All Alone in the Night

A Babylon 5 Fan Fiction

by

Valentina Michelle Smith

 

"It was the Dawn of the Third Age of Mankind, ten years after the Earth-Minbari War. The Babylon Project was a dream given form. Its goal: to prevent another war by creating a place where humans and aliens could work out their differences peacefully. It's a port of call, home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs and wanderers. Humans and aliens wrapped in two million, five hundred thousand tons of spinning metal .. all alone in the night. It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last, best hope for peace. -- This is the story of the last of the Babylon stations. The year is 2258. The name of the place is Babylon 5."

 

According to some observers, Londo Mollari had two official functions on Babylon 5. The first was to represent The Centauri Republic as its official ambassador. The second was to personally keep the casinos and lounges of the Zocolo solvent. It was in this second capacity that the ambassador could be found today.

For once, the Centauri gods of fortune favored Londo's play. His purse bulged with his winnings at the gaming table, a bounty that he eagerly shared with the patrons of the bar. After several rounds of whatever each sentient race found pleasing and intoxicating, they were quite willing to laugh with Mollari as he regaled the room with his wit.

Well, perhaps not all. G'kar, the ambassador of The Narn Regime, sat silently in the corner while Mollari entertained his current best friends. A waiter approached him. "Ambassador," he asked, "would you care for something to drink? Mollari's buying."

"Yes, I would dearly love a drink," replied G'kar in a voice sufficiently loud to be overheard by Londo. "I would like the blood of all Centauri served in their hollowed-out skulls. I would then drink their health over the burned-out cinder of their home world."

Mollari, of course, had heard every word, but by this time was far too inebriated to take umbrage. "My dear G'kar," said Mollari, "relax and enjoy a drink. You know the problem with you Narn is that you take everything so seriously."

Turning back to his audience, Mollari continued with his repartee. "You know, the humans have something they call 'Light Bulb Jokes.' They really are quite funny. For instance, how many Narns does it take to change a light bulb? Five! One to hold the bulb and four to turn the ladder."

The bar exploded in laughter, except for G'kar who was doing the Narn equivalent of a slow burn. Londo, sensing that he might have to diffuse G'kar's anger, turned his wit to other targets. "Now, how many Pak'ma'ra does it take to change a light bulb? Six! One to hold the bulb, and five to turn the ladder and then eat the Pak'ma'ra who falls from the ladder!"

G'kar's slow burn cooled a bit, seeing he was no longer the butt of Mollari's barbs. He was not in the mood to laugh as yet, but at least his urge to do painful bodily harm to the Centauri ambassador had cooled.

"Here's another. How many Minbari does it take to change a light bulb? Thirty; one to change the bulb, and twenty-nine to cater the ceremony!"

G'kar could no longer remain angry. That was, after all quite humorous. Curiously, he noticed that the Minbari aide to Ambassador Delenn, a young male named Lennier, was also laughing. This puzzled G'kar. Why would the Minbari laugh at such an insult? He must ask Lennier about this at some future time.

As the levity continued, Jamie Taggart eyed the purse, fat with Centauri ducats, hanging from Londo's waist. She was waiting for her opportunity.

Londo's performance continued. "Here's another one. How many humans does it take to change a light bulb? Fifty; forty-nine to file the paperwork and one to call the electrician."

More laughter. Clearly Londo relished being the center of attention. "Ah, one more. How many Centauri does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But, in the great days of the Republic, millions of servants would change thousands of light bulbs at our slightest command!"

This brought down the house, although clearly the jokes played better to an inebriated room. Londo stood and bowed.

It was then that he felt the light touch of phantom fingers at his waist. He reached for the purse that held his winnings. It was gone!

Jamie ducked under some furniture and ran for the door. Londo immediately realized that this urchin was the thief who had lifted his purse. "Stop! Thief!" he shouted, pointing in the direction of the running youngster.

Jamie darted out of the lounge entrance and past a surprised chief of security, Michael Garibaldi. He heard Londo's shouts and ran after the purse snatcher, who ducked under and around the various kiosks of the Zocolo. Garibaldi called for help over his link, but by the time his men arrived, Jamie was gone.

Jamie managed to elude security by jumping through a ventilation shaft too small to allow a grown man access. She had used this escape before. With her prize in hand she started back to the packing crate in Downbelow that served as her home on the station. She never arrived.

As Jamie made her way through the crowded warrens of Downbelow, something strange happened. She began to hear voices. At first she thought it was just the background buzz always present in Downbelow. But this was different. These voices were in her head. Voices plotting unspeakable acts; voices contemplating the worst sorts of depravity; voices of fear; voices of anger. The collected silent inner monologues of Downbelow were overwhelming her.

Then one voice cut through the buzz. "Hey look, it's the faggot!"

Jamie looked up. A gang of toughs had fresh prey in their sight, and it was she. "Look what the little fairy boy got us, fellows? That's a nice purse there, Nancy. Whaddya say you hand it over, and maybe we won't kick your queer little ass?"

"Hey I got a better idea," one of the toughs said. "Why don't we just take the fruit's purse and then kick his ass anyway?"

They began to laugh. Jamie was suddenly inundated with images of violence all directed at her. She was being deluged with thoughts of horror and degeneracy. As the gang advanced she lashed out. "NO!" she screamed.

It was a shout that rattled the station. The gang was immediately rendered unconscious. The people in their immediate vicinity recoiled at the force of Jamie's mind blast. Everybody on Babylon 5 felt some effect, and it was not pleasant.

Moments later, Garibaldi arrived. He saw Jamie standing inside a circle of unconscious and bleeding gang boys. She collapsed.

 

* * * * *

MedLab was filled to capacity. Twenty-three people had been knocked unconscious by the raw force Jamie had projected. The gang of toughs had been particularly stricken. Two of the gang-bangers suffered internal bleeding in their brains, and the rest sustained severe concussions. Apparently Jamie was nor very selective in whatever she had done, because the raw force waves had rippled out, dissipating as they traveled.

