hi julia,

         i have read all ur stories on this site. being a lover of body swap stories it was my absolute pleasure reading all ur body transformation stories. i am very happy i stumbled upon this site although i read only body-swap stories n not much interested in TG material. as much as i liked the  story here are a few complaints or suggestion from me.

1) although i understand this site n stories here are caterred for the transgendered people n people who love transgender stories still the characters can be a bit more contemporary in thinking. i.e., it was ridiculous for Danielle to quit teaching n become a housewife. because as they are in a new planet n need to survive each person irrespective of their gender shud help out as much as possible. since they are in unknown planet if sum of the students dannielle taught died then the progress would stop. hence atleast till the future was secure each person needed to contribute in more ways than one instead of just being happy being a baby machine.

2) why is self-confidence tied up with gender. just because a person got transformed into another gender does not diminish their intelligence or their self confidence. we have many women leaders around the world n many career women who handle both career n home well. hence atleast in one of the stories you could have shown the female lead not being contented with just being a house-wife. although this criteria was handled to an extent in roll-over.

3) pat's excuse tht dan did not tell her abt the pregnancy was ridiculous too. she did not care abt her husband, children n family while it was being disintegrated. she was too self-centred.

4)lastly, it was quite weird that denise, kyla n pat all got sexually attracted to the 'new' opposite halves so early in the change. since here only the likes, dislikes preference n memories were transferred n not programmed to change after reaching the body. so it shud have taken a whole lot of mental strength n courage to change their like n preferences. dan was the only one who acted logically.

although i have given a huge list of complaints n loved the story. u really have a skill of writing which has been proved by all your works. well maybe since i am a male i sympatized with the former 'males. but the demand here maybe tht you provide stories where the transformed males act dominant n new females act submissive n hence you supply stories like tht.

anyway, thanx once again for your valuable work. it was nice reading your work. looking forward to more from you.

Amazing story! Fantastic!
I loved it!
Kisses.
Silvia.

That's a real love story, congratulations by this!
I loved it!
Kisses.
Silvia.

Just wanted to say I loved the story.  I know its been a long time since this was published but you still deserve my praise.  

I enjoyed this story a lot. The confusion you describe after the switch is really interesting. Lot of details are really well found and bring a lot to the story.
One thing I find disturbing is the constant hammering on the fact that women are willingly submissive, and men systematically dominant.
I see a lot of couple where the lady is actually the leader of the family. I believe that our social model lead to male dominance (even if it's a bit less true now) not that this is written in human genome.

I love this story but there is one thing that get on my nevers whenever reading AR a mind of about 2-5 can hold more then any other mind.  I know that the main reason for not letting the mind keep the memory was to be able to leave them stuck.  Other then that i love this story i hope that you will wright allot more.

great story .thank you

Well, I finished the story. Excellent! This is my type of reading as far as Science Fiction is concerned. Adventure and bonding in the family way of bonding and the same with friendship.  Everyone working together in order to accomplish their goals.
Anyway I hope you do write something similar sometime soon.

I have so far reached chapter thirteen and find this story just plain great! It may be science fiction but it is also plausible seeings as how we have come so far in our own generation and have also learned that anything can be reached with imagination and science.
It's a very good story and I hope that you can write more like these.

Dear Julia,

Never wrote or commented on a story before, but have admired your writing from afar for a long time.

I never have trouble placing myself in your stories and unlike most, your stories seem to get better the longer you develop them.

Just a note to let you know your efforts are appreciated!  Can't wait to see what's next!

BYE!

Jennifer ;->

Julie,it was well worth the wait.Your characters were flesh out and believiable.Excellent story line.I read your other stories as well and they are very good.Thanks for the privledge of reading your talented writing."Keep pushing the pen to the paper"

I found this story absolutly captivating!!  The entire story was astoundingly fantastic! I couldn't stop reading!  The development is truly unique, and the detail in the way the charicters think and how they changed over the course of time was truly inthralling! I hope to read more, and soon! I hope so anyway.

