having his face touch an area where a large piece of human skin still dangled. Once the table was laid back down, he would be slid beneath the cutting blade and would then wait until he heard the click that meant that the release had been pulled and that the blade was on it's way down.
It has been estimated that a severed head is capable of understanding what is happening for up to fifteen seconds after being separated from the human body. Since it was common practice for the executioners to immediately hold up the severed heads while the crowds cheered, that meant that the victims were witness to the excitement generated by their deaths.
Kool was on the verge of losing control of his bladder when the executioner stepped up to him and said, "Mr. Churchill, it's time to go home now."
Kool immediately began to sink into a black void. He fervently hoped that that he had heard correctly, and that he was not just fainting.
All at once Kool was awake again and staring at six people who were bending over him as he lay in the VR chair.
An elderly gentleman said, "Welcome back Mr. Churchill. You've given us a bit of difficulty."
Clearing his throat, Kool said angrily, "You ain't seen nothing yet. Just wait til I contact my lawyer. I'm going to sue you for everything that you're worth. You almost killed me. They were going to cut off my head in a few seconds."
"There, there, Mr. Churchill. You were never in any danger. We have been closely monitoring your trip for the past sixteen hours. I decided to let you enjoy your fantasy until the last moment. After all, it was what you selected."
"What? You were watching me the whole time? Why didn't you bring me out? I was supposed to go to Australia for the surfing, not to 18th century France."
"Australia 'was' your original destination. You changed that when you tried to hack into Ms. Lee's computer workstation. It was your trespassing that resulted in the changes to your trip. You are totally responsible for the changes. It has cost us a great of programmer time but we have recreated everything that you did. We have had to rebuild a number of computer subroutines, and we still aren't sure if we caught all of the problems."
"So you're saying that this was all my fault?"
"Do you deny trespassing into our computer system?"
Kool's anger had changed to surprise. "Well… All I did was look around a little. I didn't intend to cause any problems. I just had a little trouble getting back to where I started."
"Don't get excited. We're not going to prosecute. You pointed out a flaw in our system and we're going to write this off as a training exercise. That is unless you wish to sue us. In that case we would have to press criminal charges against you as well as file a counter suit for civil damages."
"Uhhh… no problem. Forget that I said anything."
"Fine. Then let me make up for your recent unpleasant experience by offering you a replacement journey to Australia for your surfing holiday. Just call Ms. Lee and make an appointment."
Kool said with relief, "Hey, thanks, doc."
As everyone returned to his or her office, Kool was taken to a cleansing station so that he could clean up before leaving. Despite the fact that his body had only reclined in a chair for the past twenty hours, he felt as though he hadn't bathed in a year. No doubt it was due to residual feelings from his recent trip. He stayed in the shower until his skin started to prune, and he finally felt clean again when he got out. He had shampooed his hair five times while relaxing in the warm spray.
As Kool drove up the Pacific Highway, he thought again about his trip. He knew that it was an experience that he would remember for the rest of his days. And hey, he could always truthfully claim that he had been Marie Antoinette in a different life.
The End
*********************************************
copyright 2001 C.Sprite
This story is a work of fiction. Any similarity to any persons living or dead is a
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