Jamie lay on a diagnostic table, still unconscious. A very annoyed Garibaldi watched as Dr. Stephen Franklin studied the readings.

"So what's the story, doc?" said Garibaldi, suppressing a strong urge to ask "What's up, doc?"

Stephen frowned. "Well, she seems to be all right. Obviously she's a newly emerging telepath who used some sort of mind blast to defend herself. She's not injured, but whatever she did has drained her. She's asleep for now."

"Yeah, but what happens when she wakes up? How do we keep her from turning people's brains into jelly?"

"I can help her," said a voice from the doorway. The two turned to see Talia Winters, Babylon 5's licensed commercial telepath.

"Doctor Franklin," she said, "this girl is just discovering her talent. She's very vulnerable now and needs help."

"She seems capable of taking care of herself," Garibaldi said, "judging by the trail of bloody brains she left in Downbelow."

"Which is why she needs help, Mr. Garibaldi," Talia replied. Without guidance she might let loose with another uncontrolled mind blast. I need to show her how to control her power.

"Doctor, can you wake her?"

"She's not sedated," Stephen said, "but I'm not sure that waking her is a good idea, given recent events."

"I'll take responsibility on behalf of Psi Corps," she said. Talia removed the glove from her left hand and gently shook Jamie.

They immediately established telepathic contact.

"Jamie looked into the eyes of the blond woman who had awakened her. "Who are you?" she asked. "Where am I?"

Talia could feel Jamie's apprehension grow, and immediately acted to calm her. "It's all right," she said. "You're safe in MedLab, and you are among friends."

Talia's voice reassured Jamie, and she was initially calm. But then she could hear the voices again, and could see the images. A businessman was arriving supposedly to negotiate with the Narn for minerals, but was actually interested in buying arms for Free Mars. A prostitute was entertaining yet another John, outwardly shouting in pleasure but inwardly loathing him. A couple was awaiting departure on the next leg of their honeymoon. An alien was contemplating his next meal, an animal devoured while still alive. A crescendo of thoughts and images came crashing through Jamie's mind, and she began to panic.

Talia immediately understood. "Listen to me," she said, "and I'll show you how to block them out. Just imagine a wall, big and strong. A big, strong, brick wall. All of the thoughts and images are on the other side of the wall. The wall is strong. Nothing can get through. The wall protects us."

Jamie concentrated, forming an image of a huge wall in her mind. The voices faded. The images went away. Jamie was safe behind the wall. Confident of her safety, Jamie relaxed.

"How did you learn how to do that?" she asked Talia.

"The Psi Corps taught me to do that," Talia replied, "and they'll teach you too. They'll teach you how to control your gift, how to let only the right thoughts in, and how to look into other minds. You're very special, Jamie. You're a telepath. You're one of us, and the Corps will take care of you."

"The Psi Corps will take care of me?"

"Yes, we're your family, the family of telepaths. We'll train you back on Earth to use your gift, to control it. We'll help you to develop your talent, just like I do."

Jamie thought about it. "I don't know," she said.

Talia smiled. "It's a lot to take in right now, Jamie, so just relax. I'll help you through any crisis you might have and arrange for you to travel to Earth. It's going to be okay, honey. We're here for you. The Corps is your family, and we take care of our own."

"I'm still not sure."

"I know. I was your age when my talent first manifested, right about the time I had my first period. I thought I was going crazy. Without the Corps, I don't think I would have survived."

Dr, Franklin cleared his throat. "Miss Winters. I think there's a few things we need to discuss about Jamie."

"Of course, Doctor. Now Jamie, you just rest. Psi Corps will take care of you." Jamie laid her head back and returned to sleep. Talia and Stephen left the room.

"Now what did you want to tell me, Doctor?" Talia asked.

"I really don't think that MedLab is an appropriate venue to recruit new Psi Corps members."

"I'm not recruiting her, Doctor, I'm just following EarthGov protocol. All telepaths fall under the jurisdiction of Psi Corps."

"Yes, but she also has the right to refuse and take the sleepers."

"Not in this case. Jamie is a minor and, by all indications, has no parents. As such, Psi Corps is empowered to act in loco parentis on her behalf. In any event, she'll be a lot better off on Earth in a Psi Corps facility then she would be in Downbelow."

"Perhaps, but I think you should know something else before you make up Jamie's mind for her. Jamie is a boy."

An incredible expression of surprise spread over Talia's face. "A boy? That's impossible! I was in her mind, and it was definitely a girl's mind."

"That may be, Miss Winters, but her body is definitely a boy's body. She has a penis and scrotum with fully descended testicles and a Y chromosome to boot. Her mind might be female, but her body is male."

"But what accounts for her breast development and her hips? She looks as female as her mind."

"According to her blood work and scans she's been dosing herself with female hormones. Obviously she's a transsexual. She's probably been stealing to get black-market hormones. I'll have to have a talk with her about using Narn estrogen, it can have some bad side-effects."

Talia considered the situation. "Can she start taking human hormones?"

"Yes, it would probably be better for her."

"Then start the treatment right away. Psi Corps will pay the expense."

"Actually, Jamie's bill is being paid by Londo Mollari."

For a second time that day, Talia was astonished. "Why would Mollari pay for the girl who robbed him?"

"Mollari said the girl has pluck, and you just have to admire that kind of pluck. He also said, and I quote, 'Get her well, keep her healthy, and keep her the hell out of my hair.'"

 

* * * * *

Susan Ivanova had little trouble speaking her mind. "Frankly, Commander, the whole thing sucks!"

Commander Jeffrey Sinclair regarded his fiery second-in-command. Ivanova was a damned fine officer, blessed with that fatalistic Russian temperament and sense of loyalty that he valued so much. But when it came to telepaths, Ivanova's mind was closed.

