Wow

Very well related story, my eyes are still watering. I can relate to the psyco dribble, the first on I spoke with when I was practically threatened with being committed. His appraisement of me “You’re just a homosexual”,  gave me my very first opinion of the psyco profession! Now, at 57, when my anti-depressants are working on all eight cylinders,  my opinion of life, on a really, Really Good day is “LIFE SUCKS”. I Finally woke up a couple of years back and accepted the truth I’d been wrestling with all my life, “God is nothing more than the Boogy Man, made up eons ago to scare little children to encourage them to behave, somewhere in time adults began to buy into the myth. I now sleep better without that constant fear of going to hell, can’t to a place that does not exist. I accept the premise, no god, no devil, no heaven, no hell, no fear, born, exist, die – that’s all, oblivion- just wish daily that dear old mom had believed in abortion before I had to live the “life” that she condemned me to by bringing me into this damn world.

Anyway, hope you’re growing stronger, and following Your dreams.
Dee Dee

Hello everyone:

I am now at BC, came out in 2004, had surgery in 2007, and now have a BF. I am doing very well, am off all the drugs, and am contemplating a return to work.

Many Blessings to you all.

Gwen Brown (Credence Brown)

ah me   yes  the cruelty of a weak woman and a bastard man hurts not only little girl wannbees but all those who come in contact with them and there is a special hell for them who made our life a hell too. My mother quit dressing me when I was about 12 and although she left pretty things in my closet she made it plain that they were for very private times and secret places....and they still are.. I had no evil male to pound my sissiness out of me  so that part is intact hope yours will come back too   such a sad cruel story!!

I hope you're doing ok Gwen.
Why your mother dressed you up as a girl I don't know.
And why that guy let her do it for six years?
and then started to beat you..

Or was he new to the family?
Anyway it sound like a really weird family situation.
And that you came out of that confused I can easily relate to.

I hope you get your life together though.
and don't give in to ill wishers.
Everyone here are as good as anyone else.
And love don't care about gender.

cheers
Yoron

quite an informed essay intresting but to short i would like to read more about this

Thank you all for the very encouraging comments about my Story. As you can see above I am now a much more honest Gwen Brown.

I was off line for nearly a year of Counselling and seeing a Phychiatrist. I am wondering now why I even bothered. I feel very betrayed by them. They even involuntarily put me on some very subduing drugs. I feel like I am imprisoned, however it is not all bad. It is very quiet in here and I am starting to regain a feeling of not being stoned. I am very much less vocal now but they have no control over what I think. I am being myself now as much as posible without actually dressing. It is a surprise to me how much I can actually do in the Stealth mode.

Gwen Brown

I Cried.....I feel.....I am saddened.. Very well written!

    Oh dear.  What a very sad story. It struck very close to home for me as I was subjected to much the same thing when I was young.
    As far as being to late to change.....Credence it's never to late to change.  if you are serious.  A person must be true to their heart to be whole.  If you are not then you are simply going thru the motions.
   As I said earlier this is a sad story and you managed to prevoke some strong emotions in me, as a writer I'm sure this is what you are striving for...to really reach out and touch the reader.  You did a very good job there.  I hope you comtinue practicing your craft.
      Sincerely: Rebecca Anne Stewart

Poignant and painful. As sad a story as I've yet encountered, it broke my heart and did, as its authoress warned, make me cry. Why do people make one another's lives so hard? My heart goes out to you, Credence, if this is what you've been forced to deal with.

"Those in my life care for me only in ways, which seem right to them, not me."

The pain in that remark will long stay with me.

A very poignant account.

>Those in my life care for me only in ways, which seem right to them, not me.

In this one sentence, Credence has summed up a feeling I've carried with me for years, but been unable to fully articulate.  Thank you.

Deni
(for direct replies, remove the "<pie_filling>-" from the address.

A sad story of a child that was raised different in the beginning than those around him/her. The forced change of perception is traumatica and scarring for life. I feel sad that people act this way.

Swan Song brought back my own memories.  I wasn't beaten but it was teasing from redneck neighbors.  I'm very angry about it now.  It's why I used to carry a saturday night special when I visited.  I still hope to arrange an accident for people like this.  I'm gonna make the bastards pay!