This is truly an excellent story!!

I tried to  E-mail you, but it bounced. Very good indeed. The discription of the brain body influencing the mind was extremely well done and the story flowed well. Many nice touches - like Pat bringing a bimbo to the wedding! I think in the next part you may need a little more conflict. Like the search party discovering something mysterioous or dangerous. Or one of the people who lost a great young body is jealous and causes problems.

THANKS!

well i did it. i finished reading your story. great job julia, just one thing ... dont make us wait so long for the naet chapter lol. it amazes me how you keep track of all your characters. you must have a figurine set with everyone maked and little tags saying where there at lol i know i couldn't manage that many . huggles from your fan and friend prue

what a relief!

it was like a cool drink of water after a drought. I can't put my finger on what I like about your writing Julia, but please write more.

I'd love to hear more about our colonists but anything else is good too.

hugs,
 Dayna.

ps.  latest chapter of scrambled souls was very sweet. I enjoyed experiencing it.

Lots of fun! I'm looking forward to the next installment! :o)

Thanks for Part 4!!!!!!!

I take back the comment I made in my 'Transposed Melody' review!   You've really been working hard Julia, so thanks. Now I have actually to read episode 4.  I'm sure I'll enjoy it - either way you'll hear!

luv

Geoff

I don't know who that imposter was, but it wasn't me.  I just finisdhed this story (what was posted) and found it highly entertaining and intelligently written. It did get a little dicey in the beginning with Dan and Dan, Jr.  I didn't notce the Jr. the first time and wondered, 'I thought Dan was married to Patricia, not Vicky?'  Anyway, you feel a connection with these characters, which is the mark of an excellent writer.  You want to hug the sympathetic characters and punch the running lights out of the prick characters.  Please continue with this saga.


Love,

Terry

I really like all of your stories, but I thought I'd post the review here as a way of encouraging you to continue on this story.

This is a very good story, well thought out, with a very interest premise and cast of characters.

My only complaint is the switching of the pronouns in this story, I'd prefer the style in your other stories where you didn't, or at least waited until the very end.  Keeping the pronouns emphasizes the strange situation the characters are in and makes the story more enjoyable.

WoW!  I just finished the third section.  I can never keep that many characters straight when reading, much less when writing.  I have to type up a table and and list the important items for each character.

I also have read a Long story with similar plot basis... but yours is unique unto itself.  I would also appreciate something in the way of "outer conflict"... ie the weather, the nasties in the ocean, discoveries on the expedition... etc.

I hope that there will Not be such a Long wait for the next issue.

Thanks for your effort. Keep writing!

Zip

PLEASE Do not make us wait 6 months for the next installment of this great story!!!

A week or so ago someone (Tigger?) suggested a theme for a story (I think on the Fictionmania board) which just about echoes 'Scrambled Souls'.  I knew I'd read the story somewhere but couldn't find it on my story overloaded hard drive.  Then your update brought it all back.  

Now, before I get critical I want to say how much I admire your style and the basic idea for the plot.  The characters are well drawn - one of the reasons I enjoy long stories - and it's relatively easy to keep track of each one.  I'm not too keen on serials and in this case I found I had to skim through episodes 1 & 2 to get back up to speed.

I'm afraid there's a 'but' though.  My main (only?) objection to your treatment is the sexual stereotyping of the characters.  Why should Pat suddenly become a redneck male chauvinist pig merely because she ends up in a strong male body?  Why does Dan suddenly forget all his engineering training?  I can accept that he'd have problems with the change, especially ending up in a pregnant body, but he surely hasn't lost all his experience and knowledge!  OK those adults ending up in very young children's bodies could be predicated to lose a lot, but not the adult to adult changes.  I'm an engineer myself and one of my brightest subordinates was a very attractive young woman who probably walked her 1:1 in Electronic Engineering.  Her gender had no effect on her engineering abilities.

I know you're going to claim artistic licence on the basis of there'd be less of a story if you adopted my thesis and I guess you may have a point.  However, I felt the point needed making.