"Lieutenant Commander," Sinclair said, "you know that this is an EarthForce station. When it comes to civilian matters we must follow EarthGov protocols. And these protocols are clear. She's Psi Corps' problem."

Garibaldi chimed in. "And as little as I like Psi Corps, I'll be glad when she's off the station."

"Garibaldi," Susan said, "how the hell can you be so hard-hearted? You know what those Psi Corps goons are like. Remember the Jason Ironheart incident? Do you really want to hand her over to the likes of Bester?"

Garibaldi hesitated, trying to come up with a stinging reply. When none was forthcoming, Susan continued, "You see? You're hesitating."

"Yeah, but I still need to think about station security. What if she has another one of those little mental hissy fits and scrambles the brains of everyone on the Zocolo? I remember what a royal pain it was trying to control Ironheart, and I damn sure don't want to go through that again."

"So you want to turn her over to Psi Corps? What happens when they decide to dissect her to figure out how she manages to blast brains so effectively?"

Ivanova turned to Jeffrey Sinclair. "Commander, don't let those bastards get their hands on her. Isn't their anything you can do?"

Sinclair thought about it, and came up with a solution that would have made his Jesuit teachers proud. "Technically, Jamie Taggart is a criminal. She stole ambassador Mollari's purse."

"I don't think I can make that stick, Jeff," Garibaldi said, "Londo declined to press charges."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Michael, but didn't you witness the crime being committed?"

"Well, if you stretch the point, I suppose so. I saw her run out of the casino with Londo's purse."

"Close enough. As a criminal she comes under station legal jurisdiction. Michael, charge her with petty larceny and let's get an Omsbud to set bail. Until she's tried, we can't release her to Psi Corps. Maybe we can figure something out while we stall for time. In the meantime, I'm sure Miss Winters can help Jamie to control her mental outbursts."

 

* * * * *

Commander Sinclair's decision did not sit well with Talia Winters. Even in the wake of the Jason Ironheart incident, Talia retained loyalty to the Corps. Psi Corps was the only life she had known since becoming a teen. She remembered how her friends and neighbors and even family members shunned her after her gift manifested. But Psi Corps welcomed her, told her that she was not a freak but was, in fact, a very exceptional person. She belonged in Psi Corps. Somehow, Talia had to get this precious youngster into her loving family.

She spent time with Jamie every day, training her in how to block, and how to let certain thoughts and images in. They also spent time talking, with a touch of telepathic rapport.

Jamie had been discharged from MedLab and was now living in modest quarters in Brown Sector. A single room served as living room, dining room, bedroom, kitchen, and refresher. Cleverly designed to make maximum use of space, it was compact without being particularly cramped. Jamie's few possessions had no trouble fitting in.

Talia had stopped by to visit, and they were having a bit of girl talk.

"Jamie, I'm curious, how did you come to be in Downbelow?"

"My father and I came to the station when I was eleven," Jamie said. "He was going to work for one of the mining consortiums. But when he got here, the consortium had gone out of business.

"He tried to get work on the docks or doing station maintenance, but there was a long waiting list. He took whatever work he could find, but it really wasn't enough. Then he went to work for some outfit in Downbelow. He never told me what he was doing, but one day he was in an airlock that accidentally cycled.

"After that I just did what I could to survive. Mostly I picked pockets and stole small items up in the Zocolo. I always managed to get by."

"You managed to get enough to pay for hormones," Talia said. "When did you start taking them?"

Jamie started to freeze up and withdraw, but a gentle telepathic nudge from Talia reassured her. "It was about a year ago. I guess I always knew I was really a girl, but I had the wrong equipment. I read all I could about transition from the BabCom library, so I knew what I needed. All it took was money."

"Were you getting the hormones from n'Grath?" Talia asked, referring to the sinister alien fixer who seemed to have his hand (or whatever that appendage was called) in every illegal activity on B5.

"Yes, it was the only way I could afford them. I didn't have enough money for MedLab."

"Did you know he was selling you Narn estrogen?"

"No, all I knew was that it was working. You can see my boobs growing."

"Yes, I see, and they are quite pretty, but you really shouldn't use the Narn hormones. They can have side effects."

"That's what Dr. Franklin said, and he gave me human hormones. That's what I've been taking."

"Good. Don't stop taking them."

Now Jamie began to cry. Talia felt the sadness and moved to console her. "What's wrong, dear?"

"It's just, everybody is so kind to me here, but in Downbelow they thought I was a freak. Is that what I am, a freak, a boy wearing girl's clothes?"

Talia wanted to hug Jamie. "No, of course not, Jamie. You aren't a freak. I've been inside your mind, and I can tell you that it's the mind of a girl, a girl who will some day grow into a beautiful young woman."

"And the Psi Corps won't stop me?"

"Of course not, Jamie. They can see your mind as clearly as I can. The Corps will aid your transition."

Jamie smiled. "Thank you, Talia. I know you'll keep your promise."

 

* * * * *

As it turned out, Talia was quite wrong.

The Psi Cop, Calvin Sloane, arrived on a scheduled Earth transport. He presented his credentials to the security guard for verification, and then proceeded to Talia's quarters.

Talia was expecting a representative from Psi Corps, but had no idea that it would be a Psi Cop. She let him in, and he got right down to business.

"Your timely report on the new telepath is appreciated, Miss Winters. Psi Corps is grateful. I've come to take him to Earth."

"I'm surprised that Psi Corps sent a Psi Cop for this assignment. Jamie certainly is not a criminal."

"Correct, but your report indicated that Taggart is potentially very powerful. Until we can properly test him, we must consider him potentially dangerous to mundanes. For this reason, Psi Corps felt it necessary to send a telepath with a sufficiently high rating to prevent any accidents. I am a P12."

"I have been teaching her how to block, and how to control herself. I'm no instructor, of course, but I tried to help."

