An Unwanted Gift                by: Reising                   02/2001

 

Airlines. Fucking airlines. If Karen’s flight had landed when it was supposed to, and not an hour early, I would have made it to the apartment first, and I could have set this up properly. As it was, I now stood in the hallway with my coat still on, as Karen screamed at me.

"What’s wrong with you, Paul? I come back from a nightmarish business trip, hoping against hope that you’d remembered our anniversary, and I find that you’ve turned the apartment into a goddamn cult headquarters!" She turned away from me and stormed into the livingroom.

"Don’t move the candles!" I shouted, while taking my jacket and shoes off and hurriedly following Karen. Karen turned on me, gesturing at the circle of twelve candlesticks. "Paul, WHY are there candles in the livingroom? WHY is there pile of rose petals in the middle of the room , and WHY for fuck’s sake did you burn a star of David into the hardwood floor - " "Its a pentagram."

"I don’t care WHAT it is," cried Karen, who’s voice was steadily rising, "I wanted a nice dinner, maybe a movie, not a seance! And before you even begin to try to explain the state of the room, what the hell is THIS?"

Karen thrust a piece of paper into my face. Now I really did have some explaining to do. She was never supposed to have seen that. This was going to make things really complicated. Karen pulled the sheet of paper back towards her, and started reading from it.

"Five foot five? Extraordinarily long legs? High pitched voice? Huge breasts? Always wears provocative clothing?... What is this Paul, your dream girl?" "Well, yes, act-" Karen belted me across the face. I reeled, only just catching myself on the arm of the couch.

"Get out. Get out right now, asshole."

"Karen," I hoarsely shouted back, "My dream girl is YOU."

"What? Paul, if you think you can talk your way out of this one you are most sorely mistaken."

"Give me a chance here." I said, walking over to the sidebar rubbing my jaw. (Married for two years, and I never knew she had such a devastating right hook). I poured two glasses of wine, and handed one to Karen. She snatched it from me and sat down on the couch. She was still glaring at me fiercely. I had to choose my words carefully.

"This is the best thing that I could think of to get you for our anniversary. The candles, the rose petals on the pentagram, and that sheet of paper - they make the gift possible."

"Gift?" Karen raised an eyebrow.

I pulled a lighter from my pocket and began to light the candles around the room as I spoke.

"Yes. A gift for the both of us. Look, you’re a beautiful girl and I adore you, but I hear you complaining about your looks all of the time. Every magazine, every TV show, you compare yourself to these glamorous women and feel terrible. You don’t wear certain things because you think they make you look fat, when you aren’t. But after tonight you won’t have any excuses left. You’ll be devastatingly beautiful" "Shut up." said Karen. She knocked back the rest of her wine, got up and poured herself another glass. She leaned against the bar. "I think I follow. You’re telling me that this setup is going to change my body into this description?" She waved the piece of paper. "Yes. Exactly. Now that the candles are lit, its almost ready."

"Paul - It isn’t going to happen." Her voice was low but her eyes were solid rage. "How... How dare you presume to do such a thing! Were you even going to tell me about this, or were you going to just spring it on me, ‘poof’, you’re a sex goddess?"

"Well - "

"Well nothing." She finished off the second glass of wine and walked right up to me. "The description here? Its a fantasy. Sure I might sometimes want to look different, but I do not want it imposed on me, shithead. I thought you loved me the way I am?"

"I do, Karen, it’s just - "

"Its just nothing, Paul. This is YOUR fantasy, not mine. Its not even a very well thought out fantasy at that. Did you even begin to think this through? Nobody would recognize me, none of my clothes would fit - " "Yes they would. That’s part of the package, Karen. Everything changes. Your wardrobe, your driver’s license, your baby pictures - nobody would ever know that there’d been a change except for you and whoever is present when the switch happens." "And what exactly would my boss say when I came into the office dressed like a cheap hooker? None of my clients at the firm would take me seriously. What would I do for a living, Paul?"

I had to grant her that I hadn’t considered that.

Karen continued, "I understand that somewhere in that sexed up stupid male brain of yours, you thought this was a good idea for me, but its not." Karen took the piece of paper and held it into the flame of one of the candles.

This was the first good news all night - Karen thought she was destroying the spell, but she was actually activating it. With the paper turned to ash, all she had to do now was step into the rose petals on top of the Pentagram, and she would be changed. Of course, now I would be dealing with an extremely pissed off gorgeous woman, but who knows, maybe once inside her new body she would see the advantages.

I put my wine glass down on the bar. "Karen" I said, in my most apologetic voice, "I am very sorry. I was wrong to have not considered your feelings here."

"Paul." she said in a soft voice, "Its over. Not just this freaky occult shit - EVERYTHING. I’m divorcing you. I’ll have my things picked up tomorrow. The thought that you could even consider manipulating me like this... Well it’s horrifying, Paul. I don’t know who you are."

This was bad. Just seconds away from having everything and now I was getting nothing. She turned and headed for the door.

"Karen, wait!" I grabbed her arm.

In a lightning movement, and with a look of utter hate, Karen knocked my arm away and Punched me square in the nose. Blinding pain shot through my brain as I staggered backwards. I almost slipped when my socks hit something soft on the hardwood. Rose petals? Oh God no! All of a sudden I was engulfed in a warm yellow light and I couldn’t move. I could see Karen backing away in shock. I felt a liquidy heat inside my stomach expanding. My chest began to rise. Long dark hair was cascading down my shoulders. My legs and arms became thinner as my clothing shape-shifted into a different form.

Karen was still staring at me, and she seemed to be getting over the shock. She was trying not to laugh, as she refilled her glass and mine. How the hell could she find this funny? The warm glow began to recede back into the floor. In fear I looked down to see the large breasts I had so wanted Karen to have. I placed my hands on my slender waist, feeling the vinyl of the tiny black minidress. I could feel a garter underneath, holding up sheer black fishnet stockings. I noticed that my legs were unusually long in proportion to my body, and this was made even more prominent by the six inch stiletto heeled platform shoes. I looked up to see Karen walking towards me with the two glasses of wine. She had stopped trying to hold back her laughter and began to snicker.

"Its not funny!" I squeaked.

Karen burst into hearty laughter, almost spilling the wine. My voice had a ridiculously high pitch. I sounded like a complete bimbo.

Karen steadied herself and handed me my glass. She hooked her arm over mine and led me out of the room. The high heels clicked audibly on the floor as I walked, and somehow my new legs had no difficulty in walking in them. We entered our bedroom, Karen put her hands on my shoulders turning me towards her. Looking past her, I saw that my bedside table had a small silver purse and some jewellery on it. The old sneakers that I had tossed in the corner were now a pair of thigh high boots. This couldn’t be happening. I slugged back the wine. Karen slowly turned me around to face the full length mirror on the sliding closet door.

My wine glass fell to the floor as I looked at my new image and began to cry. Karen whispered into my ear. "Say hello to your dream girl, Paul." Karen dissolved into hysterical laughter, and walked out the door.

 

 

© 2001
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