After all that I'd like to close by saying that I'm looking forward to the next episode.  Thanks for all the (Flawed :-) - joking. honest!) work you've done so far.

This is a big story with lots of charactors and things going on, but you have pulled it off nicely. You have created an interesting world, and I eagerly await your next installment. Thanks for writing.

Nice story.  The twins are my favorites - hope to hear more about them in the next part.

Wow, what a story! I love your writing and I always look for your stories before others.So glad to see that your back.

The re-election part of part 3 lost a bit of my interest but I enjoyed the rest. Especially explaining that girls always wear shirts or blouses. (Of course that's a western thing) since in some part of Asia women do go in public on real hot days without tops and its nautal.

Hi,

Just to say that Julia Manchester's stories are the first ones I turn to when they are posted.

Especially enjoying Scrambled souls, The Characterisation, story premise are probably near the best I have read in many years.

Keep it up Julia

Thanks
Stuart

Hi.  I hope you haven't stopped working on your stories because of anything I may have said.  I've really enjoyed your works so far.  Please keep writing.

hugs,
 Dana.

Murphy's Law could never be more chaotic.  What an adventure: new planet, new lives, new equipment and new perspectives.  Parents who are now children and adults without much of a childhood disrupt families.  There's a lot to learn and to accept.  In the process, it's the question of who is going to survive the hormone change.

'Scrambled Souls' writer, Julia Manchester, presents a pretty balanced view of both the social and internal conflicts faced by the story's characters.  Sad moments are offset by times of joy and humor.  This tale is well worth the reading.

--CMB

Julia,

Well done!

The amount of effort is impressive and your imagination and attention to detail is 1st rank. Not only did I enjoy your story but am convinced that you are a story teller of great talent.

Mechanically - a few suggestions, but please take these with a dump truck full of salt (if you take them at all).

Multiple POV (Point Of View) stories have two inherent weakness that an author must overcome: readers getting to know the different protagonists to where there is some self identification, and the reader getting confused about which POV is present in each scene.

I felt some POV confusion. I suggest you seperate each POV scene with astericks * * * etc, to signal the reader, sometimes we need help!  And try to never use two POV's within one scene. That seldom comes off.

Another suggestion - more description (five senses). I thought your story literally cried out for more descriptive passages. this would also make the reader feel like he was getting to know your multiple protagonist's better. Ex, how cold was the air or the wind in the moring. Did the wind blow. Did strange smells come in with certain winds, coulnt'have been the same as earth for sure. Did Some of the new males enjoy sun until they got a sunburn. Did they find their taste buds different. even the feel of clothes. You have a richness around your colonists, reach out and tap it for your readers. You are our eyes.

Last: key element in great stories is conflict. If possible, sharpen your conflict a little. That may be fear of the encroaching rainy season, fear of the colonist going crazy in mass, but whatever it is, bring it up on the horizen like a dark cloud so everyone can see it - and worry!

You have so much cleverness in your story and caring that you have made me a fan. If any of the above irritates you I sincerely apologize because I would do nothing but encourage you to keep writing.

Noel

I just wanted to say that I enjoy the characterisation.  You're doing a good job of taking a large group and dealing with many different people.  I've notice and I may be wrong in this but the gender reversed characters seem to be universally hating their bodies.

I haven't figured out how many people are involved yet, and I'm not saying there should be one or any that are glad... rather that the people who are on this mission have a greater threat SURVIVAL that should help some of them overcome their distaste, shock, revulsion, etc. to get the job done.

Having said this I want you to know that I'm really enjoying the way you're handling the story so far.  I especially enjoyed the boy and girl interaction after the swimming.  I hope to hear more from these two.

I wish you good health and speedy creative writing.

Remember if you don't enjoy it... its work... if you do its a career!

hugs,
  Dana.

Julia Manchester is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. There is something for nearly everyone in this story. MtoF, FtoM, MtoM, FtoF, young to old, old to young, etc.