"And I'm sure you have done as well as you possibly could, Miss Winters. You handled the situation admirably. But the boy needs training and evaluation he can only get on earth."

"Excuse me, Mr. Sloane," Talia said, "Jamie is a girl. I know. I've been inside her mind."

"He is still biologically male, Miss Winters."

"I know, but she has been taking female hormones for well over a year now."

"A regimen that we shall terminate. I'm afraid we cannot risk the possibility of losing a telepath of such potential power, and continued administration of female hormones represents such a risk."

"But Jamie's mind is female. How could you possibly consider stopping her treatment? Do you know what this will do to her?"

"It is a hard decision, I grant you, but a necessary one. But Psi Corps is not heartless. Jamie will be provided the counseling he will need to accept his male sex. I know it will be difficult for him, but the Corps does not abandon our own. He is one of us."

"The Corps is mother," Talia said, repeating the mantra of Psi Corps, "the Corps is father." For the first time in her life she said it without conviction. Suddenly she was very grateful for the decision of Commander Sinclair. She hoped that the Omsbud had a lengthy docket.

 

* * * * *

Although Jamie knew of the arrival of the Psi Cop, Talia never told her about his decision to withdraw her from hormone treatment. To be honest, Talia was not at all in agreement with Psi Corps' judgment. Removing the hormones could cause Jamie irreparable harm.

Under the rules of the Omsbud court, the Psi Cop was prohibited from coming into contact with Jamie. Sloan could have easily used his Psi powers to get into Jamie's mind and force her to accompany him to a waiting transport, but Garibaldi had assigned a shadow to Sloane, and any attempt to kidnap Jamie would find Sloane on the wrong end of a charged PPG.

Jamie remained blissfully unaware of these incidents. She now wandered the Zocolo freely, thanks to the generosity of a certain ambassador who, despite his reputation as a crusty old drunkard, had a soft spot in his hearts for children. It was on one of these trips that Jamie happened upon the ambassador of the Narn Regime and his aide.

G'kar sat at the cafe table with his aide, Na'Toth. They were enjoying some fresh spoo when G'kar spied Jamie and invited her to sit with them. Jamie declined an offer of spoo, but did allow the Narns to treat her to some fresh pineapple chunks.

"You know, my dear," said G'kar in an affable manner, "your situation is the talk of the station. There are many of us rooting for you. Do you have any thoughts as to your future after your trial?"

"I hadn't really thought that far ahead. I suppose I'll go to Earth and join Psi Corps."

"Ah, yes, I understand that they are very interested in you."

"I guess so."

"My dear child, have you given any consideration to the possibility of, shall we say, competing offers?"

"What do you mean, 'competing offers?'"

Na'Toth actuated a silence barrier to ensure that their conversation would not be monitored. G'kar continued, "What I mean, Jamie, is that we Narns have no native telepaths. This, as you can well imagine, puts us at a strategic disadvantage in our dealings with other races. We would like you to help us, and we would make it very worth your while."

"How could I help you, and why should I?"

"I have a transport standing by ready to leave for the Narn home world immediately. I can get you aboard and, once on Narn, you would be under our protection. You would be rewarded with a life of unparalleled luxury and riches beyond dreams of avarice."

"And in return what do you want me to do, spy on Earth? Betray my planet?"

"Of course we would never ask you to do such a thing, my dear, although we might ask you to do that little mind blast on a few Centauri. No, what we would ask of you is genetic material, so that we might breed Narn telepaths."

"That sounds creepy, like you're going to cut me up."

"Nothing of the sort, Jamie. The material would be extracted quite painlessly, and only in microscopic quantities. A blood draw perhaps once a month would be more than adequate."

Na'Toth now spoke. "There is more we can offer you, Jamie. On our home world you would not be considered a freak."

Jamie became defensive. "What do you mean, a freak?"

Na'Toth answered, "We are aware of your transition, Jamie, and of the difficulties it has presented you among your fellow humans. But among the Narns you would be quite normal."

"You see, dear girl," G'kar continued, "we Narn have a very unique ability, one we have not revealed to any off-worlder. Narns are capable of changing their sex."

"You can change your sex?" Jamie said.

"Yes," Na'Toth replied. "It is a survival trait, stemming from times when a great deal of one sex would be killed or unable to mate. We would become male or female as the situation required. I understand that there are animals on your world called frogs that are capable of this."

"All Narns are born female," G'kar said. "At a certain part of our life we choose to become male or remain female. But it is not unknown for a Narn to change back and forth several times. Rare, but not unknown."

"So nobody would try to hurt me or insult me because I was once a boy?" Jamie asked.

"Of course not," said G'kar. "Well, what do you think?"

Jamie hesitated. On the surface the offer sounded tempting, but was there something more sinister going on? She knew she wasn't supposed to, but she reached out and scanned the surface of G'kar's mind.

Hatred! Anger! Images of vile atrocities visited upon the Narns by the hated Centauri! And images of bloody retribution! G'kar wore a veneer of civilization, but just below the surface there raged a maelstrom of fury.

The images hit Jamie like the odor of an unlimed outhouse. She recoiled in fear, running from the table and leaving her uneaten fruit behind. G'kar turned to an incredulous Na'Toth, wondering just what had gotten into that girl.

Jamie wasn't exactly watching where she was going when she ran into Calvin Sloan. The Psi Cop had been keeping an eye on her, just to make certain that Psi Corps would not lose her potentially valuable ability. Jamie looked into the steel blue eyes of the Psi Cop and started to run away.

Something stopped her. Jamie's panic faded as Sloan telepathically reassured her. "You seem frightened, child," he said. Jamie realized that she was not actually hearing Sloan speak; rather, he was projecting the words directly into her mind.

"I'm sorry," she replied, also telepathically. "I just, ...I mean..."

"Perhaps you should sit down for a moment," Sloane said. "Let me get you something to drink." Sloane guided her to a table and signaled the waiter to bring some orange juice.

They had just sat down when they were approached by Station Security Guard Zack Allen. "Can I help you with anything, Jamie?" he asked.

"It's all right, Mr Allen," Sloane said aloud for his benefit. "Young Jamie seems to be distressed over something and I was simply offering some assistance." A waiter arrived with the orange juice. "You are welcome to join us."

"Thanks, but I'm not thirsty. I just wanted to make sure there's no funny stuff. Chief Garibaldi want to make sure of that, if you know what I mean."

"I assure you, Mr. Allen, I am not going to abduct the child, but she is distressed. All I want to do is speak with her."

Sloane turned his attention to Jamie. "You were projecting fear quite strongly. I could not help but feel it. What was it that frightened you, child?"

Jamie took a sip of her juice and said, "I peeked into that Narn's mind, and it was filled with such disgusting, vile images! He is so filled with hatred!"

"You know that you shouldn't be scanning minds without permission."

"I know, but I couldn't help myself. How could a mind be so filled with hate?"

Sloane sighed. "Scanning an alien mind can be a very frightening experience. I know. One of my first assignments was to scan the minds of Narn representatives. Earth negotiated with the Narn Regime to purchase heavy weapons during the Earth-Minbari War."

"Are they all so hateful?" Jamie asked.

"To a degree. You have to understand, Jamie, alien minds are very alien. Scanning aliens can be disturbing. That's why you need training. You'll get that training from Psi Corps."

"Did scanning the Narn upset you?"

"Let's just say it was challenging. But it was also enlightening. I learned much about the Narns, and became curious about them. I studied their history and learned to respect their culture. Did you know that the Narns were originally a race of poets and philosophers, dedicated to peace and harmony?"

"No, I didn't know."

"Not many humans do, Jamie."

"How did they become so hateful?" she asked.

"Centuries of oppression can do that to a people, Jamie. The Narn home world was rich and fertile, and coveted by many races. The Centauri were the most recent in a line of conquerers, and were brutal in their occupation. The Narns have only recently won their freedom, and guard it jealously. It's only natural to feel anger at their former oppressors."

Jamie finished her juice. "Will I have to scan aliens?" she asked.

"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Psi Corps has many career paths, Jamie, and you will have a wealth of opportunities. You'll find out soon enough. Right now, just let Miss Winters guide you. And if you have any questions of me, don't hesitate to ask."

"Thank you, Mr. Sloane. I guess I have a lot to think about."

 

* * * * *

Jamie was in the Stone Garden, contemplating the rippled patterns raked into the sand, thinking of her telepathic encounter with G'kar, and with Sloane.

It was all so confusing! Oh, if only her father had managed to find a real job on Babylon 5, then he might still be alive and she never would have lived in Downbelow. Why did she have to be a telepath? Why was she born a boy? The entire universe just wasn't fair!

She started to cry. She was sobbing when she realized she was not alone. She looked up to see who was in the Stone Garden with her.

Ambassador Delenn seemed embarrassed. "I am sorry," she said, "I did not mean to disturb you."

"You're not bothering me," Jamie said. "I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I'll go."

"There is no need to leave. Perhaps we can enjoy the garden together."

"I suppose so."

"Let us simply contemplate the patterns in the sand," Delenn said. She smiled, and sat on a stone bench opposite Jamie.

Jamie tried to concentrate on the rocks and the sand, but found herself distracted by Delenn. The Minbari seemed quite mysterious to her, and soon Jamie was no longer contemplating the stone garden, but was staring at the ambassador.

"Excuse me, ambassador," Jamie said, "I was just wondering; are there people like me on Minbar?"

Delenn looked up. If Jamie's interruption annoyed her, she did not show it. "Of course, child, there are many Minbari telepaths. For my people, a gift such as telepathy is cherished and nurtured."

"That's not what I mean. What I meant was, do you have transsexuals?"

Delenn seemed puzzled for a moment, and then realized the meaning of the term. "Are you referring to your transition from male to female?" she asked. Jamie nodded.

"It is not common, but it is not unknown. We Minbari believe that upon death, our souls rejoin the universe until such time as we are reborn. On occasion, a female soul will be born in a male body, or a male soul in a female body."

"What do you do when this happens?" Jamie asked.

"We recognize that to be born this way is a terrible burden. We help such a person either to bear the burden or, if this is not possible, we correct the situation."

"You mean that they transition, like I'm doing?"

"Yes. Our healers assist the body to align correctly with the soul."

Jamie thought for a minute. "Would it be possible to do this for me?"

Delenn was touched by Jamie's plea. "I do not know if this would be possible, child. We have no skill in the healing of human bodies. But perhaps I might help you in another way."

"What do you mean?"

"Perhaps I can ease your emotional suffering. Minbari are skilled in the techniques of mediation. Perhaps I can help you to realize your true path, and to find the courage to walk it."

Delenn rose from the bench. "Would you like to come with me, Jamie?"

Jamie hesitated. A lot of people seemed to know what was best for her. She cautiously scanned the very surface of Delenn's mind. It was indeed very alien, but there was a quality about it that Jamie could trust. This alien woman was genuinely interested in helping her.

Together Jamie and Delenn left the stone garden and went to Green Sector, the diplomatic area. Delenn's quarters were considerably larger than Jamie's, a fact Jamie attributed to her rank as an ambassador. It was here that she met Lennier, Delenn's aide.

Lennier bowed and held his hands in the very formal pose of the religious caste as he greeted Jamie. Despite the formality, Lennier smiled. Jamie immediately felt welcome.

"Perhaps we should begin with a simple meditation," Delenn said. She placed a sort of pyramid containing an oily liquid onto the low table and knelt on the floor. Lennier knelt to one side of the table and indicated to Jamie that she should also kneel.

Delenn touched the apex of the pyramid. A small flame flickered into life.

"Concentrate on the flame," she said to Jamie. "Try to empty your mind of everything but the flame. Breathe in. Breathe out. Let there be nothing in the universe except the flame."

It was Jamie's first attempt at meditation. Initially she found it difficult to calm her mind. The events of the last few weeks seemed to race through it, each one competing for her attention. Then, as she managed to put these thoughts aside, the telepathic buzz of voices began to grow. As she emptied her mind she also relinquished the block that Talia Winters had taught her.

Then something quite remarkable happened. The voices did not vanish, but they became much less important. As Jamie focused on the flame, the telepathic background seemed less imposing. Much like being in the center of a crowded room with many conversations going on at once, Jamie managed to screen out the din and focus her attention onto her own center. The flame, she realized, was simply a means of directing her mind in one direction.

How long Jamie remained in that state was difficult to estimate. After a span of time that could just as easily have been second or hours, she looked up. Lennier and Delenn had also raised their eyes. "What did you feel?" Delenn asked.

"I'm not sure," Jamie replied. "I can hear the thoughts of people, but I don't feel overwhelmed. I don't need to block them."

"A good beginning," Delenn said. "If you wish I can continue training you in the art of meditation, and perhaps you can study with one of our telepaths."

"I think I would like that," Jamie said.

"I am certain I can arrange it," Lennier said to Jamie. "You show a remarkable talent, Jamie. Many Minbari could not achieve such a state on their first attempt."

"Yes," said Delenn, suddenly very concerned. "Please wait a moment, Jamie, I would like to try something."

Delenn arose from her kneeling position and crossed the room where she opened a panel. Several polished wooden boxes were visible. She selected one and placed in on the table in front of Jamie.

The box was simple, but ornately decorated with what Jamie assumed was Minbari script. Delenn opened the hinged box to reveal a triangular object. It appeared to be constructed of metal rods that formed a perfect tetrahedron. Rods from each apex converged upon a central globe. Delenn lifted this device from the box and held it close to Jamie.

The globe began to glow with an intense white light. The brightness surprised Jamie, but she did not find it unpleasant. She looked up and saw Delenn share a troubled expression with Lennier.

"Is something wrong?" Jamie said.

"No, child," Delenn assured her, "nothing is wrong, just unexpected."

"Is it something bad?"

Delenn's look of concern melted into a smile. "Not at all, Jamie. This may be much better than I had anticipated."

"Could you at least tell me what it is?" Jamie asked.

Delenn hesitated. "Jamie, what do you know of the war between Earth and Minbar?"

"Only what my father told me, and what I read in the history books. The Minbari nearly wiped us out, but we managed to stop you at the Battle of the Line. Minbar surrendered, and we stopped fighting."

"Do you know why we surrendered, Jamie?"

"Wasn't it because we stopped you?"

"Jamie, what I am about to tell you is a secret. It is the reason why the Minbari surrendered, despite the fact that Earth was all but defeated."

"Defeated?" Jamie repeated incredulously, "but how could that be? Why would you surrender if you were winning?"

"Because to destroy humanity would have been to destroy ourselves."

Jamie rose as Delenn continued. "Your forces fought bravely, Jamie. Despite facing overwhelming odds, they continued to fight on. We Minbari had never witnessed such courage and determination.

"Minbari forces surrounded Earth. EarthForce put every ship that could fight into space and formed The Line, but they knew it would never hold. Our ships sliced through yours as though they did not exist. And yet you continued to fight! We had to know what could motivate a people to continue to fight in the face of certain disaster. And so, we took a human aboard our ship.

"We tortured him, questioned him, but he continued to resist. Finally we examined him using the same device I used just now. It is called the Triluminary, and what we learned shocked us. This human had a Minbari soul!"

"What do you mean?" Jamie asked.

"Do you remember what I told you about Minbari souls. Jamie? When we die, our souls return to the Universe from which they came, and are reborn into a new generation of Minbari. Over the years, we have noticed something disturbing. New souls were being born, but not all souls were being reborn. The best of our souls were not returning, leaving the current generation diminished. But where were they going? Could it be that they were being born as humans?

"We had to know, so we captured additional humans and examined them. Our suspicions were confirmed; Minbari were being reborn as humans. And so, we ordered our forces to surrender. Minbari do not kill Minbari. That is our law, given to us by Valen."

Jamie now realized the significance of the Triluminary, and why Delenn had used it. "So are you telling me that I have a Minbari soul?"

Lennier glanced at Delenn, who nodded. "Indeed you do," he said, "and it is a most remarkable soul. Jamie, you are a daughter of Valen."

 

* * * * *

Calvin Sloane was not really a ruthless man. Neither was he completely heartless. But where Psi Corps was concerned, he was efficient and dispassionate.

Shortly after his encounter with Jamie, he was confronted by Zack Allen and Michael Garibaldi, who informed him in their own rather colorful manner that future encounters with the girl would be considered a violation of the Omsbud's order and grounds for incarceration. Garibaldi also warned Sloane that any attempt to telepathically resist arrest could possibly be met with extreme force, and Garibaldi would just as soon not have to make out the paperwork. Sloane didn't have to read Garibaldi's mind to realize he meant business. So he requested a private Gold Channel to EarthDome in Geneva.

Gold Channel communications were supposed to be private. Ivanova knew this as she processed the request. She also knew that Garibaldi had a few "security" programs that could decrypt and record Gold Channel messages.

"You know I can't do that," Garibaldi said to Susan as she stood in his office. "Gold Channel is the highest security available, reserved for military and diplomatic communication. What you're asking is a violation of at least a dozen laws."

"Garibaldi, this isn't military or diplomatic, it's a damned Psi Cop. You know what he's up to, he's making an end run around the Omsbud to snatch Jamie back to Earth and Psi Corps."

"What he's doing doesn't matter. He has the authority to use Gold Channel for secure communication. My job is to keep it secure, not to break it."

"So you're not going to help?"

"I can't, Susan."

"You can't, or you won't?"

Garibaldi hesitated. "You know, if a one-time snooper program just sort of showed up in your files, from an unknown source, well I sure wouldn't know if you used it, would I?"

"Garibaldi, I could kiss you!"

"Yeah, well maybe you should think about that. I had a hoagie for lunch, loaded with onions."

 

* * * * *

Susan did indeed find a program in her files named "peekaboo." For some reason the trace path had been corrupted, so she could never verify its source, but she had no doubt as to its origin. She activated "peekaboo" and retrieved the communication between Sloane and Psi Corps. It was not good news.

Sloane asked his superiors to seek a summary judgment in EarthDome courts to force the Omsbud's hearing immediately. He was promised that a judicial order would be coming in two or three days.

Susan was both furious and frustrated. Her anger stemmed from the end run Sloane had pulled to circumvent the legal process and spirit Jamie from the station. She was frustrated because if she asked Commander Sinclair to intervene, she would have to also admit to hacking into Gold Channel messages, and the Commander would not look very kindly on any such action, no matter how well intentioned.

The only person she could share this news with was Garibaldi. Michael was sympathetic, but just as powerless as Susan.

"I really wish I could help, but I can't, "he told her. " In case you didn't notice, I'm the guy who has to enforce judicial orders. Sloane gives me an order from EarthDome, I get to say 'Yes, sir,' and carry it out."

"So you're just going to hand her over to that Psi Cop?"

"As soon as the trial ends, yes. At that point she comes under the authority of Psi Corps, and there isn't anything I can do about it."

"This isn't fair, or just," Susan said.

"You're right, but it's the Law, and if we all start taking the Law into our own hands, this place turns into Dodge City."

 

* * * * *

Despite a relationship that spanned nearly a thousand years, the Minbari still knew precious little of the Vorlons. No Minbari had ever seen a Vorlon. In fact, no member of any species had ever seen a Vorlon outside of his (her? its?) encounter suit, save for two humans no longer aboard Babylon 5.

The Vorlon ambassador, Kosh, was every bit as mysterious as his reputation. He ventured out of his quarters in the alien sector rarely. His encounter suit seemed to glide along smoothly as though it were hovering. Whether Vorlons had legs (or any sort of appendages) was cause for much speculation.

Kosh now stood outside Delenn's quarters. The door opened and he entered. Delenn was by now used to the erratic comings and goings of the Vorlon, so his visit was no surprise. His message, however, was.

"It is time," he said.

Delenn glanced at the crystal device she had slowly been assembling. It came with no instructions. It was expected that the person who would use the device would somehow know how to assemble the pieces, and the final structure would be unique for that person. Indeed, the pieces could fit together in many different patterns. The final pattern eluded Delenn.

"I have not finished the assembly," she said.

"Not you," replied the Vorlon.

"Then I am not to assemble it?" she asked.

"Not now."

"Then who?"

"The girl."

"Do you mean Jamie?" Delenn asked. "But how will she know what to do?"

"She knows," was his only reply.

"But what will happen?" she asked.

"If the girl goes to Earth, she will die."

Kosh said no more. He turned and left. Delenn was surprised at the unusually clear and direct instructions, at least by Vorlon standards. She knew what must be done.

 

* * * * *

Jamie had been coming to Delenn's quarters for several weeks for her regular meditation sessions. She had seen the crystal device on one of the tables and assumed it was a Minbari sculpture of some sort, or perhaps a kind of puzzle. She was surprised when Delenn presented it to her.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" she asked.

"What do you think you should do?" Delenn answered.

Jamie studies the intricate angular pieces. "It looks like it can be put together in a lot of different ways," she answered. "Is there a correct pattern?"

"That is for you to decide."

Jamie thought that it might be another test, or another Minbari object used to aid meditation. She picked up a few pieces and experimentally fit them together. "Is it all right if I move some of the pieces you put together already?"

"Of course, Jamie. Whatever you want."

Jamie moved some of the pieces, fitting them together in a new pattern. As she tried new pieces in new positions, she became focused upon the object. Without realizing it, she entered into a deep state of meditation. Her mind filtered all sensation, all sound, all feeling, save for the pattern of the crystals as she assembled them together.

She finally fit the last piece into place.

The device began to glow. Gossamer fibers emerged from the light. They swirled around Jamie and clung to her. They accumulated into a cocoon, totally encasing Jamie. All the while, Jamie remained in her meditative state. She was aware of being encased in the silvery threads, but did nothing to resist. Somehow, she knew that she would not be harmed.

Delenn watched the process, knowing that it would soon be her time.

 

* * * * *

Omsbud Dallier convened this unusual court at the order of EarthDome. He did not understand why so innocuous a matter as petty larceny had become so important to Earth's judiciary, but it was not for him to question the order. He set aside more pressing matters and bumped the case of Jamie Taggart to the top of his schedule.

He had studied the facts as thoroughly as the hasty scheduling allowed. He felt sorry for the orphan girl and was inclined to temper the strong arm of justice with compassion. And if she was an emerging telepath, what better place for her than Psi Corps?

He issued an order to the Tipstaff. "Call Jamie Taggart."

"The Court calls Jamie Taggart," the Tipstaff announced to the audience. He was met with silence.

"Jamie Taggart," the Tipstaff repeated in a louder tone. When she was not forthcoming, Omsbud Dallier became quite annoyed.

"Chief Garibaldi," he said, "where is Miss Taggart?"

"She wasn't in her quarters this morning, your honor," Michael said. "She hasn't been seen for several days."

"This is an outrage," Sloane protested. "Why was this girl permitted to wander freely? Why was she not confined?"

"Mr. Sloane," the Omsbud replied, "Taggart was charged with a very minor offense and released on her own recognizance. It is only at your insistence that the hearing was set so quickly."

"Your honor," the Psi Cop said, "this only illustrates why speedy adjudication was necessary. The girl is an unregistered telepath and potentially dangerous. Of course Psi Corps would insist on timely adjudication.

"I ask the court for permission to search the station for Jamie Taggart."

"Permission is granted, Mr. Sloane."

"I further ask the court for custody of Jamie Taggart upon apprehension, on behalf of Psi Corps."

"It is so adjudicated. But I warn you, Mr. Sloane, the court will not tolerate random telepathic probing. Confine your search to finding Miss Taggart."

"Thank you, your honor."

The court adjourned.

Sloane immediately cornered Michael. "All right, Mr. Garibaldi, where is he?"

Garibaldi grinned back at Sloane with his impish little smirk guaranteed to piss off the Dali Lama. "Where is who?"

"You know who; Taggart."

"I haven't the foggiest idea, Sloane."

"You know I could scan you for the information, Garibaldi."

"Yes you could, and you still wouldn't know any more than I do. Scout's honor, Sloane, I don't know where she is."

Sloane had as much trust in Garibaldi's honor as he had in a politician's, but a quick and surreptitious scan of Garibaldi's mind revealed he was telling the truth. He stalked away, frustrated and disgusted.

 

* * * * *

For a while, Jamie's mysterious disappearance was the talk of Babylon 5. Sloane called in a squad of Psi Cops to search for her telepathic signature, but after a few weeks they came away dry. Psi Corps was not happy, but could no longer afford to devote any resources to the search. Reluctantly they called it off.

There was a brief jurisdictional dispute during the search. The Psi Cops wanted to expand their search to Green sector. Commander Sinclair forbade this, citing diplomatic immunity. Sloane, of course, managed to sneak into Green sector where he was met with a group of Minbari telepaths, all very powerful, who blocked his scans and made it quite clear that his presence was unwelcome. Sloane left Green sector reluctantly. Minbar did not lodge a formal protest.

Soon all speculation about Jamie Taggart subsided. There were plenty of developments to occupy the attention of Babylon 5 residents. After a while, nobody gave it a thought. Nobody except Delenn and Lennier, who kept watch over a silvery cocoon.

For the first few weeks, the cocoon remained still. After three weeks it began to move slightly, responding to some stirring within. Then, four weeks to the day of its formation, it began to open.

At first a hairline crack appeared on the surface. Little by little the crack expanded, until an intricate fracture pattern began to appear. Twelve hours after the first crack formed, the cocoon fell away.

Jamie still knelt in the position of meditation. Her body was covered with a dark gray coating. As she arose, the coating fell away. She opened her eyes to a very astonished Lennier. "In Valen's name!" he exclaimed.

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, Jamie. Let me summon Delenn. I'm sure she will want to see you."

"I had a wonderful dream," Jamie said. "I dreamed about a time back on Earth when my mother was still alive, and we had gone on vacation to the Outer Banks. It's a seashore community. I was swimming and playing in the sand and building sand castles with my parents. But the most remarkable part of it was myself. I was a little girl, and my mother and father called me their daughter."

Delenn entered and beheld Jamie. Jamie saw the look of amazement on Delenn's face and asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, child," Delenn answered.

"Then why are you staring at me?"

Delenn said nothing. She motioned Jamie to a full length mirror on the far wall. Jamie looked at her reflection. She was totally unprepared for the sight she saw.

Her reflection was that of a Minbari.

She ran her hands over the hard protrusion on her now bald head, feeling the unfamiliar intricate pattern of bone that was her own, unique crest. She was amazed at the deep, alien set of her eyes, and the lower position of her much smaller ears on her head.

She stared at the reflection in amazement, then realized something quite profound. "My crest!" she said. For she now realized that her crest was not the jagged pattern of a male Minbari, but the smooth rounded shape of a female.

"Yes, you are female," Delenn said. "Your soul is a female's soul, and so you became female."

"And I'm a girl?" she asked.

"You are female in every way," Lennier said. "Does it feel strange.?"

Jamie pondered Lennier's question. "Strange? Yes. Different. And something else."

"What is that?"

Jamie smiled. "Complete; I finally feel complete, as though a missing piece of myself had finally been put in place. I feel whole."

 

* * * * *

There was not much attention paid to the departure of the Minbari girl Gentoo. Zack Allen looked over her IdentiCard and it checked out. He smiled at the pleasant girl as she proceeded to the boarding gate.

Lennier and Delenn were there to see her off.

"I'm really very nervous," Jamie said. "What will it be like on Minbar?"

"You will learn much," Lennier said. "Minbar is a beautiful planet. You will be taught our history and culture, and will learn to develop your talent."

"You will be met by one of my teachers, a woman named Vendi." Delenn said. "You will stay with her for a time, until you are ready to live independently."

"And will I be in the religious caste?"

"For the time being. When you are ready, you will choose your own path."

"I can't thank you enough. I will be forever in your debt, Delenn."

Delenn smiled. "We Minbari have a saying, a philosophy given to us by Valen. It is summed up in two words: 'Pay Forward.'"

"What does it mean?"

"It means that you should strive to be the very best at whatever you do, and work to make the present and the future better."

Jamie bowed to her friends in the way Lennier had taught her. "In Valen's name," she said in Minbari.

"In Valen's name," they repeated. She turned and boarded the transport.

 

© 2006, Valentina Michelle Smith

 

Babylon 5, Jeffrey Sinclair, Susan Ivanova, Michael Garibaldi, Zack Allen, Dr. Stephen Franklin, Talia Winters, G'kar, Na'Toth, Londo Mollari, Delenn, Lennier, Valen, Kosh, n'Grath, the Minbari, the Narns, the Vorlons, the Zocolo, spoo, and all related characters and situations, are from the science fiction program Babylon 5, created by J. Michael Straczynski. This is a work of fan fiction and is not written with permission of the creator.

  

  